• http://www.kritterkrit.blogspot.com/ Kritter Krit

    Man, puppies. They’re so stinking cute when they’re little, but holy heck, they do things that make you wish you could fast-forward a couple of years.

    Definitely get another hat. It was a rockin’ look for you.

  • http://velvetlava.blogspot.com/ Ann

    Count yourself lucky. I knew a dog who ate its owners wallet, unbeknownst to its owner. Owner thought it stolen, canceled all credit cards, got new drivers license etcetera. A few days later, as owner was cleaning poo in the yard – low and behold – there was the wallet, INTACT. Folded, mangled – granted – I mean, imagine the shrinkage attempts by the intestines – nonetheless, intact. Credit cards, money – everything, intact.

    Ouch.

  • deb

    oh god yeah. Having to throw away endless pairs of underwear that no longer had a crotch… Items in your laundry basket will be next! not to mention bathroom trash at a certain time of the month. gross. Especially if you bring company home and thats the first thing you see all over the floor!

  • http://www.ellou.com Lauren

    I went to Greece when I was 19 on a girly holiday and thought factor 2 was too high. I might as well have covered myself in “you’re a dickhead, have some cooking oil” but where i’m a naturally moley (ha, love that word) person I’m not so stupid now. Well, I wouldn’t be so stupid if I actually had the chance, what with Englands tropical temperatures.

    Anyway, the moral of this story is you look good in a hat.

  • http://faboolosity.blogspot.com/ heidi

    nuthin’ wrong with a little fiber ;-)
    Seriously though, i hope it all came out ok!

  • Stacy

    Maybe Coco was acting out through the strange man with the patience of a saint? Instead of becoming irrate because the brim of your hat kept smacking him on the ear, he inserted bad vibes into your carry on luggage. LOL

    Sorry about the hat which you did look good in by the way. Bad Coco! Give a puppy a inch and they will ( without hesitation) take a foot or in your case, a hat.

  • Jeff

    HA! Oh, that’s rich! I remember when our American Eskimo ate carpet. I was pulling loops of carpet out of his ass for days.

    I needed a good laugh today.

  • http://luciachiara.blogspot.com Lucia

    That’s a shame because that hat looked FABULOUS on you!

  • http://partur.blogspot.com Andrea

    My, my… that bed looks EXACTLY like THOR’s bed. Not to mention our own. Reminds me of the time(s) our sweet little puppy brought it upon himself to eat holes clean through our comforter. This resulted in rouge down feathers floating about the house for a week and sticking to our walls, and being woken up in the middle of the night by the dog vomiting up white fluffballs all over the carpet, adding a whole new dimension of confusion to our 3:24 a.m. stupor.

    And, like Coco, for two days afterward the mystery meat coming out the other end resembled a deranged, molting laying hen from one of those industrial farms they show you on PETA to convince you to become a vegetarian.

    I am now a vegetarian.

  • http://www.princesseemma.com/ Emma

    That was a great story.
    I’m sorry for the loss of your hat, it did look great on you, but it was almost worth it for the story :-)

  • Heather

    Anyone with bone structure as fantastic as yours should wear hats whenever possible.

    Also, have you heard what the crazies are saying about Vitamin D? We’re supposed to get 15 minutes of sun every day WITHOUT SUNSCREEN. When is the last time you got 15 minutes of sun without sunscreen and didn’t immediately burn into flames? I say, screw Vitamin D. I don’t like blisters.

  • http://carolineinckle.wordpress.com/ Caroline Inckle

    That’s fab don’t you just love dogs.
    Our’s was like that at first, constantly on a search and destroy mission.
    They do calm down.
    Caroline
    X

  • http://spiritspeaks.blogspot.com sravana

    Awwww.
    I’m so sorry about your hat. :makes pouty face:
    As someone who has lost bras to her dog (who was a year and a half, well past puppyhood, I hate to tell you), I feel your pain.

    I loved those bras, only to find that they didn’t make that style any more. :o

    HOWEVER – I’m sure that Coco had a WHALE of a time. I know that Ms. B does when she’s being bad… ;)

  • http://www.laraslousylife.com Laradean

    That was the funniest thing that I have seen all day and probably will see all day and it’s only 8AM and I have laughed out loud for the first time in months. Please get me out of NY! And for those of you who think because your dog is 2 years old and won’t do that nonsense, Chloe is 4 and you can see from this pic http://laraslousylife.com/?p=29 that her intake of roughage very, very high. Sorry Heather! But Coco had a point.

  • Amyd

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  • Kate

    You didn’t bring Coco “stuff”..
    there in lies the problem. ha ha ha ha ha!

    and Damn! cuz I loved that hat!

  • http://www.threeseven.ca Shannon

    Oh my god. That’s totally poetic.

  • http://causeimthamommathatswhy.wordpress.com/ CauseImThaMommaThatsWhy

    Ahhh Dooce.. I so didnt see that one coming. Aces!

  • Amy

    Oh sad times! I have a poop book that talks about “straw poopie.” (AKA The Chinese Star, The Dorito, The Glass Shard, you get the idea) You know, the kind that seems to come out and poke you like straw does when you sit on a haybale. Hopefully, Coco will learn her lesson through the suffering of passing “straw poopie.”

  • Anonymous

    At least I hope you won’t have three years of puppy hell, like we did with our lab. Yuck. Great dog now, but what a pain in the ass.

  • http://CameraArtist.com/ darr

    No one can say it like you Heather! Good luck with future hats and maybe an old shoe for the puppy.

  • http://perfectlyshelly.blogspot.com Shelly

    Oh…..NO WAY……..I was happily reading about tequila..and hats in my 7am stupor–and the HAT got shredded? Your AWESOME margarita WOO HOO, plane passenger pisser offer, sun blocking HAT?

    She needs to be made to sit in the corner, with NO barking and NO herding, with a COCO hat on for 15 minutes! Then eat her totally awesome doggie hat IN FRONT OF HER. Don’t share, either.

  • http://www.elygerbin.blogspot.com Ely

    I had this awesome hat i wore everyday for about 3 years. Not kidding. It was brown when i got it and then eventually faded to tan from all the sun. This hat was loved by me(especially) as well as my family and my current girlfriend at the time.

    So this one time that particular girl and i were snuggling on the couch, watching a movie, and i didn’t notice that my dog went quiet all of a sudden.

    Story ends that i looked up to see what happened and found that the only thing that was left of my hat was a small piece of the brim.

    RIP straw hat…and my hat…and any hats to come!

  • FK

    RIP, fabulous hat.

    xox

  • http://scargosun.blogspot.com/ Scargosun

    I was reading this and thinking to myself how silly you were for not thinking you were a hat person because you looked great in it.

    I really think this beats my g-dog chewing up the remote.

    RIP
    Heather’s Hat. :(

  • sarah

    she ate your hat! it was a beautiful hat, looked very nice on you… oh man that dog kills me.

  • Sara

    Love the story. You looked fabulous in the hat. You should buy a new one, but store it up high!

  • http://yahoo.com Laura

    Get that dog a KONG and fill it with peanutbutter and/or treats this way she will be busy cheing on playing with the KONG and not eating over-sized straw hats.

  • http://www.thefredericksblog.com Jim Brodhead

    Wow, so what you are saying is that Coco eating that hat is likely to be kind of like us eating corn.

    You looked good in the hat, like Mata-effing-Hari trying to steal war secrets.

    The best SPF to use is made by Sherwin-Williams and come in a whole spectrum of lovely colors. A Wagner Power Sprayer works well with the latex but a brush is probably better if you go with the oil base.

  • http://getittogetherrightonrighton.blogspot.com FoxyBrown

    Because I have a 15 month old dog, I knew immediately where this was going! Like others, I’ve lost cell phones, flip flops, shoes, the ignitor knob off of my grill, etc. I will tell you that after a year, we saw a HUGE difference. And now? He has moments of greatness. He still does things every once in a while that drive us crazy, but for the most part, he is really awesome. Considering the fact that we got him when I was about 6 weeks pregnant, raising him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I honestly wondered at times if my marriage would survive it. I have to say that it made having a baby seem almost easy!
    I love, love, love your blog – you could write about how you clipped your toenails and it would be entertaining. Thank you for what you do!

  • Heather

    My friend’s dog did the same thing with her Crocs. I thought Crocs were indestructible. Guess not. Speaking of Crocs…I saw an ad in Rolling Stone…Two words: Crocs Heels.
    http://shop.crocs.com/pc-1174-4-cyprus.aspx?reqid=1174&reqProdTypeId=41p&subsectionname=footwear&section=products

  • http://www.thesorority.blogspot.com Diane

    I just snorted at my desk at this post! We have a 10 1/2 month old German Shorthaired Pointer who is just now sleeping through the night and no longer attempting to destroy everything that makes its way into our house. I can so relate to this post and knowing that when you have a puppy, not seeing them, hearing them or knowing their exact whereabouts is tantamount to having a grease fire in the kitchen.

    Awesome post!

  • http://bbjudyohyeah.blogspot.com/ kate

    I love my cats.

    The hat was fab, though. You can totally rock it like Joan Collins in a turban, girl!

  • Rebecca

    I always enjoy your entries, but this one was so familiar and hilarious, I had to snort back my laughter because I’m in my cubicle, supposedly working. My adopted min pin puppy destroyed our carpet, and literally the day after I had it replaced, I came home from work and found several large holes chewed all the way to the sub-floor, holes larger than the puppy himself. I can so relate.

  • http://jennajacks.vox.com Jenna

    oh goodness, how hilarious is that?! BUT what a bummer too because i thought you looked smashing in that hat! lol.

  • http://www.willfull.blogspot.com Kate

    Clearly the universe does not want you to wear hats. Which is a shame because it was quite fetching.

  • sara

    HER ATE YOUR HAT!

  • Valerie

    Hahahaha, that was hilarious!!! I feel your pain…my mini schnauzer is FOUR and still eats anything she can get her paws on…especially bugs that enter my apartment (although I guess that could be considered a useful trait!). It’s a good thing she’s so adorable :-)

    The hat looked fabulous on you, by the way. :-)

  • http://www.realityfish.com Robin G.

    That was… tragically predictable.

    I recommend forcefeeding the dog some castor oil. It’s also very effective on cats who eat an entire package of Christmas tree tinsel. Because what everyone needs during their holiday season is a Persian walking around with eight inches of sparkly ribbon trailing from her butt.

  • http://www.anneschitchat.blogspot.com Anne

    Oh no! My puppy Judy eats dishtowels and curtains! It all comes out eventually…. :)

  • http://cherepafford.com/ chere

    ohhhhhhh sooooooo sad.
    you looked so pretty.
    puppies seem to know what we love most.
    mine?…..

    favorite cowboy boots
    favorite hat
    new leather bag
    drip system
    nothing my husband owns

  • LeighB in ATL

    If you want, I could tell you a story about a rabbit named Pumpkin who ate/shredded a whole human-sized velux blanket.

  • Anonymous

    I loved that hat.

  • Anonymous

    A fashion critic?

  • Kat Maile

    my mouth literally dropped open at the site of that picture. sad, sad day.

  • http://www.thejadednyer.net The Jaded NYer

    OH NO! Not your hat!! lol… that puppy sure is a handful!

  • Heather Outside Boston

    Oh, I hope this is legible, ’cause I’m still laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes. I was so thrilled that you were embracing the hat — it looked fabulous on you, and you’re welcome to join my no-frilly-sleeves-but-rock-the-hats club, then the whole thing went so squirrly and sideways. I just can’t stop snickering, and my boss thinks I’m working on her presentation. Good thing Coco is cute and you can laugh at her (and you know the hat tasted like Mom’s sweat — terrific). Thank you so much for sharing.

  • http://www.thelandofvariablegravity.blogspot.com Optimist

    I wonder if you said any bad adult words when you found that hat?

    Hmmm?

  • http://andria-and-co.com Andria and Co.

    omg…that was hilarious, heather!

  • http://www.thebeckybug.com becky

    I wish you would stop taking pictures from inside my house and posting them on the INTERNET

    (and I’m glad to see that I’m not the only person that read the hammer sentence and thought it said HAMSTER. thinking: HAMSTERS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY HITTING ME IN THE FACE! ah!)