• http://www.poobou.com/ cindy w

    Those pictures = Teh Awesome. You look like Courtney Love, only with better hair. (Yeah, I know your hair is supposed to look bad. It still looks better than hers on a good day.)

    The last few weeks of pregnancy are the worst. It’s like evolution designed them to make you so miserably uncomfortable that you actually look forward to the act of childbirth, just so you’ll be done with it.

  • http://amylynn.blogspot.com Grammar Snob

    Holy hilarious!

    Tell Jon, that for the weight comment, our daughter will now be named Hexagon Donette Armstrong. Or Maybe Penelope Bradford Regina Armstrong (sorry, was the quickest PBR I could think of.

  • Meranath

    OMG Heather you have the cutest tummy. :)

    Congrats on making it full term! You have your bags packed yet?

  • http://shoeism.wordpress.com Therese

    This… this is so very hot. You know it, too, don’t you, you sassy minx?

    Particularly enjoying ingenious use of elastic band on jeans as beer holder. Classic.

  • Emily

    You make my day with EVERY new post! I’m 32 weeks along and reading your posts makes me laugh at all my silly aches/pains/problems. You’re the best.

  • Amanda

    THANK YOU HEATHER. For making pregnant women feel not so alone. You’re hysterical and I just about cried reading this.

    Best wishes for a safe and healthy delivery. I heard donettes make labor easier…

  • http://www.gorkyrises.com gorky

    How many of those Pabst Blue Riboons did you have before that post? And beer goes well with donuts. Also ice cream. You probably need more of all three.

    Good luck with the Final Countdown.

  • http://www.thelovelypennylayne.com Sara

    Hahahahaha. Oh my lawd, Heather. At first glance, I thought I’d stumbled on Courtney Love’s website. You’re fantastic and I’m so excited to keep reading once the little one arrives.

  • Jenn

    I don’t normally read the comments, but I just had to this time after seeing the pictures. I’m SOOO glad people thought they were as funny as I did. Is it possible to do a double take while a webpage is loading? Because I did.

  • Marie

    Heather! You are Lucille Ball, reinterpreted.

  • Anonymous

    me thinks hillbilly cruela deville

  • Bri

    Did you walk into the store, grab a pack of cigs, a twelver of PBR and some red Wet n Wild? I would love to have been in line behind you. And I would have been judging you like crazy.

  • L Anderson

    LOL! I see a little Lucille Ball in you!

    Hey, Heather, do you actually read all these comments?

  • Anonymous

    Definitely a “white trash” version of I Love Lucy. Love it!

  • Julie

    This is possibly one of the best things I have ever seen.

  • Garret

    Is it wrong of me to say that you look like Courtney Love? I hope I didn’t offend you!

  • http://sherrikoop.com sherri

    thee funniest thing i have read in a long time. seriously LAUGH OUT LOUD.

    hope to god that the rash is not PUPPPS. bad. bad. bad.

  • Non-Highlighted Heather

    i’m totally jealous of the half shirt look. if i wore that everyone would know i have to tuck my tits into my waistband. ain’t gravity grand?

  • http://a-brilliant-life.blogspot.com Carrie

    You look like Courtney Love here.

  • http://erratictheblog.blogspot.com/ Erratic

    I love that you had the dedication to put on a fake tattoo. Also why the Chuck pictures are so hilarious. :)

  • http://www.wearingmascara.com Julie

    LOL!!!!!! Thanks for posting this.

  • momof8

    You wear it well.

  • Aimee

    What pregnancy would look like if men got pregnant!

  • TINE

    you’ve got some sense of humor! i almost wet my pants seeing those photos. gluck on your remaining pregnancy and to a safe delivery. i’m about two weeks ahead of you :)

  • Mary Lib

    so trashy —- I love it !!!! Sending good wishes your way in the next few weeks .

  • Andrea

    You are totally channeling Kirstie Allen in Look Who’s Talking, in that fantastic flashback scene when she imagines herself married to John Travolta’s character. Ah, so romantic. Just wait til you guys start having burping contests at the dinner table!

  • SusieQue

    SO FUCKING AWESOME. I <3 I skimmed the comments expecting evil trolling self-righteousness and (was a little disappointed) to not see any – but then again, maybe I just missed it. These pictures rock. I was too afraid to keep similar ones when I was just pretending to be pregnant with a pillow under my shirt (unlit cig and a 40) b/c I didn’t want to offend the pregnant wimmins – I’m so glad someone went for it!

  • http://www.ramblingbrooke.com Brooke

    Haha….those photos are awesome!

  • http://psychicgeek.com witchypoo

    I can only imagine the hilarity that went on while you prepared for that photo shoot.

  • Brigitte

    I think this photo should be the cover of your third book! This is the BEST blog post ever.

  • casafroggy

    Honey, that look is a cross between John Mellencamp and Marla Singer (Fight Club). Got help the child spawn of those two!

  • http://www.laurelhermanson.com Laurel

    Holy shit, I just pissed myself laughing. You’ve gone round the bend, yes?

  • Kate

    I want some Donettes now.

  • http://www.jamiemulhern.com maventheavenger


  • HexButt

    Love the photos, very funny.. although the creepily skinny arm on your hip is freaking me out.. Either you have incredibly skinny forearms or someone is going a little bit crazy with the photoshopping.

  • ballerinatoes

    God I love Donettes. I prefer the chocolate ones though. They are especially great this time of year when refrigerated. And I’m not even pregnant. Or stoned.

  • http://twitter.com/Heamamabama Heather

    DOOOOOCE!!! Chick.. I LOVE YOU.
    Seriously, my friend came across your blog and told me I would love it! and she was right. I’m a mom of 3 and I find so many similarities btwn us!
    I’ve since bought your books and just started your first. 2 pages in, I was hooked!

    You rock Dooce! and with this pic… you rock even more!

  • hiliari

    LOL!!!!! Ok… you have officially taken the place of my beloved Chelsey Handler as the funniest white woman on the planet… And yes… the pictures that you have posted are poster worthy!!! you are SO the shit right now!!! I LOVE YOU!!! :)

  • http://www.ahappylittlefamily.com A Happy Little Family

    Heather – That is so flipping funny. I wish I’d have thought of that for my “progress” pics. Thanks for the laugh. By the way…you look FANTASTIC for 36 weeks! Obviously no 60 lb body mass increase like the rest of us!

  • Maria from NJ

    Let me just say I LOVE IT!

  • http://www.realkato.com/ Ken

    I admit, I was tempted to post a fake, anonymous, self-righteous, “how dare you put PBR anywhere near your precious Mormon unborn baby” comment… but I don’t have the heart to do it. Besides, I’m sure there’s a real one coming.

    This is perhaps the most brilliant thing you’ve posted in months. Keep on truckin’!

  • Anonymous

    Oh WoW! If you only KNEW how hard I laughed. Thanks!!!! Hope that “rash” goes away before you have to explain it to all the doctors and nurses in 3 weeks. Man, I am STILL LAUGHING……

  • JenC

    The pictures are priceless.

    And there is NOTHING wrong with sugar doughnuts. I quite frequently abuse…I mean…eat them for breakfast (dusts white powder off sweater, chin, skirt)…..

  • Kristy Merrill

    These pics are priceless! My next pregnancy I think I’ll do a theme for every weekly progression shot. White trash will most definitely be one of them.

    Love you Heather – keep up the awesomeness.

  • Leanne

    the cigarettes in the sleeve, nice detail. my grandma used to do that.

  • http://log.davedot.com/ Dave

    That right there is dedication. 36 weeks in, and still getting gussied up for us.

  • http://www.wheresmydamnanswer.com kristy – where’s my damn answer

    Awesome photos. You will love these down the road as will baby :-D

  • Kate

    the Internets just wouldn’t be capitalized or plural without you.

  • lynn

    You are totally channeling Courtney Love. I agree with an earlier poster — you could print these photos on 10,000 XXL T-shirts and put Motherhood Maternity out of business.

  • Val

    Hideous. I wouldn’t want to be your baby.