• http://www.redbubble.com/people/libberding Liz

    Wow. These people are special. With a capital S. And a whole lotta “pecial”. Your reactions are full of win. I commend you.

  • http://www.deadgirlsdontdance.com Miss J

    Oh, that big forehead comment burns me UP. The person who made that remark probably has a back-sloping forehead, containing a frontal lobe the size of a walnut. Leta is apparently a bright little girl, who will be perfectly capable of tormenting herself about imagined flaws in her appearance years from now. So why should you freak out and give her a complex, instead of fixing her hair as quickly and easily as possible? People can be so silly.
    Besides, I have a big forehead. The ONE time somebody made a mean remark about it in school, another kid said that I needed it to make room for my big brain. I kept wearing my hair pulled back, and nobody ever said anything again. So there.

  • alexia

    How exciting! I just sent you an email requesting this nonsense.
    These don’t seem as funny as the old editions. People are becoming more hateful and less funny in spreading their hate.
    Hmm, shameful.

  • Kate

    I mean, it’s really not fair to expect Ashlee to be able to spell if her parents couldn’t even get her name right.

    As much as I hate Mariah Carey, when I read crap like this, all I can think is “shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off.”

  • sara

    what a bunch of assholes. thank you for sharing their stupidity so we can laugh at them; i hope it’s therapeutic for you. shitnecks.

  • http://www.pronetwentytwo.blogspot.com Meguire

    I didn’t quite have the time to read the other 923 comments that have been posted (after all, I have already spent three hours out of my nine-hour work day on the internet…), but I would imagine they all proclaim your awesomeness in spite of the religiously fanatic, zit picking, and obviously grammatically blessed people from “cali” (I’m assuming that’s what all the cool people say, followed by four commas). But I think you should know… I (an extremely unimportant twenty-something living in Seattle) think you are brilliant. I fully support pictures of your dog balancing a blender, children with hair-eating tendencies, ponytails that expose large foreheads, “mental history,” and perhaps most importantly, making money off your children.

    And one more thing — from one extremely sarcastic sister to another — you are one of maybe 4 writers I can name that pull sarcasm off to a perfection. One of my English professors used to tell us to avoid sarcasm in our writing because few people can make it work. Clearly, you are an exception. Keep it coming.

  • RIT

    “I see stupid people…they’re everywhere…they walk around like everyone else…and they don’t even know they are dumb.”

  • http://bettycrockerass.blogspot.com/ BettyCrockerAss

    Holy crap. That’s was awesome! Thank you for having enough confidence and self esteem to continue and share your life. I am one of those people who identified with your depression after Leta was born. In fact, that’s how I found your site…by good old goggle “post partum depression and how to deal.” It helped me get through and understand stuff a little better. Now, we are trying for a second child and I hope that I never have to hear the things you do. For all the lame people that are out there, I would like to apologize for them. I guess you could say it’s sort of like I’m doing a baptism for the dead.


  • nashvegas

    Yep. Real Christian attitude among some of these morons out there.
    Love your blog, Love you.

  • God

    Heather, this is God. Just wanted to let you know that I think it’s sort of cute when you flick boogies into the sky, presumably in my direction.

    Just want to let you know that I have a meeting scheduled with Agnes (can’t tell you when because that would ruin the surprise) but suffice it to say that she is going to be VERY surprised when she learns that the secret handshake she has been perfecting her whole anemic life is THE WRONG ONE!


    Remember that old saying about me having a sense of humour? IT’S TRUE!

    I bless you my child………and don’t worry about the morons in the world. I made them to keep people like you in the spotlight.

    Hugs and kisses, Me

  • Heather

    People are stupid. And Agnes can kiss my ass, because miscarriages suck and god has nothing to do with it.


  • Sonia

    Wow, how hypocritical those religious folk can be. Interesting, very interesting how insulting kickass mofo such as yourself is quite all right in the mind of Jesus.

    Nothing but love for Da Dooce! :)

  • Malinda

    I am amazed that so many people who “Hate your website” still feel the need to read it all the time and to leave you comments. I am sorry that so many people feel the need to say mean things to people for no reason except to remind them how superior they are. I wonder how you were able to win all those awards? Maybe it is because you are a really great writer with wit and good punctuation skills. You rock girl. The fact that you are willing to share how you really feel about things it what makes your writing so real and so funny. Keep going on and ignore those pimple poppers! P.S. I think you are a really good Mom.

  • http://amyeats.blogspot.com Amy

    You know how many people love you and your family Heather. I agree – I just feel sorry for the haters.

  • BV

    makes my co-workers cranky e-mails look like
    flowering rainbows of joy.

  • http://www.ladiosadevino.com Drama Queen

    Heather – people’s cruelty and lack of intelligence in this world should really shock me, but honestly, sadly it does not. You are a strong amazing woman that takes your talent in writing and creativity and share with all of us something so real, that we almost imagine we are living it. I know these comments are so common place to you, but I am sure it stings a little to read…

  • Melissa

    WOW! I’ll tuck this into my ever-growing “What the HELL is wrong with people???” file.

    Keep doing what you do, Heather. We love you.

  • Kelly

    OMG! WOW I have been reading your Blog for a couple of years now and never have posted…These ppl are nut cases! ass munchers!, uneducated…the list goes on and on…

    Your fabulous…I look at your pictures every day they make me smile…:0)

    Keep up the great work.

  • sara

    Oh my hell. How is it that I read the letters and want to punch my screen … then read your response and bust out laughing. I think the site may be making me bipolar :)

    For the record, I sent you a glowing email awhile back; here’s hoping all the good comments you get are the ones that you replay in your mind on a bad day.

  • http://goaliej54.blogspot.com Jessica

    If these people are so religious and perfect, they should know that we’re not supposed to judge each other. Or be mean, for that matter. I really enjoy your blog; it just cracks me up. Life should be more about laughter and fun, and less about taking things too seriously. Life’s too short for that. Congrats on your awards; they were well-deserved!

  • Kelly

    I seriously don’t understand these people and their complete inability to understand and appreciate good humor and good writing…I love that you call them out on their douchebagginess.

  • http://foolsewoode.blogspot.com sadira

    I don’t even know if you read ALL your comments, but I want to tell you how much this post impacted me…someone in my tiny town has been saying horrid things on her blog about me, attacking my character for some made up reason in her head, and has tried to leave me comments on my blog and a nasty email. Thank you for your good humor and strength…I can’t imagine how much commentary you must get about your own life…and after all you’ve been through, you still choose to write openly and honestly. Cheers for the person you are…and walk with your head high girl…you rock!!

  • Anonymous

    Nothing cracks me up quite like reading someone incapable of using the correct form of your/you’re attempting to tell ANYONE (let alone a published writer) that THEY suck at writing, are stupid, etc. Brava, Ashlee. You just made an ass out of yourself.

    And though I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this, Leta is beautiful. (BTW Krista: keep picking on kids! It’s so insanely cool when adults feel the need to invent flaws in young children in order to get at the child’s parent! You so totally rule!… Not.)

    Well, you managed to tell everyone off much better than I could, so I’ll just finish by saying that you rule. Keep being awesome!

  • Bill


  • LynzM

    Wow, Heather. The vitriol of people who assume that your fertility has anything to do with belief in god is amazing. I wonder how many christians they know who’ve had miscarriages. Man, it makes me angry for you, how absurd that kind of logic is. Thanks for sharing everything that you do… :)

  • Trish

    It breaks my heart that some people are so hateful toward you and your family.

    As for me, I think you’re FANTASTIC! Keep it up!

  • PK

    Love the Chuck and Coco pictures and stories.
    Love the stories about family/parenting/etc.
    Love your writing, wit and courage.

    Just remember that old saying, “Some people are like Slinkies… largely useless, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.”

  • Jill

    Oh my God. By the time I’ve read this and have commented, there are over 400 other comments, most of which I’ll admit I haven’t read. I am not sure if anyone else has been as upset by this post as I have, but I can guess (and probably hope) I’m not alone.

    If it weren’t for the 15 mg of lexapro I take every day I would probably be bawling. Heather, how you can put such a humorous twist into your response to this is one of the many reasons why I read your website on a daily basis. My skin is not as thick as yours, not by far. I just had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, and coupled with the fact that I also suffer from depression and anxiety and have a toddler whom I adore but also see the potential to carry on my “fuckedup-edness”… hearing people like Agnes and Nomar-whoever say shit like that to me would ruin me. Part of me wants to be angry and go back to my “riotgrrl” days and wave my fist of righteousness in the air and flip a black nailpolished middle finger at them, but, the truth is my poor little withered heart just wants to weep and wonder why people are so MEAN. I am sorry you have to deal with the assholes of the world, but I sincerely adore your work and your dedication, and for letting us into your family’s lives. We’re not worthy.

  • http://www.fyi-kiki.blogspot.com Kristin

    I think you should send each of those mean posters a box of twinkies … because twinkies make everything better. Except for Ashlee, send her a set of “hooked on phonics” tapes.

  • Corrinne

    I love it when you make fun of other people AND even use their names… I’m giddy with the glee. Don’t let the haters get to you heather you’re fit as a fucking fiddle. How does one get through this life NOT on some pill or another? I’m going to have to take at least 5 after reading the one with the all the commas.

  • Amanda

    God Damn people are crazy. It’s like they have emotional herpes and by God they HAVE to spread it around.


    P.S. You are hot.

  • Leslie

    Dude. Duuuuude. Don’t hassle the “Don’t Hassle the Hoff” T-shirt. Srsly. That’s SO UNCOOL.


    P.S. You and your family and your dog are awesome. I wish I could get my dog to be still long enough to balance a banana on his head, because that’s a picture I would cherish.

  • Hannah

    I’m a Christian and your blog is practically my homepage. I don’t think God felt vindicated in any way when you lost a baby, and I get incredibly pissed off when people give God the “credit” when human beings suffer. Maybe these people are just sad they have no Bloggie Awards to cuddle with on those cold winter nights.

  • http://trashytashy.blogspot.com Tachae

    I cannot even believe that people would sent you comments like that.

    Why is it, that when someone is successful and has an amazing ability to write,
    someone elses envy of that talent, has to try and ruin it?
    I am amused by your responses but also know that it just goes to show the world is being taken over by rotten trash.

    I would also like to add, the person who made the comment about your miscarrage will have a special place in hell.

  • http://boxofjack.com/ Jack

    Seriously, some of these emails are pure evil. How do you know want to just set your email client on fire?

  • http://cookeatfret.com claudia @ cookeatfret.com

    love you
    mean it

    you’re brilliant

    and fuck ‘em if they can’t take a little real life… geshk.

  • Stacie

    What kind of person do you have to be to harbor that kind of hate and bile for a person you have never met and whose life you have CHOSEN to read about? If I were you, I am pretty sure I would never have the balls to check my email.

  • http://www.carlosdepaula.com Carlos de Paula

    On the subject of eating one’s hair, I used to pluck mine out when I was about 14, and ended up getting bald. I would hate for your daughter to became bald, or have hairballs like my cats.

  • Sara D

    Your blog is a beautiful breath of fresh air and it’s an absolute joy to read about your life and your family…your wit, your heart, your energy, and your love for your family just shines through so brightly.

    Please ignore these terrible people who spew such hatred. You’re witty and kind and a loving wife and a wonderful mother and the world’s greatest “balancer-of-things-on-Chuck’s-head”. Leta is a beautiful little girl and Chuck is an awesome dog and Coco is, well, Coco is just adorable :)

    By the way, do you think Chuck can balance a chair on his nose? Now that would be awesome!

  • http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com Lynda

    Not only do I love you guys because you’re so real (the people who live in my head hate it when I say that but it’s true), but my own personal brooding cat-deer loves Chuck so much she couldn’t sleep the night I played her the video where he barks at Coco and Coco responds in some coded puppy language with, “Punch your human in the pants until she plays this again.” It was like finding out some really cute actor can also sing, and she made me play it over and over, and of course I did because Chuck is hotness incarnate. Also, Leta’s beautiful, you guys rock, and the haters aren’t worthy to polish your Bloggies.

    (I’m not kidding about my puppy, you know, she even follows your style section. In her own way. http://flickr.com/photos/rustyeyes/2112156310/)

  • Sarah

    It’s almost as though they felt reading your blog was somehow mandatory. The funny thing about optional things is that by definition you can opt not to do them. I’ve stopped by any number of stupid, obnoxious, or worthless websites in my lifetime, and when I have determined to my satisfaction that they are stupid, obnoxious, or worthless, I simply stop reading them. It would be utterly futile to inform the proprietors of said sites that they are stupid, obnoxious, or worthless, because they don’t care what I think. No more than Nomen, Ashlee, and the rest of the brain trust cares what I think.

    The world is full of websites. Visit the ones you like, and ignore the rest. Too easy.

  • Shara

    Bah, screw being a “sane mother” the crazy one’s are so much more interesting! (and fun!, mine isn’t sane…it’s much better this way)

  • the other dark meat

    Wow – I literally caught my breath when I read the “condolences” message. I am so glad you are able to handle all the vitriol and put it in perspective. Only a very sad, crusty pair of buns could’ve said such a cruel, judgemental thing. Cuntface hamster.

  • Brook

    Wow, those e-mails just make the case for psychiatric medication, don’t they? Those horrible, joyless people with their itty-bitty souls. Though I’m not sure what dosages of Xanax and Zoloft can substitute for a shriveled sense of humanity.

    Oh, well. At least those buggers are in the minority. And are likely welded to their toilets, unable to harm the rest of us, save with words.

  • http://www.johndickerson.com/ John Dickerson

    This is a great public service to those of us who think our email is harsh and to any of us who might let our stockings droop.

  • http://winecat.typepad.com winecat

    How dare those low life people slam you, Leta and Chuck. I love you and cruise past your blog several times a day just to see if you’ve posted.

    I’m continually astounded at how every ugly people can be. I know, I know I’m 55 I shouldn’t still be astounded but I am. Sigh

  • Sarah

    While I found Alana’s comment about Leta eating her hair to be mean-spirited, and your response to be brilliant, I do have an opinion about it. I’m an RN and it IS possible for humans to develop hairballs, much like an animal would. They are called “bezoars” and sometimes need to be surgically removed…just an FYI.
    I remain: a daily reader of your blog, owner of the Chuck calender and coveter of Coco!
    Keep it up!

  • http://cookeatfret.com claudia @ cookeatfret.com

    to #424

    hi jill,

    i’m definitely worthy.
    my guess is you are too…

  • zalaine

    After my 56 years here, I have come to fully believe that at any given time 20% of the people who also live here, will think ANYTHING and that causes them to do or write in said manor. Amazing when you think about it – really amaZing…

  • jlj

    I’m sure the comment I’m making is too far down the list, and I’m sure the sentiment has already been expressed, but AGNES needs to pull the cross out of her butt and consider acting like an actual Christian, if that’s what she imagines herself to be, instead of playing one on tv.

    Someone needs to be thinking about ‘loving thy neighbor as thyself.’ Well, unless for Agnes, love of self includes sticking pieces of glass in her eyes. In which case, never mind.

    In the meantime, to Agnes I have this remark: Such compassion! And wow! No judgment of others at all! Gosh. I bet you’d make a great torturer of small kittens. Nice job with the religiousness there. Nice job.

    There. I feel a little better. Now, to move on to forgiving her for being a cruel, rather stupid person …