While the family watches a crappy game show

“Oh my God, did you just–”

“Dude, you wrote about this on your website. I don’t see why my doing this is a big deal.”

“I was sure that you considered what I say about you on my website to be an exaggeration, GEORGE! You doing that again makes what I wrote seem like a gross understatement.”

“You wanna see something gross–”