• Free to Be

    GET RID OF CHUCK FRIDAYS???? Oh Hell no!

  • thleen

    People really are amazing.
    America finally has someone to blame besides fast food companies and convenience stores and their Big Gulp sodas and processed foods in your grocer’s freezer: finally you have been recognized, Heather, as the reason alot of America is obese. Aha!
    I knew after that post about chocolate that I would not be responsible for my actions of creating my own high caloric masterpiece.
    Now there are answers to this national problem of obesity.
    I just wonder who they blame for the super sized ignorance.
    Oh, yeah, and by the way……..

  • acharpenter

    I have been reading this site for years and this is the first time I have felt compelled to leave a comment….

    I say keep the hate mail coming! It’s not like you take them seriously and the hate mail reviews are some of the best entertainment!

    Keep up the good work Heather!!!!!

  • http://fixedupgirl.typepad.com fixedupgirl

    “F*ck the naysayers because they don’t mean a thing, because this is what style we bring.”

    I think 311 had something there.

    I like your style, Heather.

  • Liv

    i am looking forward to that masthead! and i agree with what has been said many times alread; if you dont like it, dont read it. shockingly, there is quie a lot more out there on the internet.

  • thefirecat

    I’m particularly loving this little bit of tripe:

    “Stop playing the cancer card, Heather. It was okay in that first long post about it. But how stupid of you to mention it in the same sentence as your husband’s clogs. You have no idea what it’s like to really have cancer. Your bump on your arm could be serious, but chances are it’s not. You’re going too far for the sake of having something interesting to say. Shameful, Heather.”

    Yes, Heather, that’s right, you’re only imagining that you have a potentially deadly disease.

    ???????? Reality check please. It’s like Gertrude Stein. Cancer is cancer is cancer. It’s scary and painful no matter where it is, or what kind it is. BECAUSE IT’S YOURS.

    COULD be serious? Nope, not serious. It’s, what, just a completely casual form of unserious cancer. And god forbid you lessen the plight of your husband’s shoes by mentioning this completely un-serious disease in the same sentence.

    May I have permisson to borrow one of Jon’s clogs, so that I may stuff it up the appropriate orifice of above-quoted asinine poster? Jeezh.

    PS, I *so* have a crush on your dog. We lost ours about a year ago (she’s at least still alive….somewhere…..) and I’ve been living vicariously through Chuck.

  • http://blueeyezz.livejournal.com Mel

    Wow…Idiots…It’s your page, not theirs. Goodness…People are so hateful. :(

  • thefirecat

    Oh…yeah…hope we were all wearing our sarcasm goggles for that.

    Just checkin…

  • zitsmom

    I wonder who is standing behind those whiners forcing them to read blogs they hate. God, I hate stupid people.

  • JustLinda

    Four hundred and thirty comments?? I think I’d orgasm if I got that many. I’m a comment whore, though. I’m also a shameless Dooce fan and I love reading your stuff… I’ve only found you within the past year. Keep doing what you’re doing and take your entertainment from the haters. It blows my mind that people would take the time to write a complaint instead of just surfing on and never looking back.

    Someday, I’ll have a hater and I’ll know I made it. Ha! Today is my one year anniversary of blogging.

    Did you know I wrote you a tribute poem? hahaha Yes, it’s true… (and yes, I take personal credit for you starting to put your comments back on again. My ego is THAT huge!)

    Can I post the link for my tribute poem??? If not, delete me – I’d take no offense: http://justlinda.net/blog/2006/02/02/case-study-what-does-brown-nosing-get-you-in-the-blogosphere/

  • JWo

    It infuriates me how people choose to read a blog then berate the writer for what is written about. Apparently it’s a blast to send hate mail when it was one’s own choice to be a return customer.

    The way I figure it, that’s their only way of “release” – as you said, [more than] one of them needs a good one up the pooper.

    Keep on rockin!

  • Dogmom

    I had a dream recently about Heather and Leta and motherhood and expensive whiskey, in that order. And let me tell you it was the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in a long time. And I hope to dream about it again.

  • Hamle Elme

    Long time reader, first time commenting:

    Personally, I love all of the posts/pictures/videos that include Leta, Chuck, and Jon- ESPECIALLY Leta. I’m expecting myself, and I often find myself wishing that I will have a baby girl that will turn out to be just as beautiful, smart, and all around loveable as her.

    Also, I am just as baffled as the others who question why your hatemailers continue to read your site if they have such a problem with it.

    Heather, I think that you are a great mom, have a wonderful talent for making every day things quite amusing, and have a WONDERFUL family. Please don’t stop doing what you do.

  • Anne L.

    Why, oh why won’t the haters just STOP READING if they hate it so much? Why?
    Dooce, you rock.

  • Renae

    Hate mailers are a funny breed, they take time out of their oh so important lives to whine about how pathetic they think you are as if you are supposed to care about their opinions of you. Get a life people. They aren’t obligated to visit this site or read what is posted here, yet they feel compelled to do so, and then they want to flame you about it. Oh goody, lucky you.

    Cancer is scary; I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone who has actually survived cancer themselves would belittle anyone else’s cancer scare, that is an extreme form of heartlessness that is absolutely foul.

    And in other content related notes, I love the Leta and Chuck stories, they make me laugh out loud on a regular basis, and the clog war thing was hilarious.

    For every hate mailing troglodyte there are scores of us cheering you on. Keep it up.

  • http://jayesel.net Jennifer

    I agree with Anne, you rock. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing… I would visit whether you had ads or not, whether you write about Leta or Chuck or world peace or whatever. The thing I like best is HOW you write, not WHAT you write. :)

  • Jason

    Awesome, simply awesome.

    Personally I look forward to getting hatemail one day.

  • bomnomore

    Wow Heather. 433 LUVAS! ;-) And I love your precious Leta. You will pass wonderful mothering qualities to her. Don’t listen to those ‘tards. You’re a good Momma.

  • Nefariousnina

    you suck huge nuggets of monkey shit! i liked it better when you were a man! your husband is a gay-ass for wearing those clogs. your dog has more brains than you and your family combined.

    I’m just trying to make it into your next hatemail roundup ;)

    Still love the site..and by the way? I put ***25*** pieces of mesquite jerky on my 13 year-old son’s head and he didn’t flinch once. On behalf of my champ, we challenge Chuck to a “things on your head”-off. (???) You’ve been SERVED.

  • Smacky

    I love you, Dooce. You too Blurb.

    Oh, and that last girl was wrong. I care about Leta! She’s fun to see in photos and the occaisional video. There aren’t ANY little toddlers around here, so it’s great to see your kid doing all the kid stuff I find so adorable.

    And can you tell GEORGE! the mysterious AIM girl says hi?

  • http://allibrew.blogspot.com allibrew

    Dude, people suck. Time to switch to decaf, angry people. Seriously.

  • SarahLou

    They are holding out the hope that if they repeatedly bash everything you say you’ll change your writing, shut down your blog and maybe they’ll one day be as articulate or Ruler of the Universe ON IT!

    Clearly, they can’t learn from your doings!

  • http://divinediva07@hotmail.com DivineDiva

    Some people just suck. Can’t really put more effort into it than that! Btw, My hubby is the same way, Frisky when he is sick , he thinks a lil lovin’ goes along way. (to the ER) Any way , I loves ya!

  • SarahLou

    They are holding out the hope that if they repeatedly bash everything you say you’ll change your writing, shut down your blog and maybe they’ll one day be as articulate or Ruler of the Universe ON IT!

    Clearly, they can’t learn from your doings!

  • Mookypants

    The hate mail encourages me to click through on as many of your ads as possible every day.

  • http://justlinda.net JustLinda

    Oh, I forgot to say… I TOTALLY agree with the haters that dooce dot com sucks. It’s so passe… really, just a waste of readers time. I think people should come to MY blog instead.

    Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket….

  • belletoes

    Almost forgot, Leta is beautiful and hilarious, Jon is awesome and my entire family is obsessed with the Chuckles! Hope Jon gets well soon and don’t go changin’… to try and please them…

  • shaz

    I was so worked up about this, I had to blog! :)

    comments here…

    sorry, no trackback.

  • eskimo pie

    My my MY. I’m reading these with a slack jaw. Its the same feeling I get watching Jerry Springer (for 30 seconds until I can’t stand it anymore). I feel embarrassed for these people since they can’t seem to do it for themselves.

    To Robert who said he checks in to “see if you have written anything that would be interesting to someone who isn’t raising a two year old” I say, I don’t think so. I have no kids or plans for kids, but I come to this site every day – what a joy! I know other childless types and… God forbid… MEN who enjoy your work as well. Yes, it IS work to write a column daily, update a website, add photos and so on. Hey, you know this but most people think it’s techno-magico. If ads on your site make it possible, then so be it.

    So keep stacking the meat on Chuck’s nose! Hope Jon is better soon. At least he hasn’t lost the will to grope.

  • Lady Bug

    Over 430 comments, so maybe this is already been said, but…

    Perhaps the reason your life is so *fruitful*, as Tara observed, is because it has a grapefruit ON IT?

  • ealasaid

    Ha!! I went on with my life for a few hours, and came back to LOTS of folks “kissing your ass” =)

    By the by. . .if Jon is the Father. . .then is he REALLY a babysitter. . . hmmmmm. Sometimes I let my husband babysit his own kid too.

    SO my thought was – a toddler has a tantrum, not because he/she likes feeling like crap- but because he/she might just needs to be acknowledged, like with a hug for example.

    Maybe some of the grumpy folks out there are really seeking your undivided attention/love – and haven’t gotten out of the toddler tantrum stage yet. . .

  • http://chaithere.blogspot.com AndreaBT

    Holy. Freakin’. Cow.

    I have no expectation that you, Heather, would visit my blog just because I comment here. I comment because 1) comments are open (today anyway!) and 2) I like what I read here and 3) there have been times when the comment page was absolutely a ROCKIN’ place to be (refresh. refresh. refresh again. Bucky, Nilbo, Susie, Mrtl, and all the other fun people I first came to know or know of here.) I don’t always agree with you, but I don’t comment on those parts because the great writing far outweighs the places my opinion diverges from hers. It’s just not that important.

    The first amendment still stands, last I checked. And for the life of me, especially as one who has suffered post-partum depression herslef, I am horrified that there are still people out there who are so cavalier about motherhood and depression. (not to mention CANCER! in ANY form!)

  • chelle

    God, I love your hate mail!

    When people attack you with grammatically incorrect slander, don’t they know its just amusing? It comforts me to picture you sitting at the computer, reading your hatemail and giggling gleefully instead of trying to get through it with your thick skin still intact. Please, keep it coming!

    Now, where did I leave my Capri Sun and ranch rice cakes…..

  • http://chaithere.blogspot.com AndreaBT

    HerSELF. Ugh.

  • The Lizzy

    I would also like to see Chuck have his own blog. What can I say, I’m a pathetic person who (according to someone on Livejournal) “has nothing better to do than troll the internet and has no friends except for her dogs.”

    I would Chuck to join my pack of dog-friends. He and Zorro the Dog (http://www.livejournal.com/users/zorrothedog) and Goggle Dog (http://goggledog.blogspot.com) would be great buds.

  • http://www.teensleuth.squarespace.com TeenSleuth

    Thanks for the laugh. There’s nothing funnier than making fun of crazies.

    Also, the number of comments here is RIDONKULOUS.

  • Zoot

    I actually don’t have anything to say about your commenters (other than, I really hope you get more NICE email than HATE email or I wouldn’t blame you for secretly changing your email all together).

    MY HUSBAND IS A GROPER TOO. No matter how sick he is, he does the exact same thing. I’m glad I’m not alone.

  • Theora

    Long time reader, first time commenter.

    I’m sure you know this, but for every whiner, there are many more happy and interested readers who lurk, laugh out loud, read your posts to unsuspecting family members, and all around just appreciate you for who you are.

    Many thanks for all your words that brighten my day!

  • Vida

    The common denominator in all of these seems to be a feeble grasp of spelling, punctuation, and humor. Maybe these people don’t like your site because they can’t understand words that are larger than two syllables. You make them feel inferior with words like “explanation” and “oncoming.” So instead of just stopping their visits, they come back because they really like to have their panties in a twist. They like having a right to be offended about something.

  • cardshoppegirl

    small children throwing temper tantrums sometimes makes me giggle.

    big children sending hate mail makes me laugh and cry all at once. kind of like Patrick Swayze in To Wong Foo … shame.

  • spacecat

    Yikes, that hatemail was stressful… The only way to counteract the anxiety is to prepare a “Suck It, Vituperrious Trolls” Cookie. It’s a lot like the Oh My God Our Plumbing’s Fucked Cookie, but substitute mint chip ice cream, Reese’s Pieces, and then feed half of it to Chuck and Leta, whilst posting about it and snapping photos for next Chuck Friday.
    Bourbon optional.

  • http://dailypiglet.wordpress.com Piglet

    This amazes me that people even waste their energy on this. These are the people that were on Jerry Springer aren’t they? Geesh! And, I thought that show was staged.

    More than anything, I am glad you are “ratting” them out so-to-speak. I really hope you never, ever, never, ever take these people to heart. There are many, many Dooce lovers in the world that support, admire, respect and LURVE your blog.

  • Brian Hagerty

    “Who wants to hear about your sewer line?” asks Brooklyn. My wife and I, that’s who. We want to hear EVERYTHING about your sewer line. Inspired by Jon’s suggestion, we recently had our own sewer line bladed just for the hell of it and the plumber took out roots the size of a grapefruit ON IT. Your sewer-line saga may be the most valuable thing I’ve ever read on the web.

    So thanks!

  • Mike-L

    Now I’m admittedly new to the world of blogs. I neither own a blog, nor do I have a list of blogs I hit on regular basis, nor do I intend to use dooce.com as a springboard to link people to my blog. So maybe I don’t get it.

    I’ve hit dooce pretty much every day for the last year. I read it because I appreciate the sarcasm, and laugh at the jokes, and enjoy the stories. I have a wife, and dogs, and a daughter on the way. And I don’t even know how dooce “used to be” but I know I love it and sympathize with it now. And Heather is more honest with us than I can be with myself as far as how I feel on a day-to-day basis.

    So I don’t get it. But I guess people can feel free to say whatever they want…

  • Naomi

    I love the suggestion of getting up from the computer and into the arms of oncoming traffic. Love it. I think it’s sound advice for Mia. I hope she takes heed.

  • Mike-L

    No, I change my mind.

    Up yours, you stupid, whiny fucks.

    A person running a personal blog with ads doesn’t owe her audience shit just because there are ads on it. She writes about her life to communicate with like minded people, not to cater to someone’s personal taste. I’m sorry if seeing some ads in a corner interfered with your life so much that you feel obligated to be pandered to, but if that’s the case you probably live a very easy life. And you’ll probably the first ones eaten when the revolution comes.

    I mean seriously, that’s like saying your wife owes you a blowjob because she said cunnilingus might be fun.

    As far as cancer goes. FUCK ALL OF YOU. I won a fight with Leukemia, and I still have the platelet deficiency to prove it. But if you ever, EVER told I didn’t have the right to express how the experience scared the shit out of me when I was sick, I would have put my platelet-deficient dick in your eye. And seriously, I haven’t heard Heather be anything be brave and honest about what most people would be scared shitless over. And she complains much less about CANCER than you people are about a site YOU VOLUTARILY VISIT. Seriously, don’t be the butt-plug that says “that dildo is gross.”

    Heather, I’ll keep visiting if you keep being honest. And hell, maybe I’ll click on an ad one day.


  • http://holyschmidt.blogspot.com Holy Schmidt! – Melanie

    There are always going to be haters. Fuck them and their opinions.

    Let’s see. Who’s the bigger loser? The woman who posts about the daughter she loves and the dog that she loves like a child, or the ass-hats that keep coming back to read more of the things they claim to hate…over and over again?

    I’ve seen GEORGE! weild a chainsaw…Send him after them.

  • ksted

    I know I’m only like number 450 or so to say it but—You rock and those hatemailers can SUCK IT.

  • http://thisthatmotherthing.blogspot.com/ AnitaBonita

    I don’t get it. If people don’t like to read about you….WHY DO THEY COME HERE TO READ ABOUT YOU!?

    It’s like turning to a TV channel and watching a show that bugs you. Why!? How stupid is that really?!

  • Heidi

    If Jon doesn’t have West Nile do you guys have any idea what he might be dealing with? I hope he’s on his way to a speedy recovery.

    Thanks always for making me laugh my ass off.