• http://keeponsmyelin.blogspot.com/ Nico Blue

    Simpler times, simpler times…like before your kid went to school and you didn’t know what the School Council Committee was or even had the thought in your mind to join. Then you get sucked in and before you know it you’re helping in your kids class, doing Pizza and hotdog lunches, Healthy Snack program, math-a-thon and other fundraisers….all while thinking how have I been able to find the time to do all this when I could barely find time to do laundry before….yet I can’t stop because I LOVE that I get the chance to spy on my child at school…er, I mean help out with furthuring his education. Ah yes, simpler times! Guess we’ll all be sleeping on our two week old sheets for yet another night (or maybe it’s three…I’ve lost count).

  • Noelle

    Um yeah. From one tall nerd, to one small one… GO US!!
    I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from a book about MDR-TB (aka multi-drug resistant TB). Yes, really. And sometimes I go reread my anatomy/physiology and exercise physiology textbooks. It’s good to be a nerd. And to borrow from an Oscar-nominated song: It’s Hard Out There For a Nerd.
    Yes, it is, but I turned out okay. And I think you and Jon did too – so maybe Leta has a fightin’ chance.
    Keep on keepin’ on!

  • Lknamaste

    And then you have the 2nd child, let’s say a one year-old now. The three year-old has a playdate and, that night at midnight (because that’s the time for which they are automatically set), the same NOISE suddenly goes off in the ONE YEAR-OLD’s ROOM!!! If you’re lucky, you’ll have a sleeper who actually sleeps through the NOISE. Of course, you still have to get your ass out of bed, tiptoe into the baby’s room and turn the damn thing off! I say ban playdates!

  • Becky

    I don’t usually comment but I had to on this post. First off I love reading your website. It makes me laugh daily and I appreciate it. On that note I too was the child reading fluently before entering kindergarten. I embrace my dork side and love reading but don’t worry I love trashy tv like the best of them. It makes me happy to see that you’re cultivating the love of reading in Leta. It scares me to know that a lot of people I know don’t read and that it seems to be the trend not the exception.

  • Anonymous

    I haven’t read through all the comments, but I hope I’m not the only one wondering about your friend’s new baby? Name? Pics? Mother and baby both doing ok? :)

  • trippy
  • http://www.thechildrensbookreview.com Bianca Schulze

    Too funny!! Tell her teacher to check out my blog for some extra book suggestions for Leta.

  • Julie

    This is my first time posting on here (and my first visit!). I just finished your book “It Sucked……” and loved it. In fact I was laughing out loud at the gym (while reading and running at the same time, so I looked doubly goofy)at your description of “the procedure” 7 months after you had your baby. Anyway, I can identify with your alarm clock method–we did the exact same thing with our older son–NO GETTING OUT OF BED UNTIL THE FIRST NUMBER IS SEVEN!

  • Chrissy

    Oh my gosh … sooo funny. Thanks for sharing. And everything you wrote about playdates is sooo true!

  • http://www.motherhooduncensored.net Motherhood Uncensored

    Yes, you’re right Jenny. Technology is out to get us and steal the minds of our children.

    On that note, you could always start her on reading blogs.

  • Jennifer

    And having two kinds is like having a permanent play date.

  • http://www.theparentingmyth.blogspot.com Joy-McG

    Excellent idea Motherhood Uncensored!

  • Anonymous

    Im co-dependent on my alarm. I use it as back up to my dog who wakes me up at 6 am each morning. I hit the snooze bar and the dog gets mad at me. Years ago when I was a senior in college, I nearly failed a final presentation which was held on a Saturday for a class in my major. I thought I set the alarm for 8 AM. It didnt go off. The professor said the doors would be locked at 9AM and you’d fail the class. 8:45 I woke up in a panic realizing the alarm didnt go off. I high tailed it across campus and made it in time. Mind you I looked as if I rolled out of bed (I did) and was not in a suit like I should have been. It was a trade off. The alarm clock will be your friend. Just be careful of alarm clocks at disney world… They are done in the voice of Jiminy Cricket. Highly annoying when you have an early morning flight.

  • http://www.kari-and-caleb.blogspot.com Kari

    “At one point I was like, wait a minute, how did you guys manage to get this box of games down from the top of your closet, Leta? She didn’t say a word and instead slowly tilted her head to the side while slyly turning up the corners of her mouth. And I knew instantly that I should just carry on with my life without being burdened by the answer to that question. I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys.”

    Love it! I (like many of your newer readers I’m sure) started visiting your site after your Oprah appearance. I’m expecting my first (a boy…I fully expect to have many exchanges like this) this August.

    Thanks for writing it’s a blast to read!

  • http://www.blogobeth.com Beth

    You are so lucky to not have boys. Don’t get me wrong – I’m madly in love with my son and adore him down to his tiny toes – BUT. Has Leta ever washed her face in the toilet? Has Leta ever set EVERY alarm clock in the house to midnight? Has Leta ever stuck a paper clip into an electrical outlet? Yea, I didn’t think so

  • Catherine

    My mum credits Sesame Street with teaching me to read as well… I was reading at three (mum initially thought she had a genius child but eventually realised that I just liked books!!).

  • FreakishlyTallMom

    First, I just want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a “HAPPY I-Finished-Reading_Every-Single-Archived-Entry Day” I found Dooce.com the day Oprah’s special on “The Secret Lives of Moms” aired and I have been hooked since. The only logical thing I could think to do was to go back and read everything on the site so I wouldn’t miss anything! I love that I am not caught up, however, now I won’t have endless hours of reading Dooce to take up my day….I may have to start masturbating during naptime again…darn! Anyway, Heather, I just want to say that Leta is an absolutely amazing child and I congratulate you on the upcoming arrival of Not-Maria!!! I will be a loyal reader of your blog for LIFE!!!

  • http://www.lillyslife.com Lilly

    A real Nerd reads software books for bedtime reading – like my you nephew. He is a MEGA NERD at 8.

  • Stephanie

    Very funny story! I wish I could remember the first time I had to use an alarm clock…simpler times indeed. Once my niece spent the night with me, and when my alarm clock went off the next morning, she came running in from the next room screaming and crying because she thought it was a tornado siren. We live in Missouri – I am 34 and have never seen a tornado – my niece is 9 and apparently has a much better idea of how terrifying they are…to my knowledge she’s never been in the eye of one either, but she could have fooled me that morning!
    It’s great that Leta is such a reader, I would be psyched too. Nice work! :)

  • Robyn

    Totally understand “THAT NOISE”, mine just happens to be the sound of door knobs opening doors….oh no, they’re up!!!!!!

  • http://nikkiandnat.blogspot.com nikki

    There are at least 2 commercials that have the exact alarm noise that my alarm clock makes… and every time it’s on TV my blood pressure goes through the roof. Hopefully THAT NOOOOIIISE won’t haunt Leta forever!

  • RichardK

    Your columns are great. Ignore the idiots who flame you. If you ever stop writing, I’ll go to SLC and kick your bony (cute) ass.

  • http://maybeinutah.blogspot.com Mari

    My littlest geek is in Jazz Band, so now we have to get up at 5:30 am! Sleep while you can ; )

  • Kate

    Hilarious story! I, too, was a nerdy, bookworm kid. I could read for hours and hours on end. I totally remember that feeling RIGHT before I started to read. I was desperate to read…so desperate that I drove my parents crazy by making them read every road sign on the highway to me in the car. When I started to read, I couldn’t get over the feeling of how cool I thought it was to just be able TO read. Fast-forward 20 years later…now I’m a kick-ass librarian and it’s my job to be nerdy. and I love it. Rock on, nerds.

  • http://emandbdog.blogspot.com/ Emilie Campbell

    I’d give anything for Katie to WANT to wake up in the morning. Getting her up for 9:15 kindergarten, she acts like she’s 16 and I’m waking her up for early morning seminary. And stop complaining that you’re huge. ‘Cause you’re not. And be glad you don’t have to wear maternity garments. Then you’d really have something to complain about. Cry me a river, lady!

  • http://www.shmoo2.blogspot.com AprilMay

    “My Little Nerd” is cute! I still call my 16 year old, “Genius Boy”. I love that he’s a nerd. It makes life so much easier.

  • Savanah

    Muwhahaha, THAT noise.
    Haunts us aaallllll.

  • http://www.thegirlmama.com/ Nicole Duclos

    Oh how I hope my daughter becomes a nerd! Every day I get down on my knees in the hopes that my daughter will become a physicist or an engineer or something really nerdy and wonderful like that. Ha ha! And I’m so glad to hear that I’m not evil for letting my 19 month-old watch Sesame Street. Some people tell me I’m evil for that.

  • http://www.catchick6creations.com/ Elizabeth

    One of the best bits of advice I ever received….get a nightlight..a nice big one..that is very obvious when it is on….not one that is triggered by the dark…anyway…connect it to a timer…tell your child that when the night light is on…it is bedtime…when the night lite goes off…it is time to get up! It works perfectly and here is a secret…if you want to sleep in a little late one morning..just change the timer settings!

  • Pam

    My daughter was doing the same thing – asking every morning (middle of the night) if it was time to wake up yet. we tried putting a digital clock by her bed but then she would just say I SEE A 6 I SEE A 6 and it would be like 3:06. So my friend told me about this night light It’s a little pricey but it actually works. It looks like a moon at night and you set it to turn into a sun in the morning and that’s how they know it’s ok to get up.

  • http://d2dmad.blogspot.com/ Dani

    Ah parenthood anoying but fraught with humor.

    I laugh because I’ve been there sista!

  • http://shmaytalk.blogspot.com Taylee

    I think it’s funny how people find themselves “cool” to be first to comment on your blog. But besides that I liked the post, it was humorous and the end brought upon the visual of you and Jon huddled in the tub, crying and rocking back and forth, praying that the drug bust on the roof went Ok. Funny.

  • http://professionalcritic.blogspot.com Professional Critic

    Reading rules. Alarm clocks suck. Leta is coming to these enduring truths early in life. A blessing and a curse.

  • Marian

    My goodness, my dear, just when I thought your talent could not grow one more inch, BAM, you go and post a great glimpse like this and I am ever amazed. (as you can tell from that runon sentence, the horrid spelling and poor, if any puncuation, I am truly in awe of you every day)

    Your little ones and heck you too (why not, we’ll break open the gin and tonic in the back yard) are welcome over for a playdate anytime.

    I love your mind and am glad you share its workings on a daily basis…
    okay, I’ve got a girl crush and I definately need to get out more

  • Nicole

    So you have a reader. Good for you! Readers are usually very smart.

  • http://www.CookingSchoolConfidential.com CookingSchoolConfidential.com

    I am so with your daughter – I say exactly the same thing every morning when my alarm goes off to get me out of my nice warm bed and on my way to my chilly and half empty culinary school (and, somehow, the steel prep tables at cooking school seem a whole lot colder than those scratched wooden desks at regular school).

    There has to be a more civilized way to do live!


  • http://www.theworkathomewoman.com Holly – The Work at Home Woman

    I love the alarm clock idea, I will have to remember that for when my daughter gets older. She currently sleeps with us because she has night-mares all the time. I can’t even remember what it is like to sleep a whole night through.

  • Amy

    As a mom of TWO boys, one is seven and the other is two, that statement says it all! Just wait until she teaches the youngest to do all the dirty work!

  • Anonymous

    “I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys.”

    No, it does not. As a mother of three boys, I will tell you that you learn very quickly not to ask.

  • Anonymous

    My 6 year old daughter and her best friend spent a recent afternoon pasting fallen feathers from a dress up boa to her bedroom walls with Vicks Vapor Rub…. AAHH playdates. On the bright side, my husbands chronic winter cold cleared up overnight.

  • http://www.parsingnonsense.com Parsing Nonsense

    Wow, giving her a clock to help her figure out what time it is when she wakes up at night is very clever! I’ll have to remember that idea someday…

  • http://beautyinallthings.wordpress.com/ Cherry Blossom

    We had to put an alarm clock in my daughters room around that age too. We wrote a big 7 on a piece of paper and pasted it up on the wall above the clock to remind her of what a 7 looks like. The problem was she would come at when there was any 7 showing…like say, 4:07 or 2:57. We put duck tape over the last 2 numbers to solve that problem in hurry.

  • http://thecitycradle.com Thecitycradle

    Great story. I have to admit I had a little excited moment thinking that one day these babies of mine will actually be able to look at a clock, and tell the time, and not get out of bed until the correct time.

    Now if someone could just teach that to babies…

  • http://mlbornstein.blogspot.com/ Meredith

    Two days ago my four-year-old showed her playmate her anatomy book, pointing out where your urine is stored. At least it was a break from princess play. I love nerds.

  • http://www.crustybeef.blogspot.com CRUSTYMOM

    HA! How right you are Dooce Momma, how right you are..

    glad she had fun!!

    Did they bug you for snacks constantly?

  • Jennifer

    We have twin 5 year old girls so we have “Play Date Aftermath” everyday — ;o) Count your blessings now – just wait until your #2 & your #1 play together & pull everything out every day!!

  • Abby in MA

    A teacher I work with had an AMAZING idea to keep her 5 year old in bed in the morning…..

    Small Christmas lights on a timer!! She’s not allowed to come out of her room until the lights turn on in the morning. =)

    Genius, no?

  • Dawn

    My five year old future nerd is also reading (so is her best friend, which is nice). Her preschool has a kindergarten and the kindergarten teacher and librarian have been great about working with them to find books that are a little challenging for their reading level but not so long that they get discouraged before finishing, etc. At any rate, my daughter has been reading the “Magic Schoolbus” series for the past couple weeks and they’ve been pretty good. We also have her read story books out loud at night to her 18 month old sister and we’ve started reading longer books (the Little house series, for example) with her, one chapter at a time.

    I am totally with Leta about THAT NOISE.

  • con

    I totally get the proud reader parent, I feel the same way about my 6 year old who is working his way through the Harry Potter books. But I don’t go the my little nerd route, now that he is in school we have to play it really low key about how everyone is good at something blahblahblah. So they don’t turn into superior little sh*&s ya know.

  • cattitude

    I have always loved your blog, and smiled at the many adventures of Leta and your adorable family.
    Today I have a tear rolling down my face as I type this, because for the last six months I have been through a living hell with my 16 year old son, who used to do the many adorable things Leta is now doing. I’m a single parent, my ex husband is pretty much useless in his “help” either financially or emotionally. My son fell into a “bad crowd” before Christmas, and I have tried everything in my power to reach him, get him help, communicate with him, but it has spiralled into a hellhole into which he was arrested a month ago for shoplifting, and then again for doing drugs outside the school during lunch last Thursday and possession of marijuana. He was suspended from school for 5 days, and has to do a drug program through the police. I almost wish the consequences could be scarier as it doesn’t seem to have fazed him one bit. I’m heartbroken when I still see the boy I adore and am so proud of inside this stranger who now finds it acceptable to call me a “stupid b—–” and last night told me to “s— his d—” I can’t believe he can be so disrespectful and I’ve been crying non-stop for days.
    So heartbroken.
    One minute he’s running to me with a picture of a unicorn he drew for me and it seems like the next he’s smoking a bong twenty yards from the school.
    I hope for your sake, Leta never changes.