• http://phhhst.blogspot.com/ phhst

    I’m a big fan of the Leta stories, but his is one of my favs. Now she can eat pancakes with hyrup for days and not be too too worried about cavities.

  • http://.blog.deedoos-digital-scrapbooking.com Janet

    Loved the story. Years (and years) ago, my then 5-year-old sister refused to get into the dentist’s chair. I watched in horror, as the assistant literally chased her around the chair. Then I got to sit outside and listen to her screams and imagine the worst as the ‘doctor’ completed filling one of her teeth. Imagine having to take your turn after THAT. Story goes she actually BIT the guy that day….heh heh heh. Dentistry has come a LONG way since then, thank God!

  • http://grammology.com Dorothy Stahlnecker

    You did the right thing by taking her to the dentist. And I’m so glad the experience was good..

    At 62, having gone through Chemo for the last six months, I’m glad my mom always made me care for my teeth. They can affect more then your mouth it can cause stomach and indigestion issues as well.

    Good job mom and dad and how wonderful that you do it as a family….

    Dorothy from grammology

  • Caryn

    Loved Little shop of horrors. I can totally relate. At my 5-year-old’s last doctor’s visit, she yelled (and I mean screamed so that the entire waiting room wouldn’t make eye contact with me when we were leaving) at him, “This is the worst fucking day of my life!” And me? I started crying! From humiliation!

    So, it sounds like you made it through relatively unscathed.

  • http://www.BananaBlueberry.com/ BananaBlueberry

    Ah yes, do not underestimate the toothbrush. My 4 year old son will only brush his teeth with a Diego toothbrush.
    I’m glad you have a good person/place to go:
    my son loves going to the dentist b/c they have flatscreens (showing cartoons) high up on the wall that all the kids can watch while getting their teeth cleaned;
    I know that’s kind-of cheating- but whatever works…
    as all moms know :)


    Oh these kids today! I wish I had princess toothbrushes to get me to brush my teeth more often, or to make me less apprehensive about going to the dentist. But nooo my toothbrushes were boring. B O R I N G

    Just like yours I’m sure…

  • Sara

    Ha! That was funny.

  • maddnessofme

    You totally need to make sure you don’t buy her any replacement princess toothbrushes. Be sure she knows the only way to get a princess toothbrush is at the dentist.

  • http://www.rachelrowell.wordpress.com Rachel

    LOL….So funny! Thanks for sharing.

  • Steve

    We used to try to bribe our kids till we saw how much the bribery was costing us. You’d think we were trying to get to a high level politician. Then we discovered shiny little gold star stickers (like you used to get in school). Somehow we were able to give these useless items value above anything else. Now we have tears if they don’t achieve a star for sleeping well. All the princess toothbrushes in the world would not replace a gold star in our house.

  • http://www.betterbalance.blogspot.com Casey

    If Leta’s excitement about the princess toothbrush begins to wane, I have a secret weapon for you. The princess toothbrush WITH A TONGUE CLEANER. It’s just little nubbies on the back of the brush head, but once you’ve explained how it gets rid of germs on her tongue and improves her breath, she’ll be totally at your mercy. Except that she will make you smell her breath each time she uses it. Small price to pay.

  • Courtney Sue

    I went to a pediatric dentist until I was 18. It was great! I have had everything done short of a root canal (teeth pulled, braces, retainer, surgery…) and have never feared the dentist, and I think it stems from having a good experience early on. (Seriously, I’ve never understood people’s fear of the dentist, and I’m not like Bill Murray’s character in the Little Shop of Horrors movie, either.)

  • http://www.deadgirlsdontdance.com Miss J

    Thanks for the chuckle. I have no kids of my own, but I can kinda relate, because I have had to care for a multitude of nieces, nephews, cousins, and miscellaneous non-related cute little monsters, occasionally with disastrous yet funny results. Dooce, you make me feel regretful and deliriously grateful for my childlessness at the same time.

  • http://thatbeautifuldisaster.blogspot.com Kylie …

    You mean you can have your child’s teeth cleaned WITHOUT having to have them anaesthetized?


  • http://www.smartinibar.blogspot.com Megan

    Or pretty much tools of cruelty and punishment.

    (And that would be foresee, not forsee.)

  • http://www.grenswoningen.nl Wonen in Duitsland

    You mean you can have your child’s teeth cleaned WITHOUT having to have them anaesthetized?


    Uhmm, wasn’t this already a few years ago an issue, ?

  • Christie in Chicago

    Oh, the power of a princess toothbrush . . . I now keep a drawer full of extras after a traumatic experience involving big sister’s Cinderella toothbrush, younger brother, and the toilet. Needless to say I will never not keep at least a few princess replacements in reserve.

  • http://jesspages.net/ Jess

    Oh, the power of the Disney Princesses. Bow before it.

    In our house, it’s the Disney Fairies. But same deal.

  • http://www.peneloccupation.blogspot.com Penelope

    As the Manager of an employee of the two year old set, princess toothbrushes sound like excellent motivational tools! I think I will implement this strategy at my company immediately!

    (Can we please have more Heather drunk stories? Please?)

  • http://bigpikchur.blogspot.com HouseofJules

    I am bowing my head for a moment in hopes that for Coco’s sake, she never grows opposable thumbs and borrows Leta’s princess toothbrush.

  • http://www.shoesonwrong.com Annie

    I have kind of a pants allergy. They burn my flesh, so as soon as I walk into the house, I rip my pants off and do a touchdown dance.

    (There was the one embarrassing incident where I started my pre-pants rip-off unbuttoning in the hall and a neighbor saw me and gave me a weird look.)

    No one believes me that it’s a real allergy, not even my husband. Seriously. I should be in a medical book.

  • Amanda

    I am laughing out loud right now…
    hilarious and so well written.
    The pantless/drunk bit hand me falling off my chair.

    Heather, you are my hero.


  • http://notesfromthesleepdeprived.blogspot.com Wendy

    I wonder if they give grown-ups Princess Toothbrushes. Because I’m terrified of the dentist. I may have even passed that trait on to my children. But they’re baby teeth. They fall out anyway, right? I mean, isn’t that why God made them that way? So we don’t have to take the little maniacs to the dentist?

  • danielle

    I second Penelope’s request: more drunk Heather stories. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I can relate…

  • DMK

    I had to take my older son to the pediatric dentist because he had to be sedated before he would let a dentist examine him. He’s 19 now and goes away to college and everything. Leta did very well!

  • http://morefluff.blogspot.com Lynerd

    There were no complaints of how awful-tasting the tooth polish is? Really? or the annoyance of the flossing? That’s really impressive. The hygienist will have to come up with a bigger bribe once Leta discovers that biting dentists’ fingers can lead to bigger rewards.

  • http://scarletvirago.blogspot.com alex

    When you find that chocolate pony that shits M&Ms, send him my way, will ya?

  • http://bathtubadventurer.blogspot.com Nora

    You got drunk in the Lower Haight? I live in the Lowe Haight! And that’s how I go to bed every single night.

    Well, not really, but every time I get drunk, one of the first questions I ask my boyfriend the next morning is, “How’d my pants get on the ______?” It’s like drunkeness and pantslessness are handled in the same segment of the brain.

  • http://www.gitzengirl.blogspot.com sara

    I’m just realizing it’s been awhile since I’ve been to the dentist and holy crap I so don’t want to end up homeless and unable to talk! But I’m not really into princess toothbrushes… can I instead have whatever you had to drink to put you in your happy place? Because that sounds like more fun than brushing my teeth before bed.

    I’m a lightweight though. I’m guessing one drink would be enough for me to think Michael Phelps is Spongebob.


  • http://monkeylaurie.blogspot.com Laurie

    Wow. Same experience. Ours ended with a Lightning McQueen toothbrush, though, and the boy was happy. BEGS to go to the dentist. He lost a tooth recently and another is on it’s way out. “When are we going to the dentist so he can look at the holes in my mouth?” Yes. I’m going to pay the dentist to clean those holes.

  • http://www.mydogumentary.wordpress.com gingela5

    I have to go to the dentist in a couple of weeks…I hope I get a princess toothbrush. Although I’m sure I won’t deserve one.

  • Anonymous

    Hyperbole, we can all safely conclude, is genetic.

  • http://doulamomma.blogspot.com/ DoulaMomma

    I once brushed my teeth for about an hour…but it was in Amsterdam.
    Thanks for the reminder – my kids & I are crazily, practically-illegally overdue for checkups.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com the mighty jimbo

    i can think of a few former girlfriends that i wish took that much time on their dental hygiene.

    but i’m pretty sure it takes more than a princess toothbrush when in your twenties. they were probably just holding out for an orthodontist boyfriend. that’s my theory.

    in other news, i seem to have very similar san fran alcohol experiences. for some reason, booze in sf, just tastes better.

  • kate

    Two Things: 1, My 35-year-old husband has a Hot Wheels electric toothbrush that he adores almost as much as Leta seems to love that Princess one. 2, your pants-off drunken evening had me laughing so, so hard recalling a particularly gruesome evening on a visit to London that involved nudity and falafal from the halal kebab place near our hotel. My husband threatens to release the photos from that incident should I displease him. :)

  • http://3yrplan.typepad.com/soeursdujour Kath

    I am not a good patient at the dentist. I’m fearful and weepy. I always take a toothbrush and something from the kids’ table, last time I took a pink pencil and it made me feel better. But in retrospect, I guess it’s a $300.00 pencil because it’s the only part of the whole expensive experience that I liked! Good on Leta for being a brave princess.

  • http://www.mydogumentary.wordpress.com gingela5

    Oh yeah, I was also going to say that that couch that Leta is laying on looks SOOO comfortable. Lucky her and Chuck!

  • Sara

    I have to comment on the picture of Chuck and Leta– I think our pets have an amazing sense of when we need comfort. My cat has the feline version of ADHD. She cannot sit still for more than 5 minutes. But when I don’t feel well, she will literally sit on my body in whatever spot I place her and will not move until I physically pick her up. Pets know.

  • http://anywayiwasjustthinking.blogspot.com Liz C

    Oh this was so like what I went through with my son. At his first cleaning he was having NONE OF IT, period. Then the dentist told me he needed 4 crowns and 6 fillings because his teeth were decalcifying. Are you kidding me?!?

    So I made an appt with a pediatric dentist and paid an extra $1000 (out of pocket) to have them give my son a squirt of Valium up the nose then put him under general anesthesia. Because if he even saw that dentist chair un-medicated it would be all over. And there was no way he would ever tolerate doing it over multiple visits.

    He got it all done at once and afterwards didn’t even remember how he got his ‘silver teeth’. Since that day he loves the dentist. Must’ve been the Valium.

    That was 4 years ago and my stomach cramps just thinking about it.

    He’s easier to deal with than he was when he was little, but it’s still tough to get him to do anything he doesn’t buy into 100%.

    Good times.

  • http://sheasytime.blogspot.com sheasy

    I think maybe I need a Disney princess toothbrush.

    Way to go, Leta.

  • http://amandaormandy.blogspot.com @manda

    OH MY! I have never laughed so hard.
    I think you are the absolute perfect parent and just because of your stories about Leta I cannot wait to be a mommy! :)
    I read a lot of your blogs last night, and was looking at those cute dressed that you got her…


  • http://mskarensplace.blogspot.com Ms. Karen

    For us it was Thomas the Tank Engine toothbrushes. Many of them, because they would share…with the dogs, their toy trucks (the ones that had been outside), their friends…

  • cmom

    During the years I was raising my four children, I discovered that if you make a big deal out of it, it will become a big deal. If you don’t, then it won’t. Come on, we have to go to the dentist. Part of life. Over. Deal. Great story.

  • http://diaryofwhy.blogspot.com DiaryofWhy

    I was never scared of the dentist when I was little, I think because Mr. Rogers told me not to be. As an adult, I’ve come to the conclusion that Mr. Rogers has never had a root canal. Free toothbrushes do help ease the sting a little bit, though. I’m a sucker for swag.

  • http://www.princesseemma.com/ Emma

    I was never scared of the dentist as a kid, nor am I now. I think this is because I never had a bad experience – not one filling in my 24 years.
    And maybe because I have so much anxiety about othe things there’s no room to worry about the dentist!

    But I can see how the dentist is a scary place – so congrats to Leta for being brave. Somehow I don’t think you’ll have a problem taking her back to The Land of Princess Toothbrushes…

    Also – Congrats to you and Jon for 6 years of happy marriage!!!

  • ChloeM

    In the bad old days, the first spouse and I would drink at parties to the point that we didn’t remember which one of us drove home.

    But after we had children, things changed. There was only one occasion when I woke up in the guest room, found the buttons from my shirt ripped off and scattered across the floor (too impatient to unbutton), and found the car with two flat tires in the driveway. This after a party I attended alone.

    I’m not bragging – I’m amazed to be alive – older, wiser, and sober. In fact, I’m the designated driver for any and all occasions and loving the control.

  • http://www.fuckedupchick.blogspot.com J.

    I had MUCH dental trauma when I was young, and all of the Disney Princess’ couldn’t make up for it. However, I also had great negative examples of what happens to your mouth without regular dental exams, so while I find the dentist unpleasant, I find I like having my teeth so much more.

  • Susan

    I NEED the name of Leta’s dentist!! The last time I went to the dentist, found out I needed a tooth pulled. NOW. Had to wait for the antibx since I’ve had a total hip replacement (for my 40th bday).

    I will get another hip replacement before I go through that tooth pulling procedure again — and that was with good drugs (mask and IV). Spit out bone for days.

    If only I’d been using a princess toothbrush all those years. Now I’m taking very, very good care of my teeth. Good for Leta!

  • Barb

    I love reading your blog (I know, you hear that all the time!) and I love the tale of Leta at the dentist (and all the other stories of Leta and well, everything else).

    But. . . today’s Daily Chuck photo is so special. It just may be my all-time favorite (and there are sooooo many). He is definitely amazing!

    Thanks for sharing your crazy life with us.

  • Elena

    Oh my god – Radiohead! In the FRONT ROW. How did your head not explode??

    I saw them here in Seattle (granted, from a couple hundred thousand feet away) and it was so amazing. That’s great to hear you’re a Radiohead fan!