• Kristi

    All I can say is I wish *MY TWELVE-YEAR-OLD* son would sit in a corner reading books for 3 hours!
    And “I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys” hits the nail right on the head. *sigh*

  • http://www.soeursdujour.com Kath

    Imagine how hard her little heart must have been pounding when the alarm went off! Poor kid. Congratulations on having a reader … I wish there was enough time for me to read all the books I want to read or if we could just drink them then I could consume them faster. Have a great weekend.

  • http://www.bellystory.blogspot.com/ Belly Girl

    I think it’s going to be SO interesting when the new babe descends upon your life. Leta is going to teach that baby some seriously insane things. You’ll walk into her bedroom in like 3 years and they’ll be hunched over boiling vials, rubbing their little hands together like the sneaky scientists they will become. And you will need to back…..out…..slowly…..

  • http://www.alexawesome.com Alex Awesome

    You know you’re evolving as an alarm snoozer when you realize you’ve hit snooze twice not because you’re tired, but because you just don’t care about getting to work on time. Laying in bed for an extra twenty minutes is so worth living with bad hair for one day.

    Who am I here to impress, anyway? My cubicle? I think not.

  • Kristal

    This is the perfect opportunity to introduce her to the Sonic Boom Alarm Clock that I sent ya months ago! Hahahahah

  • http://saltyspoon.com Bria

    When she’s old enough that you don’t mind her asking what it means to “make a two-backed beast”, try Gargantua and Pantagruel. It’s long, very funny, full of fart jokes and the best, best, best insults. I mean, can you think of a better way to describe a kid:

    “For he was a fine boy, had a burly physiognomy, and almost tenchins. He cried very little, but beshit himself every hour: for, to speak truly of him, he was wonderfully phlegmatic in his posteriors, both by reason of his natural complexion and the accidental disposition which had befallen him by his too much quaffing of the Septembral juice.”

  • http://comingorleaving.blogspot.com D

    When I had to wake up before my ex-girlfriend I’d go into the kitchen and put a tea kettle on to boil. I’d then come back to my bed room and read the news until the water was boiling for coffee. One time the whistle of the kettle woke her up but she was obviously still half asleep. She rolled over and groaned and then said “Noiiiise. Noise!” I found it hilarious.

  • Jane

    “I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys.” I have one of those boys. He is only 15 months old now and such a handful, I can only imagine what the next 17 years will bring.

  • http://callipygianchronicle.wordpress.com Yolanda

    Wow. It just occurred to me that Leta is probably going to kindergarten this Fall. THIS Fall?! Wow. And the registration is usually right about now, no? I hope you’ll have a post soon telling us what that’s like.

    (I finished your book last night. I just felt so proud of you when I was through. No other words for it, because with al these years of reading the story was very familiar; but I was very proud hold in my hands the result of all of your hard work here.)

  • Tracey

    There are no words to describe how much you rock at times. I just adore your writing.

  • http://downsized76.wordpress.com Tina

    I hope my future children are little nerds. I was one as a child, although when I was in 4th grade and reached for Alex Haley’s Roots because it looked like it was long enough to entertain me for awhile, my mom started forcing me into more outdoor activities. Be careful with the encyclopedia reading though–that coupled with seeing part of Jaws on TV gave me a lifelong anxiety around water (including swimming pools) out of fear that a shark would eat me.

  • Alicia

    I was one of those “give me books or give me death” kids. And when I was a teen and “sassed” my mom, she grounded me from BOOKS for a whole week!
    Let’s just say it works in case you are collecting arsenal for the future.

  • http://faydean.typepad.com amy j.

    I love your Leta stories since us moms all know all too well what you’re talking about with these kinds of situations. I can’t believe she woke up to it! Both of mine slept through our burglar alarm going off about a month ago at 1 a.m. I nearly broke my neck going down the stairs to shut it off…they never even budged. I wasn’t sure if I should be ecstatic or very worried about their hearing.

    Just today I wrote this on Facebook about my seven-year-old.

    This morning as I was brushing her hair before school, Sarah told me she needed a new backpack. I told her we’d get her a new one for next school year since there are only three more weeks left of school.

    She said, “You’ll have to help me pick it out…I know you don’t like Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers and stuff on them, right?”

    Me: “Nope. I wish they had ones with like the Beatles…the Ramones or the Pixies on them.”

    Sarah: “Pixies? Like Tinkerbell? Cuz they have those.”

    Me: “NO. Oh, nevermind, I’ll just wait until you’re in high school…you’ll be begging me for one then.”

  • http://decoraddict.blogspot.com/ Trina

    I’m trying to contain my histerical laughter in the middle of my conservative office.

    Simpler times. I miss those!

    My alarm is my husband’s cell phone that my 7-month pregnant body cant reach so he’s now used to my morning beatings and my own version of “THAT NOOOISEE!!!!!”. SHUT IT OFF!!!!

  • http://kitkat4real.blogspot.com Katherine SOLOdotmom

    Aaaah, reading… good for Leta! And yes that alarm will begin to be the very noise that she detests if she loves her morning sleep as much as I do… Even now when it goes off, sometimes my brain does a double take and it says… no that’s not an alarm, it’s just your imagination… pay it no mind… ignore it, and it will go away!!!!

    Great blog – love ya Dooce… really do.

  • Lynn

    That dreaded noise..ugh! I will always cherish the day my daughters learned how to use their own alarm clocks.

  • Julia

    Nerds rock. I hope to birth future nerds one day.

  • http://domestiquette.net Wendy

    Wait. You actually allowed comments on a post again?

    And there are ONLY 26 comments ahead of me (as I type; probably 60 people are also typing RIGHT NOW)? Usually I’m somewhere past 600.

    THIS is the second horse of the Apocalypse. I’m getting worried.

  • http://www.lorenadavis.blogspot.com Lorena

    Haha first time commenter. I loved this post. I was totally a Leta when I was a kid (since I’m so old now that I’ve reached 18). I identify completely with the little girl who loves to read and to learn. My family and teachers had a hard time keeping me stocked with reading material. But I grew up and now watch hours and hours of America’s Next Top Model, so I think it all balances out in the end. :)

  • nelking

    As a mother of two teenage boys, I find little boys are compelled to answer any question you pose, and odds are pretty good it’s the truth. They take longer to get to the smile and stay quiet stage.

  • Doggy

    Jeeze your posts are getting boring.

  • http://www.any-hoot.blogspot.com Amanda

    Your Leta and My Alexandrea would get along Just Great!! She hasnt put down her Animal Encyclopedia since she got it.

  • http://breakfasttiffany.blogspot.com DTDorrin

    I love stories about Leta and how perfectly you describe your everyday life with her and Jon (and Chuck and Coco too). I’m sure years from now we’ll all be benefiting from Leta’s incurable nerdiness.

  • http://daddyscratches.com Daddy Scratches

    I have often said to my lovely bride that it astounds me to think there once was a time when we would wake at the hour of our choosing on a Saturday or Sunday morning and speak the words, “So, what would you like to do today, honey?” “I don’t know, honey; what would YOU like to do?”

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

  • Cherie

    lol Thanks for that! I am having a hard time typing this because I am still laughing imagining your sweet Leta. We have a little one who cant resist the buttons on the TV. Especially the one that when pushed causes the volume to increase a thousand decibels and catapults said child across the room in the same hair and arms panic. I have to hang my head feigning disappointment (because this is what good parents do when they are disciplining…right?) to hide the smirk I cannot resist making when I see that utter panic on his sweet face….I am going to hell!

  • http://domestiquette.net Wendy

    Wait. Maybe I meant “horseman” and not “horse”. I’m not sure.

    Don’t mock me. I’m running fever. And so are both kids. I’m too screwed up to even comment on how great it is to be a nerd, and be raising nerd children.

    Or how hard it is to be two giant nerds & be raising one nerd & one non-nerd. And have to stuff down the commentary about how we really need to be actually answering the questions on the test, not drawing butterflies on the test. And that yes, you do have to actually DO the test to prove you know the answers, because thinking, “I already know all this” is not a good reason to draw butterflies instead.

    And to have a 5 year old who can read just as well as the 8 year old, and to know it’s not a matter of brains but a matter of having no give-a-damn when it comes to school.

    And now I’m rambling and must go back to bed. *snore*

  • http://studio3dee.blogspot.com Dee

    My little nerd fight is getting her to put the books away at night so “That Horribblee” noise in the morning won’t rip her out of bed in morning. She was reading at 3 and at 10 is working on her first novel this summer to earn her own spending money. Some kids sell lemonade, mine sells words. Kudo’s and Way to go Leta!

  • Jacki

    My daughter learned her alphabet from Sesame Street also, read fluently by kindergarten, and yesterday found out she has a full scholarship for her Jr & Sr year in college……
    GO NERDS!!

  • Kate

    This post is hilarious! I wake up almost every morning because of that damn NOISE…

  • http://michaelgrace.blogspot.com Vanessa

    That noise was the worst part of my days for many years. It is soon a part of my day again, but now at least I’ll have a cute story to think of.

    And I can’t imagine it would wake my sleeping monsters. They slept through a fire alarm once.

  • http://bilateralhaze.wordpress.com/ Lara

    These occurrences go on in our house on a daily basis; having four kids ranging in age from 2 to 13 is like living with the Eight Is Enough clan on an acid trip.

  • http://tinyapple.wordpress.com katie

    our daughter can work the alarm clock better then either of us. scary. and i’m damn proud she’s growing into a little nerd, too.

    my parents forced me to complete a read-a-thon of their own devices when i was 9 so i could get my 10-speed bike. i was on my 3rd of 4th go of all the nancy drews in the library and they were concerned i’d never read anything else…so i had to read so many autobiographys, so many non-fiction, etc. till i reached a certain number of pages and then i got my bike. worked like a charm, i think i earned that bike in a fraction of the time they expected!

  • http://www.grumblesandgrunts.com Jamie

    Thanks for embracing your nerd. I lived through YEARS of my mother complaining that it wasn’t *natural* or *healthy* for a girl to read so much, and wouldn’t I much rather play dolls with the girl next door? Nope. You’d think she would have been happy, but no. Rock on Leta!

  • http://coconutbelly.blogspot.com jen

    i beg my youngest, cora, to just watch 10 minutes of tv. please! she won’t … instead pulls EVERY book off the shelf “reading” …
    my oldest, stella, told me “5 more minutes … puh-leez” … this morning when i attempted to wake her up. seriously … the life of a five year old.
    my favorite part though?? “and we sort of forgot how that one extra little body can increase the blast radius of destruction by about a thousand percent”
    no kidding.

  • Marla

    That is my reaction every morning when my alarm clock goes off. I never understand what that noise is!

  • http://simplyblissful.blogspot.com/ tracy

    I hope that I can instill in Ellis (turning 1 on Sunday) that it is cool to be nerdy, that those are the people who are going to make it in life. Although, if her propensity to examine in great detail everything that comes into her line of sight is any indication of her future nerdiness, I think we’ll be okay. And if at age 1, her desire to put things away (where they actually belong) is any indicator, I think I’m also raising a little clean freak. And I couldn’t be happier.

  • http://csquaredplus3.typepad.com Chris

    A little nerd is much better than a little hooker. Lots of those, these days.

    We miss “SIMPLER TIMES” too – fighting over who had to clean up the mess the morning after the “Bloody Mary” party I thought was such a great idea. V8 stains EVERYTHING.

    Hope you’re feeling well. Take care.

  • Caitlin

    I hope someday I have a couple nerds of my own. And maybe a cheerleader to balance it out :)

  • http://www.barefootkitchenwitch.com jayne

    Oh, it’s such a good thing Leta and my daughter are separated by many, many miles! The chaos they could create! My daughter, who turns 5 next month, has given me that same sly, tilted-head smile when I ask her how something happened. I’ve also got a son, and you know, I don’t think I get that response from him half as much as I get it from her. She’s the one who, last summer when she was shorter, put a step stool on top of a dining room chair so she could climb up to the counter and get the sunscreen off the top of the fridge. And apply it herself, to her own face and body AND the chair. And then deny it completely.

    It’s never dull, is it?

  • http://www.diapermonologues.com/ mrs.notoching

    The first time that happened my father grabbed the alarm clock and smashed it into the wall. I have been doing the same thing ever since.

  • http://gjerninger.blogspot.com/ Gjerninger

    Woman, sometimes you almost make me wet myself, when I’m in fits of laughter. (And I don’t even have a problem with incontinence.) I’d love to have a daughter half as awesome as yours some day. (PS. long time readerfan, first time commenter, and all that jazz.)
    If you didn’t exist, I think I’d have to make you up. :)

  • http://marriageconfessions.com Chris

    I generally try to hit the snooze 4-5 times before getting up… I don’t know why, thats just the routine. My wife hates me for that. :)

  • Terri V

    Oh the sweet memories this brings back as a mother of a now 22 yr old daughter who at 18 months old thought a box w/ JCPENNEY on it said JEOPARDY and I thought she might have a learning disability! Silly me…and nights when i couldn’t get her to go to sleep because there was NOTHING in the house to read. Such problems.

  • Scottsdale Girl

    Honestly I had to change my alarm to a soft radio noise because THAT NOISE it makes otherwise would give me a fecking heart attack.

  • http://fragilelily.livejournal.com/ Andrea

    I was a total bookworm growing up, too. My mother had to force me to hang out with classmates from school every so often, and all I wanted to do was sit at home by myself and read!! To be honest, I think my love of reading helped instill a sense that it is OK to be by yourself every so often. I know many people who need to always be with someone else, or in social situations. As for myself, give me a night in by myself and a book and I’m happy as a clam.

    I can almost guarantee that you are going to have to battle her to stop reading and turn off the light when it’s far past her bedtime when she gets a bit older, if you aren’t already!

  • http://hallesophia.blogspot.com Raezin

    If my daughter ever decided to skip the movies for a special about the Mayans that would mean only one thing…. the relatives have converted my daughter with their crafty MORMON ways!!!

  • Helen

    Eli ( 5) had a playdate here last week, after 25 minutes Isaac ( 7) said ” Why? Why would anyone want to do this? I want you to know that having other kids here is not fun, let’s not do it again OK?” ( yes, very OK)
    Today Elijah came home bereft saying ” Owen said he is never EVER coming to my house again” to which I relpied ” and he is RIGHT! We are never EVER inviting him again, be sure to tell him that!”

  • http://nikkiandnat.blogspot.com nikki

    Ahhh we dodged a bullet I think since we’re having a girl! And given the nerdiness of my hubs and I, we’re getting a reader, too. But now I’m stressed about playdates… the thought of someone else’s kids waking me up on the weekend – EGADS.

  • Meg

    Right after we bought a new alarm clock, my 10 month old son discovered he could reach it, flip the switches and smash the buttons. We didn’t think anything of it until the alarm started going off at 3am that Saturday night. Somehow he had found the exact combinations of buttons to not only turn on, but set the alarm. So I know exactly how Leta feels.

  • http://www.swedishpankakes.blogspot.com Amanda

    Sesame Street taught me the alphabet, too!!

    I swear by it.