The labor story, part two
Five years ago when I was experiencing postpartum depression with Leta I was actively seeing a therapist to try and talk my way up and out and through the darkness. This therapist is by far the best one I've ever seen, and I've recommended her to almost everyone I know. Have a hangnail? GO SEE THIS THERAPIST. She's just totally no nonsense, out with it now, and will tell you exactly what you need to hear even if you don't want to hear it. I cannot count the times she has rolled her eyes, shaken her head and said, "Well, Heather, if that wasn't the stupidest thing you've ever done. Is it me, or do you just get dumber?"
One of the best pieces of advice she ever gave me was to hire a babysitter for a few hours a week so that I could take some time for myself, and that's exactly what we did. Jon put an ad in the paper and we interviewed several potential candidates, and WOWEE was that ever an experiment in trying to keep our jaws from falling off our faces and bouncing on the floor. Some of the people who responded to the ad were just total nutjobs, people you would not trust with your pet rock let alone your infant, and I'm not even kidding, one woman casually mentioned that her sixteen-year-old daughter was pregnant and her eighteen-year-old son was in prison. BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN THE END OF IT. I guess she was excommunicated from the Mormon church because of some horrible indiscretions THAT SHE'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT. When all we asked was, "Tell us a little about yourself."
Turns out that we hired the first person who responded to the ad, a delightfully fresh-faced eighteen-year-old named Katey who could speak in complete sentences and didn't have a criminal record. I think I've mentioned her on this website a couple of times (let's see, here and here and here). I even thank her in the acknowledgements section of my book for giving me the time that I needed to find the mind that I had lost. We loved how well she handled Leta, and Leta absolutely adored her. She worked for us for two years and then, well, I'm not going to get into too much detail, but things ended and there were tears and I think someone may have lost a limb and then there was that call from the president of Guyana and I had to go into hiding. The end.
And then about a year ago as my book deadline approached and my schedule starting getting crazier and crazier we realized that the only way anything was ever going to get done was by hiring someone to help out. So in June of 2008 The Blurbodoocery decided to hire its first employee, an assistant, and since I'd made amends with the government of Guyana through several months of arduous negotiations involving lawyers, heavy artillery, and one very cooperative Norwegian pole dancer (don't ask), I called up Katey and asked if she'd like to quit the job she was working and come work for us. I may have actually pleaded, bribed, cried and/or clung to her leg. She agreed on one condition: that I pay her money. And I was all SOME PEOPLE! Can you believe the nerve?
And she's been every bit the perfect employee we thought she'd be, managing everything from the schedule of my book tour to keeping our business lives organized to handling press inquiries. And you may be wondering why I haven't yet mentioned her? Why has it taken this long? And here's where I remind you about that one time I got fired for talking about work on my website. Remember that? Yeah, well, I'm still pretty tender in that area and think you should be very careful when you write about work on the Internet, whether you're the employee or the employer, and since this was my first time being on the employer end I was all NO WAY NO HOW. Even now as I write this I feel like Elmer Fudd tiptoeing through the forest, like I'm about to step on a bomb or something, and what if Katey reads this, calls me into her office and says, "We need to have a talk." And next thing you know I'm being walked to my car with all my belongings in a cardboard box.
All of this was a roundabout way of getting to the part last August when one afternoon she comes running into my office with a freshly-peed on pregnancy test, a spare one I'd had lying around, one whose box and instructions I had long thrown away. And her hand is shaking so badly that I can barely make out what line is going in which direction, and she's all IS THIS POSITIVE?! And I'm all HOW SHOULD I KNOW, WHERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS? And she's all ARMSTRONG, IF YOU WEREN'T PAYING MY SALARY I'D HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THIS THING.
So we immediately google pregnancy tests, and I look at her and she looks at me and I'm all I SURE HOPE YOU DON'T GET A SCREAMER.
That was six weeks before I got pregnant, and so here's where we take a moment of silence to honor Jon and what he had to endure for the following nine months as he basically lived with two pregnant women. Double the complaining and bitching and neurotic pacing over the weight gain. Seriously, how do polygamists do it? I mean, at least Jon could drink. Polygamists not only do it willingly, THEY DO IT SOBER.
Anyway, Katey casually mentioned one day that she was thinking about trying to have a natural childbirth, and I was all, oh honey, that's what we all say. And then we get hit with that one whammy contraction and realize that God made epidurals for a reason! Because I know so many women, myself included, who think in our first pregnancies that we'll just "see how things go." And that if we've overestimated our threshold for pain we'll give in to the possibility of pain relief. Ha! No, let me restate that: HA! There is nothing in life that you can really compare to the pain of labor, NOTHING, so the "idea" of your threshold for pain is as useless as a piece of shit.
And I may have actually said those words to her. You know, because I'm encouraging that way. And then I finished that sentiment with YOU'RE TOTALLY FUCKING INSANE.
Except Katey did what many of us did not do during our first pregnancies: she prepared! She researched! She hired a doula! And not once did she mention any of this to me, not once did she ever try to preach to me or change my mind, and there I was shaking my head in my brain thinking THERE IS NO WAY she has any idea what she's in for. So you can imagine her surprise when one day about three weeks before she was due she got a text message from me that said, "Hey... um... yeah... so... I think I want to try and have a natural childbirth."
Her response was to call Jon and tell him that someone had stolen my phone and was texting her with it.
A couple of weeks later I get a frantic phone call from Katey's mother at 7:30AM saying that she's been at the hospital since midnight. She'd been having painful contractions all day, decided finally to head to the hospital, and when they took her blood pressure and found it to be dangerously high they put her on pitocin immediately to make sure labor continued. At this point I hear a noise in the background unlike any noise I have ever heard in my life, a combination of a growl, a roar, and a murderous yawping. I ask Katey's mother if there is a lion in the room with them who is busily eating a rather talkative jackal while simultaneously groaning out a bowel movement.
Oh no, no lion, that's just Katey in the background who has refused any and all pain medication.
Now, wait a minute.
She's been at the hospital for how long? Almost eight hours. And how long has she been hooked up to pitocin? All eight of those hours. And how far dilated is she? A three.
A THREE? A THREE?
A THREE???????
For those of you familiar with labor and delivery you will understand why I capitalized those letters and used seven question marks. For those unfamiliar you should understand that when you're in labor and you ask the nurse how far dilated you are, there's only one right answer: TEN. All other answers are wrong because it means you're not done yet.
Katey had SEVEN MORE CENTIMETERS TO GO. SEVEN. One, two, three.... do you see where I'm going with this? And she'd already been in hard, uncomfortable labor for eight hours, and then a day of awful contractions before that... who knew how long this could go on. It could go on for days. Maybe years. She could be the first person in the history of the world to labor FOREVER. YOU NEVER KNOW.
So I'm thinking, hey, I'll take my time, eat my breakfast, take Leta to school and obey all traffic laws on my way up to the hospital with the idea that when I get there she'll have progressed a few more centimeters. Except thirty minutes later the phone rings. And I don't recognize the number. And when I say hello the person on the other end doesn't say a word of English for a few sentences and then goes, "NINE!"
And I go, "I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number."
And Katey's mom goes, "HEATHER! SHE'S AT A NINE!"
Turns out that when they broke her water she dilated six more centimeters almost instantly, and there I am throwing on clothes, running red lights, parking like I'm blind, and hauling ass from the garage to the desk at labor and delivery. I tell them I'm there for Katey Kendall, and I'm not kidding, all four people behind the desk whip around and go, "Another one?"
Turns out there are more people in Katey's delivery room than there are in the city of Boise, Idaho. No, really. Like hundreds of them. Every person she ever thought about being related to? They are in that room. And when I open the door there is not a word being said, not a noise being made, it is as quiet as the pause between words in a prayer. I turn my head to see a sweat-drenched Katey lying on the hospital bed surrounded by her sisters, and without even thinking, in the middle of all that silence I go, "YOU ARE A TOTAL FUCKING CHAMP!"
I think this is what my therapist would refer to as me getting dumber.
Just then a contraction hits Katey, and like a well-oiled machine her sisters jump into action. They are all pushing on her body at different strategic points, and as Katey growls and mumbles and digs down into her gut to survive the pain, everyone else is calling out from different corners of the room, "You're doing it!" or "That's awesome!" or "Keep it up!" The cheering and pushing and growling continue for what seems like a couple of minutes, what must have seemed like eternity for Katey, and when it's apparent that the contraction has ended, the room immediately sinks right back into silence. No one talks. Every single person is focused on Katey's next move.
This goes on for another hour and a half, because even though she is dilated to a nine a lip has formed at the cervix and is refusing to budge. Katey is miserable, her hair is completely soaked with sweat, and you can hear that her vocal chords are shredded from all the groaning. At one point during a contraction she yells, "Please! PLEASE! JUST HELP ME!" And I want to cry, her mother is bawling, and everyone else is cheering, "You can do this! YOU'RE DOING THIS! HANG IN THERE!"
The rest of this story goes like many other birthing stories, because when it was time to push she pushed like a champion, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones in the room to have a view of the baby as she came out, first her head and then her right arm came flying out, like, "Ta da! Here I am!" And then everyone in the room started crying. They named her Lily Blanche.
But what I guess makes this story quite different than any other birth I've personally attended or seen is the reverence with which every single person in that room treated the experience. It was like church in there, and for the hour and a half that I witnessed it, I just couldn't believe it. It almost didn't seem real. And as much as it was Katey's experience and everything that she had hoped it would be, it's what she gave to the rest of us that I won't ever forget. Because we all had to come together, all four hundred and eighty of us, for her. We all gained something incredible from forming that community around her.
And the courage that she showed, the endurance, the sheer power of getting through contraction after contraction, I was just so inspired, so touched to be so close to something so primal and raw and vulnerable as she was during those hours, so thankful that she let me be a part of it. And I knew I would never be the same person after having witnessed it.
I got home about an hour later, my face a mess of tears and snot, and told Jon, "I can't wait to give you what that birth just gave me."
....
Part three, the final installment, coming soon. Right now I've got a cute baby who is giving all her smiles to Jon, and that's just not at all fair.
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Heather talks about Valentine's Day on today's Momversation.
- I know zero about sports, but my entire heart is screaming, "Go Saints! Go Saints!" I am a stereotypical woman. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, JON!
- Marlo has a tooth! So says the blood that she drew when she grabbed my hand and tried to gnaw off my thumb!
- Leta won't eat her birthday cake. I guess we should have made it out of chicken nuggets and iced it with refried beans.
1. alice q. said:
Thanks for sharing your story, and for a much needed chuckle!
2. Betsy said:
Beautiful!
3. Sara said:
Wow. Katey is a Badass, and wee Lily is a stunner.
Can't wait for part 3. I'm already having sympathy pains for you just thinking about it.
4. elisabeth said:
I got chills. They're multiplying....
5. Christine said:
oh, you're such a tease, Heather
6. jackie said:
hurry!!
7. Claire said:
I start reading thinking this is it.. the story of Marlo's birth then WHAM you blindside me with a part 3! So far so good, can not wait to read more!
8. Sharon said:
What a study in persistence! I had a few tears when I read Lily Blanche's name...my mom's name was Blanche, and today would have been her 82nd birthday.
Welcome to the world, beautiful Lily Blanche!
9. jlj said:
THAT was extremely beautiful. Thank you. I can't wait to read the rest.
10. Kady's Mama said:
There is nothing more satisfying than a natural, drug-free childbirth. That was one of my biggest achievements in my life. Congratulations Katey, beautiful baby. Can't wait to hear part three!
11. robyn said:
Katey is a trooper! It takes such mental strength to hang on and keep going without meds.
Can't wait for part 3!
12. Emily said:
Thanks for that, Heather. Very awesome to know about how strong women can be.
13. THAT RIDICULOUS GIRL said:
Your writing is so raw -- I was transported into the delivery room with you! Hurry up on Part Three already! Some of us don't have jobs this summer! :)
14. Stephen said:
I was there for two of those drug free wonder woman natural deliveries. The boys are now 22 and 24. After 29 years of marriage one of the top 5 reasons I'm still here is because she did "that" for us. (and the boys) The only downside is that i can't get any sympathy when i whine about MAJOR problems like headache, sore back, stubbed toe................steve
15. No.17 Cherry Tree Lane said:
Sitting on my couch, crying.
I wish I had that experience and hope for it in the future.
Truly miraculous.
16. Sarah said:
Can't. Wait.
17. erika said:
I felt superhuman after my natural delivery....it's an experience I wouldn't trade for anything in this world.
18. Milla said:
whoa, i feel my ovaries tingling. i think that gave me contact high.
19. newbuffalomom said:
Women are stronger than you can imagine. :-)
I wish I could have another homebirth.
20. Monica said:
Sure are a lot of blue eyed babies in Utah!
21. JIll Put Up A Blog said:
Gosh, I don't know. I still want all the drugs...scary! I can see how it would be inspiring having witnessed it though. Can't wait to hear the rest!
22. Marydaily said:
So fantastic that you had the opportunity to experience something like this. I saw my sister have a natural childbirth at age 12 (!) and it really helped me prepare for my daughter's birth 15 years later; I knew I could do it, I knew it could be done.
Congratulations to Katey & can't wait to hear your story.
23. Trinity said:
Looking forward to part III...
24. Stef said:
Wow...8 hours of pitocin and no epidural...Katey is a Super for sure.
Great story and baby is adorable.
25. Yolanda said:
Wow. I think I was holding my breath through at least half of that. Way to rock it, Katey.
(PS I love that another woman's birthday story is considered an essential part of your own. It feels so sisterly. So, I'm every woman.)
26. Nickea said:
Beautiful.
I definitely teared up.
27. Kelly said:
Great post, and that picture of you and Marlo. Well Marlo, yeah yeah yeah. But, you, you have never looked more beautiful.
28. Mariah said:
Wow! That's an amazing story, I can't wait to read part three... I was rolling with laughter, I just love how you put your experiences to words.
29. Amanda Brumfield said:
*Sob*
30. Rachel said:
Good grief, this post made me cry. I was one of those ones that "attempted" to go natural with my first birth. I made it to a 7 (but I thought I was at a 3 and mentally I couldn't fathom going any further- I am truly amazed by Katey!), but this story has strengthened my resolve to go natural the next time around! Thanks for the added inspiration!
31. Gennie said:
Isn't it amazing what being at a birth like that gives to an observer? It's amazing every time.
32. Tim said:
I'm a single guy with no children, and....wow. Thank you for sharing that story - I got goose bumps. As much as I think I can imagine how amazing that experience would be, realistically there's no way - they're just words in my head.
I'm glad you (and the others) were able to experience that - congratulations to Katey!
33. Darcy said:
Oh! Somehow this morning when I checked and there was nothing new, I was certain that later today there'd be another labor story installment! Go me! I'm totally psychic!
Anyway, tears and joy and laughter all together. My favorite. I can't wait for the rest!
And, GO KATEY!
34. Rio Gringa said:
That was great! I'm waiting for Part III to see if you can convince me that a natural birth is the way to go (after Part II, I'm still thinking along the lines of no way!)
In regards to the issue of mixing work and blogging, I agree. But once you start, there's no going back; there will always be at least one post on the record for all to see. And I think you did a great job with this, but reading about whatever fallout you had with your assistant just made me want to know what ACTUALLY happened, and now that's all I care about after reading this post.
35. hoskas said:
Wonderful story! Congratulations to Katey and the beautiful Lily Blanche. Katey you are BADASS - well done lady!
36. Nikki said:
I'm going natural all the way, have been interviewing Doulas and I have to say - this is my first baby and I haven't felt the slightest bit scared of all that pain stuff. I know the pain will suck, but totally worth it. And dare I say, I'm looking forward to it?
I wanted to also add, though - PITOCIN. EVIL You mentioned The Business of Giving Birth - there's an entire explanation in there of how pitocin actually makes birth a million times more painful. So if she was put on pit AND still managed to make it through with no epidural... WOW. Inspiring.
37. liza said:
AHHHHH! The suspense is killing me!
That's an amazing story and I'm so glad you are writing in such a real way about the power of natural childbirth. My daughter's (med-free) birth was the most amazing experience of my life, the second she came out I thought "I want to do that again," and I tell that to every pregnant woman I know to try to combat in some small way the constant societal message that childbirth is nothing but terrible pain to be feared and managed medically.
Your audience is a bit larger than mine, though, which is why I'm so glad you're sharing your story too :)
38. ZDub said:
Congrats to Katey for being so brave and such a birthing ninja.
And her baby is ADORBS.
39. Mandy said:
And then I cried.
Well written.
XO to both new babies.
40. beyond said:
heather, you are such a great storyteller. all the best to katey and the wee blue-eyed one.
41. Karen Olson said:
Wow. I held my breath the whole time while reading that.
But it still doesn't make me less happy that instead of experiencing childbirth I traveled to China and was handed a beautiful little 1-year-old who was sobbing uncontrollably while clutching rice crackers.
Congratulations to Katey and Lily and the rest of her family!
42. Labradoris said:
GAH! I love it.
I swear I read your posts faster than I read anything in my professional or personal life, and when I reach the end, I'm like, shall I read it again? LET'S.
43. Devon said:
Wow. Hearing your story has both inspired and terrified me!
Thank you for having the courage to share. :)
44. Girlbert said:
My heart, and my uterus, are both thumping with joy...
Thank you and Katey for sharing this magical story. You are two VERY lucky women. So happy for you both - two beautiful healthy babies, not to mention you seem destined to help each other through your equally amazing lives.
CAN'T WAIT for part three!
45. Jeen-Marie said:
Okay, I cried at this.
What another wonderful post!
Heather, you convinced me I could be a parent.
Thank you as I nurse my 8 month old son.
46. Brooke said:
I'm anxiously awaiting part 3! My friend is due tomorrow. After reading this, I think I shall call her up and say, "Please change all of your plans. I would really like to witness a completely natural child birth. Can you accomodate that? Okay, thanks."
I really enjoyed this post, and Lily is beautiful.
47. Tiffany said:
HOORAY! Im dying to know what one of my sister doulas was in the room for her delivery and yours Heather... so you should likely spill the beans since she can't due to privacy blah blah blah... Im proud of the both of you!! Strong women unite! (hopefully you feel your doulas rocked) Awesome story can't wait for round 3. Loving that I have been a reader for 3 years now and enjoy reading your blog aloud to my hubby who laughs and rolls his eyes at me. Keep writin!!!
48. Mrs Chaos said:
WOW. And also lots of chills and wonder.
(Also...that baby is adorable in big ways.)
49. J. Bo said:
OH... MY... GOD.
I am in such abject awe, I can barely type.
50. mother earth aka karen hanrahan said:
when my second child was one I too took out an ad for a babysitter - 43 people responded, 18 interviewed and none of them were going to babysit my babies. Nope. I couldn't do it. One had no teeth, one smelled so much of rosewater I couldn't breath, one kept petting my son like he was a dog and one brought a huge album of all the kids she had babysat and would not leave.
one week later I got a call from a teenage girl who I knew even on the phone she was a fit for us
Fast forward 15 years later, she married and my kids were in her wedding - my daughter sang. It was the most amazing thing
She's now expecting her second child and I feel she's given me besides being an integral part of my family and a great friend, a wonderful glimpse at being a grandmother
Your version while more amusing really encapsulated my similar experience...who says family has to be related
51. SheyFey said:
Your writing is amazing. I can see and feel the experience through your words. Inspiring. Can't wait to hear how your story goes.
Congratulations Katey! What a beautiful daughter!
52. CC said:
Thankfully, I am DONE with childbirth. And a good thing, too, because I bet I could be talked into trying a natural birth. I thought I would the first time, but as you (much more eloquently) said, once that first labor pain hit, all bets were off. I wonder if I could/should have, but instead of regrets, I will await your next installment and revel in your success.
I can only imagine the number of Doulas who have linked to your site and now high-five each other over your glowing endorsement of what they've been trying to tell us for years.
Congrats to Katey. How wonderful for your 2 babes to have an instant best friend.
53. Cathy said:
I LOVE KATEY! what an awesome addition to your life--thanks for the story. Can't wait to read the rest of it!
54. Kristan said:
Gosh darn it, Heather, you're going to make me want a natural birth! And I don't even pretend to have a "threshold of pain." o_O
Beautiful photos, beautiful story. I look forward to part 3.
(Hopefully it involves my CAPTCHA words: "bobbing Michael")
55. mrs.notouching said:
Lily is absolutelly adorable. As always, love the post and really looking forward to the rest of it and maybe more stories about Katey in the future. She sounds really awesome.
56. Serial said:
OK, I was not prepared for this, and when you started with depression, and I scrolled down to see Katey's face, and then a baby I didn't know, I was terrified that you were giving us a "look at this tragic story of a mother whose depression went down the shoot," but it was just not that. And thank effing god for that, woman.
Although, I guess, you're not THAT much of an asshole. Despite what your inbox sometimes says (and your therapist, I guess).
57. Caiti said:
What a beautiful story. The more I hear about natural childbirth, the more I want to learn about it. Congratulations to Katey on beautiful Lily.
58. Ashly said:
Heather,
When I was pregnant with my first baby 13 years ago, I was talking with a woman at a party and mentioned my intention to go natural. She told me that I wouldn't make it, adding, "No one does! It's impossible." Luckily, I didn't believe her and after 26 hours and lots of growling of my own, I had a beautiful baby girl naturally and felt the overwhelming sense of power and accomplishment of that amazing experience.
Thanks so much for telling your story and Katey's! It is wonderful that the 26th most influential woman in media is advocating for unmedicated birth.
Cheers! Ashly
59. Tobamom said:
When I saw today's photo of you holding Marlo, I was blown away. You look gorgeous -- serene and truly happy. God bless you and your family.
60. Hokie Deb said:
-->What a great story and I think one of my favorite posts of yours to date. Her baby is beautiful too.
http://www.websavymom.com/
61. Liz said:
Is it wrong that I wanted an epidural just to read that?
62. Anonymous said:
Enough, already about natural childbirth. Having been through this three times, it is not "the greatest thing I could ever do". I had babies. That is the bottom line. How they arrived is of no real importance to their lives, nor has it affected them. I never even thought to mention it to them. Ye gods, this topic is totally worn out. Women squat in fields in other countries. They would read this stuff and laugh their asses off. What is the big frigging deal?
JJ
63. Yolanda said:
Dang ladies!! You rocked it!
64. Beth said:
Beautiful writing. It brought tears to my eyes and really did justice to the level of achievement you feel after giving birth naturally, and having done it with a support system there to encourage you.
Looking forward to part three!
65. Dou-la-la said:
Amazing! I'm on tenterhooks for part 3 . . .
66. Beverly said:
Your are so right, especially since you birthed her up. I did have natural childbirth 35 and 39 years ago when everyone I worked with (in a NICU) told me I was crazy. I was not going to be knocked out when MY baby arrived. It was the two best days of my life, and I loved your telling of Lily's Birth....it was so remarkable, I cannot wait for the rest of Marlo's Birth Story.
67. Beverly said:
Your are so right, especially since you birthed her up. I did have natural childbirth 35 and 39 years ago when everyone I worked with (in a NICU) told me I was crazy. I was not going to be knocked out when MY baby arrived. It was the two best days of my life, and I loved your telling of Lily's Birth....it was so remarkable, I cannot wait for the rest of Marlo's Birth Story.
68. darcie said:
i can only think these words, "Holy." and "Shit." The end. p.s. also, "Awesome!"
69. Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) said:
Hooray for Katey! Lily is gorgeous! :)
Can't wait to read the rest.
70. Jess said:
Katey is my HERO!
71. Deva said:
This was so beautifully written. I am waiting for part three with bated breath.
72. BohemianLamb said:
I love Katey. She seems awesome.
I know you're picky and overprotective of your kids and all, and I can understand why you passed over that woman with the pregnant kid and the son in jail, but I hope that you don't judge everyone based on the downfalls of their family. They are not their family. They don't have control over what their family does. At least she was honest with you about them. I'm hoping that maybe there were other things you passed her over for besides that.
I would hate to think that someone wouldn't hire me because of someone I am related to not meeting their standards. My husband hasn't ever been in jail, but we're separated, and he helps me out by giving me rides to places a lot, and I am constantly disrespected because of how HE looks. Back when I was healthy, I was turned down for a caregiver job I would have been perfect for because they saw him drop me off in his rocker skull t-shirt and septum piercing and long goatee and bald head. That wasn't fair and it really hurt. So you can see why I felt compelled to leave this comment.
73. Anonymous said:
Aww, WAY TO GO KATEY!!
what a great set of family/friends she seems to have, too. My family won't even be in the same county when I give birth (they live here, I'm just sending them away)
Lily is beautiful! :D
I do like to hear these stories of women who stick by their birth choices! Obviously sometimes things happen and i'm not saying anything against doing what you NEED to do.. but those are the stories I hear the most. It's nice to hear this side as well, thank you!
-scared pregnant lady who prefers natural, but will get back to you after peanut is born about that whole pain killer thing (:p)
74. Elizabeth_K said:
Oh what a wonderful, beautiful, perfect story. Go Katey, go, and congrats on your stunning little baby girl.
75. Carrie said:
My birthing experiences have been eerily similar to yours...
As much as I was blown away by the first child I gave birth to, the labor itself was so not what I expected.
After engrossing myself on the aspect of natural childbirth with number two, it was the most powerful experience ever. One that I like to tell to people just to give them the other side of childbirth that doesn't involve intervention. (thank god)
And the awake baby for hours after she was born was utterly precious.
76. Helen said:
Varied emotions here----tears, joy, empathy. Katey is stunningly beautiful and Lily Blanche is adorable. I must say that I know that evil demon, Pitocin, too well, as it was given to me during 2 births out of my 4. Never would I wish that on anyone. If I could go back I would attempt natural childbirth with all 4 of mine. Made it with one and it was the best birth of all. Congrats to Katey for birthing Lily and sharing that sacred experience with her loved ones. You yourself know, Heather, that none of them will ever be the same again. And Marlo gets cuter everyday. Wow, do I see your Dad in her? Love your new haircut and love you too, Dooce!
77. Denise said:
Fortunately, it's 23 years behind me, but I gave birth to my first son in 1986, after 60 (count 'em) hours of labor with no drugs. Oh- and he was a posterior presentation, so I had back labor. I'm thankful that it was the 80s, the heyday of natural childbirth, because he had the cord wrapped tightly around his neck and probably wouldn't have made it if I had been drugged.
The only bottom line is that you did the very best for your baby. In the end, that's all that matters. The birth story fades (well, ok, there is a need to trot it out now and then for the next 23 years). But again: healthy baby.
78. sparkyd said:
Loving the story and totally love the "daily photo" of you and Marlo. Beautiful.
79. Lissa Lander said:
That's quite a leap to go from never mentioning katey, to sharing her birthing story with all the moaning and the visual writing.
But still it was a beautiful story! On your suggestion I watched The Business of Being Born. It was amazing, and now my 2 year old daughter constantly asks to watch the baby movie again. I'm inspired to try a natural child birth, and I feel a little sad that I missed out the first time around.
80. Tanzie said:
Chills.
81. The Dalai Mama said:
Great story--moving and funny. As an adoptive parent and an infertile...I have never experienced child birth. Reading your story has made me feel as though I have and it makes me a little happy that I haven't :)
Can't wait for part III.
82. Little Ninja Monkey said:
You've convinced me to try for a natural childbirth after I picked up Your Best Birth from the library on your recommendation. And then I got the documentary. And then I called a doula... and now I've told everyone who will listen how awesome natural childbirth is, and I'm gonna feel like a dang fool in 5 weeks if I can't cut it! I can't wait to hear the end of your story. Thank you so much, again, for sharing.
83. Alisa said:
Is Chimmy the Peruvian the dad?
84. Kristi Flower said:
Thank you Heather....Katey you're amazing.
85. Eden said:
I've been waiting for this second part. Now, I'm excited for part three. Love, love, love hearing about how your perception of natural childbirth changed. Thanks for sharing.
86. Danielle said:
Dooce - I don't know if I have ever in my 7 years of reading have posted a comment but I just loved this post so much. I am at work, I'm only 24, I have no children, only dogs, and I am bawling. Wonderfully written. And Katey and baby Lily are just beautiful!
87. mloeks said:
The same thing happened to me with my daughter. They gave me pitocin and I was in labor for hours. They finally broke my water 9 or so hours laster and i had my daughter within probably an hour and a half. Thank god they broke my water!
And, I did a natural childbirth. Pain meds weren't an option for me, for some reason, they told me right as i arrive at the hospital because of my epilepsy. No one ever told me that before - I think because they thought I'd say, "no way, I'm not doing this now." but it was all good, I'm glad I had natural childbirth. They say women have children when they forget the pain so we are probably about ready. :)
88. Chriss said:
Whoa- exactly how many days was Katey in labor now? And no pain meds at all? Badass for sure.
89. Rachel said:
My god, woman! The suspense! You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?! HOLY MOLY, YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL A STORY!!!
Katey sounds abso-friggin-lutely FABULOUS beyond FABULOUS. She trucked through like a champ, thank you SO MUCH for sharing her story! She's gorgeous, and her little Lily Blanche is positively DARLING!
But, You're keeping me ON. The. Edge. Of. MY SEAT FOR PART III, WOMAN! YOUR AUDIENCE NEEDS IT, NOW! ENCORE!!! :-)
Much love to you, precious little Marlo, adorable little Leta Elise, stunning Lily Blanch, Jon, and everything that you do. :-)
<3
90. Braidwood said:
"The cheering and pushing and growling continue for what seems like a couple of minutes, what must have seemed like eternity for Katey, and when it's apparent that the contraction has ended, the room immediately sinks right back into silence. No one talks. Every single person is focused on Katey's next move."
And that is when I got completely choked up. I can't believe that everyone was so respectful of what she was experiencing. Can you imagine if through all of our hard times we had people around us who were silent in honor of our struggle and then jumped into action to help when they could?
It reminds me of a true story I read about a Native American Vietnam Vet who came back from the war totally traumatized. When the people in his home town, on the reservation, saw how he was they called their medicine man. He have everyone rattles and drums and they danced and sang and rattled around him for days until he was better. The whole village.
91. Helen Tarnation said:
I laughed...I cried....VERY well written! And a beautiful mother and daughter to boot!
92. Mimi said:
Oh my GAWD, I can't believe I now must wait for part 3! After jonesin' for #2 for days! But yay Katey -- congrats to her!
Also, my "captcha" words are "birth lawanda", which sound like an appropriate cheer.
BIRTH LAWANDA!!!!
93. Mary Jane said:
Wow, thanks for sharing that experience. I can't have babies...always wondered what it was like to give birth (can't say that I REALLY missed out), but I liked the way you described it....the church thing...that was nice.
94. Janet said:
Her birth story made me cry, it was just so beautiful. I have 2 children and had 2 unmedicated child births and they are the the proudest, strongest most amazing moments of my entire life. I wish every woman could if only for once in her life have an experience as spiritual and beautiful as an unmedicated birth. It almost makes me want to get pregnant again. Almost.
95. Candice said:
Totally hilarious and touching AND informative. How do you do it?
Can't wait for Part 3!!!
96. cristal said:
LOVE this! thanks for sharing yours & katey's stories with us!
i think my biological clock has found a loudspeaker.
97. Halala Mama said:
Thank you so much for the much needed laugh. I've spent the day alternating between reading another mom's blog as she may or may not be losing her son and holding my son tight while he practices climbing on me like I'm a jungle gym, except he has no balance, rhythm, or anything helpful other than desire and thigh muscles. I needed the break and the laugh. I look forward to part 3.
98. Janice said:
I love it...your writing, the birth story, all so wonderful!
99. Ron said:
Well, ya see....
...this is why I love reading you.
100. Lara said:
Tears. Full on, bawling tears. Big ol' ugly ones, too.
Four children in my own personal repertoire and that was probably the single most beautiful remembrance of a birth I've ever seen.
Kudos, Heather. And yay, Katie! It's good to know you've had help all this time. She looks like a rockstar, which of course means she must fit right into the family.
Can't wait to read part three. Don't make us wait long.
101. Cindy said:
This is beautiful. My yoga teacher from teacher training is also a doula and studying to be a mid-wife. She talked about how babies secret a chemical that makes people love him/her when they are born. This chemical affects everyone in the room, not just the parents. It seems a little lu-lu to hear or think about, but this story proves there's something to it.
102. Sadie said:
What a fantastic story.
103. Brooke said:
Damn it, dooce. I don't give a crap what the haters say, THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE is what it is all about. I friggin love ya.
104. Timmi said:
Sounds kind of like my birth experience, only funnier.
105. Jennifer :) said:
My husband and I thank God everyday for the Armstongs.
I must confess I want Katey's job. My resume is on file just in case Jon needs a personal assistant any time soon.
My father calls Heather an Angel, and you too Jon. It might be because he has actually seen Heather Fly :)
Katey would not be where she is today without all your love and support. Thank you, Thank you,Thank you.
Love,
Katey's Parents and Family
106. Janet! said:
Wow!
107. cindy in ct. said:
That was the best damn birth story I've ever heard.
108. Anonymous said:
I wish I could've done it. I wanted a natural birth so bad, and I didn't make it. Turns out the botched epidural I received put my daughter's life in danger, too. I wish I could go back and do things differently and have the strength. I think having more supportive people around me would've made a huge difference. My admiration to all women who do the natural childbirth thing!!
109. Bianca said:
First time caller here...
Great birthstory so far- part one *and* part 2.
I have attended many natural births as a midwife apprentice and/or doula and could never quite put them into words like you have so beautifully. It is indeed a gift to witness such a thing, and to experience.
My two homebirths were the hardest thing I have ever done, and the most satisfying.
I also love your description of first time moms saying "well, I'll see how it goes, and if I can't handle it, I'll get the epi!" That is indeed a one-way ticket to and epidural for 99% of us as labor fucking hurts, no two ways about it.
So happy for Katie and for you. I cannot wait to hear part three.
110. Trisha said:
"...and told Jon, 'I can't wait to give you what that birth just gave me.'"
...That is such a powerful statement. It could possibly be the secondary title to your birthing book. Or perhaps the movie you'll make with Ricki Lake. :)
I am eagerly awaiting Part 3. Thank you for being so open with your journey. You're creating a great gift for Marlo.
hugs!
111. Kristine said:
Katey IS a total fucking champ. For keeping y'all organized, as well as the birthing.
You, too.
112. Leigh Anne said:
Wonderful birth story! Katey is one amazing woman...she had her natural, drug free birth WITH PITOCIN...What a trooper!
113. Liz said:
Dude! I'm weeping and covered in goosebumps and I'm supposed to be looking for a job. Instead I'm going to go watch tv and read decorating magazines. Thanks a lot!
114. Lisa said:
Wow. Ohmygosh. Wow.
Pure reverance for Katey...especially coming from someone who studied and prepared for natural childbirth for months for my first, but ended up weeks early with an emergency C-section and a preemie, who thankfully, turned out to be very healthy little girl--Katie.
Katey rocks.
115. karishma said:
BEAUTIFUL story. and what an adorable child! katy sounds amazing, so glad she's around. you know what would be awesome? a guest post from her. it sounds like she's part of your family.
116. Laura Champe Mitchell said:
I love that the 26th most influential woman in media is championing unmedicated birth. (For the record, when it's needed (ho so very, very rarely) medicine is fine and all births are "natural.") But nothing beats the high you get from doing it without drugs. I truly hope you have an influence in this area Heather.
Great stories!!
117. Erin said:
You tell a great story, Heather. I'm pregnant with my first and due in November. Right now the birth plan is to hold off on the pain meds for as long as possible. I'm just terrified that if it hurts too badly for too long, this poor little boy won't ever get a sibling. :P
118. Erica spencer said:
I rarely comment on your blog, why do you want to read another comment from another reader...
Anyway, I just have to say, I cried when reading this beautiful post. Not just tears, but full on crying. Amazing birth story. Thank you for sharing this. Beautiful.
This is why I read your blog.
119. Leesavee said:
Katey, you ARE a champ!
120. Maggie May said:
I love how you let yourslef crack and have a different opinion, it's amazing to me how frackin stuck in my opinions I can get without realizing it...and I'm only 34, so I can't be like ' IN MY DAY ' because it kind of IS my day.
My son Dakota was a Potocin birth without pain meds, and I can tell you it's the way Satan punishes bad people in hell. But my story is similar to Katie's- the room was full of people, wonderful sweet people, and I was young-20- and I was brave ( I screamed like a pig, but I did it)
My daughter Lola was born au natural, in a tub, with candles and family and a midwife in San Diego's birthing center...and it was amaaaazing. I coslept and nursed forevah and am so glad I had the experiences I did.
Thanks for the great read, Heather
Maggie May
121. Melanie said:
Yet another post I read aloud to my husband. We laughed until we had tears in our eyes...remembering the birth of our now grown daughters.
As for the being in therapy part, I practiced psychotherapy in SLC for 12 years, now coaching and practicing psychotherapy in Tennessee. I LOVE hearing about such kick ass therapists!
122. Liesel said:
I don't even know what to say. Amazing. You may have just changed my mind about going natural. A feat to be revered.
123. Bibi said:
what a gorgeous story. I'm going for a vbac and have three weeks to my due date. Katey is quite an inspiration. I can't wait to have my own natural birth story!!!!
PS. Please write part three before my baby comes. I'm pregnant, I can be demanding right?
124. Anonymous said:
So, I've never commented on any of your posts (despite reading your blog since 2004). But something about this one has compelled me to do exactly that. And actually there have a been a few recent posts that have made me feel that way. This story is literally making me feel like I need to have a FOURTH child just so that I can have that experience of pure, raw childbirth! Every time the intention was there. It really was. But, I didn't ever go into it fully prepared. And it makes me kind of sad. Obviously I'm not going to go and make another baby for that experience. That would be stupid wouldn't it? But, I wanna. But, I won't. Can't wait to hear your story! I'm sure you will inspire so many people to take that route. You just have that ability!
125. Larkspur said:
Great post.
Anonymous #62, congratulations on birthing your babies. I don't happen to share your opinion that "Ye gods, this topic is totally worn out", but I do agree that however the babies get here is fantastic, whether it's with an epidural or a c-section or an unknown circumstance because you met your baby in China.
I don't even have children, and it's too late for me. But I still loved this story because it's a great story, and not for one moment do I think it detracts from the stories of how anyone else arrived into the world.
126. Leigh said:
I'm all crying and stuff. I have been waiting for part two, and I am not disappointed. I have two boys, one whom is turning two years on the first, and my baby who will be three months on the eighth. You are such a reminder to me that there are others out there doing what I am doing, and I cant thank you enough for that. Second baby has taken some adjusting, and I have some dark days. Thanks so much for your writing, since I just found you(thanks to reruns of oprah in the summer) I often read the archives at night between feedings. again, thank.you.
127. Abby said:
What a beautifully written story of Lily's birth! I am in tears, in the best way possible. Thank you for sharing that, and congrats to Katey and her family!
128. K*OS! said:
What a wonderful recollection of a beautiful moment.
Looking forward to part three!
129. Kara said:
Wow! What an experience! And Katy was so nice to bare her lady parts to be able to share it with you all!
130. ThatBeeGirl said:
That photo of Lily just made me want to have, like, 100 children. Adorable! And after reading Katey's labor story, it almost makes me want to deliver naturally someday.
Almost.
131. Renee said:
Katey is a rock star!!!! Nothing but total respect for the girl!!!!!!
I hope I have the balls to stick it out in round two! I allowed the doctors to have control last time, and I'm still pissed! Just wait until next time, I hope they pee their pants!
132. murphy said:
Heather, you're such an AMAZING writer! That was un-put-down-able, ie, if it were on a piece of paper, I would not be able to put it down. Or, no one could put it down (criticize it) because it's perfect.
Brilliant writing, girl! Thanks for *that* experience!
133. thedoggymommy said:
Thanks so much! You always make my day! Do you have to have some kind of a consent form to put people on your site?
Diana
134. Sarah said:
Please give Part 3 in a jiffy! I've been patiently waiting for your Part 2. I was shocked when you told us all you went natural. I can't wait to hear it all. How many parts are there? Hooray for Katie and Lily!
135. Joyce said:
Thank you. This is why I have followed you for so many years. Congrats to Katey!
136. Melissa Mattson said:
How fantastic! I hope that one day I can witness someone else give birth. Maybe it will be my own daughter give birth to my grandchild...and maybe if I had seen someone give birth naturally I would have had the confidence that I could do it as well.
137. Lauren said:
That child has beautiful eyes.
138. Sarah Aubrey said:
I know we're talking about birth and birthing and labour and stuff, but I would just like to put it out there that Katey. Is. Stunning.
S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G.
In a way that is unassuming and confident and spry and marvelous. And that's all from the photo. I continued reading your (her) story and pausing to scroll up to the picture again and again. She makes this post come alive. With her eyes, somehow.
139. Lynn Soon said:
Wow, seriously, wow. Can't wait for part III.
140. Elana E said:
Women are amazing! We make people! Men may make more money, but we make PEOPLE! Katey is a beautiful girl. Piercing eyes. She did something amazing. I hope she knows that. Her daughter is beautiful and she got a good beginning. She is an inspiration. A goddess!
141. Julie said:
Amazing beauty. Every bit of it. Thank you so much for sharing :)
142. Liz said:
That baby is so beautiful. Having just gone through child birth a few months ago, I'm both amazed and appalled by the idea of natural childbirth. Amazed because it seems like such a brave thing to do, and appalled because I was begging for my epidural like three weeks before going into labor.
143. Tonya said:
Katey is a total rock star and for the love of all that is holy, woman, get part 3 written up stat.
144. Rebecca said:
What a great service you are doing, letting people know that birth can be hard and painful and amazing and transformative - a true gift. There is no euphoria like it. I love that you are helping bring natural childbirth into the mainstream. Its not just for pain-loving hippies anymore!
145. Craig said:
Damn, Heather, I'm crying at work again.
146. Anonymous said:
Katey is a rockstar!
I was not very loud during my labor, despite the lack of drugs. But instead of waiting patiently and silently, my audience (doula, husband, doctor) discussed the weather. Not kidding, the weather! I was thinking to myself "dude! having a baby over here! what's a gal gotta do to get some attention!" But all my energy was going into labor and I could not get any words to come out of my mouth. Still, it was a beautiful experience.
Thanks for sharing all this. And thanks to Katey for allowing you to share her story as well.
147. Belly Girl said:
Oh man, Heather, you are such a freakin TEASE! An important part of the story though, and at nearly 7 months pregnant, you've definitely got me thinking about my birth plan. You gotta finish this story before I go into labor though!
148. Rachel said:
Now that I've read and re-read your post, I've got to ignore the chorus of drumbeats from my biological clock. My uterus and ovaries are reaching out to strangle me in my sleep.
I'm posting again because I've made my mind up: I'm going natural. It makes no sense to "medicalize" the process... Except to make sure that mother and baby are safe.
149. Larkspur said:
Umm, does Katey have a blog? Don't worry: it's like having a second child - you don't love one more than the other, there's just a never-ending abundance of love, kinda self-generating.
150. missy said:
Katey is a rockstar. That is incredible. Pitocin, 12 hour labor AND drug free. Unbelievable. She and that little Lily are beautiful!
I love that her birth story is a part of yours. Exactly how womanhood should be.
And lastly, I still feel a slight adrenaline rush after giving birth drug-free...and that was 10 months ago.
151. Rachel said:
I got to the end of this post and realized I had been holding my breath. I know exactly what you mean about the reverence and the experience--I was lucky enough to be with my sister through the labor of both of her daughters, and it was an amazing experience, both times.
Your words take me right back there.
152. Helen said:
I had the privilege of being present (and useful) at two home births. Miracles, really. It's hard to describe to those who haven't taken part, but those of us who've been there share a secret code.
153. Hagerdash said:
Dear #72 Bohemian Lamb ~
You are special and deserving, and I am so sorry that those people overlooked a wonderful employee because of their judgment. I judge too and may have felt tempted to do the same thing, but I will be very careful about this and take great care to ensure that I really evaluate my judgment and give people a chance because of what you shared. You are awesome.
Cheers.
154. Michele Renee said:
First time commentor here. Thank you for sharing Katey's story. I am so in awe of her pushing out her baby with Pitocin and all. I have had 3 babies with no drugs. The first two were in the hospital. I understand now, years later, why my midwife--who has witnessed thousands of births--thanked me afterwards for what I gave her. I remember a nurse crying tears of joy because she had never seen a natural birth.
155. Jenn said:
By soon I hope you mean soon. Because I am 8 weeks from my due date, and you may be changing my mind about the epidural. And I am getting impatient in the way only an irritable pregnant woman can be.
156. Kristen Iness said:
Loved this story, and my god that baby is beautiful.
157. Brian said:
I love reading this blog because of posts like this, where you give it to us straight up. I don't think I encountered one pregnancy/childbirth book that really addressed all the crazy shit that can happen in labor.
My wife's labor didn't go smoothly at all. You really never know with your first how things are going to progress. She labored for 23 hours, the last four spent in pushing. Though she never asked for medication, she finally needed an episiotimy and vacuum assist to help get our little boy out. It was a nightmare, and we're still not totally over the trauma. You can read about it at http://daddytobe.wordpress.com/2009/06/07/labor-part-1/
158. hotpants said:
I quoted you on my blog because I don't think anyone's ever said it better.
"There is nothing in life that you can really compare to the pain of labor, NOTHING, so the "idea" of your threshold for pain is as useless as a piece of shit."
159. Lily said:
your sharing never disappoints. Young women like you & Katey give me hope for this worlds future.
& I love the name Lily Blanche too.
160. Livia said:
First I laughed, then I cried. Beautiful.
161. Kate said:
Wow,
Katey and Lily are beautiful.
I laughed and I cried.
162. genevieve said:
this may be one of your best posts EVER.
can't wait to hear part 3.
163. Katie said:
That is absolutely one of the most amazing stories I've heard. Thank you to Katey for letting you share it. And thank you for writing it so beautifully.
I have probably been scared of childbirth since I was old enough to know about it. And as scary as that story is, I think I can do it now.
Thank you.
164. Amy J said:
This is an amazing post. Thank you for sharing!
Congratulations Katey, Lily is absolutely beautiful!
165. Kiran said:
Amazing post Heather!
Congrats Katey.. Lily is my favorite name :) and she is absolutely gorgeous :)
166. bklyn76 said:
ah, your writing makes me feel like i'm in your head experiencing everything you wrote. [hope i'm not too much of a bother while i'm there.]
what a fantastic story about katey. welcome, lily blanche. you're beautiful like your mama.
167. kristi said:
I bought the book. I read the book. I'm scared as hell, but also optimistic and excited. This is my 4th kid. Two of the three were... shall we say... nightmares. And now - I want to have/give that experience. Thanks for sharing.
168. Corinne Bowen said:
At first I was a little disappointed that this wasn't YOUR story, then I started tearing up and thought, damn she's done it again! Thank you for sharing this experience and inspiring me to chose natural childbirth when the time comes!
169. Jenny said:
Absolutely amazing! Never let that girl go. :)
170. Bethany said:
I am so glad you were able to share this story. You told it beautifully... very inspiring, humbling, riveting....perfect.
The baby is too cute. TOO CUTE. Hear me? You people are leaving burn out marks on the street with your cute babies.
Nice work.
171. Jillian said:
It's always been my dream to have a baby naturally. Now I'm even more fired up. I'm sad to say that it will never happen, though. I was recently diagnosed with carcinoid cancer and while I can still have a baby, they have deemed me high risk and I will have to have a c-section when the time comes. Bummer in more ways than one.
Thank you for this story!
172. Sarah said:
I've been reading for a while now, since you got pregnant with Leta, but I HAD to comment finally. This January my best friend allowed me to witness the birth of her second son- her first she had an epidural, and with this birth she wouldn't even let them break her water. And oh my gosh, you are not kidding- the awe you feel, watching someone experience unmedicated labor, transition, and pushing, is just mind blowing.
I had two kids naturally myself, and after awhile I'd forget the magic slightly and think to myself, "Maybe next time I'll sign up for that epidural after all." After I watched my friend, though, I knew I had to feel that miracle again, pain and all. Thank you for sharing. And thanks to Katey for letting all, what was it, four hundred and seventy, of you share her experience!
173. Shannon said:
In response to
"Ye gods, this topic is totally worn out. Women squat in fields in other countries. They would read this stuff and laugh their asses off. What is the big frigging deal?
JJ"
I think it's because all you ever seem to hear about giving birth is along the lines of, "You are split in two and want to die. The end". Everyone is so intent on getting that magical epidural they don't even begin to think they might not need it ! Does it hurt, yes... but it's PAIN with A PURPOSE and that makes such a difference. I was 26 when I had my son. I read "What to expect when your expecting" and that was about the extent of my preparedness for childbirth. I had horrible toxemia so I could not even attend Lamaze classes. I had a 24 hour labor that started at 6 am, went to the hospital, was only at 2 cm so I went back home and breathed through my contractions, had an extra hard contraction at 7 pm I couldn't breath through, back to hospital to find I was at 7 cm, pitocin & natural delivery. I hard pushed for 3 hours. I was in a time tunnel... I thought it was about 45 minutes. My eyes were closed and everything was shut out. Breathing & pushing were all I could manage. The doctor on call (my OBGYN was on vaca) said I did fantastic and couldn't believe it was my first baby. The nurses jaws dropped. After he left they said that was the only time they had ever heard that hard ass say anything like that LOL ! I still feel, even after beating cancer, that giving birth naturaly was the most rewarding experience of my life. I had a job to do and I kicked butt ! Regret ? Wish I had a video for my own personal viewing because I missed the whole thing.
HEATHER-Thank you for sharing your stories, your posts touch SO MANY and it's great to get alternate views. I don't always agree but I look forward to seing your point of view. I like to think I am open minded :O)
174. stacy said:
You tell these stories very well, and I enjoy reading them, and I hope they help women make informed birth choices.
But just a word. There was nothing magical or spiritual or magical about my second child's 100% natural birth. Even compared to the awful c-section I had for Baby #1. There is no such thing as a universal experience. I attached all this MEANING to a natural birth with the second baby...but it was totally irrelevant when it was over. It wasn't a tearfully inspiring experience. It was just something I got through, you know?
I don't know. Doing it without meds (or in my case, at home without meds) isn't always a guaranteed amazing emotional experience. I think it's important that new moms know that.
175. nicole antoinette said:
This post, you, your writing, your energy- SO FANTASTIC.
176. Svaha said:
10 isn't always the magic number. Below is a link to a blog about my youngest daughter and the labor my ex went through.
*insert disclaimer about my prose not being anywhere as flowing and captivating as yours*
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=7221...
Congrats and best wishes to Katey & Lily! (you must have a strict photogenic clause in your hiring contract for employees and the future progeny, they are both beautiful :)
177. Amy J. said:
Heather...I've read you for years. But I must say that you seem to have transformed yourself after having Marlo. There is something different about you...lighter, happier, more expressive. It's such a joy to read your posts these past few weeks. Congrats to Katey and Lily (lovely blue eyes). I can't say I'd do natural ever, but I'm all for women doing whatever is best for them. Can't wait to read your birth story!
178. kim at allconsuming said:
This is why we keep going back time and time again.
Well, that and being ridiculously fertile and equally careless.
And Lily Blanche? Looks just like her gorgeous Mumma.
179. Kelly said:
Wow, that was really beautiful. Brought me back to my own firstborn's labor, although her delivery ended in emergency c-section.
The only part that made me cringe was when you mentioned all the sister's pushing on different parts of her body-I remember so vividly how much I did NOT want to be touched and how 'sweetly' I told my hubby just that!Cant wait to hear the rest!
Just saw the pic of the day, and you both look great!take care!
180. Nat W. said:
That's one beautiful baby.
181. Kathleen @ ForgingAhead said:
Wow lady, you can write! Love this post. And Katey rocks. I've done some physical stuff in my day (triathlon) but nothing comes close to that.
182. khajha said:
awww! lily blanche - that was my great grandmother's name. love love love it.
183. Kathy said:
Doulas = All the Difference
184. Erin said:
Oh, how I related to Katey's experience. I had a pain med-free birth, too, but at around hour 18 of labor, my doctor ordered pitocin, because my contractions had stalled too many times. Plus, I'm a beta strep carrier, so there was the risk of infection to contend with. To be honest, the previous 18 hours of labor had been pretty manageable, but when the pitocin kicked in--hoo boy. I made it through, thanks to breathing right, the hot tub and sheer determination. Then, it was another six hours--no, I'm not kidding, SIX HOURS of pushing in every conceivable position--before our beautiful baby girl was born. She had a mild case of pneumonia from the beta strep, but fortunately it cleared up right away.
So, yeah, I feel like I can do pretty much anything now.
185. amy said:
KATEY ROCKS!!! And such a gorgeous little baby Lily :)
Seriously, Katey should be sainted or something. I had pitocin, and when they broke my waters they might as well have stabbed me repeatedly with a blunt fork. EVERYWHERE. Epidural please!
When I had my twin girls it was awesome. Totally bearable labor in the shower at the hospital. Two and a half hours later they had both arrived. (Only miserable part was the nine minutes the doc had his hand in my womb turning the breech twin b.)
Looking forward to hearing about YOUR birth story! Margo is seriously delicious.
186. jen said:
i think i love that the second part of your birth story ... was kinda all about someone else's. and a beautiful birth story at that.
187. Vander Kitten said:
I love that you have Katey. She seems to round out the whole crazy Armstrong thing, and I just love it. I want to come by and have coffee and watch the whole Armstrong world unfold.
188. Victoria said:
Thank you so much for sharing that.
Makes me wish *I* knew you so you could write about my labour. Whenever it is that happens.
Thanks.
189. Scott Johnson said:
Great story. I can't wait for part 3!
190. Stories Aside said:
Katey, welcome to OUR world. I feel slightly...I dunno...sad that we are just now hearing of you, but it's awesome to have another "character" to hear about, relate to, etc..You are awesome.
And Heather, thanks for this story. It got my attention...if you know what I mean. Food for thought...
191. Sage said:
Hello. I'm Lily and I can blow a spit bubble. What can you do?
192. Anonymous said:
I enjoy your writing and say 'amen' to that experience. I think an unmedicated birth helped me prove to myself that 'I can do hard things' and then of coarse surviving newborn baby stage is another testament even if I have now officially aged 20 years from it
193. Cassy said:
I LOVE hearing people's labor stories! They are all so different and none less amazing than any other. I gave birth a month ago and I couldn't get enough stories before having my son, and now that I've had him, I still love to read other people's stories. I am in awe that we bring forth life in this crazy, messy way. Thanks for sharing!
I've posted my story (also in three parts - it's tough to get anything done in one sitting with a newborn!) at http://www.cassylee.wordpress.com.
194. HMFT said:
Oh my GOD. I love this site. I love what you write. And I in no way want you to take this wrong.
I wanted, more than anything, to have this kind of birth experience with Joe, my second husband and the man I am absolutely, 110% meant to spend the rest of my life with. I wanted this kind of birth. I KNEW HE WOULD BE the best coach. KNEW THIS.
I had an emergency c-section. It shocked and terrified the everloving shit out of me. I am talking about a terror so deep that it paralyzed me. Tears...blood-drained face...eyes like a trapped animal...
BUT! My son is alive and well. And Joe was wonderful, and amazing, and strong, and OMIHELL he looked good in scrubs.
And when I read what you just wrote, it tears my heart to pieces. You are so very, very fortunate to have been a part of another woman's birth experience, one so powerful. And I eagerly await part three of your story. Never forget how fortunate you and Jon are : )
195. Lauren said:
Aww she is gorgeous (both baby and mother)! Thank you so much for sharing that story! I seriously admire Katey...I don't know that I could ever have that kind of strength and courage, should my day ever come.
196. Starr said:
Sometimes, I can be batshit crazy and long to be pregnant again. Especially after stories like this. Thank goodness we are 99.9% sure I will never get pregnant again. At least, not by my husband. :P
Thanks, babe. My second was born all natural too. What a ride, huh?
197. Sobrina said:
Wow that was some story! I wonder if it was one of those moments where you had to be there because as someone who was not there, it sounds very painful and a bit gruesome and I don't think I would have come home all pumped up on a natural birth at all after that...I can't wait to read part three, maybe I will understand more after that.
198. Eternally Distracted said:
I don't know what it is about your writing that makes me:
a) See you have a new post and get excited
b) Put the kettle on
c) Make sure I'm comfy, cosy and ready for what you might say
d) Groan when it's finished because I know I have to wait for the next episode
It's like my favourite TV show but cruel as it's shorter ...
Congrats to Katey, she has a beautiful baby ... First you tip-toe around introducing her on your blog and then you describe her labour in great detail ... ;0)
199. Kate said:
Reading about your birth experience is making me seriously consider going natural for my next baby. Which is quite the feat since I scoff at my friends who don't get drugs and I proudly had a shot of some mystery drugs as well as two epidurals when I had my son. Your power is great. And a little scary.
200. Laura Lee said:
Glorious.
Thank you for taking us along at that journey and for introducing us to Katey. What an introduction!!
She and Lily are gorgeous babes.
I can see how you would be totally inspired, uplifted, and girded by Katey's strength and lioness growling.
I had a similar experience watching my baby sister give birth to my niece.
It changed my life forever.
Thank you, Heather!
201. Andrea said:
Brought me to tears...just had my second natural birth 4 weeks ago. These stories will never get old, I love it. Such an amazing feeling! YAY Katey!
202. thatgirlblogs said:
dear god that is the MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY IN THE WORLD!
203. Ashley said:
I am weeping from that story. It took me right back to my L&D that ironically happened just around the same time as Katey's... my first, au naturale, to a beautiful little girl. It was 36 hours of back labor. The most intense, awe-inspiring experience of my life. My husband, doula and sister are the reason I survived without breaking down for an epidural. It sounds like Katey had an equal level of support and love. I was fortunate enough to have a birth photographer (all thanks to my doula) document the experience in gorgeous black and white photographs and I cry every time I see the slideshow of images, looking at that room filled with love and support. www.shootsandgiggles.com/Addison.mov
It takes that kind of love to get through a natural childbirth. I can't wait to read your story.
204. Emily said:
I don't know how you managed to make this story hilarious and achingly beautiful at the same time, but you did. Good for Katey!!! I can't wait for part three.
205. Brat said:
I had a baby I gave up for adoption at age 17. I was in labor for over 36 hrs, 12 of it hard.
I did it all natural. I did Lamaze classes.
With my 2nd one, no way. I took the epidural.
Thank God for drugs.
But I'm anxious to hear your story, because it was the right choice for you this time, apparently.
AND OMG! KATEY'S BABY! WHAT A CUTIE PIE!
206. Rachel said:
I loved your sense of reverence and awe. As a L&D nurse sometimes we forget that birth is a miracle. I see births all the time. It is the people that bring that sense of the divine with them, though, that are the neatest births.
I did natural births myself, but I have to say, I wish all moms could understand how awesome they truly are. No matter how they give birth, that sense of reverence can be there. We are after all bringing a new life into this world. What could be more awe inspiring than that. Many of the c-sections I've attended hold that same sense. I think many times it is a matter of perspective.
I think those that are truly prepared to go natural bring that sense with them, because they have mentally prepared themselves to experience birth and to find meaning in that. Beautiful story!
207. Anonymous said:
Wow - one of your best posts ever. Can't wait for part 3!
208. The Rambler said:
Great story.
I just witnessed a birth last week for the first time and you put how I felt perfectly :)
Except with my nervousness I said...
"So, does it really smell like Wet Va-jay-jay when it's near?"
Yup. Yup, I did. :)
209. Christine said:
Holy fucking shit.
Thank you for this post. My face is a mess.
It is as if "The labor story, part two" was medicine to help me through my traumatic birthing experience one year ago.
xoxo
210. Mack said:
So, do you and John live with two babies now? Can Katey still assist w/ a newborn?
That is so weird that you go from hiding your "slave" to giving the world her last name and everything.
Great pic of you and Marlo, BTW!!
211. shriek house said:
Amazing story. I wish I had witnessed drug-free deliveries (besides the 70's-era slightly porny videos they show in birthing class where you're too busy laughing at the guy's pointy lapels to really process anything) before having my own hopped-up-on-an-epidural versions because I think I would have been inspired to do it myself. So cool you had that experience, that awe.
Also? That excommunicated Mormon lady? I think she was my airport shuttle driver from Park City last year. SAME EXACT STORY.
212. Jenn said:
Thanks Katey for allowing us to hear this story, and thanks Heather for telling it!
Rockin' Mama's!!
213. Coyote said:
Brava, Katy!
But I still don't understand why natural childbirth is seen as an uncommon alternative rather than the accepted norm. In the history of humans, far more babies have been born without medical intervention than with it.
214. Steph said:
FUCK. YES.
Thank you for writing this.
And tell Katey she kicks ass.
215. pram reviews said:
This is an amazing story. I am simply gosmacked at your wonderful ability to convey the emotions of the day. Thank you Heather.
216. Megan said:
A great story, well told. Very cute baby (and I don't say that lightly). If I am ever there, I am still totally locking everyone out and scheduling a c-section to boot.
:-) But it is nice to know how the other half lives....
217. Anonymous said:
Dude the Guyana references are tripping me out. My girlfriend is Guyanese and so few people have even heard of Guyana.
218. Sarah said:
@ 62. Anonymous
I'd rather be one of the people in celebratory awe, personally, than to have that sort of attitude.
Katey is SO beautiful, as is her tiny bubble-blower.
Thank you for the story, Heather- it was a great surprise.
219. jodie H said:
Nicely done, Katie! As a retired (couldn't handle the crazy hours) Doula, I can bear witness to the incredible power of support in the delivery room! You rock, Katie! And, you too, Heather. Nicely written, once again.
220. Anonymous said:
stories like these make me so glad to be British! We have a fantastic health service that champions non-medicalised birthing, but we get on with it quietly. none of this ridiculous "you go girl" and "awesome". Twats
221. Amanda from California said:
How is it that you are surrounded by all these beautiful little girls with beautiful eyes? So not fair.
222. Claire0917 said:
Lol. love your story. And that baby is sooo cute! =)
223. Baby Travel Strollers said:
Great story so far.. Thanks for finally sharing the second half of the saga :)
224. Anonymous said:
Seeing I have no other place to put this I would like to publicly blame you for my etsy addiction. I had no idea till I read your website. Damn you woman!
225. Shauna said:
Holy crap Heather... between this amazingly beautifully vivid post and that blissful pic of you and Marlo yesterday, the broodiness has finally kicked in :)
Cannae wait for part 3!
226. Alex said:
Tease! I am about to give birth to my 4th baby and I need to hear the final instalment! Come on! Soon I'm not going to have to waste on the internet.
By the way, the first time I saw you was on Oprah a few weeks back here in Australia. I never twigged until I was randomly googling mom blogs. You've made my last few weeks bearable and inspired me to start writing again (if only to shut up the damn voices in my head...ha ha ha). You and Marlo look gorgeous.
227. NoL said:
Congrats to Katey!!!!
(and an awestruck -wow- to Jon for hanging out with two pg women at once, I could barely hang out with myself!)
Can't wait for part three!
228. Nurse work junky said:
Wow that really is quite a touching story, I am an OB nurse so I see quite a few births in the field. Most take the meds in a second haha, bravo to this woman.
229. eileen said:
Congrats to Katey and her beautiful new baby Lily!
230. JA said:
Is a birth still considered natural and drug-free when it is assisted by pitocin? Free from pain relief: yes. Drug free: no.
231. Laura L Trevey said:
Don't miss the beautiful smiles :)
232. Cookie said:
Feel cheated by not getting Marlo's story, but enjoyed reading Lily's. Women who do it natural are amazing. I was all about medication myself, both times. Look forward to reading the rest.
233. Emily said:
I have never been moved to tears by a birthing story. Until today. Katey is an amazing woman and her daughter has some awesome women in her life. :)
234. Cris said:
Women are the bravest, and communities are the best. If I weren't barren, I'd want a birth story like that. Thank you for sharing.
235. Bush Babe of Granite Glen said:
What a gorgeous Mum and baby... and how amazing for her to know she so inspired you... who are so inspiring others.
I was not able to have a natural birth, but was witness to my sister giving birth to my beautiful neice... still one of the all time great moments of my life!!!
Looking forward to part three...
:-)
BB
236. Elaine said:
Now this is the kind of honest story that makes me go from, "Well they don't give out medals for doing it without drugs" to "ohmygoshiwanttohaveanaturalbirth". Congrats to Katey and thanks to you for telling the story so well!
237. Michele said:
I'm crying (and I don't even know why??). But the other thing coming to me is that you are changing Heather right before our eyes and it is awesome.
238. Liz said:
Wow, this was beautiful and, while I'm not totally convinced I want a natural childbirth, the was breathtaking and captivating and has me thinking "...well...."
But more importantly, I totally want this quote on a t-shirt:
"Polygamists not only do it willingly, THEY DO IT SOBER."
239. Becky said:
Wow, Heather, I love how you write about the obviously powerful experience it was to be there for Katey during her delivery. I am 99% certain that it would not have changed my need for the epidural, but, seriously, God bless Jon for loving you so much!
240. Natalie said:
Thanks so much! I am teary!
I saw comment #226 and was reminded about your Oprah visit- I missed it on TV, but read about it when I looked you up on Oprah's website. Glad to see you've already been on, b/c I'd love to see you back on to discuss your birth with Marlo! Can you call up "Regis and Kelly" and "The View" while you're at it?
Child-bearing women need a strong voice to stand up for the birth choices they may or may not know are being taken away from them.
241. Krysta said:
This story brought me to tears. And that baby? Holy shit is she cute!
242. the niffer said:
And yet again, you take the words right out of my head. I can't wait to do it again with number two in November.
243. Jamie said:
Alright jerk, you finally brought tears to the ice queen. Hopefully in a few weeks I will have one of these badass stories to share- this was definetly inspiring to hear.
244. Jonn Wood said:
What #138, Sara Aubrey said. If that kid is half as pretty as her mama, she's gonna be a heartbreaker, I can tell.
245. Agnes said:
This post made me cry and almost want to have number 3.
246. maggie said:
bit melllooo dramatic dontch think????
247. Lark said:
I was due on Sunday and I am (not so) patiently waiting to try and have my own natural childbirth. Thanks for the last minute added boost of motivation. :)
248. flakeyblakee said:
For the record... Boise has a higher population then Salt Lake City does!
249. chiquita said:
Wow, a beautiful story, and a beautiful girl. Thanks for sharing.
250. Lisa G. said:
Thank you, thank you, thank you for doing this for all of us! You are a joy to read.
251. Cat said:
Totally feeling like a puss for whining about my stomache ache last night. I must be one of the herd that they're trying to thin out. YAY KATEY!
252. Amanda said:
I'm not going to lie--I think you're both out of your minds! But, I'm listening, so that's something. :)
253. MissCaron said:
OH MY GOODNESS. What an amazing story ... how awesome. I certainly hope that I am able to experience that one day ...
254. Jenna Jean said:
She is beautiful and looks like a wonderful addition to your family (don't keep her hidden anymore!) as is her daughter. I love the name Lily too.
255. Lisa said:
awesome story.
256. Emily said:
Dear world (well, actually it's "dear heather and fellow blog comment readers" but dear world sounds way more emphatic),
At the risk of getting all hippy mother nature advocacy on your asses I'd like to take a brief moment to explain something. Digesting, understanding, coming to terms with, deconstructing let alone writing a fantastic award winning, "number 26, bitches" post about a natural birth experience takes TIME!
Heather, I've been following your raw and beautiful story now for only 6 months (shame on me for not finding out about you earlier but we all know Canada is a cold and foreign land where only igloos, winter snowstorms and sled dogs prevail) and want to tell you, world, that any respectable, well thought out birth story blog comes to those in 3 separate, well written posts and takes several weeks to take shape and be internet ready.
Take your time Heather and enjoy the process of reveling in and crafting for the world your story. You are wonderful and I just might want to be you.
257. jessa said:
I may have to block your website at work. A teary, snotty receptionist isn't always a good idea. Thank you, for real, for putting that experience to words. No one does it like you. That may be a life-altering little story for me. *thank you. can't wait for three!
258. Lara said:
Woah. Anyone else have a WTF moment at Comment #22?
Thanks for the story, Heather. I eagerly await Part 3. I had been thinking about a natural birth after watching "The business of Being Born" last month (my thoughts prior were much like yours originally were), but I think this part of your story has nearly solidified my decision to go for it. I'm still a few years off from trying to have a baby, but the decision, I think, has been made :)
259. Missives From Suburbia said:
Oh. I have tears running down my face. The image of all of those people standing behind that baby's birth and witnessing that mother's labor was overwhelming, and it kind of makes me wish I was having another baby so I could experience that. Although, where I'd find 480 people who'd want to watch me give birth, I have no idea. And given my two prior experiences, I'd probably STILL call in my epidural from the parking lot, because I'm a wuss that way. Not to mention, having three kids would definitely make me insane. But it sounds lovely, and I'm jealous in a very theoretical way.
Congratulations, Katey. What a beautiful birth story and an even more beautiful baby. (Those EYES! Stunning!)
260. kelly said:
After reading that i was speechless, it is unbelievable how you can write about an experience you have so vividly that I feel like i was right there with you. I am amazed and in awe of your talents on a routine basis, your willingness (and the willingness of those around you) to be so transparent with your lives. I for one have not experienced child birth in any way other than the Ricki Lake documentary and what i have read on various blogs and stories i have heard. But now i kinda me want to go up to the hospital and hang out in the L/D ward waiting for the next woman to come in and ask if she minds me auditing her labor.
Thanks for the wonderful post, and can't wait for part 3.
As a side note: Katey is HOT!
261. ma2one said:
OMG, I love you Heather!
Your gift for writing is unsurpassed.
I'm a doula for 19 years and you're the goddess of birth story writing. I'm sitting here reading and crying. I've read hundreds, many a thousand birth stories over 19 years and I've never cried before.
How do you do what you do with your words, it's like you twist them around my heart until I can't breath. You blow me away daily with your heartfelt words.
262. Candy said:
Hey, #62, maybe she's not writing to you. Maybe she's writing to someone else out there who needs to know this story. Take a step back and give the other readers some room to breathe.
Heather, that was beautiful. You and Katey are lucky to have found each other. Some relationships are just meant to be.
Katey, congratulations on a beautiful baby and prayers for a wonderful life for both of you.
263. Alicia said:
Thank you, Heather. The way you describe the beauty of childbirth is just awesome.
I gave birth nine days ago, my second homebirth, and it is every bit as magical as you have described it. Something that will define me for the rest of my life.
264. Sarie said:
Beautiful, poetic, brought me to tears. Birthing is life changing.
xoxo
265. Donna Boucher said:
I totally agree with ma2one.
You are a remarkable story teller, Heather.
And hilarious!
Yay for Katey and Lily!!
Can't wait for part three!
266. sarah said:
just wanted to thank you for these stories--too few people hear things like this! Your posts are beautifully written, but more importantly i think you are Doing Good in the World. As someone who is rather involved in the birth community, THANK YOU!!!
267. Cristen said:
Fabulous story! So surprisingly to learn of Katey here and now. I can't wait to read the rest about YOUR delivery. I hope more women will be inspired by you and Katey to take charge of their own deliveries and not defer to their OB on everything.
And having endured 6 hours of pitocin before giving in and having an epidural w/my first (my other two were all-natural and much easier), I can fully appreciate what Katey went through!
268. Jew Jenny said:
If I had a root canal without pain meds would it be some sort of spiritual experience? My guess is yes if I had all my favorite people in the room praying and crying and cheering me on. but then all i would have at the end is a good tooth instead of a good baby.
269. Megan said:
Posts like THIS are why we all love you so much...though I must admit I love you when you are talking about all of the inane details of daily life as well...and even when you talk about things we really don't need to know. But THIS, this is just beautiful. You are such a talented writer regardless of the subject matter, don't ever doubt it. Thank Katey for letting you share her birth story with us. You are both so lucky to have each other in your lives & I am sure Marlo and lily will have a great relationship as well. I can't WAIT to hear part 3!!!!!!!
270. Anonymous said:
regarding #22, the writer/viewer was 12; not the one giving birth
271. Anonymous said:
I don't get why Katie accepted the pitocin. Natural childbirth is one thing; but taking all the worst things in medicated childbirth (artificially painful, strong, and fast contractions) and all the worst things about natural childbirth (no help with pain) seems a bit inconsistent to me.
272. Stephanei said:
That is amazing! Katy is so lucky to work with you two. Any change you want to hire me as well? What a beautiful story - you made me cry! And Lily is adorable.
273. Marissa said:
I am 36 weeks pregnant and bawling my eyes out after reading that. I can only hope my birth experience is half as profound. Thank you Heather (and Katy) for sharing this. Amazing.
274. Alex said:
My Goodness woman...you sure know how to tell a story. Wow!Wow! Wow!
You should write a book or two! Oh wait, you already have..
Nevermind! Carry on!
And Katey..you're an inspiration to alot of women out there!
275. Michelle said:
Go Katey! They say pitocin contractions are a lot worse than natural contractions. I was induced with pitocin and only made it a few hours before I gave in and got the epidural. It hurt like a mo fo! Hopefully I'll get to experience labor one more time and hopefully it will be pitocin free. I'd love to be able to see for myself if the contractions are way worse.
Regardless, Katey is a badass.
276. yvonne said:
Yeah okay so I'm not one to cry but at 21 weeks prego I'm sitting at my desk crying! All that I can say is I'm inspired. Since day one I've known that natural birth was my choice since then - it's nice to know I'm not alone :)Once you make this choice there is this whole new world that opens up to you and suddenly your surrounded by amazing moms that understand you and the choice you've made. It's funny but ppl that have never been a part of a natural birth just think I'm crazy.
277. sheameister said:
You go, Katey! What a beautiful little girl.
I just had my second child, and first natural [doula assisted] birth, in December. Your description made the memories of that experience come back so vividly, it was like I relived it... in a good way. Totally had to fetch the Kleenex. I'll be prepared when I read part III, because I just know I'll be a wreck. Darn you for teasing us like that ;)
278. Tracie said:
So, now you've got my eyes welled up, at work. Thanks. I'm due in February with my first child, and I'm scared to death of doing a natural birth. I may look into it now though, but I'm just not sure.
As always, thank you for sharing your stories. They are proving to be quite a source of strength for me as I go through this journey.
279. Cher said:
Do you have a passport? If I buy you a ticket to Bali will you go help my daughter have her baby in November? It's really a tropical paradise...
280. Pissy Britches said:
You are amazing & so inspiring.
Almost makes me want to have 1 more so I can just TRY it, JUST ONE TIME.
Good lord, hurry up with part 3. Your killing us.
281. Carrie said:
What an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to read your own personal experience in Part 3!!
7 weeks and counting for me and this is just what I needed to hear. Its funny that in the Bradley classes all they show you are the labors where the women are coo-ing, sighing, and practically orgasmic during labor. I really wanted to see the more difficult, and I suspect the much more realistic side of natural labor where it is HARD and the woman is struggling to get through it. Its so inspiring to know that yes, I can get through this- even if its so hard I want to give up.
282. Beth said:
Wow! That is incredible. What a beautiful baby! I have been waiting for part 2, and now I find out that there is going to be a part 3?!?! I can't take the wait! I just found out I am pregnant with my second child and you have totally got me thinking about natural child birth. With my first kid I got to 6 when I felt like I needed the epidural. I actually kind of thought I could keep going, but the thought of hours more of labor was too scary. Please hurry with part 3! :)
283. SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said:
Wonderful story, Heather. You've inspired me to work on my own which I didn't get to share when little guy was born since SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem was not yet in existence.
** Also; best line ever:
"Polygamists not only do it willingly, THEY DO IT SOBER."
284. Sue said:
That was beautiful! Funny and beautiful!
285. Kim said:
I have a full time job, a daughter (born almost exactly a year after Leta), and a partner, and am doing my prerequisites to go to school to become a midwife. I am tired. And this post gave me exactly what I needed today to keep going. Thank you so much.
286. Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said:
Beautiful story and I look forward to the next chapter!
287. Katie said:
Is Chimmy by chance the father of that beautiful baby? And she is definitely beautiful.
What a great story - made me smile, even though I just found my beta, Nigel, sideways at the bottom of the tank...
288. BOSSY said:
Yay for Katy. She has awesome eyes.
289. Kelsi said:
That was a wonderful story! I, like Katey, ended up on pitocin after I planned a natural childbirth, but unlike Katey I ended up with an epidural (which I think is the only reason I am sane today), so WAY TO GO KATEY!
It so traumatized me that the birth of my second daughter was a UC, or unassisted childbirth, at home in a birth tub with my husband. It was the most wonderful birth! I couldn't imagine anything more peaceful.
I'm waiting on part three!
290. Wendy said:
Thanks so much, Heather, for sharing the beauty of a natural labor with so many people. I know the status quo is an overly medicalized labor and most people just don't even know that there is an alternative.
I've helped several of my friends during labor, all of them without an epidural (one of them had pitocin as well, which is so much more work, for both the mom and her helpers).
The best part of my own labor and all of those that I attended was the cheering section, that steady chorus of people saying things like "You can do it. You're beautiful. We're so proud of you. You're amazing." And, yes, even "You're a Total Fucking Champ!" and meaning every word of it Those are the words that live with us forever, reminding us, even in our worst mommy moments, that we have been through the worst and we can handle anything.
If anyone's interested my name links to a post with a picture of me helping one of my friends during her labor.
291. JenElls said:
Beautiful girls! I'm glad you introduced Katey after the airing of the Fox 13 Utah story. I watched the full interview via website and thought the shameless "personal assistant" plug by the reporter/interviewer was T-A-C-K-Y!
292. Sandy said:
As usual, beautifully written, both funny and touching. I say to the haters and wanna be mommy bloggers: there is a REASON dooce is famous and you are not.
Of course, this was also painful to read because I'm still so bitter about my c-section. But I'm happy for you, because you write well enough to make me experience real emotion.
293. Fruitfly said:
Wow, Katey, you are a badass. I buckled after about an hour of the pitocin; my hat is off to you. Thank you so much for letting Heather share your story. She has your permission, right? ;)
294. Patty said:
The enlightenment I received when I expereinced natural child birth with my to youngest children at home is what inspired me to get involved in the natural child birth community (and I'm a left-brained CPA). It can't be explained, it has to be experienced. And a shout out to Boise, Idaho, my adopted home town!
295. Laura H. said:
K. sounds tough. After twenty-four hours on Pitocin after premature membranes rupture, and then a cumulative dilation of only 3 centimeters, I went straight for the epidural, and then an emergency c-section. We all emerged healthy and happy.
(But, really, the main thing I envy about K.'s birth is all the people cheering her on and loving her up during labor. I wish I'd had more of a support team around me, but it's just me and my husband here on the West Coast, and most friends and family back East.)
I do hope your stories don't make women who have hospital births, choose pain control, or end up in heavily managed births feel like they're "missing" something, though, or that they should feel guilty or require pity. Any kind of birth can be wonderful and spiritual as long as it ends in healthy baby/healthy mama. And I worry about the progressive mystification of the birth experience.
But I'll shut up now. Both your babies are gorgeous, however they arrived.
296. Eryn Chandler said:
wow katey has really white teeth :-) and she sounds wonderful and completely awesome.
i cry even when i watch "a baby story," i can't imagine how i'll be when it actually happens in real life.
297. Rebecca said:
I feel compelled to write by this post - I've been reading your blog for years but don't think I've ever commented. I'm 29, no babies, no pregnancies, but certainly starting to feel a little clucky. I'm desperate to hear the other part(s?) to this post. I've not put a huge amount of time into thinking of what my preferred birthing plan would be (funnily enough!) but this has inspired me to start thinking about it. I think the point is that we are conditioned to think that having a baby takes place in a hospital, with drugs, gas and air and most probably an epidural. I think it's great that you are opening up the possibilities of a natural birth to people, that like you, may not have considered it previously.
Roll on part 3...I, like others, am on the edge of my seat waiting to hear your experience.
you're fab x
298. Ginessa said:
Beautiful!!!!
299. Brenda said:
Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the saints in a ring OF FIRE! You sure know how to tell a story...and for someone for whom religion is not a BFD, you sure do bring some kickass spirit into your tales.
So tell us, does EVERYONE who makes it into the Armstrong Inner Sanctum ROCK? Or is it the other way 'round? Whatever the answer, you are blessed and you earned it. The right way.
Now the big question is when do Leta (poor kid waiting all this tme) and Marlo get their OWN agents? Besides their natural beauty - which is astonishing at times - and their familial propensity toward greatness, those girls will have STORIES TO TELL!
300. Denise said:
Wow!!! Let's hear it for natural childbirth. After reading this, I can't tell you how happy I am that I went the medicated childbirth route! Seriously, drugs were (and still are) my friends.