A list of sorts

1. Several people have written to express their frustration over the fee to get into SXSW to see my panel next week (I totally understand), so right now I’m trying to arrange a meet-up somewhere in downtown Austin, probably at a coffee shop, for Saturday morning (March 8th). Once I know the specific details I let you know the when and the where.

2. Coco pooped in the car yesterday. In the car. While we were driving.

3. I have a manuscript due in about a week. There’s this quote I heard once, I don’t remember who said it, but it was a writer, and when asked about her favorite part of writing a book she said something like, “When it was over.” THOSE ARE THE TRUEST WORDS EVER UTTERED.

4. It’s a little late in the month to address the masthead at the top of the page, but I feel I need to calm any lingering fears over whether or not Chuck is dead. He is not. He is alive and moody. The masthead was designed to celebrate the 7th birthday of this website, and that cursive font was a bad choice because some people thought it said ADIEU when in fact it says BODIED, and when set against Chuck’s head it looked very much like a tombstone, or at least I was told so. Sorry for the confusion, I’ll try harder next time to be clearer about my message. Also, yes, I know you’re not supposed to give grapes to dogs, I promise he didn’t eat any, although he wasn’t interested in them anyway as they weren’t made out of cow.

5. It’s a tradition around here to open comments on the birthday of the website, so I thought I’d mix things up a bit this year and turn it into a contest. What should my March tagline be? Winner, as chosen by the official panel of judges (me), gets a $50 iTunes gift card.


  • http://www.myspace.com/heddajo Heather

    My dog pooped in the car once while driving home from the dog park. She was about 4 months old. My husband thought it was hilarious, but that was most likely because he was not in the car to experience it.

    “Pooping anywhere other than in the car is unthinkable”

  • http://lenexicon.blogspot.com/ Megan

    “Ready for Spring Break”

  • Anonymous

    A constant, fluid painting of feces


    All your poop is belong to us




    In like a hippo

  • Amy

    Dooce: Bloghood of the Travelin’ Poop


    Dooce: At least SOMEBODY’S bowels are moving.

  • Katie

    Crikeys. Over a thousand comments?!

  • Betsey

    You should make the masthead include something about the ides of march and feature Chuck wearing a grimreaper hood and possibly also include something with a sicle (sp?) and flowers to address spring and growth. That would be cool.

  • shakespearecub

    How about:

    Rejecting and Denouncing since 2001

  • http://www.annanewell.com/ anna newell


    3 + 2 + poop

  • CJM

    I don’t have a recommendation of my own but I did love Jordan’s:

    “Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001″

    I am going to use that line on the Mother-In-Law.Only I’ve been ignoring her since 1993. She still doesn’t get it.

  • Angie

    Heather, Not sure if you’ve gotten this suggestion yet but Mozart’s is a great, spacious coffee house near downtown Austin. Wish I could meet you there – I’d buy you a latte (or whatever coffee-like concoction you fancy) but alas, no Austin bound trips in my immediate future. Also next to Mozart’s is the Hula Hut where you would surely enjoy a tubular taco and Mexican martini.

  • http://www.faceofthecookie.com Kiala

    How about

    Dooce: Funnier than Face of the Cookie


    Dooce: Only Poops in Your Car Every Other Day

  • Anonymous

    In the infamous words of Paul Simon, “Still crazy after all these years…” Or, in the not so infamous words of Brenda from Wisconsin, “Still bitter after all these years…”

  • K8T

    A Dooce in the Car is Worth Two on the Carpet

  • Virginia

    “Leta’s Pita Envelopes Eight Little Paws”

  • Anonymous

    ‘It’s my website and I’ll write what I want to”.

  • Kate

    coco poop – better than new car smell

  • sarabeth

    March Madness

  • Allison

    in like a lion and out like dooce

  • Jane

    In like a lion, out like a Dooce.

    Spring forward, falling Dooce.

  • http://lovegeeks.org Esther

    Yay, I’m going to be there. Maybe I won’t be shy and I’ll come say hi.

  • http://skblanken64.typepad.com sharon

    LOVE the dog leash thing. MY youngest dog is on a leash all the time.. she wont leave my older dog alone. The young one is a 3 yr old pitbull mix.. the older one is a13 and and australian cattle dog mix.. the leash is the only way we can control the excitement level.

    that being said your site is the bomb I love opening your pictures!!! they are so awesome!

  • TheSizzler

    “Choose the wrong”


    “Spring comes late to the Beehive State.”

  • anginak

    Pic of Coco and ‘What’s the poop?’ or ‘Here’s the poop.’


    Coco’s the poo…. so take a big whiff.

  • Isabelle

    “Chuck-Coco’s Exploited Excrement’s Eradicating Excessively Cleaned Empires”
    Meant to be a tongue twister if said really fast without reading it :D

  • Anonymous

    Um, “Drink your milkshake” is played out. 3 months ago wants their joke back.

    Were people that dumb re: thinking Chuck was dead? And they have enough time on their hands to email you about it? I heard that Paul was dead bc he was barefoot on Abbey Road. Chuck is a dog; He’s always barefoot! OMG! Is Chuck the living dead?

  • raindrop74

    Voting for 124, 98, 56 & 93.

    And here are mine:

    Dooce: Barfeet, Biscuits & BBQ Sauce

    Dooce: Spreading it since 2001

    Dooce: Like a charlie horse in the groin.

  • LB

    “Praise Jesus for Daylight Savings.”

    “The Church of Coco Puffs of Every-Day Poops”

    “Dooce: Older than YouTube and Facebook combined”

  • Lauren

    OK, this is terrible of me but here’s another:

    Dooce: Not as crazy as Britney.

  • Isabelle

    OOPS!! I didn’t mean to add that extra apostrophe …

    So it really, really should read:
    “Chuck-Coco’s Exploited Excrements Eradicating Excessively Cleaned Empires!”

  • BD

    pic of Coco (its her turn to star on the masthead) with the tagline “a great website…for me to poop on.”

  • JLJ

    Happy Birthday to Heather’s website!

    How about “Poop in a Car. The Truest Words Ever Uttered.”

    No. Just kidding. Ha. Well, kind of.


    “Dooce: True Words Not Made From A Cow”

    Sigh. Not making any sense today. I think I need more sleep but the new baby prevents it, often just by being really cute but mostly by being very hungry.

  • Katy

    toeing the ethical line since 2001 and loving every minute of it

  • Southern Yankee

    “You can wipe it off, but the aroma still lingers…”

  • jennifer


  • http://www.sfrontato.blogspot.com Juliness

    What really made me laugh was the story of the guy in the karaokae bar who, after asking if people knew you and being rewarded by blank stares – said, “Don’t you people go on the internet?”

    Now that’s a tagline.

  • Alyson

    Lady Coco – Queen of Poo & Pee
    King Chuck – King of everything else (including Dooce)

  • http://www.ainsworthstudio.com Josh Read

    In honor of coco pooping in your car, i believe the tagline should be: “Where in the world is Poopaski?” It makes no sense, but does it need to?

  • http://www.blog.sunrunnercreations.com Erika

    Either “Taking a break from Poop Patrol” or “March Madness” or “Dooce: March Madness & Mumblings”

  • http://www.brandymilne.ca Brandaaaw

    “Dooce: it’s better than crack!”

    “Feck March I’m going with July!”

    Seven whole years and yes Dooce is my morning crack, love it!

  • Amanda

    Yours for the bargain price of four livers and half a kidney.

  • Keith

    “Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public.”

    –Winston Churchill

    I don’t have a cheeky masthead idea, but probably something life affirming for Chuck’s sake: “alive and licking…”

  • http://www.aparentinsilverspring.com Jessica

    The Legend of Chuckcococabra

  • Darleen

    I’m Cuckoo for Coco Furrocious

  • http://www.knewlove.com/blog kathleen newlove

    i vote for #144

    #13 is good too

    i am not funny and have no suggestion of my own.

    happy anniversary

  • Lisa

    Dooce: Better than a car full of dog poop

  • Kate

    No Shit!

  • ZC

    85 and sunny
    Et tu, Coco?
    Putting on a happy face
    291 shopping days til Christmas
    National Kidney Month (really)
    National Frozen Food Month (really)
    Mistress of poop
    Master of my domain

  • Nancy King

    Two-dog-toddler-crazy- sahm
    Now, get me a bourbon

  • http://anitasbutt.deviantart.com Amy Lynne

    Happy 7th Birthday to the Dooce Website!

    As for ideas regarding the March tagline…

    “Make like orange juice, and concentrate!”

  • Gord

    Borrow shamelessly from Dan Jenkins:

    “Life Its Ownself”