• Anonymous

    oh yeah (9th commenter)? my human test words are “CAUTION”, and “AND”!

  • Janie

    Thank you so much for the laugh!! I really adore you guys. And I just want to eat Leta up she is so adorable! When I sawl all her pictures this spring, I could not believe our little baby had grown into such a gorgeous girl.

  • Kellyr2

    Well, we’re in totally different regions, but my kids stick L’s at the ends of words where they don’t belong as well. Saw is one of them.

  • http://serenitynow006.blogspot.com/ JenW

    Ah yes, the Polly Pockets. My daughter LOVED them and I absolutely hated them because when she wanted to play with them that meant that I was too (whether I wanted to or not). Those stretchy plastic clothes and accessories are hell to try and put on those tiny dolls.

    And the Sawl thing… adorable. My daughter used to always call girls “grills”.

  • Anonymous

    Wait. Oh horse taters. I ‘been thinkin’ it
    was “sawl” for nearly 44 years, and now
    Jon is tellin’ me it’s not “sawl”?!?

    And I have another question. Does her
    “sawl” rhyme with “owl” or no? This
    gets so gawdawfully complicated!!!

    Then again, I’m from Kentucky, the
    “education state”. *smirk*

  • http://www.quinnep.com/theblog quinnep

    i’m from the midwest. this past week, my boyfriend, also from the midwest decided to inform me that i “talk funny.”

    “Say ‘cool’”, he said.
    “HA! You say it so funny! It’s cute!”
    “I didn’t say it weird! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!”
    “You say COOOO-EL.”
    “NO I DON’T. Cooo-el. Shit.”

    That being said, I say that child should be screaming “sawl” from the rooftops and if I sawl her up there, I’d cheer for her and tell her just how coo-el I think she is.

    Good luck with the shoe.

  • http://dirtyshankcardchallenges.blogspot.com/ jailbird

    Passive agressive retaliation is so fun! Loved your last post about Leta –

  • Deanne

    My niece was also hooked on Polly Pockets. The missing pieces were a constant pain so I bought her a tackle box for her birthday. She loved it! It was easy to carry and the tiny compartments were perfect for sorting out all the different accessories. She even had room in the bottom for her dolls.

  • jennk

    to Rebellious Arab Girl:

    My sister never grew out of it. She’s 35 and still says “Brookland” (instead of Brooklyn) and “woln’t” (instead of won’t). All the correcting in the world didn’t do anything–I’m pretty sure she does it just to spite her proud northern family.

  • http://stepofaith.blogspot.com Nicole

    Coming out of lurking to just say wow, I am no longer married to the ONLY man who argues like a child, and with a child, and makes me want to do something to his clothing (like throw it on the lawn). I never have done anything to his clothes though because a) he would do it back to me in a heartbeat and b) he would just go buy new clothes to spite me and make ME pick them up off the lawn. I kid you not, the man went to Wal-Mart and bought new underwear and socks when he ran out rather than running the washer/dryer. Oh don’t let me say one more word or this will be a day long rant.

    Girl, I feel your pain. (All the way down to the English degree!!!)

  • Kelli

    If there’s one thing I love (and I’ve raised 4 boys) is “kid speak”. I get the biggest kick out of how they interpret words and am always saddened a bit when they finally learn the correct way to say it. One of our favorites for years was “hampakes” for pancakes. Jon should just enjoy it!

    Now, if Leta’s an adult and says “I seen it” then I have problems. Nothing like an adult using improper terms to grate my nerves.

  • Kelly

    Thank God for Dooce

  • Kim

    I have to say that I completely side with Jon on this one! Being an English major does not make you a better pronouncer or enunciator, grammarian or copy editor, or even orator or writer … it merely means that you *ostensibly* know how to read and analyze a work of literature. And I say that as a fellow English major, and wife of someone with differing regional pronunciations :-)

  • Laura June

    You know, your blog and nicotine are pretty much the only things that get me out of bed in the morning. Rock on.

  • Eric

    Forget the freezer, “I SAWL Jon’s crocs in the trash!”

  • Laura June

    ps l-o-v-e the new masthead.

  • http:///www.heathersgarden.typepad.com Heather’s Garden

    I’m sorry, Heather, but I’m with Jon on this one. Unless Leta’s going to be living in the south, she’ll probably do much better in this country speaking without your–shall we say creative?–versions of words. Like how all people with a proper English accent (not Cockney) automatically sound smarter no matter how idiotic what they’re saying may actually be.

  • http://www.libelletage.blogspot.com Lisa

    Promise not to tell my kids? I just throw the shoes away when I find them on the floor. I hate those polly pocket shoes.

  • http://myfamilygossip.blogspot.com/ Crystal D

    My 5 year old corrected my pronunciation of CRAYON yesterday. I just may market my own brand of Crowns, and they will be prettier than stupid ol” CRAYONS. So there.

  • http://web.mac.com/cai_hale/BartolomeBanner/Blog_365/Blog_365.html Christina

    Polly Pockets and Play-doh —> gifts you give to children when you want to really torture their parents. Like stabbing them and twisting the knife. Well, actually the twisting is when you get the little Polly Pockets accessories that no way in hell can go on her body and in the same bag are the “tools” for Play-doh that only gets the Play-doh stuck in them and then hardens and then can be found for years throughout your house.

  • http://www.smallestphoto.com Kirk

    Jon..keep the dream alive. Were it not for us grumpy fathers the world would most certainly end.

  • http://marianneinparis.blogspot.com/ Marianne

    It’s good to correct her – my parents let me say “helicockter” till I was 14 because they thought it was sweet. High-school was tough.

  • Kim

    I’m not commenter #44, I’m another Kim, but I’m with Jon on the hair tearing and the hatred of bad pronunciation. Nip it in the bud now before it becomes a habit!!

  • http://www.papatv.com/ brian papa

    Aww…hilarious…I have a pretty good combo myself…My fiance is Brazilian and she pronounces “towel” like “tower” and “what is it?” like “What it is?” which is great because we have a japanese homestay and I’ve seen his eyebrows raise up with big ??? on more than one occasion…
    Awesome post and freezer finish!

  • Debbie in Memphis

    All those tiny doll pieces should just be painted on the dolls. It would make Mommy and Daddy’s job so much easier…I’m tired of digging those out of the vacuum cleaner cup. I love the underwear in the freezer thing…now I know how to get my hubby’s attention ;-) My human test words…debentures and of

  • http://www.peglegstarfish.com Julie in Houston

    I like to use the DIE DIE DIE tone with my dog too. I used to have a polly pocket years ago. Thankfully her shoes were permanently glued to her feet. At least that crap is small enough to not be a choking hazard. Leta could probably down a whole Polly town and not choke to death. :)

  • CarolM

    I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!! The ongoing pronunciation argument at our house revolves around “Don” – male name, “Dawn” – female name, and “dawn” – when the sun comes up. THEY DON’T ALL SOUND THE SAME!!! Unless of course you are my husband and daughter – ARGH!!!! I completely understand AWWWWW, AWWWWWW, AWWWWW!!!!!

  • Dogmom

    Re: the picture “Blurbodoocery” from today — When I saw just the eye and before I clicked on it to see the whole picture, I thought to myself, oh, good, another picture of Leta. Well, I wasn’t disappointed that it wasn’t because it’s a loverly pic of the two of you… and Jon’s eye is identical, in my view, to his daughter’s!

  • Angie

    Well.. my daughter used to say all kinds of words wrong. And I loved it. What irritated me is when the in-laws would try to correct her. Now she is almost 9 and she says them just fine. Now my son who is 6 has one thing he always says wrong. I haven’t figured out why….but he insists that the incredible hulk is really muh-hunk. What kind of birthday do you want? MuhHUNK! I want a MUHHUNK toy, I want to go see the new muh hunk movie! ETC. I should record him saying it so when he is older I can play it for his girl friends. LOL.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  • lustingwanderluster.blogspot.com

    My 12-yr-old is way done with Polly Pocket and we have every set imaginable. Do you want them? Email me. They are yours.

  • http://watdawat.com Chris Austria

    Ahhhhh Jon, whatever happened to picking your battles? If I correct every single grammar mistake that my children say, I would probably loose all my hair.

    Oh, Jon you will think about this moment tonight. In bed.

  • http://kristanhoffman.com Kristan

    In my day, Polly Pocket’s shoes were attached to her body. Because seriously, WHO NEEDS TO CHANGE SHOES THAT TINY? It’s not like they wear out!

    Also, no one will blame you for putting his underwear in the freezer. You could probably get away with throwing the clogs in there too…

  • http://eramblings.net Heidi

    Glue the shoes on the Polly Pocket’s feet and preferably when Leta is not around, then you have no explaining to do. Tell Jon that speaking with an accent is considered sexy, not annoying.

  • sbk

    Did you check Coco’s, uh, leavings?

  • Kandice

    I found Leta’s Polly Pockets shoe in the ashtray (read receptacle for spare change) in my car. I really have no idea how it got there.

  • http://missdisgrace.blogspot.com Miss Grace

    If it’s hot out, underpants in the freezer can be quite refreshing.

  • http://www.rockandrollmama.com Lindsay

    Here in Maryland, it’s “WAH-ter” vs. “Wudder”. Some of my parents most memorable “discussions” stemmed from her Jersey girl insistence on “Wudder”. It still makes me happy when people say it that way. Tell Jon if he doesn’t quit it, Leta will say “Sawl” till she’s 92 just to irk her Daddy. Cause that’s what girls do.:)

  • http://verygeorge.com GEORGE!

    Did you soak them in water first?

  • Liz

    My kids can curse in context too. It might have been one of my proudest parenting moments.

    Poor Jon will be begging Leta to tell him if she sawl his underwear lately.

  • http://craybickford.blogspot.com EricaB

    Underwear in the freezer! How passive aggressive of you – I LOVE IT!

    My 6 year old son is autistic and has an unimaginable ability to use the English language like no other 6 year old child can.

    Last summer we had to stop walking through town because whenever he got upset with me he would scream “YOU FUC#ER” – VERY loudly. People would stop, jaws dropped, completely and utterly shocked that a child would speak that way to his mother and that she would completely ignore it.

    How he ever learned to use that word, in that context is beyond me.

    Children never cease to amaze me.

  • http://www.Halushki.com Jozet at Halushki

    When he asks where his panties are, tell him you SAWL them in the freezer.

  • http://www.thecamille.blogspot.com/ Camille

    Dooce, let me start by saying I have the love for you, your blog, and all that is DOOCE.

    I do believe, however, that the toy you and your readers are referring to are ‘Fashion Polly’(A sort of Polly Pocket spin-off). There was many a sad Easter or Christmas at my house when ol’ Santa or Mr. Bunny would surprise my sister with Polly Pocket only to find out that the dressable Polly’s are of another species entirely.

    My sister once stuck a tiny Polly shoe up her tiny nostril. Would have made a good blog, I’m sure.

    Mattel has had some recalls lately. My office is located near their corporate… There is apparently lead in everything that is fun for kids. Just a heads up ~ Polly’s were affected as well. Well, we all played with these toys growing up, and we turned out alright…

    Take care, Heather!

  • http://little-but-loud.blogspot.com Shellie

    It is dangerous to raise a child in Utah. So maybe they won’t get shot on the way to school, but they will say mell instead of mail and sawl instead of saw and they will sluff and go wading in a crick and ever so much more.

  • http://onepingonly.blogspot.com Maura

    I have to say, I am also with Jon on this one. How do all these people think that their kids “grow out of it” if not by being corrected when the situation arises?

    Of course, I also take note that my human visitor test below says “Mr nitpicking” and I have to wonder if the universe is saying, “Jon, please retrieve your undies and keep quiet.”

  • http://www.xoxogracey.com Gracey

    LOL! It’s so funny I almost choked on my coco pops!
    But it’s sweet too. Awwwwww. :D

  • Anne Cunningham

    What color is that shoe she is looking for? I raised three daughters, the last one is 15. Two are grown and gone. We moved out of our big house years ago and have downsized many times since then, and I swear I still come across Polly Pocket shoes and accessories!

    There is probably a Polly Pocket replacement website, so you should ask them if they “sawl” any of her shoes on their inventory list.

    Or maybe there’s a children’s toy black market where there’s another little girl who will trade just the right Polly Pocket shoe for a the second wine glass she needs for her Barbie kitchenette.

    Too funny. … and your prior post yesterday, about Leta’s launch into four-dom was your best yet.

  • deb

    We had clambered up the cliff from the beach one afternoon when my daughter was 3yrs old and she noticed she had lost a barbie shoe. All hell broke loose and nothing would do except my husband clambered back down the cliff to search(!) the beach for this miniscule shoe! I will never forget his triumphant face as he appeared with it 20minutes later! Stuff of legends!

  • http://smartinibar.blogspot.com penelope

    So crayon is “crown?” Because just today, the dental hygienist was talking to me about the “crayons” on my teeth, and I was totally confused. I nodded and smiled and then looked like a total jackhole when she said, “Did you get them done here?” Scrambling ensued while I to figure out what she could possibly mean by crayons in my mouth. Crowns. Duh!

  • http://www.liveandletdi.com Di

    One day, a long time from now, you will be having a civilized dinner at a real restaurant with Leta and she will point out that the sign for the restaurant, Daniel’s, lacks the possessive apostrophe. At that moment, you will know that you have won the English language category of the parenting game. This happened to me last night with my 14-year old daughter. I am still glowing.

  • Mariam

    I ran this one by my linguist husband and here’s what he had to say regarding Leta’s use of “sawl”:

    The verb [see] is an irregular verb in its past tense form [saw] and its perfective participle form [have seen]. Children learn irregular verb forms around the age of
    four or five. Correcting them will not help, this is something they just learn. What has happened here is that Leta has tried to regularize the verb with the productive past tense morpheme [-ed]. This would give us either [seed] or if she is currently learning the irregular paradigm we sometimes hear [sawed]. This is what Leta is trying to do (produce [sawed]) but she hasn’t closed off the airflow in her mouth enough to do this. So there are two production errors here: the first is with morphology (the [-ed] ending) and the second is in trying to pronounce the
    [d] in this ending. Her tongue is moving from making an [w] sound (a bilabial glide) to trying to make a [d] (a alveolar voiced stop) but hrt mouth didn’t
    constrict the airflow enough and she produced a [l] (an alveolar liquid). Not to worry, these things correct themselves.


    BTW, he fully supports you on “crayon.”