• Ellen

    This girl from Pittsburgh says, “You’re welcome, but thank YOU even more!”
    xoxo

  • http://www.themomclaire.blogspot.com Claire

    I have so many crazy memories with my cousins like that!
    So sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother.

  • http://scratch.typepad.com Rachel

    I am sorry life is so “IN A THORN BUSH”. This is the wrong place for it, but that group protrait Jon set up and shot is beautiful and you guys should be very proud.

  • http://notbychoice.tumblr.com/ Kristina

    Yeah, I’ve lived a version of that story. Only I peed my pants. In front of the entire 8th grade. But no one tells that story because I’ve done away with all the witnesses…

  • http://labradoris.weebly.com/blog-entries.html Labradoris

    It’s like your life has tumbled into a thorn bush? Huh.

    I once went flying headfirst off my mountain bike into a tree, if that makes you feel better. No injuries, but I did literally end up hugging the tree. My cycling buds were able to call me “treehugger” all day long.

  • Maiken

    I can barely imagine the spots of pain and relief…wow!

  • http://remodelbiggstyle.blogspot.com rbiggs

    Your life should not be in a thorn bush. You will find a way out and somehow you will make it work for you too. We will all be waiting on the other side of the thorn bush.

  • Kathryn

    so sorry to hear about your grandmother

    and if you don’t mind, I am totally stealing that analogy – I lost my mum in August and when people ask how I am doing (aside: why they ask that question I don’t know because really? how in the hell do you THINK I am doing??)I reply “fine” and they seem all disappointed in that answer

    from now on it’s “life in a thorn bush right now, but thanks for asking”

  • Ellen

    That’s goofy – I’m responding to one post and I get bumped to the other!

    In Pittsburgh, we’d call it a ‘jaggerbush’
    as in:
    Sorry, I can’t take a meeting with you or drive you to the mall, I’m in the jaggers right now.

  • Anonymous

    Hilarious!!! Made me LOL really hard!

  • http://confuseddildo.blogspot.com Katy

    How in tarnation did you grow up in Tennessee without seeing a mountain?

  • Judith

    I’m very sorry your gran died. But it’s wonderful that you could help bringing everyone together for the funeral.
    Mine died 9 months, and I keep missing her. We all (as far as possible) came together the same evening and had a kind of impromptu wake, and it was just wonderful to be with each other. We all were very sad, but most also had the feeling that it had come at the right time for her, so there was also a certain weird kind of happy mixed in.

    Thorns and roses, I guess.

  • http://www.creepymommy.blogspot.com Creepy Mommy

    That would be ass over tea kettle and I have a myriad of stories much like this one! Also, your cousin is smokin’ hot!

  • Anonymous

    I tried to post a comment on the other entry, but I can here: I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother.

  • Trickygringo

    Opps, didn’t close your cousine Nate’s img tag :) The rest of the text is part of the pic tag. I hate it when I do that, bet you do as well.

  • Jenifer

    Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. You’re in our thoughts and prayers. xoxo

  • http://www.blushinghostessentertains.blogspot.com The Blushing Hostess

    Oddly, many of my days leave me feeling this is exactly what has just happened to me :)

    I will laugh about this for a long time – but not at your expense!

  • http://tremormomma.blogspot.com Lena

    My heart breaks for you and yet you are still making me laugh! What spirit you have.

  • http://meganbeth.com/blog Megan Beth

    I feel like life is saying to me ‘fuck you’ right now, I fear the thorn bush is next.

  • http://www.karigranda.blogspot.com Anonymous

    I would like to see that on an episode of Dora, it might make up for some of the annoying repetitive music, although with the shape of her head and the colors of her clothes she might look more like a hairy Mardi gras-esque football. (sorry dora, no bashing intended).

  • Claudia

    Heather,

    My sweet dear.

    YOU GOT THROUGH NATURAL CHILD BIRTH.

    You can get through this.

    If it’s any consolation, all of us whose lives are sucking it up right now, are right there with you. We can change the dirty diaper that is life together. With lavender baby powder and everything.

    XOXOXOXO,
    Claudia

  • robyn

    Ohhhhhh my life is in a thorn bush right now too! I feel your prickly pain! xo

  • http://www.exschutz.blogspot.com Heather

    The best rear-ending I’ve ever seen is when my husband was backing out of a space in a parking lot and wasn’t really paying attention, and hit another driver who was also backing out of a space and not paying attention. Their back bumpers collided, they both stopped, got out of their cars, looked at their rear ends and neither could distinguish the other dents from the one that had just happened, shook hands, got back in their cars and drove away.

    I wish that had happened to you.

  • Cris

    I know you didn’t but please just lie and say you made up that story.

    Sympathy ouch.

  • http://wtfatherhood.com Not Steve McQueen

    In the rss everything after the picture is a hyperlink to the flickr photo. I like the effect of MAKING SURE EVERYTHING YOU SAY LINKS TO THAT PICTURE or whatnot. Enjoy your photos and site.

    Ha and your captcha is “boy’s” and “mommies”
    You guys think of everything.

  • Anonymous

    Hubba, hubba, hubba!

  • Jane

    Are there ANY unattractive or boring people in your family?

  • http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2009/10/heron-now.html Jacquie

    I might have to borrow that, I have an extremely difficult time coming up with analogies or metaphors or adjectives or whathaveyou that do not contain offensive swear words.

    And I like the idea that people will probably think I’m too weird (or brilliant) to question me about my use of this unconventional phrase that perfectly explains my life at the moment.

  • http://www.millatimes.com Milla

    sounds like the perfect title for your next best seller: My Life in the Thorn Bush. HOT!

  • kate

    I am so sorry about your Granny. You were so blessed to have had her around to know your kids. I won’t say it’s going to going to get better, but it will get less bad.

  • http://www.dreamdust.co.uk sarah doow

    I’m sorry about the metaphoriness of it, but that story was hilarious.

  • Anonymous

    I cant wait to use that. Nate is handsome and you have a great looking set of aunts and uncle’s in the family picture you posted earlier. Granny Boone would be proud.

    PS my word verification for this post is “pulls that”. Hmmmmm…..

  • http://www.thelocalsloveit.com Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt

    If there’s a place you got to go
    I’m the one you need to know
    I’m the Map
    I’m the Map
    I’m the Map
    If there’s a place you got to get
    I can get you there I bet
    I’m the Map

    Might help you find your way out of the thorn bush.

  • Cindy

    I want to see a picture of that hair!!!

  • Holy

    So sorry for your loss. If it’s any consolation, Nate’s hair looks like Alfalfa’s.
    A very cute Alfalfa!

  • Me2

    Is it just me or is your site down? Every time I try to go to dooce.com I get a weird page of code gibberish. I got here by googling dooce, then had to go to your About page then had to go to Archives and keep going to Newer posts until I finally arrived, weary and footsore (okay, maybe fingersore). Now, God knows I love you and your site but that’s asking a lot to get my fix. Any suggestions? It’s been happening for about 3 days now.

  • http://www.aliflegal.blogspot.com/ Ali

    I spent time scrolling through your “hate” page and have to say that I am shocked that people are so mean. I am aware that people are dumb, but seriously… people actually take time out of their day to be that rude? How do you let it not get to you?

    I’m a fan of your blog. I actually met your husband when I worked at Axiom. Technically, we didn’t “meet” … I was the receptionist (2005) and when he came in to see a friend, I about pooped my pants. It was the closest I’d ever been to a celebrity. Now, my family and I live in South Carolina and I’m spending my life listening to people who sound like you. You’re a great Mom and talented writer.

  • http://www.myhormonesmademe.com MyHormonesMadeMeDoIt

    Oh no, that is not the metaphor anyone wants for life right now. I would say hang in there, or time heals or one of those sentiments, but they all seem completely lame. So…I’m sorry.

  • http://www.abellevie.com Kitty

    Oh Lordy! That’s a great visual! I tell you when I can breath again!

  • http://www.theprimamomma.com The Prima Momma

    I may be guilty of similar exploits.
    I hope things start feeling better soon.

    Ha – my words are wounded stoppage

  • http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/ Serial

    I know we’re not supposed to swear too much on this site, but, um, Fuck, dude. That sounds shitty.

  • http://tfchouse.wordpress.com Capricorn Cringe

    I am stealing “I lack the proper adjective.” Just so you know, in case you want to sue me or something :)

    The way you find humor in most situations? That’s what will get you through anything. And everything.

  • http://mightymarce.blogspot.com Marcy

    I am in utter awe of people like you and Alice Bradley who, in the midst of immense sadness and pain, are able to still make the rest of us laugh.

    I hope things get better for you soon.

  • http://www.happinessontap.com Elizabeth_K

    You are so funny despite your family’s great loss. Glad you survived that long ago fall!

  • Renee

    I truly hope that your being in a thornbush has nothing to do with those sad, sad internet trolls. Easy for me to say, I know, but “they’re not worth it.” Truly.

  • http://www.bytheseatofourpants.com Jasie VanGesen

    Your adolescence sounds epic. Mine is so dull in comparison.

  • Megs

    Priceless.

  • http://www.cathscorner.blogspot.com/ cath

    oh that was just what i needed. yes. the thornbush is a perfect way to describe life at this moment in time. i, too, remember my first visit to utah … but i grew up in alberta, canada, so i didn’t see mountains – i saw foothills.

  • http://www.comparativechildhood.com Heather T

    This was a great read. You have encouraged me that every awkward teenage girl has a crazy older cousin who likes to pick on her. Except for me, the teasing never stopped. I’m almost 40 for god’s sake.

    btw, isn’t surreal an adjective?

  • RichardK

    You better be keeping backups of your blog because if WordPress or whatever you use were to go out of business, the world’s Gross Good Writing and Fun Product would suffer a massive double-digit loss. I’m having a boring day — perhaps because I’m a tired today — and PRESTO! your blog post wakes me up.

    Did I use the right adjectives?