Crazy dog person
Thursday, November 29 2007
File Under:
Chuck, Daily, Parenthood
link to this entry
241 comments
Yesterday afternoon when I picked Leta up from school I asked her teacher if everything had gone well, wanted to make sure that if Leta had thrown her body on the floor that they were able to peel it off in one piece. She asked if we had any pets, because Leta had told the entire class about her dog, Chuck, and how he lives in the car.
Let's back up a second. Leta voluntarily talked about Chuck? I asked the teacher if she had threatened anything to elicit this phenomenon, because the only way we can get Leta to acknowledge Chuck's existence is to hang a Dora figurine over the trash and demand that she look directly at the dog or else DORA DIES. In fact, that's the tactic we're using most these days as leverage, heading toward the recycling bin with one of her treasures in hand, giving her the option of either obeying, or this? This Target insert from the Sunday paper, FROM JULY? Do you even have any idea how much pleasure it would be for me to drop it in?
Sometimes I do it even when she's behaving, for no reason other than that it feels so good.
The teacher said no, she hadn't specifically tried to prompt this Chuck story, only that she was reading a book about animals to the class when Leta piped up and told everyone about her dog who does not live in the house. It sounded weird that we would force the dog to live in the car, so she thought she'd ask.
Ha! Ha ha ha. No, no, we don't lock the dog in the car all day, that would be crazy. And we are not crazy. Although, now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't mention that we often like to balance kitchen appliances on his head. Or that we've photographed him using a human toilet.
I think Leta says that Chuck lives in the car because he goes everywhere with us and is always sitting next to her in the back seat. It hasn't always been this way, but in the past four months we've made a lot of changes in our lives. It all happened when cousin GEORGE! moved out and we were free of his evil, manipulative influence. I mean, that kid is a bad kid, taught me all sorts of degenerate tricks, like how to make a bomb out of a pineapple, or how to drip a string of spit from a two story window and hit a target. Tricks that DERAILED MY LIFE.
So when he moved out we took back control of our destiny and started eating better and exercising more, and that included taking the dog for a walk every day no matter what. We've been diligent enough that we've missed only two or three days in the last four months, and this means that Chuck is getting more exercise than he has in years. That in turn means Chuck has slowly become more loyal, and in the last two weeks he's rarely not in the same room as one of us. He's even sleeping with us, which is fine until one of us rolls over to give the other one a loving touch, if you know what I'm saying, and it doesn't matter if he's in the middle of some wild dog dream, he can sense the loving, and he'll look up and glare at us, like, are you about to do what I think you're about to do? That thing where he goes like this, and you go like that? Because I was hoping to throw up today, AND NOW I HAVE A REASON.
When we leave to take Leta to school in the morning he's there wagging his tail, hopeful that we'll take him with us. And we always do, I cannot resist his wagging tail, even though Leta inevitably screams that he's looking at her, or is touching her, or that he's got four legs. One morning it was, MAMA! CHUCK HAS A TAIL! I DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE A TAIL! A TAAAIIIIILLLL. A TAAAAAAAIIIILLLLLLLLL!
I'm sure the other parents see us in the parking lot, there every morning with the dog's face in the window of the car, and are wondering why he's always with us. Why don't we leave him at home? Maybe because he would be lonely? He might starve? He might freeze to death out there by himself on the frozen tundra of our living room? Why? Does there have to be a logical reason other than that my dog is cute? If we had four dogs they'd all be in the car, too. Jon thinks this is totally insane, but he has learned to live with it because, let's just say, sometimes he goes like this, and he would very much like for me to go like that.
1. Bridget said:
I love how you always bring it full circle - thanks for the laugh!
2. Jason said:
Ha! Our dogs know that when mommy and daddy start taking their clothes off it's time for them to go in the crate. We usually don't even have to say anything to them. They just know they don't want to whitness what is about to go down.
3. HeyJoe said:
COMMENTS OPEN! COMMENTS OPEN! POST QUICKLY BEFORE THEY CLO
4. JGT said:
Love that story! One of the other parents at my kid's preschool overheard me ordering my dog to sit while we were waiting to pick her up (the kids were 2) and said, "Ahhhh, THAT's who Xerxes is! My daughter's been talking about Xerxes nonstop for months and we couldn't figure out who he was...." ! But my DD loved our dog passionately at that point. Now she wants a cat and we've told her (she's 4, f*&@ing fours) that Xerx would eat a kitten so she plaintively asks, "When is Xerxes going to die?"
5. Jessica said:
I don't have anything specific to say about this post except that it is just as freakin' hilarious as every other post you write. I just wanted to comment b/c I love your blog, read it religiously, and wanted to thank you for your continued humor.
Thanks, dooce, for brightening my day....every day.
6. mish said:
i am the same w/ my dog! he goes w/ me if i am doing something quick... but i am single...and men just dont understand....
oh, and if i had a comment before reading, i would have been FIRST!
7. Don said:
so i kinda know what you go through with the relationship of the kid/dog thing. except mine is really centered around the kid/human thing. i swear if i had a tail- my kid would not want me to have a tail... and i suppose that would be normal as it would be weird if i were to have a tail... but you get my point.
8. Gooseberried said:
Haha! Love the last sentence.
9. PaintingChef said:
I sometimes wonder what people think when they look in our car and see a dog and two cats driving down the road...
As far as animals and... "fun without pants"... we seemed to have all reached an understanding until we got a new kitten. Who thinks that she should be involved in EVERYTHING.
10. Jami said:
I thought everyone went everywhere with their dog in the car. But of course, I haven't left the South lately.
11. k said:
You are not a crazy dog person until you start taking him for a ride on Sundays. For no other reason than to give him a ride. Because he likes it.
12. Becky said:
If I could take my cat everywhere, I totally would. Although, "crazy cat lady" isn't really as desirable a name as "crazy dog person."
13. Amy said:
That is one of the best posts I have ever read. So funny and perfectly written. I give you the Valedictorian of the Internet.
14. palinode said:
If only Leta had kept up her full-scale ontological rejection of Chuck for a few more years. He might have just vanished from reality one day, taking all memories of Chuck with him. Not that I'd want that for you or your dog: it just sounds cool, and would be a testament to your daughter's force of will.
15. kari said:
Hysterical, as always! Welcome to the world of parenting a fully articulate, imaginative child. It only gets more embarrassing as they grow older.
16. bandick said:
Does Chuck sit or stand in the car?
My dog refuses to sit for longer than 3.7 seconds at a time and so spends most of the trip wobbling around the back seat. She's a large dog -- it's a small back seat. It's a bit distracting.
17. k-m-s said:
I guess I missed it, but it would be great for the picture of Chuck using the human toilet to be re-posted. I love the Chuck pictures and that one sounds like a classic!
Thanks for the great laughs, as always!
18. Yoko said:
I *heart* Chuck & Leta.
My husband and I's dog (read practice child) Bowie had always shared the bed with us. He has his half and we get the other. My hubby's feet don't even hit the floor in the morning before he's wormed his way up to the warm, newly vacant pillow. Spoiled, that dog is. He has to leave the room when it is time for "the loving touch" because he gets REALLY REALLY concerned that something is wrong with Mommy.
Great post, as always.
19. southcitygirl said:
i love chuck.
20. J. Bo said:
You're not crazy until you give in to his request to drive.
21. kit said:
I love that she's objected to Chuck having a tail!
Also, the self check-outs, I SO relate. I couldn't figure out what was driving the machine insane, until they told my son to stand on the other side of me. OOHHH Stupid Machine!
22. Erin said:
I had a cat named Harley from the time I was 16 that went everywhere with me. He hung his head out the window and let his fur blow. He was unaware that he was feline and not canine and we tried hard to shield him from the haters who tried to burst his bubble.
23. Bluestalking Reader said:
You totally need a second dog. We have two Jack Russell Terriers/Terrors. My favorite thing on earth is when they stand side by side, sniffing each other's butts, just because they can. And you're missing out on stuff like that?
24. emily said:
my dog actually hides when there's lovin' going on. it's scary, you know, all that happiness.
25. Heather said:
I hope as a fellow perfectionist you'll appreciate me pointing out the typo where "these days" is missing the "s" in these making it "thee days," which really threw me for a minute. Great post as always and I'm really enjoying the daily style section.
26. Jenn said:
Heather,
Thank you. Your posts never fail to make me laugh out loud. Please keep being you.
And to whoever nominated you for Valedectorian of the Internet, I officially Second it.
All in favor?
27. Kate said:
We do not have a dog. We have 4 cats.
And inevitably one of them around whenever there is loving going on.
Last time one cat sat outside the bedroom time the entire time crying.
I was like "did she sit out there crying the whole time?"
"Yes, Yes, she did."
28. kjc said:
We have two dogs... Jazz could care less that this & that is going on. The other, Katie, thinks that she is a participant. Here I'll help you... by licking you, and sticking my cold nose up your butt. What? aren't you done yet? I want to lick that spot on the bed.
29. anne said:
I am glad to know from this story and the comments that we are not the only owners of a dog who can tell when the humans are going to get it on. Though she did not vomit - she did once pee, on the bed, mid-coital. We thought she could be religious and opposed to pre-marital sex.
30. Barb said:
It's such a rare priviledge to be able to post that I'm all giddy and can't think of a thing to say. You make me so nervous. LOL!
Seriously, thanks so much for sharing your life with us.
Love how you brought this post full circle. My cat has pretty much learned to hang in there during this or that. In fact, she was there when we conceiv...uh, er, did I mention how much I like your writing?!?
31. Heather said:
AYE!
I just spent nearly an hour on your flickr and your photo archives and cannot find Chuck on the potty (sorry, thats what we call it in my house). Please post!
32. Mel said:
Speaking of dogs in cars....so funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp5DkqAxvAI
33. Mrs. Andrews said:
My dogs freak out and try to tackle me whenever I pick up my keys. We take both of ours in the car all the time, even though they like to test the breaks once in a while, and they're not even as talented as Chuck.
34. jess said:
we love to take our dog with us in the car...and she likes it, too. they even have dog treats at the bank for her!
35. Jessica said:
I love Leta. A TAAAIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! OMG, I want her for my own. Great post, as always.
36. molly said:
If I had a well-behaved pup then I would take him everywhere with me, too. But sadly, there can be no walks in big public areas or drives to anywhere with a sidewalk, because the minute she sees a person, or anything that has been looked at by a person in the last 20 years, she starts barking and barking and BARKING AND BARKING.
37. GEORGE! said:
WHATEVER. So retaliating on this one.
38. Anna said:
You should be glad that she doesn't pay attention to him, or that she talks about him having a tail and her desperate want for him not to have one. Really it's better then babysitting a three year old that thinks stick+dog=funny. Because poking the dog with a stick is totally not funny. At all. Even a little bit.
39. Gail said:
I love this site. I visit daily and often go back and read stuff I miss because laughing until I cry is just the best way to spend my time.
I love that she gets annoyed with him for having a tail or looking at her or touching her or breathing the same air she does.
I felt that way about my brothers and sisters. Minus the tail part.
40. Lou said:
-how to make a bomb out of a pineapple-
I seriously hope you plan to blog that information.
Leta cracks me up.
41. Yolanda said:
Wow. I wanna be a dog. Someone forcing me to walk every day makes feel very unloving toward them, not snugly at all.
42. William said:
When Chuck is in bed and you do "that" and Jon does "this" and I am sure your Mormon upbring has taught you that "this and That" is in the missionary style...does he shake his head as if to say.."you guys are doing it wrong?"
43. jane said:
Hey, what's up with your RSS feed? The pictures are tiny and require a click-through on every post. Maybe you're trying to increase your ad revenue? I will unsubscribe if that's the way it's going to be - not a threat, obviously, since the loss of one reader isn't going to affect you, but just letting you know my preference. Perhaps you'll reconsider? Maybe go back to putting ads in the feed if that will help.
44. Nicole said:
Living in Utah, we are probably the only people above the age of... 21 that doesn't have kids. We have dogs. And we take them EVERYWHERE. To family functions. To get ice cream. You say ride and they are sitting at the front door. And it drives my brother in law *crazy* that we always liken how he treats our dogs to whether he would do that to his kid. Ha!
45. Friday said:
I live in a car! Well, I don't really, I just wanted to leave a comment somewhere in the top 100. Because I cancancan.
46. AmyM said:
If I had a Chuck, he'd go everywhere with me, too. (Much to my husband's chagrin.) But you just can't fit a horse in the back seat of a minivan, so what's a girl to do?
47. Chessy said:
Yay! Dogs! I have a dog and I am going to have a daughter in January. I just hope my dog doesn't eat her.
48. Becky S said:
Chuck has a tail!? How dare you have a dog next to your daughter that has a tail!
I love your blog and I love the new set up and pictures. and of course I heart Chuck. He would go with me everywhere too.
49. Rachel said:
I've always wondered that when I see dogs in the car...I have a cat, and he freaksss out when the car's moving.
But being cute is a plenty good reason.
50. workroom said:
^___^
bowchickachickawowr...
51. ellcee said:
My niece used to do the same thing with her mother's cat when she was that age. And my cats. And anyone's cat or dog or godlfish. She threw a tantrum one day when I was babysitting because the cat looked at her or whatever because I loved the cat more than her. I told her that yes, absolutely this is true, and it's because the cat doesn't throw itself on the ground and scream and who wouldn't love the cat better?
I'm a bad auntie. But it shut her up!
LC
52. stephanie said:
Just wondering. Do you put any kind of restraint on your dog when he's in the car? I was in my friend's car a few weeks ago and her dog just sat in the back seat. I was really worried that the dog would turn into a projectile if she ever got into an accident, but it had never occurred to her and she seemed almost miffed that I mentioned it. Not sure why dogs should have less protection in cars than kids...
53. darcie said:
aaaahh-ha! funny!
54. Lanie said:
Maybe Leta would prefer to have an Australian Shepherd as a pet? They come naturally tailless. Although she might be inclined to object to the thick soft fur. Sounds like a rock and a hard place to me.
55. Leigh said:
First, I love Chuck so very much. I cannot wait until January to open my CALENDAR which will be in my office at my job in one of the largest corporations in San Francisco because that will lead to me turning more people on to "daily Chuck" and then I will have others to talk to.
Second, you bring Chuck because he is one of the coolest dogs on the planet. And dogs are pack animals who should be brought along whenever possible. Anyone who doesn't know that really isn't your type of person.
56. Shanna murray said:
at least you don't take him around town in a homemade doggy sling like i do.
my friends think i'm crazy, but i'm really just in love. with. my. dog. and yes, believe it or not, he loves travelling that way!
57. Cassandra said:
As a person with a dog, as a person who is insanely in love with dogs, I totally get your position on taking Chuck everywhere.
But yeah, how dare he have four legs. It's just not right.
58. Crys said:
I like how you mentioned how Leta screams when Chuck looks at her. My oldest, who is two, will scream at me when her little sister looks at her. Its always "Mommy, Baby looking at me. Baby leave me lone!"
59. erica said:
My dog has a similar look, but it's more like "you're going to kick me out of bed just to do THAT again?", as if she's just bitter that anything humans would do without her could be worthwhile.
60. helena said:
wait a minute. stephanie, are you actually suggesting a DOG SEATBELT? or better yet, a dog car seat?
brilliant! because dogs are as important as children. when they turn 18, they get to vote, just like children. and if you accidentally run over someone's dog, you are likely to be convicted of manslaughter, same as someone's child.
[actually, i've heard that if you run over someone's dog, you're obligated to stop, get out and look for that person's owner. but if you run over someone's cat, it is perfectly okay to leave the cat pancake on the street without thinking twice about finding the cat owner. cats are rebel loners.]
61. Ingrid said:
Why would anyone think taking your dog with you for rides in the car is strange? When I was growing up, my mom always took our black lab with her to pick us up from school, and she pretty much went everywhere with us...but then again, I did grow up in Alabama...
62. kelly said:
long live dooce! up with chuck!
63. Kath said:
Life can never have too much Chuck in it.
64. jdubya said:
without fail, my yorkie will jump on the bed and try to lick our faces/asses. hello? daddy doesn't need your help, Toki.
great post, heather!
65. Katie said:
I take my dog with me pretty much everywhere I possibly can. I feel immense guilt when I have to leave him at home. It's so bad then when my boyfriend and I know we are both going to be gone most of the day, we take the dog to his nanny's so that he can play with his little dog friends while we are gone. I'm okay with being crazy!
66. tiger lamb girl said:
Our dog loves going in the car. He paces back and forth in the back (we have a volvo station-wagon) and smooshes his nose up against the windows - fogging them up. And he's very good about me cramming in a few groceries next to him. He's never eaten anything, now that I think about it. Wow. Actually, I was thinking he's a pain in the ass with his penchant for lying on my new silk rugs (with mud on him! arg), but actually? He's pretty good seeing as he's never once eaten meaty groceries lying right next to him.
Nice to see you have comments open;).
67. Gillian said:
kelly from a couple comments ago - Up with Chuck! made me laugh, and think of vomiting. Why is vomiting funny? I don't know.
dooce - (2) things:
(1) During THIS and THAT, have you ever lost track of things and perhaps closed your eyes and then suddenly felt a cold nose on your tush? Because THAT is the quickest way to deflate the mood, if you know what I'm sayin'
(2) I think you crashed the BYU Student Honors association site, because I STILL can't get in there. I'm dying to be preached to by Ninja Turtles.
68. Anne said:
If we're doin' it on the bed our cat insists on interrupting us, preferably by creating a human/cat pyramid, or as we like to call it, a "cat pile". After knocking her off the bed/us for what feels like the millionth time, she sits down in the bathroom across from our bedroom and stares at us the whole time with these huge saucer-like eyes. That's not disturbing at all!
And, for the record, I would totally take her in the car with me if she would endure it.
69. ecogrrl said:
I have a cat. He is partially blind, which means that he likes to sit really, really close during this and that so he can see what's happening. Sometimes, he tries to sit on my feet in mid-act, and he always looks like he's debating whether to attack my husband (jealousy issue) or flee straight into the closet.
70. Michelle said:
Ahhh haa love that post. The thing is we used to put our dog in the care - weather permitting - when we had guests over - as a adolescent dog she was no longer a cute puppy but rather a tazmanian devil when people came to visit. Ironically she would just sit or lie there contently and never ruined anything in the car. It was like a giant crate to her. She flew to us in a crate and it must have spooked her because we could not crate train her after that. I would like to repeat we only did this when the weather was exactly the right temperature to put her in there and have the windows open for circulation. The rest of the time we tied her to the furnace
.
.
.
JUST KIDDING
71. stephanie said:
helena,
I'm not talking about the legal rights of dogs as compared with kids. A projectile dog is likely a dead dog. Is that what you want to happen to your pet if you are involved in an accident?
Dog car restraints exist. Just do a search at PetSmart for example.
72. DCPhotog said:
Lovely, lovely post as always. If I had a cute pup like Chuck, I'd bring him everywhere, too.
ps- your thing at the bottom that is supposed to stop non humans from spamming... guess what it just had me type in? "expect interplay" hmmm...
73. Laura said:
My sister has two cats without tails who think they are dogs. I wonder what Leta would think of that?
74. Christine said:
I can't decide which is more amusing: an in-shape, svelte dog with a dry sense of humor that travels in style everywhere his owners go? or... a 3 year old who thinks that her family's dog lives in the car, and refuses to acknowledge said dog's existence, and will only discuss him when she's at pre-school.
Truly dooce is a lucky woman to be blessed with such hilarious and loving little creatures :D
75. BettyCrockerASS said:
Great...now I feel like a total shit head because my two poor little dogs hardly ever get walked. I think I'll go take them out now. Wait, Tyra's on. Never mind.
76. Jodie said:
To a previous reader: I've got a harness that hooks into the seat belt to use as a doggie safety belt. I don't take my Jack Russell for many rides as he HATES riding in the car with a passion. He's now a retired dog at age 17, so the less torture, the better to keep him around a bit longer.
Heather, Chuck sounds like a wonderfully patient dog... and I love the Daily Chuck. Leta must be warming up to having dog if she's now talking about him. I know she's a handful, but I love your Leta stories. I'm just glad that I don't have a toddler, just a young playful cat and an old retired dog.
77. Betty said:
My cat will just stare and stare and stare as if bemused by the whole shebang. Once, she jumped on the boyfriend's back to make it all stop. Her nails dug right in and I thought I was doing an excellent job!
78. Tanya Ryno said:
In regard to OUTSOURCED CARING: I don't use those machines for one reason -- although I could name many reasons -- but the main reason I don't use those machines ... they take away jobs from people who need them!
79. Not Jennie, not Jennie at all. Someone else. said:
Yeah, jealousy issues and doing THIS and THAT: I had a kitten who bonded with me too well. He liked to sit on the bed veryveryclose and watch crankily during, well, acts that left much of me exposed and girlfriend unable to see the cat. Our fear of Catboy's tiny sharp claws and tiny sharp teeth kind of put a damper on things. Things the people at BYU would not approve of.
80. caramama said:
I'm really impressed that you are walking Chuck every day! We always say we are going to start walking our dog every day, and maybe we even start for a day or two, but it inevitably fizzles.
And when we do "this" and "that," the dog goes in her crate. That does not mean she stays there quietly. Nope, she whines like the hound dog she is, especially if we are, shall we say, noisy. It really dampers the mood.
Love your blog, Leta and Chuck! Thanks for making my day with every post!
81. Terri said:
As the "mommy" of four dogs - who all end up in the bed (the other night I woke up and my husband was sleeping on a 1" camping mat on the floor and all four dogs were in the bed with me) Sounds to me like Leta has the subject for her first children's book. Chuck, the dog who lives in the car. Chuck could have all these adventures, going to drop Leta at school, going to the grocery, GOING TO PETCO (where he can actually go into the store!) Maybe in your spare time, in between 'this' and 'that' you could write Chuck's childrens books.
82. the mighty jimbo said:
i am totally the crazy dog person.
"josh the dog" goes with me everywhere. the back of my pathfinder has been converted to a dog house, with bed, food, water, toys, and leash located there at all times. he is on a first name basis with all the people at our favorite sushi place, he has met most everyone inside of a three block radius, and the dry cleaner wonders where he is if i pick up my shirts without him. he is usually greeted well before i am at neighborhood barbeques.
he's currently next to me in mckinney, texas (he's made the flight three times now and is heading back again in three weeks). he's been to arizona a half dozen times, utah at least once, vegas four times, and has been to more national parks than some park rangers.
he does not, however, wear clothing despite the relentless peer pressure from people who humiliate their dogs by dressing them like princess leia.
oh who am i kidding. as if josh would care. how dignified can a dog be if he eats poop?
83. cathy said:
I love this blog.
84. Carrie said:
I really just read the comments for all the, "Not to say you're a terrible parent, BUT you're a TERRIBLE PARENT."
So far we have a spat over dog-seatbelts and/or inalienable rights, but the Hydra of Parenting-Style Criticism has yet to appear.
I'll wait. Patiently. Like Linus and the Great Pumpkin, the Hydra of Parenting-Style Criticism will only appear if you truly believe (in ridiculous people making acidic critiques of a stranger's life, based solely upon humorous essays on a personal website).
85. Z said:
I used to take my dog with me every morning to the McD's drive-thru because they would give her free doggie biscuits. She loved those outings so much she would FREAK OUT when she heard the car keys jingling. After she died, every time I picked up my keys, I would ache not to see her run to the door.
NOW who's the crazy dog person?
86. Ann said:
I also love how you bring things full circle. I don't want to blather - but, Heather, I just love your writing. Yours is the only site I read religiously every day.
87. Heather said:
Just wanted to say I love your site and all of the new changes. I've been a reader for a couple of years now and I've loved every post and picture. Keep up the good work!!!
As for the this and that, my dog Charlie likes to whine outside the door, talk about mood killer.
88. Mocha's Mom said:
The bank, post office, dry cleaners, pharmacy, grocery store, etc... are all stocked with dog biscuits to dole out whenever I drive up with the brown one in the front seat. It's like Halloween everyday!
I do, however, draw the line when the four-legged ones want to participate in the 'this' and 'that.' Cold wet nose in the butt crack is alarming!
89. Natalie said:
How do you turn what should be one sentence (my dog rides in the car), into several very witty and funny paragraphs? That was GREAT!
90. thenshewaslike said:
My parents' dogs LOVE to ride in the car. They get as excited about that as they do about going for a walk.
I only have cats, and I once had to drive them over 1,000 miles as part of a move. I'd read about it before I tried it, and some people strongly advocated letting their kitties free range in the car. So after 4 hours of pitiful crying from one cat and claws of death from the other every time I went for the cupholder (I put them in the passenger seat so they could see me which was supposed to help keep them calm. That didn't work either.), I tried it.
And wouldn't you know, the only places in my large American car they wanted to be was on my head, on the dashboard immediately in front of me, or next to me looking out the driver's side window. And the pitiful crying did not stop. They desperately wanted to be left by the side of a highway in Indiana in an ice storm, apparently. Never again.
91. Kathryn said:
Love the site. Love the story. Keep it up.
Unrelated:
Someone may have mentioned it already, but the BYU pages now sport a note about how they're experiencing a high volume of traffic. It is not obvious that the bishops have already called an urgent meeting? Agenda: Heather B. Armstrong's eternal damnation. Finger sandwiches will be served.
92. Nattie said:
Awesome, as always :) Yay for Chuck.
93. Elizabeth said:
That was completely hilarious.
94. Almost Vegetarian said:
We are about to get a dog. And she can come with us everywhere we go. And even if my husband objects, she can be in the same room when he does this and I do that.
Just as long as she isn't looking.
Cheers!
95. queenie said:
I [heart] Chuck. So maybe the next step would be for Leta to bring him to show and tell.
Or not.
96. Lyndsey said:
I always love to read your Leta and Chuck stories because they are so similar to our Chloe and Tico stories. When we first brought home Tico, a 3 pound fluffy chihuahua, my daughter would bound from the sofa to the chair to the coffee table ninja style in an effort to never touch the ground because she was convinced that "TICO IS GOING TO GET ME!!!!!!!!"
97. Jennine said:
And this, Heather, is EXACTLY why I am compulsive about checking for your latest and greatest post. My husband will never understand why I get out of bed, even in the middle of sex, because OMG I haven't checked Dooce in the last hour and if I don't get my Dooce fix, even my orgasm is meaningless.
You have a website only every mother can love.
98. Muri the Wiener Dog said:
SHOW ME CHUCKS TITTZ!!!!!!!!!!!! ...please?
99. coleenmck said:
1st!!!!
jk but i gotta say, if we were in middle school i would be so annoyed at the "im first!!" students. seriously. but hey, it takes all types, right?
p.terrys in austin texas gives out doggie treats when you order from their drive-thru. LOVE IT, LOVE THEM, LOVE ATX!
keep on rockin in the free world.
100. Scale Junkie said:
We are teaching Sadie to drive, Maxx feels driving is beneath him and won't be subjected to such subservient nonsense.
http://blog.scalejunkie.com/2007/09/dog-day-afternoon.html
101. Walter Bean said:
You're not crazy. If I could take my dog everywhere with me I would. Instead she has to stay in a pen when I'm not home. She still finds the means to destroy stuff but she's even cuter when I get back.
102. Brandy said:
You are not officially a crazy dog person unless you and John have a voice you use when your talking for Chuck...like one day you imagined if he could talk it would sound like this.
Because then you are in the same league of crazy dog person as me and mine and if you take it even further you will find yourself in public with people around saying "this one time our dog said..." and you won't even realise it.
THAT is crazy dog person. NOT that I do any of that..ever.
103. Lara said:
I've been reading this site for god, years now, ever since I started my job with a real office with a real door that SHUTS and I'm not required to stay on work-related web pages all day. At least not required in my mind.
Anyway, I come to your site constantly and it's my all time favorite thing on the entire internet. I adore your stories and your writing style and your kid and husband and dog, as well as your honesty and elegance when you talk about things that are more serious.
And to whoever was dissing dog seatbelts - really, all dogs should be harnessed in the car. If you get in an accident, they become big heavy projectiles that can easily kill you, and they will almost certainly die when they fly through the windsheild. That being said, my dog doesn't. He likes to pace around the back seat and ask for this window to be rolled down now this one now this one now this one please!
Great post!
104. sanya said:
i love dogs. my father never let me have one when i was growing up, and now my apartment building doesn't allow them. guess i'll have to wait till grad school. :(
105. Gigi Griffis said:
We used to take our dog on short trips with us in the car. Until he decided that getting in the driver's lap would be a fun game, and getting on the floor near the gas pedal would be an even more fun game...
106. Sloth said:
Aaangh........I love it. I take my dog everywhere with me - and I take public transport! Every day, twice a day, on the bus to and from work. I even take her to the grocery store with me. I just pop her in my purse and no one even knows.
I don't think I could fit Chuck in my purse....
107. Jennifer said:
Your dog lives in your car. My daughter had a sister that lived in our attic. According to her 2 year old self. That was a fun one to explain to the teachers....
108. jenny said:
its all fun and games until the fact that chuck has a tail disturbs leta so much she rips it off.
109. sylvie said:
Your Leta is a strong minded individual...and obviously challenging, you describe it so well she reminds me a bit of my son but I have not managed to put it into words yet, everything he does shocks me and makes me laugh..but I think I am still in the shock phase...
he is 18! (only joking).
110. Wieslaw said:
I like the new layout of your blog. The divorce of the text from the picture allows for precise formatting of each. No more struggling with text wrapping. Thank you for the idea. It looks great! I read you every day.
111. timmi said:
YEAY! We can comment!
Our dog can't stand it if we go anywhere without her. Ever. She's pissed and throwing things by the time we get back if we don't take her with us. Thank GOD she doesn't read your blog and find out that Chuck lives in your car (or almost). There'd be nothing left to the back yard. Love you, your blog and your sweet posts! You make my day!
112. whitney said:
i take my loki a lot of places with me in the car. this is mostly because i think she has separation anxiety. when i don't take her places and i just leave the apartment, she tears up everything she can get her dirty paws on. so i guess she'll have to get used to waiting on me to get out of the tanning bed.
i bet leta's teacher gets a kick out of her. she's gonna be a pistol when she's older.
113. sarah said:
isn't it funny how they become more loyal when you walk them more?
i wish it worked that way with men.
just last night i was telling my boyfriend how ever since i got sanger a dog walker twice a week and have been making sure she gets out with me every single dingle day, that we've connected again.
lmao.
long live the crazy dog persons of this world. i truly believe we make it a better place. :)
114. Ricki said:
I just wonder if Leta's teacher is the last person on earth who doesn't know you write the famous dooce blog? The last person on earth that isn't well acquainted with Chuck and Jon and Heather and Leta and George? Unbelieveable!
115. wigwag said:
My dog Mike likes to bark during this & that. Very loudly. Right in our ears. I try to think that he's cheering his favorite team on to victory (a game where both sides win!), but it doesn't really help. My husband's strategy, I think, is to do it so often that Mike will get bored. I'm not sure how successful that strategy will be, but my husband is very enthusiastic about it, so...
Btw, Mike's an Australian Shepherd and there was a previous post about their tails - only some are born naturally bobbed; most have them docked like schnauzers, Rottweilers, etc. Just thought I'd pass that along.
116. ChloeM said:
Grew up in SoCal and my mother never went anywhere without at least 3 of 5 kids and 2 of 3 dogs. They were great company when (in the good old days) she'd leave us in the car while she went in to grocery shop, and my older brother would terrorize the younger chillun by claiming that if he depressed the gas pedal, the car would blow up.
Our current dog Gus - yellow Lab - keeps us entertained by energetically cradling his bed between his legs and humping the hell out of it. Almost feel like lighting up a smoke when he tires of this. He's no fun in a vehicle though. He paces back and forth and yodels.
117. Tracy said:
I work at home and need an excuse to get out of the house some days so I take my dog through drive through all the time when I go out for a cup of coffee. The dog usually barks when I give my order to the speaker. Apparently I'm not the only one taking my dog out for coffee because the girl working the drive through has a bucket of dog treats and always hands one out before she hands out my coffee.
118. Rebekah said:
My sister, when my brother was born:
But he has a THINGEEEEEEEEEE!!!
119. Eaine said:
Has Chuck ever considered re-running for government. Seriously.....I think he'd win in the upcoming elections.
120. mejustme said:
My dog Kiesha bows to chuck. The most viewed dog around. Gee, and I thought mine was the attention whore/most neurotic dog.
Kiesha decided yesterday to think ahead to her death. Even though she is barely 15 months old, she dug a 3 foot deep whole so we can easily bury her..just in case. She then threw herself at the back door with mud splattering in a 6 foot circle to ensure I understood she was being neglected. Then proceeded to shake in the house when let in.
She looked at me like I was crazy when I told her to get in that bathtub or I WILL use that damn hole..NOW!! She's lucky I love her to no end...
121. Tina said:
I always wish I could bring my cat to work. He's so cute and hilarious that I know everyone would love him.
But some people have "allergies."
Whatev.
122. Andi said:
I am from Texas.(stop laughing) Many farmers and ranchers here take their dogs to work with them. My husband is one that does not,sadly.
However, our 12 yr old daughter is getting a puppy for Christmas and I can only hope to get to chauffeur the dear furball of cuteness around. I chauffeur the kids around, why not the dog?
Just hope my 6 yr old takes to the dog. She detests my mother's standard poodle but I'm thinking that's just because it's a freaking poodle.
It's so great to be able to comment.
123. cb said:
How is it that Leta's teacher doesn't know that you're an Internet phenomenon and that, if she wanted to, without breaking any laws, she could know much, much more than whether or not you have a dog?
I mean, I understand that not everyone is an obsessive cyberstalker of random families in Utah, and that there is life outside of the Internet, but it's just cracks me up that this is so.
All she has to do is Google leta armstrong dog and there you go.
Also, Chuck is (or was, anyway) sponsored by HP and has his own high-quality wall calendar. Does that make you a crazy dog person? I don't know. Does it make Chuck the awesomest mutt on the planet? I think so.
124. Gabip said:
Our dog goes "bye bye car" with us all the time, every time, she is part of the family. We even drive her through McDonald's every Sunday for her weekly cheeseburger, hold the pickls thank you very much. Woof!
125. Jennifer said:
When I was a teenager my mother and step-father acquired a mini poodle from some old lady who couldn't take care of it anymore. Her name was Missy and I loved her like mad. She was just small and sweet and loved it when I took her for rides in the car.
On one particular ride with Missy I went through this local drive through called the Drive-thru Dairy. They sold milk, bread and other assorted items that you might need but not want to get out of the car to get. When I got up to the window to pay the cashier saw Missy and said "Would you like a treat for your dog?" I said sure, why not, she'd love it. They proceeded to hand me this Milk Bone biscit that was as big as she was. I gave Missy the treat when we got home and she looked at me like I had grown a second head. If she could have spoken I'm pretty sure she would have said "This is a joke, right?"
Anyway...the point I'm trying to make is that you driving Chuck everywhere isn't weird at all. Everyone I know who has a dog does this. They drive their dogs to the store, to pick the kids up from school and mostly just because dogs like it.
126. Michelle said:
Good job on keeping up with the walks. My dog is super jealous!
I saw you guys out on a walk with Chuck the other day, thought to myself that the dog was super cute and looked very familiar - looked at the people and recognized them too. I had to immediately call my husband and tell him that I saw Chuck the Dog in real life! He is even cuter in person.
The new website is looking great as well!
127. Rebecca said:
I can top that. Our Bean lies on her bed in the corner while "this" and "that" are happening, loudly and repeatedly sighing. It's the kind of sigh you might expect from someone who has just been told that their airplane will be stuck on the runway for the next eight hours, with only the on-flight movie, Are We There Yet?, for entertainment. She's just that bored and underwhelmed. But as bad as the sighing is, the worst is when, near the finish line, if you know what I mean, she starts snoring very, very loudly. That right there just kills your mojo.
128. Connie said:
At least Leta hasn't attempted to EAT Chuck's tail.
This is pretty much the reason why my cat chooses to leave the room every time my nephew crawls in.
129. snooze said:
Yup - have dog will travel. Our lab seems to get drowsey when we put her in the back of the beetle.
Oh -- and by the way -- you did break their server - I can't see any pictures (Posters about modesty and grooming standards for students at BYU (oops, I think I might have killed their server))
;-)
130. Robin said:
And it's because of entries like this that you are the Queen of the Internets.
Brilliant.
131. kirtyhoo said:
At our house, I've completely forgotten that Beasley's a dog. On most days, he beats out my husband and teenagers as my favorite child. Doesn't require unlimited texting, doesn't promise to put up Christmas lights and do the dishes, and doesn't roll over first thing in the morning and start hinting about getting my day off with a bang! Isn't that why God invented coffee?
Anyhoo, Beasley LOVES going for rides and has discovered that our local drive-thru coffee shop has Milkbone treats. Yesterday, we failed to roll his window down as we pulled up for our order. There he was poking his head up front until the gal said, "can your dog have a treat?". Bliss. Mind you, Beasley HATES Milkbone biscuits at home. We're convinced that he's got a thing for the cute barista.
Puts a smile on my face when I see other dogs riding up front with their parents -- I know that's a good-hearted person.
132. carolyn said:
OH yes, I can relate. Our 2 dogs live in our car! Ha, a day isn't complete without a C-A-R-R-I-D-E.
133. Lovesick Billy said:
We take our Yorkie everywhere too; you're not mad. More importantly, does your notoriety/fame conspicuously affect Leta's teachers and the other parents? Do you suspect that in the vast cultural landscape which is SLC, that they're not holding secret pools to wager on whom gets mentioned first? Just curious. Love ya, mean it.
134. cherie said:
This is not really relevant, but I just wanted to say thankyou for linking to etsy sellers in your daily style section. I get so excited when I see you mention specific sellers, and then their views skyrocket! I'm addicted to Etsy!
135. KatieC said:
Dogs are part of the family. If the family goes out, why wouldn't the dog go out, too? If the family sleeps on beds, why wouldn't the dog, also, sleep on a bed?
It's only logical.
137. Jules said:
Is GEORGE! going to do a series of tutorials on the pineapple bomb and the target spitting?
Jules
136. Katrena said:
My husband hates animals so I have to live vicarously through you. When I was a kid we took our dog everywhere too. He always wanted to go with us - then we he got in the car, he would always freak out and act miserable. This happened every time! You think he would learn his lesson. I guess he was a glutton for punishment. I miss that dog.
138. LMR said:
Haha, Heather really did kill the BYU server!
I really wanted to see those pictures as well, and now they have a comment up saying: "We're currently experiencing an extremely high volume of traffic. Thumbnails and images may not load correctly during this time." Damn!
139. Elaine said:
I have a senior citizen Yorkie-Poo pound puppy who's now about 14 years old. When it's cold out, I heat up a doggie heat disc in the microwave, and he sits on that in the front seat. When my husband rides with us, Biscuit looks like he's seriously inconvenienced to sit in the back with the kids.
Love, Love, Love your blog, and look forward to it daily!
140. Hannah said:
I wonder if BYU is going to figure out that you're the reason they have so many visitors? You'll have to keep us posted if you hear from their webmaster.
141. Jess said:
When I was six, I wrote a small essay at school about how my parents didn't allow me to have breakfast, ever. Apparently my parents underwent quite the interrogation from my teacher after that. I have no recollection of this event or why I would possibly have made such a claim, so all I can say is: at least Leta's outlandish stories have SOME grounding in reality.
142. Jenn said:
I love Chuck. Seriously, I love your dog and your stories about your dog - they are the best part of this website. Well, that and the fact that you are the goddess of the internets.
143. Susan JL said:
I love to read your stories. You make me laugh and I thank you for that. I enjoy reading about your family and Chuck. I believe that children have fantastic imaginations limitless because they do not know the boundaries that we do. It is for this reason that I will be working with children (I'm an Elem Ed major) and not adults.
144. Amber said:
Chuck is grossed out by human sex? That sounds refreshing compared to my house, where we sometimes have to block the cats from climbing on us or taking our distractedness as an opportunity to sniff our nipples.
145. megan said:
I take my dog Buddy Holly everywhere with me, too. Today he got his own scoop of ice cream at the frozen custard place (fed to him with a spoon, no less, because he flips the bowl when he tries to lick it out) and then he got to ride in a tow truck.
146. Misty Dawn said:
First of all, let me tell you that you are absolutely hilarious and I LOVE your blog!
I AM a dog-obsessed person. Heck, my blog is titled and based on my dogs. I have three Border Collies, and they are the loves of my life (other than my husband... sometimes). I'm one of those persons who has no human children of her own, so she treats and talks about her dogs as if they were her children... yeah, I get strange looks and comments ALL the time... but I don't care - I know I'm wacky.
147. Tara's Mom said:
I didn't think there could be anybody else on the planet that experiences life the way I do...and then I found you! You are a reason!
Love the new site!
148. Anna said:
In my family, bringing dogs along in the car for no reason other than "because they want to come along" is perfectly normal.
DOG IS YOUR CO-PILOT
149. Kat said:
Fabulous post.
I was not expecting an open comments section, much less one filled with tales of lovin' in front of one's dogs.
I am so happy right now!
150. Anonymous said:
I always took my dog (golden retriever) wherever I went. She knew what kind of day we were going to have by the way I dressed in the morning. If I dressed up, it meant we were going for a ride, if it was jeans, it was a stay home day.
I love Chuck!
151. Jill Shalvis said:
Someone's been watching my favorite show The Dog Whisperer.
I take my dog wherever I can, she loves being involved in things, it makes her happy. And a happy dog doesn't poop in the house.
152. Pam said:
Every time we ya know, have sex, Our lab eats my husbands underwear as retribution for making Mommy go like "that".
153. samantha wedelich said:
my friend from work does the same thing.... every morning when her husband would drop her off, there'd be puma, the italian greyhound sitting in her warmed seat looking at us as her husband pulled away from the curb.
i don't have pets, so speaking as an outsider, i always thought it was kind of cute.... not that weird at all. now people with the dog strollers... that crosses a line for me.
154. Misstress of Mixology said:
Brilliant piece, as always.
Dooce, you're magnificent. Please keep up the excellence.
155. Salena said:
I love to go like this and like that...now that's funny.
Your blog is just phenomenal and I never miss a day.
I want you to adopt me. I have skills:
I cook like MAD and I'm GREAT at it.
I drive an 18-wheeler (I don't know when this would come in handy, but it's a cool skill).
I baby-sit (dogs and kids).
I know where Utah is.
I own thousands of lipglosses which I am willing to share.
Oh, there are just too many others to list....
You rock. Leta is the bomb. Jon is an Angel and Chuck......well, Chuck just deserves smooches!!!
Ciao!
156. Alex said:
Just wanted to join the others here who have thanked you for your website, writing, funny stories etc.
I check your website everyday with anticipation of your latest story - and of course LOVE the pictures of Chuck!
157. Ellen said:
We have four dogs, and this is essentially the treatment they get: One of them will misbehave, but then she'll wag her tail with sickening cuteness and beg and beg and BEG for whatever she wants until someone gives in. I can totally relate to that entry.
158. saucygrrl said:
Forget about going this way or that way, Hooper goes so far as to physically separate Sean and I if we even so much as have a fully clothed loving embrace in the hallway.
And, dude, Hooper goes EVERYWHERE with us. He just loves car rides, nothin wrong with that.
159. John LeJeune said:
Excuse me while I wipe the tears from my eyes, because I was laughing so hard. If I ever pee my pants reading your stuff at work, you are in big trouble Ms. Wondrous Being of Light and Splendor. Please sprinkle some dooce dust on me, so I too can write at least half as good as you do.
160. hellohahanarf said:
i had to buy a larger vehicle in order to take my pups with me. the "little one" (50 pounds) takes up the entire front seat and the "puppy" (90 pounds) takes up the whole back seat so i couldn't carry a passenger unless i got a bigger car than my little old volvo. so now we have a 7 passenger suv. for me and my 2 dogs. try not to judge me. or make fun of me.
thanks.
p.s. "dooce dust" cracked me up, john l.
161. Anonymous said:
My dog loves bye-bye, too. But she is small and sits on my lap, but then wants to get as close to the outside as possible, so she tries to climb up on the dashboard. It is getting harder and harder to take her anywhere alone. Very short trips only. The guy across the street from us used to have a dauchshund (sp?) and would put it in the baby's bike seat and take it for bike rides.
162. manda said:
When my daughter won't take her medicine, I always hold her favorite doll (a girl she named 'Gary') over the trash can until she takes it. It works almost as well as when I hold a big plastic spider over head and tell her to take her medicine before it eats her.
163. Miss Hass said:
Ahh...Chuck. He's so awesome.
I take my often carsick dog with me as many places as I can. We always get a lot of smiles when we go for rides because she likes to watch the world go by.
164. The Domestic Goddess said:
I am glad I am not the only one who cannot throw away the Tarzhay circular for fear of retribution from my manic child. Not only that, but my father mails him the funnies from the Sunday Paper (even though we get the paper) and HE KEEPS EVERY STINKING ONE OF THEM. All of them. I cannot throw them away.
165. Dorothy Stahlnecker said:
Good luck reading all this stuff..no wonder you closed comments this is overwhelming.
Dorothy from gramology
remember to call your gram
166. Hope said:
Hey you opened comments. Need comments more often! Just wanted to say - keep up the great job, your blog is the first blog ever to have gotten my attention. Now I blog too, but of course not nearly as amazingly as you
167. wrf3 said:
And to whoever nominated you for Valedectorian of the Internet, I officially Second it.
All in favor?
So say we all.
168. Kathy G said:
I have a Leta. Her name is Lydia (maybe it's the "L" in their names?) Okay, Lydia's not as cute and adorable as your Leta (I say that because this is, after all, your blog). When she was Leta's age I had to peel her off the floor about as often as you do. I wish I'd had a camera to take fun pictures of her temper tantrums. Now she's 11. She doesn't throw screaming fits as much these days but I do what you do and cut to the threat of immediate horrible punishment. Obey or you can't have your birthday party. Obey or you can't go swimming with your friends. Whatever it is. One night it was you can't bake the cookie dough you just made. You'd have thought an earthquake had split apart our house with the amount of wailing that transpired. But it works! Wonder of wonder. It prompts obedience. At least for now.
169. Shar said:
WAH :(
I wanna see the pic of Chuck using the toilet!
Please
170. She Likes Purple said:
I agree, the bringing it full circle is what you do best. And it inspires me to be a better writer.
171. Misty Dawn said:
OK - I had typed this comment once about an hour ago, but the blogosphere ate it... so, I'm typing it again.
I wanted to tell you that I think you are absolutely hilarious and a wonderful writer - I love your blog.
Also, I wanted to say that I am a self-proclaimed dog-addict. I have three Border Collies (and I want more dogs), and they are the loves of my life (besides my husband... sometimes). I am one of those persons who does not have any children of my own, so I treat and talk about my dogs like they are my children... yes, I get the strange looks and whispering behind my back... but, I don't care - I've accepted that I'm wacky and I'm proud of it :-)
172. sara said:
I laughed, I cried.
Oh, and another vote for Valedictorian of the Internet. However, you will be required to wear a sash and tiara at all times.
173. kris said:
i am curious, was chuck the dog the first child?
if so, this is all starting to make sense to me.
p.s. good thing cousin chuck moved out, although i think he might miss your home cookin'
174. dukesucks said:
the litmus test for my mate: he must be agreeable to a little italian greyhound and an unmovable rock of a pit bull in bed with us. because yes, i am a crazy dog person also.
it worked out. we've been happily together with our dog children for 3 years.
175. Eleanor said:
I miss that about teaching daycare- kids have the most bizare perspective on the world. Recently I found a book I made at that age in school where I said my mom's favorite food was salad. In retrospect, bless her heart, the woman was dieting- she had three kids. It made me wanna buy her a steak and a plate of gooey pasta immediately.
176. Tiggerlane said:
Okay, enough already! I am a bad dog parent - and I know it. I KNOW that I need to walk my dog daily - so dammit, now that you've done it, I have no excuse. You and Cesar.
At least it sounds like it really HAS improved the Chuck relationship - so maybe my dog will act normal if I do this.
DAMN the peer pressure!
177. nakedjen said:
I have been reading your blog since before Leta was born. I am a huge fan of Chuck's and love that he's going for walks every day. Dogs love their walks! I also love that Leta thinks he lives in the car.
Because of circumstances beyond my control, I'm about to move to SLC. Yes, it's true. Buddha and Stella and I (Oh, I know you don't know who we are, but wait...maybe we'll bump into you and Chuck on a walk??) will soon be going for our twice daily walks every day in SLC instead of in Santa Cruz. I've been promised there are decent dog parks there!
I'm just hoping my spoiled Labradors think the snow is just as much fun as the beach. Perhaps Chuck can show them how to balance things on their heads so they think this move is more than just a change of address for their dog mama and instead is about learning new tricks?
178. samin said:
wait a minute....where's the photo of chuck on the toilet????
179. Miss D said:
Love the post! And I love the tale of redemption-through-daily-walking so much I'm going to use it to illustrate an earnest dog-walking post. We're new to puppy ownership down under here, and were deeply dismayed the first time things went like this and like that and the dog decided to play "let's make a groodle sandwich..."
180. Katie said:
My dog hides in her crate and cowers while we, um, do this and that, if you know what I mean. There was that one time, though, that I think she got disoriented and hopped on the bed and accidentally touched my husband's nether regions with her nose. It traumatized both of them. If she hears the slightest sounds of lovin' now, she hops off the bed faster than you can blink. She's even been known to CLOSE the crate door behind her, somehow.
181. mrf said:
great post. What a concept, the dog getting off the bed when mommy and daddy have "special couple time." Our three standard poodles just stay up on the bed thru the whole thing , one of them always lays on the other side of me till it is "done." God, typing this I realize that it's wrong ... just weird and so wrong. Perhaps Chuck could have a workshop for other dogs? His breakout session, "When The Lights Go Out: Are They At it Again?"
182. foxygreen said:
Heather I love reading your blog so much! It always brightens my mood. Thanks so much for sharing your stories and observations for the greater good of the internet and my life :)
183. Alicia said:
You make me laugh, Heather!
Keep up the great work :)
184. Lynn said:
My parent's little dog totally starts humping her stuffed animals when the passion starts. And it's really scary that I know this.
185. Anonymous said:
Our friends took their 3 year old girl shopping. They got to the checkout with the items, and the mother realised she didn't have enough cash on her, and said so. Their daughter piped up 'That's because you spent all our money on Whiskey!'
Silence and a stare from the checkout operator, until she explained that their dog is named Whisky, and they had just been to buy him a new bed.
186. Stellare said:
I find it perfectly normal to bring the dog along in the car - all the time. In fact, when I grew up, we sometimes took the dog for a ride solely to please the dog. This dog simply loved car riding. No, dogs in cars make totally sense to me.
187. Jackie said:
Taking your dog around in your car is totally normal... and to be honest, I'm not even that weirded out by the toilet picture, but I do find it unnerving when people put sweaters on their dogs. It's just so redundant.
188. Kathy said:
Word to the poster who said crazy dog person sounds much saner than crazy cat person. If I could get my cat in the car I would, but she'd just bolt. We've only just accepted that if she wants to go out, she has to get in the carrier. (The leash thing? Did not work.)
189. Kate said:
I wish I lived in Utah so I could send my four year old son to school with Leta. He loves controlling women with unreasonable demands, and their packrat tendencies would go so well together. It'd be a match made in OCD-impossible-to-please heaven.
190. Icanread said:
you=word wizard.
191. Icanread said:
you want me dead??????oh mannnnn. My word verification for my last comment was "must suicidal". I mean, you just could have SAID it Heather,,,,sobbing ensues.
192. JA said:
This is why I so love reading your blog...
Thank you.
193. Corrin said:
Oliver, the cutest wiener dog ever, goes everywhere with us, so it's totally normal for Chuck to be your co-pilot.
194. Joy said:
I too cannot resist my dog Wilbur's eyes when it comes to drving in the car. In fact, he's doing it right now...gotta go.
195. Anonymous said:
That is hilarious! You have a talent for communicating the simple things in life in a way that I can't help but laugh out loud!