On teaching me to slow down
There's this really lovely checker at our grocery store, an older man who has to take his time as he rings up every item in the cart, and by that I mean I once walked through his line with a magazine, a pack of gum, and a gallon of milk and by the time he handed me my receipt I was hunched over with osteoporosis.
I'm sorry, is that mean? Is making fun of calcium deficiencies off-limits now? I'm asking only because I just had the thought that someone might lecture me about how IT'S NOT JUST A CALCIUM DEFICIENCY, HEATHER. It's so much more than that, I know, but seriously, by the time he scanned the milk my pelvic bone had snapped in two.
So I avoid his line like the plague now. Always on the lookout for another line, but yesterday his was the only one with no one in it. Maybe because everybody else is avoiding him, too. And I suddenly felt so sorry for him that I walked right up and started to set my things down on the conveyor belt, hopeful that maybe today he'd had a few cups of coffee or was experimenting with doses of Adderall.
Sadly, no. It was taking him several minutes to choose which item he wanted to scan first, and when he grabbed the bananas I was all OH CRAP. Because whenever he scans a vegetable or fruit, something that requires some sort of memorized numerical code to identify, he stops, breathes as if it is his last breath, looks over his right shoulder IN THE DIRECTION OF THE PRODUCE SECTION, and then closes his eyes for as long as it takes one of my bones to break.
As if the produce section is going to yell out the number. I'm not going to lie, it is the cutest thing I have ever seen.
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FM Living
amandalk said:
There is a person like that at my grocery store. I hate to admit that I avoid him, but I do. Really should learn to slow the heck down sometimes.
12.10.09 - 02:18 PM / 1boygenius said:
Awww.. too cute! I am guilty of being way too impatient in the grocery store, too.
12.10.09 - 02:23 PM / 2Jennifer M. said:
There is an elderly man who works as a bagger at my local grocery store who loves to chat with anyone about anything. I'm not even joking. One time he and I had quite a lengthy conversation about Bounty paper towels and who had the best deal on them. I hate it when he bags my groceries, but at the same time I think "He's just an old friendly man who is probably lonely and just wants someone to talk to you." And what does it cost me to be nice to him? Nothing at all.
12.10.09 - 02:36 PM / 3rantingravenlunatic said:
We have a lady at our local store that every time she checks us out I feel so bad. Her hands are so misshapen from arthritis it looks painful. But she keeps on. Ya know, many of our seniors are forced to go back to work and sometimes it breaks my heart. Others not so much - there are some that are just nasty old people.
12.10.09 - 02:37 PM / 4zerpdog said:
I think every store in America is required to hire an old man/woman that fits that description. And I always end up in their line!!
12.10.09 - 02:40 PM / 5BigMamaCass said:
There is no way that guy lives in Utah because he TOTALLY lives here! And I get him EVERY TIME I go to the store because usually he is the ONLY checker. And by the time I get out of there, my kid is screaming so bad because he is totally ADD and gets bored sitting in the checkout lane for 123749182734 hours that by the time I get to the car, I have no hair because I pulled it all out and my teeth are mere stumps from all the grinding! AHH!
12.10.09 - 02:49 PM / 6Kittay Skeezah said:
Awww poor old man. Bless his heart! lol
I gotta admit, I have no patience for people like that. But then I feel bad afterwards. Oh well!
12.10.09 - 02:52 PM / 7kcbelles said:
One day, we will all be there. Would be nice to think we'll get to retire and enjoy our golden years, but the way the economy has been going, I think more and more of us will be working beyond age 70.
So, yeah, OK, avoid their line if you're in a hurry, but if you've got a few minutes, it doesn't hurt to let them do what they're supposed to do and if you get a little visiting in with it, good for you.
12.10.09 - 02:53 PM / 8Lena said:
AW, you are so good for taking his line. Maybe the mangos secretly yell to him, "That'll be $4.99!"
I am in love with the old Russian guy in our store, his name is Alex with beautiful white hair.
That picture of Chuck made me nearly lose my morning smoothie. "Dawl! Cawl me and we'll go for a manicuwah!"
12.10.09 - 02:54 PM / 9rcheli123 said:
Well, can you blame the guy for being a little gunshy with the bananas? I mean, were they organic? Were they those really tiny bananas? Were they plantains, for cryin' out loud?
That sort of stuff is a nightmare waiting to happen for any grocery check-out person.
12.10.09 - 02:55 PM / 10sarahmichelef said:
I think his evil twin works at my grocery store. Only rather than looking at the produce section dramatically, she really simply cannot deal with bagging in anything other than a standard grocery bag. It's like she has to adjust her whole worldview when we bring in our motley collection of canvas totes and bags from academic conferences.
12.10.09 - 03:13 PM / 11Caitlinjane said:
You could always look up a plu list and remember the codes of the produce you buy most often and surprise him when he holds your bananas "4011!" I bet he's surprised and pleased you're being helpful!
12.10.09 - 03:15 PM / 12wendirobinson said:
i love caitlinjane's idea! and chuck totally looks like bret sommers from the match game in those glasses! i know, i'm showing my age ;)
12.10.09 - 03:28 PM / 13connieemeraldeyes said:
The banana code is 4011. I use it so much, I know it now.
Chuck looks cool in the glasses.
12.10.09 - 03:48 PM / 14Lohmann107 said:
OMG you were a cLue on jeoparty today!!!! Ahhh dooced!
12.10.09 - 03:49 PM / 15vodkamom said:
That will be us in the BLINK of an eye.
12.10.09 - 04:07 PM / 16BOSSY said:
Without your bananas you'd develop a potassium deficit as well. Just to cheer you a bit.
12.10.09 - 04:12 PM / 17belle006 said:
I would blow my head off. Or his. But more likely mine, because quite frankly, I don't have the damn time to sit in prison for murder.
Living in the NYC metro area has done nothing but make me a tightly wound, completely scheduled bitch. Things are NOT fun when I go home to Louisiana for the holidays.
12.10.09 - 04:21 PM / 18WebSavyMom said:
-->If you need a stiff drink by the time you get home, bananas are good for a hangover!
12.10.09 - 04:23 PM / 20TheSkyIsOverrated said:
Hey #16. Blink, blink. I'm already there! I'd type more... but it took me four hours to type this. ;)
12.10.09 - 04:30 PM / 21susanruffin said:
I thought the code for bananas was 4854. I love slow people, I am one of them. NOW GET OUT MY WAY!
12.10.09 - 04:36 PM / 22Jacquie said:
It's cool that you went to the line on a day when you had time. I feel like I never have - or make - the time. There's this one bagger at my grocery store who is employed through a programs that helps adults with special needs find jobs, and I've made it a point to go to his line and talk with him, make eye contact, goof around. He's a really happy guy. When he put a gallon of milk on top of my organic, vine ripened tomatoes I said "oops", let's put that in another bag; and then he stopped smiling. Last time my husband went to that store, he came home with an apple crumb cake that had been placed sideways in the bag. I shit you not.
So, my meandering point here is that the peeps don't make it easy for us to be saintly now, do they?
http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2009/12/watch...
12.10.09 - 04:43 PM / 23greenplanner said:
Next time wear this:
http://www.zazzle.com/banana_4011_tshirt-235439045...
12.10.09 - 04:47 PM / 24MelHeth said:
I have the precursor to osteoporosis and I'm not offended. You're fine.
12.10.09 - 05:04 PM / 25One Pot said:
I confess: I just spent 10 minutes at World Market waiting to get in line at just the right moment so that I wouldn't get The Cashier of Eternal Soliloquy:
"Hello, dear, how vaz everiding? You vant sign up for coupons? It save you a ton of cash? No? Oh, doze are 6 for $12; you vant get 5 more to get discount? Ok, sveetie, but you miss a good deal! No? Oh, deez are cute; vat you gonna do with dem? For your boyfriend? You have boyfriend?"
12.10.09 - 05:09 PM / 26kimchi mama said:
I once read in a book:
You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.
Good words them..
12.10.09 - 05:16 PM / 27hulahulagirl said:
I really think people like that are in our lives to teach us something. I wish there was a photo of him here, but I can imagine him.
12.10.09 - 05:22 PM / 28brooke at clare... said:
Oh my SHINGLES!!!!!!!! YOU, Heather Armstrong, were just an answer on JEOPARDY! I know this has no relevance to your post... I just got excited and wanted to tell you :-)
12.10.09 - 05:25 PM / 29katliz said:
As with #14, connieemeraldeyes, I, too, know that bananas are code #4011. Does Utah not have self checkout? It has saved my grocery shopping experience from actually having to deal with old cashiers, rude cashiers, and the ever-present teenager-cracking-gum-I-have-to-get-a-grown-up-to-ring-up-your-wine cashiers.
12.10.09 - 05:26 PM / 30TeeBird said:
Man.. the setup to leave a comment is a pain in the arse!
I'm commenting not on this post but to let you know Dooce.com was an answer to a question on today's episode of Jeopardy. It was the only answer I knew. And the only one my husband didn't.
12.10.09 - 05:27 PM / 31