Today is one huge, action-packed, hell of a day here at the Blurbodoocery! And look, not even two sentences in, and I’m going to go on a tangent: if you’re going to start a small business — let’s say an S Corp or an LLC — and you’re brainstorming ideas for a name, you might want to cross off all the five-syallable suggestions. Because no one, I mean, NO ONE can say Blurbodoocery the right way. When someone at the bank starts to pronounce it, I shake my head vigorously and ask them to spare the small children, because it always ends up coming out sounding like one of the following:
And when they ask me how to pronounce it, I just say, “Let’s call it The Boob Company.” And then I just stand there blinking in silence, letting them imagine just what the hell I’m selling.
Today we’re launching a huge new section of this website, something we’ve been developing for several months with my beloved partner Jon at the helm, Ben Brown and Katie Spence from XOXCO who performed the majority of the development work, and Ben Durbin who worked his behind-the-scenes technology magic. Kind of like Harry Potter!
PRO TIP: You might not want to schedule your husband’s vasectomy four days before the launch of a monstrously huge project, because if you’ve recently had a baby without the use of any pain medication, you might find yourself in a CLEARLY IRRATIONAL STATE (I WILL ADMIT IT, YES) yelling at that husband late one night about how his balls could not possibly hurt as much as that eight-pound baby thrusting its head through and ripping apart your Lady Vidalia.
I’m sorry, Jon, that I purposefully sat next to you on the bed and flossed my teeth as violently as I did. That was mean.
So! What is this super special secret thing we’ve been working on?! You want to know what is isn’t? A BABY. See above: ill-timed vasectomy.
For a few years we’ve been trying to come up with a way for the readers of this site to connect and interact with each other, to get to know each other better, for me to get to know you better, and for little bunnies to fart sunshine.
The comments section has sort of worked in this capacity, but not very well and not to the extent that it should. So we (meaning the team I introduced above) have put together a new section of this website where we can all pool our knowledge and experiences and drunken mishaps into one highly accessible and fun place. Internet, please say hi to:
(There’s a tab in the navigation at the top of the page now, too!)
Perhaps you just want to meet other dooce® readers, or maybe you’d like some tips on photography, or maybe you’d like to compare horror stories when it comes to adopting a herding dog. I think we all have a lot in common, and I’ve always thought that I could sit down with any one of you, have a beer, and shoot the shit late into the evening. Of course, if you’re one of my Mormon readers, we’d have Sprite and shoot the heck until curfew.
I plan to participate in the discussions over there as much as I can. In fact, I’ll be featuring interesting questions and answers over here on the main site every day. In fact, let’s start with this one from user jKottke:
I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want to weigh in on that one?
MIKE MONTEIRO, I’M LOOKING AT YOU.
To get started you can either create an entirely new account or log in with your WordPress.com, Typepad, or any other Open ID account. Additionally, you can use your facebook account if none of the other options work for you.
I also wanted to set this up because I get approached probably four hundred times a day by companies who want to give free stuff to my readers, or who want to pass along a discount code, and this way I can distinctly separate all that stuff from the writing I do about my boobs.
Finally, I want to thank our advertising network Federated Media (Hi, Mugs!) for all the work they’ve done on this project and Suave specifically for sponsoring this space. Thank you, Suave, for making this happen! You’ll notice some of the team at Suave twittering tips and whatnot in the sidebar.
Oh! I almost forgot. From now on if you want to comment on the posts on dooce.com you’ll have to be a member of the community in order to do so. There are many reasons we chose to implement this step, but it all boils down to this: I am a rather sensitive flower, and this way no one can anonymously come here and say SHE IS A SPAGHETTI LEGGED TROLL WHO EATS PIG VOMIT.
That troll is so going to get hatemail from the pig people.
In addition, I’m taking down the hate section, one, because no one can leave an anonymous comment anymore, and two, it has served its purpose. I got to let off a little steam that had been building for a few years, and we have donated the money made from all that crap to a local animal shelter, a local food bank, and have helped some folks pay off some bills. Yay for my pointy, witch-like chin that has inspired so much criticism!
Anyway, git yerself on over there, and have a look at the community guidleines! Remember, it’s new and still getting a few tune-ups, and we’re probably well aware that a button over here or there isn’t working, but if you run into any problems leave a question in the Support section, or send an email to community at dooce dot com.
WOO-HOO! IT’S LIVE! NOW IT’S TIME TO FALL OVER!