• Kate Setzer Kamphausen

    OH, I concur (comment #6, I think?). Milla Juice Armstrong is the perfect name for the new baby. OF THE DONUT-SWILLING PIGLADY IN THE [utterly perfect] NEW BANNER.

    Tee Hee.

    Heather, you are the queen of all snarky hearts everywhere. Please keep the glorious Southern-fried snark coming.

  • http://godssmallestgraces.blogspot.com Janet

    Beautiful! I especially love the dresser wall.

  • http://www.cocobonbonsfavoritethings.blogspot.com Deborah at Coco Bonbons

    I love the room! I really like the colors you used and the combination of patterns/prints. It is very peaceful and yet playful. Nice job!

  • Rachel

    AWESOME job, Heather! You are a brilliant, wonderful, and talented woman! BRAVO.

    #146 and sallyjo: Shove it.

    #146: Must be nice to troll around blogs all day raining on people’s parade, huh? Heather is indeed blessed, but not without problems. If you actually took the time to read about the hell that she’s been through, you might rethink your status. I’m glad that Heather has found personal peace and happiness in her life. For those of us not quite so lucky to be at that (due) stage in our lives, we live vicariously through her. And, it’s called: HUMOR. HU-MOR. Being funny. Or trying to, anyway. See below. Humor is my bread and butter, and I couldn’t survive a day without it. But, I suppose that it’s not worth explaining to the unfortunate soul that just doesn’t get it.

    #154 sallyjo:

    You don’t like what Heather’s writing? Then read another blog! I check this blog every day because I savor a quick wit and a bit of humor for my day. Again, if you don’t like what she’s writing, then by all means, find another blog! Duh.

    Meghan L:

    I think that as long as there are blogs and Heather lives, she will probably keep writing on the blog. You might be one of those unfortunate souls out there that don’t get it, either… My guess is that Heather will do this as long as she sees fit, despite the ads. I’ve got a blog out there that nobody reads. I still find the time to post on it every now and again, in hopes that someday I can do as well as Heather has (i.e. connected with funny, intelligent people), and just help to make other people’s days brighter through humor and wit. I don’t feel that Heather is just in it for business, and I really don’t feel that she’s just doing it to get people riled up for more traffic. She is blogging because that’s what she does. The “money benefits” from the ads? Icing on the cake, but surely not a reliable source of income. Book sales? Well, she’s shown time and time again that she’s a brilliant writer, so yeah, a little cash from that. From the blog, though? Honestly, it’s just humor. If you’ll take some time to breathe some air and watch some (if not all) famous comedians, most of their humor is self-depreciating as well. Why do we do it? Because we want to, and we enjoy making people laugh. If all of us were in it for the money, we’d have given up long ago. So please, take your self-righteous “This is a business” talk, and go watch C-SPAN or something. It’s humor. With icing (and powdered-sugar donuts!)

    Heather, you rock. You rock my socks every day that I read your wonderful blog. You already know to ignore the haters, and if you let them under your skin, blah, blah, blah. I just figured I’d fire at them for you today. :-) I enjoy firing back every now and again. Seriously, though, the nursery? Pure genius. My only hope is that I can be as talented as you are in your artistic ventures. THANK YOU for this blog! :-) KUDOS to you for finishing the nursery! Two weeks to go?!

    BTW, captcha: weighs eligibility

  • rb

    Cute nursery except for the tile. :)

  • Amy

    SO ADORABLE. I love, love it all.

  • Zina

    What a pretty room! Good idea with the bed in the nursery. We put the baby’s cradle and changing table in our master bedroom before our third baby was born and now with our fifth child being 3 months old, the cradle and changing table are still in our bedroom. It makes it convenient for changing one kid’s diaper when another kid is napping. (Not that you will have that particular issue to work around.)

    For names, have you already considered: Norma, Nola, Helga, Hilde, Hilda, and Olga? Yeah, I thought so. (I actually do like the name Nola. Norah is pretty, too.)

  • Deedee

    Heather, I have seen the future, and the future is Leta looking TOTALLY like Masha Kirilenko (Andre’s wife). Check out the June 1, 2009, edition of the SLTrib. The pic of Masha is Leta in about 20 years. Seriously. Go look.

    Love the nursery!!! Especially the little whimsical flowers on the wall. Dar-ling!

  • http://www.d3voiceworks.com d3 voiceworks

    Yay! Buying local! Specialty Furniture is a good joint.

    g.o.r.g.e.o.u.s. room.

  • Anne

    Thanks Sara! I just picked up some of those wallflowers at Delight.com as well:

  • http://www.lovemaegan.com …love Maegan


  • http://smilingbeguiling.blogspot.com/ Cheryl

    Very sweet, and not at all too baby-ish (which was MY big pet peeve w/ choices for nursery furnishings when my daughter was born 3 years ago). My friends were aghast when I bought a BLACK crib and BLACK armoir for Dexy’s room (“black? for a baby girl? the horror!”). That I also painted her walls bright turquoise (Indian Beach by Ralph Lauren) and had hot pink and lime green accents was equally awful to most. Whatever, it’s MY kids room, they can #suckit as far as I’m concerned. As can everyone who doesn’t like what you’ve done for Not Maria’s room. Pffft.

    I especially love the Charley Harper art above the crib!


  • Dianne

    Re: June’s Masthead

    Please promise you won’t look that when Not-Maria pops out. You’ll scare her to death!

  • http://www.mommica.com Mommica

    Isn’t it trippy how #196 is probably Heather herself, just trying to get some traffic with the added benefit of educating us all on the business? Whooooaaaa. Dude.

    Conspiracy theorists aside, I am especially fond of the crib (It’s similar in shape to the one I got – clean lines, etc.) and the flowers. So exciting!

  • http://www.thebutterflymind.com Tammy at The Butterfly Mind

    Doesn’t it feel good to have the room all put together? I love that you put a big-person bed in the baby’s room. So much more practical and relaxing than the standard rocking chair! Hard to get good sleep in a rocking chair!

    Let’s hope your kids’ grandma is less of a law-breaker than my daughters.

  • http://www.geordyrose.blogspot.com/ geordy-rose

    this ‘flight’ room is magical.

    calm and peaceful.

    your little one will love it.

    any jelousy from big sister leta over the room?


  • http://www.manicmommy.blogspot.com Manic Mommy

    And OMG, I just realized you have BUMPERS in your crib?!?!!?


    ps… I am just kidding – I am cracking up over the comments from everyone. Man, is life THIS serious that everyone’s gotta worry about Dooce’s nursery!?!? It’s sweet and adorable.

  • Pete

    Well, with the addition of another baby, how’s about another pet?

    I’m sure Jessica wouldn’t mind a cuddle with the little ones.


  • http://www.mammakaze.com Mammakaze

    The swallows on the walls remind me of the swallows in the book ON THE DAY YOU WERE BORN. They are so lovely and tranquilizing that they might almost make you forget about the cracked nipples. Almost, but not quite. Actually the appropriate wallpaper to depict the feeling you get when first breastfeeding would be a leopard ripping apart its prey. But that might be traumatizing to the baby. But then so is mommy screaming, “DEAR GOD! HOW CAN SUCH TINY GUMS FEEL LIKE A VISE!” Good luck with the new baby. With a fun and funny mom like you, she’s a lucky kid.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15595340637449976534 tj

    …Ya know Miss Dooce, I wouldn’t of expected anything else – this nursery is perfect! I love the idea that you thought ahead with the extra bed in the nursery – whatta great concept! :o )


  • http://peggysuewho.blogspot.com/ Peggy

    First time commenter, but I just had to: I absolutely LOVE the June 09 masthead…amazing!

  • chicky

    I love the whole set up Heather and I can’t wait to see this baby! I’ve been following you for a couple of years before Leta was born so I kinda feel like a stalker! Anyway – I know you rarely get advice from well meaning readers and I know it doesn’t piss you off in the least so I’ll just go ahead and say it. As pretty as they are, cot bumpers are not really safe for babies in their cots. I am sure that the US have some kind of advisory body on SIDS but that is what they recommend. No bumpers.

  • Darrell W

    Just thought that you should know, I was reading your blog and a pop up for Crocks came up. You have got to love irony.

  • Neg

    Hey Sally Comment 154 here is for you
    Nipple Nipple Nipple Nipple Nipple Nipple round Nipples Nipple Nipple Nipple hard Nipples sore Nipples BOOOBS Nipple Nipple PENIS Nipple.
    See it is not all that bad- face your fears!!!!!

  • Adrienne S.

    So cute and unique! And thank you, thank you for bringing Chiasso into my world. Crazy good stuff!

  • http://everydaysuperwoman.blogspot.com/ Amy G.

    I’m totally loving Not Maria’s room! Nice work, Mommy.

    Now, do you want to come to my house and redecorate it? All of it? :)

  • http://39andwaiting.blogspot.com/ Christine

    I love everything about the room. I have been following your blog for four+ years and enjoy your sense of humor. Congrats on daughter number two and I am sure Leta will be a great big sister! Take care

  • Ashley

    I absolutely LOVE Not Maria’s nursery and wish upon every star out there that it could have been my room when I was little, or that I had half the decorating ability that you have when it comes to decorating for the little ones I hope to have someday… except for the kinda creepy looking sheep mobile, don’t think I could sleep with that over my head :S

  • http://not-so-deepthoughts78.blogspot.com/ Melinda

    Not Maria is going to have the most amazing nursery! It is so beautiful.

  • Cate

    I’ve never understood the fuss over bumper pads. Newborn babies can’t roll around so unless you’re stuffing them into the sides of the crib yourself how are they going to suffocate?
    The room is beautiful. If a baby is at all affected by her environment, not Maria will be a very calm baby. Here’s hoping for you.

  • Anonymous

    I love the bed. that peachy-yellow color is also one of my favorites.

    I’m just going to say this: will you ever change the baby on the changing table with the bed right there in the middle? I don’t see it happening. If it were me and it’s not I’d switch the bed and the changing table.

    good luck with your soon to arrive family member.

  • http://magnificentbliss.com kristin

    absolutely love the nursery! it would be perfect for my little wren {her nursery is still a work in progress, there will be lots of birds no doubt}

  • http://dawnmramsey.blogspot.com Dawn

    I love the nursery! It has such a calm, serene look to it :)

  • Dawn

    I totally dig it. Well done as always, Heather (and Jon for that matter).

  • Anonymous

    I think you should name her Mariah or Amariah…would be cute because its not Maria and sounds SO much better lol

  • http://sebastian-blayde.blogspot.com/ Brandy

    love the nursery. and still crack up every time i see “not maria”!

  • Nat W.

    I’m gonna be really disappointed if this baby isn’t named Not Maria. It’s grown on me.

  • Anonymous

    What a peaceful and lovely place for anyone to spend time…you guys have wonderful taste, I am with Amy G. you are welcome to my place anytime for a little redecorating.

    Best Wishes!

  • Solveig

    Hi Heather.
    About those cracked nipples….been there, done that! I can recommend “LANSINOH ointment for breastfeeding mothers” – it works wonders!

  • Sorghum

    The nursery is just lovely, and I had a bed in my baby’s room and it was such a Godsend! You’ll love it.
    The only odd thing to me is the mobile. From the baby’s perspective in the crib it will almost be invisible, little sheets of paper seen only by their thinnest edge.
    But the sheep look great from the adult perspective!
    Now, I’m off to examine the wallpaper more closely. Very lovely….

  • RyansMommy

    Woohoo – what a gorgeous room! Thank you for sharing it with us.

    #378 – first of all, did you not read the 70 other commenters who berated her for using bumpers, and then her response? Second of all, I don’t have bumpers on my son’s crib but your suggestion to wind them in and out of the rails sounds AWESOME and I think I might have to go make some just to do that (and also because sometimes he turns 90 degrees in the middle of the night and gets his feet caught in the rails).

    Nipple nipple nipple nipple nipple nipple nipple

    Carpet at Costco?! Who knew?

    Ooh – my captcha is Elise concede…. Elise Sparrow Armstrong has a certain je ne sais quoi, don’t you think?

  • Dianne

    Beautiful room, very tasteful, delightful, and a wonderful mix of the old, new, and classic. Original. My youngest is 19 years old and we had a bed in our nursery, too. Best idea ever!

    I am an active Latter-day Saint and love your column, which I’ve been reading for only about six months. I don’t always agree with you, but you are a wonderful person and I enjoy your writing and descriptions of every-day life.

    Keep up the good work!

  • http://karenw.typepad.com/mommyhoodbloopsblunders/ Karen

    absolutely gorgeous!!!!

  • http://www.cluckandtweet.com Alison @ Cluck and Tweet

    I’m really glad that I’m not the only one lacking an empathy chip, at least where my husband is concerned. Buck up! Be a man!

    The nursery is quite cute. It looks like a room that could be photographed and published in Dwell. I love Dwell.

  • http://notbychoice.tumblr.com/ Kristina


    Ahem. Anyway. The nursery is gorgeous. Don’t know if it’s de rigeur to have a bed for an adult in the nursery but it should be.

  • Janelle

    Love the nursery, Heather. You have a beautiful family — and such lucky little girls to have so much time with their creative and hilarious parents. Congrats and best wishes to you all. I’m thinking of decorating my snoring husband’s room just like the nursery! Perhaps it will help him rest better?!!

  • http://creativebigbang.blogspot.com/ Thaís

    I’m sorry to write again, but I need to get this off my chest:

    Oh, my God, the baby is gonna suffocate on the bumpers, and then the pictures are gonna fall and cut its little head off, and then there’s gonna be a flood and you’ll have to save the remains of the baby by throwing her through that tinny little window, and when you reach to the dresser (I don’t know why you need to go to the dresser in this situation, but, hey, I’m just telling the story) and you break your leg because the bed was in the way, and now the birds are leaving their wall to come and feast off of your decaying corpse. And of course, Jon can’t help because he’s busy replacing the bathroom tiles, since the internet told him so, AND NOW WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.


    THANK GOD the internet warned you about all that!

    I feel better now, thank you.

  • http://www.lifeisgoodathebeach.ca/ BeachMama

    Gorgeous nursery. You always seem to pull everything together so nicely. I love the bed. Both my kids had beds in their rooms for the same reasons, a place to fall asleep if the baby wasn’t sleeping well, guests but also for night feeding. I found it so much easier propped up on a bed with pillows than a chair.

    Kudos to Jon for getting rid of the allergies.

    Now you guys are all set, time for baby.

  • http://intrinsicmovement.blogspot.com kate

    So glad to see the nursery! I’m lovin it! It is cozy and bright!
    To “bumper” or not to “bumper.” We used the bumper as well as one of these http://www.swaddledesigns.com/
    As an infant, the swaddling kept him cozy and he didn’t move around much either while in it, helped him sleep through the night for sure, otherwise his little jarring limbs would wake him up.
    I second the Lansinoh!! God that helped (as did a warm shower, esp for clogged ducts)!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/cioalvarado cio

    Dude. that nursery is A-Mazing. It seems So peaceful.
    and a big bed in the room = BRILLIANT.

    if I ever have children, that’s exactly what i will do.

    two thumbs up!! Do you do interior design for a living?