• cathy

    You are brilliant.

    And it’s a very good thing to live in a country where smart people who can write, and who are very, very smart, can earn a living off their smartness, and their exceptionally good writing.

    Bring on more infant life insurance ads.

  • http://www.eatingdisordertalk.com rilah

    That was too funny that I have no words. I have woken my daughter laughing and must assist her 11 month old ass back to sleep. Quick question, though…

    what size bra does chuck wear?

  • http://www.findingnormal.com AOtis

    Lynn is right. Your t-shirt is not even remotely funny. It is incredibly freaking hilarious, and every time I think about it I laugh a little. I only wish I had one of my own.

  • FlakeyBlakee

    Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, tasty murder!

  • http://www.findingnormal.com AOtis

    Your t-shirt is most certainly very, very funny. I only wish I had one of my own :(

  • http://www.xanga.com/jolie_ravioli Jolie

    it’s so funny to me how much people can hate you about your own, personal blog. I love your blog. you’re so damn funny. and even if you weren’t, who is forcing anyone to read it? I guess that makes it even funnier how people are pulling their hair out about how much they can’t stand you. people, come on!

  • http://log.davedot.com/ Dave Vogt


    There is no such thing as an excess of adorable dog pics.

  • SurlyRide

    Heather… we can unload a Memphis-style whoop-ass on these haters! Complete with Hank Williams Jr., beef jerky, dawgs, and fake nails! Meet me in the parking lot of East End Skatin’ at 8:00!

  • http://www.busymomma66.blogspot.com busymomma

    This was not even remotely funny.

    Ok, by God it was!! I especially liked the guy who emailed you from work.

  • Hervert

    I love you, dooce! You’re the best.

  • http://evilbaritone.blogspot.com EvilBaritone

    Where can I get me one o’ dem shirts!? Mmmmm….tasty….

  • http://modadimagno.blogspot.com El Mango

    Heather, I must agree that the quality of the hate-mail has declined – but I will equate that with the growing Wii addiction among the young people. I would write better hate-mail, but I’m too busy with my iPhone.

    Thank you for creating a forum for semi-literate asshats to comment on one of the best blogs around. You rock. (Or is that yew rok?)

  • annette

    Wow. Thoroughly embarrassed that someone with my name would send such stupid hate mail. Sad part is, it’s not even clever!

    Oh. And one can never, ever have too many Chuck pictures.

  • http://valetian.blogspot.com Valeta

    Haha. I love it.

    I wish I were hated as much.

  • http://pixie-powered.blogspot.com PixieMegh

    Thanks for the giggles, I really needed them today! I mean… what I meant to say was “That post wasn’t remotely funny.”

  • Jewels

    lol! Heather can haz cheezberger? //off/cliche/
    :o D

  • Nat W.

    Your “Meat is Murder” shirt cracks my ass up. As an animal lover and someone who wishes she had the will power to be a vegetarian, your shirt perfectly describes my dilemma.

  • http://themetamorph.com The Metamorph


    Seriously, I shouldn’t read your site at 11pm on a weeknight, my cackling might disturb the neighbors.

  • http://www.thesigs.com karyn

    You seriously get the best hatemail. I particularly enjoyed the one criticizing you for your commentary on mental illness.

    I just hope you’re not lobbing those cute pink shoes you bought in San Francisco at Jon.

  • http://www.amythemom.com Amy the Mom

    I’m so glad I found you three years ago during a Google search for “constipation cures.” Even though this site has never helped in that arena, you’ve given me more laughs than I can count. Especially tonight. Thanks!

    That just might be my new favorite picture of Chuck.

  • http://tiggerlane.blogspot.com Tiggerlane

    Lynn is OBVIOUSLY a moron.

    Maybe she would have redeemed herself a smidge if she had at LEAST acknowledged that “Meat is Murder” is one of the BEST albums ever by one of the BEST bands ever – The Smiths…gosh.

    And I’m glad there are daily photos of Chuck. Fridays just don’t come around often enough.

    Rock on, Dooce!

  • Blue Momma

    I love the hatemail.

    I can’t wait to get some hatemail of my own.

    Your blog is great. Do I sound like a stalker if I say I want to be you when I grow up?

  • Linda of Linda Quarterly

    All my best friends are Shit Ass Ho Motherfuckers. And I include you among them. Keep getting paid for the great work.

  • Morph

    There are days when I think I’m in love with you. Not in a creepy, stalkery way, but more in the way where I drag people to my laptop and point, making vaguely cavewoman-like noises indicating that you have, once again, proven yourself to be made of both Awesome and Win.

  • BodaciousGirl

    That’s IT! I am sooooo starting my own blog. I want HATEMAIL TOO!!! I know I can piss off a few people with what I have to say.

    PS I live my life in ALL CAPS too Leta… ;-)

  • Blue Momma

    I love the hatemail.

    I can’t wait to get some hatemail of my own.

    Your blog is great. Do I sound like a stalker if I say I want to be you when I grow up?

  • http://shoeism.blogspot.com Therese

    Hee. I love your replies to these. In particular, “Will work harder to get arrested.” I guess that particular hate-mailer didn’t quite realize that it is precisely because your life is normal (as normal gets), and the reason you’re so well read is not because of your adventures, but rather, your perspective on those every day moments. That’s the point. It’s your writing that’s wonderful and appreciated.

    I’m sure I’ve told you before, but I’ll say again that I’m glad you keep your sense of humour when you look through them; makes it better, and you win, whee! Must be hard sometimes, with a flood like the one you must get.

  • http://trashytashy.blogspot.com Tachae

    I was in SLC today. I drove through on saturday and flew home today and as I flew home I remembered you lived in mormonville.

    They tried to convert me in the airport.NO SHAME at all ! I love the posted hatemail.

    I also love the pic of Chuck… I hope the mormons are in a tither.

  • http://musicguy2723.blogspot.com MusicGuy

    I LOVE these emails. People are so stupid, and your comments are wonderful responses.

  • http://www.embracetheadventure.blogspot.com Carol

    OMG’ness. You rock.

    Thanks for the daily (or every other day, or sometimes twice a day, or whatever) dose of smack-your-forehead moments and laughter-induced endorphin rushes.

  • http://flubberwinkle.blogspot.com/ Flubberwinkle

    Heather you’re a helluva talented writer and I Love! Love! Love! your site. This is my counterpoison to all those evil exclamation points tainting your inbox.

    p.s. I don’t know know what gave me a bigger rush today: finding out that Chuck is a cross-dresser and or that you opened comments!

  • http://trashytashy.blogspot.com Tachae

    I was in SLC today. I drove through on saturday and flew home today and as I flew home I remembered you lived in mormonville.

    They tried to convert me in the airport.NO SHAME at all ! I love the posted hatemail.

    I also love the pic of Chuck… I hope the mormons are in a tither.

  • liz voss

    this picture of chuck made even my animals-wearing-clothes hating husband laugh.

    i just found your website earlier this year and have devoured your archives. i love your writing style and am constantly struck by how honest and open you are. i think it’s wonderful : )

    now i just wish i could get my dog to balance things on her head! (she generally doesn’t sit still long enough for such things.)

  • kmoka

    What!?!? There’s only like 3 exclamation points. These people really are lame. I wonder if Pete could see his reflection in his monitor while he was telling you are an idiot.

    Nice jugs Chuck – love the tongue… way to exclamation point that.

  • http://www.dmmos.blogspot.com Darla

    I found your blog through my sister’s blog. I must say I think you are hysterical. As for the hatemail – WOW people really need other hobbies.

    The skinny hatemail comment was one of my favs, your response – savvy!!

  • Coyote

    Bwahahaha! If laughter is the best medicine, I will never be ill again.
    Hugs to you, dear one :-)

  • lgreene625

    I love your site, your dog pictures and your adorable daughter! Keep doing what you do!

  • mudpunch

    If you haven’t used it already, might I suggest using “That’s not remotely funny” as the slogan on an upcoming masthead?

    It always cracks me up when I see how seriously people take you. I love what you write, so please, keep on making fun of the haters.

  • Dawn Coyote

    That thing Mormons do where they “call you up” or whatever, after you’re dead?

    That would be fine with me, because who cares? I’ll be DEAD. Duh.

  • http://blog.knit-n-spin.com bip0larbear

    I recently found your site on the Blogger’s Choice Awards site (voted for you for Hottest Mommy Blogger), and have been reading all of the archived posts. Simply awesome. I just got my first hatemail on my blog (from my cousin, no less) and it really threw me for a loop. One nice thing about blogging is that you get to edit your replies. Love you, love your writing. All those freaks who think your life is lame have got to be kidding. Mental illness is *indeed* a laughing matter; if we didn’t laugh at it, we’d be screaming.

  • http://www.phoenixsaysstuff.blogspot.com Phoenix

    Dooce, you crack my ass up. And that’s why I will always come and read your site. “outdoor cooling device”, what a moron. Karen, it’s called a pool. Not a hard word, the last time I checked.

    “Meat is murder. Tasty tasty murder” should be your next masthead. Oh maybe you should save it for a Thanksgiving one.

    I’ve been hoping you wold open comments, just so I could tell you that the pictures you post are amazing. I’ve got to get a better digital camera. I love seeing Chuckles, Leta and your brothers adorable kids every day.

  • Kari-mel

    Too funny! My husband showed me your site about 2 years ago and I’ve been hooked ever since! We love everything about it.

    Personally I’m glad these idiots sit on their moral high horses, it gives us much pleasure to watch you tear them down in just a few short words!

  • http://www.finley-family.blogspot.com dfinley

    You are awesome.
    Chuck is awesome.

    I am going to try to stop laughing now…


  • http://bornto_fly.livejournal.com lindsay

    God, what would we laugh at if not for stupid people?

  • VegasPete


    I have to admit, I like the daily Chuck pic best. He is one of our “virtual” dogs that my sweetheart and I like to check on a daily basis (along with the Weims over on Textism…thanks for the long-ago link).

    However, my sweetie loses her mind when she sees something on Chuck’s head (I can’t bear to hear about the bra later). Something about: “people shouldn’t be allowed to do that to their dog.”

    So I’ve been conscripted into the CLF (the Chuck Liberation Front). Since SLC is only an hour’s flight from Vegas, we’ll be up shortly to “liberate” the Former Congressman. He’ll like it here in LV…where the only pasta he’ll see will go directly to his gullet (no pre-chomping wearing of food allowed in our household).

    Thought you should know,

  • http://www.callieblog.blogspot.com theycallmemama

    Ha! The picture of Chuck at the end was perfect. Funny how much energy people put into hate mail. Makes no sense to me. But thanks for sharing!

  • http://picklesanddimes.com Pickles & Dimes

    I second (or third or whatever) the opinion that “That’s not even remotely funny” should be your next masthead tagline.

    And Chuck? Is AWESOME.

  • moonrattled

    Chuck really deserves a spot on the next Vanity Fair cover. I’m sure Annie Leibowitz would take him on tomorrow as a client.

  • http://www.memoryworkshop.ca Sandra @ The Memory Workshop

    I think I have the teeniest crush on Chuck.

    And that’s not even remotely funny.

  • http://whostheboss.typepad.com BirdieRoark

    I just think that I may need to write you hatemail about the fact that your hatemailers are really lacking in their hatemail. Seriously folks, where are the exclamation points!!!!