Featured community question with accompanying supermodel
Today's featured question from the community comes from user Josie Maran, former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, I am not even joking (you can see for yourself, and then I am going to sit back and watch a flood of teenage boys sign up for the dooce® community):
This isn't necessarily a direct answer to this question, but something happened earlier this week that sort of coincides with it if I wedge it in there, sit on top of it, and staple the box shut.
One of Katey's responsibilities as our assistant is to manage all the recycling that goes on in this house, and let me tell you, it is a total recycling party up in here. We've got cardboard boxes, plastic containers, and scraps of paper climbing the walls like kudzu, and that there was a shout out to my Southern contingent. KUD. ZU. I remember the first time I referenced kudzu in front of Jon, and he was all, you are totally making that up. And I was all, no, for real. It will eat you up:
(photo credit to The Science House)
The problem is that there isn't really a recycling program for glass other than these huge dumptsers up the road that say "BROWN GLASS ONLY" or "GREEN GLASS GOES HERE" and I guess they are routinely emptied by the Glass People. Or maybe by magic. I don't know. I have no idea where that glass goes or who picks it up, but it happens. And that last sentence pretty much looks like my explanation to Leta when she asked how Santa was going to get through the grates we had installed on the top of the chimney to keep out the raccoons. MAGIC! Or maybe he'll use a screwdriver. His elves have tons of those lying around.
Tangent: Leta and I were at the mall on Sunday and passed this really sad and depressing corner where Santa was sitting, just waiting for the kids to show up, the photographer perched awkwardly on a chair next to him. Except, there were no kids to be found. No line. Nothing. I found myself avoiding eye contact with him to spare him the shame, because it was just so pathetic and I was afraid he'd be able to tell that I was thinking, dude, you're like a New Kid on the Block who tried to strike out on his own and no one showed up to the CD release party at WalMart.
(frowny face)
(okay, full disclosure: I saw New Kids on the Block in Jackson, Mississippi in 1990. They were HAW-SOME. I had naughty, repent-worthy thoughts about Jordan Knight, baby, I believe in you.)
Instantly Leta seized my leg and tried to climb up my body. Under no circumstances was she going to go near that man, and I kept going, Leta! It's Santa Claus! And she kept shaking her head, no, no, no, and when I asked why she said, "I think the letter I wrote him will get the job done."
Seriously, why has no one pitched the show where you stick a dozen neurotic five-year-olds into a room, feed them raw sugar and energy drinks, and arm each one with a sharp fork. I would pay good money to see that half hour.
ANYWAY.
In order to recycle glass here you have to get into your car and burn precious fossil fuel while driving to the dumpster. The irony here is not lost on me, but we go through so much glass that it's worth that little bit of carbon dioxide. We've got beer bottles and pickle jars and pasta jars, and let's be honest, maybe a bottle of liquor or ten. What can I say. Marlo likes her martinis dirty.
So we collect all the glass in a plastic bin, and when it gets full one of us, usually Katey, will drive it up to the dumpster. And this last time there was so much glass that it was almost overflowing, and she's trying not to drop any of it because, you know, GLASS. And as she tosses a couple of bottles into the green dumpster some woman pulls up behind her, jumps out of her car and starts yelling at her THAT SHE'S DOING IT WRONG. And holy crap, I thought that only happened on the Internet!
So Katey is all, what? And the woman is going on and on about how she just saw Katey throw a brown glass into the green glass dumpster, doesn't she know? THE FATE OF THE EARTH DEPENDS ON THAT COLOR CODE. And Katey goes, no, pretty sure that was a dark green bottle, and the woman will have none of it. So Katey finally goes, FIRST OF ALL, I'M RECYCLING. And as Katey is telling me this story she and I simultaneously yell out, SECOND OF ALL, THERE IS NO SECOND OF ALL. I'M RECYCLING.
Seriously, someone getting all up in someone else's business because they aren't recycling the right way. IN REAL LIFE. It wasn't even an anonymous comment! It's like, I'm sorry, but the phenomenally generous check you just wrote to our children's foundation is nice, but your penmanship really sucks. You're going to have to write us another one, you turd.
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FM Living
Corey said:
Did Katey ask the woman if she might like to jump in the bin to check?! I would love to see that!
12.17.09 - 08:07 AM / 1melizerd said:
LOL I have to say I can see Katey opening one of those glass bottles of WHOOP ASS on her.
12.17.09 - 08:09 AM / 2spokeit said:
It makes me happy that you still recycle glass. In our town they took away the glass bin because it was costing the city too much money to maintain. Forget the millions global warming is costing!
12.17.09 - 08:19 AM / 3renataface said:
Well, here in Ontario, all you have to do is put all your recyclable items into a blue bin, and set it outside your house on Tuesday morning, and BAM! It's gone! Magic!
Actually, guys wearing coveralls and driving a big truck take it away.
12.17.09 - 08:21 AM / 4CO said:
In Nova Scotia, where my family lives, you can recycle EVERYTHING from your own home and it gets picked up every 2 weeks, along with the garbage. You only have to sort into two groups: one bag for paper stuff and one bag for everything else - plastics, cans, bottles, etc etc. So, while I have always sort of considered this as a bit of a pain in my ass because the garbage collectors are like crazed Nazi's now if you accidentally put something recyclable out in the garbage (and our garbage bags are clear by law so they can see what you chuck out), at least I can just throw it all in together and someone else takes care of it for me!
12.17.09 - 08:22 AM / 5knighton said:
OMG! Same thing happened to me, only it was the cardboard. Apparently I hadn't folded and mutilated into an appropriate size or something ridiculous like that.
Some people!
12.17.09 - 08:23 AM / 6littlewords said:
I've experienced many instances of IMPROPER RECYCLING here in good old uptight Seattle, until they decided we could just everything in together just to get it done!
12.17.09 - 08:23 AM / 7Alexandra said:
I haven't lived at home for almost ten years. My dad STILL, to this day, collects all his pop bottles and cans and stows them in massive leaf/lawn bags and then as soon as I come to visit, casually, as if out of the corner of his mouth, says "Oh, by the way, when you're out if you could happen to drop those cans off at the supermarket."
So my family does a lot of recycling, so long as I'm in town.
(They really do it all year round, I think my dad just likes to get my goat and sees it as a source of public shaming, carrying around those sticky ridiculous bags).
12.17.09 - 08:25 AM / 8jlaur said:
Recycling is ALWAYS commendable but doing it correctly makes a huge difference in the energy required to process the materials and whether they can then be effectively reused. If they can't, then it's really not recycling. Even peeling labels off of glass or cans or rinsing things well before recycling saves a LOT more effort/energy/cost etc than just tossing the whole thing in (I admit I don't always do this). I have no clue if mixing glass has a similar result because we don't separate glass here... but broken glass can't be sorted and usually also won't be recycled. We definitely get points for trying, but... if you do it incorrectly enough, you are unfortunately negating the positive effects. Your stuff will just take a longer, more costly trip to the dump.
12.17.09 - 08:30 AM / 9William said:
If one has a pile of, say Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazines, and one refuses to take them to the recycling center, is that person NOT enviromentally friendly?
12.17.09 - 08:31 AM / 10akhowell said:
Here in Boise they give us a huge bin with an attached lid for all recycling. Everything goes in it, you put it on the curb every other week, and they sort everything for you. Makes it very easy.
12.17.09 - 08:41 AM / 13yay4tay said:
Oh, poor lonely santa :( you guys should've gone to see him. You could've sat on his lap if Leta wouldn't have.
Then again, I'm sure he's getting paid by the hour, and is probably grateful not to have screaming, runny-nosed kids on his lap for a few minutes.
12.17.09 - 08:42 AM / 14EL said:
I gotta say, we Phoenicians have it easy: everything recyclable goes in a big blue bin that gets picked up curbside once a week. Of course, they specifically prohibit dirty diapers, but that's probably reasonable.
12.17.09 - 08:43 AM / 15sheameister said:
Kudzu inhabits my nightmares. In NC, it was everywhere... constantly threatening to swallow me whole. I get serious heebie jeebies just thinking about it. Thanks a lot ;)
Have you seen the websites that sell KUDZU JELLY!?!?! I kid you not. Jelly. Take a moment to ponder that, will you?
12.17.09 - 08:45 AM / 16The Prima Momma said:
When I lived on a farm, we used to have to take all of our garbage and recycling to a dump. The dump site was watched over by a crazy lady that would yell at you if you were tossing anything she felt was still usable.
Many a day she would CLIMB INTO the giant dump bin and drag out treasures. Then she would line them up by the entrance like an Isle Of Lost Garbage Christmas special.
90% of it was broken baby gear.
So SHE was doing her part to reduce, reuse and recycle! I shudder to think of all the red neck farm babies that were injured from being left unattended in the broken baby gear daddy picked up FOR FREE! At the dump!!
12.17.09 - 08:45 AM / 17adrienne jackson said:
in our small town, middle of nowhere, saskatchewan, canada, we have no curb side .... and the drop off town bins only take certain things, and then the place where you can get $ for your bottles only takes certain things. so in order to recycle your cardboard boxes and wine bottles, you need some serious organization at your own home, and you gotta be willing to do multiple drop offs. we even built a little recycling shed. it's a hassle, but it gets done.
12.17.09 - 08:49 AM / 18The Prima Momma said:
Is kudzu related to the infamous Elephant Ear plant that I grew up with in Utah? That stuff will take over ANYTHING.
12.17.09 - 08:50 AM / 19jeannefay said:
I referred to our Virginia creeper as kudzu for several years before my husband discovered there really was such a thing. Honestly, if I'm going to make something up it'll be better than that.
12.17.09 - 08:58 AM / 20Jillybeans said:
not knowing anything about Kudzu, I logically Wikipedia'd it... did you know:
"The Harvard Medical School is studying kudzu as a possible way to treat alcoholic cravings, by turning an extracted compound from the herb into a medical drug.[7] The mechanism for this is not yet established, but it may have to do with both alcohol metabolism and the reward circuits in the brain."
12.17.09 - 08:59 AM / 21little_dynamite said:
i had to drive my recycling to the waste management/recycling center when i lived in my old apartment complex. once, i had a man stop me and lecture me for not turning my car off for the thirty seconds it took to dump my cardboard into the dumpster and i just looked at him like, seriously dude? i wanted to yell, "HEY...I'M RECYCLING HERE!"
12.17.09 - 09:05 AM / 22Mo said:
You got the RIGHT STUFF, bAbY! I love the way you TURN me ON!
(sorry. I got hung up on the NKOTB reference.)
My dad used to throw away the recyclables when my mom wasn't looking on purpose. He still thinks it is a conspiracy to keep liberals ignorant while feeling effective. So now we recycle behind HIS back. HA!
12.17.09 - 09:07 AM / 23momof8 said:
Come to Minnesota! We have curbside recycling. We are provided with bins on wheels and we can throw plastic, paper, cardboard and glass all in the same bin! THEN you can pick your own hauler, so one of the 3 recycling trucks that come through your neighborhood can pick up your recycling! Yes, irony is everywhere.
12.17.09 - 09:07 AM / 24Mo said:
(Hangin' TOUGH! Hangin TOUGH!)
12.17.09 - 09:08 AM / 25sarahdoow said:
I love the "Tangent" announcement. It makes me want to get a little hand-held sign to hold up whenever I feel the need to go off on a tangent ... which is quite regularly.
12.17.09 - 09:10 AM / 26SOLO dot MOM said:
I'm with comment number 1... I would love to see that. The nerve... I mean really!
12.17.09 - 09:20 AM / 27Peanut Peddler said:
The woman was probably Swiss. Anybody who has had to recycle in Switzerland knows what I'm talking about.
12.17.09 - 09:29 AM / 28portlandrose said:
My in-laws live in Idaho, not too far from you actually in Utah (more mormons per capita in Idaho!) They don't recycle anything. Not. One. Thing.
The reason is not that they are hateful, earth destroying people (well...) but that my MIL claims that the hassle associated with it is just too much to handle.
While I have made my thoughts clear and explained how I used to drive my recylcing once a week yada yada yada, I do believe that if you don't make it easy, people won't do it.
Good for you, er, good for Katey and you for paying her to do it!!
12.17.09 - 09:44 AM / 29JannyLynn410 said:
When my sister lived in Virginia she used to recycle all the time. She'd take the time and sort everything and set it out nicely on the sidewalk for them to take away. Then one day she actually watched them... they grabbed her recycle bin, dumped it in her garbage can, then grabbed her garbage can and dumped it in the truck. She refused to sort after that...
12.17.09 - 09:45 AM / 30Jla0979 said:
I don't get that. I don't get why the people who design the recycling programs are all "Yeah, we are going to save the earth, but make it AS COMPLICATED AS HUMANELY POSSIBLE" This goes here, that goes there, this gets picked up, that gets dropped off, but only if you separate correctly and blah blah blah.
12.17.09 - 09:46 AM / 31sunshinecupcakes said:
Dude, why is recycling so hard for you in Utah? In Arizona, we're overrun by derelicts - yet, we toss any and all recyclables together in one bin and VOILA some nice man comes and takes it away each week.
Seems like the wholesome Utahns would have this going smoother than we SouthaThaBorderns!
12.17.09 - 09:54 AM / 32