I don't know, that's exactly how I look after a trip to the bidet.

I wanna loo, too. I think.

Looks like a pretty orgasmic bidet.

so much better than the 5 dollar foot long song.

Yeah, whatever. You're not really anal, you know, unless you have a bidet. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I want one of those!

Oh, thanks oodles. Now I want to swan around the apartment wiggling my hips and shaking my fingers all jitterbug style...to a song from a Japanese bidet commercial. No, my life wasn't NEARLY surreal enough, THANKS. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

Did you know that one of the most popular games in Japan is to try to stick your finger in somebody's butt?

But can you imagine the mess of water to clean up on the bathroom floor every time your LooLoo shoots you in the ass? I'm not sure it's worth it... :P

I think I would be singing my own spontaneous song if I sat on a bidet. Maybe it would coax some of those high notes out of me.

@Brandy in Canada and Lissa: It's a Korean commercial.

I would die if a commercial like this popped up on my television set. If only...

I have no words.

That reminds me of the time that I visited Japan and I couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet. It was so high tech, I ended up pushing the bidet button and I couldn't turn it off. The family that I was staying with laughed at me for days.

How sad that you were right -- that may have been the best 35 seconds of my life...

Think how much toilet paper is saved. That's the real reason they're smiling!

I miss the Sears Catalog days. Now those were exciting.

It would eliminate the need for toilet paper. Gives "going green" a whole new meaning. If I had one of those I'd be going to the bathroom all the time. Sometimes twice. in. a. row.

I'd be sold too, except I'd be worried about hitting my head on the ceiling whenever I used it.

My husband wants one of these so bad! When he describes how it works he gets really excited about it.

Clearly I am missing the best part of life by not owning a Loo-Loo. Maybe I would have a 24-seconds face, too.

Awesome video, Dooce.

I sell the shit out of those things! (pun intended) Seriously, I do. I own a high end plumbing showroom and people LOVE their bidet seats. I LOVE mine too! And yes, it cleans the wand before and after each use with hot water so it's sanitary between users. TOTO makes them and they call them "washlets"

My three-year old daughter's response after watching it...

"Mommy, are those people happy...or sad? Or just weird?"

I told her they were full of LOO! Amazingly enough, she nodded, like that cleared everything up.

That is just weird, but if I can get the same reaction, I'm in for sure.

NOW YOU DID IT!! All YOU had to do was mention a song in the head and it put the "HIPPO FOR CHRISTMAS" right back in MY head..

You're right! That face is awesome! Is it joy? Is it pleasure? Is it Pee Wee Hermann?

You may have seen this already, but I was so inspired to send it to you. http://youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
Enjoy.

Sus.

Someone stated that the bidet would eliminate the need for toilet paper. Save on paper? Really? I've never actually seen one, but unless it has one of those built-in air dryers like in a public restroom, you're really going to want to wipe your dripping wet ass before you leave. Am I wrong?

OK, even without sound (stupid work computer w/out speakers) that was funny.

Holy crap ... that is hysterical

Reminds me of this that I used in Japan http://www.flickr.com/photos/69157754@N00/2244131556/ and no, I did not wash my buttocks ...

Clearly I am missing out on the finer things in life. I'm all about being clean and sanitary but I just don't know if I would enjoy a LooLoo THAT much!

I WANTS ME ONE OF THEM

seriously. i could use a bidet orgasm right about now.

<3, enjolie

Wow, loo loo, that is definitely my word for the day, and it is so much cooler than bidet...How boring is that! But it can take on so many other meanings. Thanks again for sharing.

The refreshing answer to my prayers (and itch)!

I didn't get a chance to say earlier...
I cracked up at the picture of Chuck with the coral on his head.... he totally looks like the dog in the Grinch that Stole Christmas! With the antler tied to his head!!
I love it!

Thank you, Heather, for getting the damned hippo song out of my mind after MONTHS. Now I'm singing a freakin' song about bidets! BLOODY HELL! Though I must admit that I'd like a Loo-Loo, too. First off, it sounds like something straight out of Dr. Seuss. And, anything that puts that kind of expression on someone's face is a must-have!

The world would be a better place if everyone on the planet was required to own one.

참 이상해요.

This is my first visit to your blog, but I find it interesting and in places amusing. I can definitely relate to your dog's antics, as I have a Pomeranian who does things we would never have the foresight to prevent.

those toilets are scary! i tried to use one at a restaurant in Seoul, Korea (the commercial is Korean, btw). had never seen one before. my friend in the next stall had the same problem. we couldn't figure out how to flush, both pressed the wrong button, and -- woooooosh!

oops. ^O^

i tried to convince my husband we should install a bidet in our bathroom when we redo it this summer, but he said i was crazy. perhaps this video will change his mind :)

If only I could see it. Still on dial up out here at Rancho Relaxo. I have tried one of those fancy Japanese seats though and found the rear end cleaning to be highly pleasurable. Plus, you can't beat the pre-warmed seat. I wonder if I could install one in an outhouse?

Oh my ever-loving GOD! I do not EVEN want to know what was going on in that guy's nether regions! Hil-freakin'-arious!

i can't see the video (yet) because of the computer i'm currently on, but i will as soon as i get to a different computer.

however, i would like to input my thoughts about bidets: bidets freak me out. i like dry wiping--i'm an expert at it, and i feel more in control of the aim. although, each time i've been in a hotel that has bidets in the bathrooms, i feel kind of special. sort of swank. like i'm in on a secret no one else knows about. sort of.

.....i do hear that in japan they have courtesy buttons in all the public restrooms. if you're making "noises," (YOU know what i'm talking about) you press this button. then the only thing other people in the bathroom hear is a loud buzzing sound...that way, everyone around you is blissfully unaware you are not in control of your ass.

the japanese are brilliant like that. BRILLIANT.

I think my vagina needs this bidet.

How can the previous commentor bring up pizza at a time like this? No dinner humor at the potty!

The first thought I had was that this was really twisted then it dawned on me that this was either a political statement on "water boarding" or a new kind of aversion therapy to use on new puppies when they take a dump in "no dump land".

My brother actually has one of these in his home in Seattle. He loves it! I tried it and thought it was weird. I jumped up when the water first hit my "gennies". Plus, it took way to long to blow everything dry. I'm sticking w/good ole fashioned T.P.

P.S. Here in USA, it's called the Washlet (by Toto). They are about $1000!!!

Bidets freak me out too, the mere possibility of pushing the wrong button and having everything go the wrong direction terrifies me.

In response to Amy (#87), if you are in a public wash room 'making noises', and you push your courtesy button to mask the sound your ass is making wouldn't every one else in the washroom know exactly what you're up to in there?

I mean, if you've all got a button, you are going to know exaxtly what's going on in there, and probably who's making the noise too. Doesn't seem to save you much embarassment, imho.

People really need to get over the fact that each and every one of us makes 'bathroom' noises when we use the bathroom. It's totally natural.

That video makes me all the more convicted that bidets are the best thing ever. (It makes sense in my germ-obsessed mind that cleansing the area is far superior to rubbing dry paper on it.) I am totally getting one when I have my own house!

Hey, I found your blog through Sarah Nielson - you're hilarious.

Having lived in Korea and Japan, I have to say one thing I miss is the bathroom technology. The toilets that automatically open when you walk into the room (and close when you leave); the heated seats; the bidets; the two flush volumes (small and big); the temperature controlled baths and digital shower temperature controls... One of the biggest surprises was a seat that when you sit down, it adds water to the bowl because it knows what's coming....

Great commercial!

Don't hate me but "Dooce for douche" just popped into my head like some bizarre campaign slogan!! LMAO!!

Okay, that was probably the funniest thing I've seen all day.

You'd never see a commercial like that in the United States. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.

Gotta love the soundrack!

I should get one for my stepmother. She could use a little Loo Loo in her life.

I've watched this and plan to watch it until I break YouTube. I just love the clean splurts of water and the swing music - especially the pseudo-American grunty voice in the background. So appropriate.

Personally I prefer the "Bumper Dumper". No shit - look it up.

Hey AK (comment #107):

Can't help you on the potty technology, sorry - but as far as the digital shower temperature controls, we currently have that in our house (we're in upstate New York). We installed an Endless Hot Water System, which is a hot water system that heats water on demand. So, instead of a big water tank that you have to keep warm for when you want hot water, you have a little box mounted on the wall that heats the water as you need it. It takes about the same amount of time for water to heat up as with the conventional system, and you save money by not having to keep a big 100 gallon (?) tank of water hot. Plus, you get a control panel that lets you set the temperature of the water digitally. It's great - you just set the temp and turn the shower all the way to hot, and it's the same temperature every time. Anyway, just thought you'd like to know!

Is that guy single?? Mommy likey...

As I was watching that I wondered, "How does Dooce FIND this stuff?"

My next thought was, "I don't think I want to know."
.

Here's a link to the Washlet by Toto. Kinda funny commercial if you ask me...

http://www.washlet.com/

This totally just made my day complete! I had the crappiest day... and then I logged on to Dooce and I saw this, and I burst out laughing! This is amazing!!
I totally just used two exclamation points. I apologize.
I want one of those bidets now. I want to make faces like that and bounce around like that! I want funky music to follow me around all the time just for the purpose of making me dance!
Okay, I'll stop now. We all want that.

Oh Lord. It's like my daughter at the pool. They have these gurglers that spit water straight up. She always positions her 2 year old booty right over the stream and just hangs out and smiles.

Wondering if you ever got some vintage button hair slides I sent to Leta. Lost amongst the big old piles of Dooce fan mail I'm thinking.

But if you see your mailman wearing a bobby pin with an old realistic duck button on it - he's totally skimming off the top of your mail.

I just have to say about today's Chuck photo: he looks like such a little deer--seriously, like a doe--all peaceful and serene. And then, if you look carefully, you can see Coco's teeth baring down into his neck. Poor, poor Chuck.

Why does everyone immediately believe silly commercials featuring Asians to be Japanese? We have a similar product in Tokyo, but this is Korean.

Dude, that entire video is beyond words. Also, I would be so much more willing to use public restrooms here in the states if they had heated seats.

Last year, while visiting Times Sq. In NYC, there was a tent where they were demonstrating these toilets. They interviewed my husband for aisian tv. It really was a very interesting concept...first you poo, then press a button and your butt gets washed. Press another button and warm air dries off your butt. Go green up your ass...

gotta love that ending... LOOLOO! it's so orgasmic that even saying the word makes him faint

Our company actually has a couple of these (same type of product, different maker). If they weren't $900+, I would have one on every toilet in my house! Everyone should know the glory of a heated toilet seat!

Best part of travelling to Europe and Sth America? The bidets. For all their lack of other toilet cleanliness (the loo paper goes where? In a BUCKET???) the bidet makes up for it.
Dad used to tell us they were for cleaning your feet when you came in from the beach. Then he would snicker and watch us splashing away. Is that weird?

i so totally want one of these. someday when i save my sheckels - i'll promise DH his big-screen TV if i can only have a heated toilet seat to wash my ass after i aggravate my hemis... after all, it's his monster children that gave them to me!

OH YEAH...gotta get me a Loo Loo.

Yes. I love your damn blog.

OMGs that is one of the funniest things I think I have seen in a long long time. I can't wait to show hubby!

LMAO! (And hopefully someday, Loo-Looing my ass off.)

Wow, this might be better than anti-psychotic drugs! I might be able to be normal again if I had one of these or a washlet. Throw away those anti-depressants and get a looloo or washlet!!! I NEED ONE.

This really does get funnier each time you watch it. I know, because over the course of the day, I must have watched it at least 15 times.

It is a Korean commercial. Having used something similiar to a Loo Loo I will tell you the faces are true. They have warm water to wash you as well as warm air to dry you.

Totally awesome.

The commercials are a safety measure, as one must be primed before using such a toilet. The buttons are, of course, not in English and if you are like my visiting brother, completely unfamiliar with such Asian toilets and curious as to what the funny buttons are, you will press and be greeted by an extremely unpleasant surprise.

On another note, I happen to live in Japan and I am constantly amazed at how a country can have, sometimes even in the same bathroom, a toilet like the Loo Loo and in the next stall over, a filthy squatter. Why?

is it bad that as soon as i saw the korean writing i KNEW it would be worth my time to click play? because that's exactly what i did.

i love my korean brethren.

A song stuck in your head is called an earworm. Just thought I'd stop by and share.

Hugs
Cait

Gotta love a song with toilets, haha.

i missed out on the action, the video is no longer available. got anything else for me that could be the most fantastic 35 seconds of my life? hee.

What I never really got about bidets is that, fair enough they clean your bum, but then you're just left with a wet bum. You still have to wipe it dry anyways.

I dunno. I am just an ignorant Aussie. We don't have bidets here. Most of the time we don't even worry about using toilet paper, the smell keeps the flies away from our face.

what in the world? hahaha...that's crazy. and we thought the "herbal essence" commercials were risque!

That is the same exact face I make right after I take a dump too, weird.

OK... so where can I get one because that IS exactly what's missing from my life! Who needs a man when this fabulous bidet is on the market??

Holy smeeps, Japanese pop culture never gets old. That was fawesome.

They look tickled, for sure. I was giggling by the end (come to think of it, they were giggling by the end, too, weren't they?).

for someone who makes a living off blogging, you don't update very much..
just saying

Well, I'm kind of upset because Lou-Lou is my pet Parisian goldfish's name and I don't think she'd be very happy with the bidet branding. All that flushing is scary to a goldfish.

But bidets are still a happening thing in Paris -- curbside:

http://pollyvousfrancais.blogspot.com/2008/03/bye-bye-bidet.html

I read some other blogs and you are the only one who has something new almost everyday. That must be very difficult to do. I have to give you a lot of credit.

my life is complete, that is slap full of awesome-ness.

There was some talk they might add a George Foreman grill to one of these.

Aren't we way overdue for a Leta post.. That's the only reason I started reading this blog

So you had a bidet...

um....they're REALLY excited about that toilet! When are we getting the American version?

I was just telling my husband yesterday that we need a bidet. He couldn't grasp the beauty of it. Maybe this will help.