• Laura June

    Yo seriously? Pregnancy is THAT bad? Christ. If I was currently getting laid at all I’d totally stop having sex.

    Adooopting.

  • http://www.sarahendren.com Sara

    Girl, I totally hear you. Did NOT enjoy being pregnant either, and this last one, which resulted in a beautiful baby girl, was worse than the first. Pregnancy: such a beautiful thing, a beautiful IDEA, but gosh it’s hard on some of us. Can’t wait to see your photos!

  • http://carolinacottage.etsy.com Melanie

    Heather, I feel for you. I was the same way – nauseas for three months straight.

    And the second baby did show earlier.

    But don’t forget that it will get better soon. The second trimester is generally easier.

    I craved chips at the beginning of my pregnancies, too. Weird. Must be the salt.

    Rest. Put your feet up. ‘Cause they’re easier to take care of in the womb!

  • http://jessedup.com Jess

    Well Hell. Why is it that we are trying to get pregnant? No wine, getting fat, and also – no wine. Fuck this – I’m going celibate. Wait – I’m going HAND JOB.

  • Cindy

    Thanks for your post. I’m sorry to hear about the pregnancy acne but I must admit, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only mom-to-be who suffers with that. None of my other pregnant friends ever got it and it’s not the type of complaint you want to mention and draw attention to. Actually I’m always dealing with adult acne but while pregnant, I can’t take anything for it. It’s painful and disgusting but thankfully, good makeup can help. I’m 15 weeks now and it just starting to get a tiny bit better now. Hope yours does, too.

  • http://www.fleuris.ca Fleuris

    Brutal. I know my sister started showing earlier for her second one too. I was all hopeful for you that this would be going well since your last post was so good!

    Now you have to teach Leta how to feed the dogs and be your own personal secretary – i.e. respond to emails, answer phone calls etc!

  • Amy

    seriously i am impressed you are posting at all. i am 9 weeks pregnant today and the morning sickness is so horrible i can barely look at the computer screen. i hate it but it was the exact same way with my first child and he is totally worth it but it seems unfair when i see preggo women out and about eating and socializing and being great mommies to their first child and i am in bed constantly curled up ready to hurl….counting down the hours till daddy comes home at night to take over and i can finally rest.
    thank GOD for PBS kids.

    take care and know that i am literally right there with you…..well almost. i am due beginning of july….but close.:)

  • http://de.vzit.net Aktuelle Nachrichten

    I hope you start feeling better as soon as possible. Good luck with the remaining months!

  • http://lovelaughslice.blogspot.com Domestic Goddess (in training)

    This post proves what I’ve been saying since my first pregnancy. Tell teenagers the joys of pregnancy (who knew your nipples turned that color and grew to the size of a satellite dish… I mean the old school ones) and worse… make them watch the video my birthing class made me watch (why didn’t that lady wax… oh wait… that’s the head!?!?!?!) and teen pregnancy would drop to NOTHING.

  • Sandra

    Disenfranchised. Thats a great way to describe pregnancy.
    If it makes you feel any better, I don’t get women who lovvvvvvve being pregnant either, but I get YOU. Especially at 12 weeks. Ugh.

  • Cindy

    I love all three of my babies (who aren’t babies anymore!), but I hated being pregnant. At least with each subsequent pregnancy, the constant-nausea improved.

    What’s worse, Heather? Feeling pukey and disgusting all the time or dealing with all of these teenager’s angst, drama and sarcasm NOW? I’m still trying to figure that one out. Hang in there, sweetie!

  • cattitude

    I was showing I swear immediately upon conception with my second child, and yet still only ended up gaining about 22 pounds, which I lost right after his birth (He was nearly ten pounds)so have faith!!

  • geminijen_2000

    I doubt you remember, but I wrote you an email once, and while commenting on your beautiful letters to Leta, I admitted that I totally did not want kids. Well, that must have been before I started reading Sweet Juniper and Laid off Dad along with your blog. One simply can’t read all this awesome parenting bloggage without falling victim to it.

    So, yeah, I’m pregnant. 5 months pregnant. And I am soooo with you about the 1st trimester! It BLOWS! The 2nd is much better, but I still wouldn’t want to be pregnant for years.

    I hope you feel better in the weeks to come!

  • brianna

    So I was one of those women that loved being pregnant, every minute of it, and did not understand how women out there had such hard times…read back to WAS! I am now pregnant with our second, due in June, and I truly never want to be pregnant again. Don’t get me wrong, I may want to have more children in the future, but holy hell this has been one VERY different pregnancy than my first. So to you Dooce, act and feel the way you need too and know there are readers and fans right there with you!!!

  • http://www.piecrustpromises.com Dana

    Two years later…I’m still wearing maternity sweats…not because I need to….but because they are so DAMN COMFY.

  • Leah

    My little boy is almost 6 months old and I still wear maternity pants!

  • http://dougandcam.com Cam Bowman

    HI Heather,

    Congratulations on the baby! I really do feel for you. I was sick the entire time feeling as though I had a bad hangover every single day. I love our baby more than anything but HATED being pregnant!

    Take care!
    Cam

  • http://www.chica425.blogspot.com Marisa

    I agree. I cannot relate to any woman who says being pregnant feels so great and wonderful. I, too, am grateful to be having a healthy pregnancy so far, but being pregnant bites.

  • http://littlebirdlost.wordpress.com Tori

    WORD UP! I HATE BEING PREGNANT! If I hear one more gypsy skirt-wearin Earth Mother tell me to “really embrace these last few weeks, it’s such a beautiful thing” I will most certainly make the evening news for taking hippies out at the Whole Foods one-by-one as make their way down the granola aisle.

    I was sick as a dog, couldn’t even take the smell of water (yes it smells), and funny, could only eat sour gummy worms and salt & vinegar pringles for a month. Now I pee when I sneeze, fart when I laugh (or just breathe or talk, it’s a fun little surprise), and there is no sleep. NONE. NO SLEEPING, LIKE, EVER, NOT A LICK OF THE SLEEP HERE, HAHAHahahahaha. It’s such a beautiful time! BUT, I am lucky, I am fortunate, I get a little human out of this whom I can train to cook me hot dogs with cheese in the middle, and that right there does make this the most beautiful time in my life.

  • http://lipstickdaily.com/ Elaine

    It brings back such memories! I remember walking around with a giant Costco sized bottle of tums at work for a month before my first was born. Hang in there! Elaine
    http://www.lipstickdaily.com

  • ZhaoShu

    dude. my MidWife gave me these really nifty bracelets “SeaBands” I wasnt even about to expect them to work… THEY DID! go to the drug store and get some “SeaBands”!!!!!!! I was sick for six months with my first pregnancy it was terrible… with the second pregnancy… I got the SEABANDS! and NO BARFING!!!!!
    thank me later ;) teehee!

  • Karen

    Heather

    I know! The good news is that when you stay pregnant, you have long healthy pregnancies, even if you feel terrible, that end in beautiful babies. You aren’t trapped on the couch or taking progesterone shots every week or going to the fetal specialist to have your cervix measured so everyone can freak out about how your baby could literally just fall out of you. This is all fantastic!

    I loved being pregnant the first time, I only gained 18 lbs (granted by son was born 9 weeks early), I felt great, I looked great, it was totally wonderful. This time, it was like my body said, “Hey, I remember this! POOF!” and I was HUGE, felt like I was going to hurl, and had all kinds of complications which have resulted in me having to sit on the couch since JULY and deal with all the stuff I listed above…yes, I’m still pregnant, but yes, she is going to be early.

    So, love the maternity clothes. Love that food tastes good. Love that your babies come out just perfect and get to go home with you!

    I’m excited for you and your family. And if you want to talk about puking for posts on end, I’m happy to read them!

  • Deanna

    Thank GOD for all those puking posts from 2004!!! Because that’s what I would read on the weekends from July-October of this year, curled up on the bathroom floor crying because I wanted a baby but I didn’t know how I could get through another day of puking. It was the 24-hour seasick-with-a-champagne-hangover curse. I couldn’t even nibble Cheerios, I couldn’t leave the house without plastic bags in the car and extra shirts, I just sucked on ice cubes and wished I was dead.

    The worst was when I called my sister, who has a ten month old, to yell at her. “You never told me it was going to be like this!” Her reply? “Honey…how did you think I lost those ten pounds my first trimester? I DID tell you, you just didn’t understand.”

  • http://afuss.blogspot.com Afuss

    I’m totally with you — in fact my due date is June 15 and I feel exactly the same way. Except no food tastes good to me. Ever. Isn’t it supposed to get better soon???

  • Jeri

    Heather, I’m just about 10 weeks, and I’m just hoping Jon didn’t say to you what my husband did about my morning sickness: “It’s all in your head”. The evil eye, along with the threat of no sex ever again and punching him in the stomach daily (so he knows what it’s like) pretty much stopped that from coming out of his mouth again.

    My body played a nasty trick on me. I woke up one morning about two weeks ago with absolutely no nausea or dizziness and thought maybe it was going to start tapering off. The next day I threw up. And the day after. And the day after that. And so on.

    I’m so glad I’m not alone.

  • http://uncommonblonde.blogspot.com Jessica

    You are crushing my hopes that this will be over in a few days. I am about 7 weeks along and I feel like crap – I feel like my body has betrayed me. I thought this was going to be all cuteness and fluff but thus far, not so much. I hope you feel better soon and don’t forget to tell us as soon as you do – I need some hope!

  • http://gregandlori.com Lori

    From Week 1 to Week 40 with both girls, I begged my husband to kill me. I don’t know how I survived the flu for 80 weeks. What gene did those women get who “LOVE” being pregnant? Why didn’t I get it? What is retribution for pre-marital hand jobs? Labor is a joke. 24 hours of hell as compared to 40 weeks of unrelenting nausea. I can do anything for a day.

    Best of luck. Benadryl, Vitamin B6, refried beans on chips at 1 pm (the best advice I received from an OB…saved my life),

    Lori
    Mother of 2, and DONE with pregnancy

  • Lisa Brooks

    I feel your pain! I love my son, and wouldn’t trade him for a thing, but my pregnancy was miserable as well. It actually made me depressed, as I couldn’t understand why other women enjoyed this so much. I thought I was defective. Hang in there, you’ll do just fine.

  • http://motherhoodconfidential.blogspot.com/ E

    Oh, Heather, how I heart your blog!

    I’m totally with you – I hated how I felt while pregnant with my now nine-month-old, especially when other women gushed to me about how they wished they could again experience pregnancy, and how womanly they felt while pregnant. At first, it made me feel jealous and guilty that I didn’t feel that whole womanly glow, BS, but then I just got frustrated about it. All I felt like was a Neanderthal, not some beautiful, blessed woman. A hungry, clumsy Neanderthal with acne worse than a 13-year-old (which sometimes still rears its ugly head, oh thank you hormones!).

    For what it’s worth, the Unisom and B6 trick worked a little for me – it made that awful, constant nauseous feeling subside, even if only for a little while.

    Best of luck, and I hope your second trimester is less pukey than the first!

    http://motherhoodconfidential.blogspot.com/

  • UniquelyJessa

    oh mama, do i EVER feel your pain about the constant nausea! get your OB to write you a prescription for Zofran (i took 4mg every 6 hours) and you’ll be thanking me and wanting to buy stock in their company with all of your savings :) the med is expensive (even with most insurances – I could only get 12 tablets at a time) but, again, well worth your sanity! best of luck!

  • Katie

    Any excuse to legitimately wear elastic waist pants is a good thing.

  • http://sassypriscilla.typepad.com sassypriscilla

    Starting to feel like the odd duck here but I did love being pregnant. Could be because my hormones are already F’d up in the first place so pregnancy was when I felt my best. I admit that I did not have hardly any morning sickness and feel so bad for those that do. Don’t hate me – I developed pre-eclampsia and my son had 4 heart surgeries after he was born. I’d rather have barfed for 9 months than have a son with lifelong heart problems.

    I think you start showing sooner as your abdominal muscles have already been stretched once. It doesn’t mean you will get bigger.

    I hope in a few weeks your stomach will give you a well-deserved break and that you start feeling those little butterflies of baby movement that can help you relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I envy you, your sickness and all.

  • ruby

    I should not complain as I’ve been trying for 3 yrs to get pregnant and have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to get to puke every hour or so. I can no longer grin and bare it, it sucks big time but it is what it is.

    However, I did find somethings that work for the acne that I managed to miss out on as a teenager.

    I wash my face 2x a day with organic soap by Avelon Organics. I use a scrub by Burts Bees once a day prior to the wash – made of ground peach pits or something like that. And I follow up with Thayers Witch Hazel with Rose Water and Aleo. It does not have alcohol to dry up the skin and it seems to cleanse and refresh. And I use day and night cream for oily skin. I had made the mistake of ditching the cream till I read that your body will produce more oil (hence more zits) if it thinks it is dry.

    so far it has worked for me, hope it works for you!

  • Natasha

    THANK YOU DOOCE!!!!! I am 12 weeks with my first child, and I am one of those women no one thought would ever have a family, I am not that maternal. Now to add more fuel to fire I HATE being pregnant. I have been feeling so shitty as a woman for hating being pregnant. All I hear about are women who LOVE being pregnant, like it is some out of body experience that makes us as women closer to a higher power. I call BULL SHIT!

    Give me a great bottle of red wine, a romantic dinner and the naughty, naughty activities that got me in this position anytime!

    I have always appreciated your honesty in your posts, but this is so close to home for me right now. When I found out I was pregnant, I actually started searching out your posts on being pregnant with Leta hoping for something to make me feel better. Thank you for sharing something that I have found so very difficult to voice to anyone but my partner and my closest girlfriend.

    How can you love being pregnant when you have to go to the hospital every 2 days for IV fluids because your allergic to your baby and have THE WORLDS WORST mornin sickness? All my guilt over this just made me feel worse. So while I am still laying in the fetal position hoping to God my most recent mandrin orange actually stays down, know that you actually MADE ME FEEL BETTER!

    Thank you!

  • http://www.d3voiceworks.com d3 voiceworks

    one word: heartburn

    killing. me. now.

    it’s got nothing on morning sickness but ow!

  • Nikki

    You’re not alone. I’m currently about four months pregnant, the 2nd time around, and although I’m past the worst of the nausea and exhaustion I still don’t particularly enjoy being pregnant. It makes me feel like I’m missing out on some mother-earth thing. And like you, I’m showing so much earlier than I did before. At least this time I can look at my daughter and know that it’s all worth it.

  • kelly

    Thanks, dooce. Just as I was finally starting to forget, finally thinking about having that second kid – BAM – your words bring it all back.

    It’s a girl. Only a girl could be vicious enough to do this to her own mama.

  • http://stopscreamingimdriving.com Carrie

    Welcome to being pregnant with #2! I looked like I had a basketball with the 2nd one . . . I won’t venture to tell you how much he weighed, I don’t want to scare you!

    ps – you’ll be fine.

  • Kate

    Oh my word, do I hear you. Your comment about feeling totally disenfranchised completely resonates with how I’ve been feeling about being pregnant. This is my first and I just hit the 5 month mark and, while this part is *way* better than the nauseous-fatigued-completely-hormonal part, I still do not care for the feeling that my body is completely out of control and that my baby is ALREADY taking over my life!! not to mention the fact that even though I’m already two cup sizes larger than my normal size, I think I need an even larger bra!! My boobs are out of control. Um, but enough about me… I can relate is all I’m sayin’.

  • michele

    I’m with ya Heather. I was not jazzed about being pregnant with the first and even less jazzed about being pregnant with the 2nd. Am I excited that we’re having a new baby? Yes, but seriously, fast forward this crap. I’m halfway through now which is great, but I am feeling like….REALLY…only halfway through, that’s absurd!! I think woman who get all glowy and blah blah blah during pregnancy are all paid tv actresses.

  • Marika

    I suffer from chronic nausea (not because I’m pregnant; it’s just a diabetic thing) and my doctor prescribed Zofran for me. It is a medication that is used on patients going through chemo. Also, it is safe for pregnant women because a friend of mine who is in her third trimester just started taking it and finally feels relief from all the nausea.
    Another trick I’ve tried is using massagers to distract me from the nausea. That sometimes seems to help too.
    Hope you feel better soon and congratulations!

  • http://www.theleen.com Kathleen

    I hated being pregnant, too. Love my daughter, hated hated hated pregnancy. And of course all the women in my life had amazing pregnancies, so they (especially my MIL, I think) do not understand when I shudder at the thought of being pregnant.

    I likened the sickness to feeling like I was permanently jet-lagged and hung over, for 9 months. Your pasta description is pretty accurate, too, though.

    I hope it gets better soon for you. If not, ditto those who have said Zofran. It’s the only way I made it through without curling up into a little ball and dying.

  • http://es.vzit.net ultimas noticias

    Nice joke for you:
    When is the best time to get an epidural?
    Right after you find out your pregnant.
    :)

  • http://www.wizood.com Liz

    Here I was… cheering you on with the NO morning sickness. I thought – LOOK – LOOK at Heather! She was as sick as I was the first time around, and here she is the second time with none of that.

    I thought there was hope for me, and that putting off getting pregnant with the 2nd would finally be over because I had living proof that it was possible I wouldn’t be as sick.

    Go ahead and write about puke and sickness as much as you want – I know for me in those first 16 weeks that’s all I could think about, it was all consuming.

    Hang in there – and tell everybody who says “just eat some saltines!” to EFF OFF for me. ;)

  • allison

    I’m sitting here 13 weeks pregnant, bawling at a St. Jude’s commercial and sipping a room-temp sprite (the only thing I can regularly keep down). I can’t wait until I really can eat anything I want. I have felt hungover to some degree or another since late September. Hopefully it doesn’t continue until June. Congrats to you and I can’t wait to go through the next few months reading your posts and sharing the experience. Except instead of a 4 year-old girl I have a crazy 18-month old to wrangle.

  • carin

    My thoughts exactly. I’m 20 weeks… the nausea stopped at 16, later than with my first. The exhaustion stopped last week, and my belly popped at 8 weeks. It is NOT the same as the first, but it has gotten much, much better these last few weeks. I hope the same for you, soon.

  • Clare

    Try those acupressure bracelets you can get they totally helped my seasickness on a rough ferry crossing and I get seasick swimming… By the way morning sickness is meant to be a really good sign for the pregnancy. Hope you feel better and keep taking prozac anti-depressants saved by life and you can bet I will have kids one day.

  • Kim

    Yep, I hear ya about the whole pregnancy thing. My body HATED being pregnant, especially my digestive tract. Good thing I only had two bambinos and they were eight years apart. It was torturous!!!!

  • Liz

    At 40 I plan to never be pregnant again, but I was one of those radiant pregnant ladies. I got so much energy by the second trimester that I could have conquered small countries. Maybe even large ones. And the horny hormone surge was insane. Great skin, great hair, great nails. I never looked better. By the time the bump was no longer “cute”, my mood took a 180-degree about face. But the months leading up to it were great.

  • The niffer

    Oh honey, I feel your pain. That was me for the first few months. Things were much better after I went on Diclectin – it’s a fun combo drug we have in Canada that’s a mix of vitamin B and some sleeping med used in the U.S.

    It made me functional enough to be vertical but the trade off is sleepiness.