An unscheduled ultrasound
Yesterday I had a routine 35-week check-up with my OBGYN, and because my belly had not grown significantly in the last three to four weeks she ordered an ultrasound for this morning so that we could take a look at the size of the baby and the level of amniotic fluid. She seemed a tiny bit concerned, but said that it could just be that the baby had changed positions or something similarly benign. I tried not to worry too much and resisted asking Google what the hell could be wrong with my baby, because you know what Google would say, right? YOU AND YOUR BABY ARE GOING TO DIE, and here is the Wikipedia entry telling you exactly how and why. With pictures and diagrams and links to estate planning.
I had a hard time sleeping, and not just because Leta was up at 2 AM fretting about spiders. For hours I worked through scenarios in my head: what if? And then what? Because you're constantly hearing stories as a pregnant woman that start out with a circumstance as simple as this one and in the end both the mother and the baby have to have a heart transplant. Like, yeah, my doctor thought I was measuring small, and then three weeks later I woke up in Sri Lanka with a hangover and the severed foot of a wild boar tied around my neck.
And then when I did finally fall asleep I had nothing but crazy baby dreams, one in particular in which the ultrasound technician accidentally ruptured my bag of water. In less than an hour I dilated from a zero to a ten, and before they could call my doctor the baby's head was coming out — a head full of blonde, hair-sprayed curls tied into a ponytail with a patriotic scarf — and next thing you know I've given birth to a 17-pound baby who can speak in sentences. And instead of reaching out to hold her, I lean over the side of the bed and start puking green beans.
WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN SMOKING?
Turns out that you can't trust measuring tape, because the ultrasound indicates that the baby is measuring almost five days larger than her actual gestational age. In fact, the technician had to measure her head almost four times because it kept saying her head was almost as big as the head of a baby three weeks older than she is. And I'll just go ahead and tell you that my reaction to that news was less a sense of relief and more of an OUCH.
Also, amniotic fluid looks normal and they estimate she already weighs six pounds. The doctor says it's probably a combination of the way I'm carrying the baby plus my height that makes it seem like my belly is smaller than it should be. I'm now to carry on as if nothing ever happened, and to help with that directive they gave me the cutest ultrasound pictures of her face. I have to say, from these scans she looks a lot like Leta, although her mouth is a little more Hamilton than Armstrong:
EEEEK! THERE'S A BABY IN THERE! Talk about uncontrollable crying! The technician was all, are you okay? And I was all SHE HAS A FAAAAAAACE!
Speaking of crazy dreams, Leta loves to talk to us about her own, and this one was good enough to share with you:
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
304. Kaylyn said:
I am so glad to see that your baby has a face. I hate it when babies don't have faces! :)
305. Jeanne said:
Am I the only one who can't detect a baby face in those pictures? I do see some features on the left side of the top pic that have disturbingly clownish features.
Probably just me because I can't find Jesus in my cornflakes, either.
306. Julia said:
Great news Heather! My midwife always flipped the measuring tape over so that she couldn't see the number. She felt that this gave her a less biased measurement since she knew how big I should measure. It is always scary when docs have even the tiniest concern, makes you want to go and gestate in a hut somewhere.
307. Katy said:
Dear Vera,
It is so heart breaking to hear that a person as clever as yourself is jumping out of the gene pool! Please reconsider, we need more small minded, petty, hateful, whack jobs in the world!
Hugs and kisses you wily coyote!
308. Candice said:
I always feel like I don't wanna have kids, until I hear about yours. I can't wait to see how Leta reacts to her new baby sister!
309. Nina said:
I was going to say how I measured small and gave birth to a giant.
But then I read some comments on my way down the page and, man. I just wanted to commend you on how brave it must be to post personal stories despite some truly terrible things people say.
Your experiences have helped me tremendously the last few years and I thank you for doing it every day.
310. Robyn said:
Someone may have already mentioned it before, but there is no doubt in my mind that your new baby girl is going to share your love of music given the appearance of the tiny little boombox in your first ultrasound pic.
311. Buffy said:
Had the same thing happen to me except my amniotic fluid was low and they induced me right away. Here's the kicker: I was already 3 cm dilated. She came out full grown instead of preemie...Gee. Ya think they screwed up my due dated a little?!?
By the way: love the blog AND your bathroom!
312. Mommy's Battleship said:
I absolutely love your Leta stories, it makes me look forward to my son talking when he gets older... instead of dreading that he picks up the worst phrases in the world yet cannot say to me, "I have to potty".
And I'm glad to hear the baby is good! Though, my reaction to bigger than normal at this stage... would be OUCH too. Epidural times 10 please?
313. The Football Wife said:
Does the baby gain one pound per week in the last month? I've forgotten already... Here's to a healthy Armstrong baby!
314. casabyALBA said:
Leta is adorable!
315. tracylea said:
both your ladies are adorable. I to had a prego dream about my curly headed new born who could speak with me. But, no, it was not a premonition as Aurora has neither red curls nor green eyes.
I was very impressed that Leta has not yet learned the "like..." approach to speaking, however her pauses made me strain to not insert them for her :)
316. Dana said:
Leta is so cute. :) and what a relief!
I see several people commenting about what the new baby has with her in utero - and I'm on board with that, but I'm pretty sure it's a chain belt. She's accessorizing people!
317. Jen said:
I am thinking, when she is older, like a teenager, she may scream at you for posting such moments. Glad the little girl inside of you is growing even bigger than thought.
318. Betsy said:
Wait. Come to think of it, children ARE disgusting, aren't they? Along with funnel cakes, puppy kisses, the smell of rain, chai lattes and Cate Blanchett.
319. Jess said:
You poor thing. I've made the mistake of asking Google about running injuries and it sent me into complete paranoia and panic. I can't even begin to imagine what Google would do to a pregnant woman. Thank goodness everything is ok.
320. Negar said:
You are too funny! Thanks for the laugh =)
321. Blee6 said:
So you haven't enlarged significantly over the past couple of weeks? Children grow in spurts, a lot this month, a little next month - why does this not apply in-utero??
Congrats for surviving the allegedly learned doctors of the modern age....They are taught that anything considered an "outlier" (albeit temporarily) to their charts and grids warrants further investigation - they just don't want a malpractice suit with your name as plaintiff....
I was questioned every time I had an ultrasound about the date of conception because the baby was so big. I am big and tall - one look and you know I am not going to have a wee 5 lb baby - they adjusted my due date 3 times! Finally, a week before due date #2, water broke, 3:30am and off to the OR to purge 10lbs and 13oz of baby - to an amazed on-call Dr. who AGAIN asked if they miscalculated my due date - ARGH!!!
322. KarinGal said:
In the top ultrasound it looks like your baby is cuddling a stuffed owl on her lap. See it?!?
323. Pamela said:
I'm losing my miiiinnd.... hilarious. Adorable Leta.
324. yasmine said:
Ur kid is awesome. Like. . when she grows up she'll be someone u totally want to have a beer and talk madness with.
luCkY u!
xo
325. the mighty jimbo said:
i've spent five years selling the IT infrastructure for radiology pacs systems and 3D visualization software for radiology images and radiology archives and working with radiologists and rad techs and pacs administrators. i have gigabytes of radiology files on my computer. i've been to RSNA five times. and still, when i look at an ultrasound, all i see is a smudge.
(very glad she's healthy and complete with a face!)
326. Nicola said:
So glad Not Maria is ok! And what a good healthy weight she is already!!!! I was born at 6lbs! Looks like you're whizzing towards that finish line, good luck, breathe, pant whatevs xxxxx
327. Anonymous said:
Yeah, my abdomen was measuring small and then a 9lb 10oz monster is what actually came out of my vagina.
328. RockAByeDad said:
So Glad to hear all is well.
I swear, in the image labeled face...I see a wii mote tucked in there on the left side!
Little one must be having a blast in there!
329. Sarah said:
A big PHEW for you that everything is OK with the baby. I am 33 weeks along and at this stage of the game it is not nice to hear things from the DR. like, "Hmmmm, that probably isn't anything but let's just...."
Unlike you my belly is absolutely huge and they estimate the baby's weight to be in the 72nd percentile. Which makes me happy that she seems big and strong but also makes me say Sweet Holy God please let this baby not be born 10 pounds! :-)
Leta's dream video made me smile. ;-)
330. Dr Teen Advisor said:
I swear God made women carry babies because only women can handle the pressure -- mental and on the bladder. I wouldn't have been able to resist consulting the Great God Google, and I would have passed out with worry. Congratulate yourself for hanging in there and, if you like chocolate, indulge a little tonight. You deserve it.
331. Fabulox said:
docs aren't always right (read as they're often wrong). my 35 week ultrasound measured the baby at 6.5 lbs and a big head, made me fear i was gonna have a whopper... she came out at 8 lb 10oz natural, it was totally survivable. i wouldn't worry about it especially if you're getting an epidural.
hang in there and enjoy the psychosis, it won't last much longer.
332. Kate said:
Leta gets more and more beautiful every time you post a picture or video! Congrats on creating another gorgeous baby girl! Thank you for sharing.
333. Sarah said:
I'm pretty sure there's a toy car inside your uterus (top pic, middle left).
334. Anonymous said:
That's funny - my doctor was worried that my baby, at 9 weeks along - was too small. At birth he weighed 10 pounds and was 23 1/2 inches long and is now a 6'7" 15-year-old. Heck, what do doctors know...
335. Amy said:
OK, I really am super excited for a new Armstrong baby to come into this world and look forward to the surely endless stories to come about having a new baby and Leta in the same house, but I have a question based on your outside photos above this post: how in the world do you keep your lawn so beautiful with two big(ger) dogs running around and able to tear it up??? I too have two big dogs and can't make my lawn look even half as lush as yours. I want a nice place for my kid to romp around and looking at your lawn, I feel that I have utterly fallen on my duties in this area! HELP!
336. Kiley said:
THIS VIDEO HAS PROVED TO ME THAT LETA IS A LITTLE HEATHER! How she speaks, her gestures, her idiosyncrasies, all Heather.
I'm glad the baby is okay!
337. Erika said:
So glad everything is ok. When I went in for my 4D ultrasound, my son's head measured about 5 weeks ahead and of course they freaked me out saying he could have fluid on the brain. Turns out he just had a big head and is now four and a half and great. Sometimes I think nowadays we have WAY too much information!
338. Elizabeth said:
Leta has turned in to such a beautiful girl.
339. Rachel said:
Seriously, I think that doctors are there to freak us out! I found out last night that I am absolutely NOT pregnant, but my body has decided to go on a "Baby! Baby! Baby coming!" spree that turned out to be an ovarian cyst.
It ruptured last night, and it seems that the "pregnancy symptoms" should subside. You mean I'm going to lose the boobs?! Darn!! I was enjoying those! Though, the heartburn and nausea can go. I've got a yeast infection to boot.
Anyways, Heather, you're wonderful! Not-Maria looks GORGEOUS in there, and Leta is the cutest little thing! She's got quite the noggin' there, and an impressive one at that!
:-)
340. Anonymous said:
Hi...I rarely comment, but I had to jump in here. I'm a few weeks ahead of you and have had more ultrasounds than I can keep track of. 5? Anyway, it's the same reason...my belly measures small for dates, they flip out and order an ultrasound, baby turns out to be normal sized. I'm not -that- tall, but I've only gained about 25 lbs, which is actually what's supposed to be normal but, in our society today, is NOT the norm. I don't know if it's overly cautious doctors or if the doctors are seeing so many fat and obese women these days that their own perception is skewed but I'm here to say try not to worry! My insurance company is getting a bit snarky about paying for all the ultrasounds.
341. Rio Gringa said:
That's wonderful about the baby--for your sake I hope you're having a C section! I loved the video of Leta...it really made me miss being a kid. It was so nice to be so earnest and so excited about simple things.
342. Anonymous said:
So glad all is well! That is worrying no matter what your "mind" tells you, your "mind" is also inventing worst case scenarios as fast as it can!
343. Vanessa said:
I'm so glad to hear that the baby is ok! It's the worst feeling in the world to think there is something wrong the babe that has been growing inside you for months.
I had to go in for one when I had my first son, I remember not being able to sleep and eat until I got the "everything is fine" from my doctor!
344. Jaxon said:
I swear, I have been staring at the pictures forever and I cannot see anything that looks even remotely human much less a like a face, or a leg, or a body, or a baby. It's like staring at those stupid 3-D pics where people swear they see a dinosaur rising out of the mess or some such and I could never ever get it. I can't find the face in these pics either. Maddening.
345. Katya said:
Dooce, you crack me up. You really do.
that has nothing to do with anything except your censorship of Chuck's "parts".
rock on, dooce
346. Tammy at The Butterfly Mind said:
Glad that the doc was wrong and your u/s showed all is ok.
347. Brooke said:
Heh, the thing to the left of the face looks strongly like a videogame controller, specifically one for a Supernintendo. I guess then she takes after her father?
348. Megan Putman said:
Dude -
There's a viewmaster in there. Seriously. What did you eat in Chicago?
http://onceuponawin.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/win-pictures-viewmaster.jpg
She's gorgeous.
Megan in Chicago...who also had an odd amnio experience at 8 months and now chases a three-year old out of the landscaping when he pees.
349. Ray said:
Glad to read that everything’s okay with the baby. And Leta is adorable. I don’t know you but I think (by watching the video of her) she has a lot you in her. ;o)
350. Peggy said:
My step daughter emailed me yesterday telling me that her OB is concerned that the baby isn't gaining weight...so they've scheduled an ultra sound. Geez...
The Pregnant One is a nervous wreck! I told her not to worry...
And then I read your post on the very same thing!
It must be in the air...or it must only be about babies due in June?
351. Cassie said:
My goodness Leta is growing up so quickly. I blinked and she became hip-height! She tells wonderful stories. Takes after her mom :-)
352. Julie said:
I remember when that child was born and this, therefore, is making me feel really old. She's all growed up!
353. Suzy said:
Shades of the teenager to come. Too cute. My son also has to see every video we record. Every single video of our 9-month-old daughter is marred by a soundtrack of "I wanna see it. Can I see it? I want to watch the video." I'm glad to hear we're not the only ones.
354. Zinzy said:
My friend had an early delivery at 25 weeks because the baby had a 30% chance of surviving, and it scared me to death. For the past few days I've been too afraid to surf to dooce.com to find something terribly wrong with your baby girl. I'm glad everything's okay.
Leta gets cuter and prettier every single month!
355. Pay it Forward said:
cute little thing inside., it remind me of my prostrated niece. poor little angle.
356. EverydayGoddess - Gail said:
This is an exciting, scary time. Wishing you all the best of luck for an easy delivery and an easy baby!
357. Darren Sproat said:
A very inspiring read and watch (what a cutie)! Thanks for this post. Wishing you all the best. Regards,
Darren Sproat
358. dani said:
i had a dream once that i babysat leta. i woke up and i was like "OMG I JUST BABYSAT DOOCE'S CHILD."
i think it's because she's so darn cute, i just can't help but adore the kid! (& not maria has a FACE! yay!)
heather, you rock my friggin socks off, lady. don't ever stop writing!
best wishes,
dani
359. Erin said:
Dear American Apparel,
NO PREGNANT WOMAN WANTS TO LOOK LIKE THAT.
Dear Heather,
Think you're tops.
Carry on.
360. Paulo Pires said:
Excellent! Thanks.
361. Kay said:
Cute baby! I think she does have more of the Armstrong in her. Leta is going to be a great big sister telling her stories. I'm so happy for you and Jon.
362. Laura P said:
You wanna know what hacks me off with bump measurments and growth scans? When I was pregnant with my now almost 5 month son I was measuring 7-8 weeks bigger than I should be. I had numerous scans to check fluid and his size. They told me to expect an 11lb baby! They said at 34 weeks that he was already over 7lbs!
He was born by elective c section at 38+4 weighing in at, wait for it...8lbs 3.
Hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly and can not wait to see this little bundle of yours! And AWWWWWWWW at the scan photos of the FACE!
363. Anonymous said:
Leta is so smart and funny and beautiful.
I work with neglected kids all the time. The difference between them and Leta just shows that you and Jon are such amazing parents. Your two baby girls are so lucky to have you.
p.s. re: #300 - Does that commenter really hate his/her life THAT MUCH? SERIOUSLY?
364. S said:
Dear Heather,
So, As i was looking at your page, i noticed the rather cunningly placed ad by American apparel (the "yo mama!" one). Given the er...1980s exercise video stylishness of that particular outfit, i have to ask...would you actually wear that? Mainly i'm asking because i think your response would be absolutely hilarious, not in any way as an attack. Somehow you just don't seem the type to walk around in a bright blue onesie to celebrate your pregnancy :p
Loving your writing as ever,
S
365. Amy said:
Love your website and have for many years! Will you be doing a post about post-partum depression and dealing with that this time around with the second pregnancy? I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. I can't remember from the archives but were you medicated the first time around or did you start being propertly medicated after the first pregnancy as a result of the post-partum depression?
Love reading!
Amy
366. rb said:
When I was pregnant with my daughter my routine blood test showed low platelets, which indicates HELLP or liver failure and we were definitely both going to die so they put me in the hospital immediately and started treating me. Then they decided it might be good to re-check the blood. Normal platelet count. "OK never mind, you can go home now." My daughter was and is perfectly normal.
I understand where the docs are coming from since we are a bit nutty in this country with our medical malpractice lawsuits, but MAN do they freak us out.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, though. I love that you can see the baby's face and is that a cross section of her arm bones? (not a toy car) Cool!
367. Katherine said:
OK I've never commented before, but I have to share this with you:
I, too, am tall. At the end of my second pregnancy, my petite doctor looked me over and declared that she didn't think that the bump was growing as it ought, and that I should have an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician told me (at about 2 weeks before my due date) that the baby was measuring at over 9 lbs -- but not to worry, because "I always measure large. The baby won't really be that big." The baby was born a month later (15 days overdue - I was not interested in being induced unless the baby or I was in danger) and weighed ...........drum roll please........11 lbs!
Now that i've scared you to death, I will also say that the labor was infinitely easier than with my 8 lb 11 oz. daughter who arrived after about 21 hours of labor. The 11 pounder popped out about 1/2 hour after we arrived at the hospital. Our car was still sitting at the front door of the hospital with the flashers on....
I wish you a super easy labor, and a happy, healthy baby who sleeps alot!
368. diana said:
Oeh yes, those pregnancy standards. Dunno where they come from. From the land of topmodels I think.
During my first pregnancy, the baby was smaller than normal (follows one ultrasound after the other), then I got bitten by a tick - well...apparently I got bitten because I developed Borreliosis (sounds good nah? Antibiotics helped). So I did a full internet research on "Borreliosis during Pregnancy", and found there was only one registered case, and nobody really knew what it could do to your baby. Turnes out it makes pretty, intelligent and tall girls (or was that me?). Then during the second pregnancy there was practically no amniotic fuid. But that didn't matter as Miss A popped out within 30 minutes. Without a mess.
It's all good. You're going to have a spectacular delivery and a sweet baby. No doubt ;)
369. Lizzie Cohen said:
Bitch looks like a dogface even in the ultrasound. Too late to abort?
370. mrs.notouching said:
Any day now, any day now, Dooce! I am sending good vibes your way and hope to see pictures of Leta's sister soon. (((Hugs))) I know that deep deep deep inside you love when strangers hug you.
371. Jamie said:
I'm glad everything is OK with the baby! (and you) I have a very bad tendency to consult Dr. Google which is never a good idea if you are a worrier like me. It's like crack for the worry.
Leta is too cute. We we have the Tink and Cinderella versions of Leta's cup for my girls because I just know you are dying to add them to your collection! ;)
372. JennKstep said:
The last dream my five-year-old shared with me: she told me that the Jonas Brothers were making fun of her, sticking their tongues out at her. Kids are awesome, 'specially the princesses. >^.^<
373. Lana said:
I had the same thing happen to me at the same time in my pregnancy. I am 5'11 and was measuring small and not gaining weight. When my daughter was born, she was 8 pounds 7 oz. and has always measured in the 95th percentile for weight and height. She is now 20 months and weighs 32 pounds. I'm glad everything is going as it should! Can't wait to 'meet' your little girl!
374. Amber said:
I'm glad everything is okay.
I once googled broken toe since it was hurting like the dickens and Google told me that I may possibly lose my entire foot which made me panic and I would constantly ask my husband if he'd still love me if I only had one leg. I'm no longer allowed to Google.
Your daughter is adorable. My son was in the room when I watched the video and he swears that Leta is in his class. I explained that no, I think he's mistaken and he's all, "But she is Mommy, that's Emily and she sits next to Gabriel." My poor confused son.
375. Erin said:
My sister-in-law is due around the same time as you I believe. She is currently 32 weeks pregnant with TWIN girls! They are going to induce her around 37 weeks, as she has been on strict bedrest for 4 weeks now. They measured them this week and both weigh 4 lbs....it has been fun keeping up with your pregnancy through here and then seeing hers also. Best wishes for your pregnancy!
376. Kim said:
Hoping you have an easy and uneventful next few weeks and glad everything was okay.
I've been a reader for several years and never understood what it was you did to piss off so many people. Do you have an evil twin we don't know of, who goes around kicking puppies? I...just don't get it.
377. Lori Anderson said:
I'm glad all is well! We had a scare early on, and everything was fine, but we got to have an ultrasound every visit after that, "just in case", so I was secretly thrilled to see the little nugget more often!
378. EclecticBird said:
While I was pregnant I had to stop Googling for that very 'you are going to die' reason. At first I checked everything the doc said and then I finally imposed a temporary ban just to keep my sanity!
I'm glad everything is ok and can't wait to see videos of the newest cutie.
379. Monique Hester said:
It is the soulful eyes of Leta that just KILL me whenever I see a picture of that oldest child of yours. She is so cute I could take a bite! I'm sure the 2nd one will be just as special.
As a mother of 3 children, 24 yrs, 19 yrs and 5 yrs I can tell you that you WILL have your favorite - for some reason you just connect with 1 child more. Doesn't mean you love the other children any less but 1 child will touch your soul in a way that no other child does.
I wish you and your family the best!
380. Michele said:
Baby? I can't see any Baby face. I suck at these kinds of puzzles.In the first picture I can see a robot stretching out his robot arm,and in the second picture I see a tall dachsund with an ear on its back. Can't wait for the digital pictures. I'm glad everything is well.
382. Forex trading beginner said:
I can't express in writing how excited am I when I saw my 1st baby in the u/s monitor. Understand the feeling fully.
383. eringremlin said:
You should tell your beautiful girl to never worry about pink-eyed monsters, because THEY'RE ALL GONNA DIE anyway.
384. Sully said:
I'm so glad the ultrasound went well! I have to say that a bad ultrasound was the scariest thing I've been though. Grow little peanut, grow!