Nice story, good brother. But mainly I wanted to tell you that I saw your friend Maggie in the Times yesterday and thought hey, I know her! Looks like a nice apartment.

My Aunt and Uncle had a Condo in Downtown Seattle, that was a couple blocks away from Pike Place Market. You would always pass at least 5-10 homeless people on your way to The Market. I was told at an early age, not to give them any moeny-because they would only spend it on booze. Instead, buy some Apples, and give them an apple. That way, you know that they were eating something healthy-and also, the Apple was so healthy, it might kill them. That was my Uncle's dry sense of humor. I have purchased McDonalds Meal for homeless people before as well. At least I know they are eating.
Thank you for your story. It sounds like you were raised with a very cool older brother.

Your sister's name is September? And your brother is named Ranger? Did your parents run out of unique when you were born or did they just stop smoking pot?

Maybe it's a good thing :)

That story struck such a chord with me. I was off to yoga class last week and saw a man with his cap out at an intersection. I see him on Sundays regularly I think because traffic is heavier since there's a huge church in the area. He always looks so hopeful and has the sweetest smile. I smiled and shook my head. He smiled back, bowed a bit and went up the line. I changed my mind and called to him but he couldn't hear me and the light changed. But I kept thinking about him and wondering. On my way back I looked for him so I could give him something but no luck. So here's hoping I see him again this Sunday! There'll be no hesitation.
Thanks for a good story.

I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing that story. I so needed to hear that today. Your brother sounds like an amazing person. It's funny that you say you were taught to ignore those people...your parents must have done something right along the way.

And don't you love how cynical people are, assuming your story was about trying to trap them or making a political statement and instead it was just a touching story about charity.

I knew I liked you for a reason. The way you put yourself out there is amazing. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts on your question. A beautiful reason to be so generous and giving to those who have less. I am certain that in writing this, you have changed the perspective for some and more people will be less hungry tonight because of your post. You're awesome.

Your story is so beautiful -- your love for your brother, and his compassion. But when I read "You'll never know, man -- you'll never know" it moved me to instant tears.

That is the thing, isn't it? We never will know how our actions today can reverberate in someone's life for a long time, even for ever. There have been times in my life when a stranger's kindness has made all the difference -- a warm smile, a brief connection, that lifted me from despair.

Here is a thought for all of those people who think giving money to a crack addict to buy crack or an alcoholic to by alcohol -- something an AA sponsor said to me many years ago: The most normal thing I ever did was drink to ease my pain.

Addiction is a disease, and while destructive, the practicing addict's medicine is their drug of choice. Enabling? Perhaps -- but whether your money is used on crack or food, you are helping to keep an addict alive until they can begin to heal. You are demonstrating to them that their is love and compassion in the world, that they are worth caring about -- that life is in fact worth living. The alcoholic may use your money to buy cheap wine, but it may also be your kindness that ultimately gives them the strength to get sober.

Kindness is never, ever wasted.

Beautiful story.

That is a nice story. Your brother seems like a genuine guy. Do I do what he does? NOPE. I work for the government you see. I work in social programs - all freakin day. I see the abuse of the system by the zillions who sit on their as*es all day, yap on their cell phones (always new ones), lug babies on both hips and buy Tommy Jeans. Yet they go to the Emergency Room to have a pregnancy test because they "can't afford to buy a kit". DUH
I hate give-a-ways. I believe in people getting off their as*es and getting a job. If that man can STAND out there in all kinds of weather, he is capable of STANDING at McDonalds. The problem with these people is that they want easy jobs making 50 grand a year for an entry level job. No one wants to work for minimum wage. And why should they? They have a government who GIVES them everything and allows them to spend their time begging. It's never their fault. Always someone else's. Feed the homeless animals who can't get jobs - let the humans actually have to lift a finger and better themselves.

i'm sure this will be one of many stories that other people have shared. but when i was about 15 i went with my father to paris to celebrate my birthday -- that in itself says enough about how lucky i have been in my life. we were eating lunch a little shop and there was a homeless man across the street with a sign up that said (in french of course): "blind, please spare some change." i had had some spending cash my dad had given me, so after the lunch i walked over to him and dropped like, 10 francs into his cup. and my dad was kind of shocked he was like, emilie, that's 10 francs! that's a lot. and i said something to the effect of, that's like 6 american dollars, and he obviously needs it a lot more than i do. to this day, my father still remembers that and doesn't let me forget it, because he tells me everytime i do anything remotely selfless to remind me to stay that way. cheesy, i know, but it's a good story to hear about yourself when you want to be inspired to keep doing good for others.

thank you for sharing your story, it was even more inspiring.

Awesome story Heather! Your brother seems like a really fantastic guy!

My gut reaction, even when I'm flat broke myself, is to hand over anything in my pockets to anyone who asks.

My dear friend's dad was homeless and mentally ill, and before I knew this about her, I handed a $10 bill to a homeless guy on the corner. She choked up and thanked me, and then told me that her dad was homeless, and it really bothers her when people pass by and don't even look at the homeless guys.

Even if I don't have any change, I make eye contact and give people a sincere smile. Just acknowledging that they're people too, helps me feel better.

I have acquaintences who have berated me in the past for handing over money to people I don't know. That is a dealbreaker for me - if you don't have enough compassion to understand why I choose to give them a tiny bit of money, you aren't worthy of my friendship.

Amen, sister. Your brother is awesome, and so are you.

I live in Africa and find this whole thing fascinating. Americans have a very interesting way of viewing poverty and what it means to contribute towards it's solution. Thanks for making my day more fascinating and interesting!

Much like you I had such an influence - My Mother - who, even though we didn't have much went out of her way to make a difference in someone else's life. I try to emulate her as much as I can.

Last month I was in D.C. for a conference and before I left decided to walk around the city before heading back to the airport. I walked past several seemingly homeless people but one in particular tugged at my heart. I had stopped at a popular sandwich shop that's unavailable in my hometown of Atlanta and grabbed a few for the trip home. Something told me to share my treat with this homeless man in line at hot-dog cart. I walked past him, turned around and headed back, but by then he had moved to the front of the line and was about to order. At that point I stopped and continued on my way out of town.

I don't know why I didn't go with my gut and get to him before he ordered but the fact that I didn't still gnaws at me today.

If more of us responded like your brother and my mother the world would be a much better place.

Thanks for sharing.

BTW, I've got a 55-month-old. Boy are they interesting!

I never comment on here, but this post was wonderful. It struck me especially since this past Sunday our pastor was talking about the very same thing. Your brother sounds like a remarkable person. I am sure what you said here means a lot to him.

Dude probably DID have change for a twenty, you dummy. Duh. Nevertheless, I've given money to people I was 99% positive were telling me a line of bull. It's only money.

Two years ago, I get to an ATM and I see a card still in the slot, and the machine asking if I want another transaction (the person who coded that ATM's software should be shot). And I couldn't resist. I said yes, and I withdrew $60 from the person's account. Why? I don't know. I didn't need the money, but I felt like doing it because I could I guess. Anyway, as soon as the money came out, I felt awful. I hit no when it asked again, left the card on the counter (wasn't a debit, only an ATM card) and left.

I didn't sleep very well that night. The next morning, it was about 5 degrees with a wind chill below zero. I was walking my usual route to work, and I passed a homeless guy who has been there every day for the 6 years I've been working at my current location. I always thought to myself, why can't this guy get a job. At least he is dependable (I think I can count on one hand the times he hasn't been there).

Well, I hope he used that $60 for a warm place to sleep that night.

To #617 - not all homeless people are out there b/c they are too lazy to get off their asses. In fact, it's quite difficult to get a job when you don't have an address. Not even McDonald's will hire you when you can't give them a mailing address. And to my knowledge, you're not allowed to use a homeless shelter as your address. Sort of a catch-22, don't you think?

Also, I feel like it's usually pretty easy to tell which people are, in fact, needy and which ones are just looking for an easy handout. If you're asking me for money and your clothes are in better shape than mine and you have a manicure, then no, I will not help. But if you seem truly desperate, and I believe there is a way of knowing when someone is, then yes, I will.

As many times as I have given money to someone begging, just as many times I haven't. Sometimes I feel like I made the right choice, and sometimes I regret my decision.

oh my. i thought you were going to tell us that your brother was a crack addict.

but, alas...no, he's just cool.

and while i didn't voice my opinion earlier...i tend to err on the side of hope too...any one of us could take a step off the edge for any number of reasons and end up needing help from kind strangers. who knows how they got to that place - even the crack addicts didn't start out crack addicts.

I hope the assholes who accused you of trying to push some liberal agenda feel like dicks now.

Great story! My parents taught me to give my time for good causes by giving me an allowance while I volunteered at a hospital instead of working while I was in high school. I found out about giving money later on.

My friends and I used to think we were hot shit in high school when we would take the bus down from our neighborhood to the big university's campus. Around that time we developed a policy of just emptying our pockets out to whoever asked us for change (only around this part of town did we ever encounter panhandling). I think I can honestly point to this as coming out of the good work done by the Catholic schools we were usually skipping out on at the time.

Anyway, that died a while ago, as I started living in cities where I'm asked for change several times a day. A) I got lazy, B) I got more afraid of stopping to open a wallet, especially after getting held up around here recently, and the latest, C) is that I have an alcoholic brother. Just this summer my family has finally confronted the decades of open-handedness that have fed both our savior complexes and his habit. Only when we finally sought help for ourselves (we'll see if it ever helps him), and heard that if we want him to get better--or just stop making our lives miserable with worry (evictions, lost jobs)--we have to refuse him money. No money, no gas for his car, no cigarettes, no free meals. We have enabled him his whole life, and it's been an amazing journey to see that before we can ever hope of helping him we have to cure our own addiction of believing that we can show our love through open pockets.

Now, I know that a family member is not a stranger; that the personal is not always the social, but I look at my neighbors sitting in their usual spots asking for change and see my brother, and his possible future if we finally get the strength to really cut him off. And I feel torn about giving them money, when I know it's finally time to stop giving it to my brother. But you know, maybe it's different with families and addiction. Maybe I'd be glad to know some stranger who he'll never see again and who he can't rely on to love him like we do will throw him a buck when he's still deciding whether or not to take step one and admit that his life is out of control. He still deserves to eat in the interim.

I can count on 1 hand the number of times I have given money. I'm struggling myself, I don't have any to give. Yet, the other day while waiting at a red, in 100+ temperatures (So. Cal) and old man just tugged at my heart. He was hunched over and when he walked, it was obvious he had some type of disability. I reached in my pocket, handed him everything I had as I drove by. It felt good to help him.

I live in Seattle too, and work downtown. There are many homeless here. Matter of fact there's a park my bus drives my that seems like the local homeless hotel in the mornings. It warms my heart to see them there, because that means nobody gives them too hard a time for doing what they need to. They have to sleep, don't they?

Anyway, I had a friend visiting and while I was at work she was walking around downtown. In front of her she saw a well dressed young man give a homeless man some money. Then the young man grabbed the guy and hugged him.

My friend said that was the nicest thing she had ever seen. It made her cry, and I nearly cried when she told me. That gave me the warm and fuzzies like nothing had in a long time.

It is important for most people to know someone cares. Even if its a random man passing you on the street. I don't know many people who would give a homeless person a hug like that but i love that that young man did. I wish I knew him.

I too get the impulses to give to them. But I rarely have cash money to give. I know though, that the horrible feeling I get in my stomach would feel better if I did give. I'm going to start carrying a few dollars in my pocket for just such instances.

Thanks Dooce for your timely and heart warming post.

I know that with all the comments made to you every day it is impossible to read them all, I am sure. So this may be falling on deaf ears!?
But with that being said I honestly think that we are prompted to do certain things in life. Guided.
It is so important that this life not about selfishness. It is about setting an example of love for others. Regardless of the situation.
I have a friend that is unbelievably charitable. One day we went on a day trip to shop in AZ. We live in CA. It is a place called Last Chance. I suggest that is you are ever in AZ you should go there. Sidebar. Anyway, on our way home we stopped off at a fast food restaurant. I saw a man that was digging through the trash. I really felt impressed to go and get him something to eat. So I didn't say anything and walked up to the counter and order two meals and delivered one to the man outside. I am not tooting my own horn. I just felt like even though in my church we are asked to do so much service, that it is the other people of the world that we forget. On our drive home she commented that it had never occurred to her to feed the homeless, disheveled man outside of the fast food joint. She and I talked about charity.It never occurred to me that it was that big of a deal. I have grown up in a family that does this sort of thing all the time.
My thoughts on this are that more people of today would be less angry, less selfish, and less preoccupied by the material possessions by giving service to others. We all my be 20 bucks away from where ever that man was one day.

I lived in the San Francisco area most of my life and moved to Southern California about 15 years ago. In SF, there were at least 5 people on each block as I walked to work. Some of them were violent when you passed by. Here in So Cal, where the weather is warm most of the year, it is a haven for "homeless" people, and there are more on the streets all the time.

I do have a problem with the word "homeless" being a catchall phrase for everyone who is on the street. I see many young kids, young travelers, who don't want to work and just want to party and they make no bones about why they're begging. I never give to them. There are also homeless people who really are "down on their luck" (especially in a town as expensive as where I live) and they've lost their jobs or homes or both. They're temporarily homeless, hopefully, and there are programs and housing that they can use until they get themselves back on their feet. I don't think these are the people I'm seeing on the streets. Finally, there are the "homeless" that are truly destitute. I believe many of these people are mentally ill. They're not down on their luck, they're not choosing to party. They're just ver ill, and can't take care of themselves and can't take their meds on their own. This is what really bothers me the most, and I think the way we treat (or don't treat) the mentally ill in this nation is despicable. We allow them to be on the streets, supposedly because they "want" to be and should have freedom of choice. I consider myself to be a left wing, progressive, liberal woman, but I don't understand this as freedom. Not when I see men and women who are filthy, cold, hungry, and so often bruised and battered. Especially the women. We, as a society, have failed these people.

I give money sometimes; I don't others. It's a constant ache and dilemma for me. I give food mostly. But, I've had people get upset that I'm giving them money and not food.

Sometimes I just close my eyes to it; I get overwhelmed.

I'm #617 - and don't give me this story about in order for McDonald's to hire you, you have to have an address. HOW DID THEY GET TO BE HOMELESS IN THE FIRST PLACE? Before things got so dire, perhaps they should have gotten a second job. I am sick and tired of the socialism mentality. We are NOT all equal. We do not ALL get up and go to work and work hard (sometimes 2 jobs - yes, I've worked those two jobs when I needed to). No, we get hit once with a roadblock or a stepping stone and then we crumble. We collect our unemployment for the max months we possibly can and THEN we lose our apartment or home and THEN we beg. We put ourselves in these situations way too often. As a country, we are used to everyone taking care of us. The taxpayers will take care of us. They contribute to these social programs that will give us a place to sleep and food to eat. Where is the incentive to better yourself if everything is given to you?

Life's a bi*ch. Deal with it. Go work for what you want BEFORE it's all taken away from you. I don't work to feed any human but my family. Now do I stop and give dog and cat food to animals who are homeless? You betcha. Whoever saw a dog or cat working for a living? Do I volunteer my time at local Humane Societies and pounds? You betcha. Animals are more deserving. People by far, suck, as a rule. We are a nation of lazy slobs who think everyone owes us something. JMO.

Thank you. Your story gave me chills and reminded me why we are lucky to be humans - so we can care for each other in this way. Thank you for sharing this story about your brother. It reminds me of the good in humanity.

This post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it and making me realize how selfish I have been in the past.

I thought you were brave to ask the question. I've got too thin a skin to open myself up in that way on my blog. But maybe I should. Maybe I'll just do a Dooce, and go for it.

But on this topic, I agree with you. I give money to street people because I want to give them the money. What they do with it is their business, not mine.

Oh the wonderful things I learned how to do from my 3 older brothers:
1. How to successfully do a Bo and Luke Duke dive into a open window of a car.
2. How to do a brodie (which I still will not do in any car I own)
3. How to properly flick someone's ear that will bring them to their knees in tears.

I'm glad you learned something that is useful in life and you can make better judgments from day to day.
I mean, yes, it's handy to be able to be able to flick my children in the ear when they start backtalking...don't get me wrong.

I totally agree.

I have to admit I was nervous at first that your story would be about your brother becoming an addict when he got home from college and like then having to panhandle and then you run into him one day oustide of a Shop Rite and he's unrecognizable and holding up one of those cardboard signs, etc. I'm glad he's still around and doing well.

I was hanging out in Berkeley with my best friend one day, and as we were walking down University we saw a guy playing the guitar with an open case in front of him. People were throwing money in, and at first glance I saw nothing special. This is a very common sight at mid-day on University... Well, when we got closer I read the sign that he had propped up next to him.

"Screw food-I need drugs"

Or something along those lines.

The fact that he was being honest about what he wanted the money for, and that it was just so damn funny, made me throw in a dollar and give the guy a thumbs up. He smiled and nodded his thanks... No idea if he was going to use it for drugs or what, but the fact that he made me laugh was worth a measly dollar to an (at the time) unemployed twenty-something...

Furthermore... I spent quite a bit of time with the homeless of Eureka CA during the six-and-a-half years that I lived there. I know that those people drank, and some of them did drugs-but it never stopped me from giving them a buck when I had one to spare. They were good people who were down on their luck... There but for the grace of God, eh?

When I was 20 I lived in Cambridge, England and there were a handful of street kids living in the area as they have fairly lax squatting laws. I became friendly with one of the street kids and his dog "tobey" and on my way to and from work he used to say, "all right luv?"... I just always liked the way the exchange was both a statement and a fact. Anyways, it was clear that the kid had a drug problem, but who was I to judge.

So one day I was walking down the street and I kid you not, a 20 pound note came blowing down the street. I didn't have much money at the time and the whole thing was extremely karmic. So I hopped into the nearest pub and had a pint... as that is where my priorities were in those days. When I left the pub with 10 pounds in change (yes I drank 4 pints) I gave the remainder to Tobey's dad, to which he said "Thanks luv".

So the next couple of days, Tobey's dad was no where to be found and Tobey was MIA as well. I asked one of their pals if they had seen them and it turns out Tobey's dad OD'ed. I felt horrible and couldn't stop thinking that my generosity (perhaps drunkin' generosity) killed this young boy and left Tobey fatherless.

So long story short, now I think twice about giving money to homeless people. I give them change, but nothing that can kill them.

I would love to cultivate such a generous spirit. I have myself been in need, but never homeless or out begging on the sidewalk. I have a problem when I see someone who needs money or food, though. I cannot help you, I cannot help the next one and the next one. I look away because I cannot help you. I don't know what you need, and I don't know what the next person needs. I'm not a "buy this guy a sandwich and I've done my good deed for the day" sort of person. I feel bad because I can't help all of them.

The stories I'm reading make me feel horrible and selfish, but I can't help but think people need a good story, that beggar needs to feed them some kind of line that really pumps them. The next one, the one who doesn't entertain them, gets nothing. I have a problem with that sort of system. Y'all seem to be picking the cute puppies to treat with your snacks and let the rest.... I mean once you give a dollar or a sandwich to the first homeless person you see, how do you face the next ones with nothing to give? I want to be generous, but I don't see any way to go about it that doesn't overlook all the people who are too tired to do a little dance for you. If I've given to someone what I had, I can't be running around giving everyone sandwiches all day, so I have to look away and say I'm sorry I don't have any loose change for you.

That guy selling flowers probably still needs money today, or someone just like him, and nobody's taking care of that. Nobody's getting to the root of the problem and figuring out how to help people who have to resort to it.

Is your brother single?

A few years ago I had the pleasure of attending a panel discussion with homeless people as the guests. They came from all walks of life and all had different reasons for being homeless. I will never forget some advice that one of them gave that day and I try to apply it as often as I can.

One of the men said that he often spent money that was donated to him on alcohol, even if he was starving to death. He said that sometimes he would not have eaten for days at a time but that his addiction was so bad that he still bought the alcohol first. My (his) advice is this: if you know you are going to be in a situation where there might be people asking for donations, buy some coupons (they come in one dollar increments) to McDonalds and give that to the person instead. The man said that forcing him to eat was a better gift than the money itself.

I completely agree with Heather that I would donate no matter what, this was just a suggestion to those of you who were hesitant.

When I was a teenager I would walk to school every day and would take this shortcut through a strip shopping mall parking lot. There was a Dairy Queen on the corner where I would stop to get a coke for the walk home. During one fall I started noticing a man standing on the corner with a sign that said, “Will work for food.” He looked terrible, long hair, sunken eyes. I though for sure he was starving. One day I decided to pick up a burger and a drink for him. When I approached him with the bag of food, he slapped the bag out of my hand and yelled, “I don’t want that! Get away from me!” That affected me so much I’ve never offered a dime to anyone since.

I agree in many ways. But I also am really hesitant to give money. I've had to call the paramedics for a man passed out on the sidewalk. I thought he was dead at first. Anyway, I almost never have any cash (being a product of the credit generation) but I almost always have food in my bag for lunch. When people stop and ask me for money I say I can't give them any money but do they want this apple? Or this bagel? etc, etc. I have never once had any one turn me down.

One should never give a gift with strings attached.

Thanks. I almost never give money to beggers, but occasionally will give to someone who is doing something, even playing drums on an old bucket. Your story made me think about why I differentiate, and why I hold back so often.

That story touched me.

Probably someone has brought this up, but I can't look at all the comments -

I have also struggled with the cynical, too-busy, too-self-absorbed side of myself that doesn't want to give someone directly in need the benefit of a doubt. We in Dallas have also heard/read stories of people who aren't really in need at all, but use panhandling as an apparently lucrative way to make money. Or even "aggressive" panhandling, where it's almost assault. That knowledge or experience doesn't help us want to help. But, I always think it's better to give a person the benefit of a doubt. We all should remember, there but for the grace of God go I... and who knows, someday it could be any one of us out there relying on the kindness of strangers.

Good human, thanks for the reminder!
(((Heather)))

Bossy aligns with Ranger. And Bossy grew up in the middle of a large city, so there were examples of poverty/drug addiction/hard luck (whichever and all) on every corner.

But since Bossy is not funding anyone to go to rehab, (except maybe herself and man some days could she use it), how can Bossy hold anyone in judgment for using her money in whatever way makes that person feel, even temporarily, better?

amen, sister.
i'm right there with you 100%.

That is a beautiful story! I wish I could give to every poor person I see begging on the street, but if I did then I'd be the poor person begging on the street!

It saddens me to think things are so bad that we have to question our acts of charity as so many of us have said here. But, before we all go thinking that this is a new development, remember bad stuff has always been around. As long as there's been life on earth, certainly human life. That's what was so amazing about Jesus. He preached unconditional love and as others have said, giving without hesitation. If only we could all do this all the time. We can certainly try our best.

Heather,
Even though I don't always agree with you, I enjoy your writing-especially your parenting stories! Your blog brings a little joy to my day. Thank you,
Sarah

I live in an area where a considerable number of people asking for money aren't really homeless. They make more money panhandling than working, and it's tax free, so that's what they do. They're pretty honest about it and there have been several articles published in local papers. I've seen people on corners wearing shoes and jackets much nicer than I can afford. One time I saw a guy pull up on a really expensive motorcycle, receive a wad of cash from a woman WITH KIDS sitting on the corner holding a "stranded, please help" sign, and then take off. So no, I don't give cash.

We frequently donate to the local shelter (money, food, clothing, household goods, etc) because I want to give, but I want to know that it's going to people who need it.

We've offered food to people on the street. It's common to see people panhandling with their kids with them so sometimes we grab a couple of extra Happy Meals. I bought a guy a sandwich once. Another time a pizza place messed up our order and told us to keep the goofed one, so we gave that to somebody. Stuff like that. I've had people yell at me that they don't want food, they want MONEY. One time my Aunt saw a lady holding a "will work for food" sign and offered to hire her, intending to provide her with lunch and cash. Unfortunately the lady had a huge list of things she wouldn't do and then she got angry at my Aunt and told her she just wanted $5 and if she could afford to pay she should just give it.

I don't mean to rain on the parade. Your story is heartwarming and your brother is a generous soul - I wish there were more of him!! I just wanted to offer another take on the situation. Those of us who refuse to give cash aren't greedy, we have our reasons too.

That said, a guy clearly under-dressed standing in the snow? Heck yeah I'd give him a $20. Probably buy him a hot cup of coffee too.

When I was working for the senator, one of his aids and I had just went to a well attended event. It was a February night in the Midwest and bitterly cold, just like Heather explained.

We were walking back to the vehicle when we saw a guy that was worse for wear up ahead holding out a hat. The aid and I had a brief discussion about giving before we came to the man. He said he usually liked to give and I did too but all I had was a $20 on me. He said he had some large bills change and would give the guy some change.

We get to the guy and the aid throws some change in the hat. The guy said in a snarky way, "Is that all you got. Dressed up in your fancy clothes." The aid went back and grabbed a handful of whatever was in the hat. The aid said to the guy, "If you can't appreciate it, you don't need it." HA!

I was just so shocked that this very religious and friendly person would do that. The guy deserved it and I wished I would have had the guts to do it. I started walking faster but the aid didn't. I started laughing once we were in the car, but he was still irritated. He said he usually likes to give, but when someone doesn't appreciate it, it just makes him mad.

Excellent story, Heather, excellent. Yesterday, at Yom Kippur services, the Rabbi made an annual plea, as always, for donations by congregants to the shul. But this year, one of our staff members - someone who's not even Jewish - is near death and has no money. We, as a community, were asked to remember that although these are tough times on everyone, no one has it as difficult as she does. I was standing in the back at the time, leaving my husband to figure out our family's contribution on his own. And he pleasantly surprised me...he gave DOUBLE what we usually give. My husband's not the philanthropist some people are so the fact that he did this made me love him even the tiniest bit more - if that's even possible. And he said the same thing - she needs it more than we do. Anyway....great story that I could relate to today. Thanks.

Thank you very much for sharing that story. I have always tried to be charitable without judging, but sometimes you forget. Thanks for reminding me what a blessed life I have that I can even give to another human being.

To me -- it is a Christian challenge. I am one of the seemingly-invisible Christian Democrats -- my church is welcoming to everyone, regardless of race, sexual preference, etc. I say that because so many people think that being
Christian = kneejerk right-wing Republican, and that's not true at all!

Anyway, I used to not give at corners because of what "they" might do with it. I finally realized that Jesus had VERY SPECIFICALLY spoken to this exact situation. "Give to everyone who asks of you." "If someone tries to take your shirt, give him your coat as well." "Whatever you do for the least of these, you do it for me." Anyone who claims to be a follower of Jesus should never hesitate to give. It's what Jesus says to do.

So I carry cans of Vienna sausage, packets of crackers, containers of apple sauce, packets of chicken salad/crackers, along with dollar bills, and that's what I give at corners. Sometimes, if I'm on the way home from the grocery, I might give an apple or orange or a handful of strawberries. AND, I look them in the eye and say, "I hope things get better for you." These are human beings, children of God just like me. For me, being Christian, I see Jesus in anyone who asks of me. And I am living paycheck-to-paycheck, making it work, but this makes me much happier and I know I'm doing the right thing. Passing them by without looking at them ALWAYS felt awful.

I am really disappointed in myself. The first time I saw this post I skimmed and, essentially, ignored it. Tonight, bored off my ass ('cause the kids want to watch Deal or No Deal) I read it. I really wish I had read it sooner.

I was raised to help other people in any way that you can. I am trying to teach my boys the same thing. Of course, we don't run into many homeless people out here in The Oldest Summer Resort in America. But we do hike for breast cancer, we donate food to the pantry, my son held a lemonade stand for Alex's Lemonade....I just hope that they continue to help other people and teach their children the same way, no doubt, you are teaching Leta.

I love this story. Thank you so much for sharing it.

If you are so inclined, we would love a donation for our hike on Sunday. This year is so tight for everyone that we are about $1400 short of our personal fundraising goal. Simply go to www.firstgiving.com/hikingforacure

I dug my change out of my pocket to toss it into the guitar case of a musician as a freshman in college. I'd spent so long trying to dig out the change I knew I had on me, that he decided I needed it more than he did and offered to buy me lunch. I politely declined and said I was okay, just that was the only cash I had on me. but I'd never think to give a 20. That's like wow.

A while ago (last winter) I was going to go and deposit my husbands paycheck at about 6 am and was a bit leary as it was dark and there had recently been a mugging at the same bank. As I go in, there was a homeless man sleeping in there using the floor mat as a blanket. Oh was I scared, but I saw him get up and start cleaning up his area, putting the mat back and such while I was making a decent deposit into my hasn't been empty in a while account. The guy never said anything, but I gave him twenty bucks and said it was for breakfast. He simply said thanks and gave me a wonderful smile. I felt even worse after thinking that I should have given him more, or seen if he needed a job (as they are always hiring at my husbands work). At least I know he had the opportunity to get a morning coffee. I don't know why I just typed all this. I guess it was just that I relaly didn't need to be afraid.

I don't think there's ever any fault in being compassionate. This was so well-said, and I'm glad you have such a wonderful brother out in the world. I had a good cry at this entry. At this time in history, it can feel like there is no humanity left. Thanks.

Hannah in Chi #240 said exactly what I was going to say. Better to give to a shelter or soup kitchen or other support organization than to hand out bills on the street.

Oh wow. That story gets to me.

This has to be my very favorite posting of yours!

Warm hugs~ Tricia

how did you end up with a name like Heather? ;)
i am not sure what i would do... i have a drug addict brother... i just take it day by day.

As I was walking out of a concert, I noticed a guy asking people for change. I also noticed one of the band members that played earlier approaching my boyfriend and me. Instead of talking to the band member as my boyfriend impulsively did, I ended up going over to the guy and handed him whatever change I had in my pocket. I felt like it was the right thing to do. So my boyfriend and I left, drove around the corner, and found the guy I had given change to being arrested. I'm sure that money was going to drugs, I knew it from the start. But I know that if ever I was too broke to afford a Red Bull, I'd hope someone would give help me buy a can.

Beautiful post. And I give...I give even though I have no idea how they might spend the money...no idea at all. It doesn't matter. And what I always wonder is, do I give for them or for me?

My wife would do the same. I'm not so sure that I would.

#720 - completely agree, though I do support Obama. It's so hilarious that Dooce posts about expensive make-up brushes and tries to come off as a generous, hardworking folk. Yeah right.

i don't know if there are enough hours in the day for you to read all your comments, but this post touched me and i just wanted to share a story with you.

i was in line at trader joe's recently trying to add up the items in my cart in my head since money is a bit tight for me. i noticed the woman in front of me wearing scrubs and anxiously watching the guy ring up her items with the such intensity, as if willing the total to be a certain number.

when her total appeared she began to sadly take out a couple of her purchases, explaining that she didn't have enough, but that ice cream would have been nice ~ perhaps next time.

without hesitation, i told her to put back the ice cream and fruit and just add it to my bill. she looked at me with wide eyes and i just said, "it's okay"

i didn't know if she was trying to scam me or what have you, but she waited for me out in the parking lot with tears in her eyes. she then explained to me that she was a nurse to an elderly couple who had a very strict grocery bill. the husband really enjoyed ice cream while the wife loved strawberries and she was hoping to stretch the dollar to cover it for them as a surprise but just didn't have enough.

i will never forget the look on her face as she thanked me again, it was the best $7.00 i had ever spent.

so, my answer would also be yes, without hesitation.
thank you for sharing this story, it's important.

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omg its what i do too..but ive always had this inkling feeling of stupidity...i would donate even under the circumstances that i knew it might just be a hoax..but yet i feel i should try cause there is the possibility that they would really need it and i didnt want to give up that chance of helping...you put everything into such proper prospective its good to know im not the only one around.=)

I was "homeless" once for 24 hours as part of an experiential learning exercise. I had to dress the part and could only take one thing, so I took a thin jacket that I had to roll in dirt. I obviously wasn't going to starve to death, but I did get cold and hungry. The worst part, though, was being made to feel worthless and invisible by the clean, well-fed, laughing, busy, "normal" people who walked by carefully ignoring me and my partner. It was a horrible feeling and one I will never forget.

I learned that even if I don't give any money to a homeless person, the least I can do is make eye contact and say "hello." Human decency goes a long way and means so much.

I hesitated to comment on this post because I have so much rolling around my brain about it. I'll try to be brief.

I never hesitate to give money, but it needs to go to the appropriate institutions who can truly help those in need, not put a bandaid on a hemmorage. Heather, you are familiar no doubt with MIFA here in Memphis. They provide food to the hungry. They are associated with St. John's Methodist Church on Peabody which provides many helpful progams such as Church Health Care (covers the gap of the uninsured workers). I have used it myself. It was the most humane treatment I have ever received. They also offer other services such as Abused Women's Care (again, very helpful and kind), dental care, drug treatment and others.

The cynicism of some of your readers is a disease of our culture. We opperate on fear. Fear of being stupid, fear of not being good enough, fear of being wrong. I know, someone called me an "idiot" on one of your threads and then proceded to use a commonly known joke to point out why he was right, but he didn't seem to understand the joke. I understand that he was just afraid of the perception of himself he thought I had. He was wrong. My comments were solely directed at one of the candidates. When someone calls you names, they lose as they have nothing itelligent left to say. I'm sure someone will take this post the wrong way, too.

Your brother sounds like a great guy. Mine is, also. He is a rocket scientist. No really. NASA. You've seen his work. One of the best ideas I've gleaned from him is that true intelligence isn't knowing all the answers. Genius is asking all the right questions.

Keep asking. Some of us are listening.

That story was beautiful Heather, thanks so much for sharing. It made me cry (blush) and put a lot of things in perspective for me relating to our economic situation. We need to help each other - no government or profit-mongering corporation is going to - we have the power to help and need to listen to our hearts. POWERFUL. btw you ROK

I missed that question, but I agree 110%!

Great story.

I don't always give, but it's never out of disdain for how they got into the situation or out of concern for what they might do with it. It doesn't matter how someone got where they are -- the point is, that's where they are. It doesn't matter what they're going to do with your money -- the point is, they need it.

720 and 731 are really reaching for grievances.

Cee: you make several valid points, not just about Heather, and not just about several of the posters. But I do think it comes from a kind place, even if there are contradictions.

This is a discussion where people need to check their privilege at the door, even when we are talking just about giving; there are a lot of incredibly classist and ridiculous comments ditto-heading the post, and that frustrates me as well.

Heather: you also make valid points and it's a really well-written story. I live in an area with a lot of homeless regulars. I often say Hi and sometimes ask how their day is going, but I don't usually give change. I live on a budget as it is. However, I could afford to give more than I do. I tend toward fulfilling an obvious need, such as food or pet food or other goods. But I do also believe that homeless people have the same right to privately decide what to do with their money as people who live in mansions and invest in hedge funds. So maybe I will start giving money again like I did when I was in high school.

Wow. Thanks, Heather.

I love your blog. You make the days easier on those days when watching the news made it so much harder. :-)

I somehow overlooked the post with the original question, but answer would have been the same. I would give the money to the family.

Last summer I lived in Washington, D.C., the first time I'd ever spent any extended amount of time in a place with so many homeless people. While I didn't give out a lot of money, simply because I just don't carry cash, I tried to give out a few bucks here and there. Of course it's possible the guy I gave my last two dollars to was going to buy beer, but it's also possible that he really was desperate for something to eat. When I look someone in the eye and see the desperation, I think of him as a human who deserves my compassion. What matters to me is that my intentions are good and that the person I give the money to is grateful. What he does with the money is on him -- if he uses it to buy drugs or beer, it's his bad karma, but I'd rather be compassionate to someone who doesn't deserve it than be mean to someone who is genuinely in need.

Giving means giving up control. Once it is out of my hands, it is no longer my business.

I would hope I would give what I could; sometimes I do and sometimes I roll up my window and hope the light changes so I won't have to stop and be forced to check out the curb on the other side of the street for what seems like an hour.

I have had a really horrible past two weeks, possibly the worst kind of two weeks anyone could ever expect to have. Your post had me in tears. I am grateful to you for the reminder that there are kind hearted and good people left in America. I surely needed that when I read this last night.

Thanks for sharing your space with us and letting us share our stories with each other.
I lived in Berkeley, CA for fifteen years, and passed many people every day who needed help, whether they were asking for it or not; when Ronald Reagan was governor of California, he closed down many mental institutions and many people with mental illness ended up surviving on the streets through the kindness of strangers. I saw them every day. Sometimes I could afford to give them something, sometimes not, but I will never forget them. I know that justice is what we need to change the big picture, but in the moment, when I see someone and I have something to give, I am grateful that I am able to do so, because (in the words of the Phil Ochs' song) "There but for fortune/go you or I."

Very beautifully written. It's something I've always struggled with too and some of the comments on here have really made me think. Sometimes we think about things too much rather than doing what we know is the right thing in our hearts. Thanks for such a great story.

Thank you Heather. And please thank your brother. My heart is lifted, knowing there are still people like him in this world.

ok. that is different. if you would have asked do i give money to people on the street i would have said yes. i don't actively go out and find hungry people to feed so i said no. but whenever we see people on the street begging we always give them some cash. i never considered them 'hungry people' though. just the difference in the word made me change my answer. interesting.

people have always told us not to.

This is the first time I read your blog. One thing my parents taught me about giving is that once we give, it is up to the recipents to do what to do with that gift. Once we give, we already do what we are compelled to do and it is actually a gift to ourselves.

This warmed my heart. I have worked at a Starbucks downtown for years, and we have the same homeless people that come in everyday. Some of them, like James, we know are drug addicts. Some of them are just homeless for the very reason that they are mentally ill and circumstances were not kind to them. But we love them, and especially James, who is so funny and sweet, even though we know he has a crack problem, we still treat them like human beings, because they are. And they love us back, and they appreciate us and very possibly we are the only family they will every have. And we are so proud of that. When people reach out, it doesn't fall on a cold heart like so many may think. Perhaps these people act so animalistic because they are treated like animals when we pass them by and ignore them. And when I take my breaks and sit outside and talk to James or Ernie or Eric, who are all looked upon as "homeless riffraff" or whatever, we have a wonderful time and talk about normal things just like anyone else. Because they are people. And you will never know unless you stop and give them a moment.

Have you ever written about why your brother & sister have such unusual names? September? Ranger? Wussup with that Heather? And thanks for making me think twice about all the homeless people I ignore most of the time here in NYC.

I'll admit, when I first read the original post on this issue, I thought, "absolutely, I'd help the hungry family...no matter what." Then I saw some of the comments, which led to, "D'oh! I didn't even see it coming! More politics (rolling eyes)."

I'm glad you decided to share this story. Ranger sounds like a great person (with a neat name) and we should all be glad that he influenced you in such a way.

Hopefully we can all make an effort to impact someone else's life in such a positive and meaningful way.

That is a neat story, and your brother sounds like a cool guy (I was worried you were gonna say he turned into a heroin addict or something).

But what I really want to know is how come you got a normal name and the other two got September and Ranger? Seriously? You're lucky they didn't call you fruitbat or something...

My Mom always did this and thankfully it has influenced me. I am somewhat terrible at having cash on me, but when I do, I do what I can. And if someone is so worried how they'll use the money then go buy them a meal yourself & take it to them. They WILL be thankful for sure!! Thanks for this touching story!! My brother & I were very close as well & it's a nice reminder to me of the times we had together.

I guess this article has a lot of silent readers coming out and commenting : )

Yeah, for a lot of us, growing up has meant becoming judgmental and deciding that we know (a) what somebody else needs and (b) whether it is "good" for them. Instead of sticking to what we do know, i.e, how much we can give.

I'm Indian, and reading about the USA these days scares me... how the Wall Streeters managed to get away with ruining everybody, "Nuke 'em all" McCain and most scarily, Sarah "but the real one is called Tina" Palin. I don't like Obama either, I think he has got smooth replies and not enough answers, but there isn't really a choice. Sorry for the political angle, but what I wanted to say was : this redeems my faith in the USA as a nation, that there are still people who at least think these kind of issues are worth thinking about, even if I don't agree with all the answers.

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It really touch my heart. I have read it 3 times successively. Thank you.

I can't wade through all the comments to see if this has been asked, apologies.

This July I took a trip to SF for a week. I've been in many large cities, and the homeless and destitute are a part of the large city experience, but the SF people are different. I wanted to help most of the people I met on the streets around Union Square. How did SF affect you? Is it a different place, in your experience, or is the corn silk showing on my collar?

I never hesitate to give out cigarettes to anyone who asks. I rarely carry cash, but if someone wants to bum a smoke, I'm there, giving them two. The thought of someone being reduced to ashtray diving for a fix of nicotine is really disturbing to me.

what an amazing story. such an amazing story of how your brother effected your life. that is the sort of love and kindness that just destroys hopelessness in someone's life. i hope that man got a hand-up from your brother and was able to move forward and advance in his life from then on.

OMG I'm totally weeping right now. You get it, and you said it.

Simply...Bravo, Mrs. Armstrong.

This is exactly how I feel about it.
My heart is in the right place when I give the money to anyone.
What they do with it is up to them, & makes no difference to me.

Wow. Thank you for this Heather. It not only made me cry but made me realize how trivial my money issues are these days.

Thanks again!

Thanks for the post Heather. Very thought-provoking. I know I often hesitate in the situation your brother and you were in. Because of the example of my husband (who is generous, wonderfully generous) I usually do the right thing... BUT I always hesitate (I was brought up being told they will go and do any number of awful things with your money). Someday I'm going to be generous without thinking and then when I stop and realize I did it... I'm going to give one heck of a happy dance! Breakthrough.

I know my comment will be lost among 800 others, so it probably doesn't even matter, but I want to comment, anyway.

Fortunately, I live in a town with few homeless folks, but when I do see one and have cash on me, I always always always give them something.

My husband thinks I'm a big softie, and is much more cynical, but I'd like to think I could be the one person who made their day, or gave them a much needed meal, or whatever. I want to believe that, because I'm doing it from the goodness of my heart, they in turn will do something good with the money. And if they don't? Not my problem. I did what I felt was right.

I remember seeing a man who looked homeless once, and he was sitting near a bank holding a gas can. He didn't have a sign and wasn't begging, but he looked cold and alone. I pulled up and said, "It's cold out. Could you use a few bucks for a cup of coffee?" and handed him $10. He looked surprised, handed it BACK, and very kindly said he was just waiting for the bank to open so he could cash a disability check and get some gas in his gas can. (Now, I don't know about you, but I'm thinking he still could've used a few extra bucks--and he owed me no explanation.) He then thanked me profusely for being so kind, and told me, "You have a special place in Heaven waiting for you." And because of that? He made my day more than any other person could have.

I find that giving is almost selfish, in a roundabout way, because I derive so much happiness from it myself. I just hope I touch people in the way I intend.

What a great story--I love it!

Adding to my post #804 - Or better yet, lobby for universal health care, minimum wage increases or increased social services at the state or national level to reduce the number of mentally ill and homeless. The U.S. has one of the most anemic social safety nets in the developed world.

I live in Memphis, also, and have spent some time volunteering for the Salvation Army food vans that drive around downtown offering hot meals to homeless men and women. There are SO many people, SO MANY who step out of their beautiful temperature controlled cars wearing beautiful clothing who clearly can afford a meal yet opt for the free meal that isn't rightfully theirs. This is understandably frustrating as hell and discouraging. The man who leads this group said something to us many years ago and I will never forget it. He said, "We feed need and we feed greed. We let God sort it out." I'll never forget that. I don't give to every single person asking, either. But I give to most. What they do with my charity is up to them, I've done the right thing and hopefully somewhere I've made a tiny difference.

As someone who has seen her father take random donations of cash, thank you.

My father never solicited our need, but people took the time to realize our family was worth the investment.

I've come to a decision recently, and it has everything to do with what you're talking about here: I will always risk being a fool, if only to avoid being an asshole. I don't know for sure what they will use it for, but there is always the chance that I'm walking away from someone who truly is in need.

When I was in high school I participated in a homeless immersion for my Christian Service requirement. It was a week long and I will never forget some of the people I met. While some were honest and truly needed money, others were not. But nothing hit me more than when a friend and I decided we were going to sit on the sidewalk and ask for money for a few hours and see what would happen.

We got some money, but we also had many people walk by us as if we weren't there. Then we had people walk by who would jingle the money they had in their pockets. Then we had one woman who blatantly told us that we didn't look poor and why were we asking for money? We told her we were doing a homeless immersion and wanted to know what it felt like to sit on the sidewalk and experience what homeless people experience. This seemed to make her even more angry because we flat out told her we weren't poor and didn't need help.

We also had a former street kid tell us that if the street kids who were a few blocks away from us found out that we weren't poor or that we didn't need the money, we could get seriously hurt (i.e stabbed or in a physical fight). We quickly moved from the area we were in to a more populated area. When we were done, we gave the money we had collected to this couple we saw walking down the sidewalk with all their possessions in a shopping cart. They seemed pretty happy to have it, and we were happy and willing to give it to them.

They say you should never judge anyone until you walk a mile in their shoes - I decided to and I have to say it was one of the most eye opening experiences of my life. I was groped by men I didn't know; I got into a religious argument with a woman I had known for five minutes; and I got to know a lot of people who had nothing and didn't care, or were really in need of a helping hand. It was an extremely rewarding experience.

my mom always bought people a meal, or gave people food whenever she was approached for money from someone. i try to do the same.

I'm amazed. No, I'm not amazed at the sweetness, compassion, or awesomeness of your story. I'm amazed that people believe you. I truly, truly WAS such a huge fan of yours but I see now - well, I FEEL in my gut - that you are a huge fake. Or at least you're not very good at self-realization.

Perhaps your story is true. I don't know, I even question that, to be honest. But you cannot make me believe that you didn't have it all ready and prepared before you posted your original question. THAT question was politically motivated and if people can't see that then perhaps this country is indeed in more trouble than I thought. I'm sure you had this nice little story as a back-up when that question took a turn you didn't intend it to take - or when you had all the answers you needed.

It just amazes me that you preach and scream and go on and on about charity when all you do for you money is sit and write on a blog. And yes, as someone mentioned, buy expensive make-up brushes. And, NO, ladies and gentlemen, those make-up brushes weren't 35 dollars collectively. They were 20-35 dollars a PIECE. Imagine how many folks you could have fed with that! How many bucks could you have tossed out your window or roses could you have bought with THAT kind of money?

Please don't judge me for wanting to know where my hard-earned money goes. I get up at 5:30 every day and go to work. I deal with medical insurance companies. I deal with patients who come into our office monthly, get their pain meds, have Medicaid (taxpayers) pay for their prescriptions after which they go off and sell them to homeless people with the money YOU just gave them! I bet those folks are buying Sephora make-up brushes too, thanks to ME. Am I jaded? Just a bit.

I'm really going to try to let this be my last visit to this site. It saddens me to be honest, but this has turned into something that does not leave me happier than when I first came....

Relatively few of the homeless or begging that I've worked with in my communities abuse drugs or alcohol. Some do as a way of coping with what the world gives them, and some do actually abuse these substances. But most of this is merely an image projected by mainstream society to maintain typical (often consumer-based) standards for survival and life, such as what to buy and what things are necessary for survival (and, more broadly, this contributes to keeping our class system in place).

We are constantly afraid to step outside the norms of our existence, and yet "pan-handlers", "beggars", or the homeless by their very nature defy these standards. We are taught not to ask for help, that we are isolated beings who stand alone, and by literally asking for help through begging these individuals deconstruct this notion. Their persistence despite lacking all the things that we as Americans assume are necessities of survival deconstructs our notions of "need" and "normalcy." We are taught to hate and fear these people, clothing our dislike in things that it is acceptable to hate: drug and alcohol abuse. Why should we be isolated islands, standing alone without community support?

Giving money to people in these situations does not necessarily challenge these standards, but questioning your instinct to ignore or refrain from interacting with or helping these individuals does. It is only by actively and guiltlessly taking responsibility for our own contributions to existing oppressive structures, and by thoroughly challenging our gut fears and instincts about classes of people we topple the system creating these divides.

Some people who comment you, Heather, are completely out of line, and I highly doubt they'd speak to you face-to-face with the same hostility and blatant disregard they use on here. It's sick.

If you don't agree with something, there are ways to be an adult about it. Not every disagreement has to be an argument, it can be a healthy debate. It doesn't seem many "adults" here are into that sort of constructive conversation.

No one is forced to read this site. If you're unhappy with Heather's opinions because they aren't your own, then leave, and don't come back. It's that simple. Why continue to read and become so enraged that you leave such displays of pure hostility and hatred? Grow up.

Some have said, "Heather, I've appreciated your blog for x-amount of years, but what you've written lately has left me unwilling to read any longer. Thanks for the last x-amount of years of enjoyment and entertainment." If compelled to write about how you WON'T BE READING her blog (instead of just, oh, I don't know, NOT reading it) then why not do so as a respectful, respectable adult?

Heather, I don't know how you deal with that crap, though I know its just part of having your personal business aired on the internet. I wouldn't be able to deal with it myself. Bless your heart.

Excellent post.

To answer the original question, hell no, I wouldn't donate money to a starving family if I had to give the same amount to a crackhead... but I'd let them eat dinner at my house. I've fed drunks and atheists on holidays, why not feed OTHER people who have nowhere else to go?

When I read your blog, it definitely struck a chord. I was approached by a homeless man today, and ended up buying him dinner, but...not by choice. I was maneuvered into being a better person because at first I said no, guided by that "impulse", and he turned the tables on my flimsy excuse. I'm just angry at this situation because, yeah, I do have a few more dollars than he, but I'm a poor college student and in no real position to help this person. I'm also angry that our system to provide is so terrible. He couldn't even get into a shelter because he had no ID and it snowed in Salt Lake(HOLLA!)today. What kind of person doesn't have an ID? Why do I have to be a part of a society that allows this? I don't like it at all.

Great story, did you purposefully work it so it seemed like your brother was going to end up on crack? Nice little narrative device anyhow.

The question has some philosophical significance, especially in the realsm of what philosophers call 'luck egalitarianism'. The basic question (which more often than not provides the fundamental distinction between left and right wings of the political spectrum) is 'at what stage should people be held responsible for their actions?'.

Now this problem has a particular twist beacuse in one of the cases we have an outcome (buying crack) that we may categorise as a bad decision (not too much opposition here I hope). Of course charity is not the ideal way even to deal with the first situation and evidently not with the second. However, when insitutional methods fail, it may be reasonably seen that individuals have some obligation to pick up the slack.

Now putting aside the (not unimportnat issue) of whether we might have an obligation irrespective of the consequences, there are some conclusions to be drawn. In particular although the consequences of giving to the drug user may have (at least one) negative effect (which may have further bad effects), to label it a bad action overall would be to presume that these effects outweigh any good effects. However, as many of the posts above have said, being a drug user and whatever associated social problems accompany this (e.g. homelessness) is often as a result of social isolation and a breakdown of social bariers between at least one, and normally a great deal, of people. As such, the trust implicit in giving a drug user a substantial sum of money may be worth a great deal.

A final point, if instead of $20, your brother gave him $2 million, it may be the case that the guy bought himself a house and checked himself into rehab. A lot of the time problems arise with charity because it is not enough (or not early enough) rather than too much.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.

I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

***

Seems pretty goddamn straightforward to me, but I'm a leftist-pinko-commie from WAY back.

I have felt this way for a long time. I might get suckered, but the good Lord didn't say we should give to those in need after checking their references.

One of my favorite shows of all time is "Sports Night" from Aaron Sorkin. In one episode, Issac was asked about charitable giving and he said that he does, but that most of the time he just gives what he has to the bums he sees on the streets. When asked if he was worried they were going to waste it on booze, he said he hoped they were going to spend it on booze. For most of these people, they are not just one good meal away from turning it around. For better or worse, they have slipped through the cracks of society. What's wrong with giving them a little medication to ease the pain. It is what we would do for your loved ones dying in the hospital. Why not do the same for our less fortunate.

Whether you believe in God and the bible or not, there is much to be learned from it.

"Whatsoever you do for the least of my Brothers, that you do for me." You never know when you might meet God. He just might be that bum on the street.

i rarely give money, but if i have a banana in my bag or a spare umbrella or pair of gloves, those i easily give away. it's a bit easier to control what they would use the money for if you are giving them a specific item... there's less trust in that, i know.

Gahhhh...and I was thinking when you said "...it has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with my older brother, Ranger" that you were gonna tell us all about this seedy crack addiction that your brother has and how it's ruined his life, and blah blah blah.

Then you had to go and ruin it by talking about HOMELESS PEOPLE.

Geez Heather, where's the DRAMA? Where's the SUSPENSE?! Where's the GOSSIP?!

Your story made me cry, and inspired me to be a better example to those around me. Thanks.