• http://momandmoney.blogspot.com Nicole

    Heather, you never fail to make me laugh. Thank you.

  • c3

    @ comment number 239:

    “But EVERY issue has its winners along with its losers.”
    With $145/barrel oil, how many winners are there exactly? I’m left pretty speechless by that statement. I think that the percentage of people who could be called “winners” in this current situation is pretty small.

    I won’t argue over any mother’s love for their child, or compare.

  • Anonymous

    I think any effort to do better for the planet is great but I think its important that we all know the truth…



  • Sunny

    The lily pad picture is one of the loveliest I have seen posted in (my) two years. It’s also the first I have forwarded to my photographer father. Thanks.

  • Angela in Cali

    I think your husband stole my car! I have a cute little honda with a huge stereo. I’m embarrassed to let the bag boy carry out my groceries because my sub takes up most of my trunk! Have no fear, crank up the bass and put all the utah boys to shame with their inferior stereos!! ;o) and look at the bright side, it will only cost $60 to fill up the tank!

  • http://www.emailgoals.com Gaol Setting

    I think it’s time to switch to Electric Cars !

  • http://juiceboxmom.blogspot.com/ juiceboxmom

    Ha! Hilarious!! Your story rings true for me; I just switched in May from my X-terra to my husbands 2002 (who knew they even made them in 2002) Toyota Prius. I love it, but squeezing 1/2 a soccer team in there is a challenge. I’m addicted to the MPG read-out and am constantly trying to beat my mileage from last nights trip. I fear I will soon be just a splotch on the road when a Hummer runs over me and doesn’t even notice.

  • http://realmuscleonline.com Weight loss

    It is something that has really been buggin me lately. I am in India now and the Environment is not even considered. Makes me realize how big a job we have to do and most people don’t even care…

  • http://www.johnandnaima.com naima

    my husband & i drive a vw GTI the size of a pea, our trunk has been outfitted with a subwoofer the size of our condo. oh baby!

  • http://buywatches.com.au Buy Watches

    Funny as hell! That made me laugh out a loud. However, there is a serious side to these cars – I hope they sort it out soon as we have cars that run off water!

  • Moxie

    Ahhh, Napoleon’s Penis…the great equalizer.

  • http://realmuscleonline.com/category/bodybuilding/ Bodybuilding bodybuilder

    I literally spat out my tea reading this article.

    I am subscribing to this blog. I can’t belive I don’t have you on RSS yet. I read it all the time.

    Love your work please keep it up.


  • Martha

    I’m feelin’ your pain. We fold 4 people into a Mazda 5 and we are keepin it real…..REAL HOT because the ac is pitiful if the temp is anywhere above 80.


  • Catie

    Having lived in Tennessee don’t you know that then only really air conditioner is 60 mph with all the windows down, dog in the back with its head out the window? (I’m currently a Knoxville gal but I’m sure west TN isn’t that different)
    Both my cars have had AC problems and middle of July you can bet I’m not taking any extra trips anywhere.

  • http://jlkmustang.blogspot.com Julie

    I’m LOVING Loni! And Leta is getting more and more beautiful. I love the way you capture the color of her eyes in your photographs.

  • http://seeemilyknit.blogspot.com Emily

    Was the Napoleon penis story some kind of repeat from the Bryant Park Project? Their version of that from last week was awesome. The best part is to go through and count the number of penis euphamisims they use throughout.

  • http://eyesaverted.blogspot.com/ Wicked H

    Scouring the interwebs. I will find you that penis in a box. If it is the last thing I do.

    If I cannot, will a dozen napoleons in a box do??

  • http://meplus3.wordpress.com amy

    we’d be driving a prius, but for the fact that I had twins. 3 kids and a prius don’t mix well. So its a minivan. It kills me to fill it up.

    good for you for driving the small car.

  • http://www.missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com Deb (Missives from Suburbia)

    I generally think penises are the only reason women keep men alive.

  • Anonymous

    Did it feel like Napoleon’s penis was smacking you in the back of the head as you listed?

    Because I road around in a car with a subwoofer once, and that’s exactly how I would describe it. I should clarify–not the tiny beef jerky penis, but the one Napoleon talks about at parties. That’s that one that was smacking me all the way through Can’t Touch This.

  • rosalyn

    You are totally crazy and I absolutely love you. You make me laugh out loud with your view of the world. Did I say that I love you? Good job with the Honda and the woofer and being called baby. …………and really that does fix a whole lot.

  • http://frenchrangoon.blogspot.com French Rangoon

    I hear you about the heat. I drive a behemoth of a car (which I am selling, like, right now) whose air conditioning is kaput and it just sucks. Especially at high speeds, you have to make the choice between your eardrums and your sweat glands. It’s a painful decision.

  • http://photosbykymb.blogspot.com kym b

    amy, I feel you on filling up the minivan. We used to be Civic owners, but 3 kids in carseats later, no dice. Someday…

    I love the “baby. BABY! I can totally hear it (and have)

  • http://abitsquirrelly.blogspot.com/ KD@ A Bit Squirrelly

    So I am floored that I even made it in the top 100 comments let alone the top 10 (15?) so I felt the urge to comment.

    I feel your pain. Not in the stereo area (though I am SURE it comes next) but in the car priorities. Caspian (my husband) cannot for the life of him resist the urge to put wheels and tires on everything. The only reason our suv is stock is because he put wheels on his nova…**sigh**

  • http://thisispat.blogspot.com Pat

    I thought you were totally serious about “Loni” until I noticed a mistake. The correct spelling is “Menomonie, Wisconsin.” No self-respecting writer would purposely make a spelling error. : – )

    This is the closest I’ve come to the top of the comments. I look forward every day to your musings.

  • http://www.macaroonshindig.com Katherine

    I sympathize with the A/C. I grew up riding in the back of a Ford Taurus (you know, the trunk), where A/C does not exist. Cool air? Go to the other side of the globe! …And I hate to add this but we fit in my dad’s Hatchback, where the A/C reached. (But, only one of us was tall then. :)

  • http://www.janetnelson.net Janet

    My husband who is 6’4″ and very long waisted has to try on cars. Surprisingly the VW Beetle has headroom to spare even with the sunroof.

  • http://unmitigated.typepad.com Middle Aged woman

    Oh my god, it’s penis day! Mika Adamick guest-blogged on Dad Gone Mad with a penis story. Penis, penis, penis. I just like saying it.

  • http://www.justanotherkatie.blogspot.com ktjane


  • Angie T

    So why was Napoleon’s penis treated this way? Was he half horse or half Gnome?

  • Aisha

    Okay, now, when people ask me why one of my majors is history, I am going to tell them about that story, because it sounds way better than ‘I figure being a professor for a decade or so will be fun.’ (I plan on then quitting and opening some sort of coffee/bakery place. I keep waiting for my ideals/dreams to be crushed.)

  • http://www.aflux.net Antigone

    My husband, after several years, convinced me to get a system in my car and I kept putting him off till one weekend he INSISTED and I’ve never been happier. There is nothing better then NPR in FULL ON STEREO first thing in the morning. ;)

  • meggersh

    Love your blog, check it every day. And to see my mother’s hometown of Menominee in print? PRICELESS. (You spelled it correctly if you’re speaking of Menominee MICHIGAN, which is right on the U.P. MI/Wisconsin border. Common mistake.) Keep up the hilarity.

  • http://icouldcrybutidonthavetime.wordpress.com amyz5

    i love a post that can combine napoleon’s penis and going green.

    sorry to say that no matter what i ever drive that penis will really be more of a story for me. call me shallow.

  • http://www.kravos.com Kravos

    When I bought my new car last month, I promptly measured the space of the trunk. Priorities, know ‘em. Love ‘em. Obey ‘em

  • http://andothertimes.com Jillian

    I totally hear you on the air conditioning. We haven’t had air in our Honda for three years now, and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to take it.

  • Vickie

    Anyone who can get from the price of petrol to Napoleon’s penis in a few short paragraphs (and have it make perfect sense) is worthy of my undying respect. You are a genius x

  • http://www.bumpfairy.wordpress.com Bump

    You know… That hundred pound subwoofer is kind of killing your awesome gas mileage, thus making the squeezing into that tiny clown car kind of redundant. Plus where will you put the groceries?

    In other news; I saw the Napoleon thing on the history channel. The reporter was accurate. I giggle!

  • http://www.jeremyharker.com/family Colleen

    I’d feel a lot sorrier for you if my six-foot-nine husband didn’t commute to SLC every day in a Civic. Yep. And that is why our house is for sale.

  • ol time reader

    hey dooce, just checking in on you. just buy a prius already!
    get on oprah and with that kinda exposure you could buy a coupla prius-es — pri-i?

  • http://mirandawphotography.blogspot.com Mira

    I am totally googling that now. lol

  • Wendy

    I LOLed at the “baby! BABY!” thing. Just about sums up my husband’s attempts at getting into my good graces after he spends 62.50 on one, ONE autographed Indiana Jones card.

  • Ely

    I wonder if you pulled up to the stop light and the car next to you heard the bass in the voice of the reporter keep saying “Napoleon’s Penis.”

    I bet he’d think “nice woofers”

  • Michele

    I hope the stereo don’t pop the windows out.

    My hubby thinks there is no such thing as too loud in a car… I think he is just trying to drown the rest of us out.

    Love your site.

    First time poster
    Long time reader

  • http://www.abritandabit.typepad.com Auds at Barking Mad

    This is brilliant. Yes indeed a Honda Civic was made for men like my husband, a short British dude. It’s ok, he’s used to all the Hobbit jokes by now.

    Just the same, it will be a cold day in hell before he reads this. He’ll use it to justify getting the mother of all stereos put into MY Volvo. He says, because he intends to get Sirius worked into the deal too, that I’ll be able to enjoy BBC1. Sure I will…I’m not the cheeky Brit in this equation. I’d never see my Volvo again, and I’d be stuck with his ugly green Subaru!

    Nope, gonna tell the hubby your site was down for the day…and maybe the next week too. Hell, lets shoot for a month.

  • http://teatreeandrest.blogspot.com sarah

    Saved by a penis. Even though you agreed with Leta when she said boys are bad.

  • http://blog.heatherink.com Heather

    I had a similar situation when my husband upgraded ou tv. After much begging and pleading from him I finally agreed to a 56″ television. 56! I came home from work to meet the delivery man and what appears? A 61″ television gets dropped in my entrance hallway. He still contends that it was a company error and he did in fact order the lesser tv. I may never really know.

  • http://thementalpausechronicles.blogspot.com Mental P Mama

    I love this whole thing. Seriously. Little Napoleon.

  • Laura

    I just about peed myself laughing at this. I think I hear you driving by my place right now with your boombastic stereo.

  • Stacy

    I am *so* going to form a band called Napolean’s Penis.