Only thing missing is a side of waffle fries

So. Today is a bit of an exciting day around here because Microsoft has given me five Xbox consoles to give away to my readers, just in time for the holidays. And I’ll just go ahead and get the disclosure part of this out of the way: this is a sponsored giveaway. I do not do this sort of thing very often. Actually, only once before (and trust me, it drives my ad network totally nuts. Hi, FM!), but this seemed like something you guys would be really interested in and, hello, FIVE XBOXES. FOR FREE.

I’ll admit that all I knew about an Xbox before about a week ago was that my cousin GEORGE!, the one who lived in our basement for the summer of 2007, had one running at all times in his room. Along with three other gaming systems, two computers, a television, the ceiling fan, and who knows what else because our electric bill the first month he lived here was four times what it normally was. Oddly, he thinks it was that electric bill that has caused the rift that now exists between us. But it’s not. That rift has to do with something entirely unrelated to that electric bill, and because I’m not going to get into that mess here, I’ll just give him a two word hint: TOPLESS INTRUDER.

Fast forward to last week: we wanted to know as much as we could about the Xbox before we gave one away, so Jon went out and bought one, plus a few driving games as those are really the only ones I like to play. And he got this really awesome one that rewards aggressive, dangerous driving, and the more poles you hit and crashes you cause, the faster you hit that ramp and fly 70 feet into the air and land on top of that taco truck, the higher your score. Which to me is what Heaven will look like.

Have I ever told you about how I bought a brand new Honda Civic in 1999, and within the first five months of owning it I had to get the brakes replaced? Not because the brakes were defective, BUT BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I DRIVE. Every day I earn points by stopping closer and closer to the car in front of me, and sometimes I can get it down to millimeters. Just ask Jon and the gray hair in his beard.

As part of this giveaway Microsoft wanted me to share my “Ultimate Staycation” with you guys, and don’t worry, I just punched myself in the face for even writing that word. If they had asked me to use the word “solutioneering” I’m not so sure I could have mustered the strength.

And well, I get to live my ultimate staycation pretty much every day. Meaning, once we put both the kids down for the night, Jon and I curl up in bed with the two dogs, a cocktail, and an episode of either really excellent television or really awful television, the stuff in between is too boring. Like, either an episode of “The Wire” or something about plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. I suppose watching the sunset behind the Eiffel Tower in Paris might be an amazing way to spend an evening, but COME ON. You should see some of these nose jobs.

I think this may be Jon’s idea of an ultimate staycation:

So. Here is how this thing works, and no, I had nothing to do with these rules so don’t scream at me:

1. You must be 18 or over to enter.

2. You must live in the US.

3. You must read these rules.

4. Five commenters will be selected as winners. Please include your idea of an “Ultimate Staycation” in your comment, and y’all, keep it clean even if it does somehow include your balls.

Note: you must be signed in to leave a comment. If you sign up for multiple user accounts and try to enter under different profiles, you will be disqualified.

5. Comments will be open until tomorrow December 2, 2009 at 9PM Eastern.

6. Winners will be chosen randomly using Random.org.

7. Winners will be announced on Friday.

8. Prize is an “Ultimate Xbox Bundle” which includes 1 – Xbox console, 3 – Family Fun Games, 1 – Gold Subscription to Xbox (1 Year) – Estimated package value $499

Ready, set, go!

PS. Here are the Xbox avatars we created for ourselves complete with my trademark grumpiness:

  • MoxieMomma

    My ultimate staycation would involve a trip to Barnes and Noble with a $1000 gift card. Once I got home with my stash of words, I’d pour a glass of wine and curl up on the couch with a nice blanket. I’d alternate between reading, sipping wine and napping. Ahhhh, I get relaxed just thinking about it.

  • yumpickles

    I kind of have a staycation every day anyway, but I think the ultimate staycation would involve a giant plasma TV, video games, my gay boyfriend and a bottle of good wine.

    The recent XBox 360 ads with Jane Lynch aka Sue Sylvester are incredibly funny and compelling, I actually considered buying one for the first time ever. (I’m normally a Nintendo and Sony console kinda girl.)

  • Cheeky Muffy

    Wow. Free stuff gets people posting. Like me. My husband really wants this for xmas. But if I don’t win, he’s not getting one. (We just bought a new house.)

    Anyway, my idea of a staycation is husband, hottub at 108 degrees, red wine and/or Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, no kids, and the complete fifth season of Weeds (for which I am patiently waiting–January 19, 2010).

  • jadesymb

    my “Ultimate Staycation” would involve lots of sleep. I’ve got a three week old baby, so I’m sure you can understand why sleep is pretty much the only thing I really want right now.

    I love my Xbox 360, and love playing Rockband. You should try Rockband!

    This would be the perfect gift for my brother in law and his family, so I’m crossing my fingers!

  • sms1states

    My ultimate “staycation” would be a party, hosted by my husband and myself, that includes lots of booze, good eats, and football. Preferably the NY Giants, Colts, or Arkansas Razorback football! WOOO PIG!

  • Am I Doing Okay

    Staycation – hmmmmm? Maid service. Great book. Take-out with delivery. And a moratorium on fighting.

  • InOverMyHead

    Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m not winning this, but figure I’ll add one more to the count so those that *do* win can feel like they’ve overcome even BIGGER odds than if I didn’t… you know, because I’m generous like that.

    My ultimate staycation? Wine. (duh) A full listing of DVR’d shows to watch. An Xbox360 (a little help with this, please?). Oh, and Chuck visiting for the weekend. Yup, that’d do it.

  • eduliS

    Head in the shadows of a tree, on a long garden bed, hot summer day, cool drink, ice cream, summer breeze, buzzing bees, birds, something to read and daydreams…

  • rlm2496

    My ultimate staycation… a clean house… laundry all caught up… nothing to do… a good book.

  • _jenn

    ultimate “staycation”= lots of blankets + ice cream + boyfriend + monopoly/old episodes of the wonder years. and lets add a mani-pedi. just for kicks! :)

  • umarlene

    staycation? home. pjs. yummy chocolate desert. champagne. kids asleep. tv. ahhhhhh!

  • becky Kopelic

    my staycation (yes, I shudder typing that ridiculous word as well) would consist of my children going to grandmas for the week and I would be left alone with plenty of good food and movies. I would have no responsibilities except getting myself up in the morning and to bed at night. Yes, that would be nice.

  • means girl

    Ultimate staycation: lots and lots of blankets, my two cats snuggled down, several good books, my laptop, the internet, an xbox, and friends visiting in their PJ’s. A strict pajama dress code would be in effect. There would also be junk food and 80′s movies.

  • dema

    About thirty good books from my childhood/young adulthood, plenty of hot chocolate and liquor, a well-decorated Christmas tree exuding pine scent everywhere, the heat on high while it snows quietly outside, and my boyfriend to cuddle with.

    And WAFFLES!

  • goddessnike13

    Sleep in, go to a Cardinals game, sleep in, watch a movie, sleep in, have a drink or two, go to bed. Rinse, repeat.

  • bawb23

    Since my grandchildren moved to the island, I get my favorite staycation every time they come over. My perfect staycation would be a handful of tickets for the various theatre groups on the island, including the school plays, that I could attend with the grandkids. Then back to Grandpa’s for storytime!

    Yay!

  • Miabella

    My “Ultimate Staycation” involves:

    - being outside in warm 80 degree weather,
    - a feast of delicious takeout food,
    - good company, and
    - a margarita.

    :)

  • lwallner

    My staycation-anywhere that someone else is watching the baby somewhere else and I could get up when I feel like it, not at 6am and nap according to my own schedule, not when a demanding little wee man deigns to nap.

  • patsgirl

    The ultimate staycation for us would be one with no work obligations. Just us, dinner at home, a couple of beers and a new episode of Entourage or Friday Night Lights. Then lights out!

  • laurenhm

    My husbands ultimate staycation would undoubtedly include an xBox 360 – which I would love to win! However, mine would be an entire day at home with nothing to do, wearing my yoga pants, eating pizza from The Pie, and watching Glee. Sad, but very true.

  • jenfick

    Ultimate staycation: Some friends, a lot of wine, a dog, and plenty of movies and games for all…

  • ShelbysMom

    My ultimate staycation would have to include, me and the hubby, some homemade PJ with lots of fruit, our dogs, some games, and definitely some very unhealthy food.

  • AllisonW

    My ultimate staycation includes my husband, wine, books, and a full DVR. This time of year, it’d be nice if it also included some snow.

  • jcurran1

    Awesome!

    The best staycation? Watching a marathon of Hoarders espisodes in bed with pizza & beer!

  • dave312

    The ultimate staycation is easy… my wife, plenty of beer, pizza, and some good friends to share it all with.

  • Mama Megan

    Honestly, most days I would prefer a staycation over a real one. None of the packing, stress and metal detectors. Just me, my family, my couch and a good movie (or XBOX). Nowhere to be and nothing that I HAVE to do. Ahhhhh, sounds so good right about now!

  • alisonag

    ultimate staycation: a well stocked fridge, pantry and liquor cabinet, a netflix subscription, snow outside, a fire going inside, a pile of books, and a bunch of friends on the couch.

  • monkeyknits

    My staycation involves some prep work including a maid and a personal chef. I would love to hang out for a long weekend in our own house which has been cleaned and organized top to bottom with a chef ready to cater to my every pregnant whim. Movies, knitting, crosswords and a little romance would make the weekend complete!

    Thanks for the fun contest!

  • Damommym17

    My ultimate staycation would be winning the mega millions on Friday…then pack up and head to the Lotto Headquarters to claim my prize that weekend…come home…say nothing about the winnings to anyone at work…and call in to work every day for as long as I feel like it…lol…probably just a week…all the while hiring a financial planner…planning my future…sending checks with the full amount owed to all my creditors! Oh yeah…that would be the ultimate staycation prior to the huge VACATION I will be taking in Hawaii. Ok…I’ve slapped myself back to reality…

  • Kables

    Me, my underpants, a warm, slightly flat 2-liter of Coke Classic, some of those red hot fiery Cheetos that hurt more than they help, my Atari 2600 with E.T. loaded, and Weird Al.

  • vintagejones

    I have a son and a husband that would love me forever if I win this!

    My ultimate staycation includes:
    jacuzzi (anyone know of a giveaway?)
    wine
    good music
    great books
    slippers
    robe
    no phones
    kids with a babysitter

  • amac25

    My ultimiate staycation includes a walk over the river in Chattanooga at sunset with ice cream at the end!

  • bethknee

    My ultimate staycation would involve TIVO, Thai food, uninterrupted reading and knitting time, and a few great date nights. I don’t need much, but even that much is hard to come by.

  • justgreat

    My ideal staycation would consist of slogging around on the interwebs (yes, every day is a mini staycation for me), playing with my dog and parrot (who would ideally be in a state of magical harmony), and/or hanging out with them in the living room while screaming expletives at my fiance over a balloon battle in Mario Kart 64, all while eating pizza. I’m easy.

    One of the captcha words below is Bibulous. Yesterday, I went to take a sip of my diet pepsi out of a can and somehow misjudged where the airspace ended and my mouth started, and consequently I ended up with a special pepsi stain on my work blouse, at work. It was bibulous.

  • chickie

    I just experienced my almost perfect staycation over Thanksgiving – food, drinks, The Boyfriend, lots of movies and no plans. The only thing missing is a game system so we can compete against each other!

  • forsure510

    really, all I need for the ultimate staycation is nothing to do and a bottle of booze. bacon would also be good. and some friends to enjoy it with.

  • artyfuss

    My staycation would involve doing some baking with my son, having some cocktails with my husband, and just hanging out with those guys, playing games, watching movies, eating whatever we bake.

  • colallison

    An enormous box of wine and a never-ending loop of True Blood.

  • amywilks

    Kids gone for the weekend, and for that matter, my husband too. A soft serve ice cream machine in my living room along with a fountain diet coke machine. Working on my own ‘projects’ during the day and my own personal line up of really bad reality shows in bed at night: Dog the Bounty Hunter, Cheaters, Hoarders, Girls Gone Wild and Project Runway. Top that all off with some sleeping pills to make sure I sleep through the night and call me done.

  • LuckySascha

    First – take time and dress up for the hell of it. Put on an evening gown, or whatever is fun and festive and special. Light candles, and make the effort to create an ambiance. Perhaps “Lady and the Tramp”. Cook or order in, with copious amounts of wine :) After dinner, change into comfy/sexy attire. BF and I take every comforter, blanket pillow, stuffed animal we can find into the living room and create a cozy floor-bed in front of the tv and fire place. Get to hang out with our kitties (which frankly is the sucky part about going away). Watch movies and enjoy the luscious cuddly goodness.

  • metcalfruf

    i just had my ultimate staycation. my husband took the three kids with him to NM for thanksgiving and i got to stay home in silence. oh the sweet sweet silence. and going to the movies whenever i felt like it.

  • harlots name

    Ultimate staycation: Curled up in bed with Bukowski, vodka, and maybe my boyfriend if theres still room.

  • jessikat

    great giveaway! my staycation would consist of jammies, a snowstorm, the fireplace burning, cuddles with the husband, books, movies and video games plus tons of fastfood delivery. also? a drunken game of scrabble or cards.

  • emmyb8

    My ultimate staycation? Walking the streets of my hometown with all my loved ones who have come to visit to see all the Christmas pretties.

  • kottesen

    Ultimate Staycation. Pajamas all day. Catered. Housekeeper to come every couple of days to take out the garbage, scoop the litterbox, and wash any dishes for food I may have served myself.

  • KelleyA

    My ultimate staycation would be a day off of work, but my kids have to go to school! My house would already be clean, so I could do things I want to do, rather than feel the need to be domestic. I would sleep in, catch up on my shows, and maybe do something creative!

  • heatheradele

    I’d say my idea of the ultimate “staycation” would be spending time with my boyfriend cooking and watching the Food Network. We love to try new foods and new cooking methods. (Although, this is what we end up doing most weekends already.)

  • Lisa H.

    My ultimate staycation would involve discovering a TV series that I have never seen before, but find that I love (or maybe an oldie but goodie. DS9 perhaps.) I’d stay at home and watch it all day, perhaps with the laptop out so I could chat online. Good food would would be involved. Pickles, green olives, Italian bread, hummus, and tall sweating glasses of soymilk to wash it all down.

  • muse

    My Ultimate Staycation:

    Watching a marathon of Curb Your Enthusiasm and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia with Larry David and Danny Devito.

  • pam.lowery

    A rainy day and a good book!