Two brief anecdotes
Jon, Leta, and I are spending a leisurely Saturday afternoon shopping at a nearby outdoor mall and hop into a furniture store just to browse what's new. We test out a few couches, inspect a few coffee tables, and Leta admires several large pillows. She sees a gigantic floor pillow covered in a soft zebra pattern and declares that she would like one of those right now, please. I check its price tag, gag on the idea of handing over a mortgage payment for a pillow that would no doubt be covered in Capri Sun stains within ten minutes of being in our house, and declare that it will not be coming home with us. But she said please. Yeah, and I said no. But she said the whole thing nicely. Yeah, and your point is? Mama would very much like a bigger set of tits right now, please. See how that didn't work?
Jon and I head toward the exit and can feel the temperature in the room rising with Leta's anger, and suddenly she throws her body face first onto the floor. We step over her body and pretend that we don't know whose kid that is, remarking to each other that some people really need to learn to get control over their rotten offspring, and when she sees that it's fourth down and twenty yards to go she turns over on her back and yells up from the floor, "OH MY GOD THE HELL."
Both Jon and I whip around and give her The Menacing Stare, the So Help Me God I Will Risk Going To Prison If That's What This Is Going To Take kind of glare, and when she makes eye contact with us she yells it again, only this time lingering on the last syllable as if she were singing the national anthem: "OH MY GOD THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
I march over to her horizontal body, pick her up and throw her over my shoulder like one might do a friend who has passed out from too much tequila and needs to be moved so that you don't run her over when you back out of the driveway, and quickly transport her outside. There I set her down, and then I squat so that my face is about a centimeter from hers and inform her that what she just did was totally unacceptable. And I think the speed with which that whole maneuver takes place has scared the living HELLLLLLLLLLLLL out of her because her lower lip starts to tremble and she says, "Okay, Mama." I ask her if she knows what she did wrong, but she is too terrified to answer me. If my dad had been standing there he would have given me a high five as this is the patented Hamilton Method of parenting.
"Leta, we told you never to use those words outside of the house, remember?"
"Yes, Mama," she says, a tear forming in her right eye.
"And if you ever do this again you're not going to be allowed to use those words inside the house either. You understand?"
...........
Jon and Leta have gone upstairs to have breakfast, and I stumble in about thirty minutes later half awake, half dead. I head straight for Jon to give him a hug and thank him for getting up with the kid, and as we're lingering in a sleepy embrace Leta shouts, "Let's do a family hug!"
She hops down from the table where she is eating a bowl of Fruit Loops, runs over to us, and we pick her up and nuzzle her neck while squeezing each other to the point of discomfort. I give her a final kiss on the forehead before setting her down, and as I go to give Jon a kiss she proudly stares up at both of us as if we're her children and have just graduated with honors. "That right there..." she says, "...that was a damn good family hug."
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
301. Auds said:
Wow, after reading a few of these comments I can say; "Welcome to my World!"
Back in November of '07, my little girl, who wasn't yet 2 at the time, heard me utter the naughtiest of the naughty, "Mother Fucker!" after I dropped a 2.5 pound can of crushed tomatoes on my toe. Yeah, it wasn't my finest moment and nevermind the fact that I almost lost my toe and nevermind the fact that it did in fact hurt like a mother fucker. I own the fact that I said it and as a result, my 22 month old was now walking around the house saying; "mama fucker!"
The link below is of a video I shot (sorry the quality is crappy, I've not yet figured out how to upload decent quality videos that don't take hours to load) on the day after Thanksgiving (hence the funny looking food and paper plates - hey, it was leftovers, and after spending the previous day catering to 23 people, I wasn't about to go all out for leftovers!)as we sat around the table and she repeated those infamous words.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJEKr63guuo
The comments I've gotten on YouTube - some of them anyhow have been downright judgmental and I have to be honest...I don't get it. There have been a couple of comments which have crucified us for this parental faux pas. We've never told her it's OK to swear anywhere, quite the opposite. But that's what *we* deem appropriate in our home...we know our child and what works for us.
As an aside, she said it for two days after the initial incident, possibly three. But she got such a stern reprimand for it, she's never uttered it again and on the rare event she hears one of us utter a naughty word (most likely me as my very British and proper husband never swears) she tells us it's a bad word and not to ever say it again.
Obviously, my blog is evidence of my own propensity towards having a potty mouth. I try extremely hard NOT to swear around my daughter and insist that when my 18 year old is home visiting from college that she (OMG this one has a mouth on her like a trucker!) not swear (in all honesty, it seems really crass coming out of the mouth of such a beautiful young lady) whilst she's home.
At the end of the day (or this long rambling comment) I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't get all the judgment and condescension. Neither Heather nor I are advocating how *you* should raise your kids or what *you* should deem appropriate speech. So why all the hate?
Wow, how funny, I just realized my captcha/anti-spam thing says "Mother player" *lol*
302. Couponwhore said:
Children cussing is destroying society? I feel bad for mommies on the internet these days.
If you remember what made the older generations so damn respectable was that they weren't treated like infants until their 21st birthday. They had well established rules, boundaries and even *gasp* expectations.
For everyone else, more cowbell.
(More Cowbell is not my website, I'm not selling ya anything. It's just funny.)
303. Jessica said:
Our daughter's first (kind of) swear word was "fuckuschrist." She was two-ish, we were both proud and mortified...I especially, as I knew I was the one who'd said Jesus Fucking Christ one too many times in front of her when I thought she couldn't hear.
304. Anonymous said:
Since when did "hell" become a curse word anyhow?
305. Julia said:
Is it really that cute or endearing to hear a little kid swear? It's your house and your kid in the end, but it sounds like Leta (by way of her parents) got the short end of the deal when God handed out class...
306. WaltzInExile said:
Just last week, my 3 year old called her preschool teacher a dumbass. She wasn't parroting; she was repeating, 4 days after she'd heard the word used to describe the man who almost t-boned our car because he didn't heed his flashing red light. Am I proud of myself for saying that in front of her? No. But I'm WAY proud that she used it in context for herself - those are advanced language skills! (Plus, said teacher is, in fact, a dumbass, now that I think about it.)
307. Jen said:
*sigh*
that Leta is one hell of a kid. Love her.
308. Brat said:
My daughter swore when she was a toddler. She's now 29, a mother, has a great marriage and job and 2 kids of her own, and owns her own home.
Yeah, swearing at a young age will turn them into murderers and less than first class citizens.
Lighten up, you assholes!
Dooce, this post made my Monday and the majority of comments made my Tuesday!
309. Wendy Hill said:
Oh My God to Hell...she said damn!
310. AA said:
Dooce, I normally am 100% in support of everything you say, but this I just can't agree with. I don't think it's cute when kids use curse words, even in the right context. I think there are some things better left for adulthood - like swearing. My parents swore in front of me all the time (although I got my mouth washed out the one time I said "shit"), so it's not like I grew up a prude, and I do swear, but I don't think it's cute.
311. WendyB said:
Funny funny girl she is. At least she is using them in the correct context, because if the words were improperly used, now that would not be funny!
312. Anonymous said:
You have to laugh.
My daughter was walking through the house one day and bounced off the closed bedroom door. As she rubbed her forehead she blurted out a "mother f**ker". She was 2 years old. I laughed, my husband got mad at me. I can't help it, I thought it was hilarious.
313. chipmunk roasting said:
And unto the next generation ...
My five year old Granddaughter, losing in a game of _Sorry_ to her father (my son) and I, viewed the board, leaned back in her chair and declared "Oh, man, I'm screwed".
I just about died from inwardly exploding laughter.
Almost as funny was the look on her parents' faces.
*guffaw*
Go, Leta! Go, Dooce!
314. Beckybug said:
She has it all: the comedy genius, perfect timing, and eloquence of her mother. You know, you two are awesome for each other.
The comments you have going on here are outofcontrolhilariousness.
315. Emily said:
Awwww, you can totally tell you're beaming with pride.
316. seriously? said:
I didn't have the intestinal fortitude to make it through all the comments, so pardon me if I repeat others' words...but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??
I swear like a sailor. But there is no way in hell I'd allow a 4 year old to swear, at home or anywhere else. Unbelievable.
GREAT parenting right there.
317. greg t said:
WHAT DID THEY CHOOSE FOR THE DOGS NAME?????????
318. Barely Knit Together said:
When my daughter was young I was less careful (read: sailorifically mouthed) and the best translation I heard was when she said from the back seat on a New Jersey highway, "What did you say mommy? Pumpkin idiot?"
I love you! I just can't help myself - what a pumpkin wonderful way to start my day, reading about yours. Thanks!
319. Elizabeth said:
OK, so I know I'm too late for the dog name thing, but I had a dog that looked a lot like that dog. Her name was Solo, named for a wild dog in Africa being studied as part of someone (like Jane Goodall) who was sitting in the bushes watching a pack of wild dogs.
But, as Leta would say, who the hell gives a damn.
320. Anonymous said:
I just spent a weekend with my boyfriends nieces and, not having any kids of my own, was totally shocked by their language. Sure the swearing was minimal, but the grammar--terrible! I think I'd rather hear an "Oh shit!" from the three-year-old rather than the indignant "No, it ain't" that she was so fond of.
321. Emily said:
Remember folks, Dooce lives in Salt Lake City. To people in mormondom, those words are even more offensive than to people outside the corridor. Perhaps it was to be respectful of other people and not so much because Dooce was concerned about the words themselves.
For examplie - Farting in the privacy of your own house, perfectly acceptable. Letting one loose in a crowded airplane, not so much. Not because farting is inherently evil, you just try to spare other people the discomfort of experiencing it.
322. Lanie said:
Sigh.
For better or worse, I have to inject that I think cussing and a lot of this let-it-all-hang-out behavior is undeserving of rah-rahs.
I get it that we all cuss sometimes, and I get it that there's a difference between cussing in your own home vs. in public.
But I get it because I'm a grown-up. My brain is fully formed and I'm already socialized and all. Unlike, you know, preschoolers.
Having said that, this was a tale VERY well told. Which is why I keep reading this website while simultaneously cringing at some of it. Dooce is not-for-nothing a valedictorian with an English degree.
Just PLEASE, let us all flush our toilets. (Sheesh.)
323. Jess said:
Oh the hilarity!! I love it! I have such a nasty mouth on me...I often wondered how I would handle it with my own children one day...I think I now know!
324. Jennsa said:
As someone who grew up in a small mormon town (not being mormon myself), I have to say that I have witnessed far more kids than I care to remember saying shit like crap, and dang it and fudge or fudgesicle, or freak or freakin or son of a beehive or schnickerdoodle, or shishkabob and jeebus and.....fuck me. Seriosuly.
And jesus christ I do not have it in me to respect someone who self censors themselves to that degree. If you are saying son of a beehive, for example instead of 'son of a bitch' I know exactly what you were goddamn thinking and it makes me want to scratch your eyes out. These are only words--we give them power in the way we respond to them. I don't offend easily, you could call me a cunt if you want. Does not bother me in the slightest--the problem I have is WHY you might want to call me that to express your anger or frustration or...with me. Not the word you chose to use to express that anger. Grow some balls and speak like a normal grown adult. These are just words and like all good words they pack a considerable punch when used to express emotion.
HOWEVER, there are obviously venues where it is NOT appropriate to use such language and while I might choose to drop f-bombs on a very regular basis while I'm chatting with my girlfriends or my husband, I would not use it in front of clients whom I work with, or while I'm having a meal in a family restaurant where there are other people's children within earshot. Although I would and do use it in casual conversation with coworkers.
Use your brains and know when it's appropriate to use certain words and when it's not. That's all Heather was trying to teach Leta. I have a 12 year old step daughter and when she visits us I have no problem whatsoever with her saying things like hell or shit or bitch. I don't think she's ever gone so far as saying fuck with us though. She doesn't get much or a response from us, which for someone her age who is working double time at testing boundaries that was likely the whole point in the first place. Over the summer she used the words less and less because she was learning that they are just words and because my husband and I didn't throw a shit fit every time she used them she was no longer interested.
Besides, fuck is an enormously versatile word. It's one of my favourites.
325. Eleanor's Trousers said:
Leta has just summed up everything I feel about work every single morning of my life. If my office were soundproof right now, I would be shouting "OH MY GOD THE HELLLLLLLLLL," at full volume.
I keep trying to explain to people that I want children so they can make me laugh. I don't understand why this would be a bad reason to start a life at all.
326. Billygean said:
Me and my father (he raised me) have always sworn. He said it you do it sparingly it can be very effective in humour and in tantrums. So I do :)
BG
327. Tiggerlane said:
That was priceless...I wish I was your kid!
Now that mine has entered high school, I have to constantly remind her about the "inside" cursing ... and pray that when she screws up in cheer practice, she won't scream out a resounding, "FUCK!"
328. Lessie said:
Hysterical.
Can't decide which is better the "that right there" or the "damn good family hug"! :)
329. Shannon said:
I can't wait til my son's old enough to swear.
330. Lori Magno said:
That was a damn good story! I got to witness my young nephew's first "SHIT!" when he was three and fussing with Legos - my mother stifled the laugh, I didn't and my sister is still furious with me to this day (13 years later.)
Yeah, like he totally got a "D" in algebra because I laughed at an adorable (but yes, inappropriate) baby swear word. And they wonder aloud why I feed my cat on the table.
Ask me why I don't have children. No don't.
331. Melissa said:
Fan-flippin-tastic!
332. Jodie said:
Just one more comment... Maybe you can find a zebra striped bean bag chair. Almost as good as a giant pillow. Of course Leta wouldn't think so probably.
333. Natalie said:
Oh my, the comments are as good as the original post! I try not to swear around my son, but I'm not very successful. Normally, he only says a bad word if I say it and he's says "oooh, mommy, you said shiiiiit" and then "cookies in the jar, mommy!"
However, when he was about two years old we were driving through a busy plaza trying to find a parking spot and I was getting increasingly irritated. After some jerk cut me off and took the parking spot I was waiting for (he came from the other side), I lost my cool and called him a fucker (the other driver, not my son).
The next thing I know, my son is in the back seat reciting "mommy can't find a fucking fuck", over and over again. Of course, he meant parking spot, but in his two year old head he was transposing what I had just said with what I was looking for.
I don't care what any of those parenting know it all's say (and you'll no doubt see some links and nasty emails from this), this shit is funny!
334. shane_onegoodie said:
HIL LAR EEE US
335. Mama Bear said:
I had to share my cussing kid story. Years ago, when my nephew was about two, the whole family was standing in the kitchen chatting and little Felix was desperately trying to get his Uncle to come play with him. Over the grown-ups talking we eventually heard one small voice shouting repeatedly, "Come here, fucking guy! Come here, fucking guy!" All conversation died for minute, then everyone busted out laughing. Apparently, Felix's dad would shout the same thing to the chickens on the farm when it was feeding time. I loved the way the mom handled it though. She just leaned down and said to him "Maybe Uncle isn't coming to play because you're not asking nicely." To which he replied, "Oh." Then, in his nicest voice he said "Please come here fucking guy." Priceless.
336. Marissa said:
You're a damn good mama!!
If my son successfully controls his anger/frustration at missing a goal or his team not playing very well on the soccer field, he is allowed to say 1 or 2 "naughty" words in the car on the way home. He's almost 8.
But if he EVER said a naughty word in public he knows that would be the end of it and he would lose the privilege of watching the inane, whiny cartoons he loves so much.
337. Amie said:
When I was 3, on the first day of (Baptist) pre-school, we were talking about our favorite things...like color, animal, cartoon, etc. I raised my hand and said, "My mom's favorite word is shit!" :) So, moral of the story, Leta will turn out just fine!
338. Acasmi said:
It never gets old that American people think words like Damn and Hell are swear words. Now Bollocks, Bloody Hell and Arsehole are much better words to get your knickers in a twist over!
hugs and kisses, The United Kingdom
339. Lisa said:
For Deanna, I have parented 4 kids and I believe the majority of the parents who read this blog will concur, that kids do this kind of thing. It doesn't mean that we all need therapy (well unless they are wielding a gun or a knife). This kind of behavior is normal for children. Acting out is a way for them to communicate something that they haven't learned how to express. It is our jobs as parents to teach them how to express what they need to say. This teaching is sometimes more challenging if it is a persons first child. The learning curve is greater with the first child and so should be the sense of humor about it all. Parenting isn't about RAISING PERFECT KIDS. It's about making all kinds of mistakes and whoops and hearing all kinds of stuff in order for us to be TEACHERS and teach them how to grow up to be happy, healthy, contributing members of society. It also means that the parents have to be real (which involves some slips of the tongue once in a while) so that the kids don't feel they have to live up to PERFECT STANDARDS. Those are the people who NEED THERAPY. I am sure there are sometimes parts of Heather's stories we don't hear about (was Leta's time out really three hours!?!).
If you read Heather's FAQ you might get a better feel for where she is coming from.
Now politics on this blog on the other hand....is another story. CHUCK 2008!
340. chrissy said:
I agree, you guys are kick-ass parents. Leta is totally smart, I mean she used all of her curses in completely correct context! You have to appreciate that!
And about the damn good family hug, I mean, just... awww... you all get my vote in the cool book.
341. Krista said:
You brought back so many hysterical memories from my childhood just now.
1. My dad only refrains from one word around his kids - fuck. Everything else is fair game and always has been. His absolute favorite is SOB. So at a family picnic when I was about 5 (my cousin tells me), when a little-kid voice said very loudly and frustratedly, "well, son of a BITCH," everyone laughed and said, "What did Larry's kid just do?" Apparently I had dropped my plate in the middle of the yard and was very ticked off. Dad thought it was hilarious. Mom did not.
2. My mom's dad (whom I called "Pa") got a kick out of trying to get us kids in trouble, so he taught us all kinds of off-color stuff when we stayed with him. My favorite was when he told me to go home and call my mom a "dumas" (plus he enlightened me on what that meant). So I did. Here's how the convo with my mom went:
Me: You're a dumas.
Mom: What's that?
Me: Dumbass.
Mom: Who taught you that?
Me: Pa did.
I never was reprimanded for that. Pa was, however. :)
3. My good friends have a daughter named Libby. When Libby was a toddler, she was very precocious and picked up EVERYTHING anyone said or did around her. She and her daddy would have "headbanging time" after her bath, where she was allowed to jump on the bed, banging her head, and singing "Bodies" by Drowning Pool (in her adorably gruff cartoon-character voice) along with Daddy. Somehow around this time, she overheard the word "fuck". She did not use it in conversation but rather decided to make a song out of it. The first time her mom heard this song was in the grocery store, where Libby was very quietly singing to herself, "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuck, fuck-fuck-fuck, fuuuck, fuck, fuck". Her mom was so freaked out that someone might hear her, quiet though she was, that she literally ran through the rest of the store throwing things in the cart as fast as she could so she could get out of there before Libby found her volume knob.
And to the nay-sayers who believe this kind of overlooking of vulgar language causes children to grow up disturbed or disrespectful, I'm a successful professional who still does not talk back to my elders or superiors, and Libby is a high-schooler on the honor roll and is a true gem of a girl who makes her parents proud and has a great attitude. Inside/outside words are a great concept!!
342. Meg said:
MY mom used to be able to put the fear of god in me with just a stare. Good for you for doing all that and still managing to discipline Leta.
343. Lissa said:
Yeah. All the uptight people tsktsking you are making my eyes roll so hard I think I sprained something.
Get over it, folks. She UTTERED WORDS. You only think they're inappropriate because you were taught to do so.
It's not like she stood up and said, "I WANT THE PILLOW," and then stabbed her mother in the face or something. I find "inappropriate" language to be a much better way to act out frustration than, say, biting, kicking, punching, or hair-pulling.
Words. They are only words. We need to get over our fear of words.
344. feathermaye said:
The first time my son (now almost 18) strung 2 words together to make an actual sentence, the result was: "Fuckin' drivers!". I very nearly crashed the car...
We also followed the 'inside words and outside words' as well as 'words we NEVER say in front of Grandma' list.
Each year of high school simultaneously lengthened the 'outside words' list and shortened the 'inside words'.
The list for 'words we NEVER say in front of Grandma' remains intact.
345. M said:
I was at MIL's (who happens to be the Pastor of our church)house chatting with my kid* about her school day and the conversation went something like this:
Me: So how was school?
Kid: Fine, we got to play outside.
M: How'd you do on your spelling test**?
K: Ummmmmm, ok.
M: Where is your test?
K: I don't have it Mrs. B kept it.
M: Why???
K: Cause I used the "F" word.
M: What!?!?!?!?!? Why would you do that!?!?!?! (at this point my left eye began to twitch)
K: I didn't do it on purpose.
M: What does that have to do with your spelling test?
K: I misspelled "fork"
M: HUH??
K: I misspelled "fork" and Mrs. B said she would just throw the test out.
Yep, you guessed it. Instead of the "or" in fork my child used "uc". She's been in speech therapy for the past couple of years and when she says the word fork it almost sounds like furk. So when she sounded the word out in her head during the test she added a c in place of the r. My MIL and I laughed until we were literally crying. I have been telling all of our friends and family despite her protests. This will be the story I her 1st boyfriend, her future husband and my future grandkids. Hell, my mom is still telling the story of when I called our insurance man and Son of a B**** when he came to collect a payment and I was about 2-3 years old.
*She's not a cusser. She actually tattles on me to my mother whenever I cuss. I always tell her that mom is the one that taught me all the good cuss words, but she doesn't believe me.
**She made a 100 on the retest on Friday.
346. Deb said:
I LOVE that kid!
347. Lisa said:
Hahahaha........My son was in first grade when he looked down at the worksheet in front of him at his school desk and blurted out "What the freakin' hell!??? Like.......are you kidding me with this schoolwork!?
Out of the mouths of babes..........
348. CLH said:
My own little 16-month-old has taken to randomly saying in his tiny little voice, and oh-so-matter-of-factly but directed toward nothing in partcular, "Oh, shit." And his 3-year-old cousin, when she was younger, had trouble pronouncing 'dinosaurs' and called them instead: 'assholes.' How she got from one to the other ... I do not know.
349. Anonymous said:
Feel free to use the Leta response template to the hate e-mailers:
Dear reader:
I won't get into a piss match with you, so kindly fuck off.
Love,
Leta
350. Jeannen said:
Hysterical.
351. Jessica said:
LOL! So bad, yet so funny. :)
352. Sarah said:
The child is brilliant!
353. Rebecca said:
I can just imagine the nasty emails you're getting. I thought it was funny, though. Nothing like kids swearing to make you laugh. Speaking of which, if you haven't seen it, you should watch the video of landlord Pearl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxzzlTgHVGw
354. Jeanne said:
My husband and I would frequently argue about the things he'd allow our daughter to watch. When she was about 2 she was coloring at the table and some of the crayons rolled off the edge. She looked down and said, "You Bastards!" That was the end of Southpark in our house. She also used to say "Damn Germans" based on a WWII game that my husband spent time playing. We eventually got her to change it to "Damn Nazis" so as to not offend our German relatives!
355. Beffgus said:
I want a bumper sticker that says "Everything I Know About Parenting I Learned From The Armstrongs." Fuck yeah.
356. Jan said:
Well, I'm with on you most subjects but here's where we part ways. I don't believe that teaching a small child to swear is cute, or good parenting, even it makes for more humorous reading. JM
357. monica said:
GREAT post! Made me laugh my ass off. I used to babysit my cousin all the time when I was a teenager. I would play Nintendo and if I "died" in Super Mario Brothers, she'd yell OH SHIT. I laughed so hard at her that she'd just keep repeating it. She also sang "I want to sex you up" to the family dog because my aunt and uncle had a Color Me Badd CD at the time.
358. Tina said:
You are in so much trouble because she knows you don't want her using the words outside of the house. They understand right away what a big deal it is to everyone else and she will continue trying to use it stratigically. That's experience talking. But if it weren't swearing, she's smart enough to come up with some other way to torture you when she wants something.
359. Heather said:
Yesterday while doing a little grocery shopping with my daughter she said at the top of her lungs "I need to take a crap!" I'm glad she remembered to used her "outside of the house" language.
360. Mighty said:
sad
361. Jen said:
When my daughter was 2 she said "shit" at my mom's house. She told me later that day and I was all embarrassed and she said, "No, I was just amazed. She used it correctly"
That's my girl!
362. Jenn said:
Okay the first one makes me want to have a kid even more (I know I am so sick).
363. effer said:
Don't you think that you're confusing Leta by allowing her to swear at home, but nowhere else? What's the difference? A little hypocritical, don't you think?
I hate it when kids swear. There's nothing uglier then hearing curse words from a child's mouth.
364. Dawn said:
haha. Love the stories. My first bad word was "shit", which I learned from a public restroom wall when I was learning to read. When I was young my parents always taught me that curse words were "grownup words" and I wasn't allowed to use them until I got older---I would get around it every once in a while by asking, "Is 'fuck' a bad word? What about 'shit,' Is that a bad word?" My mom probably thought it was funny and didn't stop me since I wasn't using them in public, or out of anger.
When I did get old enough (I don't remember--14 maybe?) my dad didn't mind if I cursed as long as it wasn't in public, but even then I didn't do it very often. To this day I rarely curse in front of strangers.
365. P said:
Love it! And for all the tight asses out there- might want to get the broom out of your backside(s).
When I was in second grade, I remember calling one of my male classmates an "ass". I was promptly taken into the hallway where I tried to backpedal and say, I said, "look at the grass..." Turns out cussing was more my forte and not lying. Of course, I also remember taking really cool sparkly gold vinyl shoes in a bag to school to switch into when I didn't like the leather Mary Jane's my mom wanted me to wear. What can I say, I was an 8 year old rebel.
Fast forward almost 40 years, I still cuss like a sailor (mostly in my head!) but I'm a productive member of society with a home, a job, a 401K and no prison tattoos. Go *#@! figure!
366. Missives From Suburbia said:
Part of the reason I cannot break my son of using the word "f*cking" is because it made me laugh so hard the first time that now he knows the stern looks and words I use to deter him are completely false and that I'm secretly proud that he completely grasps the context of the word. I suppose the way I'm starting to look at it is that at least I know where he learned it from. There will be no, "WHERE did you hear that word, mister?" when he comes marching home from third grade one afternoon with a new soap-worth addition to his vocabulary. Hmm... although I suppose it will still be a toss-up as to whether he learned it from me or Hubby.
367. Kacey said:
@363: Do you curse at home? I do. Do you curse in public? I don't. Do you feel like a hypocrite? I don't. I don't see the logic there. I am simply remembering that certain speech is appropriate for certain times. I also wouldn't use my Texas slang when teaching in a classroom or in a job interview, I would use Standard American speech. Am I a hypocrite for doing so?
One of the best things my dad ever taught me was that words are not inherently bad, but some words are offensive to others and I should be mindful of that. Words are symbols that we have invented in order to communicate, not indicators of moral weakness.
A few hundred years ago the worst thing Leta could have said was Odds Bodkins (meaning, "god's little body" or basically, Jesus Christ). If she said that on the playground now, she would be laughed at. Language evolves, and words that meant a great deal thirty years ago no longer carry those negative connotations. Which is why those of us in the younger generations don't have a problem with the fuck word, and our parents are still mortified when it comes out in normal speech.
Way to go Armstrongs! That's a brilliant way to deal with the inevitable!
368. Anonymous said:
Hilarious story, but have you peed in Carol's OJ yet?
I'm DYING to know what they named the puppy!
369. effer said:
Dearest Kacey,
Either something's acceptable or it's not. I personally think it's stupid to teach a child that it's ok to swear at home. Why go there? That's probably why they have so many problems with Leta in the first place with tantrums. There's never any firm rules in place.
Man, you people are the biggest "arse" kissers in the world.
370. Tammy Powell said:
I laugh and thank God for the patience of mothers. You are saints, all of you. :)
371. Mari said:
OH MY GOD THE HELLLLL, what is the dog's name???!!!
372. gwendomama said:
FOUR YEARS OLD and that's the first time you threw her over your shoulder for a tantrum?
really?
373. Have the T-Shirt said:
I'll never forget when my TWO YEAR OLD was upset because I had asked him several times to pick up his toys. He pointed his crooked little finger at me and said, "Don't you go pissin' me off now!" With PERFECT inflection.
Yes, a proud moment indeed.
374. Kat said:
"OH MY GOD THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
I can't wait to use this! That right there, that was a damn fine post.
375. Jaime said:
I just found your blog and I gotta tell you that I am hysterical laughing right now at your posts. I really needed to laugh today and am so glad I came to visit! You have an AWESOME blog goin on here!
376. EDDEAUX said:
damn good family hug... wow, i'm so glad comments are open on this one, that was so great!
377. Perennial Gardens said:
This is just too funny. You just never know what children will say. When my nephew was almost three years old his parents took him to the beach for the first time. His dad led him out into the ocean and when the waves hit him he screamed get me out of this damn big river.
378. SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said:
"Yikes" and "Aww"...in that order...I think.
379. Ellen said:
The last sentence made me chuckle.
I wish my parents let me say that at home. A few years ago I uttered the phrase "Jesus Christ--I believe I was exclaiming over something Isaac Mizrahi said on television--and my father griped at me for 5 minutes on how I need to watch my language. Funny... we come from an agnostic family where nobody ever cared whether someone said "oh my God" or "damn" or "hell." Funnier... he taught me most of the real swear words I learned. When I was in kindergarten.
380. nicole said:
my own opinion - yes, the first time is funny and all, especially when they use it right, but something about it just makes me sad to hear it come from their little mouths. They have no innocence left. And trust me, when you're not around, that 'inside the house' rule is worthless. Wait until she's with 'her kids'.
two cents. you are good parents, and you don't need me to say so or otherwise.
381. Jenn said:
I have to tell I almost spit out my coffee reading this! Too funny!
How is the puppy doing?
382. Anonymous said:
I used to say "damn" and "hell" all the time when I was a kid. I didn't know there was anything wrong with those words until another kid said something. I turned out to be a fine, upstanding citizen. Go figure.
383. Marie said:
Ha! This story reminds me of the damn man who got some damn water from the damn.
384. Anonymous said:
In response to effer (#369) --
I respectfully disagree that context is unimportant. While I find sex in the privacy of my own home to be enjoyable, I wouldn't necessarily want to engage in that enjoyable behavior in the middle of the furniture store. Not because sex is immoral, but because there is a time and place for it. Teaching children to evaluate the appropriateness of their actions with respect to their surroundings is excellent parenting.
I cannot respond to the arse kissing comment; I don't understand what that was about at all.
385. Sarah said:
I'm reminded of a conversation at costco betwixt my three year old cousin and my Aunt that went:
Alex: Grandma, my brother said a bad word.
Grandma: Alexander, no he did not.
Alex: Grandma, yes he did. He said "FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!"
386. Brea said:
During a recent family vacation, my 11-year old nephew from Brooklyn announced, "I don't consider shit a cuss word."
Nice.
387. Anonymous said:
Oh My God the Hell. All the damn people up on their high horses bemoaning how society is going to hell in a handbasket because "kids today" have no respect and are being "taught" to swear...sheesh. My uncle's first complete sentence, in 1951, was "Son of a Bitch". They're little sponges, they just picks up on it. Leta acted out and was DISCIPLINED for inappropriate BEHAVIOR. I don't think Jon and Heather are in Leta's room with swear-word flashcards actively teaching her to swear, people. It must be very difficult for you to have to deal with the less perfect parents among you. Thank Goodness we have you morally superior, self-righteous people to show us the way.
388. NorthGaGal said:
Don't know how much of this is to be believed, but if some of these people on here take it as truth.. I would suggest taking the kid back into the store and making her apologize to all of the people in the store.. then for the "damn" remark I would go and wash her mouth out with soap... and tell her they are grown up words... and not to use them and enforce that.. otherwise you are in for a long long hellish road of a little kid who thinks she is one of the grown ups..
imho.
ngg
389. Rectory Entrance said:
After I read your post, I immediately tackled my boyfriend shouting "OH MY GOD THE HEEEELLLLLLLL I NEED YOUR TEETH FOR THE FEDERAL RESERVE"
390. Jennifer said:
The comments section has proven what an uptight society we really are. My gosh, people, lighten up. Stop being so damned judgemental and go scuttle back to your chicken coop where all of the good little trolls hide.
391. missie said:
I have a 16yo and a 2yo. When the 16yo was 2 he was trying to climb up on a bed at a friends house. After a few minutes he got frustrated, put his hands on his hips and said "FUCK". After I stopped laughing I asked him if he needed help getting on the bed. I don't recall him ever saying it again-until he became a teenager. I didn't let him see my reaction and I didn't make a big deal out of it. I did however say something to my dad because that is where he got it from. My dad had a talk with him about "Poppa's mad words" and it was never a problem again.
When my 2yo was about 18mths I walked out the door one morning to realize that the car seat was still in my husband's car. I was already running late and now I had to change over the car seat. I dropped my bags on the ground and said "Crap". While I was changing the car seat he marched around the car singing "crap,crap,crap...." Once again I laughed but didn't make a big deal out of it. So far he hasn't said it, or anything else again.
Most of the time it's all about how you react when you are dealing with toddlers and preschoolers. And as far as understanding inside and outside words, my 2yo understands inside and outside voices, why can't a 4yo understand inside and outside words?
392. Kara said:
Have any of you ever thought that perhaps the last sentence from the first anecdote was said a little bit tongue in cheek? Honestly people...way to be a bunch of tight-asses.
One time in elementary school, I got in major trouble because I used to read Mad Magazine a bunch and they used copious amounts of foul language. So one day when I called some kid a "schmuck", the teacher called my parents. They are fine, upstanding citizens who have raised two very intelligent and respectful children, and you can bet they laughed their damn asses off before I got home.
393. Michelle said:
They're sponges, I tell you.
My oldest son (he's 5) was annoying the crap out of my middle son (he's 3) when we were at a family reunion, waiting in a restaurant lobby to eat dinner. My younger son, who is rather calm, kept saying, stop. Please stop. I said stop. You're not listennniiinnnng.
Then, he decides to yell, at the top of his lungs, "Fucking stop!" The room went dead and everyone looked at me. I just continued to stare at my husband and we both did the, "Whose kid is that?"
394. Bubbles said:
I always wanted kids, but Leta is what pushed me over the edge. Now we're waiting for our little bundle of joy to start talking.
Her grandmother was over, trying to help put up mini-blinds, unsuccessfully, and was psuedo cursing "Crudsucker! Piece of crud! Now, Hero, don't talk like this." She wasn't amused when I chimed in with "Yeah, your grandma is lousy at cursing." Muahahaha...
395. Mimi said:
That's the way to do it I say! When, where and who your audience is are all conditions to be met! I did that with my first two and will do it with my last! Let me know if you hear of a support group for those of us that do this, eh?
396. jen said:
My son, now 13, did not have the cursing at home rule. However, on long car trips when he would get particularly restless, I would offer him a 60 second free-for-all of cursing. This tradition carried on for years, and his friends would look forward to taking road trips with our family (hey - what their parent's don't know...). The tradition was abruptly ended when, on a long drive through Texas, son's friend forgot the free-for-all was long past and hollered, "where's my fucking steak?" at our dinner in Amarillo. I've never had so many parents turn toward me simultaneously and glare. Thankfully, the kid bailed me out by looking at one of them and saying, "hey - she's not my damn mom, stop looking at her."
397. berit said:
i could hear the pride dripping from your fingertips as you typed...
398. diana said:
Hi Wondrous Being of Light and Splendor(Heather),
dropped by via Holly. I thought I was a fruitcake but I know better now. Fun all of this.
399. Lisa said:
That was totally hilarious! I laughed out loud!
400. Michelle said:
My 3 year old daughter was riding her tricycle at preschool one day and a boy on another tricycle cut her off. Her response: "You have GOT to be fucking kidding me." I'm so proud.
401. Rachie said:
Aw, I think that's adorable! The trembling lip thing when she knows she's in trouble. So cute!
402. Anonymous said:
OH Dooce, I don't know how you put up with all these self righteous people every day.... your poor tantrum throwing child...if she were only perfect your blog would read everyday...
Dear Internet,
Leta was a good girl today. She blah blah blah blah... yea we want to read about that... thanks for keeping it real with your own touch. Most of us love you. :)
403. Gina said:
Heather, Thank you for this post and many (all) others. My husband and I made a pact to swear as much as possible while I was pregnant and to stop when the baby came. Well it's been 5 months and we haven't stopped, and I wasn't sure how we were going to handle the whole swear thing (yeah, I'm jumping the gun), but the, "Leta, we told you never to use those words outside of the house, remember?" is so SMART. And it must come in handy for other things too; nose picking is the first thing that comes to mind. You are doing such a good job of raising your little human, you have impressed me many times with your understanding and humor. Thanks again.
404. Stacey said:
My new favourite saying will be OH MY GOD THE HEEEELLLLLLLL!
Almost tops my two year old niece asking her (very religious) grandmother "where's my f@#king dummy?"
405. Krista said:
What is wrong with you that you would let your 4-year old use that kind of language anywhere, let alone making a distinction between inside and outside the house? When she starts using those words at school, I am sure it won't bring nostalgic tears to anyone's eyes when her little butt is sitting by you all the time because she gets sent home for using language like that. I would totally be ticked if your child taught my child those words. Kids don't have control over what they are taught and who teaches them; shame on you for being the adult who should have controlled herself so that your daughter doesn't have to use adult judgments as to whether or not a location is suitable for using certain words.
406. MB said:
Awesome. Double standards need to start young.
407. Anonymous said:
Really?
And I am directing this to the commenters.
I dunno if Heather is a brilliant mother, but she is really no different for me or anyone else I know who is parenting a young child.
First of all, cussing is not unravelling society.
Second of all, little kids cussing actually IS really funny, unless they are using the words correctly and directing them at another person.
Third of all, even a 4 yesr old can distinguish environment as it relates to his or her behavior. Many MANY kids behave one way at school and another way at home, based on thee expectations set there. Many behave one way at mommy's and one way at Daady's. Ditto their parents house and their grandparents ouse.
My son knew, as young as 3 that whipping out his penis was NOT ok in public, but was more than acceptable in the privacy of his room or the bathroom. In spite of this contradiction, he has yet to whip it out in public.
Finally, My 7 year old has been listening to Greenday since.. well, BIRTH. He has never cussed out in public.
I don't think mean little kids who "cuss you out" are cute either. But Leta is hardly on her way to Juvie.
So again I ask.. really? and to those parents who's household was perfect and structured and not at all chaotic, who's kids neevr did anything horrifying in public and who NEVER did something in terms of their parenting style that went against the norm because it was YOUR FAMILY... stay the hell away form me. I can't relate.
408. Treat said:
Kids should have enough respect not to swear in front of their parents, no matter what age they are. You should really teach your daughter that. From what I've read though, you don't really have control of her. She rules the roost and she knows it. Four years old and still has on-the-floor tantrums. I'd be afraid. Very afraid.
409. Amy said:
I read your blog so that when the time comes, I will want to have kids rather than being too scared per chance of screwing them up. Thank you.
410. Stef said:
Wow, this one warranted two comments from me :)
I don't have kids of my own yet, but I've been around them enough to know that they know damn well what they're doing. Two-year-olds know what they can get away with at grandma's house vs what they can get away with at home. It's not a double-standard, it's LIFE. In real life, acceptable behavior is determined by your surroundings. You want an adult example? You can yell, scream, and act like a maniac at a football game, but don't try it at the DMV.
Besides, sheltering your children doesn't do them any good in the long run. I was in a convenience store one day when someone informed me that my car had just been hit. I yelled, "Shit!" and a parent berated me because her daughter was present. (Granted I probably would have tried to tone it down if I had known the kid was there, but I didn't.) I made sure to slip in a few more loud obscenities on my way out the door, because I was pissed off and because I could. If the parent and/or child were that offended, the parent should have simply explained, "We don't say those kinds of words, even if other adults do." It's much more effective than telling other adults how to live their lives.
411. Anonymous said:
I am not understanding how this is cute one little bit. Cursing is so...trashy to me...It bothers me when other kids cuss in front of my daughter. I think it shows a lack of respect for others to be honest. And I have never disliked one of your posts :( I guess I am no to hard to rattle but this was the first one that did!
412. Maria said:
We have a swearing at bedtime rule for my 4 and 6 year old daughters. It works great, and they never use those words except at bedtime. If my husband or I swear they say, "it's not bedtime!" they can definitely differentiate between inside outside words. Oh, we started the bedtime words because my four year old (when she was three before bedtime words) walked up to a group of people (including me) and announced, "THIS IS A GREAT FUCKING PARTY!
413. alfredsmom said:
Good work!
I so so want to have the courage to discipline my child out in pubic, but I get all fearful of judgement. But whats worse? Your child acting up and doing nothing, or doing something? Thanks for sharing your story.
414. Jules said:
My boundaries were really tested by this post. I thank you for that. I definitely have a new outlook on this subject and I have to say that I agree with your stand on this.
415. menokissass said:
I dare Heather to post a false story about something that she did that was truly horrific and see how many people pat her on the back. I know it would happen. You people are too much. Really--get lives already. Swearing kids suck. By allowing kids to do it, you are opening the floodgates of a lifetime of disrespect. It's the little things that really add up in parenting.
416. Talon said:
Yes please publish the hate mail from this post!!
*kisses middle finger sweetly to #225*
When my daughter was two, and I was big into Gundam Wing (one of the most awesomeest animes EVAR) I taught her to say "Stalker-bitch Relena."
I also taught her to name all the Gundam boys and their Gundams in order, but that's not nearly as amusing.
417. Sweet Herald said:
I don't think you're a bad parent by any means, but you do have to be careful because you can confuse the living hell out of kids if you're not careful. For my five year old little boy, I have gone through a list of "bad" words, some he had never heard of, but inevitably will from television, or from Mama inside the car in downtown traffic, or hell even a fucker on the street will be cussing on his cell phone. I'm not going to deny the words are out there, and that I too sometimes use them. No need to shelter him. However, he knows these are words that belong on naughty word/adult list, and he is not allowed to use without permission. I have never given him permission, and he's never asked. Snort!
But, shit man, it seems to work.
418. Dee said:
My kids both know they aren't allowed to cuss, even though I occasionally let a cuss word slip out. However, my 12 year old son decided recently to try pronouncing f*** and sh** like the Irish do, with a charming lucky charms lilt. No more Irish movies! I informed him I would not accept mispronunciations of bad words either, he could bet his arse on that....
419. Talon said:
Oh, and to all the morons who think that a four year old can't understand inside words and outside words...um...excuse me? We teach our children about inside and outside voices.
How the fucking FUCK is that so different??
Jesus christ people...get a fucking hobby!!!
420. LoriM said:
When my now eight-year-old son, Elliott (who's favorite cuss word is "shit," by the way) was three, he was OBSESSED with construction toys. Unfortunately, he had a few issues with pronouncing the letters "T" and "F". So -- we'd be cruising down the highway, beltway, pathway, walkway and fairway and every single time he saw a construction truck, he would belt out, "Mommy, look at the BIG FUCK, look at the BIG FUCK!!"
It gets worse. He also had "issues" with the letters "D" and "N". His favorite construction fuck -- I mean, truck -- was a digger. One day, while perusing the construction toys at Target, he honed in on a big, yellow digger. But instead of repeatedly asking, "Mommy, can I please get the digger?" he inserted an "n" for the "d."
I'm so not kidding.
I have never been so mortified in my entire life.
For days, we did nothing but practice saying "digger."
To this day, whenever I think about it, all I can say is, oy fucking vey.
421. LoriM said:
That should read, "whose favorite cuss word is shit..." -- not "who's."
Sorry, I'm fanatical about grammar lapses.
422. Mark Dodge Medlin said:
I was going to point out that they're Froot Loops, not Fruit Loops, but I decided against it. Didn't want to get lumped in with grammar cops like #421, who might as well bail out the
Great Salt Lake with a thimble as try to keep people from mixing up "who's" and "whose."
423. Katie said:
That tops the list of fricking funniest anecdotes ever. I almost peed laughing.
I try not to swear or use 'god' or 'JC' in front of my kids, but honest to GAWD, 'Cheese and Rice' just doesn't have the same passion as a good wholesome JeezusChrist yelled at the top of your lungs.
424. cc said:
I am beginning to hate reading the phrase, "Shame on you...[insert act here]." Used to think it was cute (when used with sarcasm.) Didn't realize some people actually used it for real!
OMGTH! You got yourself some self-righteous people 'round here.
Must be the same folks who got angry with your political post.
425. Sweet Herald said:
Your daily photo thumbnail...ummmm...hehehe.
426. Melissa said:
Delurking to comment.
To those of you wondering aloud why kids have no respect these days and then instantaneously deeming curse words the root of this disrespect, you need to get out more.
In my experience working with abused kids previously and as a counselor currently, I say the kids I have known who have no respect are the ones whose parents never show them any form of discipline, never teach them guidelines, or rules. Obviously Heather demonstrated with her post that actions have consequences and there are guidelines and rules to follow for acceptable behavior.
You think kids can't differentiate about where and when to use that sort of language? Well, no, they probably don't right away, but if the parents are consistent, immediate with discipline, and actually TALK to their kids, their kids can learn. The problem these days is that parents don't take the time to communicate with their kids and aren't consistent when they do. THAT'S more why there are disrespectful kids.
I applaud the fact that Heather gave more than a finger wag at Leta and furthermore explained why she was disciplined!
427. ksue said:
Love the name (though I was rooting for Fargo just knowing how affected that can sound, being from Minnesota doncha know!)!
Had a little detour thanks to your Daily Chuck.
Not sure if you found the Motown Video from '83? That's where "the internet" says he first performed the Moonwalk for a live television audience.
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn4ihRCJEzA
Enjoy!
428. Nicole said:
If I have a child I know she will be just like Leta and I will be just like you. Sometimes it's like you rip thoughts out of my brain and post them on your blog. By the way I want those Michael Jackson sunglasses! Rock on Heather!
429. Kathy said:
This cracked me up so bad I had to tell all of my friends to read it. I almost peed myself picturing Leta on the floor "Oh the Hell!" hahahahahah
The people who have commented negatively toward this obviously have no sense of humor and think they are perfect. Big deal... it's WORDS--- I'll bet if you followed them around all day they have ACTIONS that speak much louder and way worse.
OH THE HELLLLLLLLLLL = my new saying.
430. Denise said:
Those kids DO listen to what you're saying after all!!!
431. Andrea said:
This totally crakced me up. My husband and I have been having a little tug ot war on this issue. I think its fine to have words our 3 year old can say only at home where as he thinks he should never say them b/c he may slip-up in front of someone who would not find the humor in it as we do. My dad always says there is a time and a place to use fowl language (which aparrently is all the time and every where for him).
We are also debating whether "douche bag" is actually a bad word. As in "you are such a douche bag." I think its fine because its an actual thing but my husband says no way.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
432. JB said:
One question. Was "there" said in her best southern voice?
If so, that thar was a damn good post!
I loved it!
433. Shelly said:
Ok, Heather. Although I have read your blog for a while, I did not want to join the ranks of those who post and make gratuitous ass-kissing an art form BUT I have to say that I 've finally come to the conclusion that we were separated at birth (especially based on your last few posts). Itsy Bitsy Spider? Not a chance! Lately we've had Arcade Fire, Muse, and of course I CANNOT stop listening to "In Rainbows." Thank you for posting the "Nude" video and turning me on to that one. Now I can stop listening to "15 Step" 10,000 times a day. Also, I have a hilarious video of my son listening to MIA's "Paper Planes." I'm sure you've heard that one, right? That definitely puts me above you to win "The Worst Mother of the Year" award---hah! Anyhow, keep writing and have you guys considered a road trip to Denver? I think Leta and Atticus would get along fabulously!
434. David M said:
"Inside rules" and "outside rules"? Sounds like the foundation of a very confusing world view. Sorry. I love the dooce, but I question the thinking sometimes.
435. Vikki said:
One particularly crabby morning, my daughter (who is 3) was sitting down at the table to have breakfast with her brother (who was 6 at the time) and said in a tone that suggested she had the weight of the world on her shoulds,"God...I hate these damn chairs." He looked at her, nodded and simply said, "Yep."
436. EM said:
Your posts make me smile...for that, THANK YOU!
437. Lori M said:
# 422 -- Mark Dodge Medlin
Jumpy, much?
I understand. Bottom feeders are like that.
438. Elizabeth said:
Ohmigod -- WHERE is that child picking up that LANGUAGE?
439. Fishing Around said:
You've got a funny kid there.
441. Friend said:
This post confused me......
442. Christy said:
#321...Emily...love you.
443. Adubs said:
Just looked at the pic of you in the new blouse. Yep, you still got it, Heather.
444. LindzML said:
I live in the house that my grandmother grew up in and one day when I was 4 I was gardening with my mother. I asked her what a huge pewter pot was doing in our garden. She told me it was the "dammit pot". Apparently my great-grandmother ran into the huge pot (it was used to heat the wash water) and burned her hand. It surprised her so much she said her first word, "Dammit!". It was what she'd always heard the women saying who were washing clothes.
I fell on it a year later and cut my cheek open. Apparently I told my mom through the tears that the "damn dammit pot scratched the hell out of me".
All that to say: No worries, it happens to the best of us.
445. Anonymous said:
The tsk tskers are making me laugh.
When my brother and I were little he told on me for saying Fuck. When my mother grilled me regarding his horrifying accusation, she kept on asking me if I used the F word, which I kept denying, which apparently she wasnt satisfied with, so she kept repeating, DID YOU SAY THE F WORD TO YOUR BROTHER, like 5 times. I kept denying.
I was finally getting fed up with being grilled so I said, I did say the F WORD Mom, I said Fuck! To which she almost fell over laughing.