• KP

    This Forbes & dooce reader was not surprised at all by 26. Happy Birthday & congrats on it all.

  • Helen Tarnation

    Kids and dogs always have a way of keeping you grounded and knocking you right off that high horse, don’t they??

    Congrats…and again, Marlo is a beauty!

  • http://www.mommytopia.com Mommytopia

    Love your site, just hysterical. I MUST ask you: Where the hell are your haters? I have an okay size audience on my site — no 351 response size audience, though — and have haters. What’s it like to be so universally loved? Universally loved AND #26?

  • RAK Mom

    You have made my day worth living. I think I peed my pants laughing! But I am still giggling and i just dont care! You Rock Madam # 26!!!

  • http://wackymummy.blogspot.com WackyMummy

    Congrats. But OMG did you ever make me laugh! I had to read it again, it was that good. (Sounds almost as good as one of my birthdays.) Of course, it was Coco that tied everything together. And now I’ve let my waffles burn. Oops! =)

  • RCLELAND

    OH MY GOSH!!! I don’t do dogs, but can empathize. I do kids. Altho, I have never had a kid spray urine all over the brand new carpet and walls and people and furniture and… May I say Eeewww!!!?

    Now Poop, poop all over said 2 year old who woke up from her nap and quietly finger painted her crib, body, sheets, walls, and curtains – everything within reach – with poop paint… well you get the picture. I am a slight poopophobic, so you can imagine.

    Congrats on the turning 34 thing, surviving birth and a newborn once again, and that whole 26 thing. Nice! And I am not surprised about the 26 thing. I think it is lovely.

    Someone should make a MasterCard commercial…

  • Cornelia

    Congratulations on 26! That is freaking amazing!! I can’t wait til I have baby moments like those. Only mine will involve cat poop instead of dog piss.

  • http://mellismusings.blogspot.com Melli

    I don’t know about INFLUENTIAL, but you sure are a hell of a lot of fun to read!

  • http://www.WebSavyMom.com Hokie Deb

    –>Congrats!
    You can tell #26, #28 and #29 to Suck It!

    haha….

    http://www.WebSavyMom.com

  • http://www.outspokenandunderpaid.wordpress.com Tanzie

    Fan-fucking-tastic!
    Seriously!
    I am such a proud reader of your rockin’ blog!

  • http://www.ramblingbrooke.com Brooke

    Okay, this post is amazingly amazing. What a great way to start off 34, 26! Congratulations and Happy Birthday ;)

  • http://www.WebSavyMom.com Hokie Deb

    –>Congrats!
    You can tell #27, #28 and #29 to Suck It!

    haha….

    http://www.WebSavyMom.com

  • Eva

    What a hysterical and absolute genius post! You never cease to amaze me in your ability to describe in detail enough to make me feel as I’m the fly on the wall watching the whole morning’s events. Happy Birthday and Congratulations on making #26! Well DESERVED!

  • http://www.number17cherrytreelane.wordpress.com No. 17 Cherry Tree Lane

    Congrats on 26. And you have always kept me way more entertained than K. Couric, so…yeah. You should be like 5.

    Oh, Happy birthday too!!!

  • http://irritableblogsyndrome.typepad.com Dayna

    I can’t believe Kathie Lee Gifford beat you on the list. I don’t know anyone who claims to be influenced by her. Oh this insane world we live in!

  • Kayla

    That’s great and all. Congrats on 26, but where is PART 2 OF THE LABOR STORY?

  • http://prettybabies.blogspot.com Amy

    I am feeling strongly influenced by this post. So much, in fact, that I’m going to go pee all over my dog, just so she can shake it and the walls by MY back door can look just like YOURS!

    Then I’m going to try breastfeeding my kids, too, so they can make newborn poops like Marlo’s. So what if my kids are (nearly) 4 and 2.5? And weaned?

    THAT, my dear, is how influential you are, even though you won’t be my Facebook friend. Congratulations!

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if you’ll get through some 300 and something odd comments to read this simple compliment but, fuck, you have a gift for writing.

  • Beth C

    Just found your blog yesterday off of ABC and absolutely LOVE IT.. I am a young mother of 1 (well 2 if you count my husband).. and your blog is freaking hilarious.. anyway. Laughing at work right now.. not sure if I should be so loud since my cubicle is parked right next to our CEO!! :) just saying!

  • Shelly

    First of all, you rock. Second, you only rock so hard because you are so real all the time. THAT’s why you’re #26.

    CONGRATS!

  • Terri

    Twenty six??? No Way….you’re number one as far as I’m concerned! Oprah, move over baby! Dooce just walked in.

  • Katie Kat

    WOW… TWENTY SIX??????! Awesome. Almost as awesome as picturing you running around the back yard chasing Coco with a hose in just your undies and a piss-stained tshirt. ALMOST… (Take THAT Ann Coulter!)

    CONGRATS!

  • http://manualnotincluded.com Kara

    That’s AMAZING! Happy Birthday and Happy 26!!!

  • http://hopelds.blogspot.com Hope

    Congratulations, 26! I must admit I was slightly disappointed, however, that your Forbes photo was not a milk-leaking, Marlo-dump, urine-soaked-dog one.

    We love you!

  • http://www.thehappypill.typepad.com sara p

    one million billion kazillion congratulations – and happy birthday, of course.

  • Elizabeth

    This is one of the funniest things I have ever read! And why you are on the list. Go #26! Congrats.

  • Anonymous

    Congratulations and Happy Birthday!38-6 ob

  • http://nachfolge.blogspot.com Scott

    Rolling
    On
    The
    Floor
    Laughing
    My
    Ass
    Off

    So funny – thanks for your great writing, Heather. My wife and I love your site, as will our girls when they can read and figure out why we’re shaking with laughter once a day in front of the computer.

  • http://lifeuncommon.org Dawn

    I’m so happy for you I nearly shed a tear. Congrats! Well deserved. Bravo! High five! :)

  • Anonymous

    oh gawd, you are funny. thanks!

  • http://kerrisullivan.blogspot.com/ Kerri Sullivan

    Congratulations, Number 26! I absolutely love this site and everything else you’ve written… very, very well-deserved!

  • Alyxherself

    How long have I been reading this site? 6 years? 7? and this here is the funniest post you have ever written. You are the female equiv of David Sedaris. Funny, self-depreciating, and always wtht a gentle life lesson tossed in like vitamins in fudge. The perfect mom.

  • ProudMary

    ha! you bested Soledad? Does that mean that now she’s wondering if you actually poop?

    Honestly, I can’t believe what you’ve been able to accomplish with a single blog over the years, it’s been astounding to watch. Good work.

  • Karen

    I don’t get it. You write a blog about having kids and pat yourself on the back for being “oh so liberal.” You are funny at times that is very true, so that’s good. I am not minimizing the importance of having and caring for children and writing about it appeals to a whole segment of the population. Okay, yes, many American mothers relate to you so that may explain being on Forbes list. I’m just writing and trying to figure this out at the same time. You are intelligent as can be seen by your writing style so that is also good. Morning shows have interviewed you which serves your reading population. Good, good.
    I read your blog for a little relaxing break from more serious news. Sadly, lots of American people don’t seem to know much about what is going on in the world. I would think women who educate on that in some way would be considered influential. Barbara Walters also serves the same population that you do, although she used to be more informing.
    Your mention on the list is indicative, me thinks, of the insulation of people – “my life, my situation” is what they want to read about. Oooh.
    I’m certain that if anyone reads my comments there will be lots of negative reactions from people who think I am putting them down and that I somehow don’t think what they (and you) do is important. I’m not saying that. I just find this kind of Regis&Kelly and Oprah society kind of sad. Again, you write well and you are funny and I enjoy it. But I don’t feel that you are profound or liberal is perhaps what I am trying to say. As I’ve written before, it is easy to be seen as liberal in Utah, it doesn’t take much. Drink a bit, have lots of sex outside of marriage, support Obama and gay marriage and boom, you’re liberal. Throw in a smattering of information once in awhile about other countries and boom, you’re liberal.
    That’s America.

  • Bridget

    The Ann Coulter comment sounds like it came from my hubby and my dad!!

    Laughed and laughed. Thanks for being number 26 and giving us a hilarious description of the special events surrounding this honor.

  • http://www.surprisingwoman.com/blog Brenda

    I can just imagine all those stuffed shirt Forbes people scratching their heads after reading this post and going, really? This? Really?

    This is great, congrats!

  • Bridgette

    It was my little boys b-day yesterday and it’s about how my day went too, except for the being #26 on any list. Highly entertaining.

  • http://homegrown-insanity.blogspot.com Tracylea

    I’m stoked for you and yours! You deserve to be 26. I’ll even go so far as to say in this household you are far above a 26. You are right in our top ten. Okay I’m trying to not scare you because really you are our one and only influential woman in media around here. We adore you. And I adore (and yet feel slightly guilty) that I chuckled through the entire coco half of your entry.

  • Kathy

    Happy-Congrats-Birthday-XXVI…
    Wow! What an honor! I read your post today and laughed out loud as I do frequently when checking in. You and your family are amazing. I hope you continue and are soon at the top of the list–move over Oprah!

  • mel

    I never got the whole thing about being *first* to comment.

    But, shit…I just might find pleasure in being 26th.

    Too bad I’m 301st, here.

  • Jessica

    It does not escape me that Soledad O’brien is after you. I remember when you were interviewed by her and how impressed (intimidated?) you were, and now according to Forbes you are three places on the list higher than her. That is amazing, Heather.

    Thanks for the daily dose of body fluids! Love Dooce dot com!

  • http://jayesel.net Jen

    I always knew celebrities were just like us. THAT is why you’re #26.

  • Cindymars7

    Only you Heather….My goodness, I have never,EVER, enjoyed reading something so much as this. I was in my basement, sewing away the time, when I started shaking violently and then remembered: “I haven’t read her blog today, this is why I am shaking”…Girl, you made me laugh so incredibly hard that I almost fell off the chair..
    You deserve this more than anyone in this earth..Congratulations on being 26!!

    Ohh my stomach,,,I better stop now..

  • Alexandra R

    I’ve been visiting your site for years, but never commented. I was just reading this entry while nursing our firstborn, and I really had to try and contain myself so as to not spaz out the baby. I’m mainly writing because out of all the things I’ve read, it’s so good to know that your baby makes all those noises while they sleep too, because it was really freaking us out… Love the photos, and all the stories about you, Jon, your kids, and the dogs (among other things). Keep it up, #26! (And while I was preoccupied typing this, our baby was quietly losing her lunch all over me… unbelievable. So not making that up.)

  • Jan

    Happy 34th birthday! My dear (and I mean that in the nicest possible way), when I was your age I had a PhD and jackshit else. Having failed to see through the academic achievement marker bu–sh–, I was stringing for a dinky local newspaper about junk car ordinances (actually pretty interesting), living with my parents, and a turd to guys. Look at you! Two beautiful daughters, a (dam hot and intelligent) husband, a house, one dog (and one um, well, eliminatory excrescence), a brand name, book(s), an international presence, cool accessories and tschatckes, reasonable peace with your immediate family. True, you’ve had some serious issues to overcome, but you did, and I’m so happy for you!

  • http://www.spriteskeeper.com Sprite’s Keeper

    Oprah who?
    Congratulations!
    And happy birthday!

  • http://www.justanotherjenn.com justanotherjenn

    Remember when Soledad O’brien interviewed you and you wrote about her awesomeness? And her skin and her even more awesomeness?

    And remember when you BEAT HER ON THE LIST? Sweet bitches.

  • Marta

    While it is awful that Coco pissed on herself while sleeping, it could have been worse–it could have been you who pissed on herself while sleeping. Hopefully if this ever happens on your birthday, or any day, you’ll be very old and someone else will have to clean you up!

    Happy b-day and congrats on being #26. Anyone who can make us all laugh day after day totally deserves it!

  • http://www.celebratingwomen.wordpress.com Sheri

    Congratulations! That is awesome.

    This post brings back memories!

  • Eloise

    Funniest post ever.
    Happy birthday.