• http://www.nudle.typepad.com Carol

    The woman who wrote that vitriol about your house deserves to be spanked and have her computer taken away.

    You’re doing the right thing by being patient with Leta. Keep on, it’ll be okay.

  • Jeff

    Nobody knows a child better than their own parent. If you sense she’s not ready, she’s not.

    And nobody thinks they know someone else’s child better than some broad who takes the time to tell you how great her own children are, when, in fact, they are most likely horrific little mutants.

    Trust your instincts.

  • farmer_daughter

    Have you tried having reading “pow wows” in the bathroom? Instead of always reading on the couch, move to the bathroom for a few minutes a day. It will be something new but she is still doing things she likes while not feeling pressured. It worked with moving the toys onto your bed.

    It may not work right away, but she may become more comfortable with the bathroom. She may even get to the point where she may have to read to go. Let’s just hope you have 2 bathrooms, one bathroom for you and Jon and one for Leta to take 30 minutes to go!

  • http://www.honest-planet.com Jen S

    First of all, people really need to mind their own business. What a complete and total BEEYATCH that lady is!

    My son is 4 1/2, and he became potty trained about a year ago. We started earlier than that, because I naively thought to myself, “I will toilet train my kid when I’M ready!” He was “pee trained” pretty early — about 2 1/2 — but the poop? The poop was another issue entirely. He, too, would hold it until he could hold it no longer, refusing to go no matter how much I pleaded and begged and tried to bribe. I was just about to go back to diapers, when suddenly, like magic — *poof!* (or should I say “poop!”) — he began to go on his own. One day I walked by the bathroom and found him sitting on the toilet (of his own accord!) and he happily crowed, “Mama! I went poopoo by myself!” And we’ve never looked back.

    My daughter is almost 2, and I have no intentions of trying to push potty training on this one. The hell I went through with my son SUCKED ASS.

    Best of luck.

  • throwingutah

    My son was born two months before Leta. We’re just now finishing up with potty training, and that’s without any big traumas. I tried to actively encourage pottying over the summer, with a resounding lack of interest. Last month, *bink* he decided to do it. He got moved into the next-older class at his preschool (where everyone else is PT’d) and that was apparently all it took.

    Couple thoughts:
    -Since you’re home with backup, why not let Leta run around bottomless/in big-girl underpants? It’d let her know what bodily functions are associated with which sensations. I doubt she’ll mind going without pants, and you’ll avoid cross-contamination that could lead to more UTIs.
    -Kids’N'Pets. Target sells it (with the floor cleaning stuff), and it’ll be your best friend during the process.
    -If she does get another UTI, get a cup of warm water and pour it over her parts while she pees. I remember my mom doing that for me when I was little, and it helps.
    -Being around her peer group more might help with willingness to use the potty.
    Good luck!

  • karabeth

    What a self-righteous bitch that woman is. Sometimes I am utterly astonished at how careless people are with other people’s feelings. I have no children myself, but it seems like you have exactly the right attitude with potty-training. She’ll be ready when she’s ready.

    On a personal note, I truly enjoy your site and I’ve managed to get many of my coworkers addicted to it. I’ve been caught more than once giggling and snorting like a fool in my cubicle, tears streaming down my face. Keep up the fantastic work!

  • http://www.leality.wordpress.com leahbee

    I know this is totally not the same thing, but a girl once went out of her way at school to inform me that she thought the bumper stickers on my car were “stupid.”

    Don’t you just love how other people think their opinion should matter?

    And, like everyone’s already said, She don’t know shit about Leta. Literally.

  • http://www.shancy.net Shancy

    Heather & Leta,
    My youngest daughter had the same issue. The first time she pooped on the toilet the water splashed up and hit her tooshie. That FUH-REAKED her out and from that point on we were lucky if she pooped once a week. We also had to do the laxatives and enemas. This lasted for about a year. Then finally she was ready to do it and she was trained. However she was almost 4 years old. Don’t give up hope, Leta will tell you when she’s ready. And just so you know, Hannah is now 8 years old and she takes the biggest craps I’ve ever seen come out of a child. Why? Because she still holds it for a few days. It’s like brewing a stew I guess. You gotta let it simmer before it’s perfect. Just keep your chin up and know you are doing all you can do and that you are a great mom! And the day she poops in the toilet and tells you, quoting my daughter, “Look, it’s a daddy sized poop!” you’ll be so proud!

  • noodlestein

    Mmm, I was thinking maybe some positive reinforcement? What food/candy/(gasp)licorice does Leta like best? Every time she poops or pees – stuff her full of it. Shameless bribery? Fuck yes! Whatever works to make her mindset a little less stressed about the whole thing.

    Regardless of what you do, I know you will accomplish it with the same humor and skill that you show us daily. Lucky Leta.

  • K2theB

    A. Catherine is a beoch.
    B. You are doing everything just right. It will happen when she is ready and not a moment sooner. You only risk traumatizing her further by pushing the issue.
    C. It’s like learning to walk. We don’t get upset when they fall down whilst learning. We keep encouraging. That’s all you can do.
    D. When she’s ready or you’d like to encourage her to get ready – Potty Party. Get Elmo, some party hats and it’s on. It’s a Phil McGraw suggestion. Worked for my neice who is VERY similar to Leta. I have stories!
    E. Catherine is still a beoch.

  • Gretchie

    Chick, I love your style. This Catherine needs to chill out. I sit here looking at dooce.com everyday, and I see those pictures and I wish my house looked that well put together. I keep my house very clean too, but it looks very boring and lacks character. Catherine, I’m glad your house works for your family. Heather’s home works for her family… and…. my boring, characterless home works for ours. So, you know, SUCK IT.

    As for potty training… first off, I hope Leta feels better soon. That’s a lot of trauma for one little girl. We had to collect a urine sample from my daughter when she was year old via catherter. IT WAS AWFUL. Poor baby. Fortunatley, they also put her on an IV later that day, so she forgot all about the catheter. She had pneumonia. Ick. Anyway, here’s what I think about potty training: What is the mad rush to chase after a child with a teacup bladder and no diaper? Diapers are GREAT! My mom, who used to work as a social worker in a pediatric ward and has a masters in child psychology puts it this way: even retarded children learn to use the potty during their toddler years. If your child has normal intelligence, you have nothing to worry about. If your kid gets at 2 years, great. If not, so what? They’ll get it eventually.

    You’re doing a great job as a mommy. And Catherine is a lucky girl to have such a “perfect” home and “perfect” 2 year old.

  • http://jenandandrew.blogspot.com jennifer_starfall

    i’m not a mom, but i know the cardinal rule of motherhood: thou shalt not criticize other moms (unless they’re like, beating their kids with spiked garden implements or something) because it is HARD being a mom, and everyone has to do it their own way.

    tell leta that i peed my pants laughing over “hot rotten vegetable fart,” so she’s not alone.

    and hang in there. you and jon are the only people who know what’s best for leta.

  • http://lepistol.org kristen

    Yes, this is one of those posts that Leta will read when she’s 15 and go, “Dear Lord, Mother, WHY?!”

  • charliegirl118

    I read your blog everyday and most everyday don’t agree with what you have to say but I don’t criticize because as everyone has reiterated we all have our own parenting styles. Some of us just choose not to subject some things to our children that we feel are not right while others have a different mindset. That’s where we differ. Some of the things that I feel you have subjected Leta to are awful in my opinion and I couldn’t imagine doing that to my daughter but then that’s me.

    On the current topic though……my daughter is 2 yrs 7 mo and has the same pooping problems as Leta. It is very heartbreaking. I cry when she tries and tries to push it out after refusing to go for 7 days and she is so constipated. She has been this way since she was 3 weeks old. It has been a very long time and we have tried it all. My daughter loves prune juice more then chocolate milk (as most kids her age love!!) We too have tried the mild children’s laxative and sometimes it works great other times it doesn’t. She gets enemas; she’s been put in the hospital before for it; had UTI’s; you just run out of things to do sometimes. BUT, I feel we can’t just stop her life and sit and wait, we can still potty train at least with peeing on the potty. So, she has been peeing on the potty since November, she sleeps all night dry, but when she poops, she does it in her pants no matter how much encouragement we give to go on the potty, therefore leaving us in pull-ups as we continue to work on this issue.

    Like I said, I am not going to criticize you for what you have to chosen is right for you and Leta but please don’t use the all the excuses that she can’t be potty trained because of all the things that have happened to her lately – that is just a line of more excuses. It can be done, it just depends on if the parents are willing to do it or not. What’s even harder for me with this whole potty training issue is that I suffer from a mild case of OCD and the thought of my daughter having to use a public restroom just makes me literally sick to my stomach. For that reason I am willing to change her diapers for the rest of my life but is that developmentally right for her? No, so I must grin and bear it and carry a crap load of sanitizer on me all the time because it isn’t about me but about her.

  • Molly

    Oh my gosh, Heather: reading about Leta’s struggles brings me back to when I was a little girl, and I battled horrible, chronic UTIs until about age 4 when, thankfully, I seemed to grow out of the problem. Probably not surprisingly, I, too, was a little on the late side when it came to being toilet trained, which I have no doubt was related to all the difficulties I had in that department. And, I know it’s hard to believe, but, despite having been a devoted diaper-ee well into toddlerhood I’ve actually managed to become a vibrant and productive member of society…I’m sure that mother who emailed you would be shocked to hear that, but I can assure you it’s true! Particularly as someone who isn’t a mother yet, I’m pretty annoyed at the tone of her email…you’d think, being a mother herself, she’d have figured out by now that all kids develop differently and at their very own speed…and I’m sure Leta will, too. I just wish for both of you that her bathroom troubles weren’t causing her so much discomfort: I’m sure it’s one of the toughest things to know what that pain is like (as all of us who’ve had a UTI or ever been constipated know!) and then trying like the dickens to comfort her… Hang in there: it’s bound to get better!

  • cgilsonleahy

    I’m living this hell with my 2-year-old daughter who will only eliminate after being fed massive quantities of Miralax. Stopping dairy has helped immensely but I’m worried about the laxative losing effectiveness (not to mention I’m going to have to fight with my insurance company about paying for the quantity I need to use). I haven’t even begun to think about potty training, I just can’t even go there yet. Giving her an enema, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, it is a terrible, terrible feeling. My husband and I refer to it as “helping” our daughter when we talk about it amongst ourselves as in “It’s been 3 days, should we help her?” About a month ago she saw us both in her room (a rare occurrence apparently) and burst into tears saying “No help. No help.” It was awful. We’re trying everything and are praying that one day this will simply just resolve itself. The best of luck to you and your daughter, it’s the worst.

  • http://www.paintingchef.com PaintingChef

    I’m not going to read 400 comments to make sure I’m not saying something everyone else has already said. So I’ll just, most likely, repeat nothing new.

    Every child is different. And you have, quite obviously, done such a wonderful job with Leta. From what we hear from you, she is a remarkable little girl. It sounds like what you’ve had to go through with the cathedar and the enemas is just awful, really difficult for any parent to have to put their child in a situation where they are unhappy, even when you do know that you are doing it for their benefit. I’m so sorry you had to do that.

    I think children let you know when they are ready to be potty trained so don’t push her in to it. Sounds like you have enough bathroom issues to deal with without throwing another one on top just for shits and giggles.

    As for the refusal to pee except in her sleep? Hopefully time and maybe a little positive reinforcment will take care of that one. When my parents wanted my sister to stop sucking her thumb, they made this poster and covered it with balloons that they had put little prizes inside of and then inflated. For every day that my sister didn’t suck her thumb, she got to pop a balloon and keep the little prize. At the end of a month she got to go to the toy store and get something kind of big. (Oddly…she wanted a Snoopy electric toothbrush). But they made it like a game. Maybe something along those lines would help?

    Good luck.

  • http://jenandandrew.blogspot.com jennifer_starfall

    i’m not a mom, but i know the cardinal rule of motherhood: thou shalt not criticize other moms (unless they’re like, beating their kids with spiked garden implements or something) because it is HARD being a mom, and everyone has to do it their own way.

    tell leta that i peed my pants laughing over “hot rotten vegetable fart,” so she’s not alone.

    and hang in there. you and jon are the only people who know what’s best for leta.

  • http://www.soshoeme.vox.com Dani

    Argh! I’m so frustrated for you. And clearly I’m not alone. And poor Leta. It’s so hard when they don’t know what’s wrong and are in pain. Sorry you had to take that time out of your day to read her email and question yourself for even a second. Good luck to you. Maybe if you let Leta Poo all over her room it would make Catherine happy. Better yet, go Poo all over Catherine’s front stoop.

  • http://www.blurbology.com shanparker

    I’m also still amazed at the nerve that people have to send you those types of emails. I’ll never get it. I happen to like your house!

    And as for the story with Leta. I do not have kids, nor will I ever most likely have any but it really broke my heart to read that story. I hope things start getting better! You guys are great parents don’t let other people try and tell you otherwise!

  • http://www.vjgreetings.blogspot.com/ SarahSmile

    You’re a good mama to Leta, and your house is beautiful and warm-looking.
    I know you know that, but it’s nice to hear sometimes. Leta is lucky to have you and Jon as parents.

  • http://dianahiggins.com/diaphanous DianaHiggins

    I am just so angry that you felt that you had to justify your choices about potty training!! I mean, if she were 11 maybe this would be an important disussion but however you approach this is absolutely no one’s business outside of your home.

    This entry really touched me, though. Very sensitively written and powerful.

  • http://confuseddildo.blogspot.com/ katy66

    A friend of mine was having similar issues with his daughter, and for health reasons could not pottty train her until she was four and a half, and she still has issues.

    My stepson was three and a half when he finally showed some interest in learning.

    People, like lovely Mizzzz Catherine are petty, unhappy and sociopathic. Who takes the time to write nasty emails to strangers?

    Loser.

  • KidKate

    No advice, just wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry you get emails like that (what is wrong with people?) and I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time with Leta.

  • http://givingmommy.typepad.com katem9579

    I have been reading you since our babies were born. Mine is only a couple weeks behind yours. Anyways, Miss G is not even close to being potty trained. I decided when she was born hat I would follow my friends advice. She never tried to get her daughther to PT. A few weeks after she turned three she told her mommy that she no longer wanted to wear diapers that she was going to wear panties. So her mommy put the panties on her fearing for the worst. When she had to go she went to the bathroom and has only a couple accidents to this day. So if wait till they are ready you wont have to pull your hair out about it.
    I havent even started with my gal but she knows how to potty and she watches us but she isnt ready to do it yet or you know what?? She would! When she wants to potty she will just like everything else she has done. I bet you our kids will be PT’d within a couple weeks of each other just like every other mileston Leta has met a couple weeks ahead of G!
    I could care less what other people say. I know my child best and they arent the ones changing the diaps and actually right now with another little one its much easier to change a diap then to harrass her all day about getting to the potty in time. No thanks. She will get there when she gets there. If she is 5 then I guess she wll just go to kindergarten in diapers. Yeah right. I dont think any kid would let that happen.

  • http://www.ceescowtown.blogspot.com fraucowtown

    What makes a woman sit down at her computer and type out a hateful email and send it to a stranger? What a twisted person indeed.

    Ooh, it’s horrible to go through that with a child. When I was the mean nurse on the other end of the catheter having to do that to some scared child who just didn’t understand… I was tearing up just like the parents and the child. It’s an awful experience…sigh. Thank goodness for all the love and support here and well wishes for your family. Of course you know you and Jon are doing just great raising Leta. Thank you for continuing to share your life in stories and photos despite the cold hearted idiots.

  • http://jenandandrew.blogspot.com jennifer_starfall

    i’m not a mom, but i know the cardinal rule of motherhood: thou shalt not criticize other moms (unless they’re like, beating their kids with spiked garden implements or something) because it is HARD being a mom, and everyone has to do it their own way.

    tell leta that i peed my pants laughing over “hot rotten vegetable fart,” so she’s not alone.

    and hang in there. you and jon are the only people who know what’s best for leta.

  • http://bhappenings.blogspot.com/ betina

    Just for the record, I thought your house looked GREAT. Your personal style was everywhere, I love the heirloom nick nacks and the way you use family pictures with other scenic photos you have taken.

    I would like Catherine to tell me how she trained her 2 year old son so quickly. My 2 1/2 year old has never even so much as piddled 3 drops of pee into the potty despite a daily potty sitting party. Sigh.

    My sister’s 3 year old has a poo probelm a lot like Leta’s. She started adding fiber to her water and some other stuff, in fact she just posted about it the other day… here is the link:

    http://meagreofferings.blogspot.com/

    Good luck.

  • violetgirl

    Hi Heather,
    I can’t believe the nerve of that woman!! Good for you until waiting until Leta is ready to be potty trained. I think that is the best thing a parent can do in that process – wait for their child to show they are ready. I definitely know where Leta is coming from in being scared to pee. I had my first UTI last October and even though I am 28 and had read up on the symptoms and knew what to expect it was still scary to be in so much pain and (to leap WAY over the boundaries of what’s socially appropriate) to pee blood. I still get nervous when I pee sometimes, afraid that the pain and fever will be back. I think that forcing Leta to start potty training now would be disastrous. You are such a good mom for being sensitive to her needs and allowing her to go at her own pace. She will be potty trained eventually and I bet it will go that much more smoothly because you waited until she was ready. Try not to worry about what gloomy gusses say – you have a sweet, smart, lovely daughter who is so clearly loved and well taken care of. So, go give her a hug, have John give you a hug and treat yourself to some Doritos and Maker’s Mark. You deserve it!!!

  • http://biodtl.diaryland.com biodtl

    I don’t have any advice, except don’t worry about it. My daughter has a problem with UTIs and urinary reflux, so we dealt with some of the same issues. Luckily, she didn’t have the added bonus of constipation and we were able to get her trained just before her 3rd birthday (although I know some of it had to do with the nearing vacation – Disney – and the perfect bribe…er…reward – the princesses). But my son was 4 before he was trained. He was able to do it, was not afraid, but just chose not to. No amount of begging, pleading, psychology, threatening or bribery would change his mind. I was afraid he’d be going to school in diapers and then one day he just started on the potty. He’s a perfectly normal well, adjusted 10 year old now, so don’t worry one bit about Leta. And don’t let the assholes get you down.

  • namedpipe

    Wow. This is post is going to break 1k comments.

    Waiting makes sense. I know you’ve probably thought of this, and choosing between starving her and constipation is tough, but what about diet? Do they make high fiber pop-tarts? Colon blow Licorice? An all raisin diet?

  • TxSuzyQ

    Well.. At least she’s got an amazing ability to hold it! When she is finally comfortable and ready to potty train, she likely won’t be having accidents, at least during awake hours. IMO, that’s half the battle and Miss Knowitall can suck some chocolate snow!

  • http://www.chickadoodle.blogspot.com AJ

    Hi Heather,

    My daughter had the same problem – not with peeing but with encropesis when she was 5. I know exactly what you mean about watching her battle her body! I kept hoping it would right itself but it only got worse and worse. She actually went almost 2 weeks without pooping at the worst. And then I got serious. We never did an enema but I used suppositories. And laxative tea. She loves drinking tea. I think it was the hate of the suppositories that got her pooping again. And the laxative tea helped to clean out her very impacted colon. The only way I would not use a suppository was if she pooped that day. It has been 5 months now and we are pooping regularly everyday with no suppositories or laxative teas. Good luck! And I feel for you!

  • http://lessofeverything.typepad.com Christin Glodek

    NO NEED TO JUSTIFY- unless it makes the other person feel like a complete ass (which I hope your entry has done.)

    The most encouraging thing I ever read about potty training was, and I approximately quote, “It is rare for a child to go to college still in diapers.”

    You’ve (we’ve) still got loads of time.

    Also, haven’t heard much about your poop chute in a while. What gives?

  • http://frothonthedaydream.blogspot.com/ chloe

    Before Leta is potty trained i wish that she could leave a big turd on Catherine’s stylish carpet.

  • Galatae

    Isn’t it said that hyper-critical people are overcompensating for personal flaws?

    Anyway, I don’t think it matters when you potty train – everyone has to be ready for the process, physically and mentally.

    That being said, why not try thinking outside the box. I’m sure you’ve read a thousand and one potty training advisers and everyone pretty much says the same things for whatever method they’re advocating. Forget what they’re advocating.

    Right now your biggest issue is going to be making it fun again and taking the pressure off. Why not write Leta a story about peeing and illustrate it with funny pictures? Use Elmo. Have fun. Give her a pee target or something in her diaper. I dunno – turn it into a game. Or tell her Elmo cries every time she doesn’t pee. Something that overrules her fear of the process. Use her stubbornness against her. She’s got to be stubborn about other things too. Just don’t sweat it. If she’s that stubborn there’s nothing you can do to change her mind – she’s got to figure it all out herself.

    Being a person with an incredibly painful bladder disorder, I so wish I had a way to tell you how to fix the fear, but I don’t. I just know what she’s going through and I can sympathize with you. And unfortunately it has to get worse before it will get better. You just have to wait for the light bulb moment to go off in her head.

  • Sweet Julie

    I feel so bad for Leta. I hope she slowly forgets to be afraid or stubborn about her functions. I hope she forgets this whole miserable part of her childhood and only remembers lazing in bed and singing and loving licorice. And I hope you will forget those terrible ten minutes. I think as long as you keep track of her functions so you know if she’s entering the danger zone, you’re doing all you can. She has to grow past it and continuing to nag or cajole her can only make her more obstinate. Your critics are all self-righteous hags.

  • Lisa

    Heather,

    No question this woman is probably one of those militant breast feeders who even though “my child is potty trained at 2″ probably still breast feeds her children til they’re 12. Whatever. She must have a compliant kid. I love how people think that because something worked for them, that you’re a complete incompetent if you’re not able to do “it” too. Thanks for being so judgemental, freak.

    No matter. My girls weren’t potty trained until after they were 3. They just weren’t ready. Period. I don’t think it’s wise to force a child to do something they’re not ready to do. It’ll happen when it happens.

    We had to try to catheterize my oldest daughter, and after that experience, (which wasn’t successfuly btw), I felt like the biggest schmuck for allowing a DR. to do that to my child. She fought like a champ and won!

    My second daughter was terribly constipated all her little life too and our Dr. prescribed Miralax for her. Worked like a charm for a while too.

    Bottom line, her constipation got much better as she got older and started eating more. We don’t have to use laxatives anymore, she was potty trained at 3 and we all lived happily ever after.

    The end.

  • Tara

    Just thought of something else, maybe a dumb question. . . Why did the doctor insist on testing for diabetes via a urine sample right away, if it seemed apparent that Leta had a UTI? As much as it hurts to pee under those conditions, I bet getting catheterized would feel somewhat like getting speared in the delicates with a red-hot poker. I guess I’m just kind of surprised that he couldn’t get Leta started on antibiotics, or at least maybe give her something for the pain, and THEN get the urine sample, when it might not be such a traumatic experience for her.

    But I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV.

  • abinar

    Rest assured that should that woman have another child, he or she will be un-potty-trainable and will be wearing diapers in kindergarten. I know this because once you wrote about having to physically pull poop out of Leta and I thought “Oh they must not be giving her enough water.” (I did not, however, write a mean nasty email.) Fast forward to last night when I had to pull poop out of my son. I think I actually felt the karma smack me in the head.

    One thing you could think about is making going in the potty an out from her refusal at go at all. So the plan would be to stop any mention whatsoever about pooping or peeing for like a week. (I guess you’d still have to do the enema thing if necessary.) And then, while continuing not mentioning it, you adults start having fun when you use the potty. Like laughing and whooping it up like it’s the best thing in the world. All the while acting very nonchalant about it. If she asks you about it, you say, “Oh, I was just pooping in the potty.” Then maybe the association of peeing/pooping in general = pain will change to peeing/pooping in her diaper = pain and going in the potty = fun! At some point she might actually want to try it. If she does, give her some licorice or twirl her around or whatever she thinks is the funnest thing in the world.

    I hope some part of this was helpful.

  • http://maisondangereuse.blogspot.com Brad Martin

    Mother’s who belittle you over potty training while lauding themselves are the same moms who are breast-feeding their twelve-year-old at Ryan’s Family Style Buffet. And I liked your house actually. I live with 3 other 24-year-olds and I can only hope to wake up to a room that’s “sterile”. Of course with all the alcohol spilled on the furniture things are 1800′s surgery ready.

  • mm

    Oh Heather, I can’t believe people like that! Apparently she thinks she knows everything, but if she did, she would know that experts say that children should be potty trained when they are ready. And, they will, at their own speed. My daughter showed interest, but didn’t really want to try it herself until she was three. And longer for poopie. She had been potty trained for pee pee for many months, but would still go get a pullup and put it on to poopie. Now, at five, we thankfully have been done with pullups for a while, but there is no need to rush these babies! They will do things at their own pace, and there is no right or wrong age for these types of milestones. That woman is just a bitch, and it just kills me that people are so judgemental.

    I love your site, I am a long time reader. Keep up the great work with the site, and with that precious baby.

  • Hannah_StupidityKills

    I hope the comments given have made you feel a lot better Heather;
    I myself was a ‘force of nature’ as a toddler, although I didn’t have Leta’s..solid problem, I spent most of my first 8 years simply too busy in the world to worry about the niggling sensation that I needed to use the toilet. That was sooooo not as important or interesting as the bug-house I was busy creating blueprints and hiring contractors for. As a result I wet myself regularly for all those years until a barrage of hospital tests proved that it was not a physical problem and something my parents and I had to train myself to pay attention to. I think going to school and the possibility of embarrassing myself helped a lot, as it may well do when Leta starts spending more time with her peers. She will let herself go when she’s ready!

  • Kmom

    Ugh, other moms! They can be so mean. Your house is awesome – who doesn’t want to be more organized? Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can’t decorate nicely and keep your house clean and looking like adults actually live there, too.
    And the potty thing-I would understand her making those comments if she didn’t have kids but apparently she has the best kid in the whole world so forget her. Potty training will happen one day. She won’t be in school in diapers and until then who cares? Obviously Leta has potty issues that most kids don’t have and needs to take it slow. Obviously this Catherine keeps up with your site and should already know this before making her stupid comments. You’re the mom, you know Leta best – don’t doubt yourself!

  • mm

    Oh Heather, I can’t believe people like that! Apparently she thinks she knows everything, but if she did, she would know that experts say that children should be potty trained when they are ready. And, they will, at their own speed. My daughter showed interest, but didn’t really want to try it herself until she was three. And longer for poopie. She had been potty trained for pee pee for many months, but would still go get a pullup and put it on to poopie. Now, at five, we thankfully have been done with pullups for a while, but there is no need to rush these babies! They will do things at their own pace, and there is no right or wrong age for these types of milestones. That woman is just a bitch, and it just kills me that people are so judgemental.

    I love your site, I am a long time reader. Keep up the great work with the site, and with that precious baby.

  • http://www.notinaday.com/kelly Filtering Life

    Holy Crap Heather, you get a ton of comments! Anyway, I never comment on your site, but enjoy your humor more than you know. I have no idea how you do it. How do you put up with such ignorant, judgmental and mean comments? I mean you do a great job making light of her words and others, but that just totally sucks when it has to do with your mothering and your daughter. I don’t know what I would do if someone was attacking me or my daughter, Chloe. You have a grace about you that I admire.
    My daughter is only an infant, so I have no advice whatsoever. I can not image the agony you have had to go through with all her intestinal/bladder issues. To have to hold her down so they could administer a catheter…that is so heart wrenching. Just wanted to say I am among the majority that reads your blog because we support you and not to take pop shots or cast our stones of judgment.

  • Izzy

    Did Catherine explain, anywhere in her email, why the decor in your home or your daughter’s bowel movements, be they in a toilet or diaper, are ANY of her fricken business?

    Just curious…

  • http://rivetergirl.blogspot.com rivetergirl

    It seems that using some kind of reward system might help overcome the fears. Perhaps she could get some kind of small reward everytime she goes in her diaper while she’s awake. Probably the best thing is to be encouraging and enthusiastic when necessary and the rest of the time try to make it a non-issue for her.

    Y’all are in a tough situation right now, but the good news is, this too shall pass!

    Oh and I have to agree with the numerous other readers, your home is lovely, really. It totally looks like live people live there.

  • venicecoxes

    Look in the mirror and say out loud “I am Heather B. Armsrong, a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker” and I’m sure you’ll feel better. Ever since discovering your site a few months ago I say that to myself each day (putting in my own name sometimes, too.) You kick ass and Leta is going to do something amazing with her will someday.

  • Jody

    I don’t know why you even bother to read and respond to comments that are so rude and jugdmental. You know what’s best for Leta, you are her mother afterall. Just think of how blessed Leta is to have someone as open-minded as you are. What if she had this woman as a mother? Someone who thinks that all children are the same and should be treated as such. I wonder how far this person would go trying to make Leta conform to her ideals. Or when she would hit the breaking point and realize that there are exceptions and every child is different. It seems that your approach is working for you and Leta. She’s a happy, loving child. So, keep doing what you’re doing, with the exception of reading and responding to bad comments. Stop doing that right away!