38 weeks
As of today there are only ten days left until my due date:
Yesterday morning I had a weekly appointment with my OBGYN where she checked to see if I was dilated. You know how that is done, right? Because I remember the first time my old doctor told me how he was going to "check me" when I was pregnant with Leta, and I was all YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT? And then he snapped on one of those latex gloves, held up his hand like he was flashing the peace sign, and then I had go home and tell Jon that I cheated on him with the knuckle on my doctor's index finger.
It is not a pleasant experience, not at all, no way, not even. Someone basically has to reach up inside you and casually estimate the circumference to the opening of your cervix using the tips of their fingers. And in order to garner the most accurate measurement they have to sweep around the opening like they're cleaning the mouth to a water bottle. When you're laboring in a hospital room you learn really fast that the person walking around with their index and middle fingers in the air is coming straight for your lady parts, and sometimes that person is not the same person who measured you an hour ago, and next thing you know you've violated every single standard of the BYU Honor Code.
The doctor who delivered Leta retired just a few months after she was born, so I had to find someone new to deliver this baby, and this doctor must have much tinier hands because that is the only way to explain the maneuvers she has to pull in order to get her fingers far enough inside me to reach the cervix. And I am not even kidding, at one point I thought her forefinger was going to poke out of my nose.
Jon was standing by my side during this procedure so that I could squeeze his hand when the pain became unbearable, and afterward as he taped up his broken fingers he asked if it had really been as bad as the expression on my face seemed to indicate. And I was all, Jon, that woman just reached through my vagina and scratched the underside of my brain. Whatever the expression was on my face, it WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
The last three times she checked me I'd shown no progress whatsoever. My cervix hadn't dilated or softened, and I'd go home thinking I was going to be pregnant for another two months, and they do not make a powdered doughnut big enough to medicate that kind of misery. But yesterday when she pulled back her arm her face brightened with the news that I've dilated to two and half centimeters and am 50% effaced, a good indication that my body is getting ready. According to all the pregnancy shows I've been watching, though, this means absolutely nothing, and I could either go into labor tonight or waddle around for 13 days past my due date and then accidentally give birth in a toilet.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
301. Vanessa said:
I don't think I ever progressed past 1 cm even when they checked me into the hospital to induce me. That will be the one nice thing about next time, they wont be checking me since Ill be having a scheduled c-section.
You look so beautiful for 38 weeks! I hope she comes quickly!
302. Vee said:
I''m sorry people like Anon#285. You don't deserve any of that, you're so brave for continuing to do this. You look radiant and happy and you should be. All the best to you always.
303. Kelly said:
Yeah, and then people get you excited that 2nd + babies come sooner and faster. I'll keep good thoughts for you and baby. You're an epidural girl, right? LOL
304. Stellare said:
Hang in there, baby! I mean, don't! Come out now! :-)
305. Ameya said:
Reading this post this morning reminded me how much I'm dreading those checks, so I asked the almight google if I could opt out - and this post was the 4th on the page, haha.
Google says I can. Imma ask my midwife. Because really... no thank you to cervix probing. Really.
306. azd said:
wow, been there, but never did make it past 38 1/2 weeks with either of my two babies, thank goodness! those last days really are excruciating, to say the least, physically and mentally. i still can't imagine making it to 40 weeks. i'm sure I would have been sending my uterus an eviction notice by then. never was fond of being "checked" either. :( you have all my sympathy.
on the bright side, it will all be worth it, very shortly!
btw, thanks for the chuckles today. your visual descriptions were hysterical. way to be a good sport and make light of things. your sense of humor will surely get you through this tough wait!
307. Lisa said:
Hate to tell ya, but I was dilated to a 3 and 70-80% effaced for 3 weeks. Good luck!
308. BeckyinReno said:
As someone who is 30 weeks preggo I feel your pain! I think its time for a Mommy day of mani/pedi's and a back massage. I haven't read all the comments but has anyone mentioned that there is a full moon on Sunday?? I think name not Maria will arrive sunday or monday!!! Good luck!
309. Cee said:
Heather, I hope you know that you can skip internal checks altogether. They're unnecessary at this point, because as you pointed out, dilation means nothing until you're ready to push that baby out. You are such a smart woman, please don't become a victim of the medical institution. "The Business of Being Born" is a fantastic documentary you should check out.
310. sparkyd said:
To #249 - "C" - I get really annoyed when people go on and on about letting things happen naturally and how there shouldn't be so much intervention. Not that there aren't valid points tucked into those arguements, but the REAL reality is that back in the day when women didn't have some of these interventions (and still to this day in less privileged places) women and children die in childbirth. I am quite certain that either my son or I (or both) would have died without some kind of help when he was born. I'm not even talking c-sections here, it was just a forceps birth - but could have easily been a c-section if that hadn't worked. So many people cringe at that but the boy (who was very large) just could not get out on his own (after 2 hours of pushing) and was going into distress. A snip, some forceps, and 5 minutes later he was out. And I'm grateful. I'm also grateful for my epidural because my labour came on (naturally) fast and hard and dammit, it hurt. A LOT. I was going to give it a shot "drug-free" and thought I might be able to do it, but my lord, it hurt. I had pain relief to get my wisdom teeth out, so why on earth would I subject myself to hours of unecessary torture to give birth? I was perfectly aware and "present" for the entire experience. Plus when it came time for the aforementioned cutting, forceps, and stitching, I was equally grateful for the epidural.
Oh and about the frequency of doctor/midwife visits, I'm guessing you are remembering wrong because where I live you also only go every 4 weeks until you get closer to your due date. The weekly visits don't start until you hit 36 weeks. Seems reasonable to me.
And goody for you that you were climbing ladders near the end of your pregnancy. Kind of seems like a bad idea, but anyway. From the looks of that nursery I'm thinking Heather has been plenty active as well. Pregnancy is a different experience for everyone and if yours was super easy, then goody for you. Some people are miserable the entire time they are pregnant. Some breeze through. Don't judge.
Last thing - #72 - "Design Girl" - that post made me cry laughing. Too funny.
311. Elaine at Lipstickdaily said:
You really do look amazing. What an exciting time!
312. Alanna said:
Ooh boy. Sometimes you are brutally honest. I think this is one of those things about pregnancy that I didn't want to know until it was too late to go back...
313. Rachel D. said:
See, I read your Monthly Newsletters and then I start thinking baby-thoughts. And then I read things like this and my legs snap together. Truly, nothing messes with my biological clock quite as profoundly as your website.
You look glorious, Heather! Best of luck to you and your lady-parts and the rest of the Armstrong clan!
314. Ashley said:
I saw that woman who gave birth in a toilet! "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", right? Those women are so full of it. Seriously, how do you not know that you just pushed a human out of your vagina and not just a monster turd? First of all, totally different hole. Second, she said that she didn't notice until she stood up. Did she not wipe and see that it's all bloody/gutsy down there? Good lord.
315. BOSSY said:
Bossy thinks your pregnancy has passed by rather quickly. And even as she types that she knows you are saying, "Sure, kid, easy for YOU to say."
316. Rebecca said:
I swear getting "checked" hurt more than labour! (Well, the epidural took care of that.) I'm just surprised they checked you with 10 days to go. Mine wouldn't check me until I was past due. (And then, after she did, I went into labour a few hours later.)
You look great. And you look like you feel great.
All the best.
317. Anonymous said:
Oh Lord. I hope whoever I marry doesn't want kids.
Heather you are wonderful! I sincerely hope and pray that the baby comes soon and the delivery goes smoothly.
318. Megan said:
You look great!
Keep on truckin! She'll be here before ya know it!
319. kim said:
oh man....i wish i had skipped this post.... this makes me want to just ignore my labor pains when they happen and try to go back to bed like it was all just a dream...i don't' know if 19 weeks will be enough mental prep time for this experience at this point ;)
320. Gladys said:
Oh. My. God. The pain of the cervical check. My son is 4 and a half months old. Your post brought me back to my second-to-last exam, the first time my dr. "checked my cervix." I loved her, she's a wonderful doctor in every way. Which made it even worse - this person I really like and trust did this thing that HURT so badly!
And while cervical checks may not be totally necessary, but when I was 38 weeks, I would have done anything to find out "when is it gonna end?" The pain of the cervical check was (almost) worth it!
Best of luck to you, Jon, and Leta - looking forward to hearing about not Maria!
321. Marky said:
It's national donut day...just thought you'd like to know...
322. Idania said:
#159, last time I checked, my sphincter was in my rectum, not my vagina.
#252-clever with the alphabet analysis!
Heather, my name suggestion is Poutine Joe-Louis Armstrong. (I'm from Quebec, Canada. Poutine is fries with gravy and cheese curds-YUMMY! Joe Louis is a chocolate covered chocolate cake with vanilla filling. You can also wash it down with Pepsi-popular with Quebeckers).
As for the whole fingering thing, I got about 5 people up there with my first daughter. Luckily, it was a 3 hour labour.
For my second, my doc checked me; it wasn't too painful. A few days later, my water broke and my second daughter was born 49 minutes later (yes, I can hear all of you calling me a lucky bitch!). I was SO happy that all the doctor did was catch the baby instead of poking and prodding.
We're thinking of having #3 in a couple of years just because that birth was great and that #2 is a super baby-she's 4 months old now.
The one thing I didn't like was the doc sticking a Q-tip in my ass (and twirling it around to boot!)to check for some infection that could hurt the baby.
Hope you have a great delivery like mine! (Fast, no drugs, 1 push)
323. sabrina said:
I hope you know that all your younger readers just crapped their pants, and are now terrified to EVER want to have children. EVER.
324. Marcheline said:
Just to take your mind off things, Heather, why don't you get your hairdresser to give you some lovely bangs? With your bone structure, bangs would give you such a nice face-framing effect, and would keep the hair out of your eyes while you're bent over changing diapers too!
325. the niffer said:
You look awesome - and ready. I'm so excited to learn this kid's name. So suspenseful!
326. Idania said:
Can we strip the membranes of all the haters out there? I know I'd enjoy it! ;) #285 can go first...lol!
By the way, I had a great L&D, but I looked like Fat Albert from 14 weeks onward. Nature's way of leveling the playing field.
327. Michele said:
I feel like I've known you for years and you are about to have a baby bubalah that I just can't wait to see. I'm teary-eyed and excited all at the same time. Hurry!! Hurry!!
328. Laura said:
I can't believe you are almost there! Wow! Here's hoping for a healthy baby and mama! And a story almost as interesting as Leta's birthing story. :)
329. Habitual said:
Good luck with that!
I can't really even handle paps, let alone what you've described. I was in the delivery room for 4 out of 11 of my nephews and nieces, and it was always that stupid "check" that put me over the edge into fainting territory. Once I did faint, but that was because my size 2 sister gave birth to a 10# 8oz baby in 2 hours with no epidural. A real horror show if you ask me! * sitting with legs firmly crossed*
I wish you a speedy, pain free delivery and that you remember it as walking on rose petals.
330. Jessica said:
Oh, thank God I used a midwife. She only did cervical checks if I wanted her to (and I never had to pee into a cup- which was a bonus).
Seriously, that sounds way more invasive, painful and horrible than is necessary. The one time I was made to feel uncomfortable during an annual exam was by a male ob/gyn. I'll stick with midwives after that, thank you very much.
And I agree with another person, sounds like your 'dear' doctor was trying to strip your membranes, or she really did get lost up there.
And you look amazing.... happy healthy birth to you!
331. Lori W said:
Ok Heather we will start the counting. TMINUS 10!!
Good luck young lady!!!!
332. Susan said:
Just read your Tweet:
"My mucous plug just came out. If this doesn't make Favrd then Twitter is obviously broken."
I had my 3rd and last baby four years ago. I remember all too well the feeling of knowing you will be going through something very painful, (but so worth it) in just a short time.
Are you gonna Tweet your way through it? :)
333. Yecats said:
Ahhhhh, memories. Strangly, reading all your stuff along with what is going on with my life, i'm soooo ready to do it again. My daughter is nearly 19 months, and i so want her to have a sibling, so, we shall see. All the best to you. You are one gorgeous preg. lady. Very lucky. When i was at the point you are, i looked like a huge beached whale. :)
334. Amanda said:
First, I threw up a little when I saw how small everything except your belly is at 38 weeks, by 38 weeks I could not fit into my husbands shoes, and refused to get on the scale at the drs office, I was big enough that they didn't force the issue.
Second, please tell me that you are referring to the train wreck known as "I didn't know I was pregnant" as your baby shows. Here I thought I was the only one who was watching it in my house with all of the shades drawn and the remote control close by in case someone should break in and learn my horrible taste in TV.
335. Elinda said:
I swear that female OB/GYN's are worse than men. You would think a man would be less gentle, considering they have no idea what you're going through. My experience with women OB/GYN's has been that they have small, pointy fingers and have to insert up to the elbow to find anything.
336. Elizabeth said:
You are the funniest woman on the planet!! I just cried....
337. Liz said:
Apparently today is National Doughnut Day so you should go ahead and self-medicate anyway.
338. Erin said:
With my 2nd, I was 3.5 cm from 38 weeks until I was induced at 42 weeks.
Hope you have this one right on her due date. :)
339. Jessica said:
2.5 centimeters and 50% effaced? i say, "have your bag packed!" i bet you have that little girl in the next 3-5 days!!! best wishes to you and your family. i've read your blog since i was pregnant with my daughter in 2006. she just turned 2. how times flies!
340. d3 voiceworks said:
gah! the cervix check is REAL fun during labor!
great news on your progression! i was 11 days overdue and --nada!
341. karyn said:
Now is the time for you to get pierced like my friend:
http://donthavekids.wordpress.com/
It will give everyone in the delivery room a nice surprise and you're already going through so many awkward/painful/weird experiences in that region...
342. Acadia Durham said:
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for posts like that -- obv designed to help your single, childless readers (like me) relish in rolling around in the grass on this side of the fence.
343. robyn said:
Maybe your exam will speed things up! With my second child, my doctor did a 'cervical sweep' that pretty much lifted me off the exam table with her 2 fingers. VERY intimate indeed. I went into labor and gave birth 2 hours later.
344. Tricia said:
"....accidentally give birth in a toilet." Snot flew out of my nose! You crack me up.
345. Amanda said:
Heather I think you look amazing! I remember feeling the same way the closer and closer I got to my due date. I decided to be induced after being four days overdue because I started to think that I was going to still be pregnant during christmas and new years. (my son was born nov. 20, 2007) :) But I think that you look great and wish that I looked half that good now. I've done a bad job at losing the baby weight. Any tips for a lonely stay at home mom?? :) Good Luck with everything!
346. Sheila said:
I want everyone to know cervical checks in pregnant are not necessary. Don't want one? Just decline.
What good does it do to know how much you are progressing when labour has not even begun? If after 40 weeks you really want your membranes swept, I suppose that's different, but I would never allow a cervical check for no good reason.
347. Lauren said:
I could feel my womb threatening me whilst reading this, owch.
Can't wait until we get to meet the littl'un.
348. Jennifer M said:
Your next masthead really needs to be a baby doll in a toilet. Pretty please?
349. jag said:
Dear Dooce,
So thrilled for you and your family! I'll be holding calming thoughts for you and hope that everyone's meds kick in at the same time (LOL) so that this birth is as lovely as possible for everyone involved.
Keep doing what you do and we'll be right here supporting you.
You rock.
350. Heather said:
i am 30 weeks pregnant with my second little girl and about the size you are right now. you look beautiful!
with my first, my doc checked me for the first time right after my water broke; i actually almost fainted from the pain. literally. blood pressure dropped, staff came running, couldn't talk or move, the whole thing. looking back, i think i may have been having a contraction when he did it -- at least i hope that's what it was, because i don't want to go through that again with this one! you are much tougher than i am; hang in there and congratulations! oh, and i'm totally jealous of the nursery. :)
351. andrea said:
Gawd, I'd forgotten that awful sensation, it's been 21 years since I had to endure it!! Eeek! It was almost like nails down a chalkboard reading your description!
Anyhoo, just wanted to say, you're doin' it all RIGHT Heather and I wish you lots of everything good in your delivery and with your sweet family!
352. Dancinfairy said:
Wow, you look so well, and have such a pretty bump! I am 33 weeks and my bump looks bigger than yours. Hope everything goes well with the birth.
353. Jeanne said:
I remember my first OB/GYN telling me that the cervix had no endings and therefore the biopsy he was about to do couldn't be painful. After he was finished, I fainted.
354. Jeanne said:
Sorry, no NERVE endings....
355. Amy H said:
that was hilarious and gross all at the same time. You are so right, though, about the dilation. I don't even know why they bother. I was dilated 3cm and 75% effaced at 36 weeks and didn't deliver until 41 weeks. That last week was not fun for my husband!
356. garden mom said:
Hi Heather:
I keep checking to see if you've had your baby yet, and it was nice to read how much longer you have to go. You look great.
Your description of the cervix check is so hilarious - though I know how painful that can be. When I was pregnant, I was mortified by the explanation from a nurse who showed me with a plastic model how large the cervix must get. It was at that point I told her I didn't think I could do it.
357. The Bold Soul said:
Oh dear God you just made me rethink my decision to have a baby. Better tell my husband to get a condom tonight.
Saw your tweet about the mucus plug and clearly you won't be waiting around for 13 days. Not-Maris is en route! Woo-hoo!
And my captcha codes: reuben Gyorgy... where do you come up with these?
358. Susan said:
Thank you for speaking up about those awful dilation checks. I found them to be horrendous, agonizing, freak-out time bad. The docs and nurses acted like I'd rejected them right in the middle of mad monkey love when I was in pain from it -- and one of them even asked me if I'd ever been sexually abused. Dear Gawd, no my dear, have not. And thanks for introducing that vision into the birthing room, yesireebub. Then I spiraled into the depression of "No other woman on the planet finds this painful, so I am a failure at motherhood, personhood and all other aspects of hoodesness..." This, despite the fact I was using the HypnoBirthing technique and not making a peep about the contractions or any other general pains anywhere in my hooha. Impressing everyone so much with my silence that every nurse on every shift during 40 hours of labor came to watch me and marvel. Should have charged 'em, damn gloved sadists...
Anyway, you look lovely (and sooo slim!) -- and thank you for speaking to the truth. Being so damn funny doing it. too. May you HypnoBirth your way to a wonderful birth day for you and babe! (Okay, I'll shut the hell up now!)
359. thepill said:
If you find the "checks" so miserable (and who could blame you? ICK!) you don't have to do them. You really don't.
Between my 2 pregnancies I've seen 3 OBs and 2 midwives, and all of them considered the "checks" totally optional. One OB told me that she didn't even like doing them on request, because they're more trouble than they're worth. She had a point. They don't tell you when the pregnancy is going to end, since you can walk around dilated for weeks. Or, on the other hand, go into labor out of seemingly nowhere.
That said, if the information they've given you is worth the pain (and it sounds like it was this time, anyway) then why the heck not?
360. Keyona said:
Whew! At least you only had 1 doctor "inside" you at a time. Yeah. The military does shit different.
361. c said:
310: sparkyd, actually my son was a forcep delivery too, after pushing for 2 hours he wasn't moving either. I consider it my fault because I'd asked for an epidural after a week of experiencing excuriating pains throughout the night I just wanted to be pain free once the labour completely kicked in. On reflection, my actual labour was moving incredibly quick until the point where I'd asked for that epidural. As soon as I had those drugs in my system my labour slowed right down and when it finally came to pushing, I was so weak and exhausted I had no energy to even begin to push him out. So in came the fontouse (might have spelt that incorrectly) and then the forceps. Took them a few minutes to get the wee boy breathing too.
And no, I'm not guessing wrong on my Midwife appointments. But then, living in the UK, I suppose the approach would be different. The only time weekly appointments would be justified here is if there were complications with the pregnancy.
I find it ironic that you're informing me not to judge, when your comment towards me is full of judgement. Pot calling kettle and all of that :-)
And I saw no problem with decorating... I was pregnant, not disabled. Pregnancy, if it is a healthy one, is not an illness.
362. Lisa.A said:
It totally blows me away that the odd (in more ways than one) person leaves SUCH hateful remarks. They truly are disgusting, sad little gits.
I must admit after reading your posts there is a dark part that requires me go through the comments to see the weird ones (why...why??)
I love your honesty, which has resulted in me snorting coffee/wine through my nose on many a read. You owe me a laptop.
363. kate said:
Hiya! Just got your twitter message that your mucous plug came out...YAY!
Since you just got checked yesterday, it makes sense it came out (especially after having the doctor scrape you all the way up to the underside of your brain..YIKES!)
Good luck Heather. It can still be a few weeks away. Hold tight and yes, go take a lot of walks!
BTW, a new coke drinking gal pal of mine Karin Ahlander-Thomas is a friend of yours. We both live in Boulder and met through some gal pals. She's cute and can hang tough with us marguerita/wine lovers.
364. Anonymous said:
I am due in 13 days myself and I'm twice the size of you, in fact if anyone asks if I'm having twins again, I might have to go into hiding. You are so right about that horrible procedure. My cervix is closed and its torture.
The part that I wonder is...these people who bring their husbands and mothers and entourage...are they watching this, because that's really torture.
Good luck and I guess the race is on to see if you give birth first or me.
365. Amy said:
This post was awesome even though I squirmed around in my seat a lot while reading it. I'll never look at someone garnishing the peace sign quite the same way again...or the mouth of a water bottle.
366. Karyn said:
I am 34 weeks pregnant with my first child - NOBODY TOLD ME ANY OF THIS!!!!!
367. Anonymous said:
The last few weeks are so excruciating. The worst -- uncomfortable and forced to just WAIT, always fun for the anxious, overachievers among us. Not that you'd know anything about THAT ;-).
Also, I never got a chance to comment on Not Maria's Nursery! I loved all the things you chose -- every single one and especially the bird theme. Something was missing in how it all came together though and this may be in large part due to the fact that I tend to be a garanimal kind of gal. But, I would have done the crib in gray, and chosen pillows for the bed that reflected the yellow/pink/gray scheme, or at least included birds. Also, I'd consider putting the changing table on the bird wall, and the brass bed (gorg!) on that wall. This avoids the furniture "all lined up" look, and as someone points out, will give you better access to the changing table from the crib.
368. erin said:
her name wasn't roberta by chance? she was a nurse/midwife in training when i went in labor with my first. my dr was alway really gentle when he checked me, so i wasn't prepared for roberta. i'm pretty sure she went in up to her elbow & reached for my spinal cord. i literally lifted up off the bed trying to get away from her. nothing...not even the 7 times they tried to get an iv in or the c-section recovery was as painful as roberta & her giant fist.
369. Dharma said:
Mucus Plug....begone!
Good luck Heather. Tell your man to use the other hand in the delivery room though :) C'mon Not Maria, nobody likes an overdue anything...
370. Brittni said:
All I can say is that you look amazing for 38 weeks!
371. Nidia said:
Heather, I love you! You look wonderful!
Oh and #285..."Anonymous"...really??!?!?!? COWARD!!!! Go play with your plastic girlfriend, LOSER!
So anyway, hope you are comfortable as possible this last stretch. Can't wait to meet Not Maria.
372. Joanna said:
Maybe by the time you read all these comments the baby will have arrived!
My doc was out of town when I went in for my check-up one week before my due date, the sub was a Russion OB/GYN who had to be re-credentialed to practice in the U.S. He shoved his fingers in and I felt a pinch. Then he told me I was 1cm dilated and that "the baby might come sooner than you think!" That night, at 2 AM I sneezed, and my water broke. To avoid infection, they didn't check to see how far I was dilated until I had been in hard labor for a while, and told them that I needed to push NOW!
In retrospect, I knew that the sub Doc had given me a poke to get things started, but I didn't even know until now that it happened to other people and had a name! I just thought he was being an asshole!
my best wishes to you and your family, Heather. Thanks for bringing back memories of what turned out to be an absolutely amazing experience. She's 14 now, and taller than I am.
I had the intrathecal morphine: I highly recommend it.
373. Aleta said:
Well, that was interesting when I read the first few lines to see my "almost name" - your daughter's name Leta and mine Aleta.
I don't have any children and after this post, ummm... yeah, not so sure I want someone doing that to me.
Hilarious post. I can see I'll be back to read more of your blog posts!
374. Amanda said:
So this post pretty much confirmed it- I want to be Heather Armstrong when I grow up.
Being a recovered Mormon myself, I'm on my way.
Your blog is my anti-depressant.
375. CookieCenral said:
I love the BYU honor code comment. Thanks for the Utah reference - it made my day.
376. Al said:
Sigh... I wish you all the best and am so excited for you, but from a purely selfish perspective, I am not looking forward to surviving the last 8-10 weeks of my pregnancy without the delightful distraction of reading about yours.
Thanks for the countless ways you have entertained me during my work day - not to mention helping me survive medicated motherhood, a miscarriage, and pregnancy the second time around. Crazy as I may be, it sure is nice to know I am not alone in the world.
Good luck. Can't wait to hear how it all turns out.
377. Rachel said:
Reading your accounts of pregnancy & labor & cracked nipples & wandering physician fingers - it's really excellent birth control. You should contact Proctor & Gamble for your share.
378. Anonymous said:
#19 - I'm just curious.....why did you not want a male intern observiing your labor and delivery? They have to learn too?
379. Elena said:
Oh my goodness, I could eat those donettes right now.
You look darling! Good luck.
380. Bea said:
Did anyone else feel empathy pains in their vag while reading this?? Holy uncomfortable hell! Heather, you continue to be an effective form of birth control for me. My mother thanks you.
Must go tighten the hinges on my chastity belt.
Best of luck!
381. Carolyn said:
Heard your plug came "unplugged" today on twitter. Early congrats!!!
I particularly detest the latex glove coming at me as well; just moments before I give birth just so they can "concur" that I am actually fully dilated as I'm laying over my bed, butt in the air, and clawing at anything that comes remotely within 5 feet of me while foaming at the mouth and reciting satanic spells at my husband.
Oh yeah, I just love those memories.
382. Amanda said:
And now my va jay jay hurts due to the memories it brings back of my own two daughter.
383. Cathy said:
I remember with my daughter (baby #2) I was dilated to a two a few days before hand. When I went in on my due date, I was at a 3. So, they gave me the petocin to speed up the labor. I went from a 3 to a 10 in 30 minutes! I will never, ever forget the look on my husbands face when the nurse says, "Oh look, we have bloody show, and it has hair!" It was priceless. Like ‘holy shit that was fast!’ I was in labor for 11 hours with my first and 5 with my second child. It was a much better experience and hope that yours goes faster and easier as well!
384. Anonymous said:
I remember the first time they checked me and I had no idea what was coming. That was some PAIN. Glad you got through it, and I don't think you'll be pregnant much longer!
385. Jaxon said:
I can't believe I get to leave a comment!! No kidding, for some reason the comment form has not been coming up on my computer for weeks now. I couldn't leave a comment about the bathroom (beautiful, I adored the orange touches, but the tile would keep me awake at night.)
I couldn't leave a comment about the baby's face (like those horrible 3-D pictures that everyone could see a dinosaur rise up out of the mess if they stared just right, I never could see a thing. I couldn't see the baby face either. At all. Made me almost as crazy as the missing comment form.)
I couldn't leave a comment about the nursery (after the bathroom comments I was terrified to read the comments and was stunned to see almost a complete sweep of positive comments. Me, I worried about the baby pulling up on the lamp in six months and having it crash down on her. Ditto standing up in the crib reaching for those pictures. But I have complete faith that you guys will prevent any of that when the time comes. The bed is such a great idea. Wonderful for snuggling up to nurse.)
Which reminds me a a story about my newborn daughter. It was a cold night and I laid down on the couch to nurse her. We both fell asleep and I woke with a baby mouth glued to my chin. She had woken and wiggled up to my chin. Finding something pointed she latched on and was sucking for all she was worth. I had a huge red hickey on my chin for a week. Try explaining that one.
You look fastastic Heather. Not a stretch mark in sight. That must be a relief! Best wishes on the coming event. Can't wait to hear the name.
386. annie said:
hey heather) I'm reading your blog from moscow and you're one of my favorite contemporary writers. I've never before sent you messages, but now - whoa! new baby on the way! just wanna say - may the force be with you and good luck)
387. Angela said:
Oh my, you make me want to get pregnant, but my son is only a year old on the 12th. I also have 3 other kids, but they are from a previous marriage, so does that count? My new husband will only have one child and my poor baby will not be growing up with my 19 year old daughter so he'll be like an only child. I'm almost 39..tick..tick..tick..
388. Katie said:
That definitely does not make me excited to have babies... Good luck to you!
389. Beth said:
Well Heather, just 3 months ago I was checked at 38 weeks and I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced just like you and my water broke 2 days later...I hope the same happens for you! I look forward to missing your posts because you are too busy with a newborn, perfect, little baby girl (just like the one I am nursing write now as I type this). Best of luck with everything!
390. Anonymous said:
Awesome! Freaking! Hair!
391. Robbie said:
You look great, Heather...
392. Kendall said:
Heather, i love your honesty and i think you are gorgeous!!!
Pregnancy has made you even more so.
Thank-you for your humor and your honesty.
Please dont ever stop..
A friend from afar....
393. tracy said:
10 days 10 days 10 days! let the countdown begin! (like it hasn't already)
after reading this post, I'm very grateful I didn't have to be checked. At 37 weeks, I leaked a bunch of fluid (not amniotic), passed my mucus plug, but since my water hadn't actually broken, they didn't want to risk infection by jamming their fingers into my "lady parts". and from the sounds of it, thank goodness!
394. MereMortal said:
Sending you love for a peaceful birth. :)
May you laugh, cry, breathe, and transform your way through it.
The cervical checks...precisely why I requested only 2 cervical checks during my two births: One when my midwife arrives at my home, and two when my body is feeling ready to push.
PS Maybe this time you can be in a side-lying position or use the squat bar for pushing to reduce your chances of tearing. Just a thought. :)
395. Holly said:
This made my toes curl - yikes!
396. Ms. Moon said:
I agree with commenter #19. That is exactly what your description sounded like and I have not only had four kids but I've been in the "biz." Checking dilation and effacement does not require that sweeping motion. At all.
That doctor should have asked your permission.
BUT- you look gorgeous and I am hoping you get an easy, fast delivery of a sweet, fat, baby girl.
397. Cio said:
um. If this post doesn't teach abstinence, I dunno WHAT will.
lol. Yikes...
Reason #10582058204567890987654345678 : Why I will not be having children.
ha. Thanks for sharing!!
398. Laviyah said:
Thank goodness for midwives! I don't think I have ever been checked and I have four kids! The midwives I have used think its totally unnecessary and invasive...
399. shonti said:
You look great! and btw, you don't have to be "checked" if you don't want to. If you're not in the mood, or don't care to have the info, or just whatever, it's perfectly reasonable to decline, anytime.
400. Cathy Carey said:
You look terrific, very peaceful
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new header!
401. JudithNYC said:
On the 20th of June my boys will be 36 years old and I still remember those poking fingers. My doctor would go in and say "Long and hard!", referring to my cervix, of course. I would have giggled but I was too uncomfortable.
By the way, you are gorgeous and even more so while pregnant.
402. Tori said:
I keep seeing these comments about how skinny Heather looks or if she's sure she's pregnant and I've finally had it.
The days of "eating for two" and gaining a crapload of weight are over. Doctors are now saying that a woman of healthy weight (i.e. not overweight or obese) should gain between 20-25 pounds. Overweight women should aim for 15-20 and obese women just 11-15 pounds.
I've seen women put on 70 lbs with a pregnancy and then not understand why they don't "bounce back" quickly. There isn't enough amniotic fluid in the world to explain a 70 pound weight gain.
Heather looks the way she does because she continued to work out, which is recommended to make childbirth easier and she evidently hasn't gone completely crazy in the calorie department.
403. Megan said:
You look beautiful, Heather!
404. Nicole said:
I remember waiting and waiting and WAITING to dialate and then finally it happened, I felt so proud of myself! I find that my doctor was a lot more gentle when checking my cervix than the nurses in the labor and delivery because for some reason they could never reach it until they were up to their elbows. I had both my babies at Jordan Valley in West Jordan and fell in love with their Chef's salad, they are soooo worth having nurses fingers come out your nose!
405. Courtney said:
Dude, all I'm going to say is THEY DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THAT IN SCHOOL!!! Not even under the Clinton Administration! I think Bush could have used that to reinforce why abstinence is a good idea... some of those kids might have actually learned something about sex ed then. I think the sperminators should also have to get checked when you go in for labor. Like some kind of ball-o-gram, just to make sure they're ready to be a parent.
Cervical checks. WTF. Also, I ditto "the Business of Being Born", but maybe not until after you come home from the hospital with a baby.
406. Tammy at The Butterfly Mind said:
One day you'll back on all this and laugh - but it'll probably take you 50 years to get to that point. In the meantime, thanks for giving the rest of us a laugh at your expense.
407. SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said:
Only 10 days left?! Wow, it seems like just a couple months ago you were telling us you were pregnant....though I'm sure it doesn't seem that way to YOU! Best of luck!
408. Sadie said:
You do look excellent Heather. At 38 weeks I was retaining 9 months of water in my jowels...
May the dialation and effacment continue!
409. Alyxherself said:
I had an ob who looked like a Kennedy and aaalll the ladies loved him. Then I had my first exam and I found out he thought much of himself, as he gave me a "tickle" at the top before invading my privacy, so to speak.
I have told many women that story and all seemed to feel it was bad that he did that...I however...appreciated his consideration.
We can't wait Heather, we're all so happy for you and Jon and Leta.
410. Lisa said:
WOW. What an experience. I am so glad I am missing the "Mom" gene. I love children - just other people's.
411. Nicole said:
With my first, nobody told me how horrible it was to have your dilation checked. I went home after and called every single woman I knew who had a baby and cursed them out for not warning me.
412. Lori said:
You look great Heather. I can't wait to see your new little bundle of joy. I hope your labor is easy and Not Maria comes to you whole, healthy and HAPPY. Good Luck!
413. Andrea said:
You look beautimous!!
Best of luck for smooth sailing in the next few weeks!!!
414. Christine Hoffman said:
I laughed out loud ... which I do almost every post, but this was more of a snort/uncrontrollable laugh this time.
Best wishes, good luck.
Can't wait to see the new bambino!
415. SaltLifeMom said:
I've given birth to three precious children... and, yes, there are some things in the entire process that you forget... but, that exam is seared into the fabric of my memories! You describing here brought back so many emotions... and that excruciating pain! 'Delirious Screamin' Banshee' or 'Crazy Woman in Room 12'were probably the whispered descriptions from the attending nurses... And the relief that floods over you when they have declared that you've made 'progress'... Yes! They'll get out of there and maybe give me a gold sticker... and let me pass out... :)
~Congratulations on your 'progress!' You're stunning... my little girls can't wait to meet 'NOT Maria'! :)
416. Karen said:
Baby watch!!!! Can't wait for your new addition... hang in there, missy.
417. George said:
"Effaced" is such a strong word. I prefer "really drunk."
418. Meegan said:
What's going on with your boobs, woman? They're huge!
419. anna said:
oh I'm so glad you talked about the,"checks". With my first baby I had no idea, I mean NO IDEA--the pain. And I had a mid-wife (writing from Canada) They are supposed to know about these things!
However with my second--didn't hurt so much. Maybe it will get better for you.
here's hoping
wishing you a safe and short labour!
420. Margaret said:
I delivered 8 months ago tomorrow and this just brings it all back- yikes
best wishes for a smooth delivery- looking forward to hearing about #2 (child, that is;)
421. amy said:
Ok, try THIS on for size. Pregnant with twins, had just delivered #1 when he found #2 was breech. So he put his entire HAND through my Cervix to my WOMB and turned baby girl #2. THAT was the most painful 9 minutes of my life!
You look gorgeous dahhling, you really do. Can't wait to 'meet' your new baby!
422. Danielle said:
That was hilariously disgusting.
Am currently blessing the people who thought up vasectomies and birth control.
423. Helen said:
Just wondering if you use Twitter, Dooce? If so, can Jon tweet when you head to the hospital? At least send out a tweet when baby girl arrives! You know that Lance Armstrong did that today(or was it yesterday?). Really had no plans to sign up for Twitter. But, I feel like you are my sister and this is my very own niece coming into the world! You know we all HAVE to be alerted when this momentous occasion occurs!
Have a better idea~~~how about all of us~~~~~what, like 10 bazillion~~~~just send you our cell numbers and Jon can just call all of us individually!
Twitter inventors rock!
424. Lollyblogger said:
Crikey. I remember that exam. I looked up at the ceiling and said "Hey Doc? Umm.. I think you just touched my tonsils." Not fun.
And by the way- today is National Doughnut Day, so get thee to a Krispy Kreme as soon as possible. I hope they have the light on for you.
All the best!
425. jamieapple said:
congrats, on the upcoming arrival of your 2nd child!
as someone who is 'considering' having children someday your honestly, and funny funny/ha ha, is appreciated...
426. April said:
You look AMAZING. Almost all women I have seen at 38 weeks have that just crawled out of bed look after trying to look presentable.
Looking forward to seeing lot of beautiful pictures of the baby.
427. RzDrms said:
i keep eyeing your BOOBS! probably totally against all mormon teachings. but...wowza!
428. Janet said:
OMG! You are so funny! I totally agree with you about the fingers. Those exams ALWAYS hurt with the male doctor I had with all three of my kids. When I was done with the pregnancy thing, I had to change clinics, and got a female doctor. Those exams no longer hurt. Hmmm, either he had short fingers or he figured he had to prove something.
You're doing great!
429. bohica said:
I swear I looked as big as you when I was six months pregnant! By the time I hit the end, the kids were down between my knees. YOU, on the other hand, look positively svelte!
Who's going to let us know when you go into labour? The internets need to know these things. You MUST know that it's more important to inform the masses than to get you to the hospital post-haste ... ;)
430. Anonymous said:
In case you haven't heard it enough lately . . . I found this post hilarious, incredibly creative, and disturbingly 100% accurate. Good luck on your progress. And you are positively BRILLIANT for placing an adult-sized bed in that beautiful nursery. Why don't more people do this? - Austin Mom of Two
431. Mel said:
HEY...I wish there was some chance in hell that you'd see this--looked at your 'HOPE' photo....
Why not name her Hope?
432. Sid said:
Ah...the memories and nightmares your blog keeps bringing back of those long past days of being pregnant. I'm glad I was wise enough to only go through being violated by the fingers of seemingly every human being on earth just once.
I'm amazed by the photos you've been posting of your belly. At 38 weeks, you look about the size I did at 3 weeks. You apparently didn't eat nearly as many donuts as I did!
433. T said:
In response to Tori:
However, it is recommended that underweight women gain considerably more weight during their pregnancy than 20-25 pounds.You just didn't mention it.
-Someone who gained 40 pounds during her pregnancy and was still induced because she wasn't gaining and growing enough.
434. Hey Jude said:
maybe someone already asked this question... how many boobs do you have? Three? Four? Not Maria is "good to go." Congrats in advance and best wishes for a quick one.
435. Nicole said:
Yeouch!! I remember that a bit too much. I also remember being insanely impatient about my 2nd son to COME OUT already! EVERRRRYYYONE said how he'd come out early b/c the 2nd was always early. Sure. Yeah. Right. I wanted to tell everyone to SHUT UP! So, there I was walking with one foot on the curb and one foot on the street around my cul-de-sac during my lunch hour (I work at home) with my huge belly not caring what the neighbors thought because I was the one carrying the extra 50 pounds. So, yeah, he was a few days late but he did come out, at least. I had a VBAC which was pretty damn awesome!
You look great in your picture! And, I hope this one sleeps better than Leta. My first was a HORRIBLE sleeper, but my 2nd was "decent" (not perfect) so you never know. :) Hopefully you get one of those "easy" ones I read about in those things called fairy tales.
436. Lee Twim Mom said:
#286 Comment #15 said she went to 36 weeks with twins (not 39) which physically is like being 48 weeks with just one baby! Sorry this woman didn't "suffer" enough for you but are you aware that before medical intervention (100 + years ago) 1/4 deliveries resulted in maternal and/or infant death?? Multiple pregnancy deliveries much higher death rates. You are right that our society has medicalized the birth process too much, but you have no right to accuse this mom of opting for an induced delivery of her twins for convenience or personal comfort. My twins were induced at 35 weeks because I had pre-eclamspia, my brain had started to swell and without medical treatment I would have died. Please reserve your judgy judgements and try to understand that most pregnant women are very concerned for the health of their babies - not JUST you. You owe that mom and apology and should learn to play nice as you comment annonymously on the internet.
Good luck Dooce!
437. ElGee said:
Baby Hope will be here in a flash, and you look so amazingly beautiful! I'm so excited for you and Jon and Leta, you're going to do so great!
438. Casey said:
Just make sure to stash a box of powdered doughnuts in each of your bathrooms, you know, for sustenance and quick energy, should that baby decide to migrate from the cheap seats over your American Standard.
439. dimplecheek said:
You look AMAZING and happy! Congratulations on rounding third and heading for home plate. That's one lucky little girl waiting to come out. All the best wishes for you, Jon and Leta. (Chuck and Coco too)
440. cybercita said:
omg, you are funny.
441. T-Town Jimmy Jam said:
And the weird thing is that I have to admit that I was all "where is the nurse to check me? It must be time for the epidoral by now" The "checking" nurse became my best friend while in labor...
442. nikkip said:
oh, wow! look at your boobies.
443. Anonymous said:
And now that there is no post today, we'll all be wondering... Was today the day that Not Maria made her appearance?!
It reminds me of the pre-natal classes we took. On day one, our oh-so-cool instructor gave us our best lesson. "Okay, when you go home tonight, call everyone. Your mum, your mum-in-law, your best friend, your employer, your neighbour, your mailman, EVERYONE. Tell them that your doctor was wrong, and your due date has been pushed back by at least three weeks. It's bad enough just waiting for that blessed day on the calendar. [And wondering how long you're going to waddle past it!] Let alone when you're fielding calls, emails and texts from everyone you've told asking you if you've had the babe yet!"
Best wishes to you and your fam as the birth date draws every closer. Such exciting times!
444. Chanel said:
i hope you give birth in a toilet. that would be such an interesting read.
445. Bethany said:
There is something to your facial expression that says... "Tired now... let's do this thing."
Also... let me congratulate your boobs on achieving greatness. I feel fully confident that you will not be offended by my saying so.... since talk of whole hands being jammed up twa's is regular stuff here. Those are not the boobs of last year.... those are the Not Maria boobs of 2009.
Rock that baby birthin'. We all know you will do great.
446. Amy said:
You look great! Best wishes for a safe and healthy delivery.
Does your care provider have to "check"? There is no medical reason for them to do that. I declined for them to do that to me after I found out it made no difference knowing it or not.
447. Brittany said:
It sounds like what you are describing from your check-up is a membrane sweep! This is going to sound crazy, but I was at 41 weeks going on 42 and I requested one....BUT that is because they are meant to get labor started(sometimes they don't do shit though). If I were you I'd be a little ticked with your OBGYN. That in my opinion is something that definitely requires consent even if you are close to 40 weeks. Best wishes though, you are almost there!!
448. AustralianBehemoth said:
Dooce, I'm about 3 weeks behind you, and wishing you all the best for your birth. ANd thanking you for writing so well about it all.
Also, thank you for providing these comments as a public service (cervix?). For instance, there are SO MANY things I have learned reading your blog and the comments. I'd never even heard of this cervical checking thing, and was juuuust getting squirmy when I saw someone else commented from Australia: apparently, we don't do that here. Number 2 reason for living in Australia (number one is all the weird marsuipial action).
for all you legs-crossed, birth control women commenters, I feel like I should say (even though it's totally your choice of course) that I think being pregnant is pretty bloody great. It's so exciting, and there are many days that I still cannot believe this is happening to me. I'm the most cynical person I know, and even so, I still tell everyone I see that it's bloody grand. Completely innate and utterly bizarre all at once. And I have had a pretty shitty pregnancy, and am (probably) heading torwards a complicated birth.
449. Kate said:
First of all, congratulations on the impending birth of your second child. I had my second child 6 months ago, and the two of them are as different as the pregnancies were. And I was much calmer and less depressed after having my second. I, too, had to find a new OBGYN to deliver my daughter. She was kind enough to "stir things up a bit" for me (strip the membrane) so I wouldn't have to have a T-giving baby. The day after my OB did her thing, I went into labor. In fact, my husband nearly had to deliver the baby in the car on the way to the hospital. So, as painful as it may be for them to stick their arm up you, it can benefit you in the long run...you may actually deliver on time.
Kate
CareerMama
450. Christiane said:
Dooce, I've never heard the expression "membrane stripping/sweeping/mutilating" until I read this post. This information combined with my mother-in-law's detailed descriptions of her births (4!) makes me wanna haul out until science has figured out a way how men can take over the baby business. Equality! I can't wait to stand next to my dear husband holding his hand while he's trying to push a baby out of his anus. Ahh, daydreams.
451. Noelle said:
Awesome Rack!!!!! Good Luck with the birthing stuff!
Ok, is anyone else disturbed by #409's post? Am I crazy, or did she just post that her DR groped her and she didn't mind because he looked like Kennedy? #409, please tell me I read that wrong!
452. Myssie said:
I do enjoy your blog, quite funny.
I hope you are aware of your rights as a patient, you can and should say "no thank you" to the frequent requests for cervical checks. Especially if they are that unpleasant for you, during labor this can be huge pain (as you know).
After your bag of waters break, frequent cervical checks can introduce germs into the vagina, like if you happen to be birthing in a teaching hospital with an Ob and there are many eager residents.
Best to you and your family!
453. BJ said:
You look so beautiful! I'm positive that I never looked that good! Sending good vibes your way and hoping for a speedy delivery!
I have to tell you that I snickered 25 times while reading this. You sense of humor is astounding. Just love it!
My daughter Kelli, is expecting her fourth! Yes....you heard right. We are excited to be having another little one coming. Her baby boy is 15 months. The girls are 8 and almost 5. She is the one who encouraged me to start reading Dooce.
454. Darcie said:
If they offer to "sweep your membranes" to help things along.....RUN. Ok at this point waddle but avoid that. Trust me that makes exams look like a walk in the park.
455. Brea said:
Heather,
I am so excited for you and your family! I had to chuckle when I read your newest post, because it's may not be as far from the truth as you think.
Things were moving along quickly with my second childbirth. We got to the hospital and I had in my mind from the pregnancy class that I should empty my bladder to make labor 'easier'.
And then I had my son on the potty.
There was no time to move or anything - I delivered from there with three nurses and my husband crammed in that tiny hospital bathroom. One of the nurses threw her back out helping with the delivery - our doctor missed the whole thing. For the remainder of my hospital stay, we became something of a legend - with each new nurse who came on their shift bustling into the room exclaiming, "Well! Someone was in a hurry to be born!"
In the retelling of this story to my son (who is now 8), we downplay the whole thing a little. Because, really, who wants to be known as 'the boy who was born on the potty'?]
Fondly,
Brea (the one who sent Leta the smell-good Princess markers)
456. Bee said:
Hey Heather, I just have to tell you that I love the badass new masthead! You look like Eva Green in Dreamers. :)
457. Maureen said:
Heather, can you stand another exclamation at how wonderful you look, despite how you might feel?
Oy, reading all these stories. It's been 20+ years, but I still remember being at work on my due date, wishing I were home w/ a newborn, or at least in labor, by then. I worked on the 10th floor of my bldg at the time, got back from lunch to find that the elevators weren't working. Climbing up 9 flights hauling 45 lbs. of baby weight wasn't much fun, but I gotta tell ya, I *did* enjoy watching people's faces as they'd ask "When's your due date?" and I'd reply "Today." Their eyes would bug out and they'd continue up the stairs a lot faster...
When my daughter finally deigned to make her debut, she took her own sweet time about it. I remember one of the midwives saying at one point, upon realizing my baby had finally crowned, "Look at all that hair!" To which I replied "Pull on it!" They thought I was kidding.
After that experience, though, I became convinced that the sun rises & sets on nurse-midwives. My OB wanted to do a C-section because my daughter was being so dilatory, but the midwives kept putting her off, insisting they first try this, that or the other. She ended up being a vaginal delivery, thanks to my midwives' patience and an epidural (though how can I tell if I'm pushing if I can't feel anything down there?!?).
Heather, I'm adding my good wishes for the easiest possible L&D for you and a sister for Leta who's much lower maintenance than her big sister was.
458. Kristin C. said:
Dear Dooce,
Thank you for terrifying me. I am in the 34th week of my first pregnancy. Two days ago I was told that, at my next appointment, they would be doing weekly internal exams to check my cervix. I wasn't worried about that until now.
Wow.
Have a joyful weekend free of fetus' in the toilet,
Kristin
459. Wacky Mommy said:
That makes me feel like a natural woman, reading that post. And once again I think, Glad it's you, sister, and not me, wooo-hooooo.
Everyone's lying, you're not that big. You could go another month. Kidding. It will be any day now.
460. C said:
Oh WOW that sounds horrible!!! Actually makes me sick. I tried to comment on those May 26th white trash pictures but it wouldn't let me a while back. I LOVE LOVE LOVE them and think they should be published in some magazine lol.
461. Stephanie Kay said:
Good god, would it kill people to go back and see that their "helpful" comments have already been posted a bazillion times? I think it's been made more than clear that dilation checks are optional. I'll also go out on a limb and say that once Heather said she was aware of the difference between a cervical check and stripping of membranes, it wasn't necessary to keep telling her OMG THEY STRIPPED UR MEMBRANES YOU HAZ BEEN VIOLATED.
You look amazing, Heather. And I wish you a happy, easy, safe labor and delivery and many joyous months and years with your two little girls.
462. Anonymous said:
Im sure Jon is having some fun with those HUGE boobs :D
463. janncam said:
Dear Heather,
I have been reading your blog for months and never told you how much I love your words, which have frequently left me in tears, either from laughing hysterically or in commiseration. Not to mention the essential "Daily Chuck".
Thank you for lifting my days and I send many blessings and good wishes back to you. You are amazing!
464. Melissa said:
It should be a crime to look THAT good in late pregnancy. Congrats!
465. kim said:
i'm wishing you all the best for the upcoming *youknowwhatthereistocome*. fingers are crossed for a (as) nice (as possible considering...) first meetup and that all goes well. xoxo