• Tanya

    Outstanding! Your life doesn’t suck enough for you to be scared by a malignant tumor. You should get divorced and kill your babysitter (and carry her head around in the trunk of your car, I guess). Then, and only then, can you shamelessly be scared.

    Incidentally, I do find that a desert really helps my stress. Mojave, usually, but Sahara worked pretty nicely too. Too bad you can’t IQ-filter a blog.

  • The Wanderer

    People who have nothing good to say should keep their comments somewhere else. What sort of parents brought you up to leave rude remarks on other people’s property? Are you the same guys who leave graffitti in public places and make tax payers clean up after you? vandalise your own blog for f***’s sake.

  • chickwithkids

    You are a jewel! Your blog is the first one I ever read. I didn’t know what the blog concept was about until I discovered Dooce!! Your enteries are captivating and hilarious. It’s funny that the very things that seem to piss some people off are the very things that keep me coming back to your site. Kids, husbands, dogs and homes….what could give more abundant writing topics? For those of us who relate to you and look forward to our daily dose of Dooce, don’t stop, don’t change.

  • http://www.dooce.com Jennifer in Ohio

    I know I commented once already- but I was suddenly reminded of a sign my mother keeps in her kitchen…

    May those who love us, love us
    May those who don’t love us, turn their hearts
    If you can’t turn their hearts, then turn their ankles so we can recognize them by their limping.

    I hope Jon feels better soon. It’s probably croc poisoning……..

  • http://www.goddessinthecity.blogspot.com MinervaJane

    People are fucking nuts. And apparently have no grasp of punctuation, spelling or grammar. I’m neither a mother nor a cancer survivor but I find your site endlessly fascinating. And your photos are amazing. I also drop in on Jon’s site blurbomat from time to time. Good stuff. Ignore the psychos and keep writing.

  • Liz K

    The life and times of dooce completely cracks me up. I look forward to your updates, and mostly, your wicked sense of humor.

    For what it’s worth, I find that when you write about Leta, you have a great way of putting into words exactly those feelings of love and admiration for your daughter that I have for my own. But I get to experience them from a different angle — yours. For whatever reason you began doing this full time, it seems to me that you’ve become very successful at it. That’s obvious from your great ability to connect with those of us who drop by. Let that be a compliment to you, and don’t let the pissers get you down!

  • http://avoicecrying.blogspot.com Katieelliott

    Who are these people and why can’t they just act like the rest of us and just move on when they don’t care about something anymore? Is it really necessary to reprimand someone for doing something that others obviously enjoy?

  • http://www.reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    Have you ever thought about printing out all the hate mail so you can wipe your ass with it? Might save you a trip to the grocery store so that you have more free time to abuse your child with sugar and ruin your dogs eyesight with the camera flash.

    Then when Leta is hopped up on sugar and Chuck is blinded by the light you can take a little “me time” and get a big bottle of vodka and get smashed and wander around your yard in a big tshirt and no pants until the crew from Cops shows up. When they get there you can throw Jon’s clogs at them while he stands on the porch crying because you abuse him mentally by not embracing his clog loving goodness.

    That would be awesome.

  • http://jenntink.blogspot.com jennifer

    Wow, maybe they feel that you’re holding them hostage to read your blog with that semi-automatic firearm you purchased at Wal-Mart?

    Or, was Leta’s cuteness so intimidating they just couldn’t hit the big x in the corner to close the browser and walk away?

  • ksted

    Why don’t you post the hatemailers’ email addresses on here so your fans can bombard them with 450+ hatemails of our own? That’ll teach ‘em.

  • chickwithkids

    You are a jewel! Your blog is the first one I ever read. I didn’t know what the blog concept was about until I discovered Dooce!! Your enteries are captivating and hilarious. It’s funny that the very things that seem to piss some people off are the very things that keep me coming back to your site. Kids, husbands, dogs and homes….what could give more abundant writing topics? For those of us who relate to you and look forward to our daily dose of Dooce, don’t stop, don’t change.

  • Eeyore_784

    Dear God Heather your site sucks. Yeah, no not really, love it here, I am not a hatemailer, I just wanted you to read my post to say that I have been here since before Leta and still a faithful reader. Keep up the good work. Not like you needed me to tell ya though right?

  • http://mythoughtsdm.blogspot.com Melina Cross

    Well your hate mail has confirmed my misanthropic view of the country…what a bunch of dolts. I’ve never understood (nor will I) why people cmplain about what people choose to post on their blogs, but whatever, these people seem hellbent on being unhappy and spreading their malignancy around.

    I particularly “enjoyed” Bill’s lovely metaphoric statement about watching a motorcyclist die while wrapping himself around the pole…I know when my father died precisely this way the day after I graduated from college, I wasn’t enjoying the spectacle. But the spectacles I do enjoy??? Picture of Leta, Chuck, Jon and clogs…those pictures don’t harm or cause pain to anyone.
    *stepping cautiously off my soapbox*

  • http://www.bellavenere.blogspot.com The Daily Rant

    I loved this post. I don’t know which I find more amusing; the hatemail you choose to post or your responses to them. Still, my favorite of all time (since I started reading your blog) has to be “Email: Best wishes in growing up” from March 8, 2005, which is something I actually emailed to my friends so they could also get a good laugh.

    I have yet to find a blog (or site, really) that I enjoy more than yours. And everytime I pass through SLC, I wonder what you, Jon, Leta and Chuck are up to!

    Keep up the fantastic job you’re doing and keep on with the entertainment you provide to people who actually GET the honest, clever, witty writing and humor that is so you.

    Some of us should be as lucky to get so much hatemail. At least we’d know people were visiting AND reading our blog posts!!!

    Heather, you DO rock!!

  • G-Dawg

    I love everything about you the hater hate. Especially Chuck!

  • http://www.sweetdaisy.net CometGirl63

    wow, 448 comments. take that haters!

    seriously though, why would someone read a site they don’t enjoy, and then send an email saying how much they hate it? seriously.

    I’ve been reading dooce.com for about a year, and one thing I love about it is how well you document a glimpse into your life. keep up the good work!!

  • http://kimbanelson.blogspot.com/ dancingnancy

    There are some deranged people out there! I’m sorry I get enjoyment out of reading your hate mail. :) Completely insane people…….

    I too find it odd that whenever my husband is sick, injured, or half asleep, he is always lucid enough to grab my butt or boobs…….maybe they come wired for it.

  • http://www.aflux.net Anna

    I think you funny.

  • Lindsay

    Ok, I could not stop laughing when i read this:

    …I’ll probably hit myself in the stomach until I vomit my Capri Sun and ranch-flavored rice cakes all over my monitor….

    What a WEIRDO!

    Heather, I love your blog, and i’m always inspired by you. Keep up the good work and don’t let these idiots get you down.

  • Aimless

    I can’t decide if the hatemailers are ignorant, jealous or possibly both. Half of them appear to have failed to complete their education beyond grade school, while others are upset that you have a successful blog. So, the question is: If you dislike the blog so much why do you read it? Why did you take the time to create an account to log in to comment? What exactly is a physo ward?
    I googled ‘hater’ in the hopes I would get some solid gangsta rap lyrics but got Hilary Duff instead, so in her words: “Don’t spit on me and shame yourself Because you wish you were someone else”

  • Zaza

    Ctrl-alt-delete for all hate-mailers. Do you know what the wonderful thing about weblogs is? You don’t have to read them. If this weblog annoys you, just don’t go here anymore. Isn’t it amazing that some things in life can be soooooo easy?!

    Am a self-proclaimed Dooce-addict,
    fond of the fact that I can see and read about Leta all the way in Europe! I love the Dooce-style. Would get grumpy having to do without it for too long. Get well soon, John. Take care, Heather.

  • http://starlit.lunardreams.net Natalie

    I think it is really funny that all these people think that what THEY think about what YOU write should actually matter. And that they continually read your blog if they obviously hate it SO MUCH. They need to seriously re-evaulate their life goals… because they have really screwed up somewhere.

  • G-Dawg

    I love everything about you the haters hate. Especially Chuck! Okay, JOn and Leta too.

  • CincyGirl

    Heather:

    Interesting for every handful of bitchy people, there are 10 times as many people who love reading what you write. I actually laughed out loud at the comment that you need to stop taking up all the room on the internet. As for the comments about your cancer: how petty can they be to play the my-life-is-harder-than-your-life game? Pathetic. I hope you dont absorb any of their negativity, Heather. You have so much to be jealous of; its a small wonder that people spend their precious free time writing you hate mail. Thanks for all the posts, especially the ones about Leta, Chuck, Mormons and Clogs. :o )

  • G-Dawg

    I love everything about you the haters hate. Especially Chuck! Okay, Jon and Leta too.

  • http://cassandralz.livejournal.com Cassie

    hey heather… what’s the record for number of comments on a post? :-)

  • http://kimbanelson.blogspot.com/ dancingnancy

    There are some deranged people out there! I’m sorry I get enjoyment out of reading your hate mail. :) Completely insane people…….

    I too find it odd that whenever my husband is sick, injured, or half asleep, he is always lucid enough to grab my butt or boobs…….maybe they come wired for it.

  • http://badgervan badgervan

    After reading those demented comments ( obviously repubs ), I now know why george bush II is in our White House. Keep up the superb writing – not all of us can make a living doing what we do very well, and love doing. This is the definition of success. Consider yourself very fortunate. You are very, very good at what you do here.

  • Chloe

    So it’s your fault that I’ve put on weight since I quit smoking, not the fact that I eat everything in sight? What a relief.

    Don’t change a thing about your blog. I look forward to the Friday Chuck Photo and just LOVE the monthly Leta letters.

  • http://www.daleythoughtsfornow.blogspot.com Nancy D.

    I once told this to someone and she is still unhappy with me for saying this. So I’m hoping it works on your hatemailer….

    If you stuck with a simple bowl of ice cream for DESSERT, instead of eating a whole damn DESERT, you prolly wouldn’t be overweight.

    But then I guess those who keep reading something they clearly don’t like, probably can’t connect dots very well.

    Oh. And I’ve got that grapefruit tumor beat. (and I won’t bore you with the details) Really doesn’t bother me much at all if you wanna talk about… well, actually…whatever come to think about it.

  • http://thoughtfloss.livejournal.com Thoughtfloss

    Hey, I’m a complainer. A happy complainer. I bitch about stuff all the time. But you know what? The stuff that really ticks me off? Like Bush speeches and anything having to do with the supreme court? I don’t watch it, read it, so it won’t bother me. Maybe these people should get a clue instead of writing the internet equivalent of “you kids get off my lawn!”

  • jennifer

    holy fucking fuck-wow. i should sue for infringing on my iq, but as my brain’s just been punctured by stupid and are now dribbling out my ear and onto the floor, i have no idea where to start. so i won’t, but only say that i love when you name your suppositories and then write about them.

  • http://www.justsaying.org Susan

    I see it’s been said over and over but who the heck are these people and why do they feel compelled to read a blog they don’t like and then send hate mail? Nothing better to do? Talk about sad. I love the one that wants you to get off the internet. Like it really is a highway and you’re driving really, really slow right in front of him.

    P.S. I like hearing about Chuck and Leta and Jon and his clogs.

  • lucha

    Hey Heather, I thought you were going to provide us with the addresses of these hatemailers!

  • G-Dawg

    Crap! I gotta’ get the hang of this posting thing. (CLEARLY!) Sorry! ;-)

  • it’s in your underneath

    I guess the law of averages dictates the number of people who wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning. But what’s the likelihood that those SAME people wake up repeatedly on the wrong side AND in a pile of their own vomit AND with a big ole turd in their pants AND no recollection of how many sheep they fucked the night before??? Those people (I use this term lightly), maybe we should call them 1/2 people cause the other 1/2 is ass….anyway, THOSE people must be waking up in this manner to go out of their way to send you hate e-mails concerning your lovely personal blog. They have no love to share cause their pants are full of doody.

  • chickwithkids

    You are a jewel! Your blog is the first one I ever read. I didn’t know what the blog concept was about until I discovered Dooce!! Your enteries are captivating and hilarious. It’s funny that the very things that seem to piss some people off are the very things that keep me coming back to your site. Kids, husbands, dogs and homes….what could give more abundant writing topics? For those of us who relate to you and look forward to our daily dose of Dooce, don’t stop, don’t change.

  • Haruka

    Dear Dooce Haters:

    Fuck Off.

    Sincerely,

    Haruka, Fan of Dooce. (no matter what she talks about)

  • Rebecca

    I think it’s the repeat hatemailers that take the cake here. If you can’t stand something so much why.do.you.keep.reading.it?

  • NotYourTypicalPastorsWife

    If you hate it, why read? That’s what I wanna know. Get your own blog. Oh, maybe you have your own blog, in which case…

    On behalf of all wannabe bloggers, Dooce, please accept my apology for the nonsense. Geez. Unbelievable.

    My dad’s famous (albeit cheesy) words of advice come to mind at this moment: “Just be yourself…and if they don’t like it, let ‘em hang it in their ear.”

    And about Jon…I’ve lived a good portion of my life in Africa, and if we didn’t live in America, I’d say it sounds a whole lot like malaria. Yikes. Hope he feels better soon.

  • Urs

    i like the one from bill. gave me a chuckle.

  • Carie

    Ok.. hmmm. I didn’t read all of the other comments so this might be redundant but-
    I laughed my ass off at your commentary on the hatemail. Genius! And, really hatemailers. When you come to dooce, which is, and I hate to point this out, but it almsot seems necessary, HEATHER’S website why in the EFF would you think she would write about anything but herself? Why should she have to? It’s her damn site, love it or leave it. No one makes you click on the blog. Resist and go terrorize someone else. Morons.

  • http://www.childisborn.blogspot.com AChildIsBorn

    Wow. Haters, all of them. I get really friggin’ giddy when I get one comment on my blog. But perhaps that is preferable to reams of hatemail that seem to go hand-in-hand with a much-read site.

    Although those are some pretty funny letters. By people with way too much time on their hands, apparently.

    Go Dooce.

  • http://thehoneybunny.blogspot.com honey bunny

    what the bloody hell is a “physo ward”?? can you get your skin buffed and de-wrinkled there with PhysoDerm or something? wtf?

    oh and as a ‘obese american’, i’d like to thank all that vast, dry, lifeless desert for all these extra pounds. damn it, janet, you ain’t too bright, toots.

  • lucyintheskywithzirconium

    I am an old broad and I love reading you Heather. I am 55 and think you have the greatest sense of humor. No one comes close to you other than my other favorite, http://www.waiterrant.net. He is really good too but you have that sweet, sweet baby girl to add to the fun. Fuck em all that don’t like you. That’s always been my motto. :) :):)

  • http://aravisarwen.com Aravis

    Personally, I’m of the opinion that if you don’t like someone’s blog, you don’t need to read it. All of those people who complain that you should get a life might try practicing what they preach if they have nothing better to do with their time but repeatedly visit here and bitch.

  • Oplopanax

    Let’s face it, the hate mailers got posted on a site they read every day (apparently). So, you tell me, who is the idiot?

  • thyvo

    why do people bother reading your blog if htey hate it so much? they obviously have no lives if they spend their time reading what they hate so much.

    keeping blogging. your site cheered me up when i was depressed this week.

  • Jennifer in Ohio

    Didn’t anyone ever tell these hate mailers- what you put out comes back three-fold? Apparently not.

    And I LOVE Chuck fridays!

  • jessiker

    Once again, I am amazed at your uncanny ability to turn ignorant, thoughtless drivel into the best part of my day. Thank you. You are my hero. And I think we should all go in on “www.BillNeedsAGoodOneUpThePooper.net”, because that is freakin’ funny!

    I love reading about you and your family. I love that you are have such a passion to write about your daughter. And I’m so sorry that John is so sick. I’m thinking healthy thoughts his way.