I think this means that whatever we're doing is working
In an effort to allow Jon and me the time needed to get ourselves and the baby packed for our whirlwind trip to Los Angeles, our assistant Katey asked if she could come pick up Leta on Sunday morning and take her to brunch for a couple of hours. And this is one of probably hundreds of reasons why we hired Katey, that she has the ability to sense what we're going to need before we need it, and before I could even remind her about Leta's picky palate, she was all, Heather, how long have I known this child? There will be plenty of brown and beige things on the menu.
And yes, she would monitor the mustard and ketchup and make sure that never the twain shall meet. And then we both simultaneously groaned.
All I had to do was get her dressed and ready for the pick-up, but I made sure that the path to that final destination was laden with metric tons of coffee. Because sometimes, you never know which morning it's going to be, but it takes an act of congress to get that kid dressed. She just gets distracted by other things, and if I'm not on top of her she'll wander back into the room and go, "Now, remind me... why did you have me go to my room?" OH I DON'T KNOW, SO THAT YOU COULD COME BACK IN HERE AND PHRASE THAT QUESTION LIKE A DEFENSE ATTORNEY.
Quick aside: we recently bought some furniture for our back patio for the sole purpose of spending our summer evenings out there as a family: the dogs running in the yard, Leta and Jon playing "princess and guard" around her swing set, and me in a chair feeding Marlo. One night after dinner I turned to Jon and said, "Shall we go outside and enjoy the evening?" And since then Leta has repeated some form of that question to us before we even take the first bite of dinner: are we going outside to enjoy the evening? Mom? MOM? We're going outside to enjoy the evening, right? TELL ME WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE TO ENJOY THE EVENING?! To the point that both Jon and I are all OH MY GOD SHUT UP WE ARE GOING OUTSIDE TO ENJOY THE EVENING.
And holy grape nuts, if we don't get out there and enjoy the shit out of the evening.
Before you send me email to alert me to the fact that "getting distracted by other things" is clearly an indication that Leta has ADD, let me assure you that you have clearly jutted your nose into the wrong end of my business. Leta sometimes concentrates too much on things, and when her friends jump from one activity to another with too much speed she has been known to stomp her foot and whine that so-and-so won't keep to the task at hand. And we're all, yeah, because so-and-so is five-years-old, and Leta is all, THAT IS NO EXCUSE.
It's just, she's so much like her father, The Absent-Minded Professor, that sometimes in the middle of basic everyday activities, like putting her clothes on, she remembers a thought she was having yesterday about something else, and that thought leads to another activity ENTIRELY UNRELATED TO PUTTING HER CLOTHES ON, and when I come into the room she's got her shirt off, her pants on, and she's sitting there having the blonde Barbie apologize to the brunette Barbie about some argument they were having yesterday. And when she looks up to see me there with my hand on my hip, my foot angrily tapping the floor, she's all, I know, I know, give me one second, the brunette Barbie has to think about it.
Anyway, I finally get her dressed and she and Katey head out to brunch with Katey's baby and boyfriend. Jon and I putter around for a couple hours until they return, and when they get back Katey pulls me aside, and has she ever got one to share with me... turns out there was a twenty-minute wait at the restaurant, so she had her boyfriend hold their place in line while she took Leta and the baby back to the car. She wanted to breastfeed during the wait, so she sat in the driver's seat of the parked car and had Leta sit in the front-side passenger seat. She's sitting there feeding the baby and can tell that Leta is really uncomfortable when Leta says with more than a little trepidation, "Katey... umm... I'm not allowed to sit in the front seat of the car."
Katey assures her that it's okay, the car is parked, they aren't going anywhere, they're there so that the baby can get her meal in privacy. A few silent seconds pass and Leta goes, "Promise me you won't tell my mom I did this."
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
1. Heather's Garden said:
I'm going to start referring to late day outdoor activities as "going outside to enjoy the evening," but I think I need an audio file so I can get the accent right!
2. Stephanie said:
To my daughter, Eva, getting dressed in the morning means emptying the entire contents of her dresser when I'm not looking.
It's awesome.
3. JL said:
When can we start cloning Katey?
4. Parsing Nonsense said:
Awww, secret keeping fail!
If your daughter turns out anything like my husband when she's older, being absentminded and all, then she'll no doubt turn into an incredibly creative thinker who can come up with ingenious solutions to problems four hours after they're needed.
5. Lesley said:
Leta sounds like a highly intelligent delightful kid. I hope the forces of our, at times, highly insane corporate driven society never make her feel bad about or obligated to compromise her creative personality. (And when I say crazy, I mean the forces that work to create the people who attend those town halls in America. The ones carrying semis and posters with Heil Hitler moustaches on Obama. Those highly creative personalities.)
6. mpt said:
I SO have a Jon and a Leta. ADD my ass.
7. Finch said:
When I was three years old, my aunt accidentally locked me in the car with the keys. I was told never to leave my carseat and not to unlock the doors.
The police came. Candy was promised, but still - "My mom told me to stay in my carseat."
My aunt tried, bribed, and eventually someone had the sense to get a coat hanger and jimmy the lock. I was freed and immediately:
"So where are those twizzlers I was promised? Also, you're going to tell my mom I didn't get out of the car seat, right?"
8. Suzanne said:
This was hilarious! I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and we have many of the repeat conversations "We are going to (insert activity here), right?", "Soon we will be (insert activity here), Ok mom?". We also have those moments when we want to turn and say "YES, BUT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY!" Loved the post!
9. Daddy Scratches said:
We have a sitter come play with the kids two days a week while my wife is out of the house at work. I work from home ... which is how I heard my 4-year-old daughter recently say to the babysitter "Can I have a fudgesicle? And please don't tell my mommy."
I had to swoop in and leave her with the impression that Mommy and Daddy can hear *everything* and will always know when she is trying to hide something from us.
Sounds like I'm in for more trouble than you are.
10. brandy said:
Well I guess she'll never agree to ride in the trunk of a car with a boy to a bush party...not that I've ever done such a thing!
11. Cheryl Arkison said:
I suppose it's better than your daughter repeating your exclamations about the friggen' god-damn stupid dog that shit on her bed again, every single time the the dog walks in her room or shits where she is actually supposed to in the dog run outside.
12. Kristy Merrill said:
Priceless. My daughter (3) actually said "I have to ask my mom first." When offered ice cream the other day. WHAT? What happened to the little girl that sneaks into the fridge at home?
13. Charity said:
I thought I was #1, oh well. That is funny. I have a child like that also who would be so mortified if I allowed them to sit in the front seat while the car was stopped. I love this child for always making sure that his brothers and sister follow all rules to the T, and me also, he will tell me when my driving is not how it should be. Thank goodness for thos special kids.
14. Sarah said:
The ADD comment makes me think of this classic Onion article, http://www.theonion.com/content/news/more_u_s_children_being_diagnosed
15. Heather said:
do you know how often i get stared at like i'm going to drive off with my nursing baby attached and feeding when i do that?
16. Con said:
I was that kid, half dressed, playing with Barbies (or DAWN dolls, if I really want to date myself.) You'll be happy to know I sometimes now get all the way dressed without picking up a book. Unfortunately I get distracted by BLOGS when I am supposed to be working....
17. Tabitha (From Single to Married) said:
What a great story - I love that little Leta!!
18. Jen said:
My niece is three and has moments like Let's. Last weekend I visited her and her brother and the plan was to go see the town's parade. She asked me ten times if I was really coming with her to the parade?
"Yes, kiddo, I'm coming."
Not 5 minutes later, she'd ask again, "Are you really coming? You're coming, right!?"
Silly kids.
-Jen
p.s. the verification thingie down below has "penis watcher." I am amused.
19. Jennifer said:
Gotta love the rule followers! As one myself who is raising one (not necessarily on purpose) I can totally understand where Leta is coming from. As far as ADD - I always said it's part of the job description of little kids' brains to jump around. Not that ADD doesn't exist.
20. Grizzly Kitteh said:
That's freaking adorable! I love how her first thought was to secure secrecy from Mommy too :D
21. Marisa said:
So awesome! I was rather particular about seat belts as a child. I had a friend who was the same way. Her parents always told her she had to wear her seatbelt because they loved her. One day, they were not being diligent about enforcing the seatbelt thing, and she started crying, "you don't love me!" Kids!
22. Marisa @ where's the party? said:
Where do I get a Katey? I seriously need one. Wish Katey's were as easily available and going to the nearest Target.
23. Anonymous said:
I need an assistant!
24. Julianne said:
That is adorable!
25. Becky said:
I ditto what Tabitha said at No. 17. Leta, like your writing, is a joy.
26. Brutalism said:
Leta should have her own blog.
27. Brooke said:
That description of Leta is EXACTLY my fiance. Except he is 27, not 5. Too much concentration to no concentration. Nothing in between. Ever.
Him: "Do you want water?" Me: "Sure" Him: (Goes upstairs to get it, comes back downstairs with nothing.) Me: "Where's the water?" Him: "Oh, I checked my e-mail instead..."
28. Amanda said:
And so it begins....
Fasten your seatbelt, the teen years are approaching at lightening speed!
29. Leoneli said:
Your Leta is such a smart kid and I think what she's going through is quite normal her age. I said that based on my experience with my two sons whom I thought were having amnesia because whatever I ask them to do, they'd forget. But now I wonder if they were doing it intentionally.
30. Beth said:
I couldn't help but notice that as Leta goes off and gets distracted while getting dressed, her mom gets distracted and goes off on tangents in her posts (i.e. your "quick aside" today). And I love those tangents.
31. Angela said:
All I can say is AWESOME! Leta is pretty freaking cool - but I'm certain you and Jon already know that :)
32. Lori W said:
No Heather it is NOT called ADD, she has Bored Genius Syndrome.
33. Kate said:
Definitely doing something right. Or at least I think that's what Dr. Laura would say? Maybe that's not awesome then?
Regardless, I'm sure there's no one out there more suited to navigate the many minefields of raising such a unique kid. Katy sounds great. Good luck on the tour!
34. Andrea said:
Seriously, what Leta does is not a sign of ADD. It's a sign/symptom of BEING FIVE. What 5-year-old doesn't get distracted every second of every day? Jesus, do people really email you trying to give random diagnoses to your daughter...a child they don't even know? When did the general public receive a collective degree in behavioral health?
35. Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said:
I want an assistant like Katey. Would she agree to cloning?
Leta is hysterical. lol
36. elie said:
I love it. I can't wait till my kid reaches that age.
37. Ashley said:
Ah, Leta is too funny!
She reminds me of my cousin Kami. Anything Kami doesn't want to do, she says "No, I'm too little for that."
"Kami, you want to swim in the lake?" "No, I'm too little for that."
"Kami, do you want vegetables?" "No, I'm too little, remember?"
38. MarriageConfessions.com said:
Haha... "Holy grape nuts". thats great!
39. Kristan said:
HAHAHA too cute! (Totally typed "coo tute" at first...)
And hey, if anyone gives you shit about how you are raising Leta, you can let them know that my mom drove with me in her lap outside the seatbelt when I was a baby. ALL THE TIME. And I turned out just fine, typos aside.
40. Restless Mama said:
Thank you for reminding me about coffee. I was wondering why I wasn't functioning - I too need huge amounts of jolting caffeine to get me from a to b...especially when I'm up all night with a teething baby.
And yes, sounds like you're doing the right stuff.
41. Kate said:
That's no excuse AND don't they know she can read?
And I'm going to enjoy the hell out of my evenings from now on.
p.s. With a recaptcha including sanitationmen, I may have to enjoy the shit out of my evenings instead.
42. NaysWay said:
I swear I love that kid.
43. maggie may said:
It's so true how if a kid shows the slightest inclination these days toward being ... a kid... then everyone's all 'oooo he can't pay attention! ADD!! '
getting my daughter Lola dressed was such a hassle i made it so she picked her own outfit out and although she looks a lot like Punky Brewster at times, she gets dressed much quicker. we started that at 3!
and! i had the exact same thing happen with my daughter Lola, except it was with Grandma Mary, who drove down the street with L in front- that the promise was extracted from. ( and then broken ) snort.
44. Holly said:
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only with a child who drags the dressing routine out to epic lengths. And congratulations on having a child that lives in a bit of fear of you even when you're not around. Sometimes I think I could be waiving a gun around and my son would still laugh and keep right on dancing on the furniture.
45. Nel said:
Leta sounds like the most awesome child ever! "Promise you won't tell me mom I did this." Priceless!
p.s. - Katey sounds awesome.
46. Ray said:
That little girl of yours is AWESOME!! =D Just too cute. I don't know you in person, but what I read from your entries, "She's just like you!" ;o)
47. Anonymous said:
@LoriW #36 -- you are SO SO right! Bored Genius it is!
Heather, you're bang on -- as the parent of a gifted kid (tested and everything, so anybody who thinks I'm an overproud mom can suck it) -- ADD and giftedness present very much the same at this age --
Stick to your guns -- you have a seriously intelligent kid (which is its own roller-coaster ride) -- so don't sweat the attention span. You know the difference, so don't let anybody tell you different.
They have the attention span of a flea on stuff they've already figured out...but man, try to tear them away from stuff they're interested in.
www.hoagiesgifted.com-- a great resource for parents of really smart kids.
48. Susan said:
When my husband and I were first married we lived in a little starter home with an equally little but well loved yard. When we went outside in the evenings we called it "touring the estate."
49. Carrie said:
Sometimes Leta reminds me so much of my 5-year-old, Nutmeg. The way she will get distracted by a million things getting dressed -- mainly books she comes across in her room -- yet when she is reading or doing something on her own, wresting her attention away from that task is impossible.
50. Katherine SOLO dot MOM said:
She is too cute... to say the least.
How do you keep up with her wit!?
Your entries about her and your world are just great.
Keep up the good work... and yes I know you will.
51. Shelly said:
Once I was watching my then 3 year old cousin (she's 4 almost 5 now) and she was potty training, she said she had to go so I put her on the potty and was standing there and she said
"Cousin Shelly..I need some privacy"
Ok Kid, got it loud and clear I went and stood in the hall and waited for her to call for me..
Silly kids.
52. Erica said:
That is awesome! So sweet.
53. Kristi said:
Leta just gets more and more fun.
54. missy. said:
hilarious. i love how smart she is and the things she says. thanks for sharing :) have fun in LA!
55. Meagan G said:
#1 your children are probably the most beautiful I have ever seen.. aside from my own that is LOL..
#2 Leta.. I just love her.. seriously.. how do you stand it!?!? She is amazing!
56. Savanah said:
HA! :)
57. April said:
Agreeing with #47. As a kid I was put in "gifted programs" and later in life my oscillation between being engrossed in something (where time stands still) and hopping around from one project to the next made me consider adult ADD as a possibility. But the more I looked at the "symptoms" of being right-brained, the more I thought, this isn't a so-called disorder, it's a strength. Good luck to you guys and Leta, she sounds like an amazingly gifted (and hilarious) kid.
58. Livia said:
Holy grape nuts! Great post!
59. Kim said:
Hilarious. Absolutely perfect.
60. Hannah said:
Just too damned precious!
61. Quinn Cummings said:
No, it's not ADD. It's year you have to slog through. We who are on the other side of the vague year commend ourselves for never saying to our children what was the only thing we could think. Namely, "Dude, are you high?" Because this much distractedness is usually preceded by the wet sound of a bong in action.
62. No Babies Yet said:
At first, I thought Katey went back to the car with Leta to breastfeed Marlo... and I thought "damn, that IS a great sitter." Hahahaha.
63. Kari said:
Hahaha. That's so cute.
64. beth aka confusedhomemaker said:
Leta is a smart cookie, she knows that the front seat is off limits. My kids are the SAME way about the front seat when they could be in it. Of course when I don't want them anywhere near it, like when I'm trying to get everyone in the van & we are already an hour behind schedule, then they ALL want to check it out. I can also relate to the no touching thing & the absent minded professor thing. I was that kid, I am still in a lot of ways like that as an adult. Sometimes you just don't want things all mixed up. Although I must admit the "absented minded" thing got easier when I entered academia & started writing more; being in academia or being "creative" (whatever that means) makes it easier to pull off the whole "absented minded" thing. No one thinks twice about it. Plus, when your 5 having Barbie say sorry really matters.
65. Lee said:
I absolutely, positively do not want to diagnose your child with anything, I think that people jump to premature conclusions about that kind of thing way too quickly.
But just as a point of information for anyone else reading this blog, people with ADD actually have the ability to hyperfocus under pressure, which is often why they leave things to the last minute. Or to focus intensely on one thing to the exclusion of all other things, which is why I was able to read a book on a bus full of noisy kids, but frequently missed my bus stop because I didn't notice we'd stopped at my house. "Driven to Distraction" is a good book on the topic.
Again, it's ludacrious for people to diagnose 5-year-olds with ADD based on blog entries, and in no way is my comment supposed to imply that Leta has ADD.
66. Dayna said:
That is awesome! I can't stop laughing. I can only imagine the completely serious look she probably had on her little face when she said it.
67. Sara said:
I love it. My mom says I used to do the same thing when she sent me anywhere in the house to do anything. I would be gone a few minutes, only to come back and have to ask what I was sent off to do. It's obviously an early sign of her genius.
68. Cassie said:
My boss just asked me why i was smiling. I was tempted to tell him the truth...
69. Sue said:
now THAT is funny. "promise you won't tell" ~ made me laugh and I hope it is not portend of things to come... ;)
70. Anonymous said:
We had a very small kitchen in the house where I grew up. As I sat directly in front of the fridge, I'd have to get up every now and then during a meal to get something out. From the time that the request left my mom's or dad's lips to the time when I opened the fridge door, I'd forget what they had wanted. Like, every single time.
Ooh, shiny things...
71. Mental Momma said:
Enjoy it while it lasts, probably not the last time she'll use that phrase!
72. Anne said:
That is too hilarious. :) Leta is seriously one of the most serious and funny five year olds I have read about. :) My nephew is about to turn four years old and I can get out of him rambling about Star Wars or seriously Auntie Anne, stop calling me a baby since I'm not a baby.
Ahhh kids. :)
73. Margaret B said:
HEATHER - I know you closed comments on the Daily Chuck - but Marlo is still in NB?? My son was born days after her and he's currently sporting a 3-6 month onesie! I have a freakishly large child. And I'm jealous that she's still so little! And Leta, as always, totally adorable and wonderful.
74. Anonymous said:
Judging by the way you structured this blog post, I'm pretty sure Leta gets it from you, Heather. ;)
75. William said:
I cannot believe Katey broke Leta's confidence like that.
76. Taylee said:
I wish Leta had a camera following her around all the time so we could see all the moments of Absent-Minded Professor.
77. Mari said:
Ha ha ha! That made my day!
78. Anonymous said:
Leta's good shit.
79. Mrs Sitcom said:
Oh my gosh - I LOOOOOOVE how literal kids are. Of course I can't think of any right now but I used to have tons of stories like that from babysitting. Hilarious.
80. Swedish Pankakes said:
Can you not wait until Marlo and Leta can entertain one another??
81. Kristina said:
You wish you'd had my brother and I as kids, oh wait no, because we would have races to see who could put their clothes on the fastest. Not correct-est, the fastest. We always looked like we'd been thrown into (or out of, really) our closets during a tornado, not to mention all the ripped off buttons and seams or snagged zippers, etc. All Kriss-krossed out, yo! Only we always wore velcro shoes, because tying shoelaces took too long. And I then I go and wonder why 7th grade was the hardest year of my life.
82. Shaunna said:
That is so sweet! What a cutie!
83. Marissa said:
Of course Leta doesn't have ADD, it's called being a kid!! I send my 8 yr old son into his room to get dressed with specific instructions about what to wear and to put his dirty clothes/PJs into the hamper and about half the time he still comes out without his socks or leaves the dirty clothes in a pile on the floor.
The best was last week when he took a shower after baseball practice and put his dirty clothes back on!!! I thought my head was going to explode.
On the other hand he is very excited for the arrival of his baby sister (expected next week) and says he is going to love her and treat her with respect and make sure everyone else does too, because he's her big brother and that's his job. I think we'll keep him.
84. DeAnna said:
Don't let Leta fool you Katey! My niece used to do that to me. I'd keep her 'chocolate' secret then she'd throw me under the bus when she was having quiet time with her mom.
Yeah, ADD my ass - she's completely normal.
85. Pantraya said:
I knew I liked your blog for a reason!!! Today I read it at work and was holding in my laughter, as to not seem like I was reading a blog when I should be working. And teardrops rolled down my cheeks because I was laughing so hard on the inside. The blonde barbie and the brunette barbie? Whooo! That's so funny!
86. Sheelah said:
I'd just like to reiterate #26. Can Leta PLEASE get her own blog?
Captcha: wanton Rico...MEOW!
87. Christina said:
Leta is too funny for words!!!! Childrens honesty is the best thing ever.
88. Leigh Anne said:
i totally LOLed!
89. Josh said:
Mom tells me stories about being petrified of going to daycare and was afraid of sending me there due to my near violent reactions of not wanting to go.
She finally tracked it down to arts and crafts and their use of scissors. I 'forbidden' to use scissors at home and I was afraid i would get in BIG trouble if I was caught.
My mom got a chuckle and we had a long discussion about good scissors and bad scissors - which ones were hers and which ones were mine.
90. Kara said:
It's one thing when they obey you when you're there. It's a completely more awesome different thing when they do what you say when you're NOT there! Good job training that one!
91. Tess said:
Heather...you kill me...I love your posts...Leta and Marlo are so lucky to have you as a mom...can I move out and live next to you and John...we have two great dogs and my hubby is a web designer...let me know!!! LOL
92. PB Rippey/sleepless mama said:
Leta is a sharp little cookie. Obviously--no matter what she's focused on here and there--she's listening!
93. Mrs. Wilson said:
That is so awesome. Leta sounds like my daughter in a lot of ways - she gets completely distracted by other things and I have to constantly remind her of what she was supposed to do - but also not at all ADD-like. She's also all about the rules. Except when she's with my mother.
94. Michelle said:
I love how kids take rules, like no front seat. I remember when I thought my dad was "drinking and driving" when he would drink iced tea while driving....
95. Jenn Eats Nutritiously Now said:
That is such a cute story. I love it!
96. Anonymous said:
My Husband is like a total genius- an engineer and the smartest man I've ever known...but if I ask him to take out the kitchen trash, I usually just shout to him from th other room a few seconds later "You were taking out the trash," because I know he will have forgotten what he went in there for by the time he gets there...and he usually responds "oh yeah, Thanks!"
This is a guy who once actually got in the car without shoes when we were leaving the house...I looked down and then up at his face with a puzzled look on my face thinking "Is he kidding? Is he playing a trick on me? Oh...no, when I pointed it out he just quickly say "Oh, yeah, thanks" and runs back in the house as if I had just pointed out that he'd forgotten his keys or tickets to the show, not HIS SHOES!!!!
It's frustrating at times - but I just think he is busy solving pi and his brain can't be bothered with the trivial realities of life.
97. d3 voiceworks said:
just another thing to add to the talk-to-dr-phil-about-this list
our 5 yo is the same way, so sending her to parochial school is really all about the uniform, god be damned. oh, that didn't sound nice.
98. elismsue said:
LOL reminds me of the old Art Linkletter show..."Kids Say The Darnest Things" segment. Out of the mouths of babes!
Yes, I am old enough to remember that show and also old enough to have difficulty controlling my bladder when I laugh! Darn you!
Sue
99. red said:
Leta is so perfectly hilarious. I would love to take her to brunch.
100. Tanya said:
LMAO!! I love Leta, she truly is the greatest example of childhood reality. Everything is literal, and her sense of humor is so fun. She is the best, great job Heather!
101. Tracylea said:
And the conspiring starts...
102. mk said:
OMG, sweet girl.
103. K*OS! (Keep On S'myelin!) said:
Gah, I'm getting frustrated just thinking of watching how long it takes my son to get dressed in the morning.
I should write and record a song called "Get Dressed, NOW!" in the tune to his favourite song of the moment...which would be Boom, Boom, Pow by the Black Eyed Peas.
Actually, that might have a nice ring to it..."Get Dressed NOW! You're slackin's jackin' my style....".
Anyway, after saying that, it's nice to know that our children do listen even when we don't think they are. I'm sure my son would have said something about sitting in the front seat too.
Cheers!
104. Rebecca said:
Thank you so much for that post. I will remember that next week when school starts back up and I have to remind myself each morning during that stressful get-everybody-up-and-out-of-the-house-time not to throttle my six year old who cannot complete any task without being reminded of the task at least ten times. I am learning patience. Or at least trying.
105. Nat W. said:
That kid is so...precocious.
106. Diana said:
Do you have a rule follower or what?
It reminds me of when my husband and I took our 2 year old to the ER at midnight several months ago because she was having a hard time breathing. There we are on a Sunday night at midnight, stopped at the red light. I told my husband to run it as, I don't know, our daughter wasn't BREATHING. He said, "I can't; we're not supposed to run red lights".
She'll be a rockstar for you in high school.
107. Anonymous said:
OMFG! K*OS, if you ever, ever write that song, please post it on YouTube where the rest of us can find it. And memorize it -- just so we can sing it in front of their friends and traumatize them for life.
108. Erin said:
this is funny shit. that kid is an old soul.
109. Emily said:
Leta is so going to be mad at you in 10 years. She sounds so awesome. As does Katey.
110. Bridget said:
I never comment. Sometimes read. Laugh every time. But people really will write you to tell you that your kid has ADD just from reading your blog? How strange. And you actually read all these comments sent in to you? That is a lot of work. I guess without the comments. What do you have? You just talking to yourself on the computer.
111. Daniel said:
I am certainly not going to stick my nose in the wrong end of your business and tell you your daughter has ADD. I just want to clear one thing up. I have ADHD so does my wife and our son (it's genetic). ADHD isn't just about distraction, the other side of it is sometimes having difficulty switching concentration from one thing to another. It's called hyperfocus. We tend to get sort of obsessed with things that interest us.
112. Kaci said:
Is it terrible that I anxiously await for dooce to pop up on my Google Reader with a new post?!?! Ha ha! Your blog makes my day and this story was exactly why! LOVE IT!!
Keep it up and tell Leta she is hilariously awesome!
113. Deva said:
Leta is such a sweet, awesome, intelligent kid, and I think she will always be awesome, intelligent, and insightful. :-)
114. The imPerfect Housewife said:
Sounds like Leta will be a perfect mom some day! If I stayed on task longer than 2 minutes to do anything, I'd feel like I was forgetting something. Sounds like she has an active mind - better than a dud if you ask me! Too funny ~
115. Cindy said:
"Before you send me email to alert me to the fact that 'getting distracted by other things' is clearly an indication that Leta has ADD,"
That would be ADD in me, the 38 year old. In Leta it's being 5.
116. Kelsey said:
This story is hilarious! Leta reminds me of myself when I was younger. I was able to read from a young age, also like her, but when I found out you're only taught to read in grade 1 I thought I wasn't allowed to read. So from the day I started kindergarten, I would only read in secret and if my mom ever caught me reading, I'd act as if nothing happened.
When I finally started grade 1, I had gone through all of the assigned readers in two weeks. My teacher called my mom thinking I was some sort of prodigy, and my mom was like, "SHE'S BEEN ABLE TO READ THE WHOLE TIME. SHE'S JUST NEUROTIC."
P.S. Are you going to do the newsletters for Marlo/Leta? I miss that format!
117. Carrie said:
Leta is a stitch! It would love in 10 - 15 years (or maybe even now!) to read Leta's blog about her mother... The other side of the story ;).
On another note, I'm so happy you have a good nanny/baby sitter! Let me tell you, they are HARD to find. Ironically?, I just blogged on my own perils in this area. We are on our fourth one in three weeks and we have not fired a single one of them. Two of them quit before they started... Think we just found a good one though. Her name happens to be Katie.
118. Lori L said:
I can so relate to you in so many ways, my son is 4 ½ and I have an 8 week old son.
I found your blog after watching Oprah in early August, it came at a good time because I was feeling the postpartum depression, was not feeling human, dreading my anticipated return to work in 2 weeks, my Boobs were throbbing and I needed a laugh. You have provided me that; I have since ordered both of your books… Guess what? I read them while I’m pumping milk at work in the men’s bathroom because there is no other place for privacy during my 30 minute lunch break. So your humor in your books has helped me get through the day. Thanks for your posts, Congrats on Marlo! Good Luck on Dr. Phil.
119. Robin said:
I was at the Dr. Phil taping yesterday! My 19 year old daughter (who loves reading Dooce.com and turned me on to it years ago) is the one who got us the tickets and we brought my mother along too. I got to sit "in the pit" on the Working Moms side. It was a blast! We met Heather at her book signing in Hollywood several months ago. We were looking forward to meeting Jon and Marlo this time too but we had to leave right after the taping. Too bad, so sad :-(
120. Anonymous said:
My own rule following story....my little guy didn't know he could get out of his bed for about four months. He was so used to someone getting him out of his crib, that he didn't know it was up to him to get out himself. Those were the best four months EVER. When he woke up from sleeping, he would lay there and call for us, but never got up, until the one day we didn't want to get up to get him, so my husband hollered "come on out here buddy." It was like a whole new world opened up.
And about the ADD--your daughter sounds like most 3-6 year olds I know. So if she has ADD, all kids do. Wait, that's what the pharmaceutical industry thinks also....hmm....
121. Kath said:
My sister's kids used to tell me secrets, the deal was that I would listen to the secret and then if I thought it had to be told I would back them up. Of course, they were a bit older then, when they were little, I always told. Now we're at the cottage with the kids of those kids ... it's wonderful!
122. Anonymous said:
And then Mom tells the world that Leta sat in the front seat...I hope she doesn't read this blog!
123. Sarah Pond said:
Heather,
Why did Katey have to breastfeed her baby in a parked car? In Canada, where I live, it is the law that a mother may feed her baby (by boob or bottle) anywhere and can ask for support i.e. a chair a quiet corner, etc.
Humans eat in restaurants; babies are human, therefore....
Of course, if Katey WANTED to nurse in her car, that's her business :)
124. Denise said:
I love it! She's so funny! Promise me you won't tell my mom! So cute!! You are doing something right! That's for sure! I had my son at age 21, which should be illegal as I can confirm it is way to young to care for a newborn. Now at 35 I have a 14 year old and I'm constantly like "I am way too young to be dealing with this shit!". Actually, I guess I have been saying that for 14 years now. Anyway - that's my sidenote...
When my eldest was 7 1/2 he'd set his alarm at night, get up on his own, make his breakfast, eat it, dress himself and get ready for school. He'd tiptoe into my room where I was sleeping next to my newborn and say "I am sorry to wake you. I know you were up all night. I heard the baby a bunch of times. I wanted to say goodbye. I am going to the bus stop now.". That was when I was sure - I am a great mom. Sounds like you have your confirmation - she's reading at what a 5th grade level at this point and she's a rule follower! That's awesome! Way to go Mama!
125. Sharon Simpson said:
It sounds like your household is becoming adjusted so well to the new baby. I love hearing how both girls are doing. I don't comment much, but I read you every day and LOVE your blog!
I'm a retired elementary teacher, our two kids are all grown up, and I really miss those 'baby days.'
All the best to you and your family!
126. Margie said:
What a great story, thanks for the morning laugh Heather.
127. shara said:
oh man...i am noticing all of the comments assuring (who? dooce? the general public?) that leta does NOT have ADD and i am surprised at how many of y'all are doctors! the internet! it's so full of surprises!
128. Anonymous said:
...was just informed hyper-focus is a symptom of ADD. New symptom to push more pills perhaps?
129. beauxbeaux said:
If you were my mom, you'd wait until you figured I had forgotten about sitting in the front seat, then randomly ask me if I've ever sat in the front seat of a car. And if I asked, "Did Katy tell you that?", you'd be all, "No. I'm your mother and I can tell that you've disobeyed me." You'd let me believe that for a while (or hey, maybe forever), then you'd laugh your ass off.
p.s. The Bubbles pic of Marlo is out of control! Sweet Jeebus. The cute. It is keeeeling me.
130. CJK said:
Totally with you on the distractions...my daughter is 4 1/2 and does the exact same thing. It can be maddening but I kinda get it. Just have to work a bit to keep her on track. I had a relative suggest ADD, too. Didn't jump down her throat too badly, just told her I'm not into labeling my PRESCHOOLER. Jeesh, why can't some people just let kids be kids, and be who they are!? Just because they aren't what we think they should be or are different perhaps than what we expected, love and accept them anyway, people! They're not little robots.
My daughter, too, gets equally frustrated when she has to switch gears against her will. Holy hell, the passion behind her screeching!
Keep up the good work!
131. jailbird said:
love love love the way you tell Leta stories! so cute and funny!
132. Marina said:
I'm a long-time lurker, first time commenter. I just wanted to say:
Goddamn, Heather, I love your writing so much, it boggles the mind. Please never stop updating.
133. Lizzy said:
Wait... could Leta and my daughter Grace be the same person? Granted, Grace is 10, but holy socks! they sound like the same hot air. Exhausting, but so worth it.
134. Hokie Deb said:
-->I love Leta for wanting to follow the rules of the car and trying to recruit Katey into not telling you she was sitting up front.
http://www.websavymom.com
135. Kelsi said:
Leta and my 6 year old Ari sound so much alike She always takes forever to get dressed and turns our conversations around on us as well! She is so cute and frustrating at the same time.
136. Karl said:
I never read Leta as ADD. Asperger syndrome, maybe, since she sounds a lot like me (and my brother) and we're both borderline Asperger.
137. Kiran said:
I laughed so hard! I cried at the ending - it was so touching for me. Leta is so hilariously & adorably cute :)
138. Anonymous said:
Re: "The many, many, many more milestones to come!"
Chuck's thought bubble: "Dear GOD, I BEG YOU: please let me be dead and long buried before either Leta or Marlo are ready for tampons..."
139. Jennifer said:
I ditto Lee @#65. On all points.
140. Kelsey said:
Ohmygosh I love hearing about Leta! She's so precious. And I, like most of the other commenters, was just like that when I was little. To this day I cannot be in a public place without losing track of a conversation because I'm too busy trying to see what everyone else is doing. My boyfriend says I look like a meerkat--head spinning in all directions looking for danger. I tell him its not danger I'm looking for, just shiny things!
And, please, keep up the writing. It's the best part of my workday!
141. MamaCass said:
That totally made me laugh out loud. SO STINKIN' CUTE! My daughter is the same way with her concentration...and with the emphasis she puts on getting things finished properly, even when pretending. I've definitely had to wait for imaginary characters or baby dolls to finish what they are doing before we can put our shoes on and exit the house on more than one occasion. Great story.
142. Lynn said:
Heather and Margaret #73
My grandson was also born at the same time. He's almost outgrown the 0-3 onesies.
I found these great extenders with snaps. Gives them an extra inch or so to get more wear out of those onesies that you're so sad to part with.
143. eddeaux said:
Whoa. You had me right up until the point where you said, "Boyfriend" and "Baby". So who is the father? The boyfriend? Or was there someone else 9+ months ago? What a Flooze and you let Leta go to brunch with her.
I wonder how many people will read this and think I am being serious?
144. MotherProof said:
Yeah, but are you going outside to enjoy the evening? How about now? Now? NOW?
145. Lauren From Texas said:
Child lives in fear of you? CHECK.
Just kidding. :)
Leta is a rockstar. If you ever get tired of her, give her to me.
146. Kris said:
Nope, not ADD. Asperger's kid. I have me one of those. highly intelligent, low social skills with kids her own age, and totally unable to bend to societal demands like wearing clothes, eating things of color (other than goldfish crackers), getting hands dirty (for some - mine, not so much), and totally into their own OCD stuff. Yep, yep, yep. There's all kinds of different flavors, but they're all on the spectrum.
And mine's going into 4th grade this year. I'm about ready to bust out the vodka again. I am actually going to let her wear her school clothes to bed so she's already dressed when I drag her out of her bed and down the stairs to get ready for school.
147. Gabip said:
My 5 yr old, Alex, is the same way about getting dressed. He will add a butt shaking routine to the program before putting his boxer briefs on; it's ever so much fun, especially when pressed for time. He too is not afflicted with ADD or ADHD or AHD etc., just a typical wiggly five year old who thinks shaking his bare butt and being nude is way more fun then getting dressed.
148. LifesBeenGood said:
May that be the worst of many things that Leta asks someone not to tell on her for. Priceless...
The look on Chuck's face in that onsie screams "OMFG... Seriously?" I think I see tears in his eyes!
149. Anonymous said:
I think I just thew up in my mouth a little.
150. Jillian said:
Leta in no way sounds like she has ADD. Quite the opposite. She sounds brilliant. The term "old soul" definitely comes to mind.
151. Maggie said:
That is hilarious. That is totally my oldest daughter too. She always does the right thing. She definitely doesn't take after me!
152. Anonymous said:
my brown-eyed moderate republican 9yr old son, with towel around his waist, comes to find me after his shower:
"mom, the silver thing fell off". no idea what he's takling about but whatever, i'm in the middle of cleaning other bathroom..."um, that's okay honey, I'll take care of it".
him, without missing a beat, and straitfaced: "Hit my toe. said fuck."
i started to say ya know, are you okay then realized the second thing he said. speechless. finally i sputtered 'was it necessary to bust out with curse words?'
his reply? 'it was only one'.
moderate republican, future lawyer now.
153. Molly said:
Long time reader, first time comment, I think...
Anyway after 4 kids i thinnk I can safely say that Marlo is going to be so freaking free-spirited that it's going to rock your world totally off its axis.
It's karma...
154. Anonymous said:
ADD doesn't mean one can't focus on things, it's an inconsistency of focus. Which means that sometimes one can hyperfocus on things. And since it's too early to diagnose it I wouldn't dismiss it quite so harshly. If she did turn out to have it you wouldn't want her to feel bad like there is something horribly wrong with her. People with ADD tend to be highly intelligent and very creative. It's not an insult.
155. Rebecca said:
LOL.
156. Anonymous said:
So bummed that the TORTOROUS activity of getting my 3-year old dressed might go on for another 2 years or more! He literally starts to walk away while one leg is inserted in a pant leg and the other one is not, and I have to REMIND him what we are supposed to be doing. "WE'RE getting dressed now! Come on, let's focus." And I truly mean WE'RE getting dressed because I put as much physical effort into this activity--probably more--as he does. AAARRRRGGG!!
Oh, and my son has been called ADD more times than I can count. I actually had to talk to the director of his daycare and tell her that maybe the staff shouldn't throw that term around too much. And this was when he was 18 MONTHS OLD!!!!
Keep on rockin' dooce! Your stories make me laugh and make me feel like I must being doing ok.
157. Andy in Utah said:
Heather, you SO deserve the daughter you are going to get when she grows up. Both of them probably.
158. Julia said:
You probably said that too....at the age of 5. And at the age of 19....and 26....Don't tell my mom.
That Leta is a direct descendant of you in more ways than the obivious one.
And Marlo? Can I just say there has never been a rounder, more perfect lipped, cuter ski-lift nosed baby than Marlo?
159. Joy said:
Your a great mama - definately doing an awesome job with both Leta and Marlo....
160. Monkey said:
Am I the only one who is dying to know what the blonde Barbie and the brunette Barbie were fighting about? Yes? Okay then.
161. Vanessa said:
Thanks for sharing, I always enjoy reading your post.
162. Sandy said:
I'm tired of people saying that normal behavior is ADD or ADHD. Any book on 6-7 year olds describes this exact behavior.
Both of your girls are beautiful.
163. MaNiC MoMMy said:
I had to laugh because in your telling of the story, you did exactly what you're accusing Leta of doing. You started telling us the story about lunch with Katey and then all of a sudden there are Barbies and clothes needing to be put on, and furniture buying so you can all go outside and enjoy the evening ... Heather, I think Leta gets a little of this from YOU! LOL
164. Puanani said:
It would take my son hours to get dressed. Brushing one's teeth would take decades. He's 16 and it is still the same...
165. Talon said:
*grins*
As I'm sure you've already been advised, you realize that HYPER-focus is also an indicator of ADD/ADHD...especially when it's to the exclusion of other stuff.
*sticks tongue out*
I'm teasing, but it's true, the first question my doctors asked me after ascertaining that I was high functioning autistic was to find out if I also had ADD/ADHD (I don't) but that's when I found out about the hyper focusing thing, and it's why they suspected I had it...(I don't.) I didn't know about that particular symptom before and it surprised me that a neurological disorder can be so far reaching to either end of what seems a range of response and still be considered the same disorder!!
(But you already know that Leta is neither autistic or ADD/ADHD...I'm only saying for the sake of the devil. :P)
166. frog said:
Yep, 35 minutes for a 7yo to get from the bedroom to the kitchen for breakfast - via a conversation with three stuffed toys, deliberation over which pen and paper to use for writing a note (with pictures) to a friend who will be at school that day. A whole 15 metres. And we haven't even started on actually having breakfast or anything totally unexpected like getting dressed.
167. Heidi said:
I am just like Leta and your husband, always jumping from one thing to another, therefore taking much longer to finish the first thing.
Hus probably assumes I am drinking too much, but that's beside the point.
168. Erika said:
My parents must have instilled fear of instant death in my brother and I if we didn't wear our seatbelts. My dad used to ask if we were ready and start rolling the car down our driveway which was a long gravel road, and we would both start screaming, "No! Wait!!! We aren't ready!" as if we were going to die right there in the driveway if our seatbelts hadn't clicked into the buckle. He thought it was hilarious.
169. Pao said:
aww, leta is so adorable. :)
170. Renee said:
Sounds like Katey is a tattle-tale and an amazing assistant
171. mrs.notouching said:
Katey and Leta will be best friends for life!
172. robin white said:
so many comments on the beauty and wonders of add(with or without H) - worked with many such children in the decade - may I suggest reading Thom Hartmann: Attention Deficit Disorder - a different perception - "Hunters in a Farmer's World. I sent you the book on the dog MO - now in red AND green - love to share more.....xxoo
173. Brandi said:
Leta sounds like me! I forget what I'm doing in the middle of doing them all the time!
I can just imagine Leta's reaction to sitting in the front seat of the car. Today we took our neighbor's new RV for a trip in the neighborhood and a two-year old was sitting in the front on his dad's lap. He looked very uncomfortable. Meanwhile, my 10-month old, sitting in my lap, was like, "WHOA, this is cool! Who needs that freakin' car seat!" Well, actually...he didn't say anything other than "oooooohhh."
174. Bratfink said:
I SO needed that laugh. Thanks.
175. Andrea said:
Heather, I'm a longtime stalker of your site. I couldn't resist coming out of hiding to comment on this post.
My 12-year-old was always accused by others of being ADD. We, as his parents, knew there was no way that was possible - though, we weren't quite sure what he "had" with all his quirks and such.
Turns out, the child's IQ is so high he's gifted according to school standards! You'd never believe how much fun I've had answering the, "Is he ADD?" question with "No, he's just gifted!"
I predict some serious gifted testing in your not-so-distant future.
176. Jennifer B. said:
First of all, Hahahahahaha! Secondly, I love the honesty of children!
177. reikigirl said:
Classic. Leta is amazing.
(And I second what JL (comment #3) said...I could use a Katey around my house.)
178. Oda said:
Bahaha, that reminds me of when I as a five or six year-old stubbornly refused a dollar for raking the leaves for my friends mom, all because my mom had told me "not to accept money from strangers".
179. Noelle said:
I just realized something...my child is living a parellel life as your daughter. I swear sometimes the stories you tell make me think they are the same kid!
180. emma said:
The cuteness factor of your child is absolutely killing me. Sigh.
This is only the beginning, you know. I'm sure there will be a time when you look back fondly at her innocent desire to follow your directions. I can't wait to hear about her reaction when you pull out this story in about 12 years as a reminded of how she should OBEY HER MOTHER.
Glad to know that you are taking full advantage of your back yard. Such a simple pleasure, and privilege. I look forward to having one some day as well. For now, I'll simply appreciate the photos of yours.
181. Christina said:
Yeah, yeah...that's adorable.No really, it is. :)
Real reason for commenting...my husband and I watched all of The Wire recently too and I completely agree with you on how nothing else compares. Mad Men is pretty close though!
182. Martha Elizabeth said:
You do know, Heather, don't you, that "hyperfocus" is a hallmark of ADD/ADHD?
183. Mir said:
That ADD-like ability to forget everything, but then turn around and focus on a book or some other activity that a child who really has ADD would never be able to do is just a part of highly gifted children. Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities, actually.
My daughter does the same thing and at 8 I can tell you it's no better than it was at 4-5. There's things you can do to calm it down, such as making posters to help a child focus on menial tasks, and adding more physical and mental activities to her day which can help her mellow out all around. Self-paced programs are the best - instruments, ballet, swimming, etc. But mostly it's about blasting as much mental energy from her brain as possible. The more you get her to use her brain and wear it out, the calmer she will be...in all areas.
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Lind_OverexcitabilityAndTheGift...
184. Bush Babe said:
Leta sounds perfectly normal to me... I have a son that requires about an hour for breakfast and then another for getting dressed. More important things just keep coming up. Like patting the dog. Watching ABC Kids on TV. Seeing if the DS is charged yet. Finding a pencil. A bit of loud rousing (by his Mother) usually works. Or a quiet threat to throw the DS out the window. Marvellous. Oh, and he lives in fear of being found out doing something FORBIDDEN. But lately I have been wondering whether he is actually beginning to enjoy the fear... the drama.
Maybe ADD should stand for Additionally Distracted and Dramatic?
Speaking of which...do people really diagnose your kid in the comments section? Gah...
:-)
BB
PS Jon sounds quite adorable.
185. Violet said:
Yeah, at 3 years of age, I asked my mom if I could go potty and she said yes. I proceed to climb out of the playpen (yes, that dates me), go potty and CLIMB back in. I don't know what you call those parenting skills, but DAMN, I was compliant! Ha! Not so much now, though.
186. Kathleen said:
Are you sure you didn't have twins when you gave birth to Leta? Positive? Because she often reminds me of my niece, Samantha. Once during a trip to the roller skating rink, Sam asked me, "Aunt Kathleen, WHY isn't anyone in here wearing a helmet?!" I said I didn't know, but guessed maybe it was because helmets weren't required at the rink. Sam responded, "Well, they should be required. The ground is very hard!"
187. Elaine said:
My favorite line of this is, "the brunette barbie has to think about it".
188. AngelaVan said:
My daughter is the same way. Usually you cannot tear her away from something to save your life. But there are other times that I call the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" times - because that's exactly how it feels.
189. libby @ ninesandquines said:
i am SOOOOOOOOO leta....it takes me FOREVER to get ready for work in the morning....i'll get my hair done, then stop to play with the dogs....then have to turn on the t.v. and sit for a minute to watch it....then look at the clock and it's all "holy shit! i'm going to be late!" then put on a blouse, then, oh wait, i didn't make coffee, run downstairs, put coffee and filter and water in coffee maker, then back upstairs, with dogs in hot pursuit. ok they need to be played with again....crap - now i need to find a skirt that doesn't have dog slobber on it - shit, it needs to be ironed....back downstairs, wait, dogs need to be fed, oh yeah, actually power ON the coffee maker....ok, iron is hot, back upstairs because yeah, i forgot my shoes and purse, oh dogs need to go out? ok - out you go....where are my keys? f***! blackberry is upstairs....let dogs in, tell them to be good (and they look at me like, yeah, whatevah! we're DOGS! we shall shed anywhere we want and tear up anything we wish). yell out to the horses "morning boys!" on my way past the paddock out of the neighborhood (yes, we get to have horses in our neighborhood :-)) get half way to work and realize i forgot to put on makeup! and that's on a GOOD day!
190. Meredith said:
That is too funny ("I'm not supposed to sit in the front seat"). It's also interesting how kids pick up on our mannerisms and then use them on such a ridiculous level. Every other sentence out of my son seems to start with "by the way" or "don't forget!"
191. Bonnie said:
Leta is too funny. She's only going to get cooler with age, too. As soon as she can type I hope she starts her own blog!
I hate to tell you, but 'they' are now claiming that absent-mindedness AND over-concentration are symptoms of ADD. Just to prepare you for people telling you so.. (but of course you know that Leta is perfect the way she is). I think 'ADD' is mostly BS, but then again, I have a diagnosis.
192. Belle said:
Leta is awesome. For a 5 year old, and for a regular person. And Katey is dually awesome sounding.
193. Nicole said:
do you know how many evenings i have enjoyed the shit out of?! DO YOU?!
i have also enjoyed the shit out of beaches, malls, movie theatres and *gasp* the local McDonald's playland.
i can tell you that badgering, while mildly frustrating but cute at age 5, is a lot less cute and a whole lot more frustrating by age 10. Can't imagine what 15 will be like!
194. Natasha said:
I love this post...burst out laughing in the ppl's office when I should be working.
As for you daily photo titled 'BUBBLES' - Hilarious!!!!!!
My bf and I watched that entire series while I was pregnant last year...and you're right; after watching that show, it's really hard watching regular TV again. BTW, Bubbles was one of my favourite characters of the show.
195. Anonymous said:
That is one quick mind ;-)
196. Mad Hat Vintage said:
Wait—why is ADD a bad thing? Our whole family is ADD, especially my big bro. whose ADD “addled” brain figured out some supposedly impossible process while working in a lab as a 21 year old undergrad. Thanks to his ADD all kinds of new asthma and arthritis drugs have been developed in the last 15 or so years. Sorry to sound soapboxy but I’ve been diagnosed with both asthma AND a rheumatoid illness this week and have been spending way too much time thinking about the serendipity of it all.
197. Cheryl S. said:
I love Leta. what a little smartie pants. And guess what, the absent minded professor thing? It comes with being smart. It was my nickname as a kid. I used to get in the shower with my undies on, forget my shoes, etc. I also graduated with stright A's from Kindergarten to college. And I DON'T have ADD. Let Leta be Leta, she'll be fine!
And, can I have a Katey, please??????
198. linnysol said:
my son is similar...they tell on themselves. he's in kindergarten now- a teacher's dream we say!
199. Constance said:
When I was little I firmly believed that the car was incapable of starting, let alone driving, without everyone's seat belts buckled. My parents swear they didn't start this delusion - I'm suspect, but might use it on our daughter...
200. Kate said:
Nothing makes us happier as mommies than those reported moments of remembering their rules when they're out of our sight. Your daughter sounds charming and sweet, and you're obviously so in tune with who she is...you are doing TONS right!
201. Kristen said:
My husband and 6 year old are both easily distracted. This post made me laugh laugh laugh. So familiar.
202. Candice said:
I'm fairly certain Leta is going to grow up to become the first female President of the USA.
203. Dee said:
I'm seeing Leta in about 20 years, and she is definitely in the marketing/public relations field. Either that or she's a second generation blogger... [be very afraid]
204. beth aka confusedhomemaker said:
Ok, I know I'm posting a 2nd time. BUT #168 & #199's comments on seat belts make me laugh, because it IS that way for my kids. Then again now that I'm thinking about it maybe the rules thing for us is more intense because of our family. I live with 2 boys who are aspies, a daughter who is just my carbon copy, a husband who thinks everything is humorous, and a baby who I'm pretty sure is plotting with the rest of them to get me. So ah hell what do I know;)
And yes after giving it more thought I am pretty sure it is totally possible to diagnosis a complex disorder from a set of internet postings on your blog. I mean if not then how would all the women on various baby/mom sites know what to do without posting & getting random feedback from strangers? It's like knowing if you are pregnant, if you post it online & ask people they will tell you. Damn peeing on a stick, just pee on your computer. Hmm....I think I just went way OT.
btw--thanks for making me laugh, lately it's been not as easy & your writing definitely does that for me.
205. Sonja McClung said:
Sounds like your daughter is very bright! Smart kids are so much fun to be around lol! And I would say that yes, whatever you are doing is working!
Sonja
http://www.silverriverjewelry.com
206. readsblogsatwork said:
What a riot - at 56 I start to tell a story, forget where I was going halfway through and hope to God I can remember before I get to the end so I don't look like an idiot! I've always been like that -- too much to process. Love your blog - Leta, Marlo and Katey!! -- not forgetting Chuck, he's the shit!
207. Jody said:
Different foods touching is the same as "crossing the streams" in "Ghostbusters." The entire universe as we know it will be annihilated!
208. Anonymous said:
Hey...haven't read the comments... but hyper-focusing on the task at hand is actually a hallmark of ADD.
The name ADD is actually a misnomer in that respect... especially in girls. I have it btw. And I am "highly intelligent", so I've been told, with advanced degrees with very high grades... many people with ADD are quite intelligent.
For myself, I say that ADD in girls stands for "always day-dreaming" cus I used to be a big day dreamer as a girl and still love to take time out to let my mind wonder where it will.
But just know that hyper-focusing and being upset when that gets interrupted is definitely part of ADD... and it would be good to know if she's got it as a child rather than finding out in adulthood as I did!
Thom Hartmann has some great books on ADD... I think it's a gift rather than a curse... our minds work very creatively and make connections that most people don't see.
209. Harriet B. said:
Ummmm....don't know if someone else said this, but concentrating TOO MUCH on things is a hallmark of ADD. I have ADD and I am the same way. Attention Deficit, is kind of a misnomer because its actually an attention inconsistency...being able to hyper-focus on some things and not focus at all on others.
210. Katherine said:
Honestly, people? Read the story, enjoy it, and stop trying to diagnose her kids. An anecdote does not a syndrome make, and besides... must we be so adamant about pathologizing children? Kids get labeled enough by peers, it's just sad when adults jump in the game.
211. Baby Favorite said:
Leta sounds SO MUCH like my daughter in the distracted yet intense and also too wise for her age ways!
And, as soon as you said that Katey had her in the front seat of the car (parked, no less), I instantly wondered if Leta would worry about that! Why? Because that would totally be my kids' reaction, as well.
212. Janie said:
Oh I just adore Leta! Please don't ever take her away from us!
I hope she starts her own blog someday. Wouldn't that be just like her? Writing a blog EXPLAINING all your blog posts about her...telling her side of the story, if you will! LOVE. THAT. KID.
213. Ulyana said:
Goodness, this is just too cute! And she did tell on her, haha!
214. Jasie VanGesen said:
I absolutely adore the random and hilarious snapshots into you guys' life!!
215. Brooke said:
Too cute! :-)
216. luv & kiwi said:
i think your kid needs her own book of random leta sayings...she's definitely on a "HO NUTHA LEVEL" lol...keep the good stories rolling :)
217. Stephanie C said:
HA! I have a daughter four and a half who does the same damn thing. I have witnessed her putting new undies ontop of day old undies because her mind was wandering. And then she laughs and proceeds to run me step by step through what happened and DOES IT AGAIN ONCE DONE TELLING THE STORY,
o.m.g.
If this is what the TV distraction does to her - then what will an iPod, a cell phone and a car do to the kid at the age of 16?!?!
*sigh*
And don't tell my mother...again, it is so hard keeping a straight face while listening and witnessing these items. I am often found hiding behind things or having a coughing attack.
218. mpotter said:
and leta just keeps getting funnier!
hope you will also enjoy this evening and all the rest to come...
219. buy steroids said:
And I, like most of the other commenters, was just like that when I was little. To this day I cannot be in a public place without losing track of a conversation because I'm too busy trying to see what everyone else is doing.
220. valerie @ Robots and Candy said:
"Promise me you won't tell my mom I did this."
That sounds astonishingly like something I would have said at about that age. Like, so similar that I had the same feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would in those situations.
I definitely think that what you're doing is working!
221. Beyond Alice said:
I <3 Leta. Your stories bring a smile to my face every day. :)
222. Meara said:
At our little house on our little lot, at dusk we are often outside, dogs tumbling, garden getting watered, picking random weeds, cleaning up debris from the day of play, etc. My husband calls is "surveying the perimeter".
Years ago, our then-6-year-old son told my father-in-law, who had phoned while we were outside, that "Daddy is surveying the perimeter of the yard right now and can't come to the phone".... hahaha. The family STILL talks about it!
223. Jenna Jean said:
Ugh, ya'll not every kid under five who gets distracted easily has ADD. It's called Barbies people, they would distract any girl who has a love for pink and princesses.
224. Kathleen said:
Every child needs an adult to keep her secrets and I'm so glad to hear that Leta has Katey. In no time at all, you'll be the ones holding her child's "confessions."
Very sweet for all involved.
225. Sharlene said:
I'm not here to say that Leta has ADHD, but rather to give you a little bit more information about what ADHD is. I am an adult with ADHD who did not find out about it until after undergrad and have struggled to manage it off and on as a result.
From what I understand, people in the field now believe that ADHD is an disorder of executive function. The condition is not simply about an inability to sustain attention; rather, it means that an individual with ADHD has the inability to regulate attention. As such, s/he can be inattentive to chores or tasks that are of high priority while fixating on things that are of relatively low priority. Or even things that shouldn't be a priority at all, merely a curiosity, if you will.
That is a problem I had in grad school. Boy, the Internet sure doesn't help. One expects a brief answer to a simple question, but then ends up getting caught up in a loop of curiosities, eating away hours that should have been spent on writing a damn paper. And considering how much time is spent on computers for research . . . good god, man!
226. Martinis or Diaper Genies? said:
PLEASE GOD LET MY CHILD BE SARCASTIC. I can not deal with a non funny child. I'll take an ugly baby first. thank you.
227. Kim said:
I love Leta phrasing her questions like a defense attorney - you have one scary smart little kid! Off topic, I screamed with joy when I saw your shout out to "The Wire", best (and most underrated) show ever. I'm loving that you call Marlo
"Stringer Bell" when she's angry!
228. Emily said:
Oh god, I am falling off my chair laughing. You have an awesome/funny life, but what should never be forgotten is that you are seriously an incredible storyteller and I strive to be the kind of writer you are.
Also--Leta is legit my hero.
229. Courtney said:
I seriously think parsing nonsense and I are married to the same guy, and I don't have any "sister wives" so it is kind of freaky because I have never met another like him.
230. Anonymous said:
I prefer when you keep comments closed. Some of the readers here are fricking lunatics.
231. Tiggerlane said:
Now, you can't blame this ALL on Jon...I think there's a mini-version of your Valedictory self emerging there! Somehow, I know with that LDS upbringing, you would have FREAKED at Leta's age had the rules been bent in such a manner! LOL!
232. Harriet B. said:
"@210. Katherine said:
Honestly, people? Read the story, enjoy it, and stop trying to diagnose her kids. An anecdote does not a syndrome make, and besides... must we be so adamant about pathologizing children? Kids get labeled enough by peers, it's just sad when adults jump in the game."
Katherine-
I don't think we're trying to diagnose her kid. Heather has a very large audience and she said something that was wrong and I felt it was necessary correct. ADD is very misunderstood and I felt she was reinforcing some negative information about it.
233. Anonymous said:
I have major dog envy - Chuck, not Coco, I can't even get a collar on my dog without him eating it much less a onesie!
PS Your commenters are lunatics... says a commenter... your kid is 5. All kids who are 5 forget to get dressed and brush teeth and don't listen until the 10th time you've repeated yourself. The diagnosis is that they're kids.
234. jeannie said:
this is tell you that OH MY GOD DID I LOVE THE WIRE, too. It was last summer that I finally started watching it. Season 5 had just concluded, series over, when I heard an interview about the show (how great the series had been, etc. ) on Fresh Air. Despite my fondness for HBO shows I had for some reason just never gotten into this one. I rented Season One from Blockbuster and by the third episode I was reeled in. Of course, Blockbuster didn't own the entire series so I signed up for Netflix and spent the next several days of my life holed up in my room, the MacBook Pro warming my lap and me, literally 'wired' via earbuds (can't let the kiddies see or hear this action, no doubt) to the city of Baltimore and its neighborhoods. I loved it; loved watching one episode after the next, all 54 hours of television, great television. I lived with those people. Each season was magnificent. I didn't think I'd like "the docks" but oh, I loved it all. I felt so connected to them all, even the people I'd have feared, in real life.
The single most painful scene, for me, was the one where (darn it i can't remember their names) the one kid shot and killed the other (the boy who'd escaped to the country b/c he wanted 'out' but found he couldn't cope, outside of the city...the kid who took care of his siblings...) they took him upstairs, the kid was so naive and sweet and when he realized what was going to happen he just peed his pants and they shot him in the head. oh my god it still kills me, thinking of that. the shooter (the character) lived until the last season; he was a street dealer.
you named your daughter after marlo stanfield! and Bubbles. wow. what great TV.
now i think i might just have to watch it all again. it's that kind of show. just like i can watch GoodFellas over and over and over again....
235. kat said:
ADD? Puuuulllllleeeease. It's called being 5. Tell those nosy nellies to stick it.
236. Peggy said:
Leta reminds me of my youngest daughter Christina, who is now 21, when she was five...
I came to the conclusion pretty quickly that Christina simply operated in her own time zone.
There was Christina's time and everyone else's time. I was grateful for the days when Christina's time zone was in synch with mine.
Have fun...Five is FUN!
237. StephanieSays said:
My sister had a similar experience: my mom, at some point started her "afternoon cup of Suisse Mocha" pick-me-up.
She'd mix it up around 2 in the afternoon, and if she had errands to run, would take it in a travel mug.
One afternoon, my sister informed her: "Mom, I'm upset about you drinking and driving...."
238. Melissa said:
I can so relate to the absent-minded professor thing. I'm forever getting distracted because I suddenly remember something I need/want to do or say. I tend to wander around the house and set things down wherever, which leads to finding things in odd places, like a remote in the fridge...
239. aussiechic said:
My girlfriend has a little girl and it is A NIGHTMARE to try and get her dressed.....however, her son, just gets up and puts his clothes on.....he just does not see what the fuss is about......
I think our wardrobe issues start early.....and they are inbuilt......we cannot escape them. EVER.
240. the niffer said:
Adorable.
241. stroller store said:
Lovely blog post Heather. I know how you feel. Absent minded is my middle name.
242. Stephani said:
Heather:
I just started reading your blog last week and I am hooked. I literally laughed out loud (which was bad because the mouthful of brown rice went flying, sorry TMI) when you talked about the brunette barbie.
http://www.myhormonesmademe.com
243. Teena said:
Leta sounds very much like my girlfriend's 6 year old daughter. She literally makes me want to scream with frustration when she's taking her own little time to do whatever it is you've already asked her to do 10 times before. Then she explains why she hasn't gotten around to it yet and you're so amazed at the 35 year old answer coming from the 6 year old mouth, you forget why you were so upset in the first place.
244. Char said:
That was too cute of a story. My son does the same thing he'll be in the middle of doing what I tell him to do then just wanders off to play with Legos because he wasn't just finished building something. The things children do.
245. Julia said:
A lot of Leta's quirks (not just this anecdote) remind me of my son. More than a few people have tried to pin the ADD tag on him. It doesn't fit; however, life would have been a lot easier if we had known years ago that there really was something there (sensory processing disorder, or SPD, to be exact).
However, kids can be just so damned weird and funny and brilliant. Plus, the division between "normal" and "abnormal" can actually be so subtle a progression. You catch something from the corner of your eye, but when you look full on, it's gone. Was it really there? Most of the time—but not all of the time—it's just a trick of the light.
246. Ash said:
Heather,
First time commenter, long time reader... Many thanks for the laugh. It made the headache I have go away for half a second, and that felt nice.
Think you and Jon are AWESOME parents... Screw all those people who criticize you. They suck! ;)
247. Kristin said:
Great post as always . . . I was wondering where you got the fabric for your outdoor cushions/what brand is it/where can I get some?!?! Because I LOVE it!
248. gina said:
I am so glad that you agree about the ADD bullsh*t. The last thing that a young child needs is to be labeled and put on meds. When our 4 year old son wouldn't sit in his chair at school then the teacher started spouting "ADD !". We put him on Ritalin and it turned him into a little zombie that fell asleep in his dinner plate. We stopped the meds. All he needed was love, good attention, and discipline. We adopted him out of foster care and he had never had rules before. He is doing great now and doesn't have any sort of label that he will have to live down for the rest of his life - well other than having smart *ss parents but that is another story.
http://a-slapintheface.blogspot.com/
249. Anonymous said:
Before teaching second grade I taught kindergarten. Reading these stories about Leta makes me really miss that age group. I have yet to meet a parent who DOESN'T think they have the smartest child ever, and that's how it should be.
250. jill said:
Reason #87 I read your blog: I never realized my daughter was supposed to have a younger sister with the same personality b/c in some of these stories it sounds like you are telling me story about my lovely 7-year old daughter a couple years ago. Seriously. And just FYI it gets crazier... while also more amazing. I love children that keep life interesting :)
251. Ms. Latina said:
Ahhhh even with all of those struggles you can tell she listens. Look how she stated she couldn't sit in the front seat! How cute is that LOL
252. Tammy at The Butterfly Mind said:
Heather - Leta sat in the front seat! UH OH! She may never recover from the guilt. Don't tell anyone, but that Katey is a keeper!
I'm recovering from a trip to Texas to bust a puppy mill (I volunteer with HSUS) - made me so ANGRY:
http://thebutterflymind.com/ramblings_0124_texastears.htm
PEOPLE - please help stop puppy mills!
253. marymac said:
ohmygod I need a Katey.
Clone Katey?! ;)
254. Melissa B. said:
EXACTLY the reason I let my kids dress themselves when they were that age. Ended up with some fairly bizarro combos, but oh, well. They're older & wiser now, for sure. And quite embarrassed when they see old family fotos!
255. Anonymous said:
Please lets not insult thousands of people--one can have ADD *and* be brilliant or gifted. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Also a diagnosis of ADD doesn't automatically mean medication. Knowledge can sometimes be the greatest cure.
(This is directed at the commenters, not at Heather. Anyone who would purport to diagnose a medical condition on the basis of these anecdotes is equally insulting.)
256. repliderium.com said:
There should be a weird little book about all of the crap that comes outta that kids mouth. I adore her conversations. Just wait til Marlo gets older and they're talking to each other!
257. Sharlene said:
@ Anon. #255.
In fact, people with ADHD frequently have higher than average IQs.
258. No.17 Cherry Tree Lane said:
I love Leta. Hilarious.
259. BOSSY said:
And the chorus goes, "Awwwwwwwwwwwwww". So sweet.
261. LizaLou said:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/21/outing.anonymous.bloggers/index.html
262. Heather James said:
ADD doesn't just mean distraction... it can also be its exact opposite... extreme focus. Even if your kid did have ADD, it's not a hindrance or a bad thing. Some of the most creative, ingenious, interesting people in all of history could have been categorized as such.
263. Ali said:
It's obnoxious to read comment after comment with the same thing restated. I get that the ADD/ADHD crowd is out in force, but seriously, a quick perusal (or even the "search" function) would show you that hyperfocus has been mentioned dozens of times. Say something new and interesting, or give a new link, but repeating the same information doesn't add strengh or validity.
Leta sounds lovely, clever, and a little bit awkward. I am sure that you and Jon will continue to parent her splendidly, along with Marlo. Make sure to get her into gifted education, though--she'll need it.