• eden

    so glad your legal battle is over. it’s a special kind of anxiety, the lawsuit and the lawyers and the hourly rate. my husband and i were sued for mowing our grass and it was wrenching. reading your site every day helped! also: alcohol, or cake or whatever. sounds like a good reason to indulge in anything you like.

  • http://imperfectsymmetry.wordpress.com/ LadyBug

    Heather, I haven’t commented in a while, but I just wanted to chime and tell you I love you and I hope you guys are able to recover from this quickly.

    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.

  • http://delectual.blogsplot.net Sarah-Jean

    I’m sorry you are going through such a rough spot. I feel your pain though… My mother tried to sue me once for medical bills she paid for when I was 16. Classy huh?

    Hang in there. *HUGS*

  • http://flailingmyarms.blogspot.com flailingmyarms

    I’d always wondered why there were so many lawyer jokes — why’d we all chosen to pick on this particular profession/facet of society.

    Then I needed to hire a lawyer.

    I completely understand feeling violated, taken advantage of, and left still just as screwed as when you started.

    I hope you heal fast. At the very least, choclate cake kicks ass — depressed or not.

  • Tim in Flyover Country

    Heather & Jon,
    Seriously, sell another Chuck Calendar or put a donation box on the site. I’m in for either a calendar or a $10 donation. Over 60 of us have commented and if we all give $10, it’s $600. It’s just a start. You are awesome parents and I enjoy your sites. Keep your chin up. We’re all going through different storms in life. Sharing our experiences help us all get through it.

    Tim

  • http://therambleroom.blogspot.com Hemlock

    Wow, Heather. So sorry to hear about this. The legal system is broken… I think we all know this.

    Chocolate cake with sprinkles on top for you, Jon and Leta.

  • http://crazyamandaworld.blogspot.com YankeeAmanda

    We’re all behind you, pulling for you, etc. It’s not always going to be like it is right now. It WILL get better.

  • ~Lorien~

    Oh, Heather. I am so sorry about all of this. I wish you had told us (your loyal readers who have grown to care about you and your family through your blogging). I’m positive there are tons of us who would have contributed to your legal battle. I mean, who likes Corporate bullies? Not us regular folks, I promise you! I hope one day you are able to share more with us so we can know who NOT to give any more of our money to.

    This too shall pass, but your faith in the legal system is probably ruined forever. Know that we all are thinking about you and praying you see smoothers times ahead. Keep your chin up!

  • http://www.katieeverybody.blogspot.com Katie

    Thanks for sharing. Glad you’re on the way out of the yuckiness.

    Dirty martinis for everyone!

    xo

  • http://fishygirl.typepad.com FishyGirl

    Oy, Heather, no wonder your soul is unhappy. Hang in there, and glad it’s mostly over.

    Eat cake til you puke.

  • http://www.blogcharm.com/mominprogress mominprogress

    Gosh where to begin. I completely understand and agree about the legal system and Lawyers. Sad thing is I’m a paralegal and work in a law office (part of the reason I hate my job). The law completely fails people most times. My hubby and I are going through some things and need an attorney who can help us in Alaska (yep I said AK) and unless I win the lottery it ain’t going to happen. Not that you or anyone else care but: http://mominprogress.wordpress.com/2006/06/28/stuck-between-a-rock-and-a-rock/ and http://mominprogress.wordpress.com/2006/06/28/stuck-between-a-rock-and-a-rock-continued/
    All that people care about anymore is freaking money. Who gives a crap about their fellow man.
    I’m sorry you guys had to go through this and I hope you and Jon both can get past and heal yourselves from this issue. And even though it doesn’t feel like it now, things will get better.
    People suck, nuff said.

  • http://stillbaking.blogspot.com suze

    I make a kick-ass vegan chocolate cake. I don’t know how well it would make the treck from ottawa to utah though…

    here’s hoping things improve…

  • echo8322

    dooce,

    i was worried about you and your family – and i’m sorry to hear about the trauma you’ve been through. it’s always shattering, coming out of a long period of extreme stress like the one you’ve just experienced – but i think you’ve got a good handle on where to start picking up the pieces. Hug Jon, hug Leta, and devour that chocolate cake. And keep writing, woman. You are truly amazing, and such a gifted writer. Nobody has the right to stop your words. I wish you could see, just once, all the smiles and laughter and joy you bring to your readers each day.

    Here’s hope for some peace at the blurbodoocery in the coming months (winter is good for cuddling and hot chocolate by the fireplace!)

    Hugs,
    sak

  • http://creatrix.blog.ca Creatrix

    There is a PayPal Donate button on the right-hand column…

  • Miss Sunni

    I hate hate hate it when the only way to win a legal case is to bring the other party to bankrupcy. An old employer of mine sued a bunch of his former employees over a contract issue and the former employees all ended up declaring bankrupcy because the lawsuit went on so long.

    However, there was a bit of karma. After it was all over the big company owner got a brain tumor and when he had it removed he lost his memory. I suppose it was his way of forgetting what a dick he had been.

    I hope the nasties that sued you get what THEY deserve.

    My thoughts go out to you and your family.

  • http://www.prozac-mommy.blogspot.com NuttyDutty

    My anxiety levels just went up reading this post. The way life deals the cards sometimes feel as though it’s all fixed.

    Whatever it is that put you in that position, as long as you feel that YOU did the right thing…that’s all that matters.

    Since the end of July my family has also been going through a debilating situation…one that we too can’t talk about it. People around me know something isn’t right, but I have to keep it all bottled up inside…which like you, isn’t me.

    The thing I have to remind myself each waking minute is that in the end the better half will prevail.

    You need to stomp your foot down and proclaim your life back…”IT” is not your life!! You have way more than that going for you.

  • jen

    I don’t know what to say, but I feel that I should say something. So- I am thinking of you… and f**k the dirty motherf**kers that are f**king with you. Eat some chocholate cake and then some more… and then tell us, your readers, what we can do to help. I keep thinking that there has got to be something. I am not a lawyer or I would offer legal help, but surely there is something.

    I am thinking of you and your wonderful family and doing my best to send as many warm wonderful.. stamp the f**kers out… energy your way. Let me know if there is more that I can do. In the mean time have some more cake and take care.

    Jen

  • http://www.startingfresh-ssfb.blogspot.com SSFB

    Ok I have two comments:
    1. After I found your blog (via that magazine article about you) you quickly climbed above every single other website I check each morning over my coffee. Countless hours of entertainment and aww at how adorable Leta is. I want to thank you for your honesty and humor. There are plenty of us out here who support you… we could stage a protest.

    1. “HOLY CRAP DOOCE you’re on wikipedia! That’s amazing!”

  • http://cloudking.com Tim Murtaugh

    You need to sell more things. Why aren’t you selling more things? My Congressman calendar is about to expire, hint hint…

  • SurprisingWoman

    Wowzers Kiddo, I am so sorry you are going through this. People suck sometimes, that’s all I have to say on that.

    I can appreciate the fact that you can recognize that the only option is being there when Lita gets up for chocolate cake. Whoot! That is such progress, you are really doing well. Take that fact and celebrate it. Yeah, with cake! And water, with ice, in a big cup, a blue cup. Yeah!

    You have many people that are rooting for you and your family.

    xoxo

    Brenda K.

  • Judy

    I DONATED $10 TO DOOCE THROUGH HER PAYPAL LINK…

    YOU SHOULD TOO :-)

  • http://www.beantowngeek.com Lisa

    That’s awful. I’m glad you made it through this though and still have your house, etc in tact.

    Chocolate cake is a very good thing!

  • http://www.jodyreale.com Jody Reale

    Legal proceedings, like secrets, are burdensome things. You’ve had to endure both, and for that, you’re entitled to more cake. And cowbell. Be well.

  • Heidi

    Heather, that sucks donkey butt! Hang in there – all of us, the minions of Blurbodoocery, are behind you 150%.

    Heidi

  • Goldielox

    You’re a wonderful and quirky kind of person! You make me smile every day. I wish you and your family well.

  • http://schmutzie.blogspot.com schmutzie

    What did they hope to get out of it?! See? Now I’m mad as hell at some unnamed corporate entity for screwing with a family that I have never actually met.

    Seriously, I’m sorry for what you’ve had to go through, and would that I could, I would will all this away for you.

  • Laurie

    Chocolate cake is good. But, when I thought I was on the verge of being sued AppleBee’s Perfect Margarita’s were even better than chocolate cake.

  • http://xdm.typepad.com Siobhan Mueller

    I know you won’t do anything to yourself because you don’t want your daughter to grow up wearing clogs. (Do you?)

    Sorry for the a-holes.

  • http://www.kungfoodie.com Kung Foodie

    OMG! WTF? I feel for you!!! I once had a small business that I ran out of my bedroom. I quickly learned that no matter how hard you try to keep your butt and your nose wiped clean someone will come along to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, and that they deserve $$$ served up on a platter because of it.

    I know it doesn’t make it any easier, but just remember that you’re not alone.

  • http://www.jillmurray.com Jill Murray

    Cake doesn’t go in the mail well, but I’m working on it. Maybe a cupcake could work?

    I didn’t know you could be sued for NOT signing a contract. I thought contracts were for outling all the things you could be sued for AFTER signing it.

    Please move to Canada. You can snowboard here, we have cake, and it’s a lot harder to sue people. We will take care of you well if I have a say in it.

    Failing that, I hope you can get them back somehow.

  • http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com Michelle-fostadoptmom

    I was once royally screwed by an ex-mormom bishop. Since he had lots of friends in high places all I could do was spend a bunch of cash trying to regain my cash. The system works best for those with the money honey. Sorry for you. Your best revenge is writing about it and letting it go.

  • http://www.healthyornot.blogs.com Adventures in Hypochondria

    Ummm…chocolate cake. Makes me think of that show “Kate & Allie”…they were onto something with the whole “there’s-no-better-way-to-work-through-the-day’s-problems-than -with-chocolate-cake” thing.

  • Gecka

    Damnit, you rock and bring a smile to my face with your quirky writings. Hopefully us internets can bring your smile back for all those that you gave out.

    I ran across this recipe today and you definitly deserve some delicious and decadent cake.

    Molten Chocolate Cake
    http://community.livejournal.com/food_porn/2922373.html

  • HeySenorita

    Oh no. What a horrible past few months this must have been. Nothing causes stress like the threat of financial ruin. I’m sorry that you’ve had to keep silent, when as a writer, WRITING is your outlet.
    I hope the fog begins to finally lift. Add me to the chorus of the millions of us who wish you, John and Leta happiness, health and healing.

  • Emily

    One more thought…..

    Even if you lost everything, the one thing that could not be replaced is YOU!!! Houses and big screen tvs can be bought again, but never a wife or a mom or a friend.

    My dad spent years and lots of money fixing up his old house, only to have an upstream damn break THE DAY HE WAS CELEBRATING IT ALL BEING DONE. The contents of the creek ended up in his kitchen, nearly destroying the whole house. He learned after that to never get attached to material things. Those bastards can take away money (and stuff), but can never get at what’s important.

    YOU ARE IRREPLACEABLE!!! HANG IN THERE!

  • bellabugs_mom

    Delurking to wish you well. I know that words can be a great comfort but still leave us helpless at times. That is why I too am going to click your ads. I wish I could donate, but currently I am waiting on Friday’s paycheck just so I can buy some shampoo. A true luxury when you’ve been using dish soap to get buy for a week.

    Two tears in a bucket… FUCK IT.

  • Shyun

    Heather,

    So, so sorry for what’s going on. Glad to hear it is resolved. I know you guys will find the way to get past it. Your pic of Jon today was wonderful. You guys are so lucky to have eachother and to have Leta. I know there are days that my hubby and two babies are the only things that keep me going. Just want to say that I look forward to and appreciate your blog so much. Thanks, Thanks, Thanks.

  • Kath :-)

    So very very sorry Heather. Can’t imagine what your precious family has gone thru. I know you don’t know me at all…you don’t know most of us I would guess…but if there is ANYTHING I can do to help, please ask.

    Or if you just want good thoughts, honey, you got ‘em.

  • http://sweetjuniper.blogspot.com dutch

    Settlement is like waking up with the worst hangover you’ve ever had on one of those brilliant, warm and sunny fall days that you know you should be enjoying. there’s nothing that can make you feel any better about it, but at least you’re no longer paying lawyers. Every settling litigant should be handed a balloon full of nitris oxide and shuffled out of the room as soon as the papers are signed. If I ever practice law again, I’ll make sure to include that service in my hourly fee.

  • http://www.retrodiva.net/blog Tracy Collins

    i’m being sued now too – mercifully, they are in boston and i am in washington state…so i just hid from the processor servers…that’s been working nicely for me since april or so…too bad everyone knows you are in utah…

    and i would so totally donate to your defense fund, if there were such a thing…because lawyers are minions of satan on earth :)

    get yourself a big ole slab of cake…

  • NotWithoutArt.com

    The legal system is illogical – there is no rationale, no fairness, no humanity – it is run by LAWYERS for gods sake.

    Please know that even if you and Jon had lost everything material – the beautiful home you share with Leta and everything that fills it – you would still be rich with all the things that matter in life. And it is true that these trials, these life lessons make us stronger – because they make us understand that security isn’t about our bank accounts or our stock holdings. Security is about the people we love and who love us in return.

    In October 1999 my husband was injured at work and rendered disabled with cognitive brain damage. It felt like the end of the world initially but what we faced medically was nothing compared to dealing with the legal system to get him the cognitive therapy he needed. It was/is humiliating, degrading and scars you deeply. But the entire nightmare, as well as the permanent after effects, has made us understand that there is nothing and no one out there that can take what matters from us.

  • http://www.coloredred.com ColoredRed

    Sounds like you need some really good chocolate cake. My advice to you is to buy a box of Hershey’s Cocoa Powder and follow the recipe for their “Perfectly Chocolate” chocolate cake and frosting. It’s not possible to be sad while eating this cake.

  • http://www.jessiferseabs.blogspot.com jessiferseabs

    Heather, I’ve been reading your site for about a year and a half now and have never felt it necessary to comment until now.

    First of all, I’m so sorry that you and your family have had to go through this. Sadly, I think this is the price of public life, and I think it’s awful and unfair. Unfortunately we live in a society of very little personal accountability where people always feel the need to blame others for their problems… it seems that somebody has decided to make you responsible for their issues, and that’s unfair.

    Second, somebody recommended the “Juice for Dooce” account, and I have to second that recommendation. I’m sure you’d get a lot of negative feedback from “the haters,” but those of us who love you and count on your site for a little bit of humor and wit every single day would GLADLY donate money to repay you for all you’ve given us.

    Thirdly, I think that one of the biggest differences between those who suffer from depression and those who don’t, is the inability of those who DON’T suffer from depression to ever understand the “it would just be better for everybody else if I wasn’t here” mentality.

    Rest assured that it would not be better for ANYBODY — ANYBODY — if you weren’t here. Especially the husband and daughter and dog who ADORE you.

    Love,
    Jessica

  • s2lrbarn

    I was sued and dealt with lawyers, court appearances, depositions, mediation, etc. for two years after my Mom died. Since then, I have advised all of my friends to stay away from lawyers and courts at any cost. In hindsight, I wish I had settled and saved the enormous amount of money I ended up paying lawyers. (Not to mention the time I lost and panic attacks I had.) My advice is to take a good shower, enjoy your family, don’t take it personally because A LOT of people get sued, and, most importantly, help someone avoid what you went through. It will make you feel better.

  • Jezzie

    psst..y’all, you can donate to Heather thru paypal to the right of the post. Pass it on.

  • http://rancidraves.blogspot.com cagey

    Wow. Glad everything worked out. So to speak.

    I do know how you feel. When I began dating my now husband, he was dealing with a huge, multi-million lawsuit himself at the hands of Giant Corporate Consulting Firm With Huge Pockets. Needless to say, my husband’s pockets weren’t so big {insert dirty joke here}.

  • Emily

    VERY sorry to hear about this.

    Karma is a bitch and they’ll get theirs.

    This is a disturbing story on many levels, but primarily what it’s done to you and what it says about our country.

    Of course we’re all curious on the details, but beyond that what does this all mean for blogs, and freedom of speech, and whatever else was involved? What does it all mean?

    You do SO much for so many by going out on a limb on this website. We’d hate to lose you to the writing world. Maybe a private website is the way to go…Join, etc. (of course assuming any of this is about the blog, which I’m sure it is….)

    WE LOVE YOU HEATHER!!!!!! and Leta and Jon! You’re like family to us! :)

  • bellybuttonbugs

    For some reason when I read your post I envisaged writing a letter to the unknown money grabbing b*stards along the lines of ‘The Young Ones’

    It started something along the lines of this:

    Dear Fascist Bully-Boy
    GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY YOU &%^$£!*&%$ing B*STARDS!

    It won’t bring back the money or get rid of the stress of the past few months, but it might just give you some satisfaction and make you feel just that little bit better.

    Whatever you do, just don’t mail it to them.

  • girlhappy

    I’ve been a fan for awhile, but your post today prompted me to finally make a comment, which is simply this: hang in there. You’ve already persevered through all of this ugliness. Your writing and humor carry me through many a dull afternoon at work, and as a mother of a daughter a month younger than Leta, it’s always refreshing to hear of and laugh about other adventures in parenthood.

    You’re very much loved by many, and I’m sorry that you’ve been subjected to this.

  • Ariel

    Aha. So that’s why I’ve been getting so many referral searches for “heather armstrong sued” and “dooce being sued” and “blurbodoocery suit” in my referral logs this morning. Good to know that the suit has been settled — WHEW.