• Edith

    It was a wonderfully romantic and touching post, thank you for sharing. I am clinically scared of commitments, I mean REALLY scared but I know I’m completely unreasonable about it… Hell, maybe I need therapy too.
    I’ve only been reading your blog for about 6-7 months so I just realised that we are exactly the same age. And there you go with a truly loving husband and two wonderful girls (Leta is amazing and I’m sure Marlo will have a great personality too) and you’re working your way through difficulties, depression, holding it all together.
    And here I am, afraid even to commit myself to have a boyfriend. Yeah, I need therapy.
    Your blog is great, thanks for sharing your life with complete strangers!

  • Jackie

    I loved Jon’s post and I love this one too – you guys are incredible! I can only hope that I find the same love you two have. I am 28, currently single, and totally baby hungry, but that’s ok because I know what I am holding out for :)

  • Voice of Reason

    You know what? You just really do not need to be having kids. If you are a psycho on meds, you have a responsibility NOT to pop out babies even if you “reaaaaally waaaant” them, you selfish cow.

    Oh, I forgot, kids = Dooce’s meal tickets.

    Would you just keep your damn legs shut? For fuck’s sake, STOP taking that douchebag husband’s live ammo squirts up your cooter.

  • Bert Bell

    I am a support person for a friend who is Bipolar & Borderline personality. what Jon said basically sums up a support person’s role…..just listen. What a lovely marriage and family you have. Many blessings!

  • http://mikeramblings.blogspot.com/ MC Etcher

    Wow, I so have a man-crush on Jon. Of course, I’d have to fight my wife for him, but it might be worth it.

  • Caitlin

    THank you again for being open and honest. I wish for so many people that they could escape the fear and shame over GETTING HELP for depression. It is a disease to be managed, just like any other ailment, and asking for help is one of the bravest and selfless things you can do for yourself and loved ones.

    I always enjoy your Jon-heavy posts! I hope someday I find a man as loving and dedicated as him; the love you two have for each-other is a joy to witness, even through a computer screen.

  • JenX

    He must be quite an interesting individual to put up with your shinanigans all these years. You’re relationship is quite beautiful. Thanks for the post.

  • http://twitter.com/laynemarie Layne

    You gave me goosebumps! I gushed enough commenting on Jon’s post yesterday, but here I am again all sentimental and teary-eyed. And this is worth repeating here: I truly admire the life you and Jon have built. Thank you for sharing it with your legions.

  • http://makingmecranky.com/ Maggie Keegan-Gross

    Oh God, Now I’m crying AND I want to go make another baby with my husband!

  • Kate F.

    Well, shit. That made me tear up, Heather. How very poignant and sweet! *off to hunt the tissues*

  • leyman

    crying my f*cking eyes out, Heather… thank you and Jon so much….

  • Hilary

    LOVE IT. It always sounds so great to hear a woman say she loves her husband (and vice versa). I hate it when people bash their partners to others.

  • leyman

    ohh, and please proceed to make as many new humans as you can…. this troubled world so needs so far many of you two and your ilk in it….

  • http://marymoores.blogspot.com/ Mary@Holy Mackerel

    Heather, I so know where you’re coming from with all this. Jon is a keeper, as are you.

    My husband too deserves the big gold medal for putting up with me and my many issues all these many years we’ve been together. My issues are both physical and mental, but for some reason, he’s stuck by me, and I am so grateful for it. Our guys are the best.

  • http://www.kate.net/ Kate

    Beautiful posts by both of you. Thank you for sharing them with us all.

  • Mama B

    Great post and great insight on both your parts. Wonderful for you that you feel such deep love for your husband after all you have been through together. And thank HIM for saying “Just listen”. Congrats to you both.

  • http://www.toomanymornings.com MikeWJ

    Do you really love your husband that much? Day in a day out? Or was this about today?

    Because, and I’m just being honest here, you sound a little like a high school girl talking about her dreamy new boyfriend the star quarterback, not a middle-aged mother with two dogs, two kids, a job that requires you to live and work in the same place 365 days a year. Which is a snarky way of saying that you sound very, very young and inexperienced.

    But if you really, really do love him like that–and he certainly sounds truly lovable in both his and your posts–then I’m deeply impressed because I don’t know a single married couple who feels life is that good, not even newlyweds.

    And before anybody overreacts, I’m not being deliberately negative here, or trying to sound overly critical, or trying to dampen your mood, because it’s great to have that lovin’ feeling, and congratulations if you do. I’m just trying to understand exactly what it is that informs this particular post.

  • http://bumbling.typepad.com Gina

    I think that you can safely say that you two have gone through the wringer and emerged a little torn up but much stronger for it. You two suit each other so well; your kids are lucky to have you both as their parents.

  • http://retsbew.com AmyElle

    I can only say wow. I cried reading it all. I heart you both, for your dedication to each other, to yourselves, to your family. Right as I am cycling down, I read something from one of you, and start getting my hopefulness back. Thank you. Thank you for sharing so much of yourselves with the rest of the world.

  • Katherine

    I have to say, I’m not married yet, nor do my fiance or I have any depression/mental illnesses. But those posts from Jon were SO encouraging. I liked reading a man’s point of view on the work a relationship takes. It makes me realize what I have to do as well, and makes me want to stop and listen more to his needs.

    I, too, need to be asked several times if something is wrong before I’ll answer, even though it’s fairly obvious when it is. Now I know how he feels and what he needs. Thank you Heather, for directing us to those, and to Jon for having the courage to post them!

  • Idaho girl

    That is one of the most touching posts I have read on your website. Thank you for sharing such personal details. I suffer from depression and sometimes I feel sooooo guilty for the added burden it brings to our lives. My husband is very supportive and loving but still has a hard time recognizing when the depression or anxiety is influencing my behavior. I’m going to share Jon’s story with him and others that may benefit from his perspective.

  • http://www.3kids2jobs1dog.com Mandy

    Having another baby has made you mushy.

    I like it. This post was very sweet.

  • gina

    holy shit i just burst into tears.

  • Kerstin

    After going through (barely that is…) severe PPD after our daugther was born and suffering crazy posttraumatic stress syndrome when pregnant the second time around (which ended up in a miscarriage as well) I am amazed my husband was also willing to to try again and can share this feeling of amazing love for him. It takes very special men, right!?!
    I hope this third pregnancy works out as well as yours – so far so good; I feel like I got all the crazyness and fear out of my system with the second pregnancy and am so very greatful – sure helps my husband to look more forward to everything too…

  • R

    #307 – Voice of Insanity,

    You, shove a sock in it. I’d call YOU a selfish cow because you’re taking a very kind-hearted and sweet post, and mutilating it beyond belief. What the fuck is your problem? Did Heather steal your boyfriend in a past life?

    But, what good will it do to actually say anything? Your kind are the ones that don’t really deserve to breathe life on this planet, why am I wasting my breath and thought on you? Because your mean. And mean people suck.

    YOU are the one that needs to go get a lobotomy, your horrid piece of shit.
    Mental illness affects people of every walk of life. It’s how we deal with it that matters. Heather and Jon are doing wonderfully, despite the bumps along the road. And whether you like it or not, people with mental illness breed every day. It’s a fact of life. Just like having brown eyes or blue eyes. oh, wait, brown-eyed people need to be gassed and executed, right? It seems like you could use a trip to inpatient for awhile to get your borderline personality under control.

    Whew. I feel better. Unadulterated meanness really pisses me off.

    Heather, Jon, Leta, and Marlo: You guys ROCK! Keep up the good work and giving those like us out there hope that there *IS* life beyond illness! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I thank you from the bottom of my heart every single day for your blog, your honesty, and your openness about what you’ve been through. You are so wonderfully refreshing. Thank you.

  • Eunice

    Ahh! This post made me teary-eyed. You guys are the best!

  • Sara

    I had a similar sense of appreciation for my husband last night. I’m reading “Little Earthquakes” and was really moved, remembering the challenges that pregnancy, birth and their aftermath introduced into our relationship. My husband has been so wonderful when I’ve had no time, energy or interest in nurturing his body, mind or spirit.

  • http://thedalaimama.net The Dalai Mama

    You are lucky and wonderful for noting that. You are lucky to have found that man who so perfectly compliments you. Reading this made me think back to my husband and his tremendous strength through all the failed fertility treatments and how when I broke down because I was “broken” he held me and told me that none of that mattered.

    It is great to find that one who will put up with your shit, but also knows how to help you out of the shit and doesn’t mind that you smell bad when it’s all over.

  • Lauri

    Dear Lalala –

    You suck – go away…

    Dear Heather and Jon – you guys are what real love is all about…can’t be perfect or pretty all the time, but it has to be real and that’s what you have…Leta and Marlo are extremely lucky to be yours. Thanks for sharing

  • http://liandriel.livejournal.com Kate

    Jon’s a good man. You and he are very lucky to have each other. :)

  • http://yogabitch.blogspot.com kRIstin kaminski

    ummmm…it’s almost August. Soooooo, that masthead ’bout ready?

  • Eveline

    I have a boyfriend who listens and you just made me the most thankful girl in the world.
    Thanks for sharing

  • Anonymous

    Reading this puts a pretty fine focus for me on my own marriage. There is trouble there and sentiments like this remind me of how it could be, or should be. It’s sad that this makes me realize my marriage is not what I want it to be, but good because it inspires me to do something about it. To either try harder and be happier together, or try harder and realize we’d be happier apart. Thanks for the reminder that that happiness is possible.

  • http://truebeautyinsideandout.blogspot.com R.Wallis @ TrueBeauty

    You two share so much love for each other and your children. Its awesome! Great post!

  • girlplease

    Your’e very lucky to have someone who understands and wants to understand; with no judgement or “hmm”. Mine used to understand. He gave up trying. Now we maintain denial on all sorts of subjects. Not good.

    It’s nice to see that understanding and love is possible. Maybe ours will come back.

    In the meantime, my son gives me every reason to fight and be normal. That is if you call teaching him the lyrics to Atomic Dog with a snazzy dance move “normal”. :)

  • http://www.bowsforbaby.blogspot.com Kelsey Jezierski

    Awww… That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard…

    I have those days. My husband and I have been married for 4 plus years…and it still seems like we just got married.

    My husband is in the army and currently deployed to Afghanistan. There are days when all I want to do is stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my head. But I drag myself out of bed because our two year old daughter needs me. When I’m really missing Eric, all I have to do is look at Brooke and I see what the love of two people makes. It’s perfect. Even when she’s throwing a typical two year old tantrum and all I want to do is overnight her to her grandparents in Minnesota.

    I am so thankful to have a husband like mine. Like yours, he has realized that all he needs to do is listen. There are some days where all of my frustrations have built up to the point of a violent explosion, but he knows that if he just lets me rant, rave, and bitch, when I’m done, I’ll be fine. I love my husband because he recognizes that being a full time mom is a job in itself. He never expects the house to be spotless, dinner on the table by the time he walks in the door or for me to be little miss suzy homemaker. He does the dishes, he takes out the trash, he washes all of his own clothes and helps me with all of the household chores. He takes care of our family while fighting for this country’s freedom. How could have I found a better husband and father for our children?

    There are days where all I want to do is kick him in his man parts, but I take a step back, take a deep breath and realize that if I did that, he wouldn’t be able to help me make anymore beautiful children. And then he goes and does something wonderful, like bring me flowers or clean out my car. :)

    It’s hard to find someone so completely compatible with you…so when you find them, hold on for dear life! It looks like we both found our perfect matches.

  • http://www.larabie.org Kelly

    What a wonderful hubby you have! He is in the same category as mine. I experienced “mild” PPD after the birth of each of my children. I am so very thankful for the love & support of my wonderful husband.

    Go Jon!

  • John

    As a male reader of this site, I particularly enjoy the contrast of Jon’s voice with Heather’s when reading about their styles and relationship. Anyone who’s found the love of their life can tell you that the answer to “what it is” or “what makes it work” is often too layered and complex for such a casual question. This post did as good a job as I’ve read of subtly alluding to it without compromising the private subtleties of the husband-wife bond. It made me cry. If that makes me a little gay today, I’m fine with it.

  • http://www.savethislink.net Hamming

    Nice story. It makes me feel warm in my heart.

  • http://www.sunshine-cupcakes.com Kara

    Oh goodness, that was beautiful, as was Jon’s post yesterday. I love that you two can be open, honest, and real for the sake of other couples going through the same thing.

    Kudos!!!! (And thanks a lot for making me teary-eyed again at work)

  • JennC

    Heather, dearest Heather. Thank you for your wonderful blog, thank you for making me laugh and cry and be amazed at this life we (collectively) are living. I am so glad you found Jon and that you married him and that you are in love again and again and again. But if you don’t write the second fucking half of Marlo’s birth story I am going to lose my ever-lovin’ mind and let me tell you this: I am not going down alone. See what I’m sayin’?
    Alright then.

  • http://theishu.wordpress.com theishu


  • Cindy

    Does your husband get a period too? He hero worships you like he’s June Cleaver and you are the dumb boring dad who can do no wrong. It probably is justified as he would have to get a real job if you weren’t willing to embarass your parents siblings and leta to make some cash. You really do have boundary issues and demand unconditional praise constantly. Narcissist much? You and Sarah palin have a lot in common.

  • Kelly

    Beautiful posts, by both of you. Reminders (both) that there is so much to appreciate in our partners, kids and lives. Thank you, both of you, for being so honest and open.

  • Helen Tarnation

    Bravo..that’s it, just…Bravo!

  • http://www.WebSavyMom.com Hokie Deb

    –>What a nice exchange between the two of you. I don’t think I could work from home with my husband. EVER.

    Love him, but we need time AWAY from each other.


  • Lilliah

    Um, when I saw the entry above this one, I thought it said “Vagina Globes”. I blame that on you.

    @ 327. Cindy –

    You and bored people with foul attitudes have a lot in common.

  • Karrie

    Heather I loved reading that, it is a great testament to what marriage really is and should be. I am so in love with my husband as well and didn’t expect to be because divorce and problems in marriage seem to surround me, I just figured I might feel that way eventually too. But I don’t, after 12 years together I’m in deeper love with him than I thought possible. Jon sounds like an awesome husband and it is so plain to see his devotion and love for you.

  • http://Ventletters.com Lamar


    It’s great that you can realize one of the most important of your many blessings.

  • http://www.digibutter.com Digibutter

    This brought tears for me as well. When I read what Jon had posted it made me realize that you guys have an extremely amazing one of a kind love. You guys are so in love and I wish you all the best!