Posting for the next couple of days is going to be light as we attend several engagements around my Granny Boone’s funeral. All nine of her children have gathered from different corners of the country, including many of their own children, so there are like thousands and thousands of Boones running around telling fart jokes, comparing cleavage, and blaming Granny for all of their passive-aggressive tendencies, like oh my god Uncle Timmy YOU DID NOT JUST BRING UP THAT APPLE PIE STORY AGAIN. I’m not going to repeat that story here except to say that we have heard it a kadrillion times, and the point of it is that life is unfair and GRANNY MADE IT SO. Except I’m guessing that growing up poor in Kentucky, working three jobs, raising ten kids (one who died in infancy) and having to boil water every morning on the stove to take a bath… that may explain why she overreacted when he stole a piece of pie.

I love this family, no question, but if a psychiatrist got us all into one room he’d have to wear a helmet and wield a gun.

I spent several hours with them yesterday, and I have so much to say and can’t wait to get around to writing it. But right now I want to thank you, you who come here and read what I write. It is because of you that I was able to help fly out many of the cousins and grandchildren who would otherwise be unable to attend this funeral. And I don’t know how to tell you just how much it means to me and this family. That because of you and you and you, you in Vancouver, and you in Pittsburgh, and you in Edina, Minnesota, because you come here and share the ups and downs of this totally Wackadoo Family, several grandchildren get to come and say goodbye to their Granny. And the magnitude and meaning of that really blows my mind.

Thank you. I don’t say it nearly enough. Thank you so much.

In the meantime, here’s a chuckle:

  • Cláudia Silva

    Thank YOU!

  • Lee-Anne, Toronto

    A little appreciation is always appreciated. Thanks Dude – love you too. :)

  • Heather

    I’ll be thinking of you and your family. I hope you have a great time together, even with the circumstances.

  • Fredda


    I love your new haircut. Very delicate and lovely. Less is more. fs

  • LaurieAnne

    Thanks for being you, Heather. Hope you and your ca-razy family hold each other up during this tough time.

    Marlo has the most ja-dorable giggle!!!

  • Paula

    I don’t know about those chuckles. They seemed more like “I’m about to start crying if you don’t stop.”

    I hate to be tickled.

    That Marlo’s a real cutie, though, but I don’t think she was chuckling.

  • http://psychicgeek.com witchypoo

    I’m thrilled that you are in a position to help out family members, and doubly that you have the grace to do so.
    We come back and click because you are a totally amazing writer.
    I hope there’s lots of pie at the wake.

  • Angie

    You make such a difference in my life, seriously. Your posts make me laugh, sometimes make me cry – always make me look forward to the next one. Thank you for thanking your readers — but it’s just awesome to know a great big family gets to be together to say goodbye to their matriarch. I remember when my gramma died how lucky we all felt to be able to gather everyone close.

  • Ashley

    Oh my gosh, you just made me cry a little AT WORK, Heather B. Armstrong. That’s how I always refer to you when I’m reading this site and my husband asks what I’m doing. Like hello, I’m reading the Very Important Blog of Heather B. Armstrong. Duh. I say it just like that too.

    Anyways, my thoughts are with you & your fam as you go through what is undoubtedly an awful time. xoxo

  • Lisa

    U mentioned Edina mn. How did u know I read? J/k
    Srsly, sorry for ur loss, fun memories.

  • Leslie

    Baby! SQUEEE!

    I am very sorry to hear about your grandmother. I lost mine last October, and it was definitely very hard seeing my mom and her eight siblings in so much pain. That was definitely the hardest part for me.

    But at the same time, it was great to spend time with my large crazy southern family as well. :)

  • http://ashleighburroughs.blogspot.com/ Ashleigh Burroughs

    It really is a community, isn’t it?

  • Trish

    Vancouver thanks you right back, Heather. I’m so glad you were able to bring the family together for Granny Boone.

    I bet those girls and your hubby make things just a tad bit better during times like these. You are awesome. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

  • Stephanie B

    You are most welcome. Our most sincere condolences to you and your Wackadoo family. Truly.

  • Jane

    Deepest condolences to you and your family Heather. I have read everything you have written on this blog and it has brought me information, laughs, tears… so thank YOU.

  • Anonymous

    What?!? Not out here in Las Vegas? We didn’t help? This is just like Romper Room all over agin. UNFOLLOW!

    *Just kidding. I thought you might like a little humor right now.*

  • Cris

    xoxo :)

  • Meg

    Glad your whole family gets to be together during this difficult time.

    Marlo’s dimples are amazing!

    And…the “hate” section…..love it! I hope you make a boat load of money off of those crazy comments!

  • http://krystyna81.blogspot.com krystyna81

    Sometimes, it seems like families only get together for weddings or funerals. Here’s hoping that the next occassion is a joyous one.

    And bravo to you for helping bring the family together. Truth be told there are not many people out there who would do that. You are truly honoring your grandmother.

  • Anonymous

    All the ass kissers on here is soooo ANNOYING!!! It must be great to be you (yeah, right. Crazy ass mommy blogger literally). You think you are a celebrity and you supposedly are raking in so much cash that you can fly family members in! WOW! IF it weren’t for your ass kissers reading this shit then yeah, you’d just go back to living your dumb ass life with your gay husband and perfect children. Come back down = your head has gotten way to big!

  • http://www.jessiebess.blogspot.com Amy

    Your first post about your Granny made me cry because it made me remember MY Granny. And that’s what we called her… Granny. She’s the one who said to us (when we were fighting for her attention by saying, granny, granny, GRANNY! and then, being 5, forgetting what we’d want to say) “well, it must have been a lie!” And sometimes if we were in her way in the kitchen she often known to yell, “get outta my wagon!” (In swedish, get out of my way is something like du er ie vagon). She was known to break out in song at the mention of any word that might remind her of one.

    I miss her more than words can say.

    So, I’m sending lots of heart felt thoughts to you and your family. Have a wonderful time remembering your Granny. And thank YOU for helping me to remember mine. Hugs to you…

  • http://indiebear.com/patty Patty Anne

    RIP Granny Boone. It’s great that your family could come together to celebrate the life of your grandma. You were so thoughtful to help your them make the journey.

    P.S. Love Marlo’s laugh! So adorable!

  • Rachel M.

    <3 to all of you.

  • http://brandistrand.wordpress.com brandi

    Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. I am happy that this little site was able to bring your family together during this time.

    Keep your head up and remember the good ole times :)

  • j.cro

    You’re welcome. And thank you for making us laugh, no matter what the haters say.

  • Anonymous

    I am very sorry for your loss. Glad that you are surrounded by family during what is surely a difficult time. All the best.

  • http://modadimagno.blogspot.com Lori Magno

    I am sorry for your loss, but am happy for the family gathering and spending time together.

    And we can’t wait for new stories to hit the blog.

  • http://www.generallygemma.co.uk Gemma

    Hey, you forgot us across the pond!!

    Sending thoughts out to you all. The death of close family members is such a horrid, horrid thing.

  • http://aredeaf.blogspot.com Coelecanth

    I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope that all of your extended family found peace and comfort from each other.

    I’d say “you’re welcome” but it’s a reciprocal relationship: you provide me with laugher and tears and my RDA of whacked out haters and I provide you with page views. Even-steven as far as I’m concerned.

    All the best.

  • lindsayc

    How wonderful that you can help your family out. May you all find peace in being together during this sad time. RIP Granny Boone.

  • nerr

    just want to say, team dooce here all the way from malaysia :D

  • http://singlemompenelope.blogspot.com Penelope

    So glad you were able to help those who would otherwise have been unable to attend. Thanks for a heartfelt blog, one that always elicits emotion. You’re awesome.

  • http://onepingonly.blogspot.com Maura

    I’m sorry about your grandmother. Thank you for sharing her with us. Much love to you and your entire family as you celebrate her life. With or without apple pie.

  • http://www.yogabitch.blogspot.com/ kristin k

    This got me all teary eyed too. You thanking US made me think about all you have given ME. That’s what I love so much about this site. It’s like this perfect balance of give and take. I just LOVE being one of your sheep, O’ shepherd.

  • http://www.topbabytravelstrollers.com/ Baby Travel Strollers

    Its strange the things that need to happen to bring a family all together like that isn’t it? It sounds like an interesting mix of family you’ve got there :)

  • http://www.littlebabyfeet.com sarah

    You’re welcome, and thanks for sharing your life with us!! You’re fun.

  • http://www.beckygrant.com becky grant

    My prayers with you and your family!

    I’d rather have a “crazy” family than a strict and cold type, like I grew up with lol


  • Vee

    Thanks for sharing your life and your family despite all the ugly emails and comments you get.
    Many, many hugs to you and your loved ones. I’m so gald we can help in a small way.

  • Anonymous

    Don’t forget about those of us in Hamburg, Germany! :)

  • http://mamaintranslation.blogspot.com/ Lilian – Mama(e) in Translation

    I’m really, really sorry about your grandma. The photo of her that you posted makes me think that she must have been a lovely person.

    You don’t really have to thank your readers, it’s a pleasure to read your blog and I think it’s awesome that you can make a living this way. More power to you and good for your family/cousins!! It’s really lovely that you helped to fly people out to the funeral.

    Like other people already said, it’s a bittersweet time and it feels strange to say “Enjoy it,” but that’s precisely what I want say. That and “You’re welcome” — I’m glad to know that as a regular reader I have a teeny tiny part in the “family reunion” that is taking place with your granny’s funeral. Yes, enjoy it. (and please come tell us all you can about it after it’s over, deal?)

    P.S. Oh, and I think your aunt (photo posted earlier) looks a lot like her mama. (your sister doesn’t look too much like you, though! ;-) .

  • http://semidailyinsanity.blogspot.com/ Inza

    Thank YOU for sharing your life with us. Thank you for making so many of us feel not so alone in this world with the things we are going through. You mean as much to your readers as we do to you :)

  • Amanda

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    I am glad that lots of your family gets to be there though, and that your accent exists again. ;)

  • http://mostlatestvegetable.blogspot.com Loris

    I’m so sad for you, Heather! How great Granny Boone got to meet both of your girls. Neither of my still-living-when-I-was-born grandparents saw me grow into my teens, and I often wonder what Grammy Dryfhout would think of my wearing her wedding veil (1932!) four years ago. Would Granddaddy Sledge make jokes about my near-clonelike resemblance to his eldest daughter, Aunt Martha? In my case, it sucks to have parents who were both the youngest by many years, and then married late. I barely knew my grandparents when they died, and when they did, it really didn’t register because we lived overseas and I’d only seen them five or six times in my life.

    It is a precious thing when a large family can reunite, even in times of grief. I’m glad you’re doing well enough to fly people in. I hope I will too someday, but I’m young and there’s no need to make that much yet.

    And Anonymous #407: Go away, asshead. No matter what you think of Dooce, save it for when she’s not fresh from a funeral.

    Chiming in from Charleston, by way of Pensacola, by way of Taiwan.

  • juls

    I only remember the death of one grandfather of mine, everyone else died before I was born and my parents didn’t let me attend his funeral (though I’ve had already seen his body taken away from his home to the mortician) but I have to say that the chance to meet family and to say goodbye (as I did six years later to my father) to the one gone into heaven, meant the world to me. I’m thinking of you and your family.

  • http://www.indianahifu.com HIFU

    best wishes and keep up the good work with this blog. we’ll be waiting for more goodies!

  • Sue

    Dammit, Heather. Quit making me cry at work.

    warm thoughts and hugs to all of Granny Boone’s family.

  • http://memoirs-of-a-fat-chick.blogspot.com/ Grace Matthews

    Be careful now, you might lose your biggest bitch in the universe title.
    Seriously though, I am really sorry to hear about your granny. My warm, fuzzy thoughts go out to you and your family.
    We should be thanking you for all the laughs. We woulddn’t be here otherwise, so I guess you should really thank yourself for being so funny.

  • Nicole s

    Thank you for all the laughs and smiles. Sorry for your loss.

  • Jennifer NOT from Edina

    Pah. Why is it always Edina they pick? North metro is WAY cooler than Edina, sheesh. Like … St Francis! Yay, go St Francis, MN! the place I live! :-)

  • Vanessa

    it’s funny how all we’re really doing is reading what you have to say for our entertainment, yet all these people benefit from it. i guess it works both ways! we’re not even putting in any effort, just enjoying your blog, and you get money to bring your family together, that’s pretty cool :)