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dooce® - dooce.com

One of the million, billion grains of sand in the desert

Portraits before and after death.

"This somber series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study. The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living."

These photos are simultaneously haunting and beautiful, and I've been riveted for the last half hour. Having looked at every photo I feel like I need to get up, walk outside and let the sun hit my face for a while. Be sure to read the text accompanying the photos.

(via The Morning News)

EDITED TO ADD:

Just got this email from Mimi in Oakland:

Heather,

Those images nauseated me and I should have never looked at them. While I respect your right to post whatever you want on your website, that you closed comments irritates me.

I'm disappointed in you; I think you're a great big chicken shit for doing that. Why not let people respond? What were you afraid of? You obviously knew you'd get a response so why close the door to them?

I had no idea that link would inspire this kind of response, but there you go. Chicken shit I am not, so what did you think of those photos?

04.01.2008 Links 1078 comments
Previous Post Next Post
  • 1. eric said:

    I thought they were inspiring. Live your life, people.

    04.01.08 - 11:12 AM
  • 2. Nichole said:

    I thought they were amazing and beautiful. People who are not comfortable with death are not comfortable with the way they are living their life. Death is a part of life.

    04.01.08 - 11:14 AM
  • 3. moderndayhermit said:

    Amazing

    04.01.08 - 11:15 AM
  • 4. rebecca said:

    wow! People are nuts. It's not like you didn't say what the post was about. I loved those pictures and felt really peaceful after looking at all of them.

    04.01.08 - 11:15 AM
  • 5. CurlyHairDay said:

    I think Mimi must have clicked on the wrong link. . .like, say, "Mastheads." I too would be distressed if I thought Dooce's mastheads had left us for the plane of higher consciousness.

    That site is mesmerizing and fascinating.

    04.01.08 - 11:15 AM
  • 6. Anonymous said:

    I think we need more things like this regarding death. It is not scary and a part of this living process. Can't really get away from it really.

    Why open comments if it just makes space for attacks. Chicken sh!t or boundary setter? I'd not open my comments if I got the response you get daily.

    ~GoGo

    04.01.08 - 11:16 AM
  • 7. dug said:

    haunting. and maybe nauseating. but so? what did someone clicking on a link to pictures described as "somber series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died" expect? kids on a playground?

    anyway. haunting. but not in a bad way.

    04.01.08 - 11:16 AM
  • 8. Anonymous said:

    i kept hoping they wouldnt die in the next photo

    04.01.08 - 11:16 AM
  • 9. Cheryl said:

    I thought they were going to be disturbing, but they actually were peaceful. You almost never see death represented like that. Its either fictionalized or brushed under the carpet (like no longer allowing pictures of the coffins of soldiers who die in Iraq). I doubt I'd have ever come across these on my own, so thanks.

    04.01.08 - 11:17 AM
  • 10. Muriel said:

    I loved it, and plan on sharing it with everyone I know. Thanks for the link, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:17 AM
  • 11. MeandMyG9 said:

    Couldn't bring myself to look. My wife and I had the honor of caring for my Mother in her last months. I am a chicken shit.

    04.01.08 - 11:17 AM
  • 12. JLP said:

    I am neither offended nor shocked by those photos. But I recently watched my father-in-law die in a hospital bed after a short battle with lung cancer. I guess if you've never experienced that, it might be shocking. It's amazing how quickly the face changes once a person has passed and the oxygen and blood are no longer circulating. I mean, it's literally within minutes that the face becomes that sunken shell as in many of these photos.

    Interesting series.

    04.01.08 - 11:17 AM
  • 13. Jack said:

    Mimi needs to learn how to not click the next button...that way she wouldn't have been nauseated...and I actually found the images of the people after death were less horrifying than I assumed they would be. Kudos Dooce!

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 14. Hey You (thehuckablog.com) said:

    I understand that you do not open comments to keep out the crazies, but that does not make you chicken shit. It is not like you did not say in the post what the link was. AS far as the photography...NMS, but I can appreciate the poignancy of it.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 15. slodwick said:

    Chicken shit would be me, actually. Based on Heather's description, I know better than to even click that link.

    (Gosh - imagine what the internet would be like if people actually thought before following links, and then took responsibility for their own reactions? The mind positively boggles.)

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 16. Vikki said:

    I found the photographs fascinating and touching. Death is so very much a part of life - most people just choose to ignore that fact.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 17. Heidi said:

    I think this is your blog and you have every right to do whatever you want - as do the people who view it.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 18. dooce said:

    wow. anonymous at #8, that comment was really powerful.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 19. Shannon/jodfoster said:

    I think these photos are absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. What an amazing project and how amazing were those that agreed to take part in it. I think their families have something very poignant and beautiful to hold on to.

    p.s. my captcha is Stern cheese. That's my least favorite kind.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 20. Jady said:

    My parent's friend took pictures of my sister at her memorial service...I gotta say they were haunting as well, although it seems such a private thing to take photographs of.

    She died of an eating disorder, so the pictures just look...strange. She was constantly in motion, twitching, hands shaking, etc. She never looked quite so calm and still.

    It wasn't disturbing so much as surreal.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 21. Elaine said:

    I have never been one to handle death well, but these people shared their stories and I got the impression that they were at peace after the hardest and last fights of their lives.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 22. Erin said:

    Stunning and moving and wonderfully human. Being nauseated by death is a very immature reaction.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 23. Fabgirl said:

    As squeamish as I am, I clicked on the link and found that it was indeed very haunting and yet, very peaceful. Much better to see death in a dignified manner than splashed across the news with blood and destruction. You plainly stated that it was pics before and after death, so I'm afraid it's up to your readers to make their own decision.
    P.S. Well said, Eric.

    04.01.08 - 11:18 AM
  • 24. Karen said:

    Dear Mimi in Oakland:

    Stick up your ass. Pull it out.

    Cheers!

    04.01.08 - 11:19 AM
  • 25. Spring said:

    I'm not sure why, but I honestly didn't expect the death portraits to be as beautiful as they are. I suppose that says much about my conception of death and the afterlife. And now I'm wondering if that conception has changed, ever so slightly, after seeing these photographs.

    04.01.08 - 11:19 AM
  • 26. francesca said:

    I thought these were beautifully done, and found the comments from the subjects thought-provoking. You provided us with a descripton...if readers are nauseated or find this so offensive, certainly nobody is going to force their fingers to click on the link.

    04.01.08 - 11:19 AM
  • 27. Beth said:

    I'm glad you posted it. I was moved by every story - some made me giggle, some made me sadder than others, and I had the same reaction - gonna go take pictures of the daffodils in the garden.

    People don't have to click on things just because they're there! Esp after reading the description. WTF?

    04.01.08 - 11:19 AM
  • 28. Shannon said:

    I thought the photos were amazing. Some were incredible; you could see the stress and worry in people's faces while they were alive, and after they died it was just.. gone.

    And Mimi needs a thorough thumping. What part of "photos before and after death" was unclear? And aside from that, if you didn't like the photos, surely it would make more sense to send your comments to the Guardian, who actually posted them?

    04.01.08 - 11:19 AM
  • 29. Celia said:

    Powerful and moving... the photos made me appreciate being alive. Thanks, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:19 AM
  • 30. Chanel said:

    Haunting for sure, but they definitely draw you in with a strange fascination.

    04.01.08 - 11:20 AM
  • 31. Sarah said:

    Why would anyone think they are nauseating? I thought they were beautiful. You don't see death in that point-of-view very often.

    They were hard to look at since I'm taking care of 2 terminal people right now but I can look past that.

    04.01.08 - 11:20 AM
  • 32. Jane said:

    Absolutely, Nichole. I found them beautiful, sad, peaceful and uniquely stirring.

    04.01.08 - 11:20 AM
  • 33. gesikah said:

    Seriously? Is Mimi from Oakland English-challenged? It says right there "Portraits before and after death."

    Personally, I only clicked through a couple, not because they were grotesque or exploitive, but having lost someone very close last year after a too-long and painful struggle with bladder cancer, they were just this side of too painful right now.

    04.01.08 - 11:20 AM
  • 34. Sher said:

    A bit scary~ A realization that not everyone is ready to meet their maker even when they are in their 80's.

    I know the quickness of death too well as indicated on the time frames between the first and second photos.

    My Mom, diagnosed with colon cancer, died 9 weeks later. I also had a 9 week old daughter when she died. Her first Grandchild.

    I remember her saying to me as she lay dying, "I just want to change her diapers and all these people keep pushing me out of the way". She died March 30, 2001.

    04.01.08 - 11:21 AM
  • 35. Catriona said:

    How beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

    04.01.08 - 11:21 AM
  • 36. Angela said:

    Speaking as a photographer myself, the best photographs stir up emotions. if you open your mind a little bit you might be surprised at what you find. Those portraits were moving and beautifully made.

    04.01.08 - 11:21 AM
  • 37. Anon said:

    i've never seen a dead person (though i've been touched by death many times) and i was a bit afraid to look, but i'm so glad i did. these were beautiful and so much more peaceful than i expected.

    04.01.08 - 11:21 AM
  • 38. Nikki said:

    My good friend is a hospice nurse. She often says there is no difference between her work and the work of a labor and delivery nurse; one helps to birth babies and the other helps to birth souls - both of which require great courage. She likes to imagine that those souls are a messy, squirming, crying blob which are handed to their creator who knows and loves them.

    There is great and haunting beauty in these images, and death deserves as much dignity, celebration, and love as any other significant transition in life. These photos help to bring that about. Thank you for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 11:22 AM
  • 39. mrshaley said:

    The text describing the subjects of the photos shows that those who are not happy/satisfied/fulfilled by the way they lived their lives will not be peace when those lives are over. I hope that lesson is apparent, even when the photos themselves are disturbing.

    04.01.08 - 11:22 AM
  • 40. Slonik said:

    All I can say is, I am glad I was not looking at these by myself.

    04.01.08 - 11:22 AM
  • 41. Jenica said:

    memento mori.

    04.01.08 - 11:22 AM
  • 42. Cristen said:

    That was a really interesting photo essay; thanks for telling us about it. Just because you didn't want to deal with your usual 1000 or so comments doesn't mean you're chicken shit--that was a ridiculous denouncement on Mimi's part.

    04.01.08 - 11:22 AM
  • 43. jayrose said:

    i lost my sister at 24 this past fall. it's inspiring to see what these people are thinking in the process leading up to their imminent deaths. a vision of strength in each of them, the photographs are riveting. but i was oddly jealous, they had the time leading up to to verbalize and reflect. she was plucked out of the night by a man backing up a one way street.

    04.01.08 - 11:22 AM
  • 44. Flyingwaitress said:

    I will visit my mother today who is dying. It is hard to see her - but after looking at those pictures, I would rather see her dying today, then wait until she is without life. The death pictures were very beautiful but empty. I need to see her as much as I can while she still has life filling her.

    Seeing those pictures also reinforced how quick life is. I think I needed to see them, because I was regretting giving up my stable job to take a big risk. Now I don't regret it anymore.

    Thank you.

    04.01.08 - 11:23 AM
  • 45. sheryl said:

    wow. the photos were beautiful. evocative.
    thank you for sharing them.

    04.01.08 - 11:23 AM
  • 46. Leslie said:

    I'm almost scared that they were here watching over my shoulder. Beautiful. Powerful. Wow.

    04.01.08 - 11:23 AM
  • 47. David said:

    I thougt it was awesome for you to bring this very moving work to our attention.

    Thank you very much.

    04.01.08 - 11:23 AM
  • 48. Patti said:

    You did state clearly what they were about. I thought they were beautiful. That so many of them were so young, that was sad.

    I wonder if Mimi is nauseated by the deaths, or by the images of old people - wasn't it that movie Logan's Run, where nobody aged? We're so inundated with images of young pretty people, maybe that was the shock.

    04.01.08 - 11:23 AM
  • 49. Super Woman said:

    Incredibly touching and poignant. It was calming to read the stories of those who had accepted their imminent death, but heart-wrenching to read the stories of those who were terrified of it or felt cheated by it.

    I've always believed in living your life the way you dream of living it, every single day. Life is too unpredictable to save all the best stuff for retirement. I'm fortunate that my husband feels the same, because we don't put off good things if we can afford not to.

    04.01.08 - 11:23 AM
  • 50. lindsay said:

    my mom just passed away a month and a half ago from cancer. i was always afraid to take photos of her during her last few months. i now wish i had in some ways, those photos were so peaceful.

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 51. VinnyGirl said:

    No. 8, I totally agree with you. I kept hoping they wouldn't be dead in the next picture.

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 52. Jane said:

    Heather, you close your comments all the time. I wouldn't have thought this was any different. I believe you have every right to do so. That being said, the pictures are haunting - incredibly intimate and personal. I was only able to look at a couple but will come back to them later - maybe not even today or tomorrow.

    I am always amazed how people feel that they have the right to make such comments to you. My response would be, "If you don't like it, don't look." You certainly gave fair warning in your intro.

    Jane

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 53. Crystal said:

    I, too, was surprised by how peaceful they were. They simply looked like they were sleeping. The woman who felt rejected by life almost made me stop, though. I hope someone hugged her before she died.

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 54. Stacie said:

    You know, as a person whom is afraid of death, the afterlife and such, I thought it was haunting, beautiful, and maybe a little comforting. I hope all is well in their lives ( or lack thereof) now. Peace.

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 55. Jeanna said:

    I feel compelled to comment, even though at this moment, I'm not sure I can put into words what I'm feeling.

    As I went through the pictures, I couldn't help but cry. It's been barely a year since I lost my mother to cancer. I've been lost in my grief for so long that I often forget that at least now, my mom who had been through so much in her life, is finally at peace and without pain.

    Frankly, the after death photos were so incredibly beautiful in their peace and tranquility that I simply can't fathom someone becoming nauseated viewing them.

    Thank you for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 56. Mindy said:

    They made me cry. Life is so very precious . . . and fleeting.

    04.01.08 - 11:24 AM
  • 57. suzy said:

    Those photos were beautiful and poignant. Absolutely nothing nauseating about it. and it's not like you said CLICK HERE everybody and didn't elaborate.. what did Mimi want?- a pop-up flash page saying "warning....warning..."

    thanks for the link

    04.01.08 - 11:25 AM
  • 58. Lori said:

    Thanks for the link. I thought the pictures were amazing and peaceful.
    Mimi,
    You can always close your browser and walk away. You had fair warning. I think you're the chicken shit.

    04.01.08 - 11:25 AM
  • 59. Lindsay said:

    I think that the project is beautiful, and really gives some perspective. Thanks for sharing the link, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:25 AM
  • 60. Me said:

    I was touched. I thought the images were peaceful, and I was interested to read their different stories and perspectives on the afterlife (or lack thereof).

    I also just called and made a doctor's appointment that I had been putting off for a long time. Thanks, dooce.

    04.01.08 - 11:25 AM
  • 61. Jenny said:

    I thought the photos were amazing. A little disturbing? Yes. Beautiful? Very. Could I finish looking at the whole set? No.

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 62. Kia said:

    Those photos made me want to start living. They are haunting and sad and peaceful and it's too bad you got an email from that person.

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 63. mihow said:

    They definitely made me cry. After I had a baby, the only thing I want to do anymore is live forever so I can be with him. My own mortality has snuck up on me lately. I guess.

    These images made me very sorrowful, but not in a bad way. They made me uncomfortable, but they're meant to. I think. They made me question the fact that I get so annoyed by such little things.

    They made me want to help the elderly.

    Also, I do hope that one gent is still somehow getting the football (soccer) scores wherever he may be.

    And I'm glad the woman who held such anger toward her ex finally got rid of it and hopefully died peacefully.

    If anything, these pictures should show us to get out and do something today, say sorry to someone, not get so worked up, feel OK with things.

    I'm sad today. hahahaha

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 64. Jess said:

    I found them inspiring! Thanks for posting them!

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 65. lotsalisa said:

    I thought they all looked at peace. I've been with family as they died and I think these portraits are a lovely testament to living and enjoying the time we each have left on earth.

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 66. Anonymous said:

    Sounds like Mimi is having a bad day. Did someone force her to click the link and look at the photos? I was expecting something horrid after reading Mimi's comment, but I thought the photos were interesting - not at all shocking.

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 67. Karen said:

    So very beautifully touching. Thank you for sharing this link.

    04.01.08 - 11:26 AM
  • 68. sheryl said:

    P.S.
    Nikki, #38
    Thank you. Your comment offers such a helpful perspective

    04.01.08 - 11:27 AM
  • 69. Amy said:

    It's a reminder, to me at least, of just how insignificant we are. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be a nice person. Get off your high horse. And all that. Thanks for posting.

    04.01.08 - 11:27 AM
  • 70. Valerie said:

    Beautiful. If something doesn't make you want to go kiss your kids and other loved ones, and consiously live a better day, I don't know what will. That is, ironically, something I very much needed today. Thank you, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:27 AM
  • 71. Chanda said:

    Amazing images, both of life and of death. I found it fascinating, the similarities between the way people live, and the way they die. It seems those that were positive in life had an easier time accepting their fate.

    I did not find this offensive at all. We would be a healthier society alltogether if we were more willing to embrace the inevitibility we all face. Death.

    Well Done Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:28 AM
  • 72. Anonymous said:

    I thought they were disturbing, and I couldn't get past the third image, but I knew what I was getting myself into. Mimi's comments are clearly over the top, and if she judges you for being a "chicken shit" by not opening comments, then she clearly does not respect your right to put whatever you want on your own website as she claims.

    04.01.08 - 11:28 AM
  • 73. Tom said:

    Mayhaps Mimi thought the photos would be grotesque in some fashion and felt cheated?

    04.01.08 - 11:29 AM
  • 74. LadyBug said:

    What dug (#7) said. Those are my feelings, exactly. The "haunting," the "nauseating," and the "not in a bad way." Thanks for sharing this, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:29 AM
  • 75. Kelly B said:

    Nauseating is the sound the body makes on the table when the embalming machine is run too long. I use to work as an obit writer and Funeral Home directors were in the habit of calling me while multi-tasking.

    These images are striking and incredibly moving.

    04.01.08 - 11:29 AM
  • 76. lomagirl said:

    These are very interesting. There is so much respect on the part of the photographer. I think it's interesting that those who are peaceful in life are relatively peaceful in death, and about their deaths. I was reflecting on death today in my blog.
    I think one guy made an important point- some people don't want to pretend that they aren't going to die. These photographers were listening as well as taking pictures- that's what makes these portraits and not snapshots.

    04.01.08 - 11:29 AM
  • 77. Anonymous said:

    That was amazing, I'm so glad I looked at it. Thank you for posting it.

    04.01.08 - 11:30 AM
  • 78. Karen Sugarpants said:

    I found them peaceful. Like in the 2nd photo of each person, there was less worry lines, less strain. I hope we all find peace before we die, but that death also brings peace. You could sort of see which people found peace in knowing the end was near. Does that make sense?
    Lovely find Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:30 AM
  • 79. RockyCat said:

    I loved these photos - thank you for posting them.

    04.01.08 - 11:30 AM
  • 80. Erica said:

    these were all done in good taste. This should be a wake up call for everyone to appreciate what/who they have.

    04.01.08 - 11:30 AM
  • 81. Agustin said:

    This was beautiful.

    Things that make people uncomfortable are not always bad.

    Death is a reality we all have to face one day. It's nice to be reminded that we are merely a blip in time; beautiful uniquely blips, but blips just the same.

    It puts things in perspective; for me at least.

    04.01.08 - 11:30 AM
  • 82. Meghan said:

    I saw the photos on both BoingBoing and Metafilter this morning, and when I read the captions, I cried. My dog, my best friend of nine years, died yesterday, and the captions got me thinking about how final death is, and how short life is.

    04.01.08 - 11:31 AM
  • 83. Aimee said:

    Thank you. These were incredibly moving, and a real counterpoint to the petty annoyances of my morning. What an honor, really, to have such an intimate glimpse of these people.

    04.01.08 - 11:32 AM
  • 84. jp said:

    these photos and accompanying stories reminded me to live hard and live well, tomorrow may not belong to me...

    04.01.08 - 11:32 AM
  • 85. Sundee said:

    Creepy. Sad. Real. Insane. Comforting. Odd. All these emotions, yet I am glad I checked it out.

    04.01.08 - 11:32 AM
  • 86. Jay said:

    At the San Antonio Museum of Art a few years back was a showing of self portraits and portraits. Some of the painting dated way back. In some of the paintings the artist would write a little bio about the person in the painting. One was of a boy (Painted when alive) who had died of smallpox. Others were portraits of young children that had died and been dress in angle costumes and decorated with jewelry. I think the interesting thing about the exhibit is that when I saw the paintings of the dead children I knew they were dead and not sleeping. Artist can really capture the emptiness of the vessels.

    04.01.08 - 11:32 AM
  • 87. amy said:

    Thank you for posting this.

    04.01.08 - 11:33 AM
  • 88. Sue said:

    Beautiful work....even the subjects who had struggled throughout their lives found serenity and peace in death.

    04.01.08 - 11:34 AM
  • 89. beth said:

    they were beautiful and true...just like life and death. thank you for the link.
    peace!

    04.01.08 - 11:34 AM
  • 90. amber said:

    it is majorly rude to call someone chicken shit. like, my gosh. would you say that to someone's face? why is it ok behind a computer screen?

    04.01.08 - 11:35 AM
  • 91. ely said:

    Not an ounce in my body made me feel nauseated at the sight of these photos. On the contrary, I felt that in many ways the photographer captured the beauty in these people that even death could not steal away from them. I felt moved by the series, moved by the fragility of life, and to me, that makes it a worthwhile piece.

    04.01.08 - 11:35 AM
  • 92. Korina said:

    It is a really haunting set of pictures. The ones that got to me the most were the ones that had more time between the two pictures.

    I hope they each lived full lives.

    04.01.08 - 11:36 AM
  • 93. Meg said:

    I think the pictures were beautiful, and more disturbing than the photos were some of the stories. I wish the people in the photos could have seen how powerfully their images would be used. I also agree with Crystal, and hope everyone got a hug before they left.

    I think anyone who used the comments to berate Mimi for what was a shocked reaction (appropriate or not) is missing the point entirely. A group of people open-minded enough to appreciate death portraits somehow cannot stop from responding to an email that wasn't even sent to them... I don't want to believe comments were opened for that purpose.

    04.01.08 - 11:36 AM
  • 94. Catherine said:

    Thank you for posting this link.
    There was so little difference in the before and after photos, except the eyes...truly the windows to the soul.

    04.01.08 - 11:36 AM
  • 95. Jenn said:

    I really like the pictures. I think the idea is very creative. It's interesting to see the expression, or lack of, on their face when they're alive and to see it change when they're dead. Thanks for sharing!

    04.01.08 - 11:36 AM
  • 96. Chris said:

    Sitting here at work trying not to cry too obviously. I have often thought that death might be 'the answer'. Looking at these pictures and reading the stunningly honest captions have given me pause. I might have to reconsider my position. Thanks you so very much for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 97. Jessica said:

    Primarily, I think that Mimi's comments aren't really about you or your link. Her reaction is a reflection on how comfortable she is with the idea of death and maybe, possibly her own mortality. Death is scary stuff to lots of people for all sorts of reasons: the indignity of it, the loss of control, the feeling like you're leaving behind more regrets then things you can look back and on and say 'yes that was wonderful'. I'm in forensics so I have a lot of contact with death, dying and the individual. Provocative explorations about cultural perceptions and reflections on dying tends to open a rift within people's own selves. It forces them to inventory their lives and their current "preparedness" for the inevitable and I think, more often then not, a lot of people just feel afraid and they react as such.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 98. chloe said:

    thank you Heather. This is what it means to be human. Thank you. x

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 99. Melanie said:

    These portraits are beautiful. People are so afraid of death, so unwilling to look at it and examine it. It's part of life - a beautiful part of life, really. One hopes that it comes at the end of a meaningful life that was well lived. It doesn't always, but it is always meaningful. I think that we don't look at death enough. We turn away from it, which is a disservice to those who are dying and to ourselves.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 100. Christy said:

    It seems that the second photograph of each person allows you to feel that that person's soul is no longer part of that body. It makes me sad to think of the people in my life that could be gone at any moment...it makes me want to go out and do something spectacular today to touch someone else's life.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 101. Jenny said:

    I found myself crying as I read the captions of these photographs. They are beautiful and touching.

    Photographs of the dead were a common happenstance in the early 19th century. The Wisconsin Death Trip book is a great example of this phenomenon. http://www.amazon.com/Wisconsin-Death-Trip-Michael-Lesy/dp/0826321933

    It's amazing to me the commentary from the people who died. The range of emotions as humans reach the end of their mortal lives.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 102. Jenn said:

    Nauseated? Wow. That's a truly amazing reaction to something so beautiful and haunting.

    Thank you for sharing that.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 103. ThomG said:

    Death is a natural occurrence of nature, whether it be a day for a mayfly or 85 years for a human. The pictures were haunting, but they also were beautiful. I felt that each was done is such a dignified way - to honor a person who might not have gotten the recognition in any other way or form in their lives.

    04.01.08 - 11:37 AM
  • 104. Mark said:

    Heather good for you for posting. Never let cowards like Mimi get you down. They shoot off their mouths (fingers??) as they dont think that they will be called on. Keep up the great work, and let the Mimi's of the world toil in their own obscurity.

    04.01.08 - 11:38 AM
  • 105. katie said:

    I thought they were chillingly beautiful...although they were somewhat haunting to look at, it was an eerie yet incredible reminder of what every single one of us (even the chicken shits) will experience at some point.

    Not everything on the internet must contain hilarious pictures of cats with poor grammar to be considered great.

    (although it must be said I do enjoy my fair share of lolcats)

    04.01.08 - 11:38 AM
  • 106. Mo said:

    Cheers, Heather. I enjoyed the photos. Death is a part of life, and one that most of us are not comfortable with. It's nice to see it chronicled tastefully through photographs. Thanks for posting!

    04.01.08 - 11:38 AM
  • 107. Jen said:

    I don't get how these were nauseating to Mimi...I found them to be lovely and thought-provoking. I was interested to see how many of them were peaceful about their death, I hope I am that serene when my time comes.

    #38 (Nikki) - your friend is clearly an angel on earth. What a wonderful way to think about birth and death. Her patients are lucky to have her.

    04.01.08 - 11:38 AM
  • 108. Jooshy said:

    This is something that took my breath away. THank you, I am sharing it with everyone I know. I am a nurse and have seen so many people transition through these feelings and thoughts. I know one day I will too. It gives me strength and a sense of hauntedness at the same time.

    04.01.08 - 11:39 AM
  • 109. Cristina said:

    Heather, one of the things I love about your blog is how one day you'll have me cracking up out loud in the middle of the library, and the next day you'll share with us something so touching and poignant that I'm crying at the end. Whether it's a story about Chuck stepping in his own poop, your sweet monthly newsletters to Leta, or a visual meditation on life and death, your blog is my special daily escape from my usual stress and responsibilities.

    You are NOT chicken shit. You are generous, soulful and fucking hilarious.

    And thank you for posting that link. It was lovely and sad.

    04.01.08 - 11:39 AM
  • 110. Rosemary said:

    @ #8 "i kept hoping they wouldnt die in the next photo"

    I too felt that way, I couldn't bear to read about any of them, as it was breaking my heart anyway.

    04.01.08 - 11:39 AM
  • 111. Marce said:

    Heavy stuff... makes me think that I better start living instead of just existing

    04.01.08 - 11:39 AM
  • 112. Amk said:

    I was about to lose my @#$% (wait, why am I editing my profanity? Did I forget where I am?), let me rephrase that: I was about to lose my fucking shit when I read Mimi's comment. I came here fully intending to go off on some ill-begotten tirade about how fucking tired I am of people not dealing with death and dying and our universal, unavoidable mortality and don't even get me started about people who use hushed voices and "air quotes" when they say words like "cancer" and "met his greater reward". But then I actually read all the comments and was like, whew, thank god (or Allah or Jah or my personal favorite deity: the toilet bowl). Not everyone is complete and total douche bag.

    Also, Mimi from Oakland, have you not noticed the fact that, mmm, every post on this particular site is closed to comments? Because when you're the master of the universe, it gets hard to push the Moderate Comments button six thousand times an hour.

    04.01.08 - 11:39 AM
  • 113. Vee said:

    The photographs are not disturbing, they're beautiful and they've reminded me that no matter how difficult life can be at times, at the end of the road all we want is a little more time.

    04.01.08 - 11:39 AM
  • 114. Eva said:

    So this woman reads your disclaimer, clicks anyway, and then is unhappy, so instead of taking responsibility for her own actions, she blames you for not giving her the opportunity to complain in public. I think it's her that is the chicken, too chicken to observe the photos, too chicken not to observe the photos, and too chicken to accept that her choices are HER fault, not yours.

    BTW, I wonder if it's only me that once in a while is not even sure myself what the warped spam blocker words are supposed to be saying..

    04.01.08 - 11:40 AM
  • 115. JMB said:

    Beautiful link. Thank you for sharing. I was more interested in the stories than the pictures to be honest. They were much more touching.

    04.01.08 - 11:40 AM
  • 116. ericka said:

    i thought these photographs were very moving, and very sad. they reminded me of two people i love who died in the last 18 months, and how painful it was seeing their faces knowing they would never smile at me again.

    to those who have attacked mimi for her admittedly rude and uncharitable email to heather, i wonder if you have thought that maybe someone she loved died recently and she didn't realize how the images might affect her. yes, she might have thought more carefully about clicking through, but i think we all know that death is one of those topics that bring out weird and powerful emotions. anyhow, just another perspective on the email...it's so easy to judge without having any context.

    best to all and thanks to dooce for all the great posts.

    04.01.08 - 11:40 AM
  • 117. Lar said:

    I didn't click the link so I have no opinion on the photos, but I do have an opinion on Mimi in Oakland. I think Mimi doesn't take the time to read through a post before she clicks a link all willy-nilly. If Mimi had *read* the post, she might have deduced that the link might be a little graphic.

    But that's just my opinion.

    04.01.08 - 11:40 AM
  • 118. Bene said:

    Incredibly beautiful and respectfully done work.

    Anyone who finds this nauseating needs to come to grips with their own mortality. I have found the efforts of morticians to alter the faces of the dead to be far more distasteful -- the faces look so artificial and contorted. The photos show these people's real last faces, and I would rather see the people I love this way than with the plastinated smile of the embalmed.

    04.01.08 - 11:40 AM
  • 119. Ann from Montana said:

    While I agree with the many who commented that you made it absolutely clear what the photos were and so Mimi's email blast points towards her failing...I AM glad that comments were opened because I would not have looked at the photos had I not read all of the comments.

    I would not have looked out of a kind of fear...being in a difficult circumstance in my life, I thought I didn't need to see "death". However, I ultimately did look and while haunting and wishing that things could turn out differently for all of them, there is also that beauty in the stories, in the "process" - I don't even have the words right now, but I AM glad I looked and I'm grateful for the post and the comments that "helped" me take the step to look.

    04.01.08 - 11:40 AM
  • 120. Anonymous said:

    thanks for this.

    i think that any time is a good time to remember how much you have left to say to the people that you love.

    (even if you are crying in your cube...)

    04.01.08 - 11:42 AM
  • 121. Angela said:

    Inspired.

    I was sitting here finishing up some work and looking around my house at the sink of dishes waiting to be washed..
    the pile of laundry waiting to be folded.....
    all the discarded toys waiting to be placed back neatly in their baskets and on the book shelf...
    all the "work" that needs to be done.....endless.

    But now I'm packing up my 2 year old -- who came in carrying her snow white princess dress calling for disneyland -- and we're heading off to the magic kingdom!

    I'm sure, given the choice, each of those precious sould would have chosen one more day of magic with mickey over a day of dishes.

    Thanks, Heather. You rock!

    04.01.08 - 11:42 AM
  • 122. schmutzie said:

    I love them. I found them thought-provoking and life-affirming. Thank you.

    04.01.08 - 11:43 AM
  • 123. katie said:

    nikki (comment 38)...that was beautiful and made me feel like i was going to cry. i feel like i want to write that down to remember as words of comfort for the future. thank you.

    04.01.08 - 11:43 AM
  • 124. Kathy said:

    Beautiful. Didn't Morrie say, you've got to learn how to die in order to learn how to live?

    Makes me wish I had taken a photo of my father after he died. They look very peaceful and at rest.

    04.01.08 - 11:43 AM
  • 125. Barstool Babe said:

    Thank you for linking to these photographs. They are powerful and thought provoking. Part of me is sadden by the passing of these strangers and yet part of me is gladden by their stories. My Aunt passed away one year ago and while she was sorry she didn't get a "couple of more years," she was contented that she got to die where she wanted to (at home) and how she wanted to. Damn, I miss her.

    04.01.08 - 11:43 AM
  • 126. karen said:

    Wow. Sharing the moment of death with two family members in the past 2 years has taught me not to fear death, but to accept it as part of life and to bring grace to it. And to try harder to make the most of my life, to surround myself with wonderful people, and to try to make life better for those I can.

    Now to find my kleenex...

    04.01.08 - 11:44 AM
  • 127. Michelle said:

    I found these pics touching, how most of them were at peace with their passing after battling illnesses.

    Don't listen to all those people pissing you off - I've read your blog for years now and loved every minute of it. I could read about your Leta and Chuckles every day. I have a 3 year old and she mirrors Leta so I enjoy your posts about your frustrations. Makes me know that I am not alone in this job of motherhood.

    04.01.08 - 11:44 AM
  • 128. Ely said:

    Thanks.

    The amount of thoughts that are racing through my mind right now...ugh..just so many.

    but really...thanks for bring my attention to this

    04.01.08 - 11:45 AM
  • 129. Christina said:

    Talk about chicken shit - it sounds like someone else is a little uncomfortable with the idea of death....how lame for her to send that comment...because after all everything you write and post should bear some stamp of approval from THEM right? NOT! (what do people think? hello, freedom of speech and expression people) I found the photo's beautiful and peaceful. Being that I've buried 4 immediate family members over the last 6 years and been there every (or most) steps of the damn way I actually found the photo montage comforting and almost sweet.

    You know…now that I think about it – she’s probably just jealous that these people look better dead than she’ll ever look (or sound) alive….people have nerve.

    04.01.08 - 11:45 AM
  • 130. Jesica said:

    I lost my grandmother last night. There is something inspiring about staring death in the face and choosing not to to wait until the last moments to cease the day.

    Thanks for the link to the beautiful pictures.

    04.01.08 - 11:46 AM
  • 131. Lucy said:

    Mimi obviously has issues- mortality or literacy, I'm not sure, but issues.

    I thought the pictures were stunning- beautiful, calming, the truth we'll all face someday.

    04.01.08 - 11:46 AM
  • 132. pooky said:

    I PAYED to view the photos. About a year and a half ago these portraits were exhibited in Lisbon, in the water museum.
    http://www.cpada.pt/Museu%20da%20Agua%20-%20Reservatorio%20da%20Mae%20de...
    The portraits were hanged around the water depository, and you could sense the peacefulness walking in that place and seeing those pictures.

    04.01.08 - 11:46 AM
  • 133. Stephanie said:

    What would possess anyone to blame you when they clearly clicked on a well-described link themselves? Some people really need a lesson in responsibility. Personally, I found the photos to be incredibly beautiful. Because of this beautiful work, they will live on. I was amazed how young many of the subjects were. Scary.

    04.01.08 - 11:47 AM
  • 134. MayB said:

    I know I'm just another voice in the throng here, but I love these pictures. The stories behind them and the look of peace on some faces and frustration on others. I think to when my own mother died and these pictures, while making me sad, fill me with a sense of respect and I thank the person for taking them and taking the time to know these people as they died.

    04.01.08 - 11:47 AM
  • 135. Amanda said:

    I expected to be more creeped out, and not to be able to get all the way through. Surprisingly, I found them facinating. The stories were sad, but the images were very powerful.

    Dealing with death can be a very difficult struggle, yet it is a part of our lives. I found the series intriguing

    04.01.08 - 11:48 AM
  • 136. Laurah. said:

    I feel that the pictures and the stories that go along are helpful to some. I have personally dealt with many of my loved ones dying around me recently and I'm only 22 years old. Four "adults" and my best friend died in a timespan of one month just last year.
    This is your blog. You reserve the rights to post what you want and if you want the comments or not.

    04.01.08 - 11:48 AM
  • 137. Heather B said:

    I have been a Medical Social Worker for 12 years. For 8 years I worked in long-term care and for a year I worked in hospice. These pictures were a reminder of how blessed I have been to be present in the lives of some amazing people and how honored I have been to be a part of their death.

    Thank you.

    04.01.08 - 11:48 AM
  • 138. Lani said:

    The faint smile on Beate's face in her second portrait gives me great hope that there is something better beyond all of this.

    04.01.08 - 11:50 AM
  • 139. Stephanie said:

    I will be standing in the sunshine next to you.

    This is why i love the internet. I would have never found that site on my own. I feel enlightened. thank you for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 11:50 AM
  • 140. Joyous said:

    Pictures and sites, such as these, should be brought to our attention more often. These pictures and stories make us realize that we should not take life for granted, and I think that a lot of us do. Thank you!

    04.01.08 - 11:50 AM
  • 141. Lesley said:

    Heartbreaking and beautiful. The sense of peace that emanates from the "after" photos is breathtaking. Thanks for sharing, Heather... I'm not sure I would've stumbled across them otherwise.

    04.01.08 - 11:50 AM
  • 142. Sara said:

    These took my breath away.

    Our culture is so achingly death-denying. We'd be better off if we were reminded more often.

    04.01.08 - 11:51 AM
  • 143. Stuckino said:

    The one certainty in life is death; it's inevitable, we should embrace it. I work in an ICU and it's sad to see so many patients and family members that extend their suffering because they are afraid to let go. The sadness of death is equaled by its beauty. It's like reading the last page of a great novel...

    04.01.08 - 11:51 AM
  • 144. Shannon said:

    I thought they were beautiful pictures. I held my dad's hand when he died at age 55 of brain cancer, and it is true what they say after all of that suffering they truly are at peace.
    Shannon

    04.01.08 - 11:52 AM
  • 145. kjc said:

    I've seen far more graphic "death" on TV... what was there to be nauseated by?

    By the way... My grandmother had tons of photos of various family members around the casket, before burial. Wake up Mimi this is nothing new.

    04.01.08 - 11:52 AM
  • 146. Wendi said:

    I actually hated the pictures. Why can't we spend more money on cancer research and treatment instead of this war? We could do so much more as a society. Please think about that when you vote in November.

    04.01.08 - 11:53 AM
  • 147. Anonymous said:

    its not like you didn't warn people about exactly what was in the pictures.

    04.01.08 - 11:54 AM
  • 148. Paula said:

    I found these very moving, and am sending the link to some of my friends who I think would also understand the fragility of life that the pictures convey (to me anyway). I really connected with the person who said she had never really lived until she found out she was dying. That struck me to my heart, and I don't want to say that at the end of my life. Time to evaluate what I am doing with my time here on earth.
    Thanks, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 11:54 AM
  • 149. College Mama said:

    I thought the photos were amazing. What a great way to honor those who have passed on. Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in dying any time soon. When the time does come, I'm sure I'll be fearful but when you think about it death really is a passage, much like being born. There should be a way to find some kind of joy or honor in people's passing. I think the photos do that in a way.

    04.01.08 - 11:54 AM
  • 150. Majik Man said:

    I kept telling myself that the second pictures were of them just sleeping. I am ignorant to the fact that someday, the oldest and greatest people in my life will die. I hate it.

    04.01.08 - 11:54 AM
  • 151. Rose said:

    I thought the pictures conveyed a sense of peace and dignity. In the end, that is all that we can hope for.

    To Mimi - sorry that you were disturbed, but you were WAY out of line in calling Heather names. Get a grip.

    04.01.08 - 11:55 AM
  • 152. Shini said:

    Death is beautiful, surely how one looks at death and faces it will tell you how they lived their entire life...thanks for the link.

    04.01.08 - 11:55 AM
  • 153. Molly said:

    I'm glad I looked at these. They are lovely, and terrible, and powerful in a way that only death can be. Thank you for showing this to us.

    04.01.08 - 11:55 AM
  • 154. HDC said:

    A very poignant collection and tasteful in every way. If anyone can't handle it, then they have much maturing to do.

    04.01.08 - 11:55 AM
  • 155. Alex said:

    Thank you for sharing... it was beautiful in it's own right. I think it really points out how beautiful life is and how it needs to be cherished. People insulted by REALITY need a reality check for themselves.

    04.01.08 - 11:55 AM
  • 156. Aiki said:

    I couldn't look. I'm a photographer and I still couldn't look. I am terrified of death. :(

    04.01.08 - 11:56 AM
  • 157. Nat W said:

    Not disturbing at all. Why are people so uncomfortable with death? I'd never seen my grandma look so peaceful than at her open-casket funeral.

    04.01.08 - 11:57 AM
  • 158. Kris said:

    Note to Mimi:

    It's not like Heather didn't give you any warning. My kindergartener could understand what "portraits before and after death" means.

    You're probably one of those people who sues companies because their coffee is too hot for you...or because their cheeseburgers made you fat.

    Sunshine and rainbows can be found on the Teletubbies site. Perhaps you should head over there.

    04.01.08 - 11:58 AM
  • 159. Court said:

    I personally thought they were beautiful like many others have said. They were not what I expected and most of them looked peaceful...

    Thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 11:58 AM
  • 160. JessicaP said:

    everyone looked so serne, and dare I even say happy in Death. Makes me fear it a little less, now. But only a little. I hope when my time comes I'm as ready for it as the people in the portraits seemed to be.

    04.01.08 - 11:58 AM
  • 161. Linda said:

    Sometimes it isn't bad to take 1/2 hour out of your day to think about the life lessons that become so apparent when facing death. These pictures weren't so much about death, but were about the lives of the people portrayed. They shared their stories and their thoughts with the world. This isn't meant to be disturbing or nauseating, I think that this is a beautiful celebration of the lives of these people. Their images are depicted very tastefully and professionally and this lets some of their last words of wisdom live on, even after their passing.

    I love reading funny and happy stories every day, but again, this shows everyone that your site is about REAL life and unfortunately, death is a very large part of this real life. It would be beneficial to read these people's brief stories and take a few minutes to appreciate the life that we've been given.

    Thank you for posting a site that I would definitely not have found on my own. It forced me out of my comfort zone, but I was riveted until I made it though the entire piece.

    04.01.08 - 11:59 AM
  • 162. Anonymous said:

    Interesting, since I am not a fan of viewing dead people, even family - that I found it very calming. I too, was hoping that just one would not die. I loved the stories and found myself sad when I read about the lady who stated that she never wanted to live until she knew she was goin to die. Thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 11:59 AM
  • 163. Megan said:

    Amazing photographs. Thank you for finding the site and posting it. Mimi has no clue and obviously should not have viewed the site. The photos and the stories of the people are actually very inspiring. They make me realize how lucky I am to be alive and have friends and family that love me!

    04.01.08 - 12:00 PM
  • 164. Jameykay said:

    As a photographer/photo student I am highly inspired by those images. They show such a bright side of the darkness through the use of life and death with photography. I think that series is brilliant. It didn't make me nauseous, it made me want to cry. The images should inspire everyone to live their lives to the fullest because one could never know what will happen in the end.

    04.01.08 - 12:00 PM
  • 165. Cindy said:

    I think they're beautiful pictures. You described the link very accurately, so people who aren't comfortable looking at the pictures of the deceased shouldn't click on the link- it's that simple.

    Working in long-term care, I've had the opportunity be around deceased residents on several occasions. Before experiencing it, I thought being alone in a room with a dead body would be a nightmare, but it isn't frightening at all if it's a person who died of natural causes. I was grateful to have a moment to pay my respects privately.

    04.01.08 - 12:01 PM
  • 166. Erin said:

    I'm speechless...this is beautiful and chilling. Thank you for posting this.

    04.01.08 - 12:01 PM
  • 167. Liz said:

    haunting and beautiful all at once and a reminder to get out there and live life now

    thanks Heather

    04.01.08 - 12:02 PM
  • 168. Brennan said:

    I'm in awe of whoever took those photos. Not because they've got enough balls to actually do it, but to care enough about what people don't usually see to make a project to make people wake up.

    04.01.08 - 12:02 PM
  • 169. Amanda said:

    Wow Heather thank you so much for putting these up. I think seeing these pictures were the kick in the arse that I needed to re-arrange a few things in my life.

    04.01.08 - 12:03 PM
  • 170. Fern said:

    Mimi apparently didn't understand what "dead" meant. Mimi - chill out!

    This was an awesome series of portraits and a good daily dose of reality check.

    04.01.08 - 12:03 PM
  • 171. Lisa said:

    I'm a hospice nurse by way of the ICU, so I've seen my fair share of death in person...trust me when I say that while it is a very moving, individual, and even intimate experience to witness someone dying, "nauseating" is not a word that pops to mind.

    These pictures are beautiful and reminded me of my special patients/friends. Thank you!!

    04.01.08 - 12:04 PM
  • 172. Erin said:

    It was hard to breathe while I was looking at the pictures. I'm not sure why, because I had a persistent feeling throughout that life is the illusion and what comes after is so much greater.

    04.01.08 - 12:06 PM
  • 173. leslie said:

    I watched my father die of cancer almost two years ago. He was only 68 years old and he went very quickly. Within nine months of being diagnosed with bladder cancer, he was gone. He didn't want to die and fought it until the very last week of his life. It was painful to watch the strongest man I ever knew cry and look at me like he was begging to live. When he died he looked like he was 80 years old. I thought I wouldn't want to see him in his casket. I did not want to remember him that way but it was a comfort. I looked at the body in that casket and knew it was no longer my father. It was a confirmation of my faith. Our body is a vessel for our spirit and nothing confirms it more than to see the utter transformation of the human body from life to death. These images did not disturb me in any way, in fact, they again reaffirm my spiritual beliefs.

    04.01.08 - 12:06 PM
  • 174. Anonymous said:

    I was afraid, yet felt compelled, to click on the link. Mimi, I found my mother, dead in her chair. I watched my aunt die. These were peaceful, poignant and fascinating portraits. The narratives were more heart-rending than the mere pictures. We shouldn't fear death--only wasted lives. Thanks for sharing, Heather!

    04.01.08 - 12:07 PM
  • 175. maggie said:

    How can you deal with these nutty demanding people every day? I give you alot of credit.

    You said what they where about. Geez. Don't you just want to fill their inbox with spam and poop?

    I opened the link and saw exactly what I expected. death. Great link by the way.

    Now........

    Do Work !

    04.01.08 - 12:07 PM
  • 176. Jaida said:

    Heather, along with your humor and insight, you always continue to inspire. To those who may be appalled to see these pictures, you don't realize art really does imitate life. Art inspires, angers, and stirs our deepest emotions. If you still don't get it after that, go live in a cave until you die.

    Keep up the great work my dear. I hope to meet your goofy butt some day.

    04.01.08 - 12:07 PM
  • 177. Mitch McDad said:

    I don't get it. The only thing as natural as life is death. I don't see what is so controversial about these photos. And to be nauseated by them; grow up.

    04.01.08 - 12:07 PM
  • 178. Kiminchrg said:

    I loved the pictures. Beautiful & very haunting!

    And it was nice, in the captions, to see a little humor to... "And I just bought a deep freezer. If I'd only known!" That's something my family would say.

    Thansk for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:08 PM
  • 179. Simon said:

    The pictures are beautiful. The distance between life and death can be as little as the difference between two clicks of a camera shutter.

    Get out there and do something before you hear the second click.

    04.01.08 - 12:09 PM
  • 180. Miss said:

    I think they were beautiful but then, I don't have hang ups about death.

    Not that I want to experience it personally.

    04.01.08 - 12:09 PM
  • 181. Karrie said:

    I feel bad saying I 'enjoyed' looking at pictures and reading about people who were sick and who died, but I really loved that you posted the link for it and I'm so glad I looked at it. I thought it was so interesting... more the interview part than the pictures, actually. Alot of them seemed so sad and so empty and really just mad about dying. I find that extremely interesting... something so many could learn from.
    I just can't imagine having that feeling - the empty or the questioning... I feel sad for them

    Very interesting, Heather. Thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:09 PM
  • 182. Mer said:

    I think people surf the Internet at their own risk.

    Jason Kottke posted the same link and he didn't have comments. Why are you obligated to open comments?

    Get over it, Mimi.

    04.01.08 - 12:10 PM
  • 183. angela said:

    I like to cook; caring for others by preparing a meal to nourish their bodies means a lot to me. It really irritates me when someone can't bear to look at raw meat, but has no problem eating a hamburger. Become a vegetarian; I promise I won't make too much fun of you...

    Mimi's e-mail pissed me off. She was specifically told what they were and STILL looked at them anyway. If a person cannot look at something natural like death, she probably doesn't deserve the blessing of life.

    04.01.08 - 12:10 PM
  • 184. Chris Austria said:

    The pictures reminded me so much of my grandfather. Reading through the comments, you certainly have a lot of loyal fans.

    Did you know what kind of comments you'll receive when you enabled the comments section?

    04.01.08 - 12:11 PM
  • 185. MelissaS said:

    I think Mimi is terrified of death and needs a hug.

    The woman who felt rejected by life itself, so painful. I hope death has given her something she needed while in this life.

    04.01.08 - 12:11 PM
  • 186. MomVee said:

    Not nauseating. Fascinating how people cease to look like themselves in death, as if the soul really does animate the face, even in photographic respose.

    04.01.08 - 12:11 PM
  • 187. robinv said:

    Thanks for opening comments on this one.
    If someone is nauseated by death, I feel they not only fear death, but living also. It's sad when someone can't/won't face the inevitable reality that we all die. I am happy to see that so many had a peaceful look on their faces. I saw that peace come over my father's face the day he died. It was very comforting.
    Thanks for posting the link.

    04.01.08 - 12:12 PM
  • 188. KittyJJ said:

    Just like the first commenter: beautiful and amazing, and incredibly moving.

    I would like to thank you for directing me towards those. I felt the photographer's work was compassionate and important, in relation to a subject that is as inescapeable as it is often ignored.

    04.01.08 - 12:12 PM
  • 189. Nikki said:

    They all look so peaceful...

    04.01.08 - 12:12 PM
  • 190. Jordan said:

    I think these pictures are amazing and complex and powerful.

    They make me thankful for my healthy pregnancy and excited to meet the baby that is on the way into my life. At the same time they also make me feel sad and a little heartsick and lonely.

    I think provoking such complicated ideas and emotions is a sign of truly amazing art.

    04.01.08 - 12:13 PM
  • 191. Sheri Bheri said:

    I have tears in my eyes, because that was so beautiful! And haunting.

    I think it was really tastefully done, and it's not as if you tricked anyone into going to see disturbing photos of gruesome deaths.

    But I could see it being troublesome for someone who has cancer (or who loves someone who has cancer). I did have a moment of picturing my Mom (I can't even say it) and it troubled me greatly (still does).

    04.01.08 - 12:14 PM
  • 192. Vanesa said:

    I found them to be hauntingly beautiful.

    04.01.08 - 12:14 PM
  • 193. K said:

    It never fails to surprise me the way people take ownership of you and your website. It's good they feel so invested, but it's your perogative to open comments when you feel like it. The end.

    Anyway, thanks for the link.

    04.01.08 - 12:14 PM
  • 194. sheeply said:

    These photos were surprisingly calming; not the contorted, painful vision we are subjected to in fiction and film. I only hope my passing and that of those I love is as peaceful as these pictures seem to portray.

    In reply to your email comment, a fear of death is no more than an uncertainty that one's life is not real. Life without death is not real. Death is the one thing that brings any human being, irrespective of gender, religion, colour, creed, salary and social status, together. Live your life, and then die your death. Its the way things are meant to be.

    04.01.08 - 12:15 PM
  • 195. kalen said:

    i felt... bothered. though i think the idea can be poetically beautiful, sure, i still felt odd and undeserving of seeing the deceased that i didn't personally know. if that makes sense?

    04.01.08 - 12:15 PM
  • 196. willikat said:

    i thought the photos shed a very dignified light on something that to many people, feels undignified. the photos made me very sad, but they were not grotesque or exploitative in any way. and yes, there was some kind of peace that seemed to be there in the death photos. and that was, in its own way, comforting.

    04.01.08 - 12:15 PM
  • 197. Christina said:

    In January 2006 my 34 year old cousin was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. In June 2006 she died. I wrote my masters thesis on the subject of death and grief that same year because the experience had such a profound effect on me. Part of Mimi's "problem" is simply societal - Americans are less comfortable with death and dying than people in other countries, other cultures. When people die here they are whisked off and prepared by other people and then they reappear in a funeral home or church. Death and dying are taboo and they make people uncomfortable. When I looked at those pictures I saw my cousin's face in every one of them. Thanks for posting them Heather.

    I took pictures of my cousin (at her mother's request) in the hours after she had passed away. I haven't seen them but I think maybe now I want to.

    04.01.08 - 12:15 PM
  • 198. Angel in Kentucky said:

    My Mother died from cancer (at 61). I watched her breathe, and I watched it stop. Looking at those photos reminded me of those last moments with her, which I would NEVER change. As one hospice person said to me....."How much closer can you get to Heaven's Light, than to be with the one you love, while they are dying?" Profoundly HONEST.
    Thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:16 PM
  • 199. Suzie said:

    I thought these were lovely. I know these particular photos were chosen to tell a story, but it was amazing to me that some of the more anxious people alive look so at peace dead.

    My own father lays dying as I type-and his dementia has stolen who it was we knew. The man that inhabits his body these days is someone none of us recognize-an angry destructive man my gentle and funny father would have hated.

    I'm hoping death brings back the gentle man he was-if even only to his face. These photos bring me that hope.

    Thank you for the link.

    04.01.08 - 12:16 PM
  • 200. Tina Ericson said:

    Death is as real and as perfect as life. It is exactly what it is supposed to be and it is an eventuality that we must all learn to live with. Living with an understanding and acceptance of death is a rich and powwerful thing. Embracing the fact that we will one day die should free us to live our lives in a manner in which we are able to find peace, beauty and purpose.

    The only regret for death should be for those who did not have the opportunity to live life as it should have been. Those from whom life was taken too quickly, or too violently, but when old age brings us to the end of a life well lived it is an accomplishment that should be met with joy and gratitude.

    04.01.08 - 12:16 PM
  • 201. Lisa said:

    Powerful. Amazing. I was with my aunt when she died after a long fight with cancer. It was the most beautiful and heartbreaking experience of my life.

    04.01.08 - 12:16 PM
  • 202. all things BD said:

    After reading the description, I chose not to click over and view the photos. I wish Mimi would have been more the wiser. If you can't tell from that description that you need to be prepared and ready to view them, then I don't know what to say.

    You have every right to post those photos, and I appreciate your making it a link instead of putting them up as the first thing you see so that I was able to make that choice.

    Thanks for opening up the comments so I could share.

    04.01.08 - 12:16 PM
  • 203. Steph said:

    I thought they were very peaceful and I also thought the text accompanying the pictures was so insighful and touching. My dad has cancer and while it looks like it's treatable I often wonder what he really thinks about everything (I don't think he would ever really tell me). Reading about their diseases and the emotions that come with it was very powerful.

    04.01.08 - 12:16 PM
  • 204. Amy said:

    Well said, Simon (#179).

    Suggested additional reading: On Photography by Susan Sontag.

    04.01.08 - 12:17 PM
  • 205. Robin said:

    I'm with anonymous commenter number 6. We have no place for death in our culture. I appreciate bringing it to our conscious daily lives. Thank you for posting that link.

    04.01.08 - 12:17 PM
  • 206. Stephani said:

    I didn't find these nauseating, but they did make me feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable at the thought that some of those people were panicked in the end because they knew they were going to die soon. Uncomfortable with the feeling that perhaps a number of these people believed one thing their entire life and when they took their final breath they realized the world was wrong. The one in particular that brought tears to my eyes and a knot in my throat was the lady who studied her spiritual guru's teachings about the afterlife, and spent the last moments of her life on earth trying to detach herself from another human being. It breaks my heart because I believe God loves us so much that he gave us those special people on earth to whom we can attached and grow to love more and more every day. A God that doesn't reject us for loving so much on earth, but a God that says I love you you enough to offer eternal life to you and to those who you love so much it hurts. And even though you are so attached to the things of this earth I will bring you to a place where you can experience life and a love deeper than you've ever known. And those people who you were attached to in your final moments, the ones that you were so bonded to? Well I love them enough that when their time has come, I offer them the same choice to join us.

    Sorry for the novel, just felt really moved by those photos. So thanks for sharing them.

    04.01.08 - 12:19 PM
  • 207. Jenny said:

    They made me uncomfortable, but it was a good kind of uncomfortable, I think. The reality of death is something that it's difficult to make my mind consider. I was riveted, but I don't think I'll revisit them.

    Confidential to Mimi: comments on dooce.com are *usually* closed.

    04.01.08 - 12:19 PM
  • 208. lisa-marie said:

    I think if someone doesn't want to look at photos of deceased or nearly deceased people, maybe they shouldn't click on the link.

    04.01.08 - 12:21 PM
  • 209. Allison said:

    This photos made me cry and cry and cry. I sobbed until I had nothing left.

    And now I feel better. Guess it's just what I needed today.

    Thanks, Dooce.

    04.01.08 - 12:21 PM
  • 210. shuping said:

    I thought I would be frightened, but I didn't.

    These pictures gave me a lot to think about life and death, and most of us would like to avoid the matter entirely if possible.

    This goes to show how transient life is, isn't it?

    04.01.08 - 12:21 PM
  • 211. Ashley said:

    Usually things that make me think of dying make me feel sick almost, but these portraits were really just ... beautiful. I cried when I read about some of the people even, but only because I thought their stories were sad.

    I'm glad you opened comments, because I would like to say thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:21 PM
  • 212. Nora said:

    haunting and somehow a little inspiring. i have a lot of respect and admiration for the photographer, and for the people photographed. that is an impossible time of one's life, and to be willing to share it like that is unreal.

    04.01.08 - 12:22 PM
  • 213. Allison said:

    Loved it and made me want to be a Hospice volunteer. The dying are the only ones that don't take life for granted!
    P.S. Bo is adorable

    04.01.08 - 12:22 PM
  • 214. Nikki said:

    Thank you so so much for posting this. I reposted it on my website to get more eyes.

    04.01.08 - 12:22 PM
  • 215. Lisa Armosino Morris said:

    I thought those images were amazing, and I marveled at how much more peaceful and even content those brave souls looked in the pictures taken after they passed.

    Shame on YOU, Mimi, for pushing your neurotic phobias on Heather, and for challenging her to make them public so that you can annoy the rest of us as well...I volunteer photography services to an organization that offers bereavement photo sessions for families that suffer early infant loss. Should I tell those parents that they're sick and morbid for wanting photos of their precious babies, simply because they may have already passed? It's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

    Do us a favor and remove your Dooce bookmark. We'll all be happier that way.

    04.01.08 - 12:22 PM
  • 216. Debbie said:

    I just got to the eighth image - the one about the younger woman with a husband and a child. I'm in tears and I find the pictures hard to look at, but I think that has more to do with my own fears regarding illness, aging, and dying, and not so much the images themselves.

    Incidentally, I found it interesting that the photographer is German. I am of German-Mennonite descent, and it's customary - at least in my family and many families in our culture - to take photos of a loved one after their death. There are often photos of open caskets, photos during the graveside ceremony. There are even photos of the family surrounding the open casket.

    You can imagine that as a child I found this VERY difficult, and only recently have I been able to come around to it. But when it's my mother's funeral that I'm organizing - you better believe that is one tradition that we will NOT carry on.

    04.01.08 - 12:23 PM
  • 217. Maeby said:

    Seriously, some people will just complain about ANYTHING.
    Get over it. If you dont like it, dont look at it. She cant please EVERYONE.

    04.01.08 - 12:23 PM
  • 218. monkeyaker said:

    Isn't it obvious when it says "Portraits before and after death"? I mean, it's pretty well described there. Don't click on it if you don't want to see "Portraits before and after death".

    If you post the link "XXX PORN"- you might want to warn people what it goes to in advance- because some can't figure it out from the name.

    04.01.08 - 12:23 PM
  • 219. MB said:

    My Great Grandmother died at the age of 93 and we all comforted ourselves with the thought that she had lived a long and full life.

    Until I discovered later that she had at one point grasped my Mom's hand in fear and almost sobbed "I don't want to die."

    Those photos made me uncomfortable. But it's the kind of "uncomfortable" of having to shift perceptions you like keeping firmly in place. Not nauseating uncomfortable.

    As a Mom the one that really hit me in the gut was the 44 year old woman that was too sad to leave her husband and children. So she chose to die alone.

    04.01.08 - 12:23 PM
  • 220. Joy Zaczyk said:

    Haunting - and daunting.

    04.01.08 - 12:23 PM
  • 221. Mandy said:

    The "after" photos were so peaceful. They actually had a calm to them.
    Thanks for sharing!

    04.01.08 - 12:24 PM
  • 222. fiona said:

    Thanks for sharing. I have been haunted for 10 years with the images of my own Father's death from cancer. These pictures showed me that death can be a peaceful thing, too, and eased my soul. Thanks for bringing me a little peace.

    04.01.08 - 12:24 PM
  • 223. Sarah said:

    I'm a nurse in an ICU so I wasn't particularly uncomfortable with the subject matter. What I think struck me most is that the oldest person featured -the last- was the most at peace with her fate. "one of the million, billion grains of sand in the desert." while, the younger subjects seemed to express regret over missed opportunities or the feeling of being robbed. I guess it really drives home the old saying "live every day as though it were your last"...although, sometimes I fear that is not entirely possible... It definitely moved me to tears.

    04.01.08 - 12:25 PM
  • 224. Sarah said:

    If this Walter photographer dude showed up at my house and was all, "Hey, I hear you've got a cold. Can I snap a quick pic?" I totally would NOT answer the door.

    04.01.08 - 12:25 PM
  • 225. Katie! said:

    I am a medical student and, thus, am forced to look at death all the time. However, I study it from a detached, analytical perspective, trying to learn from the dead to help the living.

    These photos are gorgeous and reminded me of the innate beauty in both life and death. I am so glad to have seen them today and to have, in a small way, shared in the beauty of these brave people's lives.

    Thanks for sharing, Dooce.

    04.01.08 - 12:26 PM
  • 226. the wolf said:

    I'm just glad my picture wasn't in there.

    04.01.08 - 12:26 PM
  • 227. Anonymous said:

    thank you for opening this post to comments. i only accidentally looked at the 1st person because you don't mention it is PEOPLE dying until after the link (and i still read and click FAST despite my lack of energy due to end-stage cancer...). so i figured i would see animal studies - since you are a known animal lover (at least dogs). Could you please note in the link it is people you are talking about? I am 48 years old and have a 17 year old daughter who also reads your column and im not sure i would want her seeing these studies at this time. they can be very upsetting to those of us who are in this position, and to our loved ones, but i think there is great strength and reason to link to such a project (that is, if the photographer had the subjects' permission to be photographed after death - i'm assuming he/she did since there were interviews done). My point is that the viewing should be optional. i chose to look at only the first two pictures as they brought up difficult feelings that i don't need right now. but i fully support this type of project - it helps to demystify death, i think - and fully support your right to link to to it.

    thanks for your provocative columns and incredible writing.

    04.01.08 - 12:26 PM
  • 228. Addie said:

    Thanks for this link. I don't know if peaceful is the word I would use more than inspiring. There was an overall feeling of disappointment in their words...maybe regret.

    It inspired me to live in the "what if". Death is such a reality that every one of us will have to face at some point. This brought to life that reality.

    Amazing!

    04.01.08 - 12:26 PM
  • 229. junewell said:

    These pictures were really moving. There is truly something wrong with our culture. We have all these TV shows and movies where people get shot and brutally tortured. Countless detective novels, even romance/thrillers, where people are horribly killed. But real death eludes us. It is so much more meaningful and even beautiful when presented this way, although it is a good reminder to read how much the people pictured long for more time. Kudos to them for, among other things, sharing their images and stories with us.

    04.01.08 - 12:26 PM
  • 230. Jessica said:

    I didn't like the pictures because I have an issue with death. Having said that, I think linking to it with full knowledge of what awaits is my own issue. Thank you for continually providing what you feel is interesting. Oh yeah, and tell Mimi that if she doesn't like it, don't look!

    04.01.08 - 12:27 PM
  • 231. Madden said:

    As I looked I felt like I was sneaking a peek at something I was going to get in trouble for looking at. I find that strange. I actually felt like I needed to close it (but couldn't) or else I was going to (for lack of a better way to put it) catch it? Death?

    Translation: I was raised Catholic. Everything in life gives me guilt.

    :)

    Thanks for sharing!

    04.01.08 - 12:27 PM
  • 232. Megan said:

    I don't think I've ever commented here before, but I wanted to thank you for posting this link. The portraits were haunting and amazing, and the accompanying texts touch on important points related to the process of dying, although I won't deny they are difficult to read at times.

    I'm a resident in pediatrics, so I have some limited experience in dealing with death, but we (in peds, I mean) don't seem to have discussions about it in quite this way.

    04.01.08 - 12:27 PM
  • 233. Aimee said:

    There's something so beautiful and fragile about these photos - if nothing else, I think these maybe made me a little less afraid of death. Thanks for the link, Heather, this was something I really needed to see.

    04.01.08 - 12:28 PM
  • 234. Texchic said:

    I found these pictures very peaceful, yet eerily haunting. that the studies are in black and white make them more dramatic still. I always appreciate the fascinating links you post. Thanks for this one!

    04.01.08 - 12:30 PM
  • 235. Pants said:

    You wanna know what I think? I think girls named Mimi are bitches.

    04.01.08 - 12:30 PM
  • 236. Erika said:

    I hope that I live my life in such a fashion that when death comes I am ready to welcome it with open arms. I thought the portraits were beautiful. The sad ones were the people who were so mad they had missed out on living.

    04.01.08 - 12:30 PM
  • 237. Angela said:

    i thought the photos were simply amazing.

    having experienced death so closely myself... hey mimi, try being 25 years old, standing in the morgue, confirming the identify of your died 24 year old husband. then we shall talk about nauseating...

    i thought the photos were thought provoking and the captions invigorating. if we can not learn to live from those before us then we will never learn to live.

    04.01.08 - 12:31 PM
  • 238. Cindy said:

    thank you Heather

    I'm going through cancer treatment now. I don't know how things will go so it's a scary time but your post here made me curious too, what maybe is ahead and what will it look like? The photo's and especially the words give me a little peek and I'm surprised to find many of them comforting.

    an opportunity now to thank you too for all that you share here, I so look forward to your posts! you make me smile and laugh and that is such a gift, my love to you and your dear family :)

    04.01.08 - 12:31 PM
  • 239. Di said:

    Those pictures and stories were beautiful. Death is sad, and its scary IMO because its so final - there is nothing more definite.

    My dad died 5 years ago from pancreatic cancer. After he was sent home on hospice care, he joked with me and my sisters that he would wait until it was just me in the room and then take his last breath, knowing how terrified I'd always been of death and the deceased. On Feb 25th, 2003 he did just that. He waited until my sister left for class, my uncle was in the kitchen on the phone, and I was sitting holding his hand. And he took his last breath.

    There is no greater gift to receive, than being allowed to witness someones passing, and eternal release from pain and torture.

    Kudos to you Heather. Thank you for posting that link.

    04.01.08 - 12:31 PM
  • 240. Melly said:

    That Mimi was nauseated by these respectful images portraying the most simple fact of life and death scares me for her.

    Thanks for the link—soul-clenching images!

    04.01.08 - 12:31 PM
  • 241. Scout798 said:

    I have to say,.. I have been afraid of death since I was a little girl. I have done a lot of thinking on the subject and I'm not sure I'm much more comfortable with it now as an adult. I was almost afraid to click on it but I'm all about facing my fears. This site actually helped bring a sence of quiet and peace to my view of what death is.

    I think that its your site,... you can post what you want. I just thank you for posting this.

    04.01.08 - 12:31 PM
  • 242. Trishk said:

    I think they are beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:32 PM
  • 243. Jady said:

    BTW....

    Am I the only one who thought this was going to be some terribly dark April Fools Day joke? I thought it'd be a link to a zombie website or something.

    before I clicked, I was all 'Ohhhh, Heather...you're totally going to get some noise for this. There's gonna be a lot of people bitchin to you tonight!"

    04.01.08 - 12:32 PM
  • 244. Talon said:

    Since the death of my son in 1997 I've felt that our society's attitude towards death is fucked up. Seriously fucked up. I always thought my family had a pretty healthy attitude towards death (and I've found, it's true, we do) but it apparently doesn't apply to the death of a child. (in my case, a full term, four day old baby)

    That aside, we chose to not allow any pictures after Rhys died. But they used to be pretty common. I think this study, with the pictures soon before and after death along with the interviews are amazing. They didn't shock me, or upset me, but I've had too much of death in my life to not look it squarely in the eye and see it for what it is.

    And I'd like to send out a great big FUCK YOU to Mimi. Your attitude towards death is one of the problems with our society. *puts as much animosity as possible into my internetz middle finger.*

    04.01.08 - 12:32 PM
  • 245. Rachel D. said:

    If Mimi is that sensitive to these types of images, then she had no business clicking a link titled "Portraits Before and After Death". What did she expect...cupcakes and puppies? As for condemning your decision to close the comments...erm, aren't they usually closed?

    Onwards:
    Moving. I had a lump in my throat throughout the read. Thanks for the link, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 12:32 PM
  • 246. Sarah said:

    Amazing site and amazing photos. This is something I would not have found on my own, so thank you so much for sharing.

    P.S. You are sooo not a chicken shit.

    04.01.08 - 12:32 PM
  • 247. Ally said:

    Haunting and evocative.

    My mother only recently stopped carrying around in her purse the pictures taken of my grandmother immediately after she had died. Yaya (my grandmother) died of cancer of everything (literally), and my mother was unable to be with her (she lived in Australia). I was always distressed by the way she would look at them, fondly, usually whispering "look, she's only sleeping," but after seeing this series of portraits I'm beginning to understand.

    04.01.08 - 12:33 PM
  • 248. Liz said:

    Startling and unsettling, certainly. But for one of your audience members to be nauseated by such an intimate depiction of human frailty shows a marked lack of soul.

    04.01.08 - 12:33 PM
  • 249. Jodi said:

    Let's see...... she CHOSE to read your blog, and she CHOSE to click the link.....but it's all YOUR fault. I see. What scares me about people these days is that they take no responsibility for their OWN actions and always have someone ELSE to blame.

    I loved the photos. We all die - and a humane look at it is comforting. Thanks, Dooce!

    04.01.08 - 12:34 PM
  • 250. Cori said:

    I thought the photos were very sad and beautiful.

    As for the individuals who found it disturbing, they had the option not to click the link, especially since there was a description of the contents.

    04.01.08 - 12:34 PM
  • 251. Kate said:

    Those were amazing. Sad and haunting, yes, but also peaceful and respectful. Think before you click, Mimi.

    04.01.08 - 12:34 PM
  • 252. Mary Dawn said:

    i was moved, but in an inspired kinda way...dilute the haterade, meems

    04.01.08 - 12:34 PM
  • 253. Brian said:

    I don't use this word very often, because it is a bit overused, but the first word that came to mind after viewing a few sets was 'poignant.'

    04.01.08 - 12:35 PM
  • 254. Melissa said:

    Ok, I'm totally confused what is horrible about those pictures? Ironically, it looks like most of them are asleep as opposed to dead.

    Why are we as a country so afraid of death...I mean really, we're not going to get out of this alive.

    Not to mention I'm sure every single one of those people consented to have the photographs taken. Sheesh, it's art people, lighten up!!

    04.01.08 - 12:35 PM
  • 255. marlene said:

    thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:36 PM
  • 256. Jen said:

    Wow. Very Real. Very Interesting!

    This comment hit me hard.....

    i kept hoping they wouldnt die in the next photo
    by Anonymous

    04.01.08 - 12:36 PM
  • 257. Jennsa said:

    These photos are very evocotive and real.

    Somewhere along the way someone said that if you are afraid of death it is because you are afraid of how you've lived your life and this is an idea I can get behind. Live your life like you mean it--like it's not just one big accident waiting to happen.

    I think everyone responds to and deals with death in their own way. Last year my uncle died of lung cancer and my grandma was distraught. It was really difficult for my cousins to be both respectful of my uncles wishes and also honour my grandma as his mother. Grandma insisted on having a viewing of the body (and my cousins really did not think their dad would have wanted that). But it was important for her in her grief to have that closure, to see him finally at peace.

    I didn't view the body. My memories are old and they are happy--and I wanted to keep remembering him that way.

    04.01.08 - 12:36 PM
  • 258. Kelly said:

    Beautiful and thought provoking. Inspiring.

    04.01.08 - 12:37 PM
  • 259. lentilka said:

    Yes, the death can be so disturbing but the liveliness the day before death is almost shocking and gives an account how powerful living mind is. If anything, to me, these pictures are more about life than death.

    Thanks for sharing. No doubt a very moving exhibit but I see how some people cannot deal with difficult subjects and become very aggressive as a result. The irony of that email is so blatant.

    04.01.08 - 12:38 PM
  • 260. Amy Prisco said:

    I'm a little nauseated. Cancer.

    04.01.08 - 12:38 PM
  • 261. Peggy said:

    I thought the pictures were very interesting. Very sad and beautiful.
    And you know what? It's real easy not to look at something if you think it is going to be too upseting.
    Why she blames you is beyond me.
    You didn't force her to look.

    04.01.08 - 12:39 PM
  • 262. kate said:

    You posted, I knew what they were, and I couldn't look all the way through the first time. But I came back - and again. And I am quietly horrified at myself for being so fascinated. These photos make my soul hurt. They are so close, so intense. But thank you for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:39 PM
  • 263. Xnij said:

    To me, the pictures are eerily beautiful.
    Amazing how different, and how peaceful they look in the second picture.
    Sad in some ways, yes, but hopeful too.

    Nice to read many of them complimented the care they recieved from the staff.

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 264. Marianne said:

    I especially liked that though each of the people portrayed showed different emotion in their living portraits, they all share this look of peace and calm in their 'after' portraits.

    This was a new way to look at death, for me - detached but also deeply emotional.

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 265. Seriouslythough said:

    I didn't read all the comments so I'm sure someone already said this, but she needs to get a grip. Take some responsibility for your own actions. Unless you were a moron, you knew what the link was going to be. It's not like it was on the home page. You chose to click on it, why are you complaining?

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 266. Talon said:

    I also wish I could email this commenter:

    215. Lisa Armosino Morris

    And tell her thank you for what she does for bereaved parents.

    If you could, please pass along my thanks, as a bereaved parent. We had four days with our son, and many pictures of him alive...but so many parents don't have that gift.

    Thanks.

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 267. mommahadcancer said:

    thank you for sharing these photos. my mother died of breast cancer. I miss her so much sometimes. seeing these pics reminded me of the peaceful look she had on her face when she passed. All of the fear, pain and anguish washed away. god bless hospice workers. True living angels. also reminds me to cherish the life I have now.

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 268. Chris said:

    Anyone who would object to the photo essay is obviously not aware that people die in real life. In our pristine, sanitized Western World we forget about realities... like death.

    Claiming to be nauseated by the photos likely means someone needs to come to terms with REALITY.

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 269. Anonymous said:

    The price of admission

    04.01.08 - 12:40 PM
  • 270. Talon said:

    I also wish I could email this commenter:

    215. Lisa Armosino Morris

    And tell her thank you for what she does for bereaved parents.

    If you could, please pass along my thanks, as a bereaved parent. We had four days with our son, and many pictures of him alive...but so many parents don't have that gift.

    Thanks.

    04.01.08 - 12:41 PM
  • 271. Dana said:

    I thought they were beautiful. Death is a part of the life process, and I agree with one of the first posters who stated that those who are afraid of death aren't comfortable with the way they're living their life.

    04.01.08 - 12:41 PM
  • 272. Anonymous said:

    Those photos were so touching. The photographer seemed to take such great care to show those people's spirit and soul. Had it been done distatefully, I could understand that woman's comments, because normally, seeing dead people would freak me out. However, these pictures were beautiful, and very inspiring.

    04.01.08 - 12:41 PM
  • 273. Nancy said:

    I had a bad day at work today, I always go to Dooce's site for a laugh because she very rarely posts negative things - and if she does, she makes humour out of it.

    Looking at those photos made me realize that today is a day that I'm healthy, and living with my whole life ahead of me. They were sad and beautiful at the same time.

    Thank you for posting it, Heather.

    04.01.08 - 12:41 PM
  • 274. Danielle said:

    I thought it was beautiful, but frightening. A reminder that you could be fine one minute and with one trip to the doctor you realize you can no longer be there for your children. Thank you for sharing. Most of them looked peaceful in the end.

    04.01.08 - 12:41 PM
  • 275. Christina said:

    The comments here gave me the courage to actually follow the link and look at the pictures. They were, as everyone has already mentioned, beautiful and poignant. I understand why you don't leave comments open all the time, but I'm glad you did open them today. Death scares me and I was afraid to look it in the face.

    04.01.08 - 12:42 PM
  • 276. Phaedrous said:

    As someone who has experienced the death of my partner in life, and as one who has terminal cancer myself, I found these photographs fascinating and the stories that went with them even more so.

    I am curious about what awaits me, but as the solo parent of two teenagers, I am in no rush to find out.

    Thanks for posting the link.

    P.

    04.01.08 - 12:42 PM
  • 277. Maggie said:

    Mindy at #56, they made me cry, too.

    04.01.08 - 12:42 PM
  • 278. haley said:

    I think the photographs were a beautiful tribute and a wake up call from beyond. These people knew they were dying soon, and all most wanted was another chance to live LIFE. Not exist in the world. I cannot say I have a had a personal experience watching a loved one die of cancer, and maybe the pictures triggered some memory. But I think they were all done in a way that did glorified the subject in their beauty in death. They were not shots of a bloody, bruised mass of a body.

    04.01.08 - 12:43 PM
  • 279. Anonymous said:

    Thank you, Heather!

    My grandmother died on Thanksgiving, in her bedroom surrounded by her relatives. It was so peaceful; so often we see death depicted in a violent manner. She lived to a ripe old age, and I am so glad we knew the end was coming so we could say our goodbyes.

    Seeing these photos comforted me. I am so glad you posted the link.

    04.01.08 - 12:43 PM
  • 280. Emily said:

    I think they are beautiful and incredibly moving. Thanks for sharing.

    04.01.08 - 12:43 PM
  • 281. g.mango said:

    brilliant. experiencing death without your own grief overshadowing every other feeling is a nice change.

    04.01.08 - 12:43 PM
  • 282. carrie said:

    Very interesting. I totally get the sun in your face part... heading out there now.

    04.01.08 - 12:43 PM
  • 283. Amy said:

    I thought these photos were extremely powerful. I have no idea why someone would be offended with you for posting about them on your site. That is, unless they are not comfortable themselves with how they feel about life and death. Everyone is not at the same place with those things. I know I don't want to die and even talking about me or my loved ones dying makes me terribly sad. But to be offended is weird.

    Thanks for posting this link. I'm so glad I looked at those pictures and read the stories. We can never have too many reminders to keep living and loving life as best we can.

    04.01.08 - 12:43 PM
  • 284. Michelle said:

    I held my grandmother's hand when she took her last breath -it was the hardest and yet the most overwhelmingly powerful thing I have ever done. Death is going to happen to us all...and we all have the choice to admit that or not, to look at the photos or not, to live our lives the way we choose. I for one appreciate the sharing of such work as another perspecitive on something I can choose to look at, choose to agree with (or not) and choose to ignore if it bothers me.

    Life is all about personal preferences that make us unique and choices.

    04.01.08 - 12:44 PM
  • 285. Valerie said:

    This reminded me of the Six Feet Under episode when Claire was found taking pictures of a woman in her casket because she thought it was so beautiful and exciting.
    It also reminded me of all the pictures we took of my stillborn son. We wanted visual reminders of his life and death so we could grieve his death while celebrating his life in my womb. Some people in our life thought this was a very "sick" thing to do (their words). One thing we realized as we went through the death of Brennan is that people are very wary of death because they can't control it and they don't understand WHY. Death is a part of life and when it happens in your family/circle of friends, it is devastating. Honor your loved ones who have died by being more gentle with strangers who say nasty things because they are terrified. Love more fiercely and unconditionally. Be more accepting.
    Thank you, Heather for being brave enough to link to such beautiful, poignant pictures of life and death. Most people would rather avoid it all together.

    04.01.08 - 12:44 PM
  • 286. Amy said:

    I thought they were very poignant. Obviously, if these people consented to have their pictures taken by the photographer, they had a story they wanted told. If Mimi doesn't like it, she shouldn't have clicked through. It's not like you said, "Look! Puppies!!!" and posted a link to a bunch of pictures of dead people. You said, "Look, dead people," and she got what she ought to have expected.

    The portraits are beautiful and tastefully done. Those who can't face death make me wonder if they are able to truly face life.

    Life is fatal. One day, Mimi, you will be dust. What are you going to do between now and then (aside from irritating bloggers, of course)?

    Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

    04.01.08 - 12:44 PM
  • 287. Weazie said:

    I couldn't look away. I thought this was an honest and beautiful project. I work in a Seniors facility and have spent many hours bedside with residents as they are dying. Our lives are stories and I feel honored to be with people as their story ends. It amazes me how often they will wait until someone leaves the room to take their last breath. The story of the women who didn't speak to her ex-husband for 20 years, really had an impact on me. Forgive, Love, Live.

    Thanks Dooce!

    04.01.08 - 12:44 PM
  • 288. Geena S. said:

    I see an obvious peace in the way their eyes are closed, the way their mouths are still and unquivering, and the way their heads are bowed. And the before pictures display such quiet fury -- whether or not they'd accepted death -- they capture each person's swan song, which to me range from heavy metal to Debussy. Each picture, before or after, speaks to me like the heaviest, most urgent post-it note.

    I started a "new life, better life, new me, better me" journal this year. This will make an excellent starting point for today's entry. Thanks, dooce.

    04.01.08 - 12:44 PM
  • 289. Denise X said:

    I always said, "You are born, you live, you die, the end." It sounds so easy, right? However, it is not so easy once you view those fotos. I'm actually crying after looking at them, and I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I'm closer to the end of my life than I am to the beginning. And I've got so much left to do! Guess I better get moving on that tout de suite...

    04.01.08 - 12:45 PM
  • 290. Matt said:

    I thought the photos were beautiful and fascinating.

    I can also appreciate why you might want to disable comments on something so somber and so close to home for so many people. Sadly, internet discourse is hardly polite, and when people have the benefit of anonymity, they're apt to say things -- pathetic, hurtful things -- that they'd never to another person's face.

    Then again, I really valued some of your readers' comments. Comment #8 in particular (hoping the subjects would survive) was terrific -- ironic but kinda talismanic. We're told from the start that the subjects don't survive. But the same is true of life in general -- the final frame is never one of survival. Does that stop us from hoping?

    04.01.08 - 12:45 PM
  • 291. Tina said:

    I almost didn't look after the "nauseated" comment, but in the end I decided to be brave. I wasn't nauseated. I wasn't inpired. Some looked very close to the skeleton right beneath the surface. Others just looked peaceful. What was so scary and gross? Death is a part of life.

    04.01.08 - 12:45 PM
  • 292. Robin G. said:

    I found them sad and a little bit nauseating, as they were outside of my comfort zone, as good art should be. I also knew this would happen when I CLICKED ON A LINK SHOWING PICTURES OF DEAD PEOPLE. What the hell did Mimi *think* was going to happen?

    04.01.08 - 12:45 PM
  • 293. HeyJules said:

    That was a fascinating look at death. It certainly wasn't anything we haven't all seen before if we've been to even one funeral.

    04.01.08 - 12:46 PM
  • 294. EvilScienceChick said:

    Dear Mimi,

    If you don't like looking at pictures of dead people, do not click on a link that says "HERE ARE PICTURES OF DEAD PEOPLE!!!"

    christ, woman, please grow a brain.

    04.01.08 - 12:46 PM
  • 295. MichaelTLH said:

    I stared and stared at all the photos... very haunting, yes... but not nauseating. Mimi's just looking for a fight as a way to feel alive today, I'd guess.

    04.01.08 - 12:46 PM
  • 296. Annie said:

    I found the photos moving, but moving in a very, very visceral way...They were beautiful, raw and, most of all, humanizing.

    They rather reminding me of the photos Annie Leibowiz took of Susan Sontag after her death.

    04.01.08 - 12:46 PM
  • 297. Christina said:

    I'm sad everyone attacked Mimi. I really like your blog Heather but sometimes the whole "everyone jump on board to tell Heather how amazing she is and let's all attack the horrible people who disagree with her" routine gets boring. Mimi has her own perspective on the posting--and wished that there had been a place for comments/expression about it- perhaps she didn't say that in the nicest way- but she had a honest reaction to what she saw.
    And I respect Heather for responding to her challenge and opening up comments...

    04.01.08 - 12:47 PM
  • 298. Jesse said:

    I thought they were beautiful and moving - much more so than all of the so-called "beautiful people" images we see in Hollywood today. Their captions made me cry. Thank you for posting them, and I agree that it makes you want to go outside in the sun and just think for a while.

    As far as the poster, Mimi, perhaps she thought she could handle it and then realized that she couldn't upon seeing it? I had a friend who attended the funeral of another friend's mom (cancer) when we were in high school, and SHE thought she could handle it, but when it came down to it, she refused to go see the body because she realized that she couldn't handle it after all. Some people fear death, and some people fear the beauty in death - they can look at all of the disgusting images from atrocities we don't even WANT to imagine, and it won't bother them, but seeing that death CAN be beautiful and graceful can scare them. I'll admit the comment was rude (perhaps she didn't know you don't usually allow comments, though?), but people often speak before thinking online so as to express their reaction properly. Try not to take it TOO personally (especially with all of the supportive comments you've received!)
    Jes

    04.01.08 - 12:48 PM
  • 299. Becky said:

    I thought it was fascinating and eye opening. Though I lack the eloquence to put it into words, I am both moved and awed by these photographs.

    04.01.08 - 12:49 PM
  • 300. Jen said:

    It visually stunning and incredibly, incredibly moving.

    04.01.08 - 12:50 PM
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Heather talks about Valentine's Day on today's Momversation.

  • I know zero about sports, but my entire heart is screaming, "Go Saints! Go Saints!" I am a stereotypical woman. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, JON!
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