• Cindi

    I’m in love with that picture of Marlo today. One of these days, when you don’t have a million other things going on, or people spewing crap at you….would you do another photoshop tutorial? I still reference the lovely glow from time to time – and would love to see how you process these days.

  • http://www.jacksbites.com/ Sarah

    I’m convinced that Marlo wasn’t trying to woo your nephew with her wonderfulness and cuteness – alhtough she does have plenty to go around. She was smiling b/c she knew that one day, years from now, she’ll be able to fight back. Just you wait cousin.

  • Chicagomari

    Holy crap, I read that thinking Adam was 18 years old and wondering what was wrong with him and why everyone let him get away with it!

  • girlplease

    Ah yes the finer points of having a baby:

    clogged ducts
    boobs that feel like they are carrying 90lbs each
    red, flamming boobs
    hemorrhids yet not where you would think they are–yes in the no no place
    pelvic floor muscles gone kaput where it kills to sit, stand, walk, etc. Where is my donut pillow?!

    But I learned my lesson the hard way. Never, ever, EVER take a mirror and go “hmm I wonder what it looks like down there.” My god the horror. It looked like a purple balloon animal. Kind of like this but purple: http://www.goodyblog.com/playing_house/images/2008/01/14/2071929701_dc260438fb_2.jpg

  • Krista

    Sounds like a case for The Dog Wisperer. Can’t you just see him, walking next to Adam, doing his, cccha, ccccha next to him. Forget about Coco, Adam needs him far worse.

  • Alicia

    I had to get all momma-bear at the playground on Saturday. Some kid had my 4 year old in an un-provoked chokehold!

    I called the mom out on it (after yanking her away from her cell phone) and she’s all ‘Some people don’t know the difference between playing and fighting.” As my face purpled with rage, the now recovered 4 year old piped up, “Momma, that boy has no manners.” Slight pause and light applause from the other parents.

    So I just gave her the “bitch, please” look and walked away.

  • http://lookedgoodonpaper.com TamiA

    I have a 3 year old boy. We no longer are accepted in Heaven. We have even been banned from Purgatory. Forget about the Spirit World.
    P.S. Boys are a terror.

  • Rebecca

    Just a note for your brother. My favorite little cousin used to do the exact same thing. I vividly remember her in her high chair grabbing for drinking glasses and then slamming them down on the table over and over until they broke. It was stressful taking care of her, even though she is the sweetest and cutest child in the world. She does, however, turn out to have ADHD, and the diagnosis and therapy she’s received has helped her and her parents figure out how to cope with her impulses. I know it’s a highly overdiagnosed disorder, but some kids do have unusual problems controlling their impulses, and it’s worth taking them to doctors.

  • Ilyssa

    Oh my GOD. I would have smacked ADAM upside the head. I can’t believe that…

    Haha, anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling better from the terror of the clogged boob ;)

  • http://www.kristabird.blogspot.com Krista

    Wow. I can’t even believe some of the comments.

    It’s really sad that some of you condone hitting a toddler boy for hitting because he feels jealous and is not able to express himself any other way.

    He’s 18 months old, for Pete’s Sake! Give me a break! It’s a phase, and if his parents work through it the right way, it’s one that he will get over.

    Give the kid (and his parents) a break. I’m sure dad thinks it’s so cute that his son’s behavior is being discussed about this in the first place.

  • http://wwww.blushinghostessentertains.blogspot.com The Blushing Hostess

    Perfect agony, I have been there and I am sorry it happened. My Daughters have the same effect on us, and I always glad.

  • http://www.wombattheinnsane.com Kadi Prescott

    Dude…so sorry about your boob. I got clogged ducts everytime and I had seven kids. I wish teets came with an automatic release valve! Hope you get well soon!

  • Teresa

    Before I forget, I would also liked to be updated on the war on Twitter.

    Anyway, my cousin has a son like this. He’s 15 but he still scares the crap out of me. When he was little he would come over looking all cute and innocent and act like he wanted to hug you and then punch you as hard as he could in your back or your gut. Other times he’d lay into you with his cowboy boots, steel toed cowboy boots, right in the shin. Fun times.

    He also liked to destroy toys that belonged to other children. For that reason I never invited them to anything at my house. Even though he’s 15 he still managed to wreck our playset last summer. He probably weighs close to 250 pounds and decided to stand on the arm of our playset, no one said a word to him. We’ve since had to purchase another one because obviously, he broke it. Wonderful.

  • http://www.wombattheinnsane.com Kadi Prescott

    People are such negative trolls on this site. You want someone to pick on for what you would call “bad mothering?” Come visit my blog. I am so bad that we had Supernanny come help us. LMAO.

  • http://thedemersblog.blogspot.com CourtneyD

    … Wow. Good for Marlo- Any interest in shipping off overseas for peace talks? I am almost convinced that Those Dimples could be the key to world peace… and at the rate she seems to be growing, perhaps also world hunger?!?!

  • http://iloveyoumorethanmost.blogspot.com/ Danielle

    Someone needs to tell Bunnie that there is a difference between and 18 month old and a 5 year old.

  • Christine

    I give you props for not smacking that child back! It’s not that I condone child abuse or anything like that but my 14 month old son came home from daycare the other day with full set of teeth imprints on his little chubby arm from where some brute bit him and I wanted to bite the kid back myself! It hurts me to see him hurt!

    Marlo is adorable with her super dimples and I hope she continues to take the “blows” that life hands her as well as she did this time around!

  • Horrible cousin

    Don’t know how you could possibly read all of these comments. But my cousin’s kids are like that, they have always been like that! One Thanksgiving the youngest one starting hanging on our garage door, and pull it off the track. He is 18 now, and hasn’t been asked back since. Don’t know what advice to give you, ha!

  • http://thelouwdown.blogspot.com/ Cas

    Ahh boys (*sighs*) they truly are a different breed! I didn’t sit down much between 18m and 2 1/2, but he is totally gorgeous (and easy) now at 5. Still glad I had him before my daughter though…

  • http://jamestwohats.com/quartremoon/ Alice

    Isn’t it hard to do all of this site work, raise your children and still take your shifts on Mercy?

    I sat and listened to it when it premiered and didn’t get around to watching the episode until 6am. It is uncanny how much like you the actress looks–the hair, the chin, the little forehead mole–the whole package, really.

  • http://didijusteatthatoutloud.blogspot.com Sue

    Oh great. Now you’re gonna upset the crazy bird ladies of the world AND some crazy support group for people with some weird attention-sucking disorder. Is there nobody you won’t offend in the name of child expoitation? Geesh.

  • http://www.domestiquette.net Wendy

    This has nothing to do with Conan the Destroyer, but I just saw the previous photo post.

    It’s all over for you, Heather! She looks more like Leta in every new picture. I love those big, beautiful eyes.

  • http://laughingthroughthechaos.blogspot.com Sera @ Laughing Through the Chaos

    I love her reaction – that’s just classic!

    And holy moly, woman – there is NO pain like a clogged milk duct. I’d almost rather give birth again. I eventually quit nursing because of chronic clogged ducts.

    Hope they get better soon – so sorry!!!

  • http://www.lonelysidecar.com macduff

    Ok, so your brother is awesome. Now here’s a question for him. If I HYPOTHETICALLY was babysitting a 2-year old girl whose nickname is Baby Thug, and my boyfriend HYPOTHETICALLY put her baby harness on her and had her drag him around the apartment while he rode a child’s tricycle, and I HYPOTHETICALLY videotaped the whole event, should I put that on my blog? Because it’s potentially the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but I’m afraid the parents would be upset.

    I mean, hypothetically.

  • Melissa S

    I have two boys…5 year old and a 9 month old…they are both evil…

  • http://www.princesshairstyles.com hairstyles for girls

    This post is bringing back bad memories! There’s nothing quite like the pain of having your boob ready to explode at any moment. Gosh I’m glad I’m done having kids. :)

  • http://remodelbiggstyle.blogspot.com rbiggs

    Isn’t it amazing how different siblings can be? I’m not only referring to you and your brother, but Leta and Marlo.

  • http://www.sixfeetunderblog.com Tess

    Wow! I have a bratty nephew and I wouldve not been able to laugh about it.

  • Callista

    My younger cousin had a big red spot on the tip of her nose for the first 6 mos of her life, that was so permanent that we thought it was a birthmark. Not the case. My aunt discovered one morning that every time her 4 year-old brother would walk by he would flick her IN THE NOSE! you never know with toddler terrors…

  • http://www.ifeelyaophelia.com Jenna Jean

    I hate boys.

  • Anonymous

    seriously, i think i would have hung that little boy by his ankles from the next best tree. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT!? its not acceptable, it can’t be allowed to progress…. but well, killing a child is not ok either. aren’t any of you fellow readers psychologists!? are some kids just evil, and others (like dear marlo) pure unicorn-y goodness??

  • http://www.myhormonesmademe.com MyHormonesMadeMeDoIt

    WTF, just read some above comments and realized I shouldn’t have even joked about lil’ Adam scaring me, it was a JOKE let me clarify. Sheesh ladies, cut the kid a break.

  • Kristen

    I’ve got my very own destructo-boy. You can tell your brother there is hope. Mine is three and a half now, and he still destroys things just for the heck of it (not to take them apart or see how they work, just to break them) BUT the hitting stopped before he turned two. In other areas of his personality, he’s sweet, cuddly, and very very smart, but damn, he just loves destroying things. It doesn’t even bother him to have his broken toys thrown away. I’m hoping… I’m hoping it stops. But I’ve gotten used to it :/

  • http://www.dubiousma.com dubiousMa

    Opening a baby can of whoop ass….

  • http://www.myquietthoughts.blogspot.com Helen

    My precious grandson is a little like Adam, he gives me loves and strokes my face until I believe he loves me and then he WHACKS me into next week. He is 15 months. HE also loves to destroy laptops, he is wise enough to look at his Papa’s computer with his hands behind his back and says ” ooooh” and the minute Papa leaves the room, he punches that screen with a joyful guffaw.
    I suspect Marlo looked at Adam so as to imprint his visage into her memory, the moment she can walk, she’ll get him back, whilst smiling and showing dimples and everyone will call Adam a big old mean liar for even suggesting that Marlo with the dimples could ever pinch him hard while no one was looking, Girls are smart like that.

  • Deebo

    …ew, mastitis is not my friend. although, im sure it would beg to differ. not fun, my friend.

  • Anonymous

    When I worked in an infant daycare room we used to have things like this happen every day. Biting, pushing, slapping despite our best efforts and without warning. Put 8 babies 8 weeks to a year and a half in one room and you will find babies are violent. We used to have one baby who would fall over and cry before another particularly aggressive child would get a chance to push her over. He would get near her and she would just drop to the floor.

    Our pastor used to say, you don’t have to teach children to be bad, you have to teach them to behave.

  • Nate

    @241. Andra

    #131 was pure sarcasm- that’s all!

    Heather, I also have to say I wish you’d can the hate page. I think it would be better for your health for you to ignore that crap, lady.

    Much love

  • MoxieCrimefighter

    OW! Just had my first plugged duct a few weeks ago…was sure I was dying of exploding boob syndrome. The breast pump is my BFF. :)

  • Kim

    Heather, LOVE your new pixie cut. You look stunning. I’ve been debating about getting one myself as I currently have a very boring grown out bob, but the remorse of cuts like that always get me. You really rock the short boy cuts with your enviable bone structure, though – I liked the one you had before this one too!

    Please tell us more about the war that you have going on over on Twitter … have been reading Monetize the Hate with fascination and horror and am dying to hear more.

    I don’t get the haters – I read you every day and you always brighten my day. Thank you for doing what you do!

  • http://www.theadventuresofsupermom.com Michelle

    WOW!!! She didn’t even cry???

    WTG Marlo! Show HIM who’s BOSS!!!!

  • Anonymous

    I HATE the new hate section. Yeah, it’s a funny thing to JOKE about (monetizing the hate) but to actually go through with it is just really tacky. Really tacky.

    I’m not trying to be really mean and vicious and attack your kids or your chin or anything crazy like that. I’m just trying to be honest..I have been reading your blog for a long time and have enjoyed it. I honestly believe that it recently has changed (not for the good) and you are losing your ability to relate to people. This is not good for a writer. Please come back down to earth.

    I’m not saying that you need to believe all of the nasty comments sent your way, but when countless people are telling you that you come across as whiny and self-absorbed these days, maybe there might be a bit of truth behind it?

    Think about it, please.

  • Anonymous

    I’m with Kathryn… There is a lesson to be learned here. Does anybody see it?

  • Ev

    Heather, Wow, your hair is great! Excellent look for you.

    Little Adam is suffering from testosterone poisoning. It will get better when he’s around 60 years old and starts to have produce more estrogen and less testosterone. Until then, lock up the birds and Marlo.

  • http://reasonablyso.com Emily

    She’s an ace, that Marlo!

  • Ev

    #285 Agi,
    It’s a coyote, not a wolf. And the website is Daily Coyote.net.

  • http://kristanhoffman.com/ Kristan

    LOL. Are you sure you were in the room when Marlo was conceived, then? Because that is so NOT how you would have handled someone smacking you upside the head!

  • Anonymous


    Can’t wait to see what the haters have to say.

    You rock it.

  • http://www.lorenadavis.blogspot.com Lorena

    Heather, I love that you are That Bird Figurine Lady.

    But I wonder…would it have been a different story if he’d tried to injure one of your HIPPOS? :)

  • Tasha

    LOVE LOVE LOVE the new hair! I’m getting mine cut on Friday and I was also thinking of going for something a la Michelle Williams. You look gorgeous.