• Dyan

    You f’ing rock.
    I swear to GOD that I want to be you in my next life.
    And even if Jon is gay, I would still want him to be the father of MY babies! How about monetizing Jon????
    Love you Dooce.

  • Lizee

    Heather thats the BEST! IDEA! EVER!

  • Anonymous

    As I looked over the new site (brilliant, by the way!) all I could think was “wow, people…why so much hate?!” It’s pretty cowardly, IMHO, to lash out with such cruelty from the safety of behind their computer screens. Imagine how much good we could do in the world if people who spend this much time and energy composing hate mail would channel themselves toward a cause. Pick anything…homelessness, hunger, Darfur, save the whales…I don’t care. Just use your energy for something positive, dammit. And Heather, kudos to you for turning all that negativity into something positive (a paycheck!) for you!

  • The Loud One


  • Courtney

    This is why I love you all. Genius!!

  • Jessica

    Genius! You deserve every dollar that comes in from these idiot’s hate. You do not, however, deserve SHINGLES! good luck with that :)

  • http://catherinehilker.com Catherine

    Oh, Lord I read a couple of the hate comments and I started getting sick to my stomach. What is wrong with people that hate like that??????? I just don’t get it. Well, good for you to make some money off it. I personally, don’t have the constitution for such venom.

  • http://kat-thegoodlife.blogspot.com/ Kat

    I had shingles when I was 15. Oh man that was awful. However, I think I was more horrified about going to the doctor, because my shingles started in my left armpit and spread out attractively across my new breasts. I did not want some middle-aged man looking at my new breasts.

    Monetizing the hate…makes me wish I had hatemail. But then I might start crying and who wants that?

  • http://tmlens.blogspot.com victoria winters

    Monetize away! It sucks that you get evil comments; people are just jealous of you, your beautiful family, and your success. Not an excuse for the hate, but know that it’s them, not you.

    Thank you so much for the waffle fry link. So funny!

  • Kathleen

    YAY! Make money!!!

  • http://serendipitysmiles.com Peggy

    Oh hon…

    SHINGLES suck.

    My oldest daughter got them when she was a sophmore in high school. Most likely because when she did get the chicken pox when she was three, she didn’t get a “severe” case. The only reason I figured out she did have them (when I was a “fly by the seat of my pants” mom of 24,) is because she had a red bump behind her ear and the same kind of funny looking bump between her pinky and her ring finger. Chicken pox.

    (And yes, I exposed her (when she was 3) to my other daughter who was only 6 months old and said, “give your baby sister the chicken pox)

    As for the flamers – make money honey! GO FOR IT!

  • JRae

    Oh Heather, I’m glad you’re able to retain your sense of humor in the face of all the hatred. Some of that hate mail is really mean!

    Just remember for each one of those there are a hundred more people who LOVE you, just the way you are and always have been. :)

    Anyway, Monetizing the Hate is AWESOME! Great idea. Way to turn shit into gold, lol. :)

  • rose

    You are a poopoo head.

    (I just want to see if that will turn up on the hate site)

  • colette

    Good work on Monetizing the Hate. Transforming negative into positive. My friend Scott is 39 and just got shingles. It seems like you and he are both very young to get them. Odd coincidence or national viral conspiracy? He lives in Washington State, btw.

    Hope you feel better soon! And Marlo won’t get the pox!

    a reader

  • alissa

    I scrolled through 12 pages in search for the ‘vitriolic screed’ comment.. can you put that one on your monetizing page?

    Smart move, dooce! Hope the shingles heal soon.

  • http://www.warnerboots.blogspot.com Anonymous

    first of all i just finished your book, “I cried….” and freakin loved it. I have already bought a few copies for friends!

    2nd, i just got finished reading your hate page and i cannot believe how mean people are! i don’t think they will be going to the celestial kingdom!!!! and it IS genius because even though they HATE, they are still reading and making you money! everyone needs more money right? G knows i do!

    third, i had SHINGLES when i was 15 because i was doing to much in high school. Mormon family. So i feel for you!

    used to be mormon

  • Erin in Seattle

    I have a mole is the same place! Embrace the mole!

    I know you’ve said for a long time now that you get a lot if hate mail, but I was still so surprised to see how truly awful the people are who send it! What the F…so mean. I think it’s great that you made Monetizing the Hate! You should post pictures of all the stuff you buy with the money you make from them! They would LOVE that. Well, I would. Keep up the good work.

  • Jessica

    You’re hilarious! I love the Monetizing the Hate page…I think it’s a great idea to make money off of the ridiculous things people say to/about you. Shingles be gone!

  • Anonymous

    Today, my boyfriend moved to France, I got four hours of sleep, I (lightly, delicately) rear-ended a giant truck at a four way stop, I was late for work, where a six year old threw a cup at me in disdain, I read a book about Halloween containing a grand total of 24 words about a million times over, I bathed two humans, neither of which was myself, and yet you, YOU darling Dooce, made me laugh.

    Excuse me, I’m off to weep into my keyboard and click repeatedly on your ads.

  • Kate

    People are so mean and full of venom. Ouch. I don’t know how you stand it. You have a much thicker skin than I do. I think you’re hilarious. Stay strong.

  • Love’s mom

    The new page is insanely fabulous. You should add an option to skip to the first page to allow us to revel in the insanity from the beginning to end. Is all that stuff for real?

    SHINGLES?! I heard it can be induced by STRESS!!! Laugh away the haters with your new site. Take it easy. Infants are no cake-walk. And all the pressure from being 26!

    First time commenter, but to catch up on previous thoughts:

    You would have inspired me to have a third child just to REALLY try the non-epi version of childbirth, but then I woke up. My kids are 4 and 2 and we are just getting back to a more normal life (can you say one naptime – including the parents – I call it family naptime).

    I love reading about Leta. She is lock-step in front of my daughter.

    I think the Magtag Twittering rocked.

  • http://bushbabe.blogspot.com Bush Babe

    Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh bloody dear… (as my father would say).

    I can see the SHINGLES! have not put you in a lovin’ mood, dear Heather. Quite understandable.

    But you know what I notice every time I come here? That the OVERWHELMING majority of comments are positive and funny and supportive. Maybe you can refocus on them instead of the haters? Much more worth your energy.

    Feel better soon… SHINGLES! suck.

  • Stacey

    I googled this Michelle Yockle person and nothing really came up except another blog (luckythirteenandcounting)with another blogger who she has been harassing. Michelle is clearly mentally unstable.

  • Kylie

    I think I love you.

  • Susan

    Here’s me, on my knees, bowing to your almightyness!! Giggling my ass off again!! :)

  • christine

    OMG!!! I feel your pain. My husband (mid-30s) has Shingles TOO!!! And I’m nursing a 5 month old… So far we’re chicken pox free. Seriously, aren’t they for, like, real old people. Shesh.

  • Ambre

    Your stuff is funny! Don’t people get that? You are just funny plain and simple. And you are also entitled to your opinion. Some readers need to get over themelves and get a sense of humor or just stop reading your blog.

  • Tammy

    I just felt the need to say something nice, since I read your blog EVERY DAY (and cry when I can’t).

    Also, I’m incredibly jealous of Leta’s fabulous wardrobe.

    Don’t let the bastards get to you.

    P.S. Good luck with the shingles.

  • Anonymous

    hahaha dooce, i love this idea. as if i didnt happily give you enough hits already i will be sure to add this page to my visits.

  • http://leball.wordpress.com Anna

    You are a genius! lol, not really, but I love it. Again, people take themeselves too fucken serious. The joke is on them. And how dare them critize the clothes Leta wears! I bet they are 300 pds wearing Mu mu’s as they write that shit!

  • http://igot2shoes.blogspot.com Jenn

    I think I commented just once before along with 74 million other people to cogratulate you on Marlo’s arrival. I love the new site! Good for you! I didn’t read through most of the comments here, but thought 1801 was funny: “You’ve got SHINGLES now but just WAIT 20 YEARS when your HEAD FALLS OFF and you run to tell Jon about it and YOUR LEGS FALL OFF and you’re left dragging your headless torso around with your SUPER SHINGLEY ARMS.

    AND YOUR PRETTY DOGS, TOO! Mwaaaa ha ha ha ha!

    I’ve got the SHINGLES right now, too and I don’t even know what I’d do if I were breastfeeding as my left boob is covered with the rash. It feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing me in the heart right through my nipple. Tourettes is right, man! My empathy to you.

    And, I love everything you write.

  • Rita

    I am really saddened by how much time people are willing to waste on hate. The fact that people hate because someone was able to find some sort of success is just crazy.

    Seriously haters. More love. Try it. It’s nice. Makes you all warm inside. Maybe thaw out that hard core of sick that is stuck inside. I’m pretty sure it will help you get laid more too. And it makes you lose weight. It will grow your penis 3 inches as well. AND, I’ve heard a rumour that if you love more, a guy from Nigeria will give you 3 million dollars.

    All kidding aside? If all those people who spent so much time spewing hate spent even half that time doing something positive for the world, perhaps things might be nicer all around.

  • Melissa

    OMG, I freaking LOVE YOU. lol What a way to deal with it – turn it into a paycheck! I think you, Jon, and your friends are genious! ;) Keep it up, girl!

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/missmuffet Greta

    OMG – seriously why do people feel the need to spew hatred at others? I’m glad you are going to make some money off of them.

    Also you are a horrible person and I hate you. :)

  • Kelly

    I don’t think I’ve ever been so entertained by something in my entire life!

    Thanks for a good laugh to end a long day!


  • Rhonda

    WOW! People suck! I guess I’m one of the lemmings….whatever…fuck her and her overworked brain cell!

    I love you you fucking mormom bitch with a spaghetti legged husband and kids that puke pig vomit! Yah…your may kind of gal!

  • Lesley

    You should call your haters “phelps” because if the actual Phelps family opened a hate school and issued diplomas – which they totally could – your haters wouldn’t even need to enrol to receive one.

  • Lar

    Okay, I just read the whole thing, and that is so, so sad. I am so sorry that people say such horrible things to you! I just don’t understand that at all, and I can’t imagine how much all that crap must hurt.

    I hope the ad money makes it hurt a little less. :)

  • Becky

    love love love!
    keep adding to the hate page…what a great way to start leta and marlo’s college funds!

  • http://www.worldwiderolves.blogspot.com Nancy R

    SHINGLES! My husband had them early in our marriage due to a PAIN IN THE ASS project at work…and they were not fun.

    BUT! As for the nursing…did you see the movie Mean Girls? The part where they cut boob holes out of the Queen Bee’s shirt and she looks down at her damaged shirt and just goes with it…and that starts a boob-hole shirt trend at the school?

    You could totally cut boob holes in an old t-shirt and wear another shirt over it.


  • Alessa

    I love that they are all from the same people, but they never read the site. Not to mention the fact that they constantly complain about all the free time Heather and Jon have, but they have all the time in the world to post insults all day everyday. Just sad. I couldn’t stop laughing.

  • http://beanieandmrt.blogspot.com/ Beanie

    Love it.

    I only read a few of them but what I find funny is the one person who was all, oh I never read your site, just came on today but you are so annoying and then proceeded to reference shit you’ve discussed months ago.

    Hated it so much you spent three hours reading the archives, huh?

  • Kadie In Texas




    You seriously make me laugh everyday, so just forget what the mf’ers say about you and your family… you know its not true, and those of us who follow you know also.

    Monetize the hate, girl!!!!!

  • http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

    Bossy visited, but she must admit: she feels like she needs a shower, now.

  • Lisa Gallien

    Brilliant on so many levels. And funny as hell.

  • Anna Wachtel


    This is way more fun than scrolling through the comments trying to find the asshole of the day.

    I can’t wait to see the photos of your rolling in your piles of cash.


  • http://www.barnabasmonkeypants.com Barnabas Monkeypants

    Man, you’re so lucky. The only hate mail my blog ever got was from my mother.

  • Erin C.

    I think the haters are too stupid to realize that the lovers are going to go read the hate mail and click on as many ads as we can, just so that you do make $ off of them. Idiots – that’s the American Way – I’m happy for you that you can make money off of your life. Why not?

    Also, Marlo is gorgeous and I love the Leta stories. Keep it up!


  • Anonymous

    Wow, those haters take your success really personally. Roll in that money! But don’t get your shingles all over it. <3

  • http://www.accountantbyday.net Melissa

    Love this idea!

    I noticed one of those people remarked to the effect that all the Republicans wised up long ago and stopped reading your site.

    For the record, I’m technically a registered Republican who doesn’t always identify with you politically. Guess what? Like you anyway. Like your attitude, like your writing. Keep it coming, lady!