• http://thejunesky.net Brent

    This is the best thing I have ever seen. Ever.

  • Jinx

    LOL! That was wonderful!
    You look a little like Courtney Love in those pics.

  • http://www.gonelsons.com jennie

    is it wrong that I think you look really glamorous in these pictures?

  • http://staffmeal.blogspot.com Jenny

    This is your funniest post yet in my opinion- the pictures are funny and despite the humor you still look beautiful and sexy. I read it on my iphone in class and burst out laughing- something I try to avoid.

  • Chriss

    Awesome pic, I think we’re related because I swear that is what my birthmom looked like preggo :) .

    Now I have to find the tutu one I obviously missed.

  • Tara’s Mom

    I agree with #95- I want notecards too! You are so brilliant and funny and amazing and gorgeous and human…I LOVE YOU!

  • Missa

    The only way that this could get any funnier is if you were photographed eating said powdered doughnuts with the chocolate syrup chaser. I almost died with those pictures. Best maternity pictures ever.

  • http://mommyiamhome.blogspot.com Karen

    You are the best goddamn pregnant woman EVER, Heather! Love the look. You really need to keep it after you pop the baby out…

  • http://hautenegro.tumblr.com dacia


  • Tere

    Heather – HYSTERICAL – I mean seriously funny. Powered donuts – love it. With my pregnancies it was:
    Cream Cheese Danish – I would eat an entire danish in one sitting – the kind of danish that comes in a long skinny box, meant to feed 6 people for breakfast
    Salsa – once on a business trip I had the hotel staff rustle up some salsa at 1 a.m. – it was an emergency
    Cherry Limeade – from Sonic, no where else to do.
    May your grocery store stay stocked the next few weeks.

  • SarahP

    Does anyone else see a high-fashion Courtney Love? You, my dear, ARE the girl with the most cake.

  • sparkyd

    Lots of comments about peeing your pants already, but I have to add my own as well…

    I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I had to stop reading after “…an oblong whale attempting to inspect its own ass” and go to the bathroom lest I pee in my chair at work. Too funny.

  • http://itsallaboutthesmallstuff.blogspot.com/ Daria

    Congrats on making it this far in your pregnancy. Your belly looks really beautiful…and I can’t wait to see your new baby girl.

  • Dona

    Damn girl! I know you always joke about not having an ass but I didn’t really beleive it. I don’t know whether to laugh or be jealous. My ass expanded with my pregnancies to counter balance the load in front. Pregnancy Ass, not a pretty thing! It was hard to tell which was bigger on me, the front or the back. You really do have a serious case of white girl butt.

  • http://www.mamaloves.ca mamaloves

    OMFG!!! You’re hilarious. I love these pictures.

  • http://www.calledmadeleine.blogspot.com Megan

    This is THE BEST thing I’ve seen all week. Thank you.

  • http://twenty-x.blogspot.com Katie

    This is amazing!

  • gesture

    Well, if you’ve been eating powdered sugar doughnuts this whole time, don’t worry about it. I am officially 99.9% powdered sugar doughnut (my mother would hide them in the house) and I turned out to be a fairly well-adjusted person. Any brain cells killed were of my own doing.

  • http://momof2girs.com Kristen Iness

    LOL I can’t get past the pictures, hilarious

  • http://lovemarriageandababycarriage.blogspot.com/ Melissa

    I am 31 weeks and have been craving powdered donuts too! I’ve loved reading your blog, it inspired me to right my own. It’s good therapy. It’s so exciting that you are due any day now!!

  • cmhd

    Awesomely hilarious! Not that I don’t always love you, but these pictures, yes, these pictures represent the reason I keep coming back for more.

    You rock. Seriously.

  • brandy

    sooo then could you possibly have a half-vampire/half-human in there sucking the life out of you? you know, after 4 books by stephenie meyer, i officially believe in the supernatural and the ability to give birth to a mutant.

  • http://findingyourself.net Fidget

    damn you, now i want donuts and if I want donuts I have to actually make them myself- stupid lack of gluten free donettes. Sometimes pregnancy cravings are a bitch

  • http://gnatj.wordpress.com Gina

    Wahahahaha! those shots are fracking awesome!
    Good luck with the next few weeks!

  • http://www.curlysu.com Curly Su

    Holy God, I can’t believe that’s you.


    You are, officially, a genius.

    Eat a donut in celebration.

    (Why is Firefox red-line inferring that donut is not a word??)

  • kelly

    Fantastic! I’m still laughing.

  • Ninabi

    Oh shit, the shock of seeing you made me double over with laughter.

    Expecting a sweet, touching picture and then THIS!

    Funny. Best pregnancy pictures, ever. Thanks for bringing us along for the ride.

  • http://www.cathscorner.blogspot.com/ cath

    yay!!! pictures AND a freaking hilarious post! … i was beginning to think the next post would be baby news, but this was even better. although, i suspect that at this point, even if the baby came out with a hexagonal pattern on the noggin you probably wouldn’t be too sad, hmm? hope the last couple of weeks go hilariously. (and healthily) …

  • 2kidsnow2crazy

    You are so funny…I’m completely addicted. You say what we all feel! My boss can see me when I’m at my desk…I just had to duck and laugh before he could see me.

  • Sarah

    *in my best Tyra impression*


    Love it. Made me smile a big, huge, and sorely needed smile!

  • Stacy Hamby

    Sorry if this has been said already, but you look like a preggo Sharon Stone.

  • Jess

    You’re a magician, Heather. A furious magician.

  • Ashley


    LOVE IT!

  • cara

    ah! love the tallboy PBR in your maternity pants!

  • http://mommynotguilty.blogspot.com Keonte’

    I thought they cancelled My Name is Earl?!

    The picture is hilarious.

  • http://parmieuxadventures.blogspot.com ParmieuxParks

    Dear God woman, these pictures are AWESOME. Keep doing whatever it is that you do that makes you so fantabulously hilarious; and if that means eating more doughnuts, then so be it!

  • JMB

    I saw this on my RSS feed at work and almost bit my lip hard enough to draw blood to keep from laughing. Those pictures are the greatest thing I’ve seen today. I can’t wait to go through the comments and read all the haters complaining.

    Congratulations! And keep it classy with that Pabst.

  • Ben Bernanke

    She’s not only a furious magician – she’s a tall drink of water, Spencer.

  • http://5280dad.blogspot.com/ David Gannon

    Is that a PBR TALLBOY? sweet. You’re gorgeous in white trash.

  • dedograce

    Love the look… it works!

  • http://windylou.etsy.com windylou

    Those are the best pictures ever.

  • http://pineappleluv.blogspot.com Jamie Watson

    Dude, those photos of you ROCK!!

  • http://cnbyates.blogspot.com cyndy

    you ROCK! awesome!

  • Anonymous

    looks like you barely gained any weight….but its a funny photo….LOLOLOL

  • oliviainswitzerland

    I’ve not commented before, but LOVE this. I about died laughing! I am student midwife and may have to contact you to ask permission to print your pic out and stick it to my appointment diary that I use to book prenatals. I think it would add a certain levity to the whole midwife-patient time, don’t ya think?

  • http://cheaptarts.blogspot.com/ The Tart

    Heather … You just make me laugh!! Love the wild baby-mama look. Agree with #299 save pics for teen & her wedding.

    ; *

  • http://www.justsaba.blogspot.com Saba

    I love the pictures…I love the post…I love you Heather!! Your awesome!

  • Amanda

    Oh wow. I think this might be my favorite post EVER. I mean, how does it get any better than, “Son, put on a condom lest you one day be forced into the same room as an oblong whale attempting to inspect its own ass.”???????

    (And yes, I meant to use that many question marks; they were deserved).

    Plus you do a great job of trying to look “rode hard and put up wet,” and of ACTUALLY looking like a pregnant white trash lady in those pictures. Just wow.

  • Jessica

    I. Am. In. Love. With you.

  • Rachel

    HYSTERICAL. I love the pictures. You look great!