Posting for the next couple of days is going to be light as we attend several engagements around my Granny Boone’s funeral. All nine of her children have gathered from different corners of the country, including many of their own children, so there are like thousands and thousands of Boones running around telling fart jokes, comparing cleavage, and blaming Granny for all of their passive-aggressive tendencies, like oh my god Uncle Timmy YOU DID NOT JUST BRING UP THAT APPLE PIE STORY AGAIN. I’m not going to repeat that story here except to say that we have heard it a kadrillion times, and the point of it is that life is unfair and GRANNY MADE IT SO. Except I’m guessing that growing up poor in Kentucky, working three jobs, raising ten kids (one who died in infancy) and having to boil water every morning on the stove to take a bath… that may explain why she overreacted when he stole a piece of pie.

I love this family, no question, but if a psychiatrist got us all into one room he’d have to wear a helmet and wield a gun.

I spent several hours with them yesterday, and I have so much to say and can’t wait to get around to writing it. But right now I want to thank you, you who come here and read what I write. It is because of you that I was able to help fly out many of the cousins and grandchildren who would otherwise be unable to attend this funeral. And I don’t know how to tell you just how much it means to me and this family. That because of you and you and you, you in Vancouver, and you in Pittsburgh, and you in Edina, Minnesota, because you come here and share the ups and downs of this totally Wackadoo Family, several grandchildren get to come and say goodbye to their Granny. And the magnitude and meaning of that really blows my mind.

Thank you. I don’t say it nearly enough. Thank you so much.

In the meantime, here’s a chuckle:

  • Kathy Sue

    I am sorry for your loss, and glad that “we” could help you.. Great giggles from the Marlo.

  • Tripping Daisy

    I recently lost my grandmother, so I kind of know how it feels to lose,yet rejoice in the memory of one crazy lady. Maybe they are somewhere comparing boob stories? I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for a great blog, you never fail to bring a smirk to my face.

  • http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/ zenmomma

    Love ya Heather! I’m off to click some ads for Granny Boone. :o )

  • http://curlynel.blogspot.com Chanel


    you’re welcome. you deserve it.

    I would love to eat apple pie out of Marlo’s dimple. scrumptious

  • http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com Mama M.

    I’m sorry to hear of your Granny’s passing…but is sounds as if your family is doing a fabulous job of celebrating her life! Good for you! And good for you for making sure that everyone could get to say good-bye to her.

  • Ev

    You’re welcome, Heather. And thank you for sharing your family with us.

  • http://victorytrue.blogspot.com/ Chriss

    So sorry for your loss.

  • Angel Blazer

    And me in Ashland, OR. stuck in my cubistall!! I’ve been reading your site since 2002 and its been nothing but a pleasure to follow you and your family.

    Now, I’m off to go click on some ads, especially the monetizing the hate page.

  • lisa

    i am so sorry about your grandmother. please know my thoughts are with you and your family.

  • http://www.notjustaboutwee.com AboutWee

    My condolences to you & your beautiful family. I was so glad to read that you were able to fly the family across for the funeral & memorials. What a lovely gesture & more importantly what a truly wonderful lesson to your daughters – how to spend your money in a way that will benefit others. Indeed a touching tribute to your Granny too that her unselfish & generous legacy lives on.
    Take care & sending you strength at this time…. all the way from Melbourne, Australia. (I know my city was not mentioned, but I’ll still keep reading!)
    AboutWee xo

  • Anjana

    You’re welcome Dooooooooce – glad we could help! Just keep up the good work…

  • http://mami2alittlebalkan.wordpress.com/ Katie

    You’re welcome… :-)

    Also, does anyone else think Marlo looks a lot like Leta at that age? Or is that just me?

  • http://mcgoogleland.blogspot.com/ Mrs. McGoogle

    My condolences. Granny is smiling proudly down on all of you. Even Uncle Tommy.

  • http://mcgoogleland.blogspot.com/ Mrs. McGoogle

    My condolences. Granny is smiling proudly down on all of you. Even Uncle Tommy.

  • http://www.mytrendytykes.com Linda @ My Trendy Tykes

    I am sorry to hear of your loss.

  • Sunny

    Your site helps make my day. I’m glad it’s returning the favor :)

  • http://www.thedocdidnttellme.blogspot.com Jay @ TheDocDidntTellMe

    I had a Grandma Boone, Heather. She was my great-grandmother and her daughter, Frankie Mae, was my dear grandma and I was so, so sad when she died. My son was four months old when she passed away unexpectedly 17 years ago, but she’ll never be forgotten because I named my son after her (maiden name) – Boone. Is it an awesome name, or what?! I’m a great fan of your opinions (and writing – oh, and photography, plus your husband’s work) and always find a laugh or 12 when I visit the blog. But reading about Granny Boone made me cry. God bless. She’s in heaven now with Frankie Mae and it’s my hope that they’re beaming down smiles of goodness and blessings on us all. Amen.

  • Linnie

    Hey Heather–here’s hoping that even the Haters feel good about their part in helping your family come together. Everybody has a Granny.

  • http://www.calamityjill.com Calamity Jill

    This got me all warm inside.

    I swear, it’s not gas.

  • http://www.barefootkitchenwitch.com jayne

    I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, because when I read your “cycles” post, I mistakenly read about your Granny Boone’s passing “about an hour ago” as “about a year ago” because I read too fast at times. I’m so, so sorry, for reading it wrong and for not offering my sincere condolences til now.

    My thoughts are with all of you. (Though it’s small comfort, offering the thoughts of a moron.)

    I’m glad, though, to know that my moronic reading (however rushed it may be) may have contributed in some small way to helping you bring family to Utah for to say goodbye. Granny Boone must be so proud of you.

  • Christina

    Hi, first time poster, but Ive lurked behind the scenes for…years now. I’d like to send out my warmest thoughts to your family in this hour of pain. I also just wanted to take a moment to do something I havent had the guts to do in the past, and I dont know how in depth you read your comments. I just wanted to let you know I think you are an absolutly amazing person, and you have a beatiful family. Seriously, I love getting up in the morning and in my non-mommy time, with my first cup of coffee in hand I generally pop your website open first. I applaude you in the courage that you have to continue posting the most private things about yourself and your family ( yes I have horrid grammer) even when people have called you every name in the book, made up a few f their own and questioned every movement you have made in your life. I also adore you for having the courage to talk about what it was like for you to have to deal with post-partum depression. We dont have enough people out there saying, this is real, this hurts, it fucking sucks. I have a dibilitating depression that some mornings, I have to talk myself out of bed ( but with 4 kids, trust me I have to find the way :) ).

    Anyhow, sorry rambling….I think your an amazing person Heather and your crew….adore you all

  • workroom

    aw that last chuckle ended on such a sad face… a face that suddenly understood the enormity of life, death, and all of the difficult periods in between… how dare you transfer that kind of aura from your damaged self to your innocent babe’s right underarm!

    you must be the worst mother ever.

    ps: ; P

  • carol c

    wow. that’s really an honour to assist during this trying time, even though I feel like we haven’t done much. my condolences to you and your family. I hope you will be able to find peace during this difficult time.

  • Joanna

    Off to click a few extra ad’s, you know, just to show some support :)

    After having attended way too many of my own family’s funerals, I know how much the support of other family members means. Even if all you can do to get through the day is tell jokes about each other and eat cold cuts from that tray that someone’s deacon’s wife brought you, it’s enough to start the healing in a positive light.

  • robyn

    I love the stories about your family….what a fun bunch to hang out with! I’m glad everyone is together and talking about your granny’s life. And what a strange concept that the internet was partially responsible for that? Hmm. Gotta love that.

    re: Momversation. I have a favourite child. I’ll admit it, but I won’t admit which one is my fave. :-)

  • Kat’s Mom

    I meant to offer my condolences earlier, Heather. So sorry about the loss of your Granny Boone.

  • christine

    thinking about you from a teeny weeny rural village in ontario, canada. you entertain me on a daily basis through your words, you inspire me with your honesty and make me feel like less of a one-off than just a regular mom taking each day as it comes. glad you are able to be surrounded by family at the moment. i only wish my own grandmother could have met my baby before her time was up…

  • Anonymous

    Thinking of you and your big, loving family. I’m so glad that so many are able to come share their grief and stories. I know what a difference it makes in the face of loss.

  • http://blessourhearts.blogspot.com Ms. Moon

    Ah hell, girl. You’re a writer. You get paid for writing and that’s only fair and right. No pun intended.
    Celebrate your granny. She sounds like she was one hell of a gal.

  • http://www.ninesandquines.typepad.com libby @ ninesandquines

    you are welcome and thank YOU for sharing your gift of writing with us….

  • the niffer

    Thank you, Heather, for sharing your life with us. I’m so glad you were able to bring your family together to celebrate Granny’s Boone’s life.

  • http://www.ninesandquines.typepad.com libby @ ninesandquines

    you are welcome and thank YOU for sharing your gift of writing with us….

  • courtney

    I’ve only recently discovered your blog, now it’s become one of my must clicks every morning when I get to work. When I read your posts, you can totally imagine you saying them, even though I’ve never met you, I feel as though we’re having a conversation…

    I’ll be clicking on some adds too!

    you’re welcome from Sydney, Australia…

  • Deb S.

    No, Heather – thank YOU. You have so many times made me laugh, especially when I’ve had a really crappy day. Very sorry to hear about your grandmother.

  • http://www.thedoggymommy.com/ Diana, The Doggy Mommy

    Your Welcome!

    I can’t wait to hear all the stories! I could feel them swirling around in your head! LOL

    Thanks for the chuckle.


  • Erika

    What goes around…

    Heather, since you are so willing to put yourself out there…it is only fair that we help to bring your family to you. Good thoughts for you and yours, and may many a chuckle find their way into your time together with them!

  • http://andreavanderkooij.com Andrea

    You are very welcome. I look forward to my little ‘blog-break’ everyday, and you are always at the top of my list. And while we are on the subject of thanks, I’d like to thank you for your support of hand-made items from etsy etc. I was reminded of how great that is by reading your ‘hate’ section (which often makes me faintly queasy, I don’t know how you stand it, but I admire you like crazy for making the haters work for you. That’s why I read your ‘hate’ section, so that I can contribute to your monetizing of it) Anyhow, one of them was ranting about your ‘expensive’ throw pillows (how dare you buy nice things!) and it made me want to thank you personally for helping those people who pour their passion, hard work, and creativity into beautiful handmade things by BUYING THEM. As someone who makes beautiful, time intensive and therefore expensive things, and would like to make a living from them – I thank you from the bottom of my hydro bill.

    Sorry for the non-related tangent, but its been in my head for a couple of days now, and I just wanted to let you know.

    Peace and support to you and your family in this hard time.

  • Anonymous

    That’s a great way to use the money. Well done.

  • http://www.thirdstory-ies.blogspot.com kristin

    You are most welcome. Thank you for your stories.

  • Amanda from California

    PITTSBURGH! I go to school here! And I’m so happy to help your family out. Best wishes in a difficult time.

    Also: CAPCHA! Invented by a professor here at my school. Wee!

  • http://mynext50.blogspot.com mynext50.blogspot.com

    All I have done is think about my Mom Mom since I read about your Granny. She was the best. Thank you for bringing her to my mind.

    Mom Mom was only 43 when I was born, and I have an older cousin by my mom’s youngest sister (ponder that one for awhile).

    I spent as much time at my Mom Mom’s as possible from the time I was born. I loved everything about her. She had silver hair. She never yelled at me, ever. She made me whatever I wanted to eat, which was always spaghetti, whenever I wanted it. We even took baths together, a couple of inches of water became the deep end when she got in, she was fat. And after she got out, she let me close the sliding glass doors to the tub, lie down and slide really fast back and forth to make tidal waves. She didn’t even care if it hit the ceiling, now that’s a great grandmother.

  • http://tsarb.blogspot.com Deb

    How wonderful that your family could come together to celebrate your granny’s life. I am sorry for your loss and I know you will all miss her. She will still have a presence in your lives, just differently. Little things will remind you of her and that is a great comfort.

    To all the people who write you nasty emials, poo on them. These acts of kindness and love towards your family is the Heather I see everyday in your writing.

    Deb in Syracuse, NY

  • Russ Weasel Laughlin

    I don’t know if you’ve seen the new hospital drama “Mercy” on NBC, but one of the lead actresses, Taylor Schilling could TOTALLY PLAY YOU, in the Lifetime/Oxygen movie about your life…

    Not a dead ringer, but she has a very Dooce quality. Just my two cents.

  • http://www.d3voiceworks.com d3 voiceworks

    what a laugh! resounding! “and now, i’m done. game face on.”

  • http://asomewhattallgirl.com robinv

    family…. cool family, that’s what you are like to us.

  • helen

    Oh the dimples in action!!!

  • Carolyn

    Don’t forget Sioux Falls, SD.

    Also, I saw this on the Huff and thought you’d enjoy it.


  • Amy in CT

    I’m so glad that in some small way your readership has helped in your family’s grief. It helps to have such beautiful reminders of young life all around you!

  • http://www.gooseberried.com Gooseberried

    Oh my, she has the cutest little laugh ever! Adorable! :)

  • http://www.fosterhood.tumblr.com fosterhood

    I’m going to click on some more ads, just for you! R.I.P. to your granny….