The making of an older sister
Yesterday morning we dragged Leta out of bed very early in order to make it to my doctor's appointment on time. We had not mentioned a word about what's been going on, mainly to be cautious, although she's very observant and has asked me out loud in front of strangers why my boobs are so sore. And I tell her it's because Daddy won't stop looking at them. That is not a lie, I can feel him thinking about them, staring at them, wondering why all of a sudden they've doubled in size, and when I see him walking toward me my instinct is to hide. The weight of a cotton t-shirt can be paralyzing, so you can understand that I might want to avoid the gravitational pull of two eager eyeballs.
I thought that having her in the room during my appointment would be a great way to break it to her that come June life as she knows it is going to be over, and when the doctor found the wiggly baby in my abdomen Leta shouted, "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BABY FROM?" I was lying on the table naked from the waist down having just been through a pelvic exam, and was not prepared at all to talk to my four-year-old daughter about her father's penis. So I lied.
"Magical elves," I said.
She seemed satisfied with that answer, enough to continue with her list of questions. "HOW YOU GONNA GET THAT BABY OUT?" she said with a concern that made it sound as if she remembered the exact moment her shoulders left my womb. I assured her that such a process was something she didn't need to worry about and was promptly interrupted as Jon pointed to a poster on the wall and told her it would come out my bunky. Awesome. Can't wait for my four-year-old's nightmares about spiders to be replaced with ones of menacing vaginal openings.
My doctor left the room briefly so that I could get dressed, and as I pulled on my black sweats Leta announced that she was willing to be nice to my baby. I thought that was very generous of her, and feeling safe enough to press my luck I asked her if she would feel that way even if it was a boy. "It's not a boy," she said confidently. "It's a little sister, and I'm going to share my toys with her." I certainly hope that Jon's semen got that memo.
Both Jon and I were almost giddy with relief as we walked out of the building toward the car, and several times we silently squeezed each other's hands. He was carrying Leta on his left hip and asked her if she was excited as we were about Mama's baby.
"Um..." she hesitated. "I'm excited about Christmas."
You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.
If you've already registered, login.
If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.
FM Living
Anonymous said:
And come July, she'll be asking "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THAT BABY BACK TO THE HOSPITAL???"
Congrats! Enjoy the enjoyable parts, and we'll all forgive you for NOT enjoying the MANY non-enjoyable parts of pregnancy.
11.20.08 - 12:05 PM / 1Micha said:
Congrats again! I can't wait to read about Leta's interaction with her new little sister. Will you wait to be surprised by the sex?
11.20.08 - 12:06 PM / 2joey mayes said:
congrats!
11.20.08 - 12:06 PM / 3Katy said:
HAHA!
I think she realized that she had just acquiesced to sharing her toys!
It really is going to be fun reading about Leta Armstrong becoming an older sister.
11.20.08 - 12:07 PM / 4Megan said:
Congratulations! So happy for you, Jon, Leta, Chuck and Coco!
11.20.08 - 12:08 PM / 5oceanspray said:
I forgot how awesome the pregnancy posts are! How exciting, I can't wait for more to come.
11.20.08 - 12:08 PM / 6Susie said:
Glad to know my husband is not the only one to use the term "bunky."
And congratulations on baby #2!
11.20.08 - 12:08 PM / 7jane said:
She will be a great big sister!
11.20.08 - 12:08 PM / 8Meghan said:
Beautiful.
How exciting for you all.
11.20.08 - 12:08 PM / 9Kristan said:
Dude, you're gonna have a hard time when they try to show her the sex ed video at school (although maybe they don't do that in Utah...) and she says, THAT'S NOT HOW IT HAPPENS! WHERE ARE THE MAGICAL ELVES?!
11.20.08 - 12:09 PM / 10beckyhomecky said:
Turns out you weren't "totally doing it wrong" after all! Best wishes.
11.20.08 - 12:09 PM / 11jen lovely said:
congrats!
11.20.08 - 12:09 PM / 12Anonymous said:
Congratulations!
11.20.08 - 12:09 PM / 13kristi said:
Congratulations!
11.20.08 - 12:09 PM / 14pam said:
*note to self to remember "bunky" for when baby gets older*
11.20.08 - 12:09 PM / 15Anonymous said:
Congratulations Heather! I've only just confirmed that I'm pregnant for the first time, so will look to you for humour and context of all the drama over the coming months!
Here's to a healthy and safe pregnancy :)
11.20.08 - 12:10 PM / 16J said:
Yay! I'm so stoked for you & your family. I'm also happy for my own benefit (selfish, I know). I'm trying to get pregnant and hope it worked this month. I would love to read & relate to all of your great stories to come. CONGRATS!
11.20.08 - 12:10 PM / 17Kristy said:
ugh! hate the morning sickness and the sore boobs... but how wonderful! when I was pregnant with my daughter I had horrible morning, afternoon and evening sickness... when I was pregnant with my son... NOTHING! thought this indicated he was going to be great layed back kid... yeah right... he's 5 and I'm pretty sure could make the grade for ADHD! so much fun! Leta will be a big help with the baby... and I wish you the very best... I wish ETSY had been around when my kids were babies!
11.20.08 - 12:10 PM / 18Molly said:
YAY!!! I am home with my second and have been waiting for this posting! Congratulations to your family. You are giving Leta the best gift ever - even if she won't think so until she's 25.
11.20.08 - 12:11 PM / 19Emily said:
Hilarious! When I told my 10-year-old niece I was going to have a baby she promptly said, "I hope you don't get mean. All the pregnant women I know get mean!"
Kids...love them! Congrats again!
11.20.08 - 12:11 PM / 20french toast girl said:
CONGRATULATIONS! I'll be praying for you all... and I can't wait to hear what Leta thinks about being a big sister!
11.20.08 - 12:11 PM / 21Tehmi said:
Can't wait for Leta's reaction when you find out its a boy...
11.20.08 - 12:11 PM / 22Bumbling said:
Ah it seems that Leta has her priorities in order - Christmas first- everything else comes in second. I am sure whe will be a fantastic older sister, although I advise you to go our and buy some of those tranquilizing darts NOW, just to have them on hand for the day when your children get together and stage a full scale mutiny. It will happen, have no doubt.
Potential future mutinies aside, congratulations to the entire Dooce household! If you would like to practice the art of rearing two kiddos at once, may I volunteer either of my two kids? Or maybe I can make a deal and I will hand over two for the price of one? No? ....please?
11.20.08 - 12:11 PM / 23Anonymous said:
Heather she will be SUCH a great big sister! It won't take her too long to get used to, shes at a good age for it. I had my baby boy Oliver last Feb and I have a step-son, Calvin, who was 5 when he was born. He was very gentle and happy about his baby brother...although not willing to share his toys with him. Now Oliver is crawling very fast and pulling himself up and terrorizing Calvin (he will take one of his toys he can't have and crawl with it as fast as he can across the room, with a devilish squeal)....but he still just laughs it off...usually. It was the sweetest thing ever, Calvin has started tackling Oliver and will roll him on his side and snuggle him and yesterday he did it and whispered "I love you" to him. It was soooo cute. Leta will be great!!! Congrats again!! Last night at dinner I told my husby..."I have big news!!! Dooce is pregnant!!"
11.20.08 - 12:11 PM / 24traacy said:
Leta's a riot! I can't wait till I have a 4-year-old! also, do we get the belly shots this pregnancy?
11.20.08 - 12:12 PM / 25Ariel said:
My 4 year old asked that same question. I answered "Egg and Sperm unite forming a baby" while the almost husband yelled "A stork brings them!" in panicked tones.
She looked at us crazy and went about her day. She hasn't asked for more clarification yet... But I think I'd better handle it when she does...
11.20.08 - 12:13 PM / 26Nadine said:
I'm so happy for you! I hope this pragnancy goes well for you and your family. I do love the excitement in your writng! I hope this pragnancy will be a positive, successful one!
11.20.08 - 12:14 PM / 27Ashley H. said:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I really look forward to seeing how Leta deals with the pregnancy and new baby!
I love hearing about your explanations of things for her :)
11.20.08 - 12:15 PM / 28Kate said:
YAY! Yayyayayayayay!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
11.20.08 - 12:15 PM / 29Alison said:
I'm psychic and I see twins in your future.
P.S. I'm not really psychic
P.P.S. But little Armstrong twins would be fun!
11.20.08 - 12:15 PM / 30