Leta (pretending to apply blush to her own face while I apply mascara to my eyelashes): “You wear make-up because you’re a girl. I wear make-up because I’m a girl. Only girls wear make-up.”

Me: “Not necessarily. Some boys wear make-up, too.”

Leta: “WHAT?! Boys do NOT wear make-up!”

Me: “Some boys do. And it’s okay if they do.”

Leta: “But if boys wear make-up they would get dizzy.”

Me: “They would get dizzy? What?”

Leta: “They would get dizzy and fall down.”

Me: “What on earth are you talking about?”

Leta: “Papaw wears make-up, and he gets dizzy.”

Me: “You saw Papaw wearing make-up?”

Leta: “Yep, I did.”

Me: “Papaw, The Most Conservative Person On The Planet?”

Leta: “And he fell over.”

Me: “Obviously, because the only way Papaw would be seen wearing make-up was if someone hit him in the head with a blunt object and then applied it to his face while he lay on the ground unconscious.”

Leta: “I thought he looked cute.”