• AnnieMadison

    HA – POLO!


    Happy thanksgiving to Heather, Jon, Leta, the dogs, and baby Mario. Erm, Marco. Marlo. Phew.

  • Deborah

    Thanks for the list of baby names. Too bad I am about 30 years past all that. However, I’ll pass it on to the Duggars.

    wv: of groins. Ha. Ha.

  • StacieinAtlanta

    That is too funny!

  • Jenna Jean

    I hope you tell her that it’s no good to tattle tell because imagine what she might be telling your mom!

    Jenna Jean

  • Remarks from Sparks

    Grew up in Utah. Escaped. Feel awfully good about it.

    Wrote something myself a bit ago on Utah names: here. Even called the nasty namers trailer trash. Very PC.

    I’m completely horrified by the names people make up for their kids in Utah Valley. My sister (still imprisoned there), met a kid named Wadlee the other day. Never mind that the parents made that shit up, think of all the terrific perversions kids in elementary school can concoct. It’s just mean-spirited.

  • P

    Have a friend whose Mom is a teacher in the Florida panhandle. She had a student who pronounced her name Paw-Juh-May.

    At an open house, she inquired of the Mother as to how the name came about. She replied, “Oh, I saw it on some clothes in the store and liked it.”

    I should mention, it was spelled “Pajama”.

    Trust me, it’s not limited to Utah…

  • nemiccolo

    I love the red hair. I just now realized that Marlo has it too.

    Your kids are so gorgeous with the incredible green eyes Leta has and now Marlo’s unbelievable blues and then that pretty hair….

    Sorry, it’s really shallow of me but I love the colors!!!


  • SerenityNOW

    Bwahhh. Hahaha. I’m laughing at the comments, not the post. That link kept me occupied for a good 30 minutes
    Can you imagine naming your son Bonner? Once, I took so much shit for questioning a woman naming her son “Ethyn.”
    Marlo is a cool name. She will love it. I used to be pissed my parents named me “Cristin” but I learned to live with it. “It’s Gaelic,” they said. Yeah, but no one else in the world knows that!
    Is it any coincidence the security word below is NAZARETH?

  • simin


    i wonder if its in order of preference……….. :D sigh don’t mind me.


  • Azucar

    I understand.

    Oh boy, do I understand.

  • AmyM

    I take a staycation a few times a year. It involves sending my husband to work and my kids to school and having the house to myself to clean, organize, or sit on the couch and eat ice cream while watching bad day time TV and surfing the internet.

  • tanyetta

    “Because I don’t want to have to do all that writing. I’d get SO tired.”

  • jojobelle

    I live in Hawaii, so of course, I have the best staycation here!!!!!! In May, my husband and I stayed at the Moana Surfrider in Waikiki. It was Fabulous with an oooh so comfy bed you wouldn’t believe it. Why! you ask. Who stays in bed on a trip to Hawaii? I dunno, but my sleep was the best in years!!!! I wtb that bed. The hotel even has advertisement brochures to buy the bed and accessories! Anyway… we had dinner at Jimmy Buffett’s not so new restarant and a show with some oldies who were in town, The Fabulous SOS(a popular group in Hawaii and Las Vegas, kinda oldies). Not to mention the weekly jaunts to beaches, outdoor activities(water skiing,diving,fishing,etc.)the very popular surfing!!!!! Also, Waikiki!!!, parades, hiking, karaoke(very popular here) helicopter rides, visit the beautiful waterfalls, visit other islands, visit polynesian shows! Oh too much, I can mention more, but you catch my drift. Any weekend can be a staycation here in Hawaii. Just living here in Hawaii, enjoying the people, scenery and activities is a vacation in itself!!!! Aloha, my post may be late, but I wanted to let you know Dooce! Fun reading your stuff!

  • John Duke

    I’m not from Utah. But I get it.

  • beadbabe49

    Great giveaway from one of my fav bloggers (I love chuck, so my best stacation would have to include him and my two cats…whoowee, would that be fun!)

  • shannondawn100

    This has SO made me smile!

  • meganbeth

    Oh hell to the yes :)

  • May

    This is off topic but has Leta read the Magic Tree House series yet? My 5 year old son is so obsessed with the series that I can’t keep him supplied fast enough.

  • Jacquie

    Kids love a good scandal, don’t they? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the handmade card phase, it just never gets old. I exploited the total weirdness that my own children offered on my recent birthday cards by posting them on my blog. Yes, yes we are saving for therapy:


  • radkitch

    watch her….i have a feeling she’ll sell you out in a NY minute! Leta and her state secrets…

  • fat mum slim

    Oh I love kids and how excited they get.

    Such scandal!

  • Mrs. Williams

    Kids are just AWESOME for dirt. My kid is like the Perez Hilton of little girls.

  • Daddy Scratches

    Very funny. Always interesting to get reports from the kids about your parents.

    Of course, in our case, we usually have to follow our kids’ revelations with a brief word or two about how their grandparents sometimes are completely insane.

  • Karla J

    I made the mistake of telling my Mom my son was conceived while on vacation at Marco Island. She called him Marco until I finally made her stop.

  • KellyKjellberg

    oh fuck! thats hilareous!

  • cshift3

    Kids will say anything and everything. Which is good when it’s about other people, but not as funny when it’s about me…
    Once my 8 year old daughter asked me if I forgot to take my crazy pills.
    And everyone at my kids school knows that I’m allergic to bromine…TMI!!

  • proud momma of one

    I can’t wait until my 7 month old can talk! haha! Hilarious!

  • firefly1818

    How about an easy nickname for Mario-Marco…? something simple, like…ummm…like MARIA???

  • Janice

    More importantly – how long did the telephone call with your mother last? Did you break any records?

  • Penelope

    This cracks me up. My mother had my son over the weekend while I was gone and he informed me, in hushed tones upon my arrival, that GRANDMA TOOK ME OUT FOR FAST FOOD. And I’ve been drinking chocolate milk all weekend. So there, Mom. Hope you had fun.

  • kristanhoffman

    Hmm, maybe there should be a Leta series of greeting cards in your Dooce store? ;D

  • Bibbitybobbityblogger

    Oh my god, Kayedynne… What the hell is wrong with these parents. They’ve ensured that their kid will forever have to assist their teacher in the pronunciation of their name. Utah is the wacko made up name capital.

    Kids and dirt = pure comedy. My oldest is the TMZ of the neighborhood. Who’s mom got a boob job, who’s dad secretly drinks beer in the garage (gasp), who’s dog keeps leaving presents near the front door of the grouchy lady on the corner. We get it all. She should blog about it. It’s good stuff. (Yes, we live in Utah in a neighborhood where more than half of the women have eyelash extensions (I know, WTF right?), new boobs, multiple trainers, and nannies… but they all stay home. And, where their husbands have lots of little secrets that help them stay sane!)

  • tanyaself

    Can I first just say what a beautiful girl Leta is. What a great pic of her before she is off to school to learn how to make cards. She will be running Hallmark before long!

  • mommaruthsays

    She certainly has got this whole gossip thing down pat; who knows she could become the Perez Hilton of the Salt Lake City area!

  • Jenni

    I totes thought it said “Marco.” Don’t hurt me.

  • TexasKatie

    Watch out with the little kid tattlers – I have one of those at home! :-) How cute that Leta thought that was such a juicy tidbit, though – she is too cute.

  • lifewithkids

    LOL, I totally thought she was going to say that sometimes your mom tooted. I hope that doesn’t make me sound to adolescent.

  • simpliSAHM

    Oh yes, as a former Utah resident/Mormon I’m all too familiar with the weird name spellings, but to fair, let’s not forget about naming kids after prophets/general authorities.

  • Daisy JD

    One of the (few) things I miss about living in Utah is the birth announcements. How many times will the phrase “Aubriella is not a real name” have to escape my lips in one lifetime? I’d argue that once is once too many.

  • LovingDanger

    At least that’s the only dirt she’s got… I’m sure when my daughter is Leta’s age she’ll come home and tell me all about how Grandma hates the Chinese. Yep, cause I’ve got a lovely mother in law like that!

  • MichelleC

    I am from Utah and I SO GET the whole name thing. It’s like everyone around here (mostly the Mormons)makes up names with “creative spelling” to throw us all off. And there always seems to be an “ay/den” attached to it. Brayden, Cayden, Kaylance, Tayden GRRRR! Enough with the creative names and spelling (you know who you are).

  • marialoo

    It’s not just Utah that has the crazy names. Sometimes I think parents start with a grab bag of letters (both lower case and capital) and punctuation, just pulling random stuff out until they have a “name”. Ij’laTay’ah or some crazines.

  • Lara

    How’s this for a name: Tamaleana. No? OK, Kambryn? Haylen? Maybe Mirrorosa? I kid you not, these are all names of children on my current case docket. Mirrorosa alone is grounds for filing an abuse and neglect petition, don’t you agree?

  • alice q.

    At least you didn’t name Marlo something that starts with the letter V or else people might confuse her name with Vernal Independence. Oh lord.

  • yogafan

    Okay, one of the names on that list was Abcde?? I guess the logical progression is Fghij, Klmno, etc. Also, moments like that- with Leta- make me want to have kids.

  • WebSavyMom

    –>I saw Marco on her card and thought, Uh Oh. Maybe you should just start calling her Marlo Polo?


  • jenspillman

    They have NaLa’DeLuhRay listed as a boy’s name. Whatever, it’s totally a girl’s name.

  • Karen Chatters

    Hopefully you were able to get the dirt on your mom to your mom in 45 seconds or less. You know, before she hangs up on you.

  • d3 voiceworks

    I sent the Utah Baby Namer link to friends and family. Subject line: This is where I live

    Thank gawd the name Emilio (Lio) is NOT on that list.

    Gobble, gobble!