• http://www.iloverobots.us callchel

    holy shit.
    thanks for making me laugh, thats priceless.

  • janellio

    I don’t know if you visit natalie dee, but I saw this and thought of you.

  • trevordlb

    “Because I said so, damn it!…” I swear I’d never utter such words to children when I grew up, but sometimes in my swim classes, with eight children of about four years old and another eight of about 13 years old, with nothing but smart things to say, I find myself saying it as a plea for mercy, out of shear frustration, not because I can’t come up with an articulate response, but because I just don’t care… That’s right, I said it, I just don’t care after the millionth, “but why?!?!?!” Hopefully, I’ll learn to be more patient when I have a child of my own, but from what I hear from the parents of the children I teach, I am “remarkably patient…” We’ll see…

  • http://www.eighthourlunch.com Eight Hour Lunch

    Just wait until she discovers that a potty emergency is a get out of jail free card. You just can’t can’t argue with a four year who is jumping, screaming and dancing like James Brown after a Big Gulp.

  • http://cribceiling.blogspot.com Krisco

    Because I said so works until they’re about 11. That’s my guess at when it became REALLY annoying when my own parents could not come up with a better explanation.

  • Kerry

    I moved my daughter into a big girl bed shortly after her second b-day. She didn’t even attempt to get out on her own. She would wait until we came in and got her ever morning and after every nap!! She didn’t figure it out for months! You’ll be surprised, Leta will probably just yell for you like she does every morning!!! Worth a try if you’re thinking about it.
    But when they do figure out they can come into bed with you in the middle of night when your defenses are down…gulp, not fun!! wiggly little suckers

  • Meranath

    Hi Heather!

    When my best friend’s then-two-year old got out of his room early one morning and tried to make scrambed eggs(daddy found him sitting on the kitchen floor in a puddle of a dozen eggs, holding a wooden spoon and a little saucepan) I bought her a locking doorknob for his room. Except I put the lock on the outside.

    It looked terrible, but baby gates were never able to hold him and she didn’t want him getting to the oven in the middle of the night to finish the job. After about a month, we didn’t even have to lock it – he figured out that if his door was shut he should probably stay in there till mom or dad let him out, or if he asked nicely.

  • cailey

    When we moved into a new house, my little sister’s crib magically disapeared and a toddler bed was in it’s place (age 2). She saw it as great fun to play in with her toys, but absolutely refused to sleep in it. She repeatedly would climb into bed with me (our rooms were adjoined), which scared the shit out of our mother because my bed was significantly higher than hers.
    She rolled all over the bed. I was never surprised to wake up and find her on the end of my bed at my feet. I would reposition her and go back to bed. The few times I tried to put her in her bed after she had fallen asleep in mine were tragic. They DO know the difference! She would wake up screaming and be inconsolable for nearly an hour. So I would usually let her stay with me.
    She fell off of my bed maybe five times total. (I don’t believe she bounced) For a while we had her toddler bed positioned at the end of my bed as well as pillows surrounding my bed. Most of the time she rolled off of my bed and onto her own. This was the only time she stayed in the bed, because she woke up in my room. Eventually we moved her room so that she could be closer to our mother and not repeatedly wake me up-I did have school in the morning. She has now progressed to a twin bed-but she still falls once in a while. The matress on the floor idea is genius-if a little odd. Good luck with Leta’s!

    OH, and I concur that you have a beautiful, extremely smart child. And apparently very intimidating to plastic cows!

  • literatigirl

    Couldn’t figure out if your AlphaMom article was about your inability to dance and how that makes you different from your sister, or if it was about your latest favorite reality TV show.

  • jlf

    OK, THAT’S IT!!! I am getting my ‘tubes tied’.

  • http://www.macwebguru.com doog

    (looks warmly at receipt for vasectomy)

    (says small prayer of thanks)

    We return you now to your regular comment-surfing.

  • http://www.thewritingmother.blogspot.com goodapple

    I put my son in a toddler bed for the first time when he was around two and a bit. I went through our routine of reading a book and then singing a song and then kisses and hugs and I leave the room and close the door.

    Then I laid on the floor and peered under the door until I saw his feet hit the floor and cautiously start to walk across the room.

    Then I yelled “git back in bed!” and he FLEW back into bed… we didn’t have a single problem for a whole year…

  • http://truthsandhalftruths.typepad.com Nils Ling

    With our girls, we did a whole build-up of “Do you think she’s old enough to be in a big girls’ bed?” “Nah, no way.” “I am, too!” “Nah … she’ll just climb out and be bad and not stay in bed. She’s too little.” “No, I’m not, I’m a big gir!” “Well .. do you think we should try it …?” “No way, she’ll never be able to stay in bed.” “yes I will! Yes I will!”

    That went on for a few days, until there is a promise of a fristborn male child (as if I’d want one) if we would only relent and give her the opportunity to prove how good she could be. Which we finally, oh-so-grudgingly did … and had not a problem after that.

    Which is good, because my fallback was to scare the shit out of her with the Ankle-Eating Monster under the bed.

  • http://www.monkeythoughts.com monkey

    I transitioned the bed early as I have this unreasonable fear of my children breaking their neck by diving head first from the crib (William would climb/jump out of spite, Connor would climb/jump out of sheer boredom). However, Connor is a wiggly sleeper, so I keep pillows on the floor in case he rolls out of bed. He does have a problem staying in bed, but a baby gate at least guarantees that he will fall asleep somewhere in the vicinity of his bed.
    As for the time out…we tried it today and Connor refused to come out till HE was ready. Gotta love those tantrums.

  • cate

    I can’t read everything, my contacts are stuck to my cornea like gummy bears, so I apologize if this has been said already.

    Drop the side of the crib…OK I may be dating my self…do crib sides drop anymore?

    Anyway, it was our step to the big girl bed, and she would also be able to get up and pee if need be, “all my byself”

    She was a very obedient child like Leta.

    Her brother however took the dropped crib rail as an open invitation to bang around the house at will. Not as helpful.

  • http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com Rita Arens

    The little angel is about three months younger than Leta, but about 300 years behind her in the sleeping-through-the-night department. However, she does love the batshit freedom of a big-girl bed. Some people remove all the toys from their child’s room before they attempt this move. I don’t advise it. I mean, as long as they aren’t shinnying down the side of the house on a rope made from your underwear, who cares, really, as long as they are quiet.

  • http://oviedochickens.blogspot.com Fidget

    I’ve been amazed that she has lasted so long in a crib. My older one started escaping the crib around 14 months. She was so thin and boney we decided that she would not bounce and ended up tossing a twin mattress on teh floor like some flop house and surrounding it with those interlocking foam puzzle thingies. She was so excited to have a big girl bed that she forgot she could just get up… for a YEAR!

    Kid number 2 hit the big girl bed around the same age, she had to um learn… about staying in bed.

    She also puts toys in time out, apparently we have some rather lippy dinosaurs as I caughter her, hands on hips, giving those dinosaurs what for over being “sass” mouths

  • http://www.kevinworthington.com:8181 Kevin Worthington

    I have to remember these tips for when my wife and I have kids…

  • http://www.tamarisktree.blogspot.com TamarisKim

    One of my friends, whose son needed to move out of the crib in order to make room for the second behbeh, taught her little two year old genius to wait until the right time. They put an alarm clock with large numbers by his new big boy bed and told him not to get out of it until the clock read seven zero zero. He was so excited about the idea of seeing that very number, he would wait. It’s still working, four years later. Seeing as Leta is a number-wiz….

  • CJ mama

    40. The number of times I had to get up and put my 2 year old son back in bed at one particular naptime shortly after we moved him from crib to bed. I’m determined to find a better way with my daughter.

  • Lolajb

    I told my now 3.5 yr old daughter when she moved into the “big girl bed” at 32 months.
    “Never get out of this bed without me or you’ll be in BIG trouble!” and she never has…
    Of course that means she screams MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! whenever it is time to get out or use the bathroom.

  • http://typingelbow.blogspot.com typingelbow

    Congrats, Heather! Sounds like a whole new chapter of parenting has begun. BECAUSE I SAID SO!

  • cherylann

    I enjoy reading your entries about Leta. My daughter is about a month older than your girl. When Josslyn turned two we decided to get her a big girl bed (toddler bed) with big girl bed stuff and made it like a big grown up thing. It’s really close to the ground so we’re not paranoid about her falling out.

    Josslyn is also very big about putting my husband and I into timeout. The other day Daddy was pestering her so she put him into time out and whenever he would try and leave she would point at him and tell him… “time out daddy!” She’s a funny one.

  • http://mymomoirs.blogspot.com angiewis

    Ugh, the thought of transitioning to a big kid bed for my 2 1/2 year old scares me to death!

  • Kathleen

    My first climbed out at 16 months.

    I was 6 months pregnant at the time.

    I thought “no big deal” because I wanted to use the crib for the newbie anyway. So we got a big bed and I got rails to put on it. I had to adjust to naptimes when he would get out and play, and I still sometimes have some nights where I tuck him in 100 times, but most of the time he went right to sleep. He still does, at night, and for most naps.

    The part that worried me, though, was when the new baby came. He then started climbing INTO the crib. I have no idea how, he just did. I was afraid he would fall on the baby. Or smother the baby. Or jump on him – anything. Anytime I heard a squeak over the monitor I ran into the room.

    Anyway, it all worked out. The day I came in to check on them during nap and found them both asleep in the crib I realized there are actually worse things in this world than letting baby brothers share the occasional nap space.

    Leta might never want to climb out of her crib. Maybe the transition will be easier than you think. I look forward to finding out, at any rate.

  • feministbitch

    Congratulations, Heather! I think getting a two year old to stay in a time out is a HUGE accomplishment, worthy of at least a mild celebration (somewhere between Mormon and Girls Gone Wild). (-:

  • SarahLou

    Ok, second comment: I got a big girl bed when I was like 3ish and I fell out a couple times but nothing serious like stiches or breaking things. But my mom put up kiddie bed-gaurds and when I got too close to the edge I would feel the cold steel and uncomfortable netting and scootch back the the center. voila! Instant aversion. Weather it was on purpose or not. But bed-gaurds. They work.

  • http://bellybuttonbugs.blogspot.com bellybuttonbugs

    Have you been watching Supernanny?

    I guess it could be worse, Leta could be shoving the cow’s head down into the potty and making it stay there for 2 minutes.

  • http://www.restonbaby.com Ainsley

    I just moved my 2 year old into a big bed a few weeks ago. He never tried to climb out, and I thought he would hate the move. I dreaded it for months, but he loved it and the transition was super smooth. I think if you’ve already established healthy sleep habits in the crib, they’ll automatically respond to the new environment.

  • http://www.dooce.com Jennifer in Ohio

    We waited a really long time to put the kiddo into a toddler bed. She never tried to climb out of her crib, so we didn’t feel the need. But, by the time she turned three, we felt it was time regardless. We secured her dresser and bookcase to the walls and got a super strong gate for her room (no places for her to put her feet so she can climb over). In fact, we didn’t have to install the gate- we bought a pressure mounted gate (called the “hands free gate”- I LOVE IT!!).

    She loves her new big girl bed. Just loves it. Everybody warned me that she would be screaming at the gate night after night, but they couldn’t be more wrong.

    At nap time, she did try to get out of napping and would just play with her toys, but those days we just put her to bed earlier. I told her that she would get two hours of quiet time regardless of whether she napped or not, and she finally “got it”.

    Good luck :)

  • ethanollie

    transition, smansition…it all becomes the new normal
    good luck dooce!

  • MaggieBelle

    I’m SO using “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” when my baby is old enough.

    I will also use “Because I’m the mom!”

  • http://www.prettysenshi.com/ Zeynep

    I thought that this story was especially cute. I can just imagine the naughty Biblical cow getting its due.

  • http://www.katiescarlett36.com Angela Kriger

    Well, and if the “Because I said so” doesn’t work to keep her in the bed, there’s always superglue and duct tape.

  • Jack’s Raging Mommy

    My mother is constantly warning me about Jack climbing out of the crib, partially because he is a climber, and partially because I did it at an unnaturally early age and it’s karma.

    His room is so not childproof that it scares the hell out of me, but at 15 months he is only beginning to try to figure it out.

    God help us once he gets it down, and God help you now that Leta is almost there.

  • chelle

    I have one word for you: Supernanny

    I have eight words for you: I adore So You Think You Can Dance!

    Good Luck with the big girl bed thing…

  • http://givingmommy.typepad.com katem9579

    I always think its so crazy to read about what Leta is up to because my Baby G is only one month younger and seems to have so much of the same peronality as little Leta. I just wrote about G doing the exact same thing the other day with her beachball and her time out chair…though she was a little more dramatic and added in some of her own style. I wrote about it here

  • Mike-L

    My wife and I are expecting our first in November (it’s a girl!), and we can’t even get our dogs to sit. I hope in two years time I can get our little girl to obey a time out – if not, what are your feelings on Duct Tape as a child monitoring device?

  • PixieMegh

    After the chapter titled “Because I Said So” comes “Because I’m the Mommy, That’s Why.”

    I *heart* So You Think You Can Dance. And I too have no talent in that department.

    And can I just add that the Kojak corpses ARE scary?

  • s gazzetti

    We’re at the point of considering the transition to a ‘big-kid’ bed, too. We thought about it and then decided to just staple chickenwire over the top of the crib.

  • PinkPoppies

    Hey there — time for a bed. Kids don’t bounce; they thunk and parts break — not pretty. We tried the toddler bed in the room to get used to it — not a chance. What worked was redoing the whole room — rearranging the furniture the books, and adding some new cool thing beside the bed.

    Also we were worried about night wandering as we have stairs that no gate would fit. We found these door knob covers at Toys R Us that only adults can manage (and in fact, there are adults who can’t — it was the test of coolness in our hosue to see who could figure it out). We only shifted the knob cover when the child was potty trained for night in case nature called at 3 a.m.

    Time outs are weird things, and appear to work either for a short time, or for particular children. Lots of child development experts don’t like this method because it usually involves a perceived withdrawal of affection, partly because most children are sent away from the parent to their room for the timeout. Much better is using consequences. As in, if you throw the toy, then it will go in the cupboard and you will not be allowed to play with it until this afternoon or tomorrow morning (or what ever interval was appropriate). If you do not behave, then we will leave. Then the parent has to follow through. That’s the hardest part. But then parenting is never easy.

  • http://www.snickrsnack.com Snickrsnack Katie

    Wow, for a two year old to stay put in time-out is one thing. For a two year old to start giving time-outs to her toys, that is pretty cool.

    My 20 month old niece will sit on the time-out chair facing the wall and she will force herself to stop screaming long enough to pretend like she is having fun. She will put her hands up against the wall and start playing patty-cake with the wall, and she will giggle and smile in between sobs. It is like she is trying to say “SEE? I CAN have fun in Time Out! So THERE!”

  • http://gypsysavage.blogspot.com/ GypsySavage

    Heather, ever consider starting her out on a futon bed? You could fold it up into a little couch for her during the day and a bed at night. She sure wouldn’t have far to fall and LOTS of room for all her stuffed animals to sleep with her. It’s amazing how much little ones learn from us. She is already giving her little stuffed pals her version of time out. I have a 15 month old grandson and can’t wait to see what little tricks he picks up from his parents.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/gooooder Goooder

    The thought of her yelling TWO MINUTES at a toy cow is pretty hilarious. I wonder what it could have possibly done to deserve a time out?

  • jgsearls

    Lawd…I’d trade ya. My daughter (26 months old) has been in a regular bed for three months (we moved and didn’t want to have to put her mother effin crib up in the new house). She doesn’t get out of it. Ever. Just yells for me like I’m her indentured servant and she’s a noble woman who needs help getting out of her bed to be escorted to the water closet to take care of her urinary needs. Always me. Never Daddy. When she’s done with the potty, she bounds cheerily into our room, smiles broadly at my husband and says, “Mohnin’ Dada.”

  • http://www.afunkdiddy.blogspot.com onegirlmanyideas

    at least leta isn’t ripping the limbs off things while chuck punishes god’s creatures. that would be weird.

  • ChristyD

    I’m so impressed that she stays in time out. We put a gate on our kids’ doors when we moved them to the big bed, and if they climb over, we put one above that. It looks like jail, but it keeps them in their rooms instead of wandering at night. Good luck.

  • http://www.jbjones.blogspot.com Mrs Ca

    Now, that’s what I call power. Unfortunately I don’t think it lasts forever, although I was scared enough of my parents to not try anything like drinking while I still lived under their roof. After I got out though? All bets were off.

  • Jessamiah

    with my daughter we got her a toddler bed (I’m not sure if you have IKEA there but they have a bed that extends as your kid grows bigger). And then we had both the toddler bed and the crib in her room.
    That way she got used to it, wanted to take her naps in it and liked it a lot. I would definitley put a lock on her door so she can’t get out when you are asleep, but other than that she should like it.

    We totally emphasized the whole “Big Girl Bed!!!” idea :)

    P.S- I think the new comment system is an awesome idea.

  • ktjane

    I can’t wait until Leta starts a blog – she is HILARIOUS!