• Anonymous

    So this is Ashlee! No wonder she’s so damn unhappy.


  • Festi

    Agnes – It’s the Easter season, fcol. Show some compassion. You know, that whole “greatest commandment” thingy?

  • http://sol.pupazzo.org Sol

    It is a victory to know that such idiotic people hate you. If they loved you, you’d have to think you’re doing something wrong.
    Heather, you’re way too good…why you didn’t publish their emails? Many of us would surely love to give some love back. hee

  • Lisa W.

    I don’t know if it’s a Web phenomena, or because George W. Bush, Jr. is in the White House, but certainly some people think they can forget human civility when posting online comments. Maybe because you share so much with us, that we think we know you. And the meanies among us think that gives them the right to attack, just like you’re a relative or an ex-husband. I find it sad and disturbing to read such venom. Perhaps you shouldn’t give them any more encouragement by publishing their hatefulness.

  • jennifer in sf

    a. I can’t believe someone would get so worked up about being bored because of something they CHOSE to do, that they would write an email about it.

    b. This is pretty obvious, but I’m not sure where Ashlee gets off critiquing the writing of, well, anyone else. Especially because I strongly suspect she may have spelled her own name wrong.

    Also, you are clearly awesome.

  • Jenna

    We love you Heather,
    Oh yes we dooooo(ce)!
    We love you Heather,
    And we’ll be true!
    When you don’t write blogs,
    Oh Heather, (and Leta and Jon and Chuck and Coco)
    We love yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

    The End

  • Johanna

    Dear Heather.
    It hurt my eyes to read this hate mail. Your site is the most fun, beautiful, and honest.
    You are the mother to a beautiful child. And you are an excellent writer.
    Keep them posts coming!!


  • Dara

    OMG… the fucktards have found your website!

    In their honor, you should do a shot or three of bourbon, straight up. Then come write about it.

    hahahaha. :)

  • http://justjuneyor.blogspot.com/ juneyor

    My cat totally has the hots for chuck. Just don’t ask her about it she’ll deny everything.

  • http://www.worldwiderolves.blogspot.com Nancy R

    ***Patiently waiting for the day Chuck balances Coco on his head.***

  • http://lovelyopinionated.wordpress.com Leanne

    Eh, screw them!

    Maybe they’re secretly jealous that their dogs can’t balance things on their heads.

    And also, since you’re the 5th most powerful blogger in the world, they can put that in their pipe and smoke it!

  • http://www.amypenrose.com Amy

    did you reply back with a picture of you winning “weblog of the year”?

  • DominEditrix

    I especially liked how you reached out with your amazing telepathic powers and gave Kent “no choice but to click over and read your website”. Poor man, pinned there to his desk chair, battered by the deadly mind-control of Heather A, trapped in a world he never made…

    I agree, more Chuck-with-things-on-his-head. !!!!

  • http://www.aliceqfoodie.com Alice Q. Foodie

    This really just serves to prove how lucky and good you are. Only the most successful bloggers can can engender such irrational self-righteous displays of envy and insanity. Congratulations!

  • Chad


  • SwissBabs

    Hateful messages in the name of God are always the best! *rolls eyes*

    I don’t know how you deal with all the hate mail, maybe the fact that it is obviously written by people who have a LITTLE something wrong in their head makes it easier for you to ignore.

    I love this blog. I stumbled upon in in November and have read back everything, I finally caught up tonight. YAY! Hey, winter sucks and I have no dog to take for a walk, I might as well be sat in front of my computer ;o)

  • Allison

    I’ve never posted a comment here before, but reading these letters made me laugh so hard. You are my hero for openly mocking the assholes who actually take the time to write stupid and hateful things to you.

    On my scale of coolness, you’re right up there with Mr. T, and that’s pretty damn good. If you and Mr. T were to be in a room together, my head might explode from all the simultaneous awesomeness occurring.

  • Nicole

    You can bring a smile to my face on the worst of days.

  • LT

    I am 57 years YOUNG and I get the biggest kick out of your website every day. I absolutely love your wit. (must be all those drugs from the 60′s).
    I am also a successful business woman and thank GOD I don’t take it all too seriously. I hope for you continued success 100 times over. (and keep that tongue in your cheek and that medication on the shelf and a big ass smile all the way to the bank)

    Probably your oldest fan!!!

  • SwissBabs

    Hateful messages in the name of God are always the best! *rolls eyes*

    I don’t know how you deal with all the hate mail, maybe the fact that it is obviously written by people who have a LITTLE something wrong in their head makes it easier for you to ignore.

    I love this blog. I stumbled upon in in November and have read back everything, I finally caught up tonight. YAY! Hey, winter sucks and I have no dog to take for a walk, I might as well be sat in front of my computer ;o)

  • http://www.merrywifeofcanon.com Somer

    Religious zealots……my God. How can someone who claims to be religious be so venomous? I think you are fantastic and funny. You have more personality than so many other people, including the cumwads that take time out of their busy cross burning lives to send you trash like that. Religious beliefs aside, you are insanely smart, funny, and a good wife and mother. This post totally flips the bird to those asshats, and I love that about you.

  • Glori

    It’s shocking what people will say when they think they can hide behind a computer screen. People who behave like that aren’t even worth the attention, they are just sad.

    I for one (of apparently many) enjoy reading your blog every single day – it always makes me smile and laugh. I know 1,000 people have already said this, but you rock!

  • Anonymous

    The emails from this hate mail cycle seemed particularly vicious. Jerks. I’m sure you won’t get this far – hell, I only read to the bottom of the first page, comment 300 – but I just wanted to reaffirm what everyone else has been saying.

    1. I adore your writing, your blog, your everything.
    2. People are fucktards sometimes.

    You’re an amazing woman, writer, mother, wife, and you’ve saved more lives with your blog (and I mean that quite literally) than you will ever know. You’ve also figuratively saved my life more than once, but I’m not sure if you know truly how many people you have helped. It’s a lot. A LOT.

  • Ann

    So the crazies are flooding you with rank, rancid email. As if you don’t have enough on your plate! Too many people carry this freedom of speech thing too far. Too many people have been poisoned by religion, pop culture, and rotten schools. If you take the time to respond to the trash, I’m afraid you’re taking these demonic, moronic guys seriously. I’m afraid the trash-talkers are getting to you. Carry on, Dooce! We know you will!

  • http://bloginate.blogspot.com/ Jennie

    Hoo boy, with readers like these, who needs “Cheaters” on TV?

    Gawd. That’s all I can say. Gawd.

    (Plus, dude, I am totally teaching our new dog to balance things on her head. Because that right there is worth the price of admission! Also, I want to teach her the command, “Recycle.” Because I do not live far from Berkeley.)

  • http://thatbeautifuldisaster.blogspot.com Kylie

    How on earth you manage to keep calm in the face of so many unwarranted, nasty and downright INSANE emails is a freakin’ miracle!

    The fact that you handle situations such as these with the grace that you do, speaks volumes about your character. You totally rock.

    Oh, and please DO NOT EVER stop writing – you make me smile on the days my depression doesn’t respond to anything else.

  • Tom in Indiana

    sometimes you are pretty self-indulgent and disrespectful, but you’re always entertaining.

    which reminds me of everyone I have ever met (except for about 5 or 6 saintly individuals) minus the entertaining part.

    thanks for the site.

  • http://theramblingsofagenxmom.blogspot.com/ iris

    you have 919+ comments of how much people love you…
    that has to feel awesome!
    This world needs more people like you, ambitious, funny, creative…
    You and Jon have made this a better world with having Leta, and Lord willing… you may have a chance to make it even better by adding one/few more!
    Love to you, Jon, Leta, Coco and Chuck-

    Congrats on your awards!

  • http://www.dailydaph.wordpress.com Chelsie

    It is fascinating how hypocritically contradictory people are today! Everyone of these people would surely say they are good, yet look at what they say. I really can’t believe how many people I know who are innocent victims of others wrath, unhappiness, wont for attention, and simmering fury at their own lacking. Although it sounds banal, I mean this statement with the full force of each of these words: SHAME ON THEM.

    All you have done here is share your love for life, and the struggles and pain that make the good all the sweeter, with people. It brings me to tears (and I’ve been referred to by my own husband as heartless) that people would be so mean in laughably mean (in the case of Leta- I mean, she’s gorgeous) and spiritually inhumane (regarding your miscarriage).

    I wish you all the best and sincerely thank you for sharing so much of yourself with The Interweb.

  • Becca

    I started reading this blog when the bloggy awards came out out. I love it! I think it’s amazing that you are so good at writing online, you don’t need a “real” job because of it. Heck, I’d stay home and blog all day if gave me an income! Keep up the good work! And please, have lots more children.

  • http://greatdayinmaine.blogspot.com Leesavee

    Hey, Agnes…may I politely suggest that you read the Gospels and notice how tolerant Jesus was?

    Heather, you ROCK! And I bet that none of the people who send you hate mail were valedictorians. In fact, they could use some remedial spelling and grammar classes.

    Also, I love it when you balance things on Chuck’s head. Leta is BEAUTIFUL, you are artistic (not autistic) and Jon is an awesome guy. Thank you for inviting us into your little corner of the universe.

  • karyn

    I started a website a few years ago, got one angry hateful email, cried for days, and took the website down. I was deeply shocked that some stranger could be so hurtful to little ole’ me. Kudos to you for making fun of these douchebags and not letting them make you cry like I did. I wish that you could kidnap Kent and take photos of Chuck balancing him on his head. But, people who get kidnapped are usually of some value to someone, so Kent is not really kidnap-worthy.

  • http://jesuisserieux.blogspot.com/ Eve Grey

    OMG, you’re fucking brilliant. That was hilarious on soooo many levels. I LOVE religious fanatics & people who use, incorrect; punctuation. They, rock?!

  • lectric lady

    You don’t need to put up with this s**t. You don’t need to have open comments. Political blogs need comments. Yours does not. Your blog is your reflection of YOUR life. No one has the right to comment on it. If I were you, I would just keep the comments closed.

  • Amber

    People are morons. I love the one who tells you you can’t write, I’m not even going to count the spelling and grammar mistakes…

    But that miscarriage comment was so far out of line it’s not even remotely funny. What the hell is wrong with people! She had no right to say that to you and I apologize on her behalf for being such a fucking idiot.

    Love you!

  • Chris

    Well over 900 of us can’t be wrong. If Kent/Alana/Krista/Ashlee/Agnes/Nomen/sb700 and any others had the balls to BRING IT rather than hide behind a computer screen, we could all just go and sit on them. Also, as per your example I am teaching my dog to balance things on his head. I love you, he does not. Though I think he’s secretly in love w/ Chuck, ’cause he looks at my computer screen all longingly when his pic comes up.

  • webgrrlie

    heather, i know i tell you every time i write you how awesome you are, but since i haven’t written to you this month… heather, you are SO AWESOME!! i adore you, girl :)

    and by the way, i love, love these email summary posts, because i read them out loud to my husband, and we both just crack up. just what i needed today!

  • Linda

    I work with a bunch of Dooce-aholics. Dooce has become an obsession – its a noun and a verb and sometimes an adjective. Walking around in cubeland, you see that distinctive web header and know that your colleagues are “Doocing”. After an especially funny post – we’ll lean over or yell through the wall and ask a cube mate if they’ve “Dooced” today. Its a guilty pleasure that makes our days better.
    Your site is great – you deserve all of your rewards because you’re allowing people a glimpse into your life and the lives of your family. Unfortunately, these people turn around and flash you a full frontal shot of their unkempt ugliness…but damn…it makes for some good reading. They’re just jealous because they with they would have thought of it first.

  • http://www.switchyard.blogspot.com Rachel

    You are one tough lady Heather, because I don’t know that my shiny impression of humanity could hold up after getting letters like these.

  • Christina

    I totally love your blog, and the photos of Chuck. Chuck is such a cute dog with so much personality, even if he’s only balancing something on his head (seriously who did that guy think he was???)

    You Rock!

  • http://www.youshouldtryharder.com Adie

    You are awesome. Everyone else sucks.

  • katy

    I just wanted to say that I admire you so much. It takes a strong person to be so open about your struggles. You’ve been through so much, and you didn’t let it break you, and I know that many people would kill to have your courage.

    Plus, you’re hilarious and that requires a good bid of admiration, as well.

    Some people are just crazy enough to think that judging other people is in any way righteous or acceptable and you’re absolutely right when you say that we should pity them.

  • Jaime

    Thank you for sharing. I needed the laugh this morning. It’s amazing how ignorant some people are. They can’t even spell or use proper grammar (that should have been learned by the 6th grade.)

  • fi

    go dooce!!!!!!!

  • Heather

    When I saw exclamation edition was up I had to go refill my cup of coffee. I was savoring this post. You should make a collection of the hatemail, beside each hatemail email have a picture of the author. It would be the best coffee table book in the whole world. I would love to see the oh so very good looking people behind the hate mail. Funny how you can tell exactly what someone looks like by what they write.

  • http://goingtobeparents.blogspot.com starfish

    Just in case you have some kind of weak moment when you think any of the bullshit you quote here might even have an iota of truth to it…IT DOESN’T.

    You are brilliant. Your posts never fail to make me laugh out loud. You are honest, witty, and intelligent. You are fabulous. Don’t ever forget that. Really.

  • Cornelia

    For some reason, the statement from Krista really bothers me a lot. Not that the others aren’t even more outrageously obnoxious. But there’s something wrong about her telling you how to groom your childs hair. And the religious nut commenting about your miscarriage is a total idiot. I also agree that this batch of idiot letters seems to be particularly harsh and or brutal. So when do we get to see coco balancing things on her head??? Not that I haven’t stopped adoring Santa’s Little Helper- oops I meant Chuck.

  • Carole

    Those people that write these horrid things to you never cease to amaze me. You however also continue to amaze me with your biting and hilarious responses. You crack my shit up. I for one love your website. You are a great mom and your comments on depression have helped me tremendously. You rock.

  • http://fashionablecommute.blogspot.com JennieB!

    Whoa. I always thought that waiting in line at the DMV in San Francisco offered a scary glimpse of humanity.

    This is out and out frightening. Good on you for being strong enough to process all of it, and to find such choice snippets to share.

  • Wendalette

    I’m sure your eyes have glazed over from reading all these comments and that your teeth hurt from all the sweetness we are sending to you, but I won’t let that stop me from weighing in.
    I love reading your blog, and while I admit that there are a few things I don’t agree with and a few things I don’t see the humor in, I can appreciate that you have a sense of the absurd in the things that drive you bonkers.
    And whether or not you believe in God or Mormonism or any other religion or are simply spiritual or agnostic or atheistic is not really anybody’s business. I mean, they might be concerned, based on their own beliefs, but it’s not their place to try to take the place of whatever deity they think they serve.
    It’s obvious that SOMEBODY up there (out there, within you, whatever) loves you, because you have been blessed beyond compare despite all the crap you’ve had to go through.
    But you know that.
    …I’m just saying…