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Rounding out her resume | dooce® dooce® » I'm Heather B. Armstrong. This is my website. » Rounding out her resume
  • Anonymous

    I am pregnant and at work and I just laughed so hard I peed a little.

    So now I am pregnant, at work, with wet pants and smell of piss and it’s your fault.

  • Sarah Mary

    Evil sheep movie? Already been done.
    http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/blacksheep/

  • http://www.wehavebigplans.blogspot.com rebecki

    Is it weird that I almost started tearing up at the end?

  • Julie

    THAT is way too cool! Thanks for sharing!

  • http://www.myspace.com/dmcco01 Deanna

    When I was a kid my mom would let me go sit on the floor in the magazine aisle and read while she shopped. This was in the 70s when parents didn’t worry about us being snatched. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part.

  • http://www.decoybetty.com Deidre

    The embarrassing things we do for our dogs.

    I grew up in the outback of New Hampshire, with 5 horses. One of my Aussie shepherds immediately took to herding them, it is exhilarating isn’t it?

  • http://tiggerlane.blogspot.com Tiggerlane

    S&M with sheep – OMG, a video of that would totally blast “Cooking Edamame” out of the pot of boiling water. Damn.

    Hopefully, Coco won’t go into full “herding” mode, next time you chase Jon around the house, slapping his ass.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com the mighty jimbo

    my dog was apparently born to herd laser pointers and kill squeaky toys.

    he’s remarkably adept at both.

  • andrell

    you made my day.

  • Anonymous

    Oh, we have a Sheltie who would love this, but no sheep around here that I know of(or at least none that you can herd for fun) so he has to be content with herding his friend who is a Cavalier, and to be truthful..he doesn’t much like it..

  • http://smalltownmom.blogspot.com Smalltown Mom

    I could offer her a job herding small children on a playground.

  • http://www.twodogsrunningsouth.blogspot.com/ Emily

    Did you take any video? Can we see?

  • http://www.thedishy.com Schatze

    I’m glad you finally wrote about this! Did not expect the sheep/ass slapping, but hey- whatever works! For the record, shearing sheep is really foul- my grandparents have a ranch in WY and I’d rather artificially inseminate a cow.

  • devon

    “…It said: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. YOU ARE ACTUALLY ENCOURAGING ME TO CHASE THOSE ANIMALS?”

    Fucking. Hilarious.

    And absolutely fucking awesome.

  • http://www.myfunnyfunnyfamily.com Carrie

    Somehow when I loaded your post I read that sheep chasing and ass-slapping line first. So I assumed, of course, that this was a post about insomnia. Hard-core insomnia.

  • http://preteenstoddlersandnewbornsohmy.blogspot.com/ jennielynn

    You are a far better doggie mama than I am.

  • Caroline

    Evil sheep movie! Here you go!
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0779982/

  • Sonya

    Excellent story. I’m amazed at how a herding dog knew what to do once it was properly shown. The trainer amazes me in that he/she knew exactly how to humiliate you in order to get the desired result.

    Thanks for making me laugh.

  • http://james.gameover.com/ James John Malcolm

    Hehehe, the internets grinned sheepishly, barn yard doocing!

    But yes, sheep are freaky like that. You can tell the weather by them though :)

  • Sonya

    Oh, so now what is Coco going to do when she goes home. Herd people?

  • http://www.smartinibar.blogspot.com Megan

    This is as fabulous as it gets to my majored-in-animal-science heart!

    I have to admit that I was secretly hoping that Jon was ever ready with his camera and got photographic evidence of the sheep chasing and ass slapping. Really, really hoping…

    Leta’s slightly more advanced vocabulary makes me laugh out loud in a really obnoxious way.

  • http://frettingthesmallstuff.typepad.com andrea

    See! A job is totally what she needed! Perhaps she could herd the visitors in Temple Square? Was that not P.C.?

  • http://www.myspace.com/a_is_for_andra Andra

    It must have been very exciting for you to witness your dog doing something completely right (almost) the first time around. Go Coco!

  • Beth

    I was beginning to wonder if the herding story was ever coming! After I saw those two photos I was dying to know. It sounds like it was great for Coco, and as always you tell it with humor! I might suggest to my sister, who has a dog w/ some herder in her that she do the same!

  • Katie

    “…was probably a lot like what Jon experienced the first time he met my mother and was all, oh. Now I get it. The Crazy is hereditary.”

    I’m pretty sure this is EXACTLY what my husband thought when he met my mother. God Bless our husbands.

  • http://NoOneWatching.com Grace

    Isn’t it amazing? We have a livestock guardian dog (Anatolian Shepherd), and it was such an eye-opener to realize that what seems like just odd neurotic behavior (the constant vigilant WATCHING) is actually part of his genetic code. It’s what generations of dogs like him have been bred do it. Mind-blowing.

  • LeeLee

    …love the visual of you running around the pen…bwahhahaha!

  • MissyH

    I, too, have a herding breed, and really, seeing the proverbial lightbulbs go off in his head the first time we took him herding, was truly amazing.

    Be warned, them herding people can get kooky, and they might even suggest herding things that are downright comical, things like llamas, goats, reindeer (no shit), and ducks are always fodder for refining technique.

    With your new pure-bred dog cred, rent Best in Show, if you haven’t already. Then extrapolate that to homely people with marginal people skills (but excellent animal skills) on a ranch, and it will save you the one hour drive.

  • lorim

    Well, now that you know what Coco’s calling is, perhaps she’ll stop throwing herself over Chuck’s back like a big-ass bag of wet sand. Great post, Heather!

  • Lisa

    Imagining You in the Princess diaper….PRICELESS. Dooce is back doing was Dooce DOES BEST!

  • belletoes

    So cool. I wish you had video. I would love to meet the parents and/or siblings of my mutts, too. MoMo Shanaynay is Chuck’s twin (I’ve sent you a pic of her)and would be awesome to figure out what the hell they are!

  • Sarah

    Awesome post.
    In all aspects.
    Thanks for the gut-wrenching laugh today. I really really needed that!

  • http://greatdayinmaine.blogspot.com Leesavee

    PLEASE tell me that there is video of this!!!!! You slapping the sheep on the ass, that is.

  • Dana

    That movie you’re looking for has already been made. It’s called Black Sheep and it’s hilarious. It seems like a mix of Grindhouse and Shawn of the Dead, so basically awesome. You should check it out sometime.

  • http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/search/label/by%20Jacquie Jacquie

    That’s awfully cool. I wonder how I might go about discovering what my dog’s DNA inclines her to do. She must have been made for more than just unstuffing animals.

  • http://joanneslife.blogspot.com jo

    My sister had an Australian Shepherd. She loved to herd my sisters horses. Even when my sister only had 3 horses, Robin would be out there herding the three for no other reason than the love to herd. She would also try to herd us but we were much less cooperative. (Although it was hysterical to watch her try to herd my niece and her little friends)

  • Nat W.

    And there’s not video of that??

  • Susan

    I *heart* your family! Thanks for the belly laughs!

  • http://shoeism.wordpress.com Therese

    The mental picture of you herding sheep, while screaming Coco’s name? That will stay with me for some time. And I, for one, am delighted.

    Thank you, Heather, for giving the Internet such a wonderful gem.

  • Helen

    Fucking hilarious!
    My daughter loves those disney princess pull-ups!

  • Kymmi

    Love the ending. Such a perfect ‘and we all lived happily ever after’ – with you know, our urban herd and Etsy shop.

  • http://fusionofme.blogspot.com/ Aisha

    I keep trying to convince my boyfriend that we need alpacas, sheep, chickens and possibly bees one day. He’s nearly sold on the alpacas/sheep, but isn’t keen on the chickens (he’s allergic to eggs) and he refuses to discuss bees. He’s allergic and in his family, each sting results in a worse reaction each time. I can understand that, which is why the bees would be far away from the house. Then he says something about the kids and then the conversation goes downhill. The words ‘you don’t like getting hot! Or poo!’ get tossed around.

    At least Jon doesn’t have fun tales about texts your mother has sent him?

  • http://www.phoo-d.com Phoo-D

    That mental image of you chasing sheep is hilarious. Where, oh where was John with his camera?? It’s great to see a working dog doing what they were bred to do, one of the greater joys in dog ownership in my opinion. Coco finally got her day!

  • http://www.kangs.wordpress.com Kimmy

    I just finished reading this while at work in my little cubicle – covering my mouth so that I wouldn’t crack up out loud! Coco is such a weirdo!

    Last night our internet was getting hooked up through verizon, and on our desktop I have Chuck with the Marge Simpson wig on. It’s just so damn funny that I must look at it everyday. The guy who was setting our wireless modem up by remote was in India. He asked if Chuck was our dog. I tried to get my boyfriend to plug dooce.com, but he didn’t hear me.

    Your dog stories are great! And someone in India thinks Chuck in a wig is awesome.

    Kim

  • http://teamcraunchatter.blogspot.com/ Jen

    Definitely time to get sheep.
    Leta can count them, after reading her bedtime book.

  • http://www.myspace.com/mayamomma Pamela

    Oh man I hope there’s video. I’m on board with the others – let’s see it!

  • http://www.spinningathena.blogspot.com kristin

    That’s so awesome. Hooray for Coco! Does she get to go back and do it again? You should read some of Jon Katz’s books – he has two herding dogs and he ends up moving out to a farm with them. Have Leta teach Coco to read and she can learn all about it.

  • Stephanie Melton

    Did not see that coming – but, so glad I stopped by here today! I had to wipe the tears from my laughter out of my eyes so that I could type. I am very happy for Coco, though!

  • Marcie

    Oh my god, that totally made me laugh out loud.
    Great post.

  • http://bp1.blogger.com/__ZLYkgqO35U/SIelH_tt16I/AAAAAAAAA2k/IL7eoKrNLVA/s1600-h/IMG_2147.JPG Wes