• JackJillPutUpABlog

    She could always go the J.Lo route and do: Mar.Lo

    She’s just Mar.Lo from the block… in Utah.

  • kimplasters

    That’s it. I’m packing my stuff, moving to Utah and getting pregnant – with a boy – JUST so I can put “Azer Baloo” on his birth certificate. I’d do it here, but I think North Carolina has some kind of law requiring that the first name be an adjective (can refer to size, age or ownership) and the middle name be something that no less than a dozen family members already claim (hence the need for the adjective). The law applies to both sexes, BTW. It should come as no surprise then, that I will be spending this Thanksgiving with Big Jake and Little Jake; Big Britt might be here, but Little Britt ran off with some trucker last I heard; Debbie’s David is out of town as is Carter’s David, but Big Roger and Roger Junior will most likely make an appearance. Same goes for James, Jim and Jimmy, Uncle Butch and Little Butch and of course, Junior. May not be what you put on her birth certificate, but Mario and Marco both sound better than “Tha Other Marlo”.

  • emulli

    My suggestion for Marlo’s name: use all caps for official forms when you’re hand-writing. I had a weird last name, and all caps always worked. You may feel strange writing MARLO armstrong, but it’s better than her potential trauma at always being Mario or Marco…

  • DudgeOH

    “Now, let’s have a talk about your son, Kayedynne.

    Sorry, that was mean. But if you live in Utah YOU TOTALLY UNDERSTAND, AM I RIGHT?”

    Holy crap! I followed the link you provided… those names were funny, bizarre or both! I swear that outside of Utah using those names would be grounds for DCFS intervention! *lol*

  • mochajavalatte

    My cousin is affetionately called the Town Crier. That girl has the dish ON EVERYONE. I just bribe her with candy and lip gloss. Shuts her right up. She’s 8.

  • pingersgal

    I loved my kids cards when they were little..now they are 8 and 10 and their cards are more along the lines of ‘Mom, thanks for making us french toast on your bday’. And they have this LOOK on their face like ‘uh…it IS your bday and we DID thank you already so whats with the laying in bed thing?’
    Just wait..it gets even better as they get older!

  • dabbles

    i really hope that you were serious about saving money for law school – because it is apparent to me that is where she is headed…

    and that link – is that for real. because if so that is the best thing in the world. i am going to the court house today and renaming my children

  • mynightmind

    I’ve got a feeling you might like this website:


  • NolaMomma

    Love her art work and the scoop on Linda…how cute!

  • kpstan1

    Too funny! Your writing always makes me laugh.

  • Robyn L

    She’s hilarious!

    And how long was the call to your mom! 41 seconds?

    My captcha is Marlo!

  • Monday

    Wait until she discovers her teachers have first names!

  • Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt

    Did your mother respond in less than 1 minute and 42 seconds?

    BTW…Kimplasters comment is classic.

  • Amanda81930

    hahaha! I just looked at that website…they have “Kaysional Tempest”…KAYSIONAL TEMPEST!?!?!? Wow, do people REALLY name they’re children names like this?? *sigh*

    Utah should hang it’s head in shame!

    SHAME! (like SHINGLES!)

  • MeMyselfandMommy

    That’s awesome. Moanna is a total tattletale. She can’t keep a secret and she picks up on everything. We’re treading in dangerous waters.

  • Fosterhood

    Scandalous! I can’t wait until she says “hell” though (unless you’re keeping that delightful experience from us). And how much longer does she have to wait for that martini? You’re so not fair.

  • blue_william

    Wicked post. So sublime.

  • Becca

    I so so so so needed to laugh today and now my belly hurts. Thank you Heather.

  • eddeaux

    OMW. These are my favorite kind of posts… so funny.

    Also, Leta’s handwriting is better than most adults that I know… and come to think of it, her art is better too.

    Happy Thanksgiving Armstrongs!


  • TropicalPopsicle

    I think I will now have to start going by Tashley, as seen on the Utah Baby Namer site. It’s an excellent mix of my first and last names. Either that or Desdedididawn. Did this whole weird name thing begin with a contest a long time ago? Or maybe a bet gone wrong?

  • apostate

    Yes, I know what you mean. (sigh)
    Because I am from Utah. (sigh)
    And it’s going to be “wintering” here for 6 more months. (sigh)

    (I just wanted to throw that last one in.)


  • amysev

    Wow – followed the Utah baby name link, and now I fear my daughter is a reincarnated Mormon. What else could explain the fact that she gives her stuffed animals names like Trissa and Lurga? (Lurga is one of her favorites. Many things have been “Lurga for a day”). I really hope it’s just a phase (she is only 3, after all) or someday I may have a grandchild named Zyx or somkething equally lovely.

  • Cadence

    My name is Cadence. I met someone who named their child Kaydynce a few months ago. It made me sad.

  • mamadouce

    Don’t have to be from Utah to get the Kayedynne reference. Even when it is spelled Caden, I just can’t get over the fact that it is NOT a name. It is one thing to have a unique name for your kid (i.e. Leta, which is pretty as well as personal for your family, I know) but to start popularizing a made-up name just drives me nuts!!!! I also know 3 different Kaleighs (Kaleigh, Kailee and Caileigh). What the hell?

    Oh, and my name is Heather and I once knew someone named Keather and she ALWAYS introduced herself as Keather, it’s Heather with a K. ARRRRRGGGG!!! Please, parents-to-be out there, think before ye name!

  • hopelds

    The name problem seems to exist for even commmon names – we all assume that something like Jane must be spelled some esoteric way, like Jaaynie.

    My name is Hope – I get called Faith a lot. My daughter is named Harmony – she gets Melody and Heather. Joy usually remains Joy – sometimes Joi or Joiey.

    Stand tall, and teach Marlo – people will get it straigt… someday.

  • agablack

    My name is Agnieszka. (Did you just try to say it out loud? Good luck.) So I go by Agi (pronounced as Aggie). When I introduce myself, I often help people by saying:
    “Hi, I’m Agi. It’s like Maggie without the M.”
    “Nice to meet you, Agi. And where are you from?” they respond.
    “From Poland. It’s like Holland but with a P.”

    Marlo is kick ass, btw. Love the name.

  • Star.trippin.astronaut.

    It’s not too late to go Marb…

  • mamanat

    That list of baby names made me cry. I was laughing that hard. Sorry, Friends Forsaken, but have fun in high school!

  • curlsz

    As soon as I saw it I thought – MARCO!!!? Poor baby she’s in for it – try growing up with the name Malita Marlo it’s hell!!!!

  • bfmchoul

    Best terrible Utah baby name I’ve heard:

    Le-ah. Pronounced “ledashah.” Yep. Le dash ah. The hypen isn’t silent.

  • Shamelessly Sassy

    The mothers of the Kayedynnes in the world need be be shaken vigorously. Spelling your child’s name funky doesn’t make you unique, it makes you a douche.

    (I should probably put that on a bumper sticker.)

    Update after hitting preview: Kayedynne’s mommy must be regulating the formatting of comments because it took FOREVER for this screen to pop up.

  • mariacelina

    This post made me laugh because I personally connected it with Marlo’s other endearing nickname, “Not Maria”. My own name is Maria — don’t worry, I didn’t take it personally that you preferred another name — and when I saw what looked like “Marco” instead of “Marlo” on the card, I had another good laugh, as that’s the name of my brother.

    In seriousness, you have a budding artist in your midst.

  • LeahBeah

    Dude. Every day I am more and more convinced Leta and my 4-year-old should be best friends. Their conversations would be…epic.

  • Music for Mother and Child

    Hi Heather, LOL! Great and fun post! What a loving get well card!

    Greetings from Denmark!

  • MeghanCL

    My brother- and sister-in-law have two sets of twins (I know, OMG – the oldest are 3 and the youngest 6 months), named Mychal (pronounced Michael), Macyn (Mason), Kendyl, and Kamryn. Guess which one’s the boy?

    Kamryn. That poor boy. Could be worse though, they almost named him Kendyl and his sister Kamryn but switched.

    I also have a niece named Kamryn. It’s so confusing!!

  • MissCaron

    OMG. Freakin adorable. Love it! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving y’all!

  • Katiewa

    Totally rad Utah names website! My sister and I spend Saturday morning making fun of freaky baby names in the birth announcements in the local paper but have never seen anything like those Utah names!!!
    I’m thnking of changing my name to Khrysalis. Seriously.

  • William

    I am sure she tells Linda all kinds of dirt on you.

  • beads in the belfry

    That was hilarious. Makes you wonder what she tells Linda about you though. I did a little Sunday school teaching this summer and boy the kids really let anything out! LOL. Good times.

  • KatR

    Let me just say that after learning about weird Mormon names,that “Renesmee” from Twilight makes a whooole lot more sense now.

  • MeghanCL

    KatR – ROFLMAO!!!!! So true.

  • Lilliah

    Heatherrrrrr! The photo you picked for the “safe” version of the calendar ONLY MAKES IT MORE DIFFICULT TO DECIDE for those of us who aren’t offended or worried about safety! Couldn’t you have picked a LESS ADORABLE one or something? Oh, wait- there probably *aren’t* any, huh? Pssssh. ;)


  • Snaptress

    You’re so funny. The card is cute :) Ahhhh kids — someday

  • Sheyfey

    Get her a mac and a camera. She can go into business already!

  • Amy J

    My 6 year old also runs a printing press out of his room, and seems to think we need to keep every piece of artwork produced because “Mom, you’ll be glad you have all of this when I’m famous.” I’m sure I will.

    I do live in Utah and I do know exactly what you are talking about.

  • louloupink

    She is an artist!

  • Lolabreeze

    amazing. period.

  • jonerthon

    When the time comes, I am definitely naming my kid Lyn-Z. I mean, look what the hyphen has done for Jay-Z. And if it’s a boy I think I’m going with Budge.