• ~Lorien~

    Thanks Veep, never would have found those links had you not told me.

  • http://www.moyamedia.com Mo

    In the vein of stupid people’s stupid lawsuits, here’s a Weird Al song!

    I sued Taco Bell, ’cause I hate half a million chalupas and I got fat
    I sued Panasonic — they never said I shouldn’t use their microwave to dry off my cat
    I sued EarthLink, ’cause I called ‘em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold
    I sued Starbucks, ’cause I spilled a Frappuccino in my lap and brr, it was cold

    And so on. I just realized posting novelty song lyrics is scant comfort to someone in your situation. Can’t blame a guy for trying, I guess.

  • http://rascoagogo.typepad.com rascoagogo

    That sucks and I’m sorry you guys have had to go through it. Injustice is frustrating and demoralizing, but not being able to shout from the rooftops about the wrong that is being done makes it far worse. Now I’m flat out terrified of all sorts of contracts.

    Been there on a smaller, not losing the house scale and it sucked. I keep telling myself reaping what you sow slash karma will come back to bite someone hardcore. A line from the book Three Martini Playdates sticks with me about how some people should be doomed to a hell full of eternally collicky babies. It’s a pleasant, yoga-like meditation…

  • http://jianantonic.livejournal.com jianantonic

    I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and rooting for you, for what it’s worth.

  • Dmom

    I feel so bad for your family having to go through this, remember to lean on eachother and that everything happens for a reason.
    Just in case it helps, I want to tell you that I’ve read your blog eversince I had postpartum depression and wanted to leave my family in a most dramatic fashion. I’ve also told all of the women in my family about you and we all read and care about what you have to say. Your thoughts and opinions matter to us and sometimes even inspire us. Please keep at it.
    Besides that, I’d love to make you a chocolate cake, you know, the kind they used to make when they thought butter and sugar were healthy and the only chocolate around was the really really good kind.
    Love and suppport from a perfect stranger, Dawn.

  • http://www.pixie-sticks.blogspot.com pixie sticks

    I’m going to go click on a whole bunch of your ad links now. Hope it helps.

  • http://www.troll-baby.com Karen Rani

    So very sorry that happened to you. My goodness. I can’t help but look at Jon’s picture today and the one of you in his Flickr account and know that at different times, both of you have enough love and strength to carry the other through times like this. Eat your cake…

  • http://www.jencantwell.vox.com Jen T.

    I hope you’ll find a healthy way to keep going – I’m here every day for the laughs & the insight … you speak for many less eloquent than yourself.

  • wenhaver

    Heather, best wishes to you and yours in picking up the pieces. Kind of makes me glad that I left law school before they could kick me out.

    Also, everyone who wants to donate… there’s a teeny-tiny wee little donate section on the right-hand side, under the Gooooooogle ads. I’d donate myself, but we’re so po’ right now, we can’t afford the rest of the word.

  • Veep

    I think this needs to be mentioned every ten comments:
    There is a tiny “donate” option at the bottom of the right column.
    I think we should all use it to make our appreciation spendable.

    Juice for Dooce!

  • http://www.sweetjuniper.blogspot.com Wood

    I’m glad you wrote about this. I hope it helps you heal and move on. Our thoughts are with you and Jon.

  • thejoyof

    “…But unlike two years ago I can actually see how idiotic thoughts like those are.”

    I am so glad to read that.

  • http://modadimagno.blogspot.com/ FashMags

    Dooce Loving Peeps:

    For my birthday I left a donation in the Paypal Jar for the Armstrong Legal Defense Fund (my name for it) – if I could share my birthday cake with the Dooce fan community I would. So enjoy some virtual cake, and send some real support to our favorite girl.


  • http://redwhineandboo.typepad.com/red_whine_and_boo/ Redsmama

    I own brass knuckles if you ever have a need for them. Sending you love at this hard time.

  • http://www.karmadoodle.wordpress.com Karen Mashek

    I haven’t read a single comment…
    I will in a minute once I’ve said my bit!
    I f@$#%^g hate, despise, LOATHE that this society is a “sue-you-first-before-you-sue-me” one or even a “Ooooh I can make some money and destroy someone/something here so why not?” one too…It makes the bile rise in my throat to think I might even well end up a victim one day like you (because I have a headstrong, feisty character and my mother predicted it would get me into trouble one day)!! I feel so outraged for you and so upset.
    That you can’t even exercise freedom of speech is terrible in itself as this is your sanctuary here, your blog, your means of exorcising your feelings/emotions is it not? Oh maybe not cuz now you’re too famous so you have to zip it…
    I’m so sorry and hope you can come out it with some dignity intact.

    BTW My husband, 3 yr old and I will be moving to UTAH in March. Frankly I am dreading it – Mormons, no chocolate, no coffee, no alcohol, polygamy, cult attitudes (!) ….people have filled my head with that kind of stuff…Knowing you come from there makes me feel optimistic in that not all people there are going to hate me for being me !! Oh and please tell me which neighbourhoods not to look for a home in…Ta !

    Keep your chin up!

  • trinny

    Bloody hell!!!!

    Poor you, no wonder you’ve been feeling crap. I make an excellent choccie cake… but I don’t think it would survive the trip from Oz…

    Hang in there Heather (and Jon) – you seriously make my day, I love reading your blog and looking at your photos.

    Big companies totally suck – they just want publicity from your coolness! :)

    Take it easy honey … we are all here for you and would do whatever we could to help.


  • jessy

    no, being sued is not like being raped. being raped is like being raped, and being sued is like one big, giant hassle that sucks but is very much different than being raped. what’s wrong with you people?

  • mskilgore

    Uh, Lawgoddess? I read the complaint, too, and since I’m an actual honest-to-God “gets paid for it” lawyer, please let me tell you that Kensington’s complaint was on the money.

    Here’s a hypo for you, honey, since you can’t seem to make this objective: oral negotiations between two parties in order to come to an agreement on specific terms of a contract occur. The representative of one of the parties assures the representative of the other that the contract is fine, it meets all expectations, and it will be signed (I am assuming that you understand that a representative for both parties will be considered an agent of that party, and that they therefore assume liability for any agreements the agent makes). All of this is memorialized in writing.

    Then, the rep of one of the parties informs the other party that they intend to breach the contract for which they have negotiated. Money has been spent in anticipation of this contract (also known as detrimental reliance). The person breaching the oral contract cannot provide any reasonable explanation for the breach other than: 1) the editor left; and 2) they did not receive enough “support” from the company and it was “nerve-wracking.”

    You don’t see a cause of action there? Is your law school accredited?

  • http://www.noappropriatebehavior.blogspot.com capello

    Hello, you didn’t sign anything therefore no obligation. What fuckers. And what a fucking worthless legal system.

    I won’t even pretend to understand what you’ve been through, but it must have been awful and diffcult and I’m sorry you and Jon had to endure that.

    Go eat some chocolate cake. With chocolate icing. And some sort of ice cream. And fudge sauce. And M&M’s. And caramel sauce. And maybe a few gummy worms too.

  • Lawgoddess618

    To Heather and family,

    I am coming out of lurking mode to say how sorry I am for what you and your family have been through. This lawsuit (I just read the complaint) is ridiculous. Kensington is just pissed off because they know how good you are and they can’t have you. So they have to act like a bunch of douches and sue you. Terrible. I am a law student and I even think this case is crazy.

    Anyway, know how many loyal readers you have. You help get me through boring law school classes everyday. I thank you for that!

    Also know that I will be boycotting their books and I will be telling all of my loyal dooce-reader friends (there are a lot of us) to do the same.

    Good luck getting through the healing stage!

  • KidLitLib

    How to send comfort to a complete stranger?

    Laughing, exercise and company are all good for stress.
    Have you been out to your public library recently? Maybe a day trip, with a side-trip for chocolate cake.

    Here are some suggestions for your next family reading session on the couch.

    Walter the Farting Dog – Kostwinkle, Murray & Colman
    Something from Nothing – Phoebe Gilman
    Franklin in the Dark – Bourgeois & Clark
    Catwings – Ursula LeGuin

  • http://www.midwestgeek.net Jason

    A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships. – Helen Keller

    Keep the chin up Dooce!

  • heather j

    Thanks Colleen, I too am nosey and what Heather wrote made me steaming mad.

    I’ve never taken kindly to bullies, and arrogant corporate types are the worst.

    I hope their books sales go down the toilet.

    Hang in there Heather–we have your back. To prove it, I would like to second, the idea to donate to the Heather should not be bullied fund.

  • Sarah

    I am very sorry to hear you have been going through such a hard time. Thankfully tomorrow is a new day with new promises and you have a wonderful supportive family. You’re in my thoughts and prayers!

  • http://www.supersimbo.blogspot.com supersimbo


    that sucks………………freakin big time scum bags think they can play God with the ordinary persons life!! B@stards!!

  • MommyofOne

    Thanks Colleen. I’m retarded.

    Going to go eat chocolate covered worms now.

  • tenjin

    Hi, hang in there.

    Enjoy your family, enjoy each new day, be happy. You give a lot of people a lot of joy with your writing, and something that great has got to put a smile on your face even in the face of all the legal hassles.


  • Yellowmug

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I am so angry for you and it affirms my hatred for so many things in this world.

    PS I can’t wait to see your cookie-cake-candy dessert to take away the pain. It’s gotta be even better than the beach towel in the sewer pipe dessert!

  • http://www.trainwrecks.net/doocecomplaint.pdf Alison


    Perhaps some of the trollers who appear regularly on here and in Heather’s inbox, could put their skills to good use for once, and actually e mail this guy with their colourful use of English? An outlet to vent all your frustrations, and what’s more people will love you! Furthermore, copy somewhere in blogosphere, so we can all pick it up via Technorati, a Google blog search.

    From a legal viewpoint, there is so much I could say about that complaint. I have one question, if an “oral agreement” was sufficient to be legally binding, why bother to take months to piss around with a written contract? Why not just go ahead with just an oral agreement then? The logic defies me. This one is on the corporation, it didn’t treat a client well, and they went. If you are going to work with someone, simple logic states that you treat them well.

    As for Heather having no intention from the outset, so she visits her attorney for fun?

    Kensington threw its rattle out of its pram, simply on the basis they knew Heather rocked and what they were missing. Heather, don’t forget that. They failed to deliver on a customer service, and because of their own shortcomings, they projected it on you.

    In your own time, if you do publish, I’ll be buying. However, your health and the health of your family comes first … take time to look after it.

  • http://www.gooseberried.com Gooseberried


    I’m so sorry! I didn’t know about this at all or else I would have done something sooner. I know it’s not much, but I donated a small amount of money to help pay for any legal fees, website fees or chocolate cake fees. Sorry I couldn’t have donated more; I am but a mere college student living off Ramen and Mac and Cheese. Please hang in there and let me or any of your devoted fans know if there’s anything we can do! Love your site always and always!


  • Kathy

    I’m also delurking to offer cake.

    Thank you, Colleen, for the info. After reading it, I just have to say: wow. They suck.

    Hang in there Heather and Jon. You’ll come out on top.

  • Colleen

    Yikes! I’m so sorry this happened to you. Good luck to you guys. You all deserve the best.

    PS-for those who are nosey like me I found the story & legal document through google news.

  • kimbo

    I am so sorry to hear about your recnt legal difficulties, and I hope everything is smooth sailing now that it’s settled. I’ve had some legal troubles myself, and it feels like an inescapable blackhole of misery and fear; like you’re a fly pinned to the table by a knifeblade. No fun, for sure.

    Also, do not blame yourself because other people are assholic bastards. How is it even POSSIBLE to be sued for not signing a contract and for writing a diary, on-line status notwithstanding?? Mystifying shitfest, that’s what that is.

    Best wishes to you and your family.

  • chefgirl

    Obviously nobody means any harm with their wild speculations about who the plaintiff is. That said, however, I would stop starting or discussing rumors about it being a particular camera manufacturer. I think Heather has enough legal trouble to deal with without risking any more.

  • joolieblue

    I’m so sorry. Being sued is like being raped. It makes you feel powerless and angry and scared and panicked and everything that goes with that. I hope there is light at the end of that tunnel, and am so sorry you’ve had to endure this without writing about it until now. I lost my faith in the judicial system during my divorce, and then it was confirmed when an a-hole landlord pulled a stunt and got a lot of money from me. Here’s hoping that the Karma Fairy sprinkles her dust on those who did the right thing. That dust does tend to settle in the places it should….eventually!

  • Katie.P

    Oh Heather. Big BIG hugs.

  • Allison

    I read a comment about a reader seeing you and Leta in an airport. I must confess I would run screaming to you and fall on my knees in worship, like the groupie I am, if I saw you in an airport.

    I appreciate your honesty with your depression, motherhood, etc. I hope, hope, hope that whatever awfulness has been in your life soon passes because you are awesome and make a lot of people’s day a little brighter.

  • http://www.billygean.co.uk Billygean.co.uk

    Shite I feel bad for being a lawyer now.

    Hugs and support, and chocolate cake. And we’re not all shits.

    I *heart* your site.

  • http://misstraceynolan.blogspot.com/ misstraceynolan

    Chocolate Cake. With pink icing. With the words “I talk about my feelings” on it.

  • Alison

    Boycott books by Kensington Publishing Corp. *I* said that not Heather, before a corporation starts to get more funny ideas.

  • elle

    Oh no! I am so sorry that you all had to go through this. The feelings of powerlessness must have been overwhelming.

    I know that you may never be able to talk about it, but if you do you know you will have the support of your readers. I just sent you a donation via Paypal but if I had known you were going through this I would have donated sooner!

    I hope you can find a way to get rid of the residue that comes with dealing with mean people. Chocolate cake should be a nice start!

  • http://www.helenjane.com helenjane

    I definitely need to send the Armstrongs some booze…

    P.S. We’ve entered you in our good vibe machine.

  • MommyofOne

    OMG. Is it the camera company? I know that the top of the page used to say which camera you used, then one day the brand name was removed. I would have considered purchasing one of their cameras because of the quality of pictures you take. Free advertising for them. However, if they are the ones who did this to you, #@%* them. I will never buy one of their products. Ever. Not that you can, or want to, reveal that.

  • http://www.divinereality.com Megan Garnhum

    Hang in there. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You are your family deserve so much more.

  • http://electrolicious.com Ariel

    It is amusing me to no end to watch the various theories unfold via my search results. Now my blog is getting dozens hits for “heather armstong sued by nikon.”

    Dear world: I’m thinking that researching this suit is going to take more legwork than just googling and finding my (totally unrelated) website.

  • jen

    so, you can’t point fingers. BUT… if we (your loyal doocebags) were to hear something about who was “puttin’ baby in a corner” so to speak, what could said doocebags do to make you feel better? Say the word, send a newsletter. We are here to do your bidding.

    Oh, and the Chuck 07 calendar? Great money raising idea. Don’t lose your house; call on your supporters. We’re more than faceless masses. We’re web savvy nerds with resources!


  • http://imptemotion.livejournal.com/ Hamle Elme

    I don’t have extra money to donate.

    Nor do I have a way to send chocolate cake.

    I do have fingers, though.

    I will make a conscious effort to click as many ads I can every time I come to this site.

    I am so sorry to hear that you and your family have been put through this, Heather. Please, don’t blame yourself. I don’t know the details, but I can’t help but think that you had no idea that not signing that contract would lead to such a fiasco. I think that anyone who doesn’t understand our fucked up legal system as well as those who created/run it would probably make the same mistake. It scares me, too, because I’m about as ignorant as they come when shit like that is involved.

    I really don’t think that what that compandy did to you is fair, and if you’re ever able to disclose information about it so we can stop supporting them, please do!

    Sorry this comment is so long. I’m just trying to make sure I have all my thoughts down so I don’t end up posting multiple times like I did yesterday.

    Huge hugs to you, Jon, and Leta!


  • http://rightbrainedgal.typepad.com Sugarsnap

    I meant to say exude compassion instead of hatred.

  • http://pioneerwoman.blogspot.com Pioneer Woman

    Being involved in a civil suit is one of the most grueling experiences a family can have. I have no faith in the system, either, and I hate—as much as I can hate anything—attorneys and the sport that they make of everyone’s lives. It’s all a game—an evil game—and the options are seldom good for the defendant.

    I’m sorry. It will get better, but that sick feeling in your stomach will stay there for a long time.

  • http://rightbrainedgal.typepad.com Sugarsnap

    I am not surprised that the little guy gets dinged. In a country run by zillionaires, for zillionaires, the middle class is always in fear of loosing their house to the big guy. No offense, but in the last six years this Administration has done nothing for the middle class and everything for corporations and fat cats.

    I am divorced from an attorney and I can honestly say that this profession breeds morally deficient, greedy, self-serving scum. My daughter has recently become an attorney and I am hopeful that my genes have diluted the gene pool and she doesn’t turn out like her father.

    My thoughts go out to you and your family as I know how it feels to be violated by the legal system. You just have to hang in there and be thankful for the hundreds of people who are here to support you. You must be doing something right. There is one big collective hug going on here.

    Maybe, just maybe, the election in November will bring about some change and help us to elude compassion instead of hatred.