• Rissa

    I was like, what are all these people doin’ here? And she was like, IT’S DA MALL. She axed me what I want to eat, and I was like, BITCH. GET ME A CHICKEN SANDWICH. And some WAFFLE FRIES. FO’ FREE!

    Who said Dooce wasn’t cool?

    LOVESSS the Hate page. Good for you.

  • Lori

    LOVE your blog. Your haters suck ass. Genius putting them all on display! Hope you make tons of cash! And wishing you a speedy recovery!

  • http://histrionica.blog.com Nat

    Further to my earlier comments (around 190ish, I believe), I am now clicking all your ads from my work computer so the internet counter thingies will think I’m a different person and give you even MORE money. Suck on that Haters!

  • Jennifer

    Thank you for exposing me to the wonder that is DiorShow Blackout…no matter how many pints of blood I have to sell for it!



  • Anonymous

    Did you know your masthead is being really wonky? I can’t get to FAQ or contact me…which is why I’m posting this in the middle of 120892u39487982 comments and hoping you find it…

  • Sarah

    I agree that the downside of this awesome new project is that the douchebags leaving you mean comments probably will not comment as often now that their nastiness is going to be giving you cash-money.

  • Leeann

    I love the monetizing the hate – it’s amazing to me that people actually write crap like that to you. I find both your blog, tweets, and book to be enjoyable – especially when I want a chuckle. Speaking of – chuck – great pics. Screw the naysayers – they’re shit.

  • http://craftycanine.blogspot.com/ Meredith

    I’ve never written a comment to you but I thought I should now. I am glad you are basically a case of shingles to all those hard headed jugemental assholes out there that obviously know best. Rock on girl!

  • Sarah

    Monetizing the hate is hilarious :)

  • http://sushiforbaby.com Jen

    I fucking love you, Heather B. Armstrong. You are my hero.

    Keep doing what you’re doing — you’re doing it RIGHT. ALL OF IT.

    And you are adored.

    (I’ve been reading your blog for YEARS and have commented approximately three times total, so take heart that you are revered and adored and praised in so many ways than just what is represented here on the Internet.)

    With huge love & big hugs (but not on your SHINGLES!-covered abdomen! Ewww!),
    (merely one of your thousands of devoted admirers & followers)

  • Dirk

    Brilliant! I have an additional idea. Is there any way you (or I guess Jon) can open up the negative comments for comments back? How fun would it be if thousands of your ‘sane’ fans were able to vent back to these idiots!

  • amy

    SHINGLES! I got my first case earlier this year on my face. At first I thought it was a bite of some kind and then it spread spread down my cheek to my earlobe, which blew up to the size of a baby tomato. So, I went to the doctor and he walked in and took one look at me and said “you have shingles”. They must teach shingles 101 in medical school.

    I don’t understand why people continue to visit your site if they hate you so much. It’s not like reading dooce.com is a requirement for a happy life (or is it?).

    Anyway, I love the idea that at least you might get some money from the hate and that will in turn inspire more hate and more money and so on and so on and so one…

    Good luck w/ the SHINGLES! Can you take the awesome Valtrex herpes medicine they advertise on TV that cleared up my SHINGLES! in three days? I hope so…that shit rocked!

  • Kari

    Shingles! Yow! I’m so sorry to hear that. I almost can’t believe that those hateful comments are true. Please tell me that you made them up. Crazy. I hope you make a fortune off them.

  • http://thebeetgoeson.blogspot.com TheExpatresse

    Okay, I just went and read The Hate Page.

    Un-fucking believable. Where does this vitriol come from? I’ve read articles and blogs that contained opinions I did not share. I never felt the urge to post hateful comments.

    Wow. I’m still shaking my head . . .

  • http://mommyiamhome.blogspot.com Karen

    Oh, this is going to be fun…. (the new website, not the shingles)

  • SaraB!

    Oh my god, Heather… this might actually be the Best Thing Ever; and I am so excited because I LOVE hate mail (working in admissions for a state uni, I see lots.) It just makes me laugh that people actually have nothing better to do than sit around and think up nasty things to say to people they don’t know.


  • http://shapedbyrunning.blogspot.com/ Ulyana

    Jebus, you pissed off a lot of people with your bathroom remodeling.

    I guess “taking shit” from other people is part of blogging, but what the hell is wrong with people… especially those who are like “you have it so much better than I do” or that one with “we will die, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE”. WTF?

    I don’t know, I wonder how much of it is the mindset you have when you read your blog. I don’t see you bitching and complaining ever. You are telling your story. And you are telling how you are dealing with everything, not asking for handouts or bitching why nothing is going your way, or how so many people out there are so much more fortunate than you are.

    Did I just kiss your proverbial ass?

  • http://www.tinymandolin.com Mandy

    I think this is a good idea. Might as well, right?

  • http://www.waspandorchid.blogspot.com Laura

    finally! more ways for you to entertain and distract me during the workday. THANKS for sharing this hilarious hate mail. i hope it makes you lots of money and that your SHINGLES! go away.

  • http://mamarobot.com Amanda

    Wow. That hate mail. Glad you found a brilliant way to deal with it :)

  • http://midlifebloggers.com Jane Gassner

    Shingles…the most painful disease I’ve ever had. Felt like someone was sticking needles into me and twisting them. I was knocked out on Codeine. Thus, I’m very impressed with your ability to Soldier On. You go, girl.

    And brilliant idea for making money off the asshats. I don’t have enough of them to do it. Maybe I’ll save up for one big splash.

  • http://have-the-t-shirt.blogspot.com/ Have the T-shirt

    God, I’m so frickin’ naive….I’d have never thought people could be so hateful. It cracks me up, the comments lambasting you for your ‘self importance’…isn’t it pretty damned self important to leave a hateful comment? I mean that’s like saying “I’m better than you, you’re just a tool!”

    I dunno, bottom line, people are loons.

    I love that you’ve started a page for the comments though. Nothing more interesting than seeing people’s asses hangin’ out on the internet.

  • Love and Laughter,Amy

    I went and clicked around the hater page because DAYUM! You totally deserve it for that vitriolic crap. I’m sorry there are so many sorry excuses for human beings out there with computers. Thank you. Thank you for continuing to do what you do, I can’t tell me how many times you’ve made me feel normal and made me smile.

  • Saple

    Sorry about the shingles but the hate mail is so awesome to read..

    I love when people feel the need to express their disgust and that they will no longer be reading your blog..

    Like you are going to woo them back by appearing on their doorsteps with a new laptop and box of godivas begging and pleading for them to read your website…..

    Ok you don’t like it… see ya

  • Leslie

    Oh man.. monetizing the hate. That is so freaking awesome.

    I am AMAZED at the negativity that lies inside of some people. I mean, REALLY… what could possibly be at the root of an individual’s psyche that would possess them to just spew nastiness at someone like that?

    I think you should to an analysis post. Let’s psychoanalyze them individually and figure it out.


  • RuralGirl

    Leaving message here. Marlo Don looks more like Elton John to me! Geez she’s a keeper!

  • http://emotionalumbrella.com Curiosity

    Holy crap. I would have thought that I could imagine the mindlessly jerkerific things that people might say to you, but I was wrong. They are infinitely more talented in both the level of meanness, and complete lack of panache.

    Makes me want to buy some office supplies and lipstick just to click you some extra cash. That, and I’d look infinitely better holding a stapler with my bright red ruby lips.

  • kristin

    Oh my goodness, I love it so much. The amount of ads alone is hilarious, and then we get to read things the mean crazies write, which is always good for a laugh (and always makes me so happy I’m not a mean crazy). It’s pure genius. I hope you rake it in (and best of luck with those SHINGLES)!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve never commented before, but I had to tell you what a great idea that was! You’re taking away their power to flame you by using it for your own gain. I also cannot believe that people would write those comments on your page. I guess you’re right, that the anonymity of the comments page allows people to do some questionable things.

    Sorry to hear about the shingles. I hope it clears up quickly.

    I, for one, fully intend to keep reading your blog.

  • Abby

    Monetizing the hate-such a GREAT idea!

    Just reading of few of the comments, I’m amazed that you still do what you do. I’m glad you have a thick enough skin to keep entertaining us. YOU ROCK!

  • Anoneemouse

    You’re my favorite asshats ever!

    I’ll click!

    I’ll also kneecap the haters in the parking lot if you prefer something a little more direct….

  • Kris

    Heather, you are my hero. Fucking brilliant!

  • andrea

    Just think about how much hate mail you’re going to get about your hate mail. It’s like exponential earnings!!!

  • sarah

    Oh my gosh, that’s funny… not the shingles (that sucks) but all the mean comments… I hope you do make a ton of money of the “monetizing hate” site. It’s funny how they are all confused as to how you have time to say whatever you say each day(and make money doing it)… yet they have time to read it and make self-righteous stupid comments to help you make more money… and they do it for free! HA!

  • Anonymous

    Very funny

  • http://poppyfox.esty.com Poppy

    People are so lame, I guess it’s really easy to be mean to people when they hide their fugly faces behind the computer.


  • Anonymous

    Thanks for this post Heather! Such an awesome idea for all those losers out there.

    You rock. Shingles suck ass and I look forward to your blog every single day!

  • Steve M

    Is it bad that after reading a couple screens of /hate/ I want to write my own self indulgent rant about how I live a more fulfilled life than you. I’m not sure why I would care, but, oh, maybe I will take time out of my day to tell you how to run your site. It’s tough to decide, but look for my email. I will go under the screen name Kanye Wilson, or Joe West, again can’t decide. Oh yeah, and leave politics out of your site completely, you are much better off leaving that sort of things to the peo…wait we are the people it affects.


  • Alli

    Okay, I still think you’re fantastic and brilliant for making money off assholes. But now that I’ve seen what the assholes are saying, I think you’ve moved up to another level of awesome for having to read that abusive shit on a daily basis, and be able to laugh at it. None of it was even directed at me and it totally hurt my feelings. Yikes.

  • Eileen

    It’s the “powered by douchebags” that made me snicker. “Jackass” used to be my favorite putdown, but now that the president’s used it, I think I’ll change it to douchebag. Has a satisfying ring to it.

  • carol c

    you heather am a genius! might as well give them something to bitch about and for the rest of us an excuse to make fun of their sorry pathetic selves. let them be shame and let you profit from all the grief they’ve caused.

  • Stephanie B

    You are by far the most entertaining person I’ve never met. Period. Go get ‘em. LOVE the hate. :)

  • Wendy

    I love that you’re posting the hate mail. Unfortunately it’s too bad that those arrogant, self-agrandizing individuals who write that stuff won’t read it because they think they are better than you. It also makes me sad that people believe that can say such awful, unpleasant things and think it’s okay because they most likely will never meet you.

  • Vicki

    Brilliant use of the trash you so often receive… pure poetic justice.

  • kristen

    I really- for reals- cannot believe the mean stuff people write to you! Who has the time! I love it that they give you crap for spending time blogging, but they spend time reading blogs, generating hateful thoughts, and emailing you about it. I am just flabbergasted.

  • Anonymous

    Wow – I had no idea people were being so HORRID! I am so sorry!

  • Mary

    I went forth and clicked the douchebag sponsored Monetizing the Asshead Hate :)

    I clicked ALL! the ADS! and it felt better than scratching an ITCH!

  • http://www.doadw.blogspot.com Miranda

    I’m amazed at how many people have had SHINGLES! I heard that if you had chicken pox as a kid you won’t get SHINGLES! or is it the other way around. I should check with a doctor I guess, and not hope that someone reads my comment. I love the hater page. I think its hillarious. And as I just tweeted…I wish I could monetize my hate right about now. Not hate for you though. Hate for other people in my life, I would make a killing off of all the rage I have, if only people would click on it. You are not lame like some “haters” like to say. And I’m not licking your taint, sorry…I just don’t swing that way!

  • Stephanie

    Thanks for having the integrity to remain original and authentic. It can’t be easy with the kinds of thrashings you get from some nasty people! I really value your blog, from farts to touching insights and everything in between!

  • Rachael D.

    So glad you took the money making, hate mail plunge!

    I wish the people who love you could take away from the shit heads and their hurtful words…it is sad how the bad stuff is always more memorable then the good.

    Thanks for learning how to wear a hard shell and not let it “get” to you!