• the5williams

    Ok, the pictures are awesome and the story is hilarious! Thank you for reminding me why I NEVER want to make gingerbread cookies. TOO. MUCH. WORK!

    I’ll stick with Oreo Truffles. They are so easy Marlo could make them! :)

  • kristing104

    Does Leta’s beauty take your breath away every day? Because it takes mine away and she’s not even my daughter. Absolutely gorgeous family. Thank you for sharing.

  • val0552

    My goodness those girls are adorable!

    I love to cook, bake and entertain but can totally relate to the drug lord nutmeg comment. What’s up with that anyway?!?!?!

  • MommitIsTired

    But…who CARES if you can cook? You have one of those industrial-sized expensive mixer things, a giant shot glass/rolling pin, and you can spell “coriander”. It’s all about how it looks, right?

  • irritableblogsyndrome

    Those cookies look SO STINKIN GOOD! A mesh strainer works good for sifting too. http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/sku6860712/?pkey=x|4|1||4|sieve||0&cm_src=SCH

    I am totally trying #56′s recipe for Oreo truffles!

  • sczos

    i heart you. i don’t cook. i assemble. i don’t own a strainer and have a 3 year old begging to make gingerbread men. and i am dreading it. DREADING. ugh. too much work that will add pounds to my ass.

    and you know what – sprinkles can be put on anything. sprinkles on pancakes and waffles are a favorite here. sprinkles on pudding, too. we sprinkle the hell out of our food here in my house.

  • bawb23

    What? You used cookie cutters, and didn’t modify the results? No two-headed gingerbread men? No Apple logo? Not even an Ipod?

    Opportunity lost, and think of the educational value. You could make a gingerbread spider for Leta, so she could break off it’s legs one-by-one.

    Oh well, I suppose I’ll just have to wait for the photo of Chuck with a sprinkle-covered cookie on his head.

  • lotuspixie

    Did you know that nutmeg is a psychotropic drug? not a good one, but still, it is in fact a hallucinogen. Remember learning about it in my psychopharmacology class. Apparently you make a tea out of an ass-load of nutmeg (sounds foul to me), then drink it. some guys in my psychopharm class thought it would be fun to try it. apparently it was NOT fun.

  • Essembee

    Marlo’s face made me laugh… That’s a talented baby right there.

  • thejunebug

    Aw, your cookies came out looking great. :) And next time, try the farmer’s market for the spices! I get mine at my local market, and they cost literally a fraction of the damn grocery store (less than a DOLLAR for an entire giant thing of cloves, for real). I don’t know where the grocery stores get their spices but they must charge for shipping. :)

  • Jojo

    You win the mythical contest for the pickiest eater in the world. Leta won’t eat cookies? I don’t know if that’s good or bad. She is her own person, though. If I were there, though, that cookie container would not be full for very long.

  • d3 voiceworks

    cool how the measuring spoon looks like a pee stick … ahem.

  • nonsequitur

    OMG. CUUUTest blog post EVER in the history of blogposts. especially the first 2 pictures of leta and marlo, and their expressions… something along the line of: Marlo: You forgot the Saffron?? WTF?!? and Leta: Stupid Adult. Do I have to show you everything? sigh.

    oh and I am ~loving~ marlo’s shirt today. so cute.

  • strawberrygoldie

    Wait wait wait wait wait…

    Br’er Rabbit Molasses?


  • etpiro

    Brer Rabbit Molasses, eh? Sounds racist to me. (Just teasing you, of course)

  • TexasKatie

    Can I ask why the fuck your cookies called for ground pepper? Weird! :)

  • Lena

    You get HUGE “Good Mother” props for making those cookies!

    Your daughters’ looks of dismay punctuating the story are HYSTERICAL!!

    I love this sort of *show and tell* format.

    Also? Please send the cookies to NY. I will eat every one. They came out great!

  • Bree

    You picked a mighty ambitious recipe for your first cookie. I HIGHLY recommend this one:


    I, too, seem to destroy everything I attempt to cook, except for these cookies. And people think I’m amazingly talented. And they are DELICIOUS. Just ignore the whole “twisting” part and just make regular cookies and it’s so freaking easy.

  • kidsmom

    Best post in a long time. Love the ending!

  • Alta_Gal

    I love the rolling pin improvisation! Last Christmas, my friend and her soon-to-be step-daughter (who is 7) decided to make sugar cookies. They got to the part in the recipe that says “roll out dough …” and my friend realizes that she, too, does not own a rolling pin.

    What to do?

    Oh don’t worry, she used a Heineken can straight out of the fridge!

  • Christina_MT

    Yeah, my kids just like doing the sprinkles too. Which is why I buy the refridgerated cookie dough and save myself some time. Although even that is a pain. Especially since I also don’t own a rolling pin and have to use a Sigg bottle.

    What a fun day though, I’m sure Leta will remember it always.

  • Crazy Card Lady

    You can get a $1 rolling pin at Target or the Dollar store. Don’t deprive yourself of such important kitchen tools. It’s also good for smashing small amounts of crackers or nuts. Or just waving around to look tough.

    Cute tutorial on making cookies. I noticed Leta has Jon’s hands. Don’t know why that caught my eye.

  • WVKay

    I saw gingerbread house and cookie kits at Wal-Mart. Just go crazy with the sprinkles and forget all the measuring, flour and butter stuff. But, good job Heather! You’re a better Mom than I was.

  • Rainyday

    Ooooooh, looks like fun! I spent the day making sugar cookies and sugar/dairy/gluten/yeast/wheat free pumpkin spice cookies and muffins with my boys. (And a 3 year old dumping on sprinkles is a sight to behold!) Tomorrow will be fudge and ginger crinkle cookies. Though, after reading this post, I now want to make plain gingerbread people!

  • bekala

    I don’t own a sifter, either–just throw the dry ingredients into a tupperware container, make sure it’s closed, and shake. it’s something else Leta can shake the shit out of, too.

    P.S. my rolling pin? an empty wine bottle, label removed.

  • shewhobakes

    So I’m 2 dozen kinds of cookies into this holiday season, and not even close to done. Every year, 17 and counting, can’t even begin to explain why. OCD?

    During which time, at least for my kiddos, I’ve proven it’s NOT all about the sprinkles; the frosting sometimes gets licked clean, too. Cookies, scmookies. Swear to god, if asparagus and broccoli could sport sprinkles, they’d be gobbled up nightly.


  • Chriss

    Ah the oven. Otherwise known as (in my house at least) THE DOG’s MIRROR. Funny, I don’t own a dog.

  • rhea

    There is no undo button in baking, that’s why all of my baking is *unique*.

  • faq

    I’m right there with you on the baking thing. But surely I’m just twisted in that I’m really just scanning the comments for the freak who’s going to grief for putting the bumbo on the countertop a la “DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?!?” ;)

  • CreatureofHabit


    I love that as the photo story unfolds, you slowly disappear from the photos, only to be replaced by Jon. Too funny!

  • lumannie

    Definitely one of the funniest posts I’ve read in a while, though all of your posts are funny of course. I love that pic of you grinding pepper HAHA and the last one of Marlo :)
    anyway the gingerbread cookies turned out pretty damn good aye they look really yummy

  • zola

    Laughed so hard my sides ache! Read to my kids (slightly edited) and they laughed just as hard. Recently bought an old fashion sifter at an antique store just because – have baked for years without just fine.

  • kwhitlock

    Dude, as a general rule for myself any cookie recipe that requires a rolling pin, chilling overnight, or pepper is one to abstain from, especially when working with a five-year-old. I realize sprinkles are “the tits” for kids, but you know what esle rocks? CHOCOLATE CHIPS! You can even buy white chocolate chips which would qualify under Leta’s “Nothing except for beige foods” rule. Chocolate chip cookies will always get eaten, and you literally just drop globs of cookie dough on a cookie sheet. The best part is that the recipe is on the bag of chocolate chips. Did I mention chocolate chips?

  • vent

    “Why go through all the trouble of making meth in your basement when you could be out peddling nutmeg?”


    OMG…that was hysterical!!!

    FUNNY post, Heather.

    The cookies look yummy! And remember…it’s not how you get there, it’s the end result that counts!

    Happy Holidays to you and your family!

  • ceecee

    TWELVE BUCKS? No, no, no. Rookie mistake. Instead of buying the fancy big bottles, just head to the bulk store for spices. I’m not sure what the American equivalent might be called but up here in Canada it’s Bulk Barn; every spice, candy and baking ingredient known to man.

    Also, if the dough is supposed to be refrigerated overnight, just put it in the freezer for 15 mins or so.

  • Mugswife

    Funny story. But now you have done it. You don’t ever have to do it again. My Mom told me, we always baked cookies at Christmas. Funny I don’t remember it. But there are pictures from one year. Flour everywhere…..trashed kitchen. I don’t think any pics of actual cookies baked. Now her secret is out….she took the pics the ONE TIME WE BAKED and I fell for her baking christmas cookies stories for 40 years.

    Boy, is she gonna be pissed that I figured it out because of this post.

  • krystyna81

    If you ever want to make non-edible versions that you can hang on your tree, I just made some cinnnamon ornaments with my kids and they are a lot of fun! Leeta can decorate and not have to eat them :)


  • mochajavalatte

    You had me ’til the ground pepper.

  • jamil

    fyi… a wine bottle makes a wonderful rolling pin. you know, the one shaped like a cylinder. then you can drink it! that’s what we use, cuz i have never thought to actually buy a rolling pin.

  • Jangogh

    Using cookie cutters are fun. But discovered that it is easier to roll out dough into a large rectangle and cut into squares. Then use cake decorating tools to draw on frosting. Rerolling the dough ends up making a tougher cookie —- but hey, as long as they have enough frosting, I guess being tough doesnt matter.

  • Favorite

    Fun! I agree, for someone who does not cook, you certainly have all the best kitchen tools. I’m jealous!

    We made Christmas cookies this weekend too – gingerbread and sugar – and I will tell you the Sugar were WAY easier and got just as many sprinkles.

    My daughter is just a few weeks younger than Marlo, so she wasn’t much help!

  • evesix

    Amazing. I’m pretty sure this is my favourite recipe blog post of ALL TIME.

  • adventuregirl77

    Wow, we are definitely on the same page. I am totally with you with the cooking, although I do try and bake about once a month just so I feel like I can say I still do something in the kitchen. I need an excuse to still buy things when I go to a Pampered Chef party.

    My daughter is a few weeks older than Marlo and is ALL ABOUT getting anything into her mouth she possibly can. It is incredible.

    Happy Holidays from Boise!

  • elizabethm

    Love it.

    Is Leta givin’ the finger in one of those photos, or does her hand happen to be positioned just so?

  • Dean M

    You’ve made a compelling argument for store-bought cookies or a visit to a local bakery! Who needs the home-baked headaches? I’m sure you’ll also have the opportunity to buy Girl Scout cookies at some point soon. I hear the ingredients in those tasty treats keep them edible for about 75 years!

  • DeeBee6

    It seems as if you are as good a cook/baker as I am :)
    I am totally impressed with your very professional mixer. I don’t even have one of those…. I think I might have a sifter though…buried somewhere.
    Thank you, yet again, for an entertaining story and Thank God there exists half-baked, mixes and store-bought cookies too :)

  • shelbysea

    speaking of SHINGLES, I was shopping for ingredients today and the store had their “get your SHINGLES shot” announcement on and my hands immediately started doing the jazz hands (or we could now call it the SHINGLES hands) and I was mouthing in slow motion S H I N G L E S…

  • foodnerd

    $12 for crappy supermarket spices is crazy bananas. Dollar and bulk is OK but those big jars will all go stale if they aren’t already. Better to buy from Penzey’s Spices online — everything is super fresh, really high quality, and friggin’ cheap. $4.75 for that same size jar of nutmeg, or they sell a SMALLER JAR, those wacky kids. And they seem to be really nice folks. http://www.penzeys.com

    And I own a sifter and am much too lazy to ever use it. The whisk does the job just fine.

  • Pinkporches

    My mom wasn’t a baker either. Now I own 7 sifters and at least 14 rolling pins. Really.

    Do you think I am overcompensating?

    And Oh how I wish we could hear what Marlo is thinking. Too precious.


  • ana1968

    Just delurking to say your girls are adorable! Love your blog, thanks for always making me laugh :)