The inevitable post that gets placed squarely in the BOOBS category
So. Breastfeeding. You know what? I think I'm going to begin every post just like that from now on:
So.
Just the "So" part, not the breastfeeding part, although I'm open to doing just that if that's what you prefer. But something tells me you might be a little bit done with all the female talk, you know, considering that the word VAGINA currently appears on my homepage seven times, oops, now eight, EIGHT TIMES. And I really hate to admit this, but when my dad calls to tell me that he likes the pictures on my website, never the words involved, I know that he has had to get up from his computer after having read what is written here and physically shudder to try and get the gross off. And the image of that is so motivating!
Turns out that breastfeeding is much easier the second time around. And that's really all I have to say about it, I'm not going to get all graphic about it, just that I'm really enjoying it. Except, there is one kind of annoying aspect about it, the fact that my milk comes in at really random times, just all of a sudden I'm standing there in the kitchen talking to Jon about the schedule of our day and BOOM, both boobs turn on and suddenly I've got two giant, round stains on my shirt. And he's all, you know, that would be so sexy if it didn't remind me of a cow.
MOOOOOOOO!
It always comes in when I hear a crying baby, of course, and one night last week everything sort of fell into place where I could put Leta to bed. Most nights her bedtime coincides with one of Marlo's meals, and Jon is left to handle Leta's bedtime routine. So I'm all excited because she's going to read me a book about a dragon! A DRAGON, Y'ALL. And there's not even a mention of a princess anywhere in it! I was like, who are you and what have you done with my daughter?! Also, you might want to tell whoever took her that she's a picky eater and don't even THINK about letting her chicken nugget touch her French fry or that'll be the worst hour of your life.
So I wrangle Leta into the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth when all of a sudden I hear a crying baby and HELLO GUSHING BREASTS. And it can't be Marlo because she's asleep, but I run to our bedroom anyway to see what's going on and Jon's sitting there on the bed going, what? What's wrong? And I'm all DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR THAT? And he's all, oh you mean the half cylon, half human baby that's crying on this awesome episode of "Battlestar Galactica"? Dude, you're not even gonna believe this but turns out STARBUCK IS A CYLON, DUUUUUDE! And I have a hard time not yanking off my wet shirt and throwing it at his head.
And then the other day I got to go do my favorite thing ever: ride in the car all by myself. I know, I know, SOMEONE STOP ME, but there's something about the first six months of a baby's life when you're sort of physically stuck to them for, oh, twenty-four hours a day, and the freedom of being by myself in the car, of rolling down the windows, pulling back the sunroof and blasting Beyoncé so loud that the concrete in the driveway starts to crack, IT'S JUST SO THRILLING. And the rush is so strong that I want to call everyone I know and go, do you know what I get to do? DO YOU?! I GET TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE! GO AHEAD. ENVY ME.
So I get there, and I'm walking through the aisles, except it's not so much of a walk as it is a very fancy dance BECAUSE I AM BY MYSELF, and I'm tossing the orange juice into the cart, grabbing the SpongeBob-themed fruit snacks, and feeling like I might just grow wings and fly through the air. And then I think I might be forgetting something, do we need apples? Maybe some peanut butter? I can't remember, so I pull out my phone to text Jon to ask him, and guys. I wish I could tell you that this story has a happy ending, but sadly, that is an impossibility. Because you want to know what happened? I mean, I'm shaking my head right now as I write this because I should have known better. Because this is what my phone looks like when I turn it on:
Fortunately for all the patrons browsing the produce section I had remembered to insert absorbent breast pads in my bra, because I could have spray painted the walls a slightly yellowish shade of white with the fire hose of liquid that dropped into my boobs so forcibly that I almost fell face-first on the floor.
MOOOOOOOO!
You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.
If you've already registered, login.
If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.
Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
1. Daddy Scratches said:
When my son was about two months old, we took a drive from our home in the Boston area to my in-laws' in the Philly area. My wife was driving when we got stuck in traffic and our son started wailing. I climbed into the back to try to console him, but to no avail; he was clearly hungry. The screaming and crying continued.
And then my wife said something I don't believe I'll ever forget:
"My breasts are exploding!"
My, but we did laugh.
Point being: Yeah, I get it about the gushing-breasts thing.
2. SJenkins said:
I HATED those pads, but man - are they a lifesaver. I was so damn happy when I was finally able to throw my extras away.
3. Claire said:
I had one of those "Oh my GAWWWWD I am at the grocery store by my self and I have no freakin clue what to do" moments this week... and the car ride alone to the grocery... dont even get me started on that!
Good to hear that BF'ing gets easier with #2. I tried my hardest to BF with Mia but she was intolorant to breast milk. She was intolorant to everything now that I think about it!
My wish is to BF baby #2 and paint the walls while I am at it! I can multi task!
4. Carly said:
I love it. Maybe Leta needs to be on the homescreen for just a little bit longer...
5. Elizabeth_K said:
Oh I'm so glad you're loving it --- your last posts have been so funny, and so full of crazy, gleeful joy. You are a delight to read --- thank you.
6. Cindy said:
Oh good. I was going to say, you have heard of nursing pads right?
7. Jill Put Up A Blog said:
LOL. You make me laugh.
8. Anne said:
It seems everywhere I go it is a discussion of BOOBS today! From your post to our friend with a newborn texting me at 3AM with "MY BOOBS HURT SO BAD!". Good times. :)
Your father is also so hilarious. Reminds me so much of my mother and how she handles me and my siblings. :)
Thanks for making my morning filled with laughter (and weird looks from my boyfriend).
9. Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said:
ahhhh....the memories.
10. Meghan said:
As someone who is weeks from beginning breastfeeding, thank you for the warning.
11. Paige Hamby said:
This is HYSTERICAL, Heather. I completely relate to the whole "riding in the car by yourself and grocery shopping" part. I am a nursing Mom and I remember SKIPPING out the front door the first time I went grocery shopping after having my 2nd baby. I had my Ipod and was so excited for 2 hours of peace and quiet :)
12. Pam said:
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who relishes alone time in a car! I love it so much, I feel a bit guilty. :)
13. Bria said:
Yeah...I was going to mention pads too. I'm also breastfeeding but I haven't had any embarrassing moments. I'm sure my day will come.
14. Angrysugarmama said:
I. LOVE. You.
Thanks for the laughs.
15. Kristin Steiner said:
I'm totally devastated by this post. Not about all the boob talk or the eighth "VAGINA"; I'm totally fine with that.
I'm devastated because my husband recently got me hooked on Battlestar Galactica (http://su.pr/6Y581M) and I haven't watched that episode yet.
Starbuck is a Cylon? Frak!
16. Mumologic said:
At least your let down is symmetrical. My dominant boob is all, "no no, I got this one, sister boob. You just relax."
17. Leatitia said:
I never had a baby and my virgin boobs reacted to that picture.
18. Emily said:
HAHA! Oh man, you are a hilarious lady. Glad I have that to look forward to when I birth.
19. Tiggerlane said:
I remember those days! Except I have nice, perky, size 36-Ds, and guess what? I got the horrible SENSATION, but very little milk! I guess mine are just for show.
It really upset me those first few months that I couldn't provide enough milk. And the pain? Just intense...but the milk, not there. Still wore the pads, tho - b/c even a tiny spot was gross to me.
At least you didn't have to do what Nancy Botwin did on this week's episode of Weeds. OMG...that would have been one heck of a blog post!
20. Milla said:
yeah, but can you use it for coffee creamer?
21. Eleanor's Trousers said:
"A DRAGON, Y'ALL."
Yet another reason to love your site. As an Atlanta native, I can be easily won over by an appropriately funny y'all, though.
22. dooce said:
#16 Mumologic, your dominant boob made me laugh out loud.
23. Sarah said:
And now there is a great big puddle of Sarah on the living room floor, because that photo of Marlo actually made me melt. My heart went all gooey, and then I melted.
24. ellen stevens said:
i love it. okay, so no exploding breasts here (our kids are all foster/adopt). but i have thrilled at the pleasures of a grocery escape. lately, i've actually woken up extremely early to sneak out of the house to buy groceries: quiet, stealthy, giddy, and alone.
25. karen said:
so.
hahahahaha that was a good laugh, thanks. moooooooo
26. tracy said:
I'm surprised I didn't fill up just reading this post.
During vacation last week I (out of sheer & utter desperation to get my kid to SLEEP) I breastfed more often that I had been in our normal routine. Now that I'm back home & back at work, I find myself with the undesirable feeling of "fullness" when I pick my daughter up in the evenings. Commence to re-training daughter & boobs....
27. Sherry said:
me too me too me too. only i blast justin timberlake.
28. Cautionary Girl said:
I like the "So." As if we're in mid-conversation. Which, if you think about it, we really are.
The physics (or maybe physiology) of breastfeeding continue(s) to astonish me. Here at the age of 26, a female who as yet to bear a child, I simply cannot conceive of my boobs actually sustaining life. Unbelievable.
29. Aljolynn said:
Oh my gosh, I think I just experienced a little letdown due to the cuteness of that picture!!! Which is quite the feat since I ceased milking a month ago. ;o) Marlo is so precious looking.
As always you're freaking hilarious!
30. Sunny said:
I'm a freak of nature and never leaked a drop for an entire year of breastfeeding. I had nearly purchased my weight in in Lanisoh and Medela pads to find out I never needed them (and lost the receipt).
31. Ray said:
WOW, can't believe I'll be # 20 on the comments instead of in the hundred's commenting. Anyhow (more like twenty-something now): that is just too funny! I never knew that breast milk came in like that, with just the image of seeing Marlo on your phone. Wow. GOOD THING you had those breast pads! ;o)
32. Ingrid said:
Your milk let down for a cylon baby. That's awesome.
33. Denise said:
Didn't it also feel weird to get in a car WITHOUT THAT BIG BELLY in front of you? I remember that moment very vividly. And I too was beyond excited to be "going somewhere" all by myself. Unfortunately, my first trip was to the DMV. Probably my best DMV memory E.V.E.R.
34. coleen said:
hilarious!
that totally happened to me as well. except it was my ipod pictures. and i HAD forgotten my bra inserts. and i was in sportsmans warehouse. in front of 20 men.
awesome.
35. Jessica said:
Lol! My first week back to work after my daughter was born, I was at a presentation learning about those mechanical babies teenagers carry around that are supposed to teach them the challenges of teen parenthood.
The demonstrator was showing us how the babies cry, and when I heard that horrible recorded screech I experienced that all too familiar tingling in my boobs. My milk let down for a plastic mechanical infant.
36. Linda said:
Very funny, Heather! Been there--done that--threw away the stained t-shirt! For some reason, it always seemed to occur at Target! Funny.
37. Marissa said:
So. That was awesome. I really hope it is easier the second time. 3 more weeks and I'll be wetting t-shirts all over town!! I swear my uterus contracts when I look at pictures of Marlo.
38. Vanessa said:
You need to invest in Lilypads, you'll thank me I promise. Motherhood maternity usually has them but most breastfeeding stores will know exactly what you're asking for
39. Becky said:
As I read the words "HELLO GUSHING BREASTS" I felt that old familiar tingle....
And I haven't lactated in 4 years. It never goes away.
40. No.17 Cherry Tree Lane said:
Oh good. I'm not the only one that had to triple layer nursing pads. I even had to use extra-absorbent maxi pads once. Lovely.
41. Taryn said:
I can't believe I found out Starbuck is a cylon from a blog post on breastfeeding.
42. Cassie said:
Isn't it the saddest thing when you finally get to grocery shop alone, but you rush through because it's what you're used to? However, I got to drive 80 miles ALONE with the windows down and the music blasting. What did I choose? Black Eyed Peas. Because I could.
43. Amelia Sprout said:
You don't want to know this, but if you've got a good letdown, it will be MONTHS after you wean before your boobs stop doing that. Well, at least if you're me that will happen. Can't say I didn't mind having the DD's stick around a bit longer though. No, just half filled water balloons.
44. hanni said:
So.
The freakiest thing is that although my boobs are all dried up (being really old), they are still reacting if I see anything (really, anything) suckling.
Beat that.
hanni
45. Alyxherself said:
Riding in the car! riding in the car! la-ti-da-da yay!
I'ts funking thrilling, I'm withcha. Next time try that boom boom pow by the black eyed peas. jammin, yo.
46. Mrs. Smith said:
haha!! I know how you feel about shopping alone. I secretly LOVE the Dentist & actually nap while I'm there. It's like a spa day for a mother of three...
47. Chriss said:
I used to keep a scarf in my purse for these kind of explosions. They came in handy when I would blow through the pads.
48. Anonymous said:
Wow, did you plan this to coincide with this "controversial", gluttonous, nursing baby doll today?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,537261,00.html?test=latestnews
49. Anne said:
My daughter is 10 months old tomorrow and I think I've been in the car twice without her. And I checked the seat about 12 times before going into the store to make sure she *really* wasn't in there.
50. Claud said:
I wish my dominant boob was content to just respond to sights and sounds of babies. I finally got the chance to take advantage of a gift card for a massage recently. Hmmmm. What they say about relaxtion is true. Halfway through I had the most intensley painful let-down I've had since my kid was born. Thank god I was already lying face-down on a super-absorbent towel.
Heather, thanks for making my friday that much better. And Mumologic, in my household we refer to my dominant boob as "the workhorse" and my other one as the "dressage competitor" because I believe it's merely there for show.
Oh, and how fitting. My Captche says "Vesuvius"
51. Bronwyn said:
Johnson's Nursing Pads are the only things standing between me and milk-sprayed planet.
I've got jet propulsion let-down.
I feel you!
*tingle*
52. Gail said:
*sappy muzak* Memories...light the corners of my mind...misty watercolor memories.....
Of being that Moo cow. I breastfed TWINS and then two years later breastfed a singleton. Oh, the laughter, the memories, the thrill of dancing to Cost-co that this post brought back. And the wet spots, the soaked through breast pads that left bigger wet spots, the boobs that turned on from other peoples freakin' cell phone ringtones, oh, yes, I remember it well.
All my life I thought my Mom was exaggerating when she told me that her milk came in while in the shower and she stood at one end and it splashed off the far end wall and hit her in the face. Then, my milk came in and I called her and apologized for ever doubting her.
As usual, thanks for the laugh!
53. ~Michelle~ said:
dammit, I haven't gotten that far into BSG - spoiler alert! *groans*
54. Natalie said:
It's so great to see you so happy and enjoying motherhood and life in general :)
55. Anonymous said:
After nursing my three, I got that let down feeling every time I held a baby for about two years. Just that ache, like my boobs were tryyyyying.
56. Bessie a.k.a. #39 said:
I read this post while nursing my son. I was laughing so hard he lost his grip and I sprayed him square in the eye...
57. Suz said:
I was reading this about how happy you are to get into a car by yourself and I think I remember a post from after Leta was born about how you wanted to just get in a car and leave... and I'm so happy you're having a great experience and that's it's everything you wanted it to be! I know that we don't know each other, but just reading about you makes me so happy for you :) I guess that's the power of the interwebs or something...
(I fully realize that I might be mis-remembering a post from after Leta was born, it coulda been somebody else, heck, it coulda just been a dream I had once about some random woman getting into a car to leave her child...I'm still happy for you nonetheless... so there...)
58. Mommica said:
Despite the nursing pads, I think people could tell when my boobs filled up. Just by the look on my face. I would be all happy and smiley and then suddenly whomever I was talking to had to worry I was about to murder them.
59. Kristy Merrill said:
Hahaha! I've been there! (Only I forgot the breast pads)
60. Nick from the UK said:
Dear Dooce,
Do you know what a spoiler alert is?
I should think you do, if not, ask Jon.
This post should have definately had one. I'm a bit miffed as I've managed to dodge the latest series info for this long and it's a bugger that I get stung with it reading about breastfeeding of all things.
luvs n hugs
Nick xx
61. Angie said:
My milk came in about 3 times while reading this post.
Your to awesome!
Glad i'm not the only moooing milk machine in the world.
62. Tiffany said:
Weird. I just did a post on my dinky little family blog a couple days ago entitled "So." And started every paragraph with "so." Why? Because the sky was blue. Who knows.... Great post (yours, I mean). I've recently weaned my little one from breastfeeding and surely don't miss that hot/cold shiver when the milk drops. Sometimes would make my eyes water. But I do miss the sweet bonding time....
63. Bronwyn said:
See, now we need a survey to see how many of us have a dominant boob.
Righty here is a solid, overstuffed DD. Lefty's a C.
I'm lucky I can walk in a straight line.
64. Heather said:
I was so "blessed" with milk that if I saw a puppy (not even kidding), my milk would let down. If I saw an emotional commercial (long-distance calling plan, anyone?), my milk would let down. Basically anything that provoked an "awww, that's cute" or "aww, that's sweet" response resulted in milk everywhere.
And oh, man, I remember how exciting it was to go to the grocery store by myself. FREEEEEDOM!!!
65. Caitlin said:
I have to tell you, I had no idea this happened. And also, gross.
My captcha is talking about you: dissatisfied sealants.
66. Anonymous said:
Yes! to the milk coming in at the wrong times and for the amazing feeling of freedom when finally leaving the little one in the early weeks! Well, maybe more like "I hear you" on the first part, it's certainly not fun. Mine's 15 weeks tomorrow, so finally things are starting to level out on both accounts.
67. torelm said:
NOOOO - This is the summer of Battlestar for me and my husband - we have been plowing through the series after our two sons are in bed. I always read the last page in a book and I have worked really hard to not read anything about the series so that we could enjoy it together. No more spoilers!
68. Anonymous said:
Great post, as always. But a //major// spoiler! Come on, seriously?! *groan*
69. Carrie said:
You know, it's not that hard to put an older kid to bed while breastfeeding the baby. Let's put it this way: It can't be too hard if _I_ can do it.
70. Ashley said:
So I hear in Utah there is a place that makes Ice Cream out of breast milk. Maybe you could spray some into their reciepes for them. Hahahaha. Thanks for the laughs.
71. Swedish Pankakes said:
haha :)
Does reading the word BABY make you gush? Or typing BABY? Or thinking BABY?
BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY . . .
72. Kristan said:
LOL. But also: EW.
And also also! JON IS SO COOL! Although a little behind, considering BSG ended a few months ago... Tell him it GETS BETTER and the ending TOTALLY ROCKS!
73. Melissa said:
I nursed my second child for over a year and HATED the feel of nursing pads, not to mention how bulky they looked under a t-shirt. Please, check out LilyPadz, they are awesome! Once your milk is established they are wonderful for avoiding spontaneous wet t-shirt contests!
74. NES said:
ya, you are kinda blowing a critical part of the BSG storyline. Maybe you should give a heads up to readers to skip a couple lines in case they don't want the plot blown if they are way behind.
Really funny story otherwise!
75. Kristin said:
I did NOT need to know that about BSG. I'm in Season 1, Episode 6. Grr!
76. Kristan said:
Haha, I just read some of the comments and you have pissed off the nerds! They, like Jon, are LATE with their nerdiness, but it's okay. Tell them Jon's comment is deceiving/not quite accurate, because that's true. They can take it on the authority of someone who actually finished watching the entire show. :)
77. Katy said:
Hee hee. mooo. What a 21st century problem. "My iphone made my breasts explode in the grocery store"
rock on.
78. Beth said:
Once again, you hit the nail on the head! I also am breastfeeding my second time around and I can't believe how crazy my boobs are. With my first, I never had a problem with the letdown - even if she was the baby that was crying. But with my new daughter, oh man, if I even think about any baby that has ever roamed the planet my milk lets down. I don't even have to be thinking about a baby, it could be any child in general - even my first who is almost 3 years old. They are out of control!
Thank you Dooce, for allowing us all to talk freely about our boob problems.
79. ElizabethE said:
Ugh. Why did you spill the beans about Starbuck?? For what it is worth, I think he might be wrong. I think they want you to THINK she is a cylon, but she isn't.
80. Lisa said:
You know what this post and all the comments just did to me? Gave me that tingly, letdown sensation. And my "baby" is 14 - weird! Congratulations to you & your family...your posts are a delight to read!
81. Miss M said:
I've so been there. 8 months in and just the sound of another baby crying brings on the let-down. I've actually had that happen at work because I just thought about my son.
The reusable pads are the best for those really big leakages. And thank the heavens for them!
Also thanks for posting your birth story. I am determined to have a natural birth next time. Having my son cut out of me at 29 weeks because my placenta was separating was not the joyous birth experience I wanted. He's still the most wonderful thing ever, but I would really like that baby high you were talking about. It's just not the same when you don't get to hold them for days.
82. Chris said:
I haven't nursed in years [Nor will I ever nurse again. I'm old.], and that photo almost made me let down. You're doing great!
83. Vanderbilt Wife said:
I have nursed my daughter for nine months and NEVER felt let down or leaked. It's so peculiar. I kept waiting for it to happen.
I shall consider myself among the blessed! I am guessing all bets are off for the next kid, though.
84. kage said:
I thought you were going to see the picture are cry right there in the produce section because you missed her....but no, milk explosion! I should have seen that one coming.
85. Starr said:
Breastfeeding is so awesome! I could not even think about going without breast pads for at least the first six months I nursed both of my children. And the feeling of getting in the car without a child is WONDERFUL. Although, I would always have the feeling I was forgetting something. It is weird going somewhere without the diaper bag on one arm and baby on the other.
86. kathryn said:
Thank you for not painting a horrible, scary picture of breastfeeding. I found the Johnson's breast pads to be the best. I loved them so much that I have them still stashed away after I stopped nursing my first so I can use them with the second. Yes, I am that damn cheap!
87. Liz C said:
Wait... Starbuck is a cylon? Shit. I really need to get though the rest of the DVDs. I hope she's not a cylon. Finding out that Tyrol,Anders, Tigh, and Tory might be cylons was bad enough.
oops. Did I say that out loud? Sorry.
Oh, good luck with the lactating, too. :)
88. Uma said:
I had just nursed my baby down and tucked her in for the night when I started reading this and saw Marlo's picture. Guess what my boobs are doing? I should just pump and ship a few bottles to her.
89. Izzy said:
I'm not really enjoying BSG so I'm not actually complaining too much, but I am complaining a little because I am watching it and I am almost at the end and, you know... SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS, WOMAN! I KNOW YOU GOT MILK ON ALL YOUR BLOUSES AND SHIT BUT STILL A WARNING WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.
I think there's generally a window of time after something goes public during which it still requires a spoiler warning and we are definitely still in that window of time.
On the other hand, maybe you've just saved me all those hours in front of the computer. So thanks for that.
90. Nora said:
My daughter is over 12 months and I still wear those damn absorbent breast pads every day... I just recently stopped wearing a nursing bra to bed. Can't wait to put the old milkers into retirement for good!
91. Megan said:
My breasts are still purely decorative, but seeing that picture just about made them functional.
92. Janelle said:
If I had a daughter, I'm not sure I could resist the temptation to ban all princess stories. Dragons are way more fun!
93. Kay said:
That is the most adorable baby girl! This was so funny to me because of your "excitability" with going to the store. (Yeah, I said it!!!!!) Eyes burning yet? But my mom is the exact same when she "gets to go grocery shopping". She stayed there a good 2 hours one day, and said it felt like a much needed vacation. (my little brother is 2)
94. a chris said:
That is an awesome end to the story though.
I relate. And the picture is perfect.
Disposable breast pads are an example of the application of modern technology to a vital product I never even knew existed until I googled around for things to buy in preparation for the birth. Turns out life was even suckier for women in the olden days than I ever knew.
95. mouthymama said:
Okay, I'm actually laughing out loud. I LOVE this post. I certainly relate. When I had my first baby I used to be up in the middle of the night feeling sorry for milk cows. I had milk spraying out of me!
The worst part--whenever my dog howled, my milk came in like it was spraying from a fire hose! She was a poodle, a lot of howling, and a lot of changed wet shirts:)
www.mouthymama.com
96. Kelly said:
"Dude, you're not even gonna believe this but turns out STARBUCK IS A CYLON, DUUUUUDE!"
i haven't watched it on tivo yet! MOTHER FUCKING FUCK!
97. Anne Marie said:
I remember that happening. Things settle down after a few months and then the milk doesn't gush any more at random times. I always forgot to put the pads in, so I would often be walking around with several dried milk stains on my shirt before I could finally get home to change.
98. The Blushing Hostess said:
Totally with you on all this, esp. what a profound joy it is to drive in the car alone - I mean, must be...
99. Karen said:
I LOVE to drive in the car by myself. I got to do it just yesterday and it was such a blast. I blared the stereo, sang REALLY loudly, let the wind whip through my hair. Ok, there was no "whipping" in Atlanta in August what with the humidity and my hair's desire to frizzzzz.
I think your post made my boobs leak...
100. hayley l. said:
Any woman who has every nursed is nodding their heads in commiseration and thinking of their own un-duly timed gushers.
I'm still chuckling about "YOU'RE A F*CKING OCTOPUS! WHY AREN'T YOU SWIMMING?!"
Too good.
101. Beck said:
I've had that happen many times in the recent past (I have a 7 month old). Here is a trick to stop the milk from coming: As soon as you feel the tingle, put pressure on your nipples for a few moments. It works really well and can usually be done surreptitiously. It's great for those times when you forget the nursing pads (or when you don't want soggy nursing pads).
102. Cyndi said:
No nursing here, but my phone looks like that too. Not the beautiful baby, but the CONSTANTLY almost discharged battery. Hoping for a software update that will fix that soon.
103. Celeste said:
Oh, I've so been there. When my daughter was about a month and a half old, I left her with Grandma for the first time to go see the new Pirates of the Caribbean (I think it was #2). About half way through the theater, a baby cried. Luckily, like you, I had remembered the pads. Unluckily, the movie was REALLY FREAKING LONG! By the time we got out to my car, I had to lay my seat down while my husband drove and try to manually pump milk with my hands into some extra pads to ease some of the pain. By the way, this is a LOT harder than it sounds.
Thankfully when I got to my mom's house, my baby was more than hungry enough to take care of the problem.
104. Spoke said:
I'd very much like to eat your baby. She looks like she'd taste really good with some ketchup.
105. Annie said:
I so hear you on that one. I had to wear those disposable pads that had some absorbent material--they would feel like a full diaper on each boob when I went to take them off. Still, there's so much good to breastfeeding, it makes all the bad stuff worthwhile...
106. robyn said:
Your posts lately sound positively giddy. I love it that you're having such a great time with life this time around!
PS - I highly recommend washable fabric breast pads. You don't end up with soggy cotton stuck to your boob.
107. Diane said:
OMG, hilarious. It's been eleven years and I still remember that so well. That strange feeling, followed by the spouts going on. Value it.
108. srra said:
I breastfed my twins. There is nothing so Moooo-like than having a baby on each breast. Mooooooo. I called myself the dairy queen.
109. Danielle said:
Ok, here's what I'm wondering...
My son is almost 10 weeks old now, and my boobs have some sort of crazy Spidey sense going on. It never fails that I can predict when he'll wake from his naps because about 5 minutes prior they get all tingly and sore. Like my milk somehow magically knows that it is about to be called into action and it is getting ready.
Anyone else have psychic boobs? I can't be the only one!
110. Anonymous said:
I hope you're pleased with the spoiler about BSG! I am choosing not to believe it.
111. Anonymous said:
Breastfeeding twins+one missed feeding= 22 oz. of pumped milk. Yeah, MOOOOO!
All I can say is Curity Nursing Pads... saved my sanity :).
112. Klemptor said:
Argh. I haven't seen Season 4 of BSG yet. Please no more spoilers!
113. Emma said:
I love this blog!!
114. famousamy said:
LOL at all the bitching about the spoiler. Once the episode airs it's free game, people. Watch the episode real time (and don't be on the internet when you do it) if you don't want to be spoiled.
If you TIVO/DVR something you don't want to be spoiled about, you shouldn't be on the interwebs (or watching other TV, or listening to the radio) before watching! DUH.
Anyway, excellent post Dooce!
115. Cassidy said:
Alright guys calm down, Starbuck is not, i repeat NOT a cylon. Remember all that Angel Talk? Remember Angel Giaus and Angel Caprica? Starbuck is similar. Silly Billies.
116. Angela said:
So. I used to love you. Now I hate you. I will still read your blog and love every minute but I think it may be some time before I stop hating you.
DAMNIT. I HAVEN'T FINISHED BATTELSTAR YET AND NOW YOU WENT AND FUCKING RUINED IT. Seriously. I cannot believe that you blurted that shit out.
117. Lara said:
Thank god for those plastic-backed breast milk absorbing pads. Even at that our mattress would be soaked every morning thanks to the 1/2 gallon of milk I dreamt into existence every night.
118. Taylee said:
MOOOOOOOOO
Perhaps you should quickly grab a bowl or cup for when you have unexpected MOOOOO moments...I'm sure you could use the milk for something. Cooking? Give to Chuck to drink? I dunno, it just seems like such a waste to wear it on your shirt.
119. Jenifer said:
Guess what!? Breastfeeding gets even easier with #three and #four;)You are HIlarious,Dooce. Glad to hear all is well.
120. mouthymama said:
I love this post. I am laughing out loud! My boobs used to spray everytime my poodle would bark and cry! Let's just say she barked A LOT! Thanks for the post.
www.mouthymama.com
121. tiff said:
Oh, what an awesomely hilarious story - one which I can relate to. Ditto on the MOOO!
122. Mari said:
While I recently made a pledge to myself to stop beginning sentences with, "So," now you've given me the inspiration to instead use it as much as possible . But, as a third grade teacher, how much linguistic damage am I doing?
123. Tina said:
Yes, I remember those days. First child story, before I discovered the pads. I was sitting on the examining table at the ObGyn's ofc. with a gown draped around me, buff from the top to the waist. I look over at my precious newborn daugther in her car seat and all of a sudden both BOOBS began gushing, soaking my gown. Who knew?!!!! Of course the nurse and doctor walked in....
124. Anonymous said:
I can't believe you just dropped a major spoiler....my husband and I have been watching Battlestar on DVD for the past few weeks! I know the series ended, but why couldn't you have warned us?? I am seriously bummed; this is the first TV series I've enjoyed in awhile. :(
125. Kat said:
Funny that a spoiler for BSG is what brings me out of my lurkiness. GAH! Can't even believe I've avoided spoilers for this long just to have it ruined by a dooce blog about BOOBS. Oddly enough, this kind of random shit is a big reason why I keep coming back for more. Still, there is some grumbling going on about the BSG thing.
126. Karyn said:
I am udderly confused (heh) about the whole breastfeeding sitch. Here's my take on breast pumps:
http://donthavekids.wordpress.com/2009/05/28/breast-pumps/
127. Lauren said:
I think my mouth just represented your boob then because it exploded and now my laptop is covered in tea. Thanks for making me laugh but I would like a new laptop please. Haha.
128. Michele said:
so so true! I just try to inconspiculously hold my wrists up to my boobs to try to stop it, but it looks like I'm praying. I wonder what people think.... thanks for the laugh.
129. Kara said:
Large, swollen, supple breasts...that leak sticky white fluid. Nothing's sexier! My husband was so excited about the engorged breasts until he figured out the consequences of touching them! I've had many, "Mooooo!" moments myself!
130. Anonymous said:
I am sooo right there with you right now. I am at home with my 3 month old - I go back to work in a month. We tried to go to a baseball game sans baby last week and had to leave in the 8th inning so my boobs didn't spray everywhere. ugh. and agree totally about the grocery store - I used to hate it now I LOVE it. I can shop and look at all the varieties of green beans. who knew there were so many? glad to hear it gets a little easier after 6 months. by the way, I read your book while I was pregnant and it was awesome! didn't scare me one bit, lol.
131. CJK said:
HA! Mooooooo
Don't you love when they're so full that when your milk lets down and baby makes the mistake of pulling off for a second to adjust she gets a milk facial?? And they have zero neck control so it's not like they can dodge it...aaaah, good times! I'll be sad when I'm done this second, and last, time around.
132. Rebecca said:
Heather, as a parent of 2 girls ages 4 and 6 and a 5-month- old son, my life is so your life and I love, love, love reading your take on it.
You are extremely gifted ...
Thank you again for another wonderful post!
P.S. The boob leaking does slow down a little later on, thank God.
133. Sarah said:
Hopefully it's easier for me the second time around as well!! Atleast your ringtone isnt Marlo crying, your tits would most likely explode.
134. sassyprisilla said:
I pumped and fed my son exclusively for 15 months. My milk let down at the sound of heavy machinery, not babies.
135. mmh said:
I remember going to the gas station to buy a soda (1/2 mile from my house) about two weeks after baby was born BY MYSELF!!! It was exhilerating!!! The second place I went by myself was the dentist. I hate to admit it was the most relaxing hour I have ever, ever spent. Whoever said it was like a spa day is right on!!!!!! All my childless friends laugh at me every time they hear that story... Just wait!!
136. Laura said:
That's so funny! I love the mooing too, I can't even rememebr my name because I have been called "the milk truck" for 3 years now.
137. MommiePie said:
Damn. Reading this just made my milk come in!
138. RichardK said:
You are precious.
139. Ashley said:
But, but, but . . . Starbuck ISN'T a Cylon! She's an angel sent from God or whatever.
This was hilarious, by the way.
140. kristen said:
Going to the grocery store alone is equal to going to the spa.
And if it wasn't for Lansinoh nursing pads I would have looked like a target.
141. Mari said:
Oh my gosh, I forgot about leakage! Have you taken one out and squirted Jon yet? Shuts 'em right up. Target practice is fun!
142. Jennnie C. said:
I think it's hilarious that your milk leaked when Hera cried. But what the heck - Starbuck wasn't a cylon!
143. Tania said:
My first child and I were not good at breastfeeding. I did not sleep for four days after giving birth. My neighbor who was a nurse saw the lights on at five am and called to say stop listening to the breastfeeding Nazis and give the kid some damn formula! Baby slept, we slept and the milk finally came in. And boy did it! It took a hot shower, hot towels, my husband, and a breast pump to relieve the engorgement. Thirteen years later we still laugh at the memory.
Second time around was so much easier. I gave birth to a boy who nursed like a champ thirty minutes after delivery and my milk came in before leaving the hospital. The milk flowed so well that I was able to freeze enough milk to feed my fourteen week old son while I was away on a business trip for five days. The best part of the trip was being in a room next to a fussy infant. Every time that baby cried at night I flooded the bed!
So glad to see you are enjoying Marlo! Love reading every post!
144. monica said:
My milk almost let down seeing that baby!! Beautiful. You wrote in a previous post how you did not expect the feeling of crazy, overwhelming love for your first child after having your second. Kind of like it hit you all over again, the love for Leta. I went through that similar experience (it took your post for me to remember and, you know, write it down somewhere so I wouldn't ever forget again...), but the love I would feel looking at my toddler caused my milk to leak like crazy. Baby crying--nope, my beautiful toddling girl looking sad, or happy, or doing something funny, or walking into the room--SOAKED!
145. Chareelk said:
LANSINOH PADS. Those are the only ones you should use. cloth are huge and soak thru, and all the other disposables are thick, sticky, soggy and miserable. I had to use them cause the milk stained my shirts even if i washed them right away.
LANSINOH PADS... in the purple box!
146. Sarah said:
DUDE! I am soooo on the same page as you right now! Got my breast pads in and everything. Check out this post on my blog from the other day...I TOTALLY get what you're saying!
http://your-life-is-now.blogspot.com/2009/07/not-so-wild-anymore.html
147. Candace said:
OMG! Starbuck is a CYLON?!!! I haven't got that far.
Thanks for the spoiler! :(
And for the laugh of the day.
148. Jordan Olson said:
I remember the day I went to the grocery store by myself for the first time after my daughter was born. *sigh* I remember feeling completely free at the time and took like an hour and a half at the grocery store for 5 items.
Moooooo! I wish I had had that kind of let-down. I was a constant dripping faucet. I don't know that I was never not leaking. Ever. Even months after I weaned. I do remember changing my breast pads all the time and I swear they'd weigh like 5 pounds and it felt like such a waste of breast milk...
149. Carrie said:
I thought breastfeeding was easier with my second as well. Only made it 5 weeks with the first one! My second went 8 months before she lost interest and tried to eat sitting up, which is against the physics of breastfeeding.
I fondly remember the days of leaking. Mine was always worst at night and I often woke up swimming! I eventually broke down and bought these sticky rubber like shields that helped as long as there wasn't too much pressure!
150. Anonymous said:
Aren't you worried Leta will feel left out / jealous with that (beautiful) phone screen picture?
151. KathyM said:
Y'know, if I were still nursing and saw that particular picture, I think my milk would also let down! :-)
152. LJM said:
Wish you would have noted the Battlestar spoiler alert - man! Not that I wasn't suspecting Starbuck, but still. Ah well. Enjoyed the post.
153. Anonymous said:
My "yeah I am all alone" trip was to the Walgreens to pick up photos of our new little angel...which of course I opened and looked at right there in the store. Let down, all over the front of my t-shirt.
It was raining out though so I was hoping the photo-lab guy had no idea.
154. a said:
nice product placement.
155. lizandboys said:
I STILL get that feeling when I run errands by myself and the boys are 5 and 9 years old!!
I hated the disposable and cloth pads - I liked Lilypadz - odd but they worked well for the gallons of milk that leaked from me.
The 2nd time was easier for me too...congrats again - you have a beautiful family
156. Lisa said:
Hilarious yet beautiful all at the same time. You're a rock star, Heather.
157. Roach said:
SO precious I can hardly stand it...that pic!!
158. Lisa Rae @ smacksy said:
A solo trip to the market is like being launched into space. (No baby on board feels sort of naked. In a good way.)
159. Cara said:
Great post and the picture is adorable! I haven't breastfed for 3 years now, but occasionally when hearing a baby cry in a story I've felt that distinct tingling that comes just before letdown. Crazy stuff!
160. June said:
The visual/aural baby stimuli never did it for me, but when I had let-down, it was the proverbial fire hydrant stream of milk. There was much choking, gagging, and coughing, and of course this was going on last summer, when you turned on the news and all you would hear is "waterboarding" day in and out.
It took months for the girl to figure out how to control the flow, namely through CLAMPING DOWN when it started. (Mthrfkr that hurts!) I can only say it got worse for a while when she got teeth - nothing quite like peering down and seeing bite marks circling the nipple - but then she learned to clamp with her tongue instead of her jaws, or maybe the let-down lightened up, or possibly I got used to the pain.
161. Cran said:
I used to push somewhat firmly on the nipple that was spraying wildly while the baby was working on the other side. Just as if you're pushing an elevator button, but hold your finger there for a few minutes till the tingle goes away. If Marlo is as greedy as my babies were, she'll appreciate the extra ounce or so that didn't end up in a towel!
162. Sara said:
Great job Heather! So happy to hear that things are going so well! Enjoy that baby!
163. Jennifer said:
Oh how I love my trips to the grocery! Guess what I got to do the other day? I got to go out ALL BY MYSELF- with my camera to take pictures of things that don't poop on my hand whilst being wiped. HOORAY!!
164. Kate R. said:
Oh the pure joy of an empty car (even though I automatically check the backseat mirror and am startled every time I see the empty car seat.) I was just telling my friend today how excited I am to drive down to Sundance tonight by myself because I can listen to NPR and not have my nine month old complain because I stopped singing Old McDonald Had A Farm. Yes, I am that much of a nerd.
165. Edwin Allen said:
I'm so with you all the way with the 'so' thing. Generally I have to go back and edit them out because I start every paragraph that I don't start with anyway with so.
So, you go with yr fancy dancing though, take it to the grocery sto-ah, oh, oh.
Sorry, got away from myself there. Seriously though, awesomely hilarious. Just awesomely hilarious.
166. Bobbie said:
"the freedom of being by myself in the car, of rolling down the windows, pulling back the sunroof and blasting Beyoncé so loud that the concrete in the driveway starts to crack"
Straight back in time fifteen years. Beach Boys, not Beyoncé, but still. Time travel. (And now she's in Drivers Ed, where did the time go?)
167. Meredith said:
You've got to love how milk comes in at the most inopportune times.
I'm adding you to my daily reading. I'm quite fond of English degree holders, people who make a living without having to physically leave their homes, and funny people. You are all of the above.
168. Jenna Jean said:
That dimple is too great for words.
169. shelby said:
I get it...I have a 3 week old!
170. Amy said:
Try this:
As soon as you feel that tingle, firmly press your forearms or wrists against your boobs, applying pressure to the nipple until the sensation goes away.
It works great, but you may get kicked out of the grocery store for groping yourself in public, thus ending your glorious alone time.
171. Helen said:
I am right there with you on how much easier it is to breastfeed the 2nd time around. I didn't even give my baby a bite of cereal until he was 6 months old. He was so healthy and chubby and it was so mind-boggling to realize that he got that way solely through my milk! How awesome is that?!?
The milk "letdown" is an amazing miracle in itself. I learned to put my arms tightly across my boobs when I was out in public. Thank goodness for the warning "tingle" that it is about to be CHOW TIME! At home, I would often resort to washcloths and cut up maxi pads (the big thick saddle kind!). They work fine.
Your I-phone pic of Marlo is adorable. You and Jon sure do make some good lookin' babies!
172. Anonymous said:
LILLY PADS!!!
They are not just breast pads, in other words, they don't just absorb the leak, they stop your breast from leaking to begin with. And they do not stick to your wet nipples and require painful peeling off, and they are washable, breathable, reusable and they stay put. I teach for 6 hours straight, without 2 10 minute breaks and if it were not for lillypads, I would have never managed.
173. Jo said:
Black shirts. Always.
174. Twwly said:
I eventually gave up on nursing pads and would stuff a folded over receiving blanket or prefold under my tanks.
175. HollyLynne said:
Wait . . . seriously? That ACTUALLY HAPPENS?! I swear . . . the things people don't bother telling you before you have kids.
176. MeganIngram said:
So I managed to avoid finding out who the remaining cylons were on io9 and the OnionAVClub and every other SciFi blog I read and then one day I'm just happily reading my favorite mommyblogger's newest post and BAM!
How can I go through life knowing trucks like that are going to come barreling down the street just as I'm crossing it?
177. Diana said:
Is it bad when I read this and it makes we want to have another baby. I miss those days...as hard as they were.
178. Hope said:
I have no comment on the breastfeeding aspect. But, I AM concerned with how far behind Jon is on his Battlestar Gallactica. Dude, really!
Oh, and do you pick out the Captcha? Mine spells out "anxious mother" Weird!
179. Lindsey said:
my favorite was getting out of a hot shower and spraying milk all the way across the bathroom. While I was breastfeeding both kiddos my husband and I were never intimate without my bra on for fear that he might get shot in the eye. HA!
180. Christi said:
This made me laugh. My leak experience came as I was teaching 24 pregnant couples about childbirth. I didn't notice I was leaking until I felt it trickle down by my waist and by that point, I had the two round wet circles. And NO ONE POINTED IT OUT TO ME PRIOR TO THAT!!! Hello! These women were probably going to be dealing with it in the very near future and no one said anything. Anyhow, it was a good transition into talking about breastfeeding.
Thanks for all the laughs. I love how I can nod and smile while I read your blog!
181. Bec said:
So this one time, about 12 weeks after I had my first baby, there I was standing in the kitchen.... beautiful hard wood floors, freshly mopped; when I heard "tic tic tic tic tic tic.....". As I spun around to turn the water faucet off, because surely that was the source of the steady drip of water, I realized the water was not on. I bent over to look under the sink for the mysterious leak when I noticed my boobs.... steady and sure, leaking milk all over my freshly mopped floors. I was wearing those lovely nursing pads. That day I started using mini maxi pads in my bra. Never had to mop twice in a day after that... well, at least not until my son started experimenting with his "hose" when he was two!
Cute story... totally relate!
182. Brandi said:
Oh I am so envious of the car ride! Now with 4 it's a treat to have just one along, and especially so if it's one who can walk AND wipe his own rear end--although I'm not really that picky. I actually got to ski once when my first was nursing, and it may have been the last time oh, say, 8 years ago...but it was with my brother-in-law who during lunch said, 'hey, there's a baby' and I turned to look without a thought and oh my oh my the letdown! And, of course, he was young and ignorant of such things I had to sit there and try to explain why my face had just contorted into an unrecognizable raisin. He loves to bring it up to this day.
183. Meg said:
I love this. Breastfeeding my first was a disaster. By the time he was 2.5 months old he looked like a pale white version of the sallow faced, big bellied babies of the feed the starving babies of Africa commercials... I just wasn't producing enough milk. My second son was the exact opposite. I could have won a squirting competition with the neighbor boy's super soaker 1000. Anything would set them (I say them because these were not the boobs I or my husband knew before) off, even a whiny cry of a firetruck's siren!
184. Mama in the City said:
Buy some Lilly Padz.
This will help with the sudden floods of breast milk. If you have 'big' boobs they can be difficult to stay on but work well when you wear them with a bra. No bunchy pads either.
Thumbs up.
185. Anonymous4This said:
#150... Ummm Leta has been the sole phone pic, wall pic, desk pic, etc. for her whole life... surely she can deal with, or learn to deal with, not being the center of attention, at least on the cell phone. Doesn't Marlo deserve the same attention?
As an after thought: Something tells me Leta, who can't let a french fry touch her chicken nugget without having a total melt down, still runs things in the Armstrong house.....
186. Shannon said:
I'm probably the 197th person, but I know that you can't be sick of hearing it, to say that you have the most cutie-cute-cute baby ever. My kids are now old enough that I feel comfortable saying that.
I still get a rush like I'm on crack when I get to do anything by myself. I'm so excited because in two weeks my youngest starts school. That's three kids in school, none at home. It almost blows my mind!
187. hmrhiggy said:
I think I can top this:
I am a veterinary assistant and was assisting with a euthanasia. Sad, I know. We were right in the middle of the procedure when the man and woman began to sob. I started leaking all over the place. I of course had forgotten to put breast pads in. It was horrible. I felt terrible. But the bright side was that it was the comic relief that the people needed. Nothing like a leaky boob to put a smile on your face!
188. kimberly said:
Too, too funny!!! Thank you for the great laughs today.
189. Tinkersdamn said:
My son was 4 months old when my husband and I married... I had to double up nursing pads that day. And damned if he didn't start crying in the middle of the ceremony. When I watched the video later there was a sudden a definite "nghh!" noise coming from my direction shortly after he started wailing.
Argh, and my mom thought it would be a brilliant idea to take a photo of me before I was dressed, with the full corset, garters, stockings, etc... and there, bright as day, are my nursing pads showing thru the corset.
And BOO! to the person who wondered if Leta would be jealous of the pic on your phone. Like we moms don't feel torn enough about fair play. Moron.
190. Jen said:
Oh my goodness, I think I felt MY milk try to come in after seeing that picture and my baby is five!
191. Meesha said:
A friend of mine with twins calls those solo trips to the grocery store "Going to the spa." That alone pushed my plans to start a family back two years at least.
192. Brenna said:
I was a gusher too, so I had to write and tell you to go get Lily Pads. Go, Go now. Trust me they will save you countless moments of "SHIT, I forgot a spare shirt!". They are these silicone pads that are contoured like a real breast, not flat like a pancake, and they use presure to prevent leaking. Yes! I said PREVENT, not soak up. They are very comfortable too, and you just wash and reuse!! You only need one pair, Perfect! Hope it helps.
193. Anonymous said:
I have never known anyone whose boobs leaked...well, maybe I have..but I didn't know it. I'm not sure what that says about me. Either my friends don't share or I don't pay attention. All of this baby stuff is like someone explaining sci-fi to me. It confuses me and my eyes glaze over.
194. Savanah said:
"I could have spray painted the walls a slightly yellowish shade of white with the fire hose of liquid that dropped into my boobs so forcibly that I almost fell face-first on the floor."
Gehhhhhhhhhhh...
195. Kristyn said:
Back in December when my baby was only about 3 weeks old, my husband and I were watching our favorite Christmas movie. Die Hard. After a long gun fight between Bruce and Hans by boobs totally starting ringing and then leak city. Who knew semi automatic gunfire would trigger my milk to come in??
196. JennC said:
Dude! I don't which is funnier - your post or all the BSGers losing their fucking minds. My God people, calm down! HAHAHAHAHA
197. JenElls said:
I'm sooo glad you wrote about a solo grocery store trip being a highlight mom moment! I have a four month old babe boy with a left dimple-- no kidding-- and a trip to the grocery store or Target (if I'm lucky) feels like a day at the beach... before a day at the beach involved swim diapers, sand toys, spf 175, and a cooler of capri suns! Just thank you for your candidness. Your post made me relate and smile!
198. Kendra said:
I really did love breastfeeding, though with my youngest 17 months now, I think I'm about ready to be done (I swear, she would happily nurse until she's in her teens).
But the letdown! I was never one to get sneaky spontaneous letdown, but it was surprisingly painful. And when I was full? I remember once, driving home from work with my husband, making him poke my rock-hard boobs so he could appreciate the amount of pain I was in!
199. Bushwaxed said:
I believe they call them "Pavlov's Boobs."
200. Kat Kirby said:
I'm always sorry for those women who have leaky breasts. I breastfed all three of my kids and nary a leak did I have.
201. Tiffany said:
You probably don't even read comments once they reach 200, but I'm going to give it a go anyhow! When my son was young I used to have to let the gushing firehose of milk spray into a cup when he started feeding so he wouldn't choke. Once partway through a feeding it started gushing again and it came OUT HIS NOSE (yes I totally panicked but he was fine)! In the shower I would LITERALLY have milk hitting the far side of the bathtub. I highly recommend Lansinoh breast pads - they are the only ones that I never ever leaked through. Thanks for sharing! Always! :D
202. MamaCass said:
Oh, I am so with you on this one! And would you believe I actually know women who only let down when nursing on the actual side they are nursing on??? I had to wear breast pads 24 hours a day the entire time I nursed both of my kids. Night was the worst. If I didn't I'd wake up in a pool of milk every 2 hours. My let down was so fast my kids would gasp as they tried to eat. Thanks for sharing this story. Doesn't it make you wonder how many other women might have been in the grocery store and also letting down at the same time?
203. Wacky Mommy said:
Ah, mammaries. And memories.
204. amy j. said:
Read this off my phone while waiting for my lunch at Red Lobster with the fam...when I busted out laughing my oldest daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, you really are starting to develop a problem regarding the internet...now you are reading Dooce off your phone."
I don't generally read it off my phone. But they were playing Tic Tac Toe and I was bored. Thanks for the laugh Heather. As a woman who didn't breastfeed, I can't really conceive of that sensation, but I can...which is weird, lol. :) I guess if you have boobs and have had a baby it isn't hard to imagine. The sensation of having my milk come in totally weirded me out.
205. Janet! said:
WOw- she's a beauty and I imagine anyone that sees that photo will have milk coming in!
206. Katie said:
That picture is PRECIOUS!! I also love how Leta is as neurotic as my daughter in the food department! We had to invest in the plates that have 5-6 DIVIDED sections so we can all live our lives in peace!
207. Toaster said:
Jon is WRONG! Starbuck is a magical pigeon, not a cylon! (That will only make sense if he has seen the series finale) :-P
208. Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said:
I hated that about breastfeeding!! Truth be told, though, I hated almost everything about breastfeeding ... (except for the enormous boobs and nice cleavage, of course, and the fact that it burns extra calories).
But here I am, nine months pregnant with my third, and I'm going to give breastfeeding another try. I'm really, reeeeeally hoping I like it this time - fire hydrant boobs be damned!
209. erin said:
hilarious
210. Missey said:
Oh my Christ am I glad that never happened to me! I too loved the breast feeding, did it for a year and never experienced the crazy cry/visually induced milk release. I think it is amzing, strange, and terribly primal. Maybe you should become a wet nurse if this whole crazy "blog thing" doesn't pan out! ;-)
211. Anonymous said:
Just wanted to let you know I do not watch Battle Star Galactica and you did not ruin anything for me. I used to let down when our cat meowed. Darn cat.
212. Daniel said:
Uncool if Starbuck turns out to be a cylon, as my ladyfriend and I are about three episodes from the end, and now that is all I will be thinking.
213. Nel said:
That picture one your iphone is the most precious thing I have ever seen. Except for every other picture of Marlo. And every other picture of Leta. You have 2 of the most amazing children ever.
214. lulu said:
so strange. i have been exclusively BFing my five month old son, and no explosions here. but congrats on a fantabulous site.
215. Rachel said:
Heather, THIS is why you're #26, and why I keep coming back for more!
ROFLMAO!
216. Lene said:
Please tell me you didn't just tell me who the 12th Cylon is? Because unlike with the finale of The Sopranos where someone I know told me the ending despite desperate pleas that they keep their mouths shut because I was waiting for the DVDs, I've somehow managed to avoid that knowledge so far and would know this myself already now that the DVD is (finally) out, except my TV blew up last weekend and PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T JUST GIVE OUT THE IDENTITY OF THE 12TH CYLON?!??
Sob.
p.s. So. What kind of cow? Holstein or Jersey?
p.p.s. I don't have kids, but that picture made me feel a little lactatious myself. Awwww….
217. Saskia said:
GAH! You gotta warn folks when you put Galactica spoilers in posts about boobs! Toaster above better be right...
218. Shannon said:
Oh stop - you are giving me phantom letdown. Enjoy being the cow. So happy for you!
219. Cori said:
Yeah dude, I think Starbuck was more like an angel than a cylon. Definitely supernatural. The 12th cylon was REDACTED.
Breastfeeding was also easier for me the second time around. Unfortunately, I was wearing those damn breast pads until the baby was around six months old.
220. Anonymous said:
You have to get the Lilypads. They are a life saver.
221. Anonymous said:
i haven't 'letdown' in almost 2 years and that photo almost did it for me.
222. Pregnant Sherri said:
Heather,
It's been 5 years since I breastfed. I remember being shocked at the feeling of my blood being turned to pins in my veins. And I remember the Let-down coming at work, at home, at the grocery store...everywhere...and I remember the pads NEVER BEING ENOUGH. I always stained. Always. I had to throw away ALL OF MY SHIRTS...And somehow, I'm looking forward to trying again in just a few more months.
Thanks for being awesome. I love reading! Give John this flower for me ---'--@
!! !!! !!- Just for good measure.
223. Be Like The Squirrel, Girl said:
Dominant boob, yes. My left side never caught up with my right. Now they are permanently lopsided. Do they even make bras with different cup sizes?
I also know the joys of going to the store alone. Awesome!
Unwittingly angering new BSG fans everywhere? Oops. I just finished season 4, fortunately. There were lots of sad baby scenes in that season. Thank god I'm not breastfeeding anymore, between the hormones and random let downs, I wouldn't have been able to endure it.
224. Cori said:
Also, and this is just my $.02... I don't think you can really call it a "spoiler" if the final episode of the series aired months ago.
225. Elizabeth said:
I think driving in the car by myself is one of my favorite past times. Being a mother of four, it's the only time on the planet that I can actually think clearly or sing a Poe song at the top of my lungs. Or both!
226. Trina said:
Yes! The car ride ALONE is absolutely the BEST! I had my very first one only yesterday as my husband had forbidden me to be in the car period since I had a c-section 6 weeks ago...you know with the stitches and all....but my GOD it felt good! "The Reflex" by Duran Duran never felt so good!
227. Natalija said:
As I'm not a mother I (unfortunately) have nothing to say about breastfeeding. HOWEVER, John has been raised fifty coolness points in my book because he watches Battlestar Galactica. The new, awesome one.
And just so he knows--they've got a prequel coming in January (called Caprica) that deals with the creation of the "toaster" versions of Cylons. Because I don't know about him, but I cried when my favourite show on television came to an end. And this prequel looks to be of the same caliber as the show, given the tv-movie they aired.
Oh, and there's also a full-length film (called The Plan) that'll be directed by Edward James Olmos himself.
... I should really stop typing now, shouldn't I? I just replied to your post about breastfeeding with a geeky gush of love for something YOU MENTIONED. How sad.
228. Ashley said:
So glad to hear breastfeeding is going better for you this time. It gives me hope! Breastfeeding my daughter was an absolute nightmare and I stopped at 6 weeks due to a dwindling supply. I was so sad and upset and very hard on myself. I'm scared it will be like that next time (in a few years!)so reading this helps so much.
I remember being absolutely GIDDY when I got to go to the store by myself a few weeks ago. I was literally skipping down the aisle at Trader Joe's!
229. kellidotca said:
Not having kids, i looked at your phone's screenshot and thought.. omg.. she forgot to charge her phone!
Oh.. breast pads.. right..
230. kmbr said:
Time alone in the car is priceless. Something about a sunroof, freedom and loud music even makes me forget I'm driving a minivan. My now 8 and 9 year old babies whine when I play the car stereo loud, they're worse than my parents.
I vividly remember coming home from a "quick" jaunt to the store that went waaay long, when my 2nd baby was a week old. Naturally, my boobs went off in the car during a surprise traffic jam on the way home, and I came home to a pissed off husband who actually hissed "did you remember we have a hungry infant here?"
My shirt, it did not look like I forgot. My boobs: rocks.
The haggard looks of my husband and my father, who had been trying to placate the baby for an hour, were absolutely priceless. Respect: won.
231. Beth said:
What a SWEET picture of that beautiful baby!!!
232. bohica said:
You know how diapers are supposed to be the most expensive thing in a newborn's first few months? Yeah, forget that. For me it was the BREAST PADS! The nurses at the hospital used to joke that I had enough to feed half the nursery. Not much of a joke, really. I honestly, seriously, had to wear ~ get this ~ three at a time on each side. And even then, it leaked through sometimes.
And yeah, I played freaky games in the shower when the hot water hit 'em.
233. Erica said:
aw your background image on your iphone is so precious, but maybe Leta should be on it to prevent any more messes. lol
234. Sadie said:
I had the phantom milk letdown the other day. I was holding my brand new nephew and he started to do that precious little rooting thing. All of a sudden I feel my milk let down, which would have been totally normal, except that I haven't nursed a baby in over 8 months. Weird.
235. Anna said:
I went out for first time to see a movie when I was nursing. I picked the curious case of Benjamin (oh my god this movie I never going to end) button because it was the longest and I have 3 kids under 2. By the time it was over by breasts were the size of melons and that freaky old-man baby made me gush. It was dark in the theater but then I had to take the subway home.
236. Anonymous said:
I've seen a lot of comments regarding Lilypadz - take it from someone with extremely forceful letdown - they don't work for heavy leakers. My letdown would blow those Lilypadz right off and/or the amount of milk could just not be contained in that little lilypad. They are a nice idea, but more of a product useful when the baby is older and nursing less.
Lansinoh Disposable breast pads are the best - I used to go through at least a dozen a day! They were my friends!
237. lisa c. said:
I remember my breasts getting so hard and so full that my nipples would point funny and I could spray milk across the room. The breast pads would get so soaked and I could never sleep bra-less but I loved breast feeding.
238. Nikster said:
Heather. HEATHER.
Why why WHY did I have to read this latest post. I'm sitting here all innocent, reading along, thinking yep Heather is a fantastic writer. Then BAM! "Starbuck's a CYLON."
See, I'm behind on my favorite television show, Battlestar Galactica, and now I'm trying desperately to forget I read this, but it's like When Harry Met Sally: "You can't take it back because it's already out there." Ok, I had numerous thoughts about her being AI, but two words I wish I would have read at the top of the post: spoiler alert.
I know, I'm a complete geek ;D
239. Smartbear said:
I am a regular lurker, but had to comment.
I laughed out loud because I still LOVE those moments on my own in the car...not with Beyonce though! And it's 2 years later.
I never really leaked much and I never "let down" unless I was nursing but I second the person who suggested Lilypads. I wore them religiously because I hated the "nipple maxi pad" look.
Marlo and Leta are beautiful and I love to read your page...
240. Anonymous said:
WHERE CAN I GET THESE LILY PADS???
241. Hope said:
I certainly hope they have developed something better over the last 25 years, but I used to cut up the REAL heavy duty sanitary napkins to use as milk pads. Couldn't wear any tight shirts, but it worked.
242. abelene said:
heather,
you were referenced this morning at an evangelical-based leadership conference. all positive.
didn't know if that feat had been checked off your life list yet. i can picture it right under "Be Number 26."
243. Baji said:
The second time was harder for me b/c the first baby completely destroyed my bosoms. I'm glad you are finding it not only not difficult but actually pleasurable!
Also, it's been said several times above but some folks apparently don't read other comments (or use the find feature) to figure it out, but, yeah, Starbuck is not a cylon so tell jon to shut it! ;) And although she will, sadly, not be featured in the prequel "Caprica," she *is* moving over to "24" so you can get your fix there next year.
244. Libby said:
Aaargh, Battlestar Galataca hasn't finished showing here yet, and I can't un-read that spoiler :(
245. Laura June said:
Aw man, Seriously? I'm half way through the last season of BG. I was avoiding that spoiler so hardcore. Arg.
246. natalie said:
i am nodding my head so hard because i know that car ride....and i know that let down in places you so don't want to let down. i just experienced all that four months ago. that was an awesome car ride. although i did feel like i was missing an appendage....
247. lisa mertins said:
GODS DAMMNIT DOOCE. i'm doing a summer bsg marathon (season 3 ep. 2) and you just fracked it for me. thanks.
248. Lucy's mom said:
I'll be quick. The post was hilarious to anyone who has kids. 13 years ago and I still remember cruising to the grocery store ALONE to Jimi Hendrix' "Cross Town Traffic" and feeling like I could conquer the world...
Your readers are also hilarious, I don't read comments on other blogs as much but your folks are too funny. To the BSG geeks who have shown less than a sense of humor, I don't watch TV but know enough to say that if a series is over and you are watching on TIVO or DVD you have no right to claim spoiler. Jeez.
And 13 years later.... I still love getting out of the house, going to the store and listening Jimi. Who wouldn't?
249. Krissa said:
Oh... I remember that SO well. The feeling of wanting to scream, "Shut that baby up before I drown!", at complete strangers when out without the handy dandy "drain attachment". It's never safe unless you can conveniently plug in. ;-)
250. SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said:
With the cost of nursing pads along with the bras, tops, and other supplies, I questioned the whole claim that breastfeeding is "free"/cheaper than formula.. but no contest though; far better and very worth it! And yes, second time around much easier--I went all the way until little guy weaned himself (would have gone longer) at right about a year. It was a sad day when he "refused" me. *sniffle*
251. Eternally Distracted said:
Some days I read your posts and think oh my god, I wanna have a baby ... days like today I think nope, nope, nope, give me solitary driving and Beyonce anyday!
252. the niffer said:
Shit, you're hilarious.
253. Mikalina said:
I was oh-so-ready to leave a comment to correct the mistaken spoiler about Starbuck being a cylon, but it looks like that's been covered pretty thoroughly. Good work, BSG geeks!
254. corrie said:
I can so relate (and will again in a few months). I just wanted to recommend Lily Padz--silicone pads that actually stop the leakage. They were a lifesaver! They also helped with the "headlights" issue that plagued me the whole time I was nursing!
255. Amanda said:
My daughter is 2 weeks younger than Marlo. Yes to the moo'ing. Yes to the grocery store. But in my sleep-deprived, growth spurt, must consume large amounts of calories state of being I totally missed the Batttlestar reference and thought to myself, "Starbucks has Cyclones now?". I got a little excited thinking about a venti drip and a reese's peanut butter cup cyclone ice cream.
Apparently I really need more coffee.
256. Amanda said:
Dooce, NOOOOO! I know you only put it in there for comedic effect, but I am so sad after reading the BATTLESTAR SPOILER!!!!!! Seriously, please think of your readers who might actually be as nerdy/awesome as you and Jon. I've only seen Season 1. :(
(The all-caps and 5 milli exclamation points are because I'm drunk, but also really genuinely upset.)
257. TraycMM said:
I am going to pretend that I am not discouraged by the fact that there are already 225 comments as I am posting this and there are probably 500 by the time I hit the preview comment button. I Love You. That is all. also my "input format" says... "manuel inhaler" and that makes me crack the "f" up..... just sayin'...
p.s. I twittered or twatted you or whatever the technical term is about my very super easy banana bread recipe... email me if you want it any ol' time...even 10 years from now... srsly...
258. Amanda said:
OK, so I realize maybe you were joking about Starbuck? I am nerdy and vulnerable, what can I say.
259. Beth said:
A DRAGON, Y'ALL! You are too cute for words. Anyway, I used to set up targets in the shower to see if I could get a bullseye when my milk let down. Try it, you'll love it. I felt like those chicks in the Austin Powers movie with the gassing boobs, except, with milk!
260. Kathleen said:
Glad to hear that nursing is easier the second time round, as I thought I was going to pass out and die the first four months of breast feeding. Keep up the good work, I love it when moms actually give breast-feeding a CHANCE and not switch to formula because of the inconvenience of letting down, gushing boobs, and of course, pain. You are a top notch mother in my book, Heather.
261. Mother 2 Mother said:
I was in the ER one night with terrible asthma and my mother was with me. A baby next to my room started crying and my response was "Oh Shit!" My mom said to me, "Well Sara, that's not very nice. I know you want to be seen by the Dr. but its a baby...he should probably been seen first." My response, "No Mom, I didn't say 'oh shit' because I thought I was getting bumped in line...its because now my shirt is soaking wet!"...And it was SOAKING wet! Hail to us MOOOOOOOOOOers!!!!
262. Kim said:
I don't know what is funnier, picturing you hosing the canned goods off the shelves with milk, or the fact that simply reading the word BREASTFEEDING made my milk come down.
263. TigereyeSal said:
Oh, I'm mooing right back atcha. Since my youngest (who is still nursing at bedtime) is now 5, my let down is non-existent anymore, but I've been mooing for a whole lotta years now...
264. Beth said:
I never comment, because there are so many comments and you have enough to do already. But the thing about the car -- so far when I explain the only thing I really miss about being childless is getting in the car, rolling down the windows and blasting the music, I have only got the "um, OK" puzzled look from people. I will now go back and read the rest of your post after that paragraph (that is how excited I was that someone gets the same joy from a 10 minute car ride).
265. Anonymous said:
Yeah, Starbuck isn't a cylon - but she does go through a sort of "what the frak am I" stage until we find out she's an angel.
266. Pre' said:
Wow, I remember the let-down days like they were yesterday, wait! They were yesterday...(not really) my problem was that somehow I would manage to dribble.
Not sure how but the milk would fill up, squirt into the nursing bra then dribble out and down onto my stomach and run free. Nursing pads only helped with the headlight effect, they did nothing for the dribbling problem. (must'v been the shape of them boobs or the fact that I am semi elf sized)
So I'd go off merrily for those few precious hours, wearing a loose t-shirt and jeans, sussing out the fresh fruit, when a baby would squeak and a small waterfall would start to flow as though from no-where leaving a little trail as I walked. Unless I tucked my shirt in, when I would have a little nutritious waist-boda bag forming in front of me. Gross!
My then 5 year old would look and say, "I am NEVER having a baby!" (She also witnessed the breaking of my water as I was simply standing around in the kitchen. After taking in the scene stoically she said the same thing.)
PS Snapes is the Half Blood Prince...
267. Jessica said:
I am amazed at the things you can make me laugh about because normally I am like, oh Jesus just add that to the long list of reasons I do not want to have a kid, but you make it seem, uh, tolerable?
268. bonnieearly said:
Breast pads are your friend. I couldn't live without them until I developed better boob control. It didn't take very much to make me lactate either. All I had to do was bend over and stand up for the milk shower to happen.
Cheers to you for nursing your little bean. The nursing days are tough, but some of the best and most memorable times.
269. Jessica said:
WAIT. WTF #263 still nurses a 5 year old? Who can probably ASK for it? Oh fuck...ew.
270. Christine Chrisman said:
God it's sick, but any excuse to be alone right? I cut off the tip of my finger the first week of my son's life and there I was, walking out of the doctors office with a giant white tube on my index finger, which was throbbing... BUt me? I was SMILING! And I had to call my friend not to talk about the finger, but to say "I'm OUTSIDE!! ALONE!!" ahahhahaha
Today I was in whole paycheck and I could feel the milk dribbling down my ribs! UGH. Of course I had put on a cute bra today, just for fun. Don't you miss cute bra's??? Sigh, back to the old tried and true off white boring boob slings....
271. Christina said:
I'm glad things are going well. What a sweet picture!
The second time was easier for me than the first and so with the third I thought, no problem! WRONG. We got the latch wrong from the start which was uncomfortable at first but quickly escalated to excruciating pain. I kept checking his mouth to see if he had teeth already. I was sure they were little dagger pointed teeth. Of course the doctor blew it off and offered me formula samples. I ended up using a shield for a few weeks and after that we were good to go. For 2 and a half years. thud
272. Jessica Fuchs said:
OMG, I know exactly what you mean... I just finished breastfeeding & have moooooved onward to formula [couldn't resist] at this point. Jack-jack would do it anytime too...
273. Nancy said:
I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt... because OMG can I relate!!! (I have two kids, both breastfed). Awesome post :)
274. Zina said:
My baby's 5 months old, and trips to the grocery store by myself are still thrilling.
Although you've already closed comments (at *only* around 1300 comments) I wanted to say that my delivery with my third baby was very much like Marlo's -- we got her rotated from posterior by my surviving a few horrendous contractions in a crouch on the bed, her shoulders were worse to deliver than her head, I cringed for weeks afterwards at the memory of the pain of pushing her out, and I had a huge high once she was born.
Sigh. It almost makes me want to try natural childbirth one more time.
275. Brooke said:
i don't have kids yet, and generally hate going to the grocery store. if that is what i have to look forward to...maybe i'll stay kidless. you are hilarious!
276. Mandy said:
snap! snap! I've lurked around dooce for a number of years and have only been compelled to comment in the last few months...there are just so many parallels! I had an afternoon shop at the market just today in beautiful sunshine and it was so exhilarating without my 3 month and 5 year old. You are just so right! I could almost squeal with joy getting into the care by myself, although I was a granny today as I cranked up the classical music. I also had a full on let down in a crowded cafe. Why? Because I thought 'shit I forgot to put my breastpads in!'
I wish I stayed with Battlestar Galactica...
277. Lisa said:
Four kids. Never could figure out the mystery that was my milk letting down until with baby number four I noticed it happened not only when she cried, but also when she was hungry, or simply thinking of nursing, before she even made a sound. It's like my boobs and the baby have this telepathic bond. Or maybe the baby puts off 'hungry' pheromones, I don't know, but I like the boobs with ESP explanation better.
278. Anonymous said:
Aw man. Now all you have to do is tell me how the Twilight series ends....jeez.
279. buy steroids said:
So glad to see you are enjoying Marlo! Love reading every post!
;)
280. The Dalai Mama said:
absolutely hilarious!!!
281. Vee said:
Thanks for the BOOBS post. Breastfeeding is just about the only subject I'm interested in lately. My daughter is 2 months old, and I already feel I could write a book about the bf experience but it's hard to find people who want to hear about nipple shields and hindmilk. I rarely update my facebook status anymore because I don't really think my dissertation outside reader wants to know that "Vee is engorged" etc. I even wonder if my blog (www.thedailybetty.blogspot.com) has grown tedious (and it's a blog devoted to the baby, so you -know- I have a one-track mind if the baby blog talks too much about the bf). If anyone out there is interested in the subject and wants to hear some hilarious, sad, and everything in between essays I recommend the new essay collection Unbuttoned. It's so nice to hear about the difficult side of breastfeeding, especially when you read over and over in the manuals that "breastfeeding shouldn't hurt" with the implication that if it does you're doing it wrong. No, ladies, it hurts (for many many people). Am I rambling? Probably.
Oh, and re: the spoiler. I've seen the show already and don't care myself, but I do hate spoilers and I gotta say Dooce, this is one of the rare moments when you've been totally uncool. Yikes.
282. Angela said:
If Jon was any kind of man he would have prefaced his statement about Starbuck with a spoiler alert. I'm still watching season 3!!
But while we're on the subject of sci-fi...do either of you have strong (or otherwise) opinions on Babylon 5? I was toying with starting it next. If it's worth it.
283. trish said:
I am choosing to believe that "Starbuck is a Cylon" was sort of a generalized, random thing somebody might make up to say about a show that involves Cylons and a character named Starbuck, and not necessarily true, because the idea that the last season was spoiled for me for no good reason while reading a post about breastfeeding is just too, too lame.
284. Plano Mom said:
Oh the memories. Thanks for the laugh. My boobs haven't produced in 10 years, but they still get that "let down" feeling every time I hear a baby cry.
285. Allison said:
So. Breastfeeding. It's good to know BFing is easier the second time around. And isn't that, like, your super power? Able to spray foes with breastmilk at the first sign of a baby? At least you've buffered the quanitity of saying vagina by using "boobs" a lot.
286. Dani said:
You got my boobs started with that picture, and I stopped Breastfeeding 9 months ago!
287. Anonymous said:
Awesome phone picture? Wait, don't you have another kid? Oh, that's right, the ugly screaming frog baby that made mommy go crazy doesn't count anymore, only magical gloworm marlo. God, I feel so sorry for Leta.
288. Brooke said:
She's precious! And, you're too funny. I love the new masthead with the cows :)
289. Sarah @ Oakbriar Farm said:
Oh, you made me laugh!
And you made me remember... I really had a great breastfeeding experience with my daughter, but I forgot about all the pesky things like SPRAYING LEAKS! Glad you posted this before I start nursing my second baby in a few months! Gotta get some breast pads!
290. ben said:
congratulation
thank you
291. Elinda said:
I was at the grocery store a few months after my son was born. An employee of the store who was mopping kept pointing at me and trying to get her point across. She couldn't speak English very well, but I understood "leaking" and "milk." I was kind of irritated with not understanding her, so I kept on pushing my cart down the aisle, horrified that she was pointing out my lactating breasts. Then I realized I had a trail of milk leaking from the gallon under my cart....
292. mirela said:
Awww, that's all I can say about your phone photo :)
293. Colleen said:
ahh leaky boobs, nothing is sexier when trying to make out with your husband.....
294. E! said:
Heehee, oh man, if I were Jon (and Jon was incredibly and terribly mean), I would record the sound of Marlo crying, steal your iphone and make that sound your ringtone.
But that is REALLY mean, and I don't wish that upon you. But the concept appears funny. :-)
295. Renee said:
Isn't being in a car alone euphoric?
My husband and I have argued a couple of times about this. Even though he has to drive a couple of extra miles to the baby sitter because it is out of his way to work, I just want him to take Moanna to the baby sitter sometimes. I KNOW IT'S NOT PRACTICAL, but I just want to be in the car alone. ALONE. I want to get in the car, and turn on the radio and drive to work without Moanna screaming because "Boom Boom Pow" isn't on the radio, without having to tell the sitter what she has had to eat and when she last pooped. It's just a little bit of freedom that I need to keep from wanting to sell my family to the circus.
296. Zoe Rights said:
My youngest is 14 and I still get excited when I get to be in the car by myself or run an errand by myself.
I love the spawn with all my might but sometimes it's nice to be alone plus the produce guy checks me out when I'm not trailed by the almost adults and I don't get that ...and how old are you exactly look.
297. lilchunchy. said:
Thanks, just reading this made my baby wake... It is like a sixth sense or maybe a love triangle. Mumma, bubba and boobie.
Sometimes I find myself talking to my boobs 'no dont call out to her no no no you will NOT call her, think of something else think of something else, I am in control... oh you had to do it! Thanks boobie 1'
Oh and I am totally with you about being in the car alone. That is just the best feeling.
Love your work Heather.
298. katie said:
awesome post, especially considering this week was national breastfeeding awareness week! yeehaw!
299. Julz said:
STARBUCK IS A CYLON?????
300. ramblin' red said:
From one breastfeeding Heather to another, this was a sweet post, and completely relate-able as my son is 3 1/2 mos old and exclusively being nursed. I too have missed the bedtime routines with the older two kiddos b/c of baby, and jump at the opportunity to drive without kids. I've actually had the following convo with the hubs: "We're out of milk? Oh, let me go!" Dork.