• Sharra55

    Heather, I have been reading your blog for almost 2 years. You are a source of joy, laughter, and inspiration. I love your posts and thoughts. You are truly amazing. Thank you for letting us into your life.

  • thebeatofmyrants

    Having just endured my first (and hopefully last) bout of life-crippling depression, my heart aches to hear that the monster’s got you again.

    Take the drugs, do the the therapy, hold your hubby’s hand and “know everything’s going to be okay” when you look at Leta.

    Also know that there are thousands of people out here who mightily appreciate your bright, funny observations on life and want you to, for lack of a more elegant phrase, Get Well Soon.

  • http://http:fiveflowers.typepad.com/five_flowers fiveflowers

    Funny how a running toddler going to hug her mommy makes me cry. Mine is almost 26 months and watching Leta grow almost parallel to my girl has been a real joy. I know you have been through so much lately; but it is just so good to see your family coming together for you and holding you up, as families should do. Thanks for the cheesey music, by the way.

  • bdwriter

    Where have I been that in the nearly 25 years I’ve lived in Utah I’ve NEVER heard anyone, Mormon or other, say sunflower nuts. Quite assumptive, indeed.

    Otherwise, love the site and wish you improved health.

    BrD

  • http://www.jemima.blogspot.com jemima

    I’ve suffered from depression since high school, so I know how dark and endless the low points can be. Try to be kind to yourself. You really are a great mom and a wonderful writer, and you have a lot of people’s good thoughts supporting you. Mine especially. I know you and Jon will get through this.

  • http://www.gooseberried.com Gooseberried

    Heather Armstrong is a fantastic and talented writer. Heather Armstrong makes me laugh. Heather Armstrong is my personal role model. I love Heather Armstrong, and I don’t even know her!

  • http://thelairoftheplatypus.blogspot.com/ platypus1320

    I’ve been coming here every day for about two years and you’re the reason I started blogging and you’re the reason I have a wonderful group of blogfriends. I’m so sorry that you’re hurting and that the idiots get you down, or make things worse. You will come through this: you’re a wonderful mother to Leta and don’t ever think or let anyone tell you that you’re not. If only all kids were as lucky (or as cute!) as she is.

    Blove. x

  • kmt63

    This is my first time commenting on your blog, but I’ve been reading it for a few months now. I guess I just want to second what everyone else has been saying about how much we hope you feel better soon. I’ve gone through two serious times of deep depression and anxiety. The first happened during my first semester of college and lasted 4 months and then, horribly, it happened again during my first semester as a teacher and lasted again for 4 months. My depression was caused by extreme stress. I like to be in control and it occured when I couldn’t have felt more out of control with what was going on around me. I believe the depression would have lasted longer if I hadn’t made very big changes. It doesn’t really work for me to say, “I understand how you feel,” because I didn’t really like it when people said that to me, but I guess I just really want you to know that I sympathize.

  • rachelquoi

    ok…i guess i have yet to master the commenting-ness, sorry for doubles.

  • http://alissaclare.typepad.com/the_exciting_life_of_acs/ Alissa Szarek

    Wishing you strength through this tough time.

    I’m hoping that Andrew Bird brightened your day just a little bit, I was almost jumping for joy when I read your piece and found out you’ve discovered him.

    Honestly, he gets better every time you see him, I’ve seen him three times now (one was just a sound check and even that was amazing!).

    His songs never sound the same, but there is always that twinge of nostalgic recognition to them that makes you feel all warm inside. He is truly a genius.

    I’ve always found that music soothes my soul, hope it brings you some comfort as well.

  • stutefish

    Oh, that’s sweet. As someone who has been struggling with depression for more than a decade now, I hear where you are so clearly. “This too shall pass” feels so…empty when you’re in the middle of the shit, but it really is true. Here, have a poem: http://www.nicebutnubbly.com/2006/10/sweetness-by-stephen-dunn.html

  • http://www.noshowmo.com noshowmo

    So kind of you to share Leta with us, so brave to share yourself. You have more support from out here than you could ever know.

  • http://www.wehavebigplans.blogspot.com rebecki

    ha ha!! that is great! :) I could watch that over and over, so I can’t even begin to imagine how it must make you feel!

  • http://www.vaguelyurban.com Vaguely Urban

    Awesome. Totally, completely happiness-affirming.

    Heather, you’ve gotten through this before. You will get through it this time, too. You will.

  • http://madamemeow.typepad.com Madame M.

    Whenever you put all of yourself out there for the world to have part and parcel in your life, you are not just welcoming all the kind people, the like-mindeds, and even –I just gotta say it– the schlocky kiss-butts who love *everything* you do; you’re also, unfortunately, leaving the door open for the petty and the otiose to beat you down.

    Be strong and try to avoid dwelling on such nastiness.

  • http://typingelbow.blogspot.com typingelbow

    Dooce, I just wish we could all come over with a casserole and make it better. Please don’t hesitate to ask us if there’s anything we can do. I hope you feel better soon.

  • http://www.crazymadmomma.blogspot.com DDM

    I’m sending every good thought I have your way. They’re pretty sparse here right now too. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. Everything crossed for you that every day gets a little better.

  • http://www.lesterf4.blogspot.com lesismore

    To all the angry people I say:

    Wow, you sound really upset. You can sit in your cubby until you calm down. When you’re ready to talk to me with your regular words, you can come back.

    To you I say:

    I don’t know you, but I totally love you and your family! I’ve never been so compelled to read about/hear songs from/watch videos of a child I’ve never met. Sometimes I wish I was Leta so that I could have such a cool mom (no offense, Mom) who is also so good at storytelling. Don’t stop.

  • http://barbie2be.blogspot.com barbie2be

    she is such a pile of cuteness! you’re a lucky family.

  • http://www.respectrx.com Court@RespectRx.com

    single tear

  • http://www.feministbitch.blogspot.com feministbitch

    Hang in there, Heather. We’re all rooting for you. (Is that even how you spell that kind of rooting? makes it sound like we’re infants at your breast looking for milk…)

  • http://www.agirlandaboy.com leahkay

    Take care.

  • http://rivetergirl.blogspot.com rivetergirl

    I check your page and Bluromat every day. You guys share so much with your readers. Your honest insights into parenting and everything that goes with it is so helpful and encouraging. Thank you.

    Also know that for those of us who love you site, we care about you and wish you well.

  • http://www.jillshalvis.com/blog Jill Shalvis

    Cutest. Run. Ever.

    Oh, and you are not alone, not even close! Hugs.

  • http://k8grrl.blogspot.com K8

    Aww, thanks for sharing that. I have to admit, your Leta makes me feel the same way, and I only know her through teh internets…

    You’re a smart, strong woman. I’m glad you’re not trying to be alone in this (which is the true sign of a smart, strong woman, after all).

  • http://workman.blogspot.com Workman

    Beautiful video.

    And thanks for passing on the sunflower seed advice. I will never eat them again without feeling like a filthy whore.

  • http://sydneys_shadow.blogspot.com SydneyDawn

    Oh no, I can’t get the video to work!

    I’ve been through periods of depression in my life where I wanted to end it all, but things eventually got better. Hang in there.

  • http://myskepsi.com Amy

    That was cute – I’m so envious of your vidio technical abilities (insert pout face here).
    So can we put up nominations for the pedestrians you’re going to hit with your car? Because my lawyer should totally be on that list. In fact, you can run him over twice for good measure.

  • LisaMarie36

    Heather, I’ve been reading your site for about two years now. I look forward every day to seeing Leta’s face and hearing the adorable things that she says and does. I adore Chuck. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your site.

  • Josie

    “Lo que el artista hace por su pueblo es lo que el alma hace por el cuerpo.” Gabriela Mistral

    Translation- What the artist does for their village is that which the soul does for the body.

    Your artistry is amazing.

    Best wellness wishes.

  • SnookNSmunch

    *Big hugs for the Blurbadoocery* You know, the kind that don’t make you feel all uncomfortable, but just let you know that you are cared for.

    And in the meantime, a little bitchy clog-trashing might help, no?

    http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/10/fugio_batali.html

  • http://www.abiding.typepad.com Deb Sawyer

    I’m pulling for you too. I’ve struggled with depression my entire life. My previous way to treat it was to drink every day until I passed out. Rehab kind of ended that way of life (thankfully) so know I’m trying new things like little blue pills called Wellbutrin. They seem to be helping.

    And Leta…well, she’s amazing. Simply amazing.

  • http://00seven.deviantart.com Seven

    That video made my ovaries hurt. Leta is freakin’ adorable.

  • Ranger

    Said it at Blurbomat and am saying it here, about you two. “I like the way they write.”

    That must be what made me go back to the beginning (or as far as was possible) and read every archived word. Jon is right, you have a voice that is just so individual and pulls the reader inside. Not exactly a verbatim quote, but close.

    Courage, Mama.

  • http://sisuliz.typepad.com SisuLiz

    Thanks for being bold enough to share this. I don’t have a doubt that you’ll get through this. I love the weeble-wobble totter of Leta’s run. You made me smile a little more today.

  • http://earthmamagoddess.com Deb

    Adding my voice here to those who suffer with you due to my own fucking depression and the oncoming winter filling me with mind numbing fear of another lost season. My hopes for us both are that knowing we are not alone and what helps you may help me and vice versa. Thanks for making me laugh, even when I didn’t want to!

  • http://www.chirky.com jes

    She has a cute waddle. Kind of reminds me of Bambi.

  • Kay

    Your husband has a very kind face and your daughter is the cutest girl with the sweetest laugh; trust that your family will be your rock, and don’t forget to find the little things that put a smile on your face. Wishing all the best for you and yours.

  • Nickie

    I’m currently suffering from depression following the breakup of my marriage.

    I had a couple of ‘good’ days last week and it was such a relief, but am now back in a ‘bad’ cycle. Seeing Leta’s Forrest Gump impression gave me a few good minutes. Thank you.

    I know there’s nothing to be said that will help you get through this, but don’t forget that what you do here gives lots of people a few good minutes. And that’s pretty fucking amazing.

  • http://dooce.migrantroo.com minxlj

    Thanks for sharing the video – although I don’t suffer from depression now (I have had mild occurrences in the past) there are days when you just need cheering up, you know? Or you need a distraction from the mind-numbing boredom of work, something like that :-D And photos of your lovely Chuck, or the enigmatic Leta, do just that. They put a smile on my face, and I don’t give a shit what the dumb part of the internet thinks – I LIKE IT.

    (“Sometimes the Internet can be so dumb that it makes you want to carve your brain out with a ladle” – CLASSIC QUOTE!!!!!)

  • Ken

    Wait…As for the sunflower seeds/nuts controversy: is it really much more appropriate to be putting ‘nuts’ in your mouth?

  • butterfrei

    H –
    100% of the time I tell people who ask that I do not like children, want children, or want to be married and have a family. 90% of the time I believe it’s true.

    And yet…I come here almost every day, loving your stories and thoughts and experiences. Videos like this one kill me. It makes me smile and believe in good things. Ususally, I also cry – but that is the 10% which recognizes my own depression for the soul sucking bastardness it is and how it affects my every cynical thought.

    Don’t be hard on yourself for a bit of yelling or even mega grouchiness or anxiety. Trust me, there are far worse things for a child to experience – such as non-communicatative, chilly, unemotional, demeaning parents.

    You have created and are part of a loving family, and that makes all the difference. Leta is very happy – clearly seen in her gigling eyes and breathless “Hi Mommy” greeting. Then there are those sweet mushy nuggests peppered throughout Blurbomat. ech! It’s enough to make me green with want and belie my claims of no kids and marriage…so, give yourself a break. Be well. You deserve all your happiness and joy.

    Thanks for sharing. It makes a difference to those who love to visit here.

  • http://rascoagogo.typepad.com Sara Rasco

    Leta is dah-ling!

    Heather, the internet is totally pulling for you. At least, the literate portion of the population is… Feel free to ever so gently tap people who cross the intersection during the sliver of protected left turn time because they’re just getting what’s coming to them. Or maybe you could just hang out the window yelling, “Move bitch! Get out the way!” while someone else drives. It’s good to have options.

  • http://www.electricboogaloo.net/wordpress electricboogaloo

    Oh man, I could listen to Leta laughing all day long.

    Depression is the biggest bitch whore I have ever known. Take good care of yourself, Heather. Leta loves her mama, and she’s right.

  • Chelsea

    Heather, your eloquence and insight are often inspiring. I too am crazy about your little family. Jon and your post’s are a happy point in my day.

    I’d like to apologize for the dum dum’s out there and hope that you won’t let them have the upper hand. I know you are going through a very dark patch right now, but as many folks have already said- I’m rooting for you and I know you’ll pull through with flying colours.

  • rachelquoi

    hey dooce, been reading your page for a couple of years now but have never commented…Leta’s a beautiful kid and you’ll pull through this. some people are ridiculously dumb and that will never change, but at least most of your readership appears to be supportive. Best luck!

  • gesikah

    I know the feeling. Honestly, I don’t know which is scarier being blind-sided or experienced enough to see it coming.

    I would say that you have no idea how lucky you are to have such a gift…but I think that video pretty much proves the contrary.

    There’s not really anything anyone can say to make it all better, that much I do know. Just try like fuck not to let the Black Cloud win. <3

  • http://www.troll-baby.com Karen Rani

    Take it from someone who has been there: keep reminding yourself it will get better. You are all very lucky to have each other. Thank you for sharing your video of Leta…she’s as cute as ever!
    Karen
    xo

  • http://www.noshowmo.com noshowmo

    So kind of you to share Leta with us, so brave to share yourself. You have more support from out here than you could ever know.

  • http://alissaclare.typepad.com/the_exciting_life_of_acs/ Alissa Szarek

    Wishing you strength through this tough time.

    I’m hoping that Andrew Bird brightened your day just a little bit, I was almost jumping for joy when I read your piece and found out you’ve discovered him.

    Honestly, he gets better every time you see him, I’ve seen him three times now (one was just a sound check and even that was amazing!).

    His songs never sound the same, but there is always that twinge of nostalgic recognition to them that makes you feel all warm inside. He is truly a genius.

    I’ve always found that music soothes my soul, hope it brings you some comfort as well.